The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Why I Do Part 2 Is Golden with Joan Vassos

Episode Date: March 5, 2025

“Golden Bachelorette” Joan Vassos explains to Thelma & Louise why long-distance marriage can work when it’s your “I Do, Part 2”.Despite her closeness with her children, she did not get their permission for this…And the man from her show she calls a “playboy” and why she won’t set him up. Email us at: [e-mail] or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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wherever you get your podcasts it's i do part two and we're thelman louise your your favorite besties back at it to have a great conversation today about love and loss and chapter two. Our guest today is someone we all fell in love with when she opened herself up to love again on The Golden Bachelor and then when she starred in the Golden Bachelorette. We can't wait to talk with her today. Please welcome Joan Vossos to the podcast. Welcome.

Thanks for having me. Hi, Joan. Hi. How are you guys? Thank you for wanting me to be on your podcast. So I appreciate it. We're so excited. And I have to ask you a question that's totally unrelated to anything that we're talking about today.

But it's always intrigued me. The clothes. I mean, how did you figure out your wardrobe for the bachelor and bachelorette? Because I feel like you're in evening gowns practically every night. I mean, did you have to hire a stylist? Do you just have a naturally good sense of style? How did you approach that? And then I'll get into the meat of it.

But I had to ask you. Well, then we need to ask her about her arms. Because let's be real. Her body is ridiculous. Oh, God, no, it's not. But thank you for saying that. Good lighting, I think. So for the Golden Bachelor, I had to do all my own clothes.

And you could see that they weren't anywhere near as Golden Bachelorette, as good as Golden Bachelorette. So Golden Bachelorette, you do all your own clothes. You have to bring all your own evening gowns and everything you wear every day is yours. And then if you get to be the lead in the show, so when I was the Golden Bachelorette, you have a stylist. His name is Carrie Fetman. He is a genius. You go like three or four days before you start filming or maybe even a week before he start filming and you go and he has 30 racks of clothes, at least 30 racks.

He has hundreds of dresses and hundreds of outfits and they're all gorgeous and you have conversations with them before you arrive so he knows what your style is and what like your colors are and all that. And then you just spend three full days like eight to 10 hour days trying on clothing and then you kind of narrow it down like, you know, he'll say you're going to 10 evening gowns and so you try on all the evening gowns and you narrow it down to the 10 and then he alters them so they are like made for your body so it is like such a treat to have a stylist now I have to go back and be my own boring you know dress like as you can see I have to keep any of the

clothes any of your kind of greatest hits so I've heard through the great fine that you get to pick some of the outfits that you want to keep but so far I don't have any of the clothes and I'd really like to have some of them. Yeah, I'm hoping, I'm keeping my fingers pressed, but maybe I get something, an outfit or two. I know that a lot of the evening gowns came from Randy Rom, the designer in New York that was talking about. And so I think they go back to her. So they are kind of like borrowed. They're not, they don't belong to the show. They're really expensive. She does like really big, like she does Beyonce and, you know, really big stars. You wore them well. I got to wear them. You made her look good. I think everybody wears those

well. Thank you for indulging me. It sounds like a total Cinderella moment. Oh, my God. It was my favorite part of the show, I swear to go. Other than finding chalk. Not Chuck. That was crazy. Sorry, Chuck. Okay, well, so now moving on, Joan, we loved watching you in the Golden Bachelor and the Golden Bachelorette. But for those listeners who may not be familiar with your story, tell us a little bit about your chapter one. Okay, chapter one. So when I was married to John. So I met John when I was in college. We dated on and off kind of throughout like a three-year period. And then when we both graduated from college, we were kind of like in the good place, you know, ready to be ready to date more seriously. And we did. And we got engaged, we got married. We did all the normal things that, you know, married couples do. We had

jobs and we built a house. And we, you know, kind of started our life together. We had four kids, we had four kids in six years. So we, you know, we were, you know, intimately involved in raising our kids and doing sports. And the community. Yeah. Yeah. And which is when I kind of loved. Like, I really miss those years still, you know, again, because I loved kind of raising my kids, John and I raising our kids with a bunch of other parents that were raising their kids. And it was like a big community effort. And everybody says, oh, we're going to have pizza tonight or we're going to go to the baseball game. You know, our kids are playing and we're going to sit on the sidelines. And they were just such great bonding moments of raising our kids together. And I miss that,

like, community that we had. So then, you know, my kids kind of grew up. They all went off to college and then now have all kind of started their own lives. When my youngest child was in college, he was a junior in college, John was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. And it was kind of right as we were thinking about like our second chapter of our lives, like traveling and, you know, maybe buying a second home someplace. And, you know, you kind of finally get to the age where you have the time and you have, you know, kind of maybe a little more extra money and you can do fun, you know, more fun things or different things, and right when we were getting to that point in our lives is when John got really, really sick. So he survived the cancer for about two years, but it was while he was in

treatment the whole time. We were traveling back and forth to M.D. Anderson, trying to get him to be part of a trial. None of, we never found a trial that he was eligible for. We never, the chemo really didn't work all that well. And then he did radiation. And eventually, after almost two years, he passed away of pancreatic cancer. I'm so sorry. That's so hard. That's, that's awful. And it's a terrible cancer. So those two years that he was alive, most of those years weren't really, weren't very good. He was in a lot of pain. So it was a horrible way to die. And he left, you know, kind of right at the part of our life where we were going to start really having fun and go back to being a couple, not just parents that, you know, two or four kids. So I felt like my life had kind of ended. Like my whole future that I was planning with just. John was all of a sudden like this black hole. There was no future. I didn't have a person to spend it with. I didn't really want to. You know, I just was kind of in the mode of just staying alive and trying to be strong for my kids. You try to like support them as well as I could. And, you know, I would see them and I was the happy person. And, you know, we got, we're getting through this and we're a great family. And then I would go up to my bedroom and I would cry. And that took me about two years to get through kind of that phase of life to then look and say, okay, well, maybe I can't have a future. I didn't feel like I could in the beginning, but then I thought, you know, why am I at the age of 59 saying that I can't have a second chance at love? Because, you know, I was married to John

for 32 years. What tells me that I can't have somebody else for 32 years? At that age, I possibly could. And so I decided that I needed to take action. And I did some dating apps like everybody does. You know, that's like the widest net. I am so scared of those dating apps. and were there friends that were pushing you to do it or was it something your kids were involved with saying mom it's time to do that or did you and john have those conversations that he wanted you to have another kind of chapter to yeah kind of all the above actually yeah so right before he passed away about three days before he passed away i remember him calling me over to the soap and he's like come come sit next to me come sit next me he was kind of in and out of sleep he was really

sleeping he was pretty well drugged and he said we have a great light together and I want you to be happy again. And he said, I want you to find somebody else. And I was in total denial. It's hard to believe I was because he went from 120 pounds to like 110 pounds. And I still looked at him and thought he was going to live. And I said, no. I said, I am not having this conversation with you.

