The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Why Has The Bar Gotten So Low In Dating?

Episode Date: April 30, 2026

Dating can feel like a job these days, but Mr. Right is here to give some advice to bring the FUN back! And we dive into our thoughts on why the bar has gotten so low when it comes to dating, and how we can hopefully raise it back up.  Email us at: [e-mail] or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed human. A win is a win. A win is a win. I don't care what you're saying. Yep, that's me. Clivert Taylor the 4th. You might have seen the skits,

my basketball and college football journey, or my career in sports media. Well, now I'm bringing all of that excitement to my brand new podcast, The Clifers Show. This is a place for raw, unfills of conversations with athletes, creators, and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated.

So let's get to it. Listen to the Clifford show on the IHeard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more behind the scenes, follow at Clifford and at TikTok podcast network on TikTok. On The Look Back at it podcast. For 1979, that was a big moment for me. 84's big to me. I'm Sam J. And I'm Alex English.

Each episode, we pick a hear, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. With our friends, fellow comedians, and favorite authors. Like Mark Lamont Hill on the 80s. 84 was a wild. I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. When a group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist, they take matters into their own hands. I vowed. I will be his last target.

He is not going to get away with this. He's going to get what he deserves. We always say that trust your girlfriends. Listen to the girlfriends. Trust me, babe, on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. In 2023, Bachelor star Clayton Eckerd was accused of fathering twins. But the pregnancy appeared to be a hoax. You doctored this particular test twice in so much, correct?

I doctored the test ones. It took an army of internet detectives to uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same. thing. Greg Gillespie and Michael Mancini. My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trapped. Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I do part two family. I'm back with part two of our last podcast. I am Mr. Wright. I'm here to tell you all the things that men are thinking about and picking up

where we left off with our last set of questions. Well, Leslie 46 says this. She says, dating takes so much effort in time. Time, I don't have anymore like when I was in my 20s. How can we make ourselves more excited about dating and take away the stress and anxiety from it being one more thing to do in our already busy day? That's coming from Leslie, who's 46. And right off the jump, I'm going to say, Leslie, I don't think maybe right now is a good time for you to date. It sounds like dating doesn't sound like fun to you, which I get it. Like there are times that it just, you know, life is too complicated or you are still recovering from a breakup or hurt. And you're just not available because dating should be exciting.

Dating should cause a little anxiety and a little bit of stress and a little excitement, a little bit of all these things. And so if dating feels like it is. a chore, if it feels like it's complicated, I think it might be just your particular situation. And you may need some time to heal and work through this. Because if you go into dating, if you go out on a date with somebody and it's not exciting and it's not fun and you think of it as a chore, it's not going to go well. And I think that you're setting yourself up for failure at the very least. And, you know, if your days are busy and you have anxieties and you're not excited about it, just wait, just wait, just wait until you're ready. And that's fine. You don't have to be

ready today. Give yourself some time to get in a headspace where you're looking forward to that anxiety, where you're looking forward to the excitement, who it is that you're going to meet, what adventures you're going to go on, not worried about if it's going to fail, because you have to be optimistic. Especially in chapter two, optimistic is the ingredient that makes a relationship possible. If you're going into it already thinking it's going to fail or it's going to muddy up your busy day, it probably will. All right. Well, Margaret, who's 53, says something that I think a lot of us think about, that my body in my 50s doesn't look like it did when I was younger. I've had two kids. I've had tons of loose skin around my midsection and stretch marks when I was married.

and I wasn't insecure about my body because my husband had seen me when I was fit, thin, pregnant, all of it. Now that I'm back in the dating scene, the anxiety that I have about my body and knowing men my age prefer to date younger is sending me into a spiral. Do men care about loose skin and stretch marks, or should I find a way to tell the guys I date in advance to see how they react? Advice, please. Now, Margaret, this is an interesting way to put it,

because I would often think that it's the other way around that your husband that knew you when you were young. And as you say, they fit and without the things that happen to a body when having kids or whatever else, and they've seen you kind of progress, oftentimes women are more anxious or worried about that man who's seen them, you know, when they were young and that, you know, and seen them until they've gotten more mature versus meeting a guy that didn't know you when you were younger and didn't know you any other way than the way you are now. So I think if you meet a guy now at 53 with all of your perfections and imperfections and all the things that

