The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - When Your I Do Part 2, Was Your I Do Part 1

Episode Date: February 19, 2025

Jennifer Fessler of “Real Housewives of New Jersey” is telling all about her decision to separate and then reconcile with her husband Jeff. When you reunite after a separation, should you renew your vows in the I Do Part 2 era? Plus, essential advice if you're getting back together after separating from your spouse.   She’s giving you hope and inspiration if you’re looking to make your marriage work. Email us at: [e-mail] or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs. The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy Truthers believe in...

I guess they would be Kenspiracy theorists. That's right. To give you the answers and you still blitzers. The Puzzler. Listen on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Humanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness. Psychobabble

Yes, yes Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you Open your free IHeartRadio app Search Emergency Intercom And listen now What would you do if one bad decision Forced you to choose Between a maximum security prison

Or the most brutal boot camp Designed to be hell on earth Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo This was the choice he faced He said you are a number A New York State number And we own you Listen to Shock and Car

on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Every case that is a cold case that has DNA. Right now in a backlog will be identified in our lifetime. On the new podcast, America's Crime Lab, every case has a story to tell. And the DNA holds the truth. He never thought he was going to get caught. And I just looked at my computer screen. I was just like, ah, gotcha.

This technology is already solving so many cases. Listen to America's Crime Lab on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi guys, welcome back to IDo Part 2, the podcast for people that maybe got love wrong the first time. or the second time or the third or fourth time and now find themselves back out there looking for love. My name is Jennifer Fessler and you may or may not know me from the Housewives of New Jersey. I also have a podcast that I co-host

with Jackie Goldschneider from the Housewives of New Jersey. It's called Two Jersey Jays. And I am honored to the hosting I Do Part 2 today. I'm a huge fan. of all of the founders of this podcast, Amy Robach, T.J. Holmes, Jenny Garth, Jenna Kramer. I know you guys know them. And I also am a big fan of being open and honest and telling your story. And I don't know, I feel, I feel privileged to have been asked to tell mine. I hope that you guys who are listening can relate to some of it. It is, like every other story, it is a sad story. Sometimes

difficult to tell but ultimately the good news is it has a very happy ending you know I spoke about my love story my marriage I spoke about it on housewives a little bit in season 13 maybe even into season 14 but not really the details of it so I'm just going to share you know I've been married for 25 years and two of those years were really, really difficult and actually my husband and I separated, but I'm getting way ahead of myself. So I will give you a little bit of information just about me. I grew up as the product of divorce for sure. So my parents divorced when I was three years old. And so I, you know, I don't remember that part of my life really. But I can tell you that.

They both got remarried and they both got divorced again and remarried. And then my second stepfather passed away. I have a third stepfather now. And my dad got divorced again and then married again and divorced again. So I am certainly an expert when it comes to parents getting divorced. And you would think that my own experience, well, I'm sure it was affected by that, but you would think that that would have been really helpful. But when I was separated and considering divorce, but everything is, God, you know, you do the best you can during difficult times. But so my childhood was not idyllic by any stretch of the imagination.

my parents didn't speak to each other. There really wasn't like a co-parenting situation. I lived, my mom, when she got remarried, we moved to Sugarland, Texas, of all places, and my dad was living in New York City. And I guess, you know, we went, I have a sister, one sister through my dad and my mom. I have two brothers from my dad and a stepmother

who's no longer my stepmother. And then I have a sister from my father and his third wife. That sister is actually younger than my daughter. It's a whole dysfunctional effed up mess. But anyway, so I come from a lot of chaos. And my parents certainly did not get along. They didn't really speak. And we were shuttled back and forth, a lot of craziness.

So, you know, when I met my husband, I, well, first of all, I was dying to have babies and get married, even after all of the chaos that, you know, I had been through as a kid. I really, that biological clock was kicking. I met Jeff and I was the director of a dating service called It's Just Lunch. And the premise behind It's Just Lunch, I actually think it still exists was that professionals are really, really busy. and nobody has time for dinner necessarily on a first date, and how about we just meet up for lunch or a drink, see if there's a spark, and move on.

