The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - You’re Divorced, You Need $, and Now You’re Going Back To Work!

Episode Date: July 23, 2026

The “Elite Recruiter” Deepali Vyas is here to help YOU land a job or get a promotion after your divorce! Deepali is telling you what to put on (and keep off) your resume, how to negotiate ...the pay you deserve, and what to keep in mind when looking for a job post-divorce.  Email us at: IDOPOD@iheartradio.com or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed human. Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on Internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. Hey, everybody. I'm Tarika Foster Brasby. What's up, y'all? I'm your girl, Cheryl Swoops.
Starting point is 00:00:26 When you tune in to a new episode of our podcast Levels to this, you're definitely going to get some spy CWNBA analysis. But we're more than just hoops. And the real conversation is what we actually breathe. It's been really, really cool seeing kind of these women just really step into their power off the court and understand that they aren't basketball, right? And they're not asking for permission.
Starting point is 00:00:52 Listen to Levels to This with Stroh's Hoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby. on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey there, Amy Roboc and TJ Holmes here from the Amy and TJ podcast, where we are doing the exact opposite of taking a summer vacation. Yeah, I can't do that. There's entirely too much going on in the world right now to not be talking about all this stuff. Come along with us every morning for our morning run. Then keep an eye on the Amy and TJ podcast feed.
Starting point is 00:01:22 We give you a steady stream of episodes daily with conversations that allow us to go deeper. and yeah, sometimes go at it. Listen to Amy and T.J. on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Can superstars even exist the way they used to? 2016 was sort of that last era of monoculture where we still consume things in community.
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Starting point is 00:02:08 ID Part 2. It's your host, Jenny Garth. Okay. Do you remember that show from a few years ago? It was called Younger. Hillary Duff was in it, and I just love her. Sutton Foster was in it as well. And it's all about a divorced woman who put her career. on hold to raise her child and be a wife. And then in her 40s, she found herself divorced and having to enter back into the workforce. Only no one would hire her because of her age.
Starting point is 00:02:59 That story, I know, is so true to many people listening to this podcast. Working post-divorce can be daunting, but it doesn't have to be. My guest today is DiPali Vias, an executive recruiter and career strategist known as the elite recruiter. She has spent more than 25 years advising Fortune 500 companies, hedge funds, private equity firms, and I cannot wait to talk to her. Hello, DiPolly. Hi, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you as well. How are you today? I'm good. I'm having a moment because it's just full circle. And you know you're going to get this all the time, I'm sure. But Kelly Martin.
Starting point is 00:03:47 Or no, Kelly. Donna Martin and Kelly. And I just like, oh my God. My sister and I would like die for each episode when they came out. So it's really nice to meet you. And yeah, I've been a fan. And with all of your stuff, beyond that. Well, I'm so excited to talk to you today because you
Starting point is 00:04:08 have some very valuable information that we have got to get out there. Okay, so let's say, I'm a divorced woman listening to this podcast right now. I've been married for the last 18 years, and maybe I did a little part-time work here and there, or I put my career on hold to focus on my kids. Now, boom, I'm divorced, single, and on a single income. Where do I start first? Do I make a resume, do I go on LinkedIn? What do I do? Yeah. So I would say the first things that I would advise is sort of a what I call a five-step reset. One, I would know your economics, right? What do you need to earn and what are you worth? You mentioned that, you know, you're working part-time or this person, you know, had experience, they took time off. So what are your economics? What do you need to earn and
Starting point is 00:05:04 what are you worth? The second thing is, you're right. Audit your career. assets, right? What skills do you have? What accomplishments do you have? And where do you need to put them on a resume and LinkedIn? Right. So what is your digital footprint out there? A hundred percent, both of them. Then I would say the third thing is define your constraints. Because you might have constraints on geography, flexibility, travel, benefits, schedule. All of those things are going to factor in if you're divorced plus mom, right? Right, right, right. And then, The fourth and fifth thing. Fourth is rebuild your narrative, right?
Starting point is 00:05:42 You don't have to tell the market what happened to you. You need to tell it. Exactly, right? You need to tell it what you're capable of next. Yes. Right? And the fifth is creating optionality, right? Building relationships and potential income streams before you desperately need them, right?
Starting point is 00:06:03 Okay, getting ahead of it. Exactly. optionality. Yeah. That is leverage. That is leverage because then you, it's not all your eggs aren't in one basket. Well, like, look, take you for example, right? You've actually lived something I talk about all the time. Your identity didn't stop at one version of your career or one chapter of your personal life, right? Right. Actress, mother, author, entrepreneur, podcaster. You continued adding. lanes and that's what I mean about optionality. So get multi-hyphenate.
Starting point is 00:06:42 Multi-hyphenate is that, especially because I think what women forget sometimes is that they have this experience and then they kind of just push it down, you know, when they go into it. Oh, yeah, like downplay it or. Right, totally don't play it. It's no big deal. I was, you know, just ran the whatever at the bank. But yeah, list all your accomplishments.