I said, you are not leaving me. And he's like, mm-hmm, all right. Oh, Joe. And it was the best gift he could have given me because I would have had a really, really hard time doing this if I didn't have his blessing. In fact, I probably wouldn't be here today because, but he did this, you know, he gave this to me and I didn't know it at the time and I didn't really even think about it for a lot of months, probably well into the second year after he had passed away. And it gave me this freedom. It was almost like permission, was a little bit of

permission almost, right? Absolutely once. Yeah, absolutely. And like I said, I wouldn't have done this if I hadn't gotten that. He was also a person that lived really big. He lived life to the fullest. Like, everything he did was epic. You never went on like a normal vacation. You went to the best hotel and you rented like every boat and every, you know, like water toy you could rent and like everything was big.

Everything was huge. We go to a restaurant, just a normal restaurant. He orders every dessert on the menu just because we wanted to try it all. What a what a life spirit. But that's so. It was such a fun life. So brave of you. And he's probably looking from above.

and he's happy and all that. But it's so brave and it's, I'm so happy for you that you're getting this again. Are your kids, are they, how, were they supportive of you? Do they want to see you have another life? I mean, you have four kids. I'm sure there was conflicting feelings for all of them. Kind of, um, so they wanted me happy, absolutely. But I think the whole process of like them knowing I was dating wasn't really particularly

comfortable but you know at this point they're all adults so it's not like i have kids at home that are worried you know that i'm going to bring a man home you know into their home or something like that that wasn't a worry and they wanted me to be happy i just don't think they really wanted the details of it they didn't really want to know a lot about relationships and stuff like that so when i was doing online dating that was easy you know i'd be like i'm going on a date tonight or maybe i wouldn't even tell them whatever and i didn't talk about the men you know really very often when i told them that i had filled out the application to go on golden vouchers was sorry to end up was that your to go on the show, or was that a friend?

So tell us about that. That's amazing. So I was out to dinner with a friend. We were sitting at the bar, and it was right at about the two-year mark. So John had been gone for about two years. The first year, you know, people say, oh, after the first year, you'll start feeling better. Not true. I felt like crap.

In fact, I felt worse the second year. It kind of all hit me. Like, this is my life. This, like, what the, you know, like, what the heck happened? And so that second year was really hard. And I was getting to the end of that second year. And I was starting to feel lonely before I was just kind of numb. And then I started feeling lonely and feeling like I wasn't part of a couple,

which is really hard in a world of couples. And I had gone from being, you know, this, you know, John and I had gone from being a couple of friends with, a lot of couple friends. We did a lot with our couple friends to me being a single. And then all of a sudden I was excluded from all kinds of social things because I was a single. So I was starting to feel all.

We're familiar with that. You get it, right? and it's so weird. It's hard. Yeah, it really is. And I was like alone on Singles Island and I hated it. And I wanted, I was starting to feel like I wanted to be a couple again, mainly because of the, like I missed doing the things with other couples. Hola, it's Honey German.

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Listen to the new season of Grasasasas Come Again as part of my Cultura podcast network on the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. A foot washed up. shoe with some bones in it. They had no idea who it was. Most everything was burned up pretty good from the fire that not a whole lot was salvageable. These are the coldest of cold cases, but everything is about to change.

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And you'll meet the team behind the scenes at Othrum, the Houston Lab that takes on the most hopeless cases to finally solve the unsolvable. Listen to America's Crime Lab on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Super Secret Festi Club Podcasts, Season 4 is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy cheesement. Terrible love advice.

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And I'm Maya. In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heart breaks, men, and of course, our favorite secrets. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club as a part of the Mycultura podcast network available on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth? Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced. He said, you are a number, a New York State number, and we own you. Shock incarceration, also known as boot camps, are short-term, highly regimented correctional programs

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your podcast. Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness, the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro. And these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories

I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets. With over 37 million downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you, stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio. app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Question. You mentioned that you met your husband, you met John in college.

So you really, I mean, you never really experienced dating. You fell in love young and kind of, it sounds like, grew up with John. So first time in 30 years that not only had you been through really a tragedy, but you also had to figure out, like, what that looked to date. And so, I mean, what were you feeling at the time and how did you approach that or did you have help, you know? Yeah, so weird, right? I mean, I had this idea that I would rather meet somebody, like, organically. So I had this new thing that I would do. I meet friends out for dinner and I have tons of friends. So I would be out a lot. And, you know, they kind of, like a lot of them kind of made me go out in the beginning. And they're like,

you can't sit at home. You need to get out. You need to get out. And that kind of became like my life, me going out with my friends, you know, most evenings every week. So, and I would always go, you used to go sit at a table and I would say, let's sit at the bar now because I thought it opened to me up to more people. That's what we do. We did it yesterday. It's so fun. Just the two of us, though. It just, and I, and it's fun going out with a girlfriend because a lot of times people will engage you with talking. And sometimes it's just another couple, a guy, a man and a woman, like a husband and wife. But, you know, you'd never know, like when you're out, if that husband and wife, have a friend or like the more that you're out there and the more

accessible you are. So you need to not go sit at a table where no one's going to come up to you. You need to sit at like the bar. Or it doesn't just drop out of the sky, right? Like you have to put it out there. Absolutely. Totally agree with you on that one. So I, we were out. We were sitting at a local restaurant, a bar, like actually right across the street from a house where I go off and like I know the bartender and other people there. So it's like a really comfortable place to me for me. And I said to my friend, you know, I really feel like I'm ready to maybe start dating and kind of in my, I thought it in my head, my heart didn't really feel that way yet, but my head definitely knew that I wasn't getting any younger, I wasn't getting any prettier, I wasn't getting any more fun, and that they were, there could be guys out there that are feeling the same way, maybe closer to my age or whatever. And I thought, I felt like I needed to get out there. So like, I was saying that to my head, but I said to her, I go, look around this restaurant. I go, everybody here is a couple. And she's like, yeah, they are. I go, how am I ever going to meet? somebody. I really want to meet somebody organically. I don't want to do dating apps. I want to like be at a wedding or be out of bar like this or at a restaurant or meet somebody at the grocery