happen to our bodies and our faces and our everythings, you don't need to tell the guys anything. They know what they see. You don't need to give them warnings. You don't need to give them a heads up or anything else. They can figure it out for themselves. And I think, that you should be confident in the body that you have. And if you're, you know, and if you exude that confidence, that guy is not going to care. Don't get worried about what you think guys look for. If you think they're going to date younger, if you think they're going to not like your, your stretch marks or your blue skin or whatever else it is, then you're already starting behind the gate. So you don't want that. Be confident. Margaret, they're going to love you for the person

that you are, imperfections and all. All right. So Britt, who's 35, says this. I saw a TikTok recently where a man said the bar is quote unquote so low right now for men to do anything for women, that women are really just looking for simple things like kindness. Two questions here. Why is the bar so low in your opinion? And two, whose fault is that that it's so low? Is it the man or the woman's fault? Now, the question is, do I think that the bar is very, very low?

And I'll tell me, Mr. Wright right here thinks that the bar has been lowered. And I'm not sure if that's because I'm a bit older, a bit more mature. And I'm, you know, I'm looking at the dating world. And it does seem as though there is, there is this kind of movement away from kindness and chivalry and acts of kindness. And maybe I just don't see it as often anymore. And, you know, guys, I think, I don't know if it's social media. I don't know if it's just, you know, me being an old fuddy-duddy and looking back, I just think chivalry, if it's not dead, it's certainly wounded in a lot of situations. And I think that there is, you know, if it's the man's fault or the woman's fault, I think men or women are also wanting to be treated so much differently than what I remember. You know, the old days of, you know, holding the door open or, you know, paying the bill every time or all those sorts of things I think might be looked down as old-fashioned. And so I don't know who is at fault for it.

I think that I do see it. I do think that the bar has been lowered in terms of the way that guys treat women kind of early on. And that probably changes, you know, over time. But in terms of kind of the dating world, I think it's, I think it, the bar has been lower to a certain extent. And I don't know if it's just the guy's fault. I think it, you know, I think that women are are also part of this. and because they are expecting to be treated, quote, unquote, equally, which is great. And I'm all for equal treatment or whatever else.

But sometimes that will take away some of these chivalrous things that guys want to do, to show kindness, to show affection, because they're worried about stepping over the line. And, you know, I want to bring in producer Heather on this one. And, you know, she's a self-proclaimed feminist and single right now, but coming out of, you know, some long relationships. What is your take on it, producer Heather? This is just my perspective in my chapter two, but what do you think? I mean, I'm not out there actively dating whatsoever looking.

But you see this. But I do see a lot of this stuff. And I think that the bar is really low. I think that it is twofold. I think that men aren't talking enough to each other about standards and how they're treating women. And I don't think that men are holding other men accountable when they witness bad. behavior or hear bad behavior. I don't think that they actually call out their buddies or their friends about this kind of stuff. And I think that women, unfortunately, allow the bad behavior

to go on for too long. I'm super guilty of this. I'm actually really guilty of allowing bad behavior to continue for too long and not address it and not put my foot down. on stuff. So I think, yeah, I think it's twofold. I think it's both people's problems. And I do feel that we've gotten away from common decency and just, you know, everybody is trying to play it like too cool. Too cool.

Like there is, you know, another you right around the corner. So I don't need to like, you know, do too much. I feel that like my perception. obviously I'm not a man, but my perception of men is that sometimes doing too much and being too vulnerable is perceived as like being a simp or being a wimp or anything like that. And so I feel that there's like a hyper awareness around masculinity right now amongst men and about being as masculine as possible. And for some reason, I think men equate masculinity to sometimes putting women down or keeping women in a spot where they can be dominant.

And I think that that's also something that we're seeing play out in the dating scene right now. Okay. So you agree that it's both the men and the women take some responsibility for it. 100%. But I think that this treating of women with respect and kindness and small acts of chivalry, I think that's oftentimes something that older guys have an advantage on over younger guys. It's a level of confidence. It's a level of experience.

Also vulnerability as well, where guys, you know, in my age, are probably more willing to be a little more vulnerable than, you know, a younger version of myself. So you're saying that that vulnerability came through your chapter one, or do you think you were acting like this early on? and that's partly how you got to your chapter one, was your vulnerability, your openness? No, I think that I recognize that probably not being vulnerable enough and not being mindful enough got me to where I am right now, which is in my chapter two. And so I think that, you know, experience, mistakes, all these things, you know,

are, you know, kind of made me the person that I am, certainly, from, you know, day one until now. But relationship-wise, I think guys that are in their chapter two are probably realizing what are some of the things that got me in this situation. And we go and fix those. You would hope that men out there are doing the work in their chapter two. It begs the question, though, if a man never gets to chapter one, is he still that observant of things that he needs to change? You know, these men, you know, we're seeing a lot of the time now that I think marriage rates and traditional kind of things like that are declassified.