So I was the director, which was really a crazy job, but that's for another episode. I was the director of this dating service and trying to get my numbers up and get people to join and reached out to Jeff Fessler, He had been a client before I got there and his membership had expired. So called him up one day and my name is Jen and I would love to meet you. I know you were a member and your membership has expired and he's like, no, thank you.

It wasn't great for me. I'm not interested. And being Jeff Fessler, I was able to persuade him and you know, you haven't met me yet. I'm the new director and I think that, you know, you can have a different experience anyway. So he came in like that afternoon. And he joined, he joined again, but the interesting part of that was that he said, you know, you have all these questions you have to ask, like, what are you looking for? What are you looking for? You know, mentally, emotionally, physically. And he's like, what am I looking for? Look in the mirror. And if you know Jeff, if any of you've ever watched the Housewives or seen him on it, he's, that's not really his personality. He's these very introverted sort of shy. guy. And so I didn't realize at the time what a big deal that was. But so I said, no, sorry, I have a boyfriend, which I didn't. I was not attracted to him. Not that he wasn't attractive,

I just didn't have a spark. And not to mention the fact that I was, you know, I was working for this company and really shouldn't be dating my clients. But that was probably second to the fact that I didn't think there was a connection. Anyway, he was very persistent and started calling me at work. And please, let's get together. We can just be friends. And, like, I just, it's funny because I met him for a drink. And he walked in to, we had a drink at the four seasons on 57th Street. Anyway, he walked in and I thought, not for me.

Jeff is five, five, he likes to say he's five, six. And the only thing I cared about for sure at that time when people would fix me up on blind dates was that he had to be tall because I always had to have. sort of like this complex about being a bigger girl and, you know, careful what you wish for. What is that saying? We, wait, we do something and God laughs. We plan and God laughs anyway. But we became friends. And but he was always still interested. And I wasn't, but we played that little game and still hung out. And eventually he, I told him I'd fix him up. you know, I am the director of this dating service, so come in and we'll talk, and I'll show you some pictures of some of the women and tell me who you like. And so he did that. And the second he started to pick out those women that he liked, I started to get really annoyed. And I was like, excuse me, you are in love with me. What is happening here? So I started to feel something for Jeff. And at the time, I was dating someone else. I'm trying to kind of wrap this up pretty quickly, this part of the story, you guys. But, um,

Long story short, on one particular day, I kissed the guy I was dating and I kissed Jeff Fessler. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second. It's Jeff Fessler. It is not this guy. And very quickly, I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, I love Jeff Fessler. And very quickly after that, we were engaged. Very quickly after that, we were married. Very quickly after that, we were pregnant.

And so once I realized that he was the one, He had kind of figured it out before I did. I just, I was like, you know, amen, let's go, let's start. Let's get this part of my life rolling the family, the house in the suburbs, all of it. I was, it was so exciting that time in my life. And, you know, we had been really, really close friends for a while. And once that, once I kind of crossed over into falling in love with Jeff, it was, of course, it was more exciting and different, but the basis of our relationship was always that we were best friends. And today, I would tell you that that is the most important part of me and Jeff Fessler.

I mean, we are family, and he is everything to me. But I just, I had that with him always. I still have it today and I tell my kids all the time, how important that is to not just fall in love and have all of the pheromones and the hormones and the, you know, sparks and that kind of a sexual connection, but also I really like the person you decide to spend your life with, right?

and to respect that person. And I felt all of that for Jeff Fessler. So we get married. And we do the newlywed thing. We do the new parents thing. And four months after we got married, I was pregnant, and gave birth to my son in 2000. In 2002, I gave birth to my daughter.

and was, you know, just, I don't want to say playing that role. That's not, it's really not the way it felt. I was living that life. I was just, everything was about, you know, the babies and Jeff and our new family. And I guess like seven years into the marriage, well, things probably started to change before that. Maybe they started to change a little bit year five, I don't know.