store. You both reach for the tomato or, you know, some romantic story like that. But I was like, it hasn't happened yet and I don't feel like it's going to happen. And she's like, you're going to have to do dating apps. And I was like, oh. Do you live in a small, do you live in a small community where most people are married? Were people thinking to set you up? So I kind of put it out there that I was ready to be set up and people were like, oh, you're not going to like any of the guys I know that are single or, look, I don't know anybody single. So, like, people weren't particularly wanting to set me up. They didn't think that I would be interested in the people that we knew that were single. So, but I don't live in a small community. I live right outside of Washington, D.C. I live actually right in the suburbs of a big city. So it's not like there shouldn't have been a lot of people out there, but I guess my friends just didn't know them. Once again, couples hang out with couples. You also probably wanted the exercise of dating, right? I mean, it's not like you were like, I need to find my Mr. Perfect. It's like, yeah, you probably just didn't even know what it was like to date. So it was more about like exercising the muscle, right? But she's also good at a, she's also great at a

relationship, obviously. So I'm sure that that felt something that would be another destination that you would want in your life potentially. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love, like I said, being part of a couple. And I love the give and take and I love the, I love going out with somebody. I I love sitting at home and watching a Netflix. Like, I like having my person. It's just like I had it for so many years of my life. I didn't really know how to do it without having somebody. Like you said, I was, you know, we married kind of young.

You know, we started dating when we were in college. I dated while I was in college, but like it's college dating. That's not like serious dating. I started dating seriously right out of college was John. So I never really had a long-term relationship with anybody other than John. So I did need the practice a lot. And so I came home from that restaurant that night thinking I got to go on a dating app

and I turned my TV on and I'm a Bachelor watcher and it was a Bachelor night and I turned my TV on to watch The Bachelor and the first commercial that came up said we are taking casting calls for a new series called The Golden Bachelor. Oh my God. That's a message from the universe directly to you.

That's exactly what I said. Literally like a lightning ball. The universe is speaking to me. And so I filled that application out and I did a really lousy job because I was on my phone, and I had had two glasses of wine, and I can't see or type when I, after I got any wine. And there was no chat GPT then.

No, there wasn't. And I needed it. No, no, no, no. So I filled out, like, I don't know, it was a long application, like 90 questions. It was really, really, really long. I filled out about half of it. I did the part where you need to send, you know, like your Instagram and your social media stuff, which I don't think I had any followers on Instagram.

I'm going to be positive I had it, but I sent whatever I had. So you were the first star, really, of Golden Bachelette. did you honestly think that there was a reality or potential that you could find a forever love on the show? Like, if so, and at what moment did you think to yourself, oh, my God, this could really work for me. This could happen. So it kind of became a little bit of reality when I was on Golden Bachelor, not necessarily

because of Gary. I mean, he was fine, but I didn't think he was a match for me. But when I went on my one-in-one date with him, I felt, like I could picture it finally like picture actually being with another person and I hadn't up until that point I was even on the show filming and still was thinking

I don't picture myself with anybody other than John and after I went on my date with Gary even though I knew he wasn't for me and I left the next day so that was the day I laughed to go home to my daughter I all of a sudden like a switch flipped and I felt like I could picture a life with somebody else and I think part of it was

just being with Gary, but being with the other 21 other women and hearing them, their stories and seeing how much fun they're having dating and, you know, their stories about finding love again. It made me want it more and think it was possible more because I'm like, these smart women that I really, really respect and, you know, kind of grid a lot. A lot of them are my really, really good friends now, were doing it. And it gave me faith that if they were doing it, why did I think that it wasn't going to work for me? So it kind of like the switch kind of clip. So when I went on Golden, but when I became the Golden Bachelorette and I started that filming, I actually was feeling pretty positive about it, but I was worried because I hadn't met

the men yet. And I was like, I don't know what they're casting for me, even though I know the producers pretty well because I'd done Golden Bachelor. And over like that time of them, you know, interviewing me and kind of selecting me and going through that whole process to become the Golden Bachelorette. I really spoke to them a lot. And they, I felt like they knew me pretty well, but I had no idea who was going to apply for this because I didn't know if there were going to be a bunch of really outgoing men that wanted to be out there and wanted to date on national TV. I don't know if there's a big group of those people because most men I know would be like, yeah, no thanks. I'm not going to do that on national TV. That's like not very dignified. I just felt like they

wouldn't be open to being open and being vulnerable and talking about their feelings. And that certainly is required in this process. So I thought maybe they're not going to have a lot of men. So I was really were the night of the limousines entering, I was like, okay, this is it. I got to see if, like, there was anybody good here. And I felt pretty soon after the first couple of limousines came that this could be, this could work out. And how did you, obviously you knew you were going on the golden bachelorette and you'd already done the golden bachelor. But back to your kids, I think I read an article recently that talked about how you had four kids. And two of them kind of had, they had differing opinions on you dating and especially doing it in the limelight in front of the national television.

So how much did you seek input, permission from them, and really involve them in this process? Probably input, not permission. Because I'm not sure if they would ever not give me permission because they would never be like that selfish. And they knew, you know, if I really wanted to do it, they would. want that for me. But I did really want their input because I wanted to respect their privacy because it was me going on this journey, not them. And so I wanted to make sure I didn't embarrass them. I didn't reveal anything about them that they didn't want revealed because this was my journey, not theirs. So I had conversations. I had a lot of conversations with my kids.

And I had two that thought it was really kind of cool and fun. And my thought was, and I actually had this conversation with a friend of mine, I said, God, I don't know if I'm, I want to do this. I'm afraid that, like, in some way, it's not respecting John's memory. It's not honoring John by going out and doing something this kind of, it's almost salacious, you know, it's a little, you know, a little sorted maybe or something. You know, I didn't feel that way, but I was afraid that other people did. And I kind of knew how I was going to do this process and that I was going to be dignified. I was going to be embarrassing. But I just didn't want, like, to embarrass my kids. One of the things that Thelma and I really took away was the way you handled those

overnight dates that you didn't do. I mean, it was so elegant and so classy and respect. I mean, it was literally probably my biggest takeaway was how you handle that. It was amazing. Thank you. I put a lot of thought in that because I didn't think it was going to be really popular with the producers. I mean, that's part of the show. Or the guys. Or the guys. Or the guys. Who are the guys? There's that too. But I felt like I had to do what was right for me. And there's no, in no universe can I ever imagine sleeping with three guys in the same week.