So we're seeing men in their mid-40s that have never been married, never been engaged. And so it begs the question of, do they learn those kinds of things about vulnerability if they've never experienced what you're talking about that you experienced in Chapter 1 that's kind of been eye-opening for you? Yeah. And I think that those, you know, those guys probably are the anomaly in as much as they've, you know, they're not looking for relationship. They're not looking for family, all those sorts of things.

But I think that guys in their chapter two hopefully have learned from, I don't want to say learn from their mistakes, but learn from their experience. And, you know, what, you know, what works, what hasn't worked. And then, you know, as you're going into your, you know, in your chapter two, you're trying to go and not repeat those same, the same mistakes. Yeah. Interesting. But our listeners should write in if their experience is that the bar is super low right there. Yeah. And I want to. I'm also curious in what ways is the bar lower in what capacity? Like what are the things, what are the specific things that make the bar lower? What I see a lot on the internet is that the bar is low in terms of communication that men are not moving the ball forward in terms of, you know, if they're, let's say they're online dating and they match with somebody, they're not doing that forward movement of, now let's say, they're online dating.

and they match with somebody, they're not doing that forward movement of, now let's get a date. Let's do it on this day. I see tons and tons of TikToks of women being like, it's 6 p.m. and we're supposed to have a date tomorrow. Let's see if he actually confirms.

And then they'll do like an hour update the next day. And I see nine out of ten times these guys don't confirm. So these girls don't actually end up going on a date with these men. They leave them hanging. They leave them hanging. They say, we're going to go get drinks on Wednesday at seven, and then they never fully confirm or they never lock it in or they never tell them the location or something. I remember last time I was single, I had a guy say, you know, after our first date, that he wanted to go out again the following week. I think the next day he locked in date and time and then proceeded to not communicate with me for the next couple of days. And I remember, I'm like, okay, so it's Friday. I'm supposed to go out with this guy on Saturday. Haven't really heard anything from him.

And then he waited until Saturday, I want to say, like two hours before we were supposed to meet up, to tell me that he decided he couldn't go out with me anymore because he had decided he was moving to Boston. Oh, he should have to pay like some sort of cancellation fee. You know, like, you know, like, you go to the doctor and you don't show up. Like, if you waste somebody Saturday night, that should be like a $200 penalty. Like that. It should be, but again, we're talking about the bar being low. And this was 10 years ago. I mean, like, I just think that it's rough out there in terms of like, I mean, I haven't gone through chapter one.

And I will not be getting back out onto the wild west of dating apps. it was way too much for me and my mental health to go through that again. But I think that I've experienced it. So I understand what these women are saying and men when they talk about, you know, the communication going stagnant on the apps. You want to take it off the apps. You want to communicate. They don't text. They don't call. They don't, you know, set something. It can be very robotic feeling. And again, it goes back to that previous question that talked about it being, you know, another job. That's what modern day dating can kind of feel like. And I remember the last time I was single that that's how I had to approach it. It was like every Thursday was my date night. And then

if I booked a date on Thursday, it was like I went to a place and got my hair blown out. I had like, I remember then I like picked up like three other hobbies so that I had things to talk about on said dates. Then I would go out every Friday night and every Saturday night, mingling, meeting people, hoping that I would pick up another date for next Thursday. And I mean, I was just out there really pounding the pavement. And I mean, I did it all. I did blind dates. I did setups. I did online dates. I did asking men out in person. I did. You did the asking out. Oh, yeah. I've asked, I have asked men out. I have, um, I have sent drinks over to men. like a way of flirting.

You know, ladies, I think that if you want to give it a try, I think it's actually super low pressure. I don't know why I've heard women say that it's like super scary or whatever. It's like, I've been, I remember I've been at like karaoke pulled over a waitress and been like, that guy over there at the other side of the room is really cute. Is there a ring on the finger? And they'll be like, no. And I'll be like, great. Whatever he's drinking right now, get him another one, put it on my tab. And when you deliver it, you can just point to me. That's super low pressure, ladies, because guess what?

It's then up to him if he wants to come over and thank you for the drink, do that whole thing. You are not then having to go over and be like, did you get the drink? Yes. You have, you have tossed a proverbial ball across. Exactly. They could, the guy could just, you know, sort of raise an arm or a cheers across. if he's not interested.