I started hanging out with friends who loved going out on Thursday nights in my town and we would go out to whatever local restaurant or bar and we would drink and we would flirt with guys and there wasn't anything specific happening. I didn't have an affair but I sort of like started to check out a little bit and I started to crave that attention that I did for years. from men, lots of daddy issues, but I always felt the need to draw a man's attention. And, you know, the beginning, when you have little babies, I wasn't feeling that as much. And then all of a sudden I was like, I started to need attention from men again. And so it was kind of like a thing. I mean, I don't know how I found this group of women that also wanted to go out. out on Thursday nights because, you know, my best friends who are still my best friends today,

a lot of them have been divorced, but there are some of them that didn't really crave that. I don't know. That's just where I was at in my life. And Jeff and I were not connecting. He was working crazy long hours. He was an associate who was trying to make partner and at a law firm, he was a lawyer. and so he was traveling all the time and you know I used to with the kids and another friend of mine and his husband was traveling all the time we always said we were like sister wives and it was like

you know four kids together and the two of us getting them through anyway so I was out there as my point and my marriage was definitely not my priority at that time and it wasn't for Jeff either. And so, you know, we were just not connecting. We were not connecting on an emotional level and we were not connecting on a physical level. And eventually, I discovered at about year seven, I guess, that Jeff had an affair. And yeah, that was a hard day. The podcast is not long enough for me to get into all of the details of it all, but I will tell you that it was a very strange thing. This woman that Jeff was involved with and I had this conversation and I don't know, I knew almost immediately that something was up. But that's not the point of this whole

big picture story. But I, as you would expect, completely lost my mind. I'm saying all of this to you first about my going out on Thursday nights and the headspace I was in because I do believe that it was just a matter of time before it was me. And so everybody, you know, I got so much feedback and advice. And I remember just like my mom saying, how could you stay with him? And but I guess I knew there was a part of me that knew that not only does it take two, but I almost felt lucky that it was him first because I could place all the blame on him. But I had been flirting with other guys and whatever. I know that I was headed in that direction.

My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious. Oh, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast. So we'll find out soon. person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That

sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor and they're the same age. It's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not. To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor.

And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD, ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness. Psychobabble. Yes, yes.

Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy cheesement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex.

No, no, no, no. We're not doing that this season. Oh. Well, this season we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special Bestie and you're not going to want to miss it. Get in here. Today we have a very special guest with us. Our new Super Secret Bestie is The Deva of the People.

The Deva of the People. I'm just like Text Your Ex. My theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it. Go and figure it out for yourself. That's us. That's us. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya.

In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heart breaks, men, and of course, our favorite secrets. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club as a part of the Mar Cultura Podcast Network available on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm Jenna Lopez, and in the new season of the Overcomfit podcast, I'm taking you on an exciting journey of self-reflection. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? I wanted to be successful on my own, not just because of who my mom is. Like, I felt like I needed to be better or work twice as hard as she did.

Join me for conversations about healing and growth. Life is freaking hard. And growth doesn't happen in comfort. It happens in motion, even when you're hurting. All from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen. Honestly, these are going to come out so freaking amazing. Be a part of my new chapter and listen to the new season of the Overcumper podcast as part of the MyCultura podcast network on the IHHHHHH

Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth? Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced. He said, you are a number, a New York State number, and we own you. Shock incarceration, also known as boot camps, are short-term, highly regimented correctional programs that mimic military basic training. These programs aim to provide a shock of prison life, emphasizing strict discipline, physical training, hard labor, and rehabilitation programs.