Especially with your kids and your friends and your community watching the show. Well, 100%. I agree with that. And by the way, I would have handled it the same way. And as, as, you know, Louise indicated, I thought you were stellar. And you were, you handled it head on. You were direct. vulnerable and you're amazing.

Honest and so transparent. Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness, the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro. And these are just a few of the profound and powerful

stories, I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets. With over 37 million downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you, stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season. of Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Janica Lopez, and in the new season of the Overcover podcast, I'm taking you on an exciting journey of self-reflection. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship?

Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? I wanted to be successful on my own, not just because of who my mom is. Like, I think, I feel. I felt like I needed to be better or work twice as hard as she did. Join me for conversations about healing and growth. Life is freaking hard. And growth doesn't happen in comfort. It happened in motion, even when you're hurting. All from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen.

Honestly, these are going to come out so freaking amazing. Be a part of my new chapter and listen to the new season of the Overcomfit podcast as part of the MyCultura podcast network on the IHeartRadio app. Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. Hola, it's HoneyGerman. And my podcast, Grasias Come Again, is back. This season, we're going even deeper into the world of music and entertainment

with raw and honest conversations with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities. You didn't have to audition? No, I didn't audition. I haven't audition in like over 25 years. Oh, wow. That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah.

We've got some of the biggest actors, musicians, content creators, and culture shows. Shifters, sharing their real stories of failure and success. You were destined to be a start. We talk all about what's viral and trending with a little bit of chisement, a lot of laughs, and those amazing vivas you've come to expect. And, of course, we'll explore deeper topics dealing with identity, struggles, and all the issues affecting our Latin community.

You feel like you get a little whitewash because you have to do the code switching? I won't say whitewash because at the end of the day, you know what I'm me? Yeah. But the whole pretending and cold, you know, it takes a toll on you. Listen to the new season of Grasas Has Come Again as part of My Cultura Podcast Network On the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. The Super Secret Festi Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in.

That means more juicy chisement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no, we're not doing that this season. Oh, well, this season we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it. Get in here! Today we have a very special guest with us.

Our new super secret bestie is The Diva of the People. The Diva of the People. I'm just like text your ex. My theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it. Go and figure it out for yourself. That's us. That's us. My name is Curley.

And I'm Maya. In each episode, we'll talk about love. friendship, heartbreaks, men, and of course, our favorite secrets. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club as a part of the Michael Tura podcast network available on the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth? Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced.

He said, you are a number. a New York State number, and we own you. Shock incarceration, also known as boot camps, are short-term, highly regimented correctional programs that mimic military basic training. These programs aim to provide a shock of prison life, emphasizing strict discipline, physical training, hard labor, and rehabilitation programs.

Mark had one chance to complete this program and had no idea of the hell awaiting him the next six months. The first night was so overwhelming, and you don't know who's next to you. And we didn't know what to expect in the morning. Nobody tells you anything. Listen to shock incarceration on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Question for you. Was there any concern?

Because obviously, you had, I mean, being with the person for 31 years, right? And being interested, I mean, there's. a level of comfort there, were you at all concerned that this was your opportunity to be with these men? And were you concerned at all about intimacy? I don't, you know, was that a priority? Obviously, not to that level, but you know what I'm saying? Absolutely. So like you said, you know, it was going to be very weird and, you know, kind of out of my comfort zone. Again, like dating was out of my comfort zone. I, you know, kind of did that. But getting to that end, you think, okay, there's obviously a physical component. I mean, and it's certainly a message that I wanted out there, honestly. I didn't want,

like, this was a show about people dating in their, you know, second half of their life. And so, like, I think addressing intimacy part of it is important because I don't want people to think that, like, that's not an important part of my relationship or relationship at this age. We know it is, right? I mean, it's certainly, like, it's certainly something that I wanted, but I didn't want to do it on national TV. And I think there's things that you can tell about, your attraction to a person that doesn't have to take it all the way to the end. So, I mean, kissing is, you know, really important.

And, you know, I feel like there's more, there's intimate moments that don't require you, like having sex at somebody. And so, I mean, like, I knew that I was only going to have, you know, a physical relationship with one person if I ended up with somebody. And, you know, I didn't necessarily know I was going to end up with somebody.

But I knew that that wasn't going to be on the table for, until the end, until I was either engaged, or the show is over, and I had just one person left, whether engaged or not. And, like, I was not going to do it before that. It just didn't feel right to me. It's just not my, it's just not the way I've ever operated. It's interesting because it's, it's, you get off the show and all of a sudden, you're engaged. And so in addition to the, you know, kind of physical step, there's so much to learn

about somebody. And you guys have, you know, 50 years of life experiences completely separate. that you really need to see if kind of your, obviously you've learned that your core values are aligned, but there is such a learning curve to like really to see and to almost undo other like kind of behaviors and different things that you navigated for so long with John. It's a big, it's a big thing. So it was kind of like getting off the show. And then I would assume you're looking at each other and you're like, where did we start?

Exactly what happened. hilarious. So you do, you take like this leap of faith. You really do. You say, okay, you know, like there's so many really good things. And like I said from the very beginning, I don't need to be engaged at this end of this process. I want to leave this show with a significant one person that I want to explore how, you know, our lives would work together or that we would work together. But I did feel pretty strongly about chalk. I did feel like I was in love with them. And, you know, I thought he might actually propose to me. And he did. And I had. And I had. had in my mind that I would say yes, that I was going to take this leap of faith. I don't have to,

I don't have to marry him, but it would be nice to leave this process with the real commitment. And so I said yes, obviously, when he asked me to marry him. And then we went back, we were staying on a ship and we went back to the ship. And we went into, he was in a suite. We were both in sweet. So I went down to his suite. I changed my clothes, got on my evening gown, went down to his suite and he had a bottle of wine there in two glasses and he poured him. And he goes, so tell me about yourself. were you nervous joan i would have been nervous yes i was i've engaged in this person i you're like i need cocktails liquid courage i did i need liquid courage it was like one o'clock in the afternoon and i'm we drank in two whole bottles of wine i think and we really just sat there and

got to know each other which talked about kids we talked about marriages we talked about things that we talked about a little bit on this show but once again i didn't want to reveal things about my kids or you know parts of my life that would embarrass my kids or not you know i wouldn't one on TV. And he was the same way. So it was finally our chance to just be free and open and talk about whatever we wanted. But we were really lucky because Bachelor does a really good job of fostering your relationship during those months where you're not public yet. So you, you know, you finish filming and you have like three months before the finale. And they, you know, they get that you need to like, you know, date kind of. You need to be with each other and figure out.