Which I have had. I have had some guy just like raise his hand and say, thanks so much. I've had a guy come over to the table and say, thank you so much. I was really flattering. I'm in a relationship or whatever. Nice.

Fine. Have a drink. Or you could end up singing islands in the stream together in the karaoke. Or that. I mean, it did backfire. I ended up sending one to a guy once. And then he came over.

He thanked me and then was like, we should go out this week so I can get you a drink. da-da-da-da-da-da, whatever, whatever. So I ended up going out with him. And then it only took one drink for me to find out that the guy hadn't had a job in eight years and was couch-surfing. And I was like, well, no wonder,

he really enjoyed that free drink I sent over. The guy doesn't have a job. He's like, let's get chicken wings with that next time, ma'am. Exactly. So you can't always tell. It's not like a foolproof kind of situation, but it's like, yeah, if the guy is attractive, he's going to enjoy having a drink sent over.

I think it's like a compliment regardless. And I think that, you know, going back to the bar being low, I think that people aren't complimenting each other enough. You know what I mean? It's like if somebody's attractive, handsome, whatever, if there's no ring and there's no girl on the arm, feel free to give a compliment.

You don't have to be creepy about it. Men too. You don't have to be creepy when you give a compliment. but like that's a great, those are great shoes that you're wearing. You know what? I really like that hat that you're wearing. It doesn't have to be like, you have a nice ass. You know what I mean?

Even if they do, you don't have to say it. Exactly. That's the rule. Exactly. I just think that we as a society have really pulled back on being complimentary. And I think I'm not going to get too far into it with like political movements and things like that that have happened in recent years where men act like they're not allowed to say complimentary things.

That's actually not what any of these big movements have been about. It's about if you're my boss, yeah, you shouldn't be saying a compliment or something weird about me. But when we're out in the world and we're engaging in conversation and you're not intoxicated and I'm not like if I had children, if I'm like not with my children and we're just like in an adult environment and, you know, it's respectful. Yes, people, we can give compliments to each other. That's not like something of yesteryear that we're not only.

allowed to do anymore? I feel like, do you feel that way that people have like stopped doing that? So I think the moral of the story is men and women, let's raise the bar back up. Let's be good. Let's be flirty. A win is a win. A win is a win. I don't care what you're saying. Yep, that's me, Cliver Taylor the fourth. You might have seen the skits, the reactions, my journey from basketball to college football, or my career in sports media. Well, somewhere along the way, this platform became bigger than I ever imagined. And now I'm bringing All of that excitement to my brand new podcast, The Clifford Show.

This is a place for raw, unfiltered conversations with some of your favorite athletes, creators, and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated. One week, I'll take you behind the scenes of the biggest moments in sports and entertainment. And the next, we'll talk about life, mental health, purpose, and even music. The Clifford Show isn't just a podcast. It's a space for honest conversations, stories that don't always get told, and for people who are chasing something bigger. So if you've ever supported me

or you're just chasing down a dream, this is right where you need to be. Listen to the Clifford show on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more behind the scenes, follow at Clifford and at TikTok Podcast Network on TikTok. Do you remember when Diana Ross double-tap Little Kim's boobs at the VMAs?

Or when Kanye said that George Bush didn't like black people. I know what you're thinking. What the hell does George Bush got to do with Little Kim? Well, you can find out on the Look Back at it podcast. I'm Sam Jay and I'm Alex English Each episode we pick it here unpack what went down And try to make sense of how we survived it

Including a recent episode with Mark Lamont Hill Waxing all about crack in the 80s To be clear, 84 is big to me Not just because of crack I'm down to talk about crack on day But just so y'all know At this point, Mark, this is the second episode where we've discussed crack

So I'm starting to see that there's a through line We also have AIDS on the table right now So Thank you for finishing that. sentence. I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Really? Yeah. For me, it's one of the most important years

for black people in American history. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. There's two golden rules that any man should live by. Rule one, never mess with a country girl.

You play stupid games, you get stupid prizes. And rule two, never mess with her friends. either. We always say that trust your girlfriends. I'm Anna Sinfield and in this new season of the girlfriends, oh my God, this is the same man. A group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist. I felt like I got hit by a truck. I thought how could this happen to me? The cops didn't seem to care. So they take matters into their own hands. I said, oh hell no. I vowed. I will be his last target. He's going to get what he deserves.