Mark had one chance to complete this program and had no idea of the hell awaiting him the next six months. The first night was so overwhelming and you don't know who's next to you. And we didn't know what to expect in the morning. Nobody tells you anything. Listen to shock incarceration on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Once I discovered that Jeff had had an affair, we probably spent, I guess, about a year still together. And the summer after it happened, I said to him, I'm going to Florida.

because I'd had lots of friends in Florida. My sister was in Florida. I'm taking the kids for the summer, and I just need some space. This was not a separation. This was just, I just want to go to Florida. I want to, you know, be by my friends, be by my sister, found a little rental, went to Florida, and not only found a little rental, found myself a little boyfriend. And so the end of that summer, I'll never forget, Jeff came to visit.

and I told him that I wanted a separation. And it's interesting because I remember when he came to visit, and we actually took the kids to Disney. And when he left, I just will never forget my son just being so distraught. I want to go home. I want daddy. You know, I didn't factor in when I got separated, I guess because I had been through so much divorce.

I didn't factor in how hard. it was going to be, not only on my kids, but to watch my kids in that kind of pain. You know, they weren't. My parents were divorced when I was three, and then they got divorced again and again and again and again. And so, you know, my mind kids are resilient, and but it was a whole other level of difficult. And, you know, I think probably every mother and father feels that, right? When heard it said that like when you're getting divorced you get to the point if you go through with your divorce where nothing matters except that you can't be with this person anymore because it's so hard it's so hard

especially if you have kids well it's hard even if you don't obviously but it's so hard to watch your kids go through this with you and so I guess I think a lot of people get to the point where they're like okay listen the kids are resilient I don't care about the money I don't care about being alone I just can't be in this marriage anymore. But that was not the case with me or Jeff. So, but I had this boyfriend and I was convinced that, you know, it was time and that I wanted a divorce. So I went back to Jersey and Jeff moved out and he moved into New York City and was distraught, I have to say. And the boyfriend, my boyfriend at the time moved to jersey from florida i did so many things wrong you guys that i wouldn't

not do again and that i'm sorry for even though in the end there's a happy ending but um you know i was so caught up in this feeling of my heart racing from this guy and you know he's a nice guy he was a very nice guy and this passion that i was feeling and that just took over in a way and I would have I had to do it again I would have slowed things way down and I would have

you know potentially just happen it all seemed to happen so fast and him moving to New Jersey and introducing him to my kids and you know them forming a relationship so you know

you live and learn and the thing is though you know Jeff and I were separated for a year and a half going on going on two but the whole time we were separated um we just didn't seem to move forward in the divorce proceeding so we got a mediator and which was an easy choice to make because there wasn't a lot of um animosity there anything there was just like i just felt so sad and so badly because

Jeff really did not want to get divorced, although he did, he got a girlfriend also. But we would like, I don't know, there was no screaming at each other over money. I remember at one point I said to him, listen, I'm not worried. We don't need a lawyer because I know you. I know your heart. I know what kind of father you are. I'm not at all worried that you're going to screw me. I trust you.

And I'm sure that people everywhere, friends, I don't remember at the time. They were probably like, you're a freaking idiot. But I just, I knew him. I know Jeff Fessler. And so we didn't like, we weren't at each other's throats when the kids would call to complain about, I don't know, daddy said this or daddy did that. I was sort of like, honey, you dialed the wrong number. Do not complain about your father to me. And, you know, he was the same.

We were just very respectful of each other and sad and just very, very sad. And eventually, there's a lot that went down. But eventually, we were both on vacation. Jeff took the kids to beaches in Jamaica, maybe. And I at that time went to St. Bart, it's very glamorous, with my boyfriend. And the whole time I was there, I was so sad. And it had nothing to do with this guy, again, perfectly. lovely guy treated me very well, but I just missed my family. And when I would talk to Jeff

and the kids, you know, and they were in a whole different, they were an all-inclusive and I don't know. I was at this glamorous hotel. It was like, you know, a fortune and hobnobbing with the rich and famous. And all I wanted to do was like be at the buffet at beaches in Jamaica. And I just, I guess I just, I missed Jeff. I just missed him terribly. So, got back from vacation and I would lie to my boyfriend and tell him I was going to mediation. And meanwhile, I was like meeting Jeff at Chili's and just talking. And, you know, he was so certain that we were making a mistake the whole time.