So we had these, they're called happy couple visits and we had five of them. which is more than anybody has ever had. It's like conjugal visits in jail. It's like going to jail and like, you know, having the room. But instead it's in a beautiful home, it's in these beautiful Airbnbs in L.A. And you have a pool and a tennis court. And some of them.

So it's lovely. And they give you food. You say, we're going to cook and they'll do your grocery shopping for you. And they just give you time to be together. And actually, and that first meeting was weird also because we hadn't been together in like three weeks because we'd stopped filming,

but we, you know, there was time. There was a chunk of time where we couldn't see each other for like three weeks. And then we finally went on our first happy couple, you know, weekend, which is like a four-day weekend. And I remember I got to the house before chalk and I was like, this is so awkward. Like he's just going to come. I haven't seen him. I hardly know the guy. But you do look good on FaceTime.

So hopefully you guys FaceTime regularly. We did a little bit. We talked a lot. We didn't FaceTime quite as much because he, you know, was people would be working. I'd be like at my car or whatever. For some reason we didn't FaceTime all that much. but we talked like five times a day. So we certainly were getting to know each other really well.

But we were both super nervous coming into that house. And he, I got there first. He got there about an hour later. And he walked in with the suitcase and he comes in. And he gives me a kiss. And we were right back where we were before. So like it was just like we didn't skip a beat. We were right back kind of to where we were when we left when we were in love.

And we, you know, we're, you know, figuring each other out. We got to that point. And then every visit after that, and I said we had five, every time it was better and better and better. We became more solid. We knew each other better. But we still hadn't dated out like in the real world. So we, you know, we dated in like a bubble. So we finally, you know, after the finale started to go, you know, got to go out.

We went to New York City right at the finale and spent a week there. And then he came to my home and we spent time here, met some of my friends and, you know, spent time with my family. and, you know, now we've just kind of, we kind of moved back. We worked backwards. We got engaged. You guys have a rhythm. And do you feel that when you have introduced him to your couple's friends or the kids, like are they open and warm, are they judgmental?

Do you feel nervous? Do you feel uncomfortable? Like, how does that play out when you're bringing him into your world, which was obviously a world with John for so long? Yeah. It was a little nerve-wracking. And, you know, we happened, our finale happened to have, happened to occur right before Thanksgiving. So it was like the second week in November was when we had

the finale. And we made plans for our families to be together for Thanksgiving. So that was really nice of him because he usually does something else with his family for Thanksgiving. And his kids said they would come, you know, to my house, which was really nice. So both his kids came to my house and they stayed here along with, you know, chalk obviously was here. And we kind of merge the families in a really kind of busy weekend where there's a lot of other family involved. And it wasn't just are two families. I have a big extended family and I wanted to respect that, you know, it was actually most of the people that we get together with for Thanksgiving is John's family. So I didn't want to change that for my kids or I'm still very, very, very, very close to my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law.

I mean, they were part of my life for like almost, you know, almost my whole life, honestly. She raised, she raised you. Yeah, kind of. Like she was, yeah, I was like 20 when we met. So how did that, how did that go? I mean, was it challenging? Was it, what did that look like? It was just chaotic, honestly. My daughter hosted it at her house, and so we all went there. So we had a couple days here, and then Thanksgiving occurs, and we all go over to her house, and there was like 40 people.

And it was chaotic, and everybody wanted to meet Chalk and his kids. And it was exhausting, to be totally honest. It was a really, really hard way to do it. We did it all at once. It's done now. Now everybody's met, everybody. But it wasn't fun for me at all. I was nervous.

I would have been nervous on edge too the whole time. And we started at like 3 o'clock and by 8 o'clock I was freaking exhausted. I was like, we got to go and they felt the same way. I think we were all in bed by 9 o'clock that night. It was just a long, hard day. It's an emotional day also because everybody, it's like there's this big pink elephant in the room like he's not John. Yeah.

And like we all see it. So like he's now like stepping, you know, stepping into the role of being my person. And it's hard for everybody to accept that. It was hard for me to even present it. So that was an uncomfortable day. Did you debrief with your children? Did you debrief with your children afterwards? I think we kind of had that conversation about that being, you know, like a little bit of a weird day. Our kids happen to get along really well together, though, so it's kind of fun. So the next day I had made plans for us to go to a local brewery, which is really fun. And they They had these big things.

They had these yurts where you can rent. Oh, I like yurt. That's fun. Oh, my God. They're so fun. And they had big, you know, fire pits. And it was in a town that I grew up in. So I know everybody there.

And we went there. And that day was fun. That day was very social. Well, the pressure was almost off. It was like beyond. Do you feel that the fact that both you and chalk have experienced grief and lost partners, that that gave you both a deeper understanding and a company. comfort level, which was created more of a connection.

Yeah. So I think that when you go through a loss like that, that the little things become less important and you realize that. And maybe, you know, part of that is probably maturity also, that just naturally that would have happened. But you look at like the small crap. And it just doesn't matter because you realize how short life is. And you don't realize it until you like come face.

face with mortality. And that doesn't happen until, you know, a loved one dies. If you die or a love one dies, that's the only time when you actually face it, like, with somebody. Like, I, you know, I faced mortality with John and as he died and chalk did the same thing with Kathy. So, um, you have a different look at life, to be honest. It's more fragile and more valuable. My best friend died of cancer over the pandemic and he has fallen in love with a widow who lost her husband suddenly in an auto accident and their relationship is unbelievable to watch. Yeah, you value life and you value like your moment so much more and easily. The podcast, Grasas Come Again, is back.

This season, we're going even deeper into the world of music and entertainment, with raw and honest conversations with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities. You didn't have to audition? No, I didn't audition. I haven't auditioned in, like, over 25 years. Oh, wow. That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah.