Starting point is 00:07:02 Like, take a minute. I was a badass before. Right. And I was a badass mom. and now I'm coming back. Get ready for me. I love that. Wait, what are your top three things that every woman should be prepared for when she is going
Starting point is 00:07:16 into that job interview? Yeah. I would say know your narrative and like really get in front of it. I think where people make a lot of mistakes are, so you may have this anxiety about, oh my God, I have this huge gap on my resume. I've been out of the market, whatever. When you're in front of an interviewer, the last thing you're, want to do is have them address it before you can tell your story. Right. So if I'm sitting in front
Starting point is 00:07:41 of you, I'm like, oh, Kelly, you know, you had a five-year gap. Can you tell me about it? You know what Kelly's thinking? I keep saying Kelly. I'm, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I don't know why I keep saying that. I'm so sorry. It's okay. A generic Kelly. Kelly. Somebody else named Kelly. Yes. They are thinking, they just asked me this question and now I have to dig myself out of this hole and get to neutral just to feel like I'm on an even playing field. So what I tell my clients is get in front of that story. As soon as you sit down, and the first question is naturally going to be tell me about yourself. You address that before they even get there.
Starting point is 00:08:19 Let me tell you. I have been, previously I was the VP of MX and Strategic Partnerships. I took some time to do family planning, but these are the skills that I've kept up to snuff with and I've learned all about AI, and this is why this role is great for me at this time. Now, since you've already addressed the elephant in the room, like, they can't say, well, wait, why did you take five years off? I already got ahead of it. I already told you I took time for family planning. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's so smart. Okay, so that's like number one, right? What's the, what are a couple of other ones? So the second thing I would say is have stories ready.
Starting point is 00:09:01 Like what are your, I'm going to call them the star stories, right? So what challenging situations have you been in? What tasks did you do? What action did you take? And what was the result? That's star. And you should have three or four of those. And whether or not you've been in and out of the market, you can go back into your stories
Starting point is 00:09:22 and say, this is how I dealt with conflict then. I know times have changed. Here's how my, you know, here's how I've matured over this amount of time. and this is how I would approach it now, logical thinking, right? So even if you have sort of quote unquote outdated experience, it doesn't mean that you haven't been living life and interacting with people, right? You could have been, you know, heading up the PTA, or you could have been on a nonprofit or whatever you were doing in between that time,
Starting point is 00:09:49 keeping yourself busy. And so you can interject those things, but you should have a bag of stories. So you don't feel like you're reaching or you or someone just kind of stops you in your tracks and you have nothing to say. What if you, what if you or your story is that I have, I have just taken time off to be a mom and raise my kids. And that's fine. And say the lessons that I've learned as a mother has been patience, has been, you know, so you, you completely narrate what you've built with experience in whatever you were doing. So that's what I would say.
Starting point is 00:10:25 Yes, even as a mom, like look at all the things if you sat and wrote them down and thought it through. You're like the CFO of the house. You are the chief procurement officer of the house, right? You're the chief operations officer of the house. Like those are all skills. They truly are. Right? You can multitask, right?
Starting point is 00:10:44 You can delegate. You can operate, you know, in a high functioning way with multiple tasks, which, by the way, isn't that a job? Yeah, it is. My? Hardest job ever. Yeah. And the third thing I would say is that,
Starting point is 00:11:00 I would be really, really in front of like your sort of brand, like, spoon feeding them what you want them to know about you, right? Like, this is what I'm really good at. Because the thing about interviewers, right, the sort of state secret is that that interviewer in front of you just wants to get some of those headlines and pass them over to the next interviewer. So as long as your story stays consistent, they kind of give them the high. highlight reel of your experience. So you move on to the next interview. Oh, because you, there are rounds. Sometimes you have to go through rounds. Oh, there are rounds. Oh, there are rounds. Like, yeah. What do you, what do you see as the biggest mistake women are making out there when
Starting point is 00:11:48 they're searching for a job post-divorce? Yeah, I think, you know, a couple of things are, especially when you're in this sort of like fragile moment of you've now gone through something so personal and you start bleeding your identity and your narrative between personal and professional, it really does come through. And, you know, I think it is hard and I don't, I don't, you know, take it lightly where you're going through something emotional. It's obviously going to seep into like your energy and all of that. But if there's any like way for that half an hour or 45 minutes that you can completely compartmentalize your personal from your professional, it will be a very good thing. And all you have to tell yourself is like, listen, it's 45 minutes that I do not have to think about that. Right. And then it depends on like who you're in front of, right? If you're in a in a creative profession and if that is something that is kind of fueling you or driving you, you can certainly talk about it. But if you're going into a banking environment, right, or private equity or whatever it is and you know they're buttoned up, you probably don't want.