And I think I was, I also, I knew in my heart that it was a mistake because again, it's it's not easy to get divorced. I think that most people, maybe not everyone, but most people that do, they're pretty positive, right? And I just didn't want to live my life without Jeff Fessler, and there were so many reasons for it. Jeff Fessler made and makes me feel safe and makes me feel peaceful. I heard who said this, maybe Mel Robbins said something once that resonated with me and it was that he's like she said uh don't wish to fall madly in love wish to fall peacefully in love and i know like at the beginning of any relationship there's the sparks fly and there's all of that energy and and you know excitement and crazy sex and all of that not always

but hopefully but i would say and i have said to my kids all of that after a while it's not that entirely but life gets real and so that did definitely dissipate for us that excitement and life got real and i think that we both were looking for that excitement again as opposed to looking to each other to find it and to put it back into our marriage um i say all of this to you by the way i'm not a marriage counselor this is just i'm just this is just you know my experience but um we again we went to Chili's and then it was Valentine's Day and he bought me these little earrings and it was like okay enough this is clearly we are not ready to get divorced but we also knew that we couldn't get back together and then have it happen again right you can't do that to your kids again so we had long conversations and I just knew that I didn't want to live my life without Jeff Fessler in it not only in it, but, you know, as my husband. And so we made that decision and try again.

I remember we went, my kids always went to sleepway camp, and we went to visiting day, and we sat down, and we're like, you know, we have to tell you something. We are getting back together. And I just remember them staring at us. And like, I was like, you guys, I promise you, promise you this is not going to happen again. And I don't remember the exact words that I used, but, you know, they were confused, of course, and happy, of course. And we sold our house

because it was just time for a fresh start. And same town, moved into a new house. And actually, we're in our third house here in Upper South River, where we live. And we started again. So let me just say, first of all, I am not suggesting that anyone follow in the path that Jeff Bessler and I did. And I'm not saying that separation for sure is the answer. I can only speak from my own experience and say that things changed and they changed for better. It's funny because in my town, like a lot of small suburban towns, everybody talks, right? So like when we got separated, everybody talked when, you know, everybody knew about our infidelity and everybody knew when I had the new boyfriend and whatever. But when we got back together, I think that's

probably when people started talking the most. And I started getting phone calls from a lot of women confidentially reaching out and saying, listen, I, you know, whatever, I really am not, I want to get separated, but I'm not sure I want to get divorced or women that were separated and how'd you do it? What did you do? How did you manage to get back together? And I don't even know, and I didn't know then. I really don't know now if there's a clear-cut answer. I just, I couldn't divorce him.

I'm, thank God, because I feel blessed every day that our marriage survived and that, you know, our family is intact. but I just didn't have that conviction, I guess, that I wanted to live without my husband. And we were both humble enough to also, we went to therapy, of course, and, like, admit our mistakes and talk about the infidelities and talk about, you know, where things went wrong and how we took each other for granted. And so, yeah, so we got back together and life began again. We've been married for 25 years. And so I'll tell you that my marriage is not perfect. And I am certainly not perfect. I am the biggest pain in the ass.

Jeff is close to perfect. I would say that. He's an amazing father, and he is an amazing man, just a good man. If any of you out there are Jewish or no, the word mensch, that's what Jeff is. Good man. And I'm very lucky, and he puts up with a lot of shit. I am messy. I am at times lazy, cranky, nasty, nasty.