We've got some of the biggest actors, musicians, content creators, and culture shifters, sharing their real stories of failure and success. I feel like this is my destiny. You were destined to be. A start. We talk all about what's viral and trending with a little bit of chisement, a lot of laughs, and those amazing vibras you've come to expect. And, of course, we'll explore deeper topics dealing with identity, struggles,

and all the issues affecting our Latin community. You feel like you get a little whitewash because you have to do the code switching? I won't say whitewash because at the end of the day, you know, I'm me. But the whole pretending and code, you know, it takes a toll on you. Listen to the new season of Grasasas Come Again as part of My Cultura podcast network on the IHart Radio, app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth?

Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced. He said, you are a number, a New York state number, and we own you. Shock incarceration, also known as boot camps, are short-term, highly regimented correctional programs that mimic military basic training. These programs aim to provide a shock of prison life, emphasizing strict discipline, physical training, hard labor, and rehabilitation programs. Mark had one chance to complete this program and had no idea of the hell awaiting him the next six months.

The first night was so overwhelming, and you don't know who's next to you. And we didn't know what to expect in the morning. Nobody tells you anything. Listen to shock incarceration on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Janica Lopez, and in the new season of the Overcover podcast, I'm taking you on an exciting journey of self-reflection. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time?

I wanted to be successful on my own, not just because of who my mom is. Like, I felt like I needed to be better or work twice as hard as she did. Join me for conversations about healing and growth. Life is freaking hard. And growth doesn't happen in comfort. It happens in motion, even when you're hurting. All from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen. Honestly, these are going to come out so freaking amazing.

Be a part of my new chapter and listen to the new season of the Overcomper podcast as part of the MyCultura podcast network on the IHHHHHH Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. A foot washed up a shoe with some bones in it. They had no idea who it was. Most everything was burned up pretty good from the fire that not a whole lot was salvageable. These are the coldest of cold cases, but everything is about to change. Every case that is a cold case that has DNA. Right now in a backlog will be identified in our lifetime.

A small lab in Texas is cracking the code on DNA. Using new scientific tools, they're finding clues in evidence so tiny you might just miss it. He never thought he was going to get caught, and I just looked at my computer screen. I was just like, ah, gotcha. On America's Crime Lab, we'll learn about victims and survivors, and you'll meet the team behind the scenes at Othrum, the Houston Lab that takes on the most hopeless cases, to finally solve the unsolvable. Listen to America's Crime Lab on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness, the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro. And these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories. I'll be on our 12th season of Family Secrets. With over 37 million downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you,

stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So, Joan, though, I mean, it's so fun to watch you and Chalk, and you both have that sparkle in your eye, and it just seems like you really, really click. But now that you're, you know, there's no more cameras rolling, all the rest, and you're doing this long-distance relationship, like, what are the challenges that come with that? and how are you navigating kind of the distance

and trying to figure out, do we move forward? Well, maybe she's moving to Kansas. Are you? I'm not moving to New York. I thought we were moving to New York. I thought we were meeting in New York in a sexy pad and having fun there. That is true.

We are doing that. We're trying to find a place, but it's really, really hard to find something in New York, to be honest. They just disappear like the minute they come in the market, they're gone. So that's been a little bit of a challenge. We're still working on that,

and it's still our plan. But we also have the plan of kind of him, spending time here, me spending time in Kansas. He's been here more times than I've been to Kansas. So I owe a Kansas trip, which I'm actually making on Thursday. So I'm going there again. And then we're driving to Oklahoma to visit his father. So I'm doing the whole Midwest tour next week, or this coming up week. I don't think that is really a challenge. To be honest, right now, we have been fortunate since we're pretty soon off the show. You still have kind of opportunities. People still want to see you around, and I'm sure all those will fade very soon.

But like IHeart Radio invited us to go to the jingle ball, and we've done a couple other things. We've been invited by people to be on shows, and like we were on Drew Barrymore at a couple weeks ago. So they invited us to New York City, and we got to see each other there. So we get invited to enough things right now that we organically see each other once every couple weeks anyway. And then we make an effort. If we're not seeing each other in every 10 to 14 days, we plan something. So the few times that we haven't had a reason to meet, he's come here, or we've met in New York City, we've planned a trip, and then we just got back from Cancun.

So we went on a vacation together. So we've done a good job of making sure that we see each other. In fact, like, I think we're coming up on maybe the longest time that we haven't seen each other, and it's starting to feel kind of crappy. but we're both really busy right now and like the absence makes the heart growth founder is kind of a thing that I believe in and when we see each other we're really happy to see each other

like we're like newlyweds you know we're like we need to be together at that point and it feels so good that makes sense do you think that people that are looking for their chapter two should be more open to long distance dating it opens up more options absolutely and I wasn't so I think I've learned a lot from this experience I have kind of a philosophy and I talked I talked about this actually before I went on the show CNN asked to interview me and it was right after Gary and Teresa had broken up it was right it was fresh off the breakoff

and it was fresh it was the actually they interviewed me like right the day that I was announced that I was going to be the golden bachelor the day after so it aired the day after and they asked they said what are you going to do like obviously this distance thing is what caused that marriage to break up, you know, how are you going to handle it? And I said, well, I just want to put it out there right now that I am not moving from Maryland. I have three grandkids here. I have four kids that live there. I am, and I have a 92-year-old mother and an 86-year-old mother-in-law that I can't leave. So I am not leaving Maryland. So if somebody thinks that they're coming on the show and I am going to change that, that is not going to happen. But I do realize

that then that's a whole different conversation. It's going to take a lot of effort to make this relationship work. And it's going to be required that, you know, you have to make sure that your schedules are, you know, you're going to match your schedules. It's going to require travel. It's going to require an effort to see each other. And I am so willing to do that. I will bend over backwards to make sure that that part we take care of. So it's just a kind of a, you know, you have to look at it in a little bit of a different way. But I also in my mind thought, this is like really a bad thing. You sound like Thelma. Yeah, is that right? Emma loves long distance.