Starting point is 00:13:00 to lead with that or have that seep through in your conversations. You don't want to give them, like, your mom's stories. Only after they fall in love with you. Yeah, you got to wait. So true. What, okay, so I know looking for a job can be really overwhelming. I see how hard it is for my friends and I even see how hard it is for my young adult daughters. As a single mom, what things should you be mindful of when you're looking and what should be things that you should be a little more flexible on during your search? Yeah. You know, I think the biggest thing is sort of a mindset, I would say. You have to think about it as if you are not starting over. You're starting with receipts. So whether you're 45 or 50 or 55, right, you have receipts. And what I mean by that is
Starting point is 00:13:53 you have judgment, you have pattern recognition, you have relationships, You have scar tissue. You know what you're good at. You know what you're terrible at, too, by the way. Yes. And so I think you, you, what you should start by is what environments bring out your best work, right? And that means like, what can I still do? And then it's also what do I want to do with everything that I know now, right?
Starting point is 00:14:20 And sometimes it could be, you know, I actually tell this. And, you know, yes, this is great for your audience in that segment. but if you actually think about the analogy of like, what do you tell your kids, right? I have a son and, you know, look, coming from an Indian background, it's always about like math and science. My son is not a math and science guy.
Starting point is 00:14:42 And so like for me to push that and his father to push that, it's like, I don't want him resenting us for it, right? Right, right. And so I tell, you know, a lot of parents of kids, like, tell them. them to lean into their strengths. That same advice goes for women.
Starting point is 00:15:02 What are your strengths? Like, don't force yourself into, I'm going to take this project management job when you're not really detailed oriented. That's not for you then. You know, like, you need to go somewhere where there's more vision or there's more, you know, unstructure or whatever it is, right? Like, you get to think on your feet and you get to do all of these things and it's a little bit more in that vein.
Starting point is 00:15:24 So that's what I say about, you know, what can you do and what do you're really good at and lean into that. Yeah, for sure, because this is, you're making a big decision as you move into this next huge phase of your life. Yeah. And I think it's also scarcity thinking, right? Like, yeah. A lot of people are just kind of like, man, I just need someone to give me a chance, right? And that scarcity changes your behavior, right? Like, you apply to everything, you accept less money, you overlook red flags, you don't negotiate, you tolerate bad managers, right? Like, you take the first offer, right? And we've learned that in business and in real estate and all these things, never take the first offer, right? Like, you have to negotiate. And so, like, don't sell yourself
Starting point is 00:16:08 short just because you've had this life event and that you think that you don't have enough to offer. Don't sell yourself short. Take some time, right? Sit down with yourself and a notepad and a pin and like talk yourself up to yourself like make a list of all of your accomplishments so far like all the things that you've done i mean when you really do that and you go back and you look at that list you'll probably be impressed yeah absolutely and i think that you know what it's also give yourself permission to reinvent oh yes right why not yeah yeah you know sometimes a marriage isn't the only identity someone has outgrown, right? Maybe it's, you know, you became the flexible parent or the person who didn't travel or whatever.
Starting point is 00:16:59 And you might say, like, you know, I don't actually have to keep making the same professional choices, right? Sometimes you maybe were just optimizing your career for things that don't exist anymore. Like, and I know it's terrifying, but like, hey, you know, if, you know, Walmart was founded by a 44-year-old, why not you? Why not you? You know? There's so many inspirational stories like that. Like I think women should just seek those out too, like pump it up, pump us up, pump
Starting point is 00:17:29 yourself up, and then just dream. I would also join like, you know, professional communities because like women do love helping other women. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. You know, and like I'm having a, I'm part of this Change the Board Game initiative and we are bringing in women that are that want to be aspiring board members with current board members. And it's like if you don't know what it's like, like you want you need to be in the room.
Starting point is 00:17:57 You need to, yes, you need to be asking the questions and curious and having people around you that are smarter than you. Yeah. That is honestly, Jenny, that is like number one. If I, if I gave any advice to your audience, I would say, okay, you shed this thing with whatever was happening with your divorce. look around your neighborhood, your associations, whatever, and level it up because proximity brings opportunity. I love that. Proximity. Proximity brings opportunity. You guys, did you hear that?
Starting point is 00:18:31 Little nugget. Okay, what about a resume? Should people hire a resume writer? Is that even a good investment or should they just be using AI? So I'm going to say, I'm going to give you that answer in two parts. I think AI is amazing. I use every AI tool on the planet. So your first draft thinking, you should definitely put into AI and say, hey, this is all my stuff, you know, put something together for me. Again, it's your first draft. It may not capture the essence. There are, and then the second part of that is, if you are just not used to, you know, putting together a document that is going to pass the ATS or it's going to pass a recruiter or the hiring manager test, then investing in someone that can write your resume really well will serve you well.
Starting point is 00:19:21 Because the modern resume right now, and look, I've read a million resumes, right? In my recruiter role, I know exactly how I read them. Up top, I read it like an F, like up top and then down, and then I might go back up and up and read your first lines of experience, right? That's how I read it. Now, if you didn't know that, you wouldn't know how to write it, right? And a lot of people end up putting their whole life story on there. There's a lot of word salad.