And my husband is very, very patient. He's not perfect either, so let me say that. And he can also drive me crazy. But I see in him, how's this? I feel lucky all the time. I feel like very, I feel just very blessed. So fast forward, I guess, all these years, years, I will tell you that Jeff and I are not, we are not guided by this spark. I use that

word. I hope you guys relate to it. In other words, we ain't hanging from the chandeliers, right? We're not like, and that's not to say that I'm not trying to put down our sex life or our connection. I'm just trying to be real and tell you that those things are good, but they are not. We are, I am 56. Jeff is 62 years old. So that is not our priority. And people, you know, a lot of people would disagree with me and do disagree with me that that has to be a huge priority, right? Sex and date night and connection. And we're together all the time, obviously. But I don't know that our marriage is based on that stuff. And that's not to say, I don't know if it's good, bad, or I don't know.

I'm just, this is what is for us. And we are, to this day, we are best friends. We are parents of these, you know, two incredible people. And, you know, my sister has been through divorce and many, many of my friends have. But she always says to me that she's specifically because of the kids. She's, I don't know, jealous is the right word. She's my sister. She wishes that she had a family unit and that it's so nice to, you know, be able to be together the four of us after all of these years.

And so I feel very, very lucky about that, right? No one will ever love your kids as much as your, as much as their father or their mother, you know, whoever you made them with. And nobody's ever going to be as invested, right, as the two of you. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Well, wait a minute, Sam, maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her.

Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same. age. It's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Yumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom.

If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now.

The Super Secret Festi Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy cheeseman. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no, we're not doing that this season. Oh, well, this season, we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it.

Get in here! Today, we have a very special guest with us. Our new super secret bestie is the diva of the people. The diva of the people. I'm just like, text your ex. My theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it. Go and figure it out for yourself. Okay.

That's us. That's us. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heart breaks, men, and, of course, our favorite secrets. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club as a part of the Mikultura podcast network available on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. A foot washed up a shoe with some bones in it. They had no idea who it was.

Most everything was burned up pretty good from the fire that not a whole lot was salvageable. These are the coldest of cold cases, but everything is about to change. Every case that is a cold case that has DNA right now in a backlog will be identified in our lifetime. A small lab in Texas is cracking the code on DNA. Using new scientific tools, they're finding clues in evidence so tiny you might just miss it. He never thought he was going to get caught. And I just looked at my computer screen. I was just like, ah, gotcha.

On America's Crime Lab, we'll learn about victims and survivors. And you'll meet the team behind the scenes at Othrum, the Houston Lab that takes on the most hopeless cases to finally solve the unsolvable. Listen to America's Crime Lab on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My name is Ed. Everyone say hello, Ed.

I'm from a very rural background myself. Dad is a farmer, and my mom is a cousin, so, like, it's not, like... What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected to hear. Well, 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man had killed his family. And then he came to my house.

So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? A new podcast called Wisecrack, where stand-up comedy and murder takes center stage. Available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. But things are different now. Oh, God, they are so different now. Certainly than before we were separated. But even, you know, over the years, things have changed.

And we're getting older. And so, you know, when people ask about the state of my marriage, like I always talk about the stuff that I love about it. I mean, I can tell you things I don't love about it, but the things that I love about it. So I love going on vacation with Jeff Esler. we've traveled a lot together and what I love about it is that we've developed this rhythm and we kind of like he knows and I know exactly when we go on vacation we plan it all around

the three meals every day where are we eating breakfast lunch and dinner and we are like when I say foodies I don't mean we're fancy we're not but we are both that's what we care about the most is where are we eating of course the sightseeing of course seeing different places meeting different people but there's a limit to that because we know that we know that i'm done after the morning of sightseeing like that the afternoon has to be you know chill and whatever that looks like um and that we're going to go out to dinner early because i need to be in bed by 10 and jeff has adopted that way of vacationing and he's also like that now you know i don't know we have a rhythm and we have a rhythm and we

We understand each other. We laugh a lot. We also fight. I don't know about a lot, but we definitely fight. We laugh a lot. It's, there's this, I don't, there's this peace in my house that I did not have growing up. And shout out to peace.