I love long distance. And I feel like having a chapter one that was very traditional and it was wonderful. But again, I think there's so many more variables in chapter two with families and kids and lives and jobs. And I was just going to say, I mean, are you seeking a more non-traditional relationship kind of? And I don't mean there's not the connection and the bond and all of that. But just the day to day, you know, it doesn't have to be underwerect. one roof? Like, are you seeking something different in this chapter? I'm not sure if I'm seeking anything yet, but it's playing out in the way I kind of expected to, because I know that chalk still

has a business in Kansas, and I still have grandkids, and I'm busy too. I feel like we could have the best of both the world. So if I have something important going on here, he has no problem flying here and doing what I need to do, or if I have something like I'm doing this in line collaboration in California. So he and I are like, we're meeting in California because that's a kind of a fun thing to do. Kind of a sexy jet-setting life. I know. And I'm like, people see this as a negative. I think it's actually really fun. I think it's hugely positive for us right now. I agree. We just have all these really cool experiences together. And maybe I could see one day, you know, maybe next year, maybe there we after maybe five years from now that I'm going to go like,

okay, you know, it'd be nice to have you around, like to cook dinner together and to like start living a more normal life. But right now, this is really fun and I am not looking to change it. And it's probably been, I would think, is it been helpful for your children? Because, I mean, life has changed. You obviously have a loved one now, but it's probably nice that they still have you to themselves occasionally and, you know, the routine of what was pre-chop. Yeah. I think you're right. Like it hasn't been a big upheaval to their lives. So it hasn't changed all that much. Like, I'll go away for a week at a time or 10 days at a time and then be home for a week or two weeks at a time. And so it's a little different, but it's not a lot different. The difference is

they really like it when chalk comes here because they really like him. He's just a fun, easy person to be around. Yeah. So he stays here and, you know, we come down for, you know, like to have coffee in the morning and, you know, one of my kids will be here. And I feel like they like him maybe more than they like me. They really have fun. So he fits. He really, he really fits. And he has a great sense of humor. He's fun to be around. He also has a very calming, I mean, he has such a calming energy about him. And when I looked at the two of you, when we were all in Pebble Beach, I saw the excitement and the attraction, but I saw a peace, like a real kind of peaceful connection with the two of you where you guys just felt safe with each other. That's like such a great

way to put it, because that was something that when John passed away, I felt like floating untethered. Like I just was like I, it was just me. Even though I have a great family and I have so much love in my life, I felt very alone and that it was like me against the world. And he like grounds me. I don't feel that way anymore. I feel like I have my person and that he makes me feel safe. I felt I felt like he grounded me. We interviewed him at Pebble Beach and he was full of sage advice. And you can tell he's one of those guys that it's not that he needs. to be the center of attention and speak all the time. He has a quiet confidence.

But when he does speak, it really resonates with you. And if anyone hasn't watched that episode, I would encourage them to do so because I think it was so interesting to talk to all three of the bachelors when we asked them. And they're different takes on everything. It was really, I think it was really helpful for us, is when they're different perspectives. Joan, we talk a lot in our friend's group about sharing or recycling men.

Were there any of the men that were in either, you know, in your season that you would kind of pivot to one of your friends or single friends? Yeah, kind of. So there was a thought for me that, and not just, I didn't just think it up, it was like a conversation subject with the golden bachelor women. So the women that came off of Gary's season, so there were 21 of us. They were all very interested in when I came home from Golden Bachelorette and I really couldn't talk about, like, who had gone and who didn't until on the show, you could see that they had been eliminated. And then I could kind of address relationships for each one of those people as they got eliminated. You became a matchmaker. I know. I became the matchmaker. I did. And I would be getting

messages the next day, like after the show aired. So whoever got let go that night, people would be like, what do you think? Do you think like he would like me? Would you think we're being a good match? And I definitely had some matches and I actually worked on several. Unfortunately, none of them really worked out. The guys on my season were skewed a little younger than the women on Gary season because I was younger. Gary was 70 and I was 60.

Interesting. So, yeah. So the ages didn't match up. I had guys, the age from 57 and the oldest one of my season was 69 and it was past Scal and he was by far the oldest. I think the next one to him was maybe closer to like 67 and then most of my guys were really good for his age though. Yeah, yeah. He's very fit. He's a good looking guy. So it sounds like you dated a little bit before obviously the Golden Bachelorette and you dated several men on the Golden Bachelorette. So you definitely

are are a force and have probably a lot of advice to give. What red like subtle red flags do you think that people ignore when looking at chapter two dating? So I think people have like a tendency to date a certain type. So some people like the bad boys. Some people, you know, you kind of are attracted to something and it's always pretty consistent like who you're attracted to. I think that the smartest thing to do when you're dating is to try to get away from those because if you've been dating for a long time and it hasn't worked out,

it's probably because you're not looking for the right kind of person. You sound like the J. Shetty podcast that was on today with Jillian Tarecki, which was all about what you're basically saying right now, which is date differently than what you've done if it hasn't been working. I really feel strongly about that because I too have a tendency to date like a certain kind of guy. I've been actually chalk is very much like my late husband, John. So I actually, I think I'm a good picker, but I'm not sure.

I've seen a lot of people who aren't good pickers who, particularly the people that like the bad boy and like I feel like okay that's something great to do when you're in high school and college but when you're looking for a relationship that's a bad guy that's not the person you want or they like a playboy so you know Pascal's a bit of a playboy you know I wasn't going to pick him because I knew that about him he self-eliminated that was all good all of that worked out the way it was supposed to I feel like red flags are the way you're dating not and the way you pick because you have a tendency to pick the same kind of person. I certainly do. I bet both of you do. And that you should

widen your net a little bit. You know, I heard a podcast recently about fixing your profile on a dating app and that you should widen the people that you're accepting messages from. So like make it a bigger age gap that you say are okay or don't specify a religion or don't specify a number of miles that they need to be within widen all of those parameters so you'll get introduced to more people and you'll have a better likelihood

of finding somebody better or finding a better match for you. Yeah, that's insightful because I feel like when you think of red flags, you're always thinking about looking at other people and their red flags, right?

But it's really what you're saying is it might be within us. You need to listen to that podcast, Thelma. That's what it was today. So Joan, did you have, have, speaking of red flags and me and bad boys, did you have crazy wild butterflies the minute

you met chocks? I know a lot of people say that butterflies can be almost a warning signal. And so I'm always trying to sit with myself on a date and say, you know, butterflies, no butterflies, good thing, bad thing. What do you think? So I did have butterflies, which was really good. So when he stepped down in a limo, I thought, okay, that's a good looking guy. He's a great dresser. I think he's a good dresser, too. He is a good dresser. He does. And he doesn't know, he thinks he's not a good dresser, but he really good. He is very, really good. He happens to look really good in clothes. He also looks good out of clothes, but he looks really good in clothes. And because he's tall and he's pretty thin. So he and he's in shape. He has really

wide shoulders, broad shoulders, which just kind of just make your body just look good anyway. And clothes hangs so well like that too. Yeah, hangs in, like, it just like has a presence kind of about you. Like, it's like, like, there's a man, you know? So I liked him when he got out of the limo when I really, really liked him is kind of when I needed to feel a comfort and was what at Disneyland. And that was, you know, that was a kind of a stressful as a first date. So I was stressed. I was, I was really nervous. And I came in on this like little train thingy and they dropped me off on the train platform and he's standing in there.