Starting point is 00:19:43 I'm trying to parse through the noise. And the one thing that I will say is that oftentimes you have to think about it like this. If you are not clear about your experience, right, you are now putting the burden on someone like me that is reading your resume and trying to figure you out. But guess what I have, Jenny? I have a day job, right? And so it takes time for me to figure you out. So if you don't have clarity and that document is not clear, then you know, you stop short of what you really can be.
Starting point is 00:20:19 Right. And too many words is just too many words sometimes. Word salad sandwich is like too many words. Do you think that is, do you think AI is doing the first scan of most resumes that are submitted now? It is. So a lot of companies use AI scanners. to just pick up some of the keywords. So, yes, that is happening.
Starting point is 00:20:41 It does reach a human. So I don't want to have a misconception out there. It does reach a human. I think some of the larger tech companies rely a little bit more on AI just because they're getting an insane amount of applicants. But I would say, you know, for the, you know, look for the hidden gems. Look for the mid-sized companies or the smaller companies that are going to take a look at you because they're going to need someone like, you know,
Starting point is 00:21:06 I'll give you a perfect example. There is a company here in Long Island, and the guy was like, I actually just like hiring moms. And, you know, the reason for that is because they multitask and they know that they have to drop their kids off in the morning and they have to go pick their kids back up. So that nine to two time slot is like optimal work zone for them. And they have to get it done. They don't have a choice.
Starting point is 00:21:34 And he's like, that's why I hire them. Right? And he's like, my entire workforce are moms. He's a smart, right? So my point is, like, there are employers like that out there that actually prefer that skill set, like prefer that type of person. You never know, because you kind of think, oh, they're not going to want to hire me because I'm a mom or because I'm this age.
Starting point is 00:21:57 Maybe that's exactly what they're looking for. Exactly. So, but you have to ask and you have to, you know, honestly, like, I will say, you know, finding a job is a full-time job. it takes a lot of work. It's going to be a lot of calls. It's going to be a lot of networking. It's going to be a lot of, you know, resume sends.
Starting point is 00:22:13 And it's a volume game. And the one thing is you can't take it personally. And the reason why I say that is because after this type of event, you have fragility in your ego. You have fragility in your emotions and all of that. So I am really conscious of that. And the last thing you want is another rejection, right? Yeah. And so I will say that treat.
Starting point is 00:22:35 your job like a business and that it's just a numbers game. And then until you find the right sort of, you know, chemistry and, and, you know, job that's right for you and the culture that fits you, you can then kind of invest your whole heart in it. But like, don't worry about the rejections, honestly. Yeah. You know, those just aren't meant to be. Yeah. And you're absolutely better off for it. Yeah. I feel like every time. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:06 100%. It's a sign. I'm totally believing that. It's a sign. Okay. Do you think that women out there reentering the workforce are experiencing ageism? Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:23:19 I talk about this all the time in my content. And I think that, you know, it's, there's something about, I'll say this. Ageism is real. And I don't want to give women like a motivational answer that pretends that it doesn't exist. And I've been in recruiting for 25 years. You don't combat ageism by trying to convince somebody you're younger, right? You combat it by making your experience incredibly relevant. So every time you experience this, I always tell people, whatever you're thinking, flip it on its head, right?
Starting point is 00:24:00 If you're thinking, I'm not young enough or I'm not this enough, right? You need to flip the narrative of like, I have this amount of experience that I can do this job in half the time if you hire a younger person. And that's the other thing. Women, when you're out there interviewing and you're interviewing for a full-time job, you know, and if they start, if you start feeling this red flag on ageism or like, you know, I don't, you know, I would say, slip it in there and give that potential hiring manager optionality. Like, hey, what do you need to have done in the next three months? What is your biggest challenge? I could do that on a consulting basis for you.
Starting point is 00:24:43 How does that sound? Here's my retainer. Right? Why are you constrained just because you hire, you're interviewing for a full-time role, and they start thinking, I don't know if I can afford her. She's too experienced, right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:24:59 But you know you can do that job and you can do it in three months. Give them a consult. And they can more than likely get that consulting gig approved faster than they can give you a full-time offer. Interesting. That is a, you know what? That felt like a shark tank hack moment. That is my super hack. That is my super hack.
Starting point is 00:25:23 And it happens all the time. You are a shark tank of hiring. Wow. Okay, I hope people really understood that because that's a good one because you can feel in the, I almost said audition, you can feel in the interview. What's the undercurrent? Well, and they'll say things like, wow, you have a lot of experience. That's ageism, right? That's undercover ageism.
Starting point is 00:25:50 Undercover. And so, and it might be unconscious too. It might just be an unconscious bias as soon as they, they, they. they see you or they read that resume. And that's when I tell people that like, listen, you got to turn it around. You got to say, listen, what about my experience can lend itself really well in the next six to eight weeks of something that you need to complete? I can do that for you.
