The Ben and Emil Show - BAES 168: The sad truth about Meta's big teen settlement

Episode Date: September 3, 2026

Meta settled a massive lawsuit just days into the trial. But the headlines are misleading...the boys uncover the truth. For bonus episodes, discord access, fan Q&A, merch, Ben's monthly playlist, and to support the show: https://benandemilshow.com/ Give this video a thumbs up if you enjoyed it! And please leave us a comment! It helps us! For all you audio freaks: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/7M0vN85aGO0zdh62hyg03I Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-ben-and-emil-show/id1693270208 Amazon: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/51280f1b-2fbd-4ea9-bdde-e96f70b5b1ae/the-ben-and-emil-show iHeart: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-the-ben-and-emil-show-117763570/ Follow us! TikTok - https://tiktok.com/@thebenandemilshow Instagram - https://instagram.com/benandemilshow Twitter - https://x.com/benandemilshow Ben - https://instagram.com/bencahn Emil - https://instagram.com/emilderosa https://www.youtube.com/emilderosa https://substack.com/@emilderosa Our newest acid video is out now so check it out! https://youtu.be/7vkFY3f5kkw Some other videos of ours you may enjoy: https://youtu.be/qX4pks0ASq8 https://youtu.be/_VOVxt3ZtIE https://youtu.be/5wsoc5pieuA https://youtu.be/dTbEk0pVh2w https://youtu.be/yGSs56bFzRU https://youtu.be/cIHWkY35cuc https://youtu.be/zBvVGHZBpMw https://youtu.be/1ZUWTkWV_MM https://youtu.be/_cM1XqA9n2U Chapters: 00:00 Intro 04:50 What the case is 11:50 Pop quiz 15:07 Superpower ad 16:54 Star witnesses 23:14 New teen restrictions 28:34 Meta calls out TikTok and Google 31:00 Loopholes 43:50 Tobacco connection 54:00 Chatbot addiction 1:00:00 Bald drugs __ SUPERPOWER: Head to https://Superpower.com and use code BAES at checkout for $50 off your membership. Get 150+ biomarkers tested, a personalized health plan and on-demand care team. Detect early signs of 1,000+ conditions. #superpowerpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Are you addicted to Facebook? Yeah. Are you on Twitter and Facebook? Have you experienced pain and suffering due to the like button? Meta's being sued. X is being sued. YouTube's being sued. Whoever's being sued.

Usually a lot doesn't come out of it. This one... So much, Kuhn. From it. There's so much Kuh. Meta designed this platform... Facebook and Instagram. To be intentionally addictive to children.

You know, citing features like the Infinite Scroll as purposely engineered to young users, not just young users. I mean... Everybody. Come on, look at me. You know you've been endlessly scrolling. Yeah. Who hasn't? Yeah. Section 230. You can't sue us. Sorry. We're not responsible. Which, the internet would basically be unusable without it,

because no one would be able to publish anything online without being liable for things other people are saying. But this is now changing because clearly they are becoming responsible for the way they design their products, not necessarily the content they're in. They never broke it down by app. So who knows, when you say social media, you don't know what apps these teens are using.

Have you checked All Trails? These kids are crazy about... All Trails. Maybe All Trails is making your daughter suicidal. Are you sure... Wait, wait. Was your teen on All Trails? Or MapQuest, perhaps?

Boy, oh, what's going on, everybody? What is going on? Wow. What a week. I just got scolded for being a bad boy. You got scolded for being a bad boy. Hey guys, if you want to know what's going on, you came to the right place. My name Ben.

I'm Amel, the bad boy of the show. The bad boy of the show. And this week, we are covering everything you need to know about Meta's big settlement. And I... Spoiler alert. They fixed it. Everything's good now. Everything's good now.

Don't worry. There are some loopholes. There are some funny, nitty-gritty details that you guys will find interesting just as well as I did when I poured through the judgment last night. Oh boy, boy. I got, you should see my notes here. Babu. I can see him. It's a lot of, uh, that old kind of stuff from the 2000s where it's like

you used equal signs and stuff to make penises. Oh, Askey art? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I remember getting one of those. Um, there was a thing that you could do in, uh, in a, what was it called? AOL instant messenger. And you could flood chat rooms with like a giant stick figure guy holding a big, you were doing that kind of stuff? He's a sicko.

They were called punters. They were cool. and it felt like I was a hacker. I was like, whoa, this is cool. Anyway, but before we get into that, join us in the bonus, won't you,

and support the show, Ben and Emielshow.com. I'm going to be talking about how I fell on some rocks last week and injured myself. Fell on my back, somehow injured my front rib, and that's why it was painful

for me to sneeze just now before we started. I think I have a cracked rib. He's not very good. He's not very fun. But, and I'm going to tell Ben, all about my new favorite video game.

that's exciting. Gamer Emil? What? Amil has entered his gamer era. And then also joining the website because we're doing Q&A today. That's just for subscribers only.