So, funny, my friends who are single, I've set them up. I try to, and I say there's a lot of them who are my age, a little younger, a little older, and sometimes they don't connect with whoever they're dating and, you know, on the first date or the second date, and, you know, there's a lot of, I don't know, I don't see myself having sex with them or I don't see, my heart's not racing, I don't know, and I could be wrong about this, but if I was single now, what I'd be looking for is not necessarily that, Spark. I think that's great if you find it. I'd be looking for peace. I'd be looking for

companionship. I'd be looking for someone whose life views matched my own, someone that I could have fun with and who is solid and who would, like Jeff, Jeff actually interestingly Interestingly enough, comes from the opposite childhood that I had. His parents were married for over 50 years, two of the most wonderful humans that have ever walked the face of this earth. Max and Phyllis Fessler were just everything. I get choked up, even talking about them. They had the most beautiful marriage, and he just lived and died for her.

The same, but she felt the same. a lot of health issues and he just always took care of her and he set this example i think for jeff um you know of what a good husband looks like and i you know people you know i'm honest about jeff's affair and about then i had my own affairs plural but uh jeff is the kind of husband that just shows up period and shows up for his kids help him i think i'm all over the place you guys excuse me I am, but like, you know, this is, I don't know why the story is popping into my head, but when my son was graduating middle school, Jeff had won this award, this huge award. He won Lawyer of the Year, he's a securities attorney, so like in his area, I want to say Citibank

sponsored this. It was a huge event where he was being honored, and it fell on the same day as middle school graduation. And I was like, Jeff, I'm sorry, but Zach's not going to make his middle school graduation either. We're going. You're going to this gala honoring you. And for me, there was no question. I was like, this is a once in a lifetime. And he was not having it. And he had to have someone from his office be there to take his place. And I'm bragging about that because I'm so proud of that, because I know that if it was me and someone was honoring me for being the best friend of a housewife ever, they could have been graduating from college. We were going to that party. And so I bring other things to the table, but I am a little on the, a little on the selfish side. But, you know, that's just who he is. And so today, here we are,

you know, we are in our, you know, golden years, I don't know, we're middle age, a little older than middle age, now and life is hard and it has dealt us blows like it does us all and we do the best we can and we fight and we have unhappy moments and unhappy periods of time but um i don't know i i feel very very lucky to have made my marriage work and you know to know that i'm growing old with this person who is just, he's just so nice to me. I mean, that sounds so silly, right? But he is, he's so nice to me, and I try to be so nice to him, and just appreciate him. And we're very different.

You know, I'm, I am outgoing, I'm an extrovert, Jeff's an introvert. I remember at the beginning of our marriage, it used to really annoy me because we would go out with other couples, and Jeff was very quiet. He is very quiet, not at home at all. work but he socially he can be and so he wouldn't say much and i used to get pissed and to get big fights on the way home and now it's like i don't give a shit and he talks when he has something to say and he bonds with the guys that he bonds with and he's actually enjoys being social more than i do it's up to jeff we would go out at least twice a week once a week is more

then i'd like to be going out but he's very into it and he loves being social he loves all this reality tv stuff and the house i love it too but he really loves it but i used to get so mad at him and now as we've gotten older just does not bother me at all there are other things that bother me there are other things that we disagree on he gets mad at me for i mean many things but it's just different it's like we went through it and it was it really sucked and We learned from it, I guess, and we are both so grateful to be where we are today. You know, we're not in couples therapy anymore, but that definitely helped. I would definitely recommend that.

You know, we are, I don't know, our house is very peaceful. That's what I want for my kids and for anyone who's listening. I would tell you that, yes, fall madly in love. I want passion for the people that I love. I want them to experience romance and passion and everything that goes along with it. And I'm not saying it's not still part of my marriage. He walks the door and sometimes my heart

does skip a little beat. I'm very proud of him, but that is not the basis of it. The basis of us is, you know, it might sound funny since I've talked about infidelity, but it's trust and it's respect, mutual respect, he is smart and I love that. I know he's very proud of me for all this silly world that I've become part of, but he loves it. He loves watching me do my thing, and he tells me, appreciates me, and even the podcast

that I do with Jackie, the fact that I'm doing, I do part two today, you know, he's So he's like, I know he's very, very proud of me. We're good to each other. But, you know, I mean, that's kind of our story. And it's, you know, we haven't had a perfect story, but I wouldn't change it. I say that. Yeah, no, I wouldn't. Like, I don't, again, I'm not recommending separation.