Starting point is 00:26:12 And here's what I would charge. That is good. Know what you're going to charge too. Definitely know what you're going to charge. Because that's hard being on the spot like that, like coming up with a number. But remember when I talked about like know your earning potential, know your worth. Right. So like you can reverse engineer. Talk to AI. Hey, AI. I used to make, you know, $200,000 full time. This is the amount of experience that I've had. This is the break that I've had. Give me five comparisons of this type of role in the market between midsize and large size companies. All right. So then it'll spit something back to you and say, yeah, you're probably in the two to 250 range. All right. So let me break that down into if I were to be a consultant for three months, what would be my monthly retirement? Well, DiPolly, it would be $10,000 a month.
Starting point is 00:27:00 That's what I would propose. That's how you use AI, too, people. Right. Even getting a job, it's like... Exactly. It's there for you. And now you have $30,000 in your pocket while you keep looking. While you keep looking.
Starting point is 00:27:12 Smart. You are smart, cookie. Get Bell, Pure Fiber Internet with Crave Netflix and Disney Plus. From $94 a month, price guaranteed for two years on Internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell. For details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. Hey everybody, I'm Tarika Foster Brasby. What's up, y'all?
Starting point is 00:27:40 I'm your girl, Cheryl Swoops. When you tune in to a new episode of our podcast levels to this, you're definitely going to get some spicy WNBA analysis. I see a lot of men who get into the space because now it's a hot product. And that grinds my gears to dust. But then the conversation goes on and levels up beyond basketball. It's been really, really cool seeing kind of these women just really step into their power off the court
Starting point is 00:28:11 and understand that they aren't basketball, right? And they're not asking for permission. Because on levels to this, the game is always the starting point, but we're more than just hoops. And the real conversation is what we actually breathe. This is Levels to This, the podcast about all the levels of stuff that women go through. Listen to levels to this with
Starting point is 00:28:33 Cheryl swoops and Tarika Foster Brasby on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. We've all been there. We've had seasons that have shaken everything. The question is, what
Starting point is 00:28:49 remains when the shaking stops? Hi, I'm Gary Valenzheno. And on my podcast, Unshaken with Gary Vee, I sit down with amazing personalities and we talk about the seasons that nearly broke them, the lows that carried them to their highs. Listen to Unshaken with Gary Vee on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your
Starting point is 00:29:14 podcasts. Hey guys, Paul Verze here, and I want to talk to you about Paul's best podcast. Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and IHeart Radio. I sit down each week with a special guest and we discuss the absolute best of things. Pete David's... It's that? And then there's everything up. He would just shout one line and it would murder.
Starting point is 00:29:32 Marie! Lunch! Bill Burr. Let's talk about the best moments that we had on the road. I would love a cocktail. Dude, Joe could get last row, middle scene on a Southwest Airlines flight. Joe, how was your flight? It was great.
Starting point is 00:29:46 The guy on Penn State moving on the field. And the player thought Joe is his former coach. And he hugged him. And he hugged him, and Joe just went with it. And the guy goes, what are you doing here, coach? And Joe just goes, man. And you walked in. And he walked.
Starting point is 00:29:58 and it is bananas. I mean, it's a feast for the eyes. And I was like, it's not my thing either, but we're here. When in Rome? Top athletes, chefs, musicians, everybody. Listen to Paul's best podcast on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay. Are there things that you should leave off your resume until you land that interview, like your
Starting point is 00:30:26 college graduation year? So you're not, you know, compared. So another sort of one. One of my hacks, right? So look, I've been in industry for now 26 years, right? 20, almost 27. My resume is probably a page and a half. I do not have graduation years on my resume.
Starting point is 00:30:50 Not needed. You know what I'm good at? And this is what I know. And I would say after the first or after your last sort of 10 years, everything else should be kind of folded into like small. smaller bullet points. And I will say this to you right now, no one, I don't care how much experience you have needs more than a two-page resume. Period, full stop. Yeah, nobody's going to read it if it's longer than two pages. Right, like, recruiters read resumes for about six seconds.
Starting point is 00:31:21 Oof. Literally. In an F formation, that's like you've got to get it in the top. Yeah. I want to know your summary. And that summary, Jenny, is like the killer thing. I want to want to know what you do, how you do it, and what were your accomplishments in the first couple of lines. That is what's going to travel to the next person. Then I'm going to see, all right, well, how many jobs have they kind of, like what's their kind of experience set? And then I'm going to look at that last job, like your most recent job, right? I'm going to look at that. I'm going to say, hmm, all right, there's some metrics there. This is what they impacted. Here are some numbers. They increased revenue by 20 percent or they saved us, you know, some costs by 30 percent.