Listen to the girlfriends. Trust me, babe. On the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. In 2023, former Bachelor star Clayton Eckerd found himself at the center of a paternity scandal. The family court hearings that followed revealed glaring inconsistencies in her story. This began a years-long court battle to prove the truth. You doctored this particular test twice in someone's, correct? I doctored the test once.

It took an army of internet detectives to crack the case. I wanted people to be able to see what their tax dollars were being used for. Sunlight's the greatest disinfected. They would uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Gregalespian and Michael Marantini. My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young.

This is Love Trap. Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Ladies and gentlemen, breaking news out of... Maricopa County as Laura Owens has been indicted on fraud charges. This isn't over until justice is served in Arizona. Listen to Love Trapped Podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our last question coming in here is from Susan, who's 57.

This is what she says. I like the opinions you gave in your last episode about finances and relationships. I'm in my second marriage and my husband has three kids from his first marriage. with the youngest about to graduate from college. This is our time to focus and shift into our retirement years, but my husband is talking about financing their youngest child for, quote-unquote, a couple more years. I think it is time for them to fly on their own now that college is over, and it bothers me, how can I explain this to my husband so he understands my point of view?

All right, Susan, this is always going to be the trickiest of conversations, which is how to deal with children from the previous marriage, especially when you've blended a family or even if you're just coming with no kids. It is a very touchy subject. And I'll give you all the warnings. The raising of a child or children is a delicate thing. And to go and to critique any part of that, I think, is going to be something that you're going to want to deal with.

set with sensitivity. Now, you have a perspective here because it's, you know, it sounds like you guys have been married for a while. You guys are looking into your next, not your next chapter in terms of marriage, but next chapter in terms of life, you're getting into retirement. And there is some fiduciary responsibility that you both need to have when doing that. And if you thought that the, you know, that you were, you were saving this much and this is going to be your plan. And now that changes dramatically. Of course, Susan, you are going to have a perspective on that. And you're going to have a perspective on that. And you're going to have an opinion and you're going to have a right to have that. But be careful to make sure that you're not overstepping in terms of making the guy feel like he has to prioritize child or wife.

It's a very delicate, delicate relationship. And I would just, I wouldn't want there to be something that explodes because of it. I think you should certainly voice your opinion and your perspective. on it, but do it gently. Do it knowing that this is your husband's youngest child. This is the last, you know, the last child he's raising here and, and maybe come up with a compromise that allows you guys both to achieve your goals. His of being a good father to his youngest and you to make sure that the, you know, that your retirement, that the goals that you've been setting financially are being met and you're not at risk of losing.

something because of overspending on a category that you hadn't planned on. And that's, I think, a big part of it is that planning and why you should talk about finances is because if something comes along that you haven't talked about, then who's right or who's wrong? Get all that stuff on the table. Talk about your finances. Talk about your future together. It is the easiest way to try and sidestep, which could be a delicate familial situation. All right, guys, thank you so much. Keep your questions coming. I'm here to give you the real things men think about. So send us an email or leave a voicemail.

And if you want to get in contact with us, all our information is in the show notes. Check us out on social media and follow us. I do part two, an IHeart radio podcast, where falling in love is the main objective. A win is a win. A win is a win. I don't care what I'm saying.

Yep, that's me. Clifford Taylor the 4th. You might have seen the skits, my basketball and college football journey or my career in sports media. Well, now I'm bringing all of that excitement to my brand new podcast, The Clifford Show. This is a place for raw,

unfilled of conversations with athletes, creators, and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated. So let's get to it. Listen to The Clifford show on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more behind the scenes, follow at Clifford and at TikTok podcast network on TikTok.

On the Look Back at a podcast. From 1979, that was a big moment for me. 84 was big to me. I'm Sam J. And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick a year, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. With our friends, fellow comedians, and favorite authors.

Like Mark Lamont Hill on the 80s. 84 was a wild year. It was a wild year. I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. When a group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist, they take matters into their own hands.

I vowed, I will be his last target. He is not going to get away with this. He's going to get what he deserves. We always say that trust your girlfriends. Listen to the girlfriends. Trust me, babe, on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I got you. In 2023, Bachelor star Clayton Eckerd was accused of fathering twins.

But the pregnancy appeared to be a hoax. You doctored this particular test twice in so much, correct? I doctored the test ones. It took an army of internet detectives to uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Greg, a lesbian. Michael Mancini. My mind was blown.

I'm Stephanie Young. This is love trapped. Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.