But for some reason, it was probably the best thing that ever happened to us. And so I'm grateful for it. So, you know, I get asked sometimes if we would ever do, like, a vow renewal. Nah. You will say that. I mean, no, I don't know. We're not, Jeff, Jeff is not one for words. I don't know.

I mean, we write each other beautiful cards, but I don't see that for us. I think it would just be, I think it's a beautiful, it's beautiful when people do it, but for us, it would just probably be kind of cheesy. And I think we're just, there's no question now that we're, committed and our vows are in place, listen, never say never. I feel as positive as I could that our marriage is now going to last till death do us part. But again, you never know. So listen, for anyone out there who maybe is thinking about reconciling with an ex, If there's a chance, and I'm not saying an ex necessarily a boyfriend, like if you're married, if you have kids and you're thinking about it a little bit, you know, if you're asking me, I'm going to tell you, yeah, like, pursue that, maybe have some more conversation, you know, maybe go to mediation and therapy, maybe go to Chili's,

and have a margarita and try to speak nicely to each other. If there's still that heart in you that's not sure, you know, divorce is hard. It's hard on the people that are getting divorced. It's hard on the man. It's hard on the woman or the two men or the two women and it's hard on the kids. So for me, it worked to try again. So if there's a chance, I would encourage you to try to explore it because it is really nice. to have been married for 25 years.

Actually though, excuse me, Jeff says 23. He won't give me the 25 because of the two years we were separated, but I'm telling him 25, especially when it is time for gifts. So, but I wish everybody out there love, whether it's your part two, your part three, your part four, whatever that looks like, whatever form that it takes.

And if it means divorce, I'm also for that. You know, nobody, I don't, I wouldn't wanted to set an example for my kids of being unhappy and living unhappy and fighting constantly and I don't think that's healthy I know that's not healthy so and there are of course cases where divorce is the way to go we got we got lucky so I you know I recommend if you're having doubts to at least respect those doubts maybe and I hope though if you do or if you don't that You are at peace and happy in your relationships or happy alone or if you're at the beginning of your relationship, if you're at the beginning of a marriage, if you're beginning of your second marriage, I recommend, I don't know, mutual respect and friendship and laughs, lots and lots of laughter. Okay, guys, so thank you so much for allowing me to tell you my little story here.

I really love what this podcast is about and I hope that maybe sharing my experience may help someone going through something similar. You know, if you're separated, if you're going through divorce, you can always, if you have questions, please DM me, please reach out. You can call, you can email, follow us on socials. All the information is going to be in the show notes and you can rate the show, you can review it. if you feel like it, I would love it. But I do part two is an iHeart radio podcast where falling in love is the main objective. Thank you guys very much for listening. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious.

Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week. on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Hold up.

Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is, Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs. The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy-truthers believe in...

I guess they would be conspiracy theorists. That's right. They gave you the answers, and you still blew it. The Puzzler. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Yumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom.

If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now.

I just normally do straight stand up, but this is a bit different. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? Answer, a new podcast called Wisecrack, where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story. Does anyone know what show they've come to see? It's a story. It's about the scariest night of my life. This is Wisecrack, available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Every case that is a cold case that has DNA. right now in a backlog, will be identified in our lifetime. On the new podcast, America's Crime Lab, every case has a story to tell, and the DNA holds the truth. He never thought he was going to get caught, and I just looked at my computer screen. I was just like, ah, gotcha. This technology's already solving so many cases. Listen to America's Crime Lab on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your

podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast. Thank you.