Starting point is 00:32:03 I'm looking for numbers. And if you don't have numbers on your resume, you're doing it wrong. And I would say that, look, why do companies hire anybody at all? What are they, what's the goal of the company? To fulfill a job? To get something done? To get something done. But why are they in business?
Starting point is 00:32:23 To make money. Boom. Every company, I don't care how mission driven they are or whatever, they want to make money. So whatever is on your. resume, you need to follow the dollar, right? Do you, have I helped the company save money? What are those numbers? Or have I helped the company make money? Put those dollars in. That's it. That's the resume. And what if you don't know, like if you're coming off of a job and you're like, I don't know how,
Starting point is 00:32:54 did I raise money for them or did I move the needle? Oh, you know. And I'll tell you how you know. And this is my other, I have a lot of hacks. You got a lot of hacks. So my other filter that I use is what I call the so what filter three times. Okay. Okay. So what I mean by that is when you look at your bullet point and you're like, okay, I created reports for the finance function. So what?
Starting point is 00:33:21 Well, my reports inform them on what decisions to make from a cost cutting perspective. So what? Well, those decisions led to. to 40% cost savings. So what? Well, 40% cost savings increased our, you know, spend for next year's budget. That right there is the impact you had by your little report. Right? That's how you follow the dollar. That's how you find it. Sniff it out. That's how you get there. Yeah, the whole divorce process, I'm not sure if you've ever been divorced, but the whole process can really break down our confidence sometimes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:06 How do women regain that when getting back into the workforce or even when they're on a job and they're advocating for themselves or maybe they're trying to get a promotion or a raise at work? How do they get that confidence back? Yeah. I mean, look, I think that first, I would separate confidence and competence. Good idea. Because divorce can absolutely shake your confidence. I realize that. It doesn't erase your competence.
Starting point is 00:34:41 Remember when I was talking about compartmentalizing? That's what I was talking about. And I think that, you know, I wouldn't, you know, there's not enough platitudes in the world to say, believe in yourself. You know, you're going to always get that. I think kind of going back and doing a really reflective audit on what have you accomplished, what have you survived, what do you exceptionally good at, right? And like all of these things should rebuild your confidence in a way of like, man, if I look back,
Starting point is 00:35:16 these are things that I did. And you said that, right? Like just to really kind of sit down. Remember, you know, when you're younger, Everyone always used to say, before you make a decision, like, do a pro and con list, right? Like, it was always like that. And so it's a little bit of that, right? And again, you stop letting that one relationship become the referendum of your work.
Starting point is 00:35:36 So I would say, even like these small wins, I would literally have sort of a page on my refrigerator. And any small win, I would just start, you know, writing it down. It starts rebuilding your confidence because you're now kind of seeing it on the page of like, I did a lot. Yeah. You know? Oh, I love this. I can't wait for women to do these things and get proactive.
Starting point is 00:35:59 We got to talk about something very important, which is getting the pay we deserve. Negotiating salary during the hiring process is not easy. It's not easy for anyone. I am not a good negotiator. What advice would you give to a woman on how to effectively negotiate for the pay rate she deserves? Yeah. So this is probably my number one question of all time. First of all,
Starting point is 00:36:26 you don't have to be a great negotiator. You just have to be really prepared. Okay. And so what I mean by that is you need three numbers. You need to know what the market pays, right, for that role that you're going for. So go to glass door, go to levels. Do all of that research. What is the number you want, right?
Starting point is 00:36:47 and the number below you are prepared to walk away. Okay. So those are the three numbers in your head floating around. When you are in front of that, you know, recruiter or hiring manager or whatever, the biggest mistake you can make is negotiating against yourself. So I always say the first person that to throw out a number loses. Okay. So what you want to do is like you have those three numbers in your head and you're like,
Starting point is 00:37:15 you need to ask them. well, what is the range for someone of my skill level and experience that this role will allow for me to operate at the top of my license? Right. And so when you say that, you're now saying like, hey, look, I know I can operate at this level. You tell me what I'm worth. And then as soon as they give you that number, you can then say, well, actually, X, Y, and Z firms at this pay level is at this level.
Starting point is 00:37:51 So you now come with data and facts versus emotion. The second thing I would say is that, you know, I hate the open-ended questions. Like, what are you looking to make, right? You need to counter that, again, not with numbers, but like, I'd love to understand the scope of the position, the overall compensation structure. When you say overall compensation structure, you, have inserted into their heads, there's more than just base salary. I want to know about bonus, I want to know about RSUs, I want to know about sign-ons,
Starting point is 00:38:25 I want to know about relocation assistance, I want to know about equity, I want to know about all of it, right? I want to know how much flexibility I have. That will determine whether or not I will accept a lower base salary, but a higher bonus if I could work remotely, right? Like so you're playing with all of these numbers. right? And so I think women sometimes negotiate and then negotiate against themselves because they are are really uncomfortable in that silence, right? Like they just want to be like, let me just,
Starting point is 00:38:57 let me just get it done, you know, versus like it's okay to go back. They expect you to go back. And if you don't go back, they're kind of like, oh, you know, we kind of pulled one over her. So they expect you to negotiate. Oh, 100%. Okay, that's good to know. There's definitely going to be some recruiters that are a bit hard-asses of like, this is all we can do. Right. Take it or leave it. If the company loves you, right? If the company has fallen in love with you and you are the lead candidate, you have a lot of sway.