And if you miss that, too bad so sad. And maybe next time. Also, our Costco video, the extended version is up there. People are losing their minds. People are absolutely going freak. Freak mode.

Freak mode. They love Costco. I wish I had taken a shower before that video. God damn it, man. whatever. Anyway, also, what else is? The last week's episode was a veritable banger. Everybody's going crazy for it. They're saying

that it's classic Ben and Emile show stuff. That's what I'm hearing. The bitch is back. Elton John style. Elton John style. Okay, Meta, Mark Zuckerberg. Are you guys familiar with Meta? Yeah, you're familiar with this company? Do you know what that is? You ever heard of a little thing called FacePage? Your grandma's on it? Maybe she's not. Maybe she's dead like mine. All my grandmas are dead.

If we're talking about Facebook, your grandma probably is on it. Not mine. Well, not your dead. Again, not mine. If your grandma's dead, she's probably not on it. I think even when they were both alive, they weren't on it. One had Alzheimer's. My grandma's died pretty early.

I don't think they were on Facebook. Are your grandpa's any of your grandpa's still alive? Nope. No. Same too, dude. Dead grandparents. Everyone's dead. I'm going to get that anti-blank, blank club, anti-grandparent dead grandparent.

Dead Grandparent Club. Anti-grandparent dead grandparent? Oh, man. I don't cut that one out. Let's start out with a... So what was this case about? It was about allegations of meta-violating consumer and child data protection laws and that the company lied to the public about the risks that the platforms have.

We've probably talked about it on the show before. This has been going on, I believe this started in like 2023. There was a different case in L.A. that I'll get to, actually. But yeah, it's been going on for some time. Well, no, I know. I'm not referencing the different case. I'm referencing this one. It's been going on for a very long time. It originally was 29 states. It's expanded to pretty much everyone. It's 47 states plus D.C., Puerto Rico, American-Smoa, and you know Northern Mariana Islands is like, protect these kids. Hey, we want to get into. But yeah, they're basically saying meta-designed this platform, or their platforms. to be intentionally addictive to children, you know, citing features like the infinite scroll

as purposely engineered to keep young users, not just young users, I mean... Everybody. Come on, look at me, you know you've been endlessly scrolling. Yeah. Who hasn't? Yeah. And that they misled the public and consumers about how safe the platforms actually were for adolescents.

So here's an interesting, quick little fact. Federal law section 230. Oh, the other thing is the personal data. We can't forget, because that's a big part of it, where... you know, that they're improperly collecting and monetizing children's personal data. So, yeah, that's the heart of it, that they intentionally design these things for compulsive use. So federal law section 230 of the Communications Decency Act of Act of 1996 previously stopped a lot of these lawsuits because that section dictates that online platforms aren't responsible for the content that people post. Yeah, section 230 comes up.

I mean, this has been like a years long. Everyone talks about Section 230. It's like the heart of the internet, basically meaning... Section 230, you can't sue us. Sorry. We're not responsible. Which, the internet would basically be unusable without it because no one would be able to publish anything online

without being liable for things other people are saying. Right. But this is now changing because clearly they are becoming responsible for the way they design their product. not necessarily the content they're in. So, for example, Snapchat was sued and settled in 2023 for people speeding because they had the speedometer thing. So that was an example. Well, explain what you mean.

It was a filter where it was a filter where it showed your actual speed. So young idiots. Like, you know, when people will post it, I mean, basically your location thing where you post a story where you have your location or people will post like a little. No one does it anymore. It was very common to put a little like temperature thing. Remember that? Oh, yeah. You don't see that much these days.

72 degrees. Wow. What a nice day you're having, David. I actually, one of the best ones, it was going to be incredible. I was in Nice, France. I was going to say France. It's actually nice. I was in Nice France.

And it was coming up on 4.20 p.m. Dude. And it was almost 69 degrees. Dude. And my friend that I was with was very excited about screenshoting 69 degrees at 420 in nice. It's cool you went to France with a loser. And wouldn't you know it? It was 70 degrees and it was just staying there, staying there, staying there.

And minute by minute. And then at like 425, it finally ticked down to 69. So anyway. What a nightmare when you can't capture that. I know, man. But so Snapchat's was sued. They settled. They tried doing Section 230 and they failed. Grindr, which you're very familiar with, had a case thrown out. be a power user. They had a case thrown out because there was a there was a disgruntled X on there. Some guys disgruntled X kept set up a profile for the X and kept having strangers show up to his ex's house, like a harassment thing.