And I immediately felt, again, the word safe with him. And I thought he was really sexy and he put his arm around me and he made me feel. feel comfortable and I had butterflies and I was like this is really good and that date was phenomenal probably the best date I've ever went on was that before he left was that before he so were you sad when he left like did you think he was going to come back I was devastated when he left okay and that's a sign too that you knew you liked him that was the day I knew that he was the guy oh my I was going to ask you that I was going to ask you that because I feel like it was obvious I mean it was written all over his face, that he was just

enamored with you. And I also think it was kind of ironic that the most pedestrian of dates, no offense to The Bachelor, you know what I mean? That you had, like, that was the most pedestrian of all the dates and that was your guy. You know? I mean, it wasn't like flying off in the helicopter or doing anything super sex. Well, also,

Joan had left her show, too. You just didn't come back. And so that was a whole thing. When I came to the mansion that day, it was literally the, you know, like, you know, very soon after our date and he was standing waiting outside for me. And I was like, that's exactly what they had me do when I had to tell Gary I was leaving. It was exactly. And there was that bench was sitting right there, which was the exact

same bench I sat on and had to say goodbye to Gary. And I was like, well, something is going, something is not good here. This is bizarre. I was going to the mansion to go on a date with Jordan. I had a date that day. I was arriving at the, at the mansion to go on a date. They're standing and chalk is getting there at the front door waiting for me and he said hey can I talk to you for a minute I'm like that's exactly what I said to Gary hey I need to talk to you for a minute and we sat down on the bench and he said I had a very unperson thing happened last night I knew his mom was really sick so my mom passed and um you know I need some help figuring out what I should do and I was like you have to go there I and so he had a stepfather elderly and um I said you need to go see your stepfather

and so he decided he was going to do that and it's absolutely the right decision but when he walked away I remember and he said I will be back I'm coming back and I thought yeah he thinks he's coming back I thought I was coming back and I never I mean he couldn't get back there fast enough though I'm sure that he did tend to his family but I felt like he must have taken the conchors back like he was back and I was like he was not going to let this opportunity go I I thank God because he left and I you know I had to function that day I had to go on the date and you know I didn't want to I needed to be true to that guy to Jordan you know he was excited he had a date and I, you know, I did the best I could to have a great time, and I think we did a great.

Your heart was not in that. I was worried the whole time that I, that chalk wasn't going to come back. And in my mind, when I finally got to like be off a date and like have some time to think, I, my mind said, he doesn't know if he can come back. And how in the world am I going to do this whole journey? Because right now, like he was like number one in my mind. I said, I will have this unanswered question forever. would have changed the course of the entire show I would have changed the course of the entire show

and I am not positive I would have gotten to an ending of picking somebody I think I might have just he would be too big of a question mark of my head I don't think I could have gotten all the way to the end

and found somebody else he was pretty clearly the guy that I like had kind of honed in on but I was also really careful as we were filming because I thought that really early on I thought that at the Disneyland date

that this was pretty a really good date and that he i felt really good about him but i i know that people do that a lot on bachelor and they kind of hone in on a person and they get like four weeks in and discover that that that person is not the person they thought that he was or she was and that then they have to pivot and they don't have very much time then to establish another good relationship so i was really careful that every person i dated every every every date or every interaction i treated them like they were the person. Like I was really, you know, making sure I got to know them really well and was giving them, you know, I gave everybody like an equal chance. Even though in my mind, I did feel like

chalk was the person. That's really good advice for the, for the future bachelors and bachelorets to give everybody their day in court. And you did. And I felt like everybody felt that and was they constantly, I think, told you how appreciative they were that they had your full attention. I feel like I really got to know some amazing men and like that's part of the journey also is that even though you don't pick everybody at the end you end up with these really unique friendships that you've gone through this weird journey of dating and like they're all your old boyfriends which is just kind of a funny thing to say because we all don't really feel that way I mean you know it's a it's a quick journey it's only eight weeks you never get

that invested in somebody unless they're like the person that you're picking so everything is like it's a you hold back a little bit so you don't dive like totally in and they hold back a little bit too you have to you have to protect your heart it's like it was college again it was like watching college again it was fun but it's been so amazing to talk to you hi my name is enya umanzor and i'm drew phillips and we run a podcast called emergency intercom if you're a crime junkie and you love crimes we're not the podcast for you but if you have unmedicated ADHD oh my god perfect and want to hear people with mental illness psychobabble yes yes then emergency

intercom is the podcast for you open your free iHeart radio app search emergency intercom and listen now when your car is making a strange noise no matter what it is you can't just pretend it's not happening That's an interesting sound. It's like your mental health. If you're struggling and feeling overwhelmed, it's important to do something about it. It can be as simple as talking to someone or just taking a deep, calming breath to ground yourself.

Because once you start to address the problem, you can go so much further. The Huntsman Mental Health Institute and the Ad Council have resources available for you at love your mind today.org. I was diagnosed with cancer on Friday and cancer free the next Friday. No chemo, no radiation, none of that. On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us podcast,

I sat down with Warren Campbell, Grammy-winning producer, pastor, and music executive to talk about the beats, the business, and the legacy behind some of the biggest names in gospel, R&B, and hip-hop. Professionally, I started at Deadwell Records. From Mary Mary to Jennifer Hudson, we get into the soul of the music

and the purpose that drives it. Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The U.S. Open is here, and on my podcast, Good Game with Sarah Spain. I'm breaking down the players, the predictions, the pressure, And, of course, the Honey Deuces, the signature cocktail of the U.S. Open.

The U.S. Open has gotten to be a very wonderfully experiential sporting event. To hear this and more, listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain, an IHeart Women's Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Brought to you by Novartis, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports Network. Hey, I'm Kurt Brown-Oller. And I am Scotty Landis, and we host Bananas, the podcast where we should, share the weirdest, funniest, real news stories from all around the world.

And sometimes from our guest personal lives, too. Like when Whitney Cummings recently revealed her origin story on the show. There's no way I don't already have rabies. This is probably just why my personality is like this. I've been surviving rabies for the past 20 years. New episodes of bananas drop every Tuesday in the exactly right network. Listen to bananas on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.

Thank you.