Starting point is 00:39:28 And you can go back and say, well, what do you think about a sign on? Well, what do you? And all the things that, like, those guys put you in a box for of, like, base and bonus, like, there's all these other things that they can play with. That is very good to remember. Because it can get emotional and then you just, you lose your cool, like you lose. And that's the thing. It does get emotional because for whatever reason, you start tying your personal worth
Starting point is 00:39:57 to your professional worth. And then it's like you almost make it adversarial, right? And negotiating, and that's the thing. There's almost like a negative connotation to negotiating. It's like negotiating isn't fighting, right? You're not trying to beat the company, right? you're trying to structure an agreement where both sides feel good about saying yes. I like that.
Starting point is 00:40:20 It's a better way to look at it. Much more positive. Yeah. Get Bell, Pure Fiber Internet with Crave Netflix and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. Hey everybody, I'm Tarika Foster Brasby.
Starting point is 00:40:47 What's up, y'all? I'm your girl, Cheryl Swoops. When you tune in to a new episode of our podcast levels to this, you're definitely going to get some spicy WNBA analysis. I see a lot of men who get into the space because now it's a hot product, and that grinds my gears to dust. But then, the conversation goes on and levels up beyond basketball. It's been really, really cool seeing kind of these women just really step into their power off the court
Starting point is 00:41:19 and understand that they aren't basketball, right? And they're not asking for permission? Because on levels to this, the game is always the starting point, but we're more than just hoops. And the real conversation is what we actually bring. This is Levels to This, the podcast about all the levels of stuff that women go through. Listen to Levels to This with Shroes Hoops and Shep. Tarika Foster Brasby on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. We've all been there. We've had seasons that have shaken everything. The question is,
Starting point is 00:41:57 what remains when the shaking stops? Hi, I'm Gary Valenzheno. And on my podcast, Unshaken with Gary V, I sit down with amazing personalities and we talk about the seasons that nearly broke them. the lows that carried them to their highs. Listen to Unshaken with Gary V on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emily Oster. I'm an economist and data expert. And I'm Perry Wilson. I'm a medical doctor. And this is our new podcast, Wellness Actually.
Starting point is 00:42:35 Because you're getting a staggering amount of health and wellness information nowadays, and some of it is awesome. And some of it is, well, actually bullshit. Fortunately, we're both people who know how to read studies, parse data, and can tell you what's worth trying out and what you can safely ignore. Each episode, we tackle the health news of the week and then take a deeper dive into a misunderstood health and wellness topic, like... What's the deal with peptide? What's the deal with GLP once? What's the deal with creatine?
Starting point is 00:43:02 What's the deal with cupping? What's the deal with sleep? So join us for a weekly dose of sanity. It might actually be just what the doctor... Or the economist. Ordered. Listen to Wellness Actually on the Eyeheart. radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:43:29 Okay, we've talked about rebuilding your career or reigniting your career post-divorce. And yes, it can all be a little bit scary, but there's also a lot of beautiful things that can come out of it. Yeah. What are some of the positive things that you've seen come with careers in Chapter 2? Yeah. So, you know, I've actually, you know, had at RE, We do know quite a few people that are in that situation and we've had some very close friends go through divorce.
Starting point is 00:44:05 And I think one of the sort of beautiful things that I think about, because I'm eternally optimistic, right, is that the second chapter for women is, you know, to stop building a career around who they were supposed to be. and start building one around who they actually are. And I think that, you know, women that come out of this with clarity and agency, by the way, like agency, right? Like probably in that relationship, there was probably a lot of moments where they felt like they couldn't make their own decisions.
Starting point is 00:44:49 Right? So if you look at the positive of this, right? Like, you're going to have agency to make your own decisions and support yourself. Hallelujah. Right? This is your, that is like the, I love that word so much, agency. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:45:05 Because we lose it. We lose side of it. We let it slip, slip away. Yeah. And this is an opportunity, you guys. Yeah. Absolutely. So reclaim it.
Starting point is 00:45:16 And you get to set new boundaries. Mm-hmm. Right? And big ones. Whatever you want. Right? once you survived your life blowing up a bit right right like saying no to a bad meeting or negotiating salary it doesn't feel as terrifying no you have to look at it that way right and so I think you
Starting point is 00:45:38 discover that you can rebuild and I feel like that's sort of the the positives out of this I mean I knew a woman a good friend of mine who really kind of didn't find herself in the marriage Like she was just kind of going through job after job. And she wasn't like he was making good money. And so, but, you know, their chemistry had fallen apart or whatever. And so when they ultimately did get divorced, you know, it took her, you know, she was one of those people. She's like, DePala, I couldn't even move the cup from here to here.
Starting point is 00:46:13 I was just kind of depressed and lost. And then when she finally came out of it, you know, this woman like went on this sort of, I'm going to meet everyone and network everywhere and whatever. And now she has like, she started building these like, you know, wellness clinics and things like that because she networked with some of these doctors that she knew and whatever. It was complete departure from like those odds and ends jobs that she had during
Starting point is 00:46:46 her marriage. So it's like, it's honestly, and I don't say this with like, the sappy motivational quotes, but like literally it's limitless. It's literally limitless for you when you're kind of broken free from those shackles. Yes, yes. Oh my gosh.
Starting point is 00:47:06 Such important messaging. I've talked about that before too. Like don't look at it as I'm aging or I'm aging out of things or I, you know, think of it as I'm becoming whatever the F I want to become. Yeah. Because the only person that is a whole thing. holding you back as you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:24 Yeah. I talk about that all the time. Like, you know, I talk about sort of like a, what's the difference between a B plus life and an A life, right? B plus is good enough, right? Mm-hmm. I like a B-plus. Right?
Starting point is 00:47:39 B-plus is fine. Mm-hmm. But if you have the opportunity for A, how would you do it differently? Right? I mean, look, I'm going to be 48 this week. My birthday's in two days. Happy birthday. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:47:52 I have never, and again, I don't have, you know, I'm married and all of that, so I don't have, you know, the situation that others do. But in the last 18 months, I've completely reinvented myself, even though I had something like normal, right? So I have my day job of being an executive search consultant and running a global practice and all of that. And then I started doing all the social media stuff. And now I have a media company and I have 10 employees and like I'm running around town and I'm writing a book and all this. Like I've never done more at the age of 48, which is why I say like combating ageism is not a thing. Right. Like you can do so much.
Starting point is 00:48:42 You just don't know what you're capable of until you try. I'm clapping for that one. Oh, it's so good. You are so wonderful. If people want to work with you, DiPali, how do they do that? What do they need to do? So I'm known as the elite recruiter online on Instagram and TikTok, and then DiPolyViViS.com. And we do help people rewrite their resumes and get career coaching and all of that stuff.
Starting point is 00:49:10 And I have a fabulous team, handpicked industry experts. We do not. I pick top-level people that have been in hiring decisions in order to help people in a very real way, because I don't believe in, like, theory. Gorgeous. Thank you. You guys, look her up. Jenny, thank you so much. And thank you for letting me have my little fan girl moment with you.
Starting point is 00:49:35 Oh, my God, no problem. I was happy that I was here for it. Thank you so much for being on this pod. Everybody's going to love it. Thank you. You appreciate you. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too. Are you newly divorced and getting your career back on track? Are you having huge success with your career in Chapter 2? And you want to share your experience. Send us an email or leave us a voicemail. All the info is in the show
Starting point is 00:50:02 notes. Follow us on socials. I do part two. An IHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective. Hey everybody. I'm Syrika Foster Brasvey. What's up y'all? I'm I'm your girl, Cheryl Swoops. When you tune in to a new episode of our podcast, Levels to this, you're definitely going to get some spicedy WNBA analysis. But we're more than just hoops. And the real conversation is what we actually breathe. It's been really, really cool seeing kind of these women
Starting point is 00:50:45 just really step into their power off the court and understand that they aren't basketball, right? And they're not asking for permission. Listen to levels to this with Shrews, whoops, and Tarika Foster Brasby on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey there, Amy Roboc and TJ Holmes here from the Amy and TJ podcast where we are doing the exact opposite of taking a summer vacation. Yeah, I can't do that. There's entirely too much going on in the world right now to not be talking about all this stuff. Come along with us every morning for our morning run. Then keep an eye on the Amy and TJ podcast feed. We can, give you a steady stream of episodes daily with conversations that allow us to go deeper and, yeah,
Starting point is 00:51:27 sometimes go at it. Listen to Amy and T.J. on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Can superstars even exist the way they used to? 2016 was sort of that last era of monoculture where we still consume things in community. Everybody wanted to be Beyonce at that point. I don't think we'll ever see another beyond. What does it mean to be black and eat in America? You will never make me feel bad for being a black girl, for being a black American girl, ever.
Starting point is 00:51:57 From music to food to the conversations shaping black culture right now, therapy for black girls is bringing it all to the mic. Listen to therapy for black girls on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hello, my love. I'm Ryan Weiss, and for the past 15 years, I've been an emotional intelligence coach and a spiritual guide, and I'm sharing with you my new podcast, Waking Up with Ryan. Waking Up with Ryan is a daily audio video podcast here to help you connect with yourself before the noise of the day takes over. So let's start our days together with a
Starting point is 00:52:32 moment of calm that's just for you. Listen to Waking Up with Ryan on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.

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