But Grindr was not found liable. And like I said, just as recently as this year in Los Angeles, a woman sued and beat Meta and Google, which makes me want to fucking try. because she was awarded $6 million in damages. What's that? What are you going to sue them for? Well, she sued them for deliberately designing their shit to be addictive. Your shit is addictive.

And that's my legal argument. Give me my money now. And that could, that's actually that case kind of helped color or was a rather, not a precursor, but was foreshadowing for this case being settled because no doubt the meta lawyers were like shit this lady just won in LA there have been a ton of these cases

which we were talking about how you know we've been tempted to like talk about any number of them because they make headlines and it'll you'll see a huge headline like landmark case meta's being sued X is being sued YouTube's being sued

whoever's being sued usually a lot doesn't come out of it this one so much con from it there's so much gum. Yeah. That is why we're talking about.

This case actually went to trial. It's been settled. And the settlement is, I mean, I'm going to lead with the money. The money is not the big part, even though it's going to sound like a lot to you. $16.7 billion. But we're talking about meta here.

This is a drop in the bucket. People have done all kinds of weird, weird formulations of like. It's like 120th. of their cap-x for... Or just their revenues. Oh, when it comes to revenue, it's like...

Plus, it's spread out over like 10 years. Right. It's going to mean absolutely nothing to them. Don't even think about the money. I mean, or do. The money's important because of the way it's split up. That's $16.7 billion. It's not really $16.7 billion.

It's $12.7 billion, paid out over 10 years, and up to another $5 billion that's contingent on... Whether Snapchat, TikTok, YouTube, adopt similar child safety protections that we're going to get to that meta is implementing. Quick quiz before we go into the recap. Pop quiz hot shot. Pop quiz for you, hot shot. How many daily active users did Meta report in July of this year just for Instagram? I mean, daily active users. Got to be over a billion probably. Good. It is over a billion. It's a quarter of the Earth's population at 2 billion daily active users on Instagram

Let that Somebody call Elon Musk And let that sink in Why Elon Musk? Because he's the guy He's the meme master, dude It's so fucking funny Remember when he brought in the sink

When he bought Twitter? Dude, huge shout out to Elon Oh man, the funniest fucking guy He's a regular Tony Stark And yes, six in ten teens in the United States say that they use it, with, I believe, five in ten roughly, saying they use it every day. Okay. So let's recap this court case, shall we? It resolved the claims from 47 states in those territories, and it cut short the trial that had just started in Oakland a week prior to it being settled. there were several people that testified, including and especially the head of Instagram, Adam Mosseri. Love that freak.

Something about him, I just, I don't know. Is it the fact that like every few months he makes a direct-to-camera Instagram video where he goes, hey, we heard you. We know you don't like the new features, but they're addictive and we're not removing them. So go fuck yourself. Yeah, that's pretty good. Hey, that's pretty good. You sound just like him.

He does that basically every. I remember, like, specific ones where he's just like, we're not doing anything about it. We heard you, and we see your complaints. We see all of them. Suck our collective dick. He said, he testified that they had a feature called Take a Break. Which I'm like, where?

Yeah, exactly, brother. With a pop-up message that he said that he regrets that they didn't start it sooner because they started it in 2021. But it's been... And he said that more, he wished more people used it. That's because you had to opt into it. Oh, okay. You had to opt in.

Got it. And he said that he did, and I agree with this. He said that there's no silver bullet and you have to do many things that add up before, you know, before you can have a meaningful effect on the brains of teenage girls. I do think there is a silver bullet. You think so? Yes, there is. No, it's never going to happen. Is that like, I mean, as we're going to get to, I don't want to jump too far ahead.

This is not going to amount to anything. but there are things we can do it's just never going to happen like number one is just like data privacy laws they cannot they cannot do the things they do all of these algorithms and stuff without violating everyone's privacy

in a massive way but it would hurt their profits too much it would hurt their profits there's no political will I mean this is this is the best we can get I think is like this kind of you know we'll get to it the Australian bands and all that kind of stuff

people cheer it on but like you know we're talking about getting old ass congress members to be like

no what we really need is comprehensive data data privacy laws let me ask you if someone clicks a like button why is it a heart they're asking shit like that that's just like huh

what what now what what font are you using on there what size is the fun. Hey guys, we got to take a quick break to talk about a sponsor of this show

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For a limited time, our listeners get $50 off to unlock their membership. Head over to superpower.com and use code Bays for $50 off your superpower membership. And after you sign up, they'll ask you how you heard about superpower. Tell them that Ben and the Meals show sent you to support the show. This is a bad bit. All right. So then they had a, this guy was the big one. He was the, he was the prosecution's star, star witness.

former Facebook safety engineer, a guy named Arturo Behar. He was a key whistleblower. He testified for a whopping two days. He said that Mark Zuckerberg was directly responsible for the company culture that valued user numbers over delivering any kind of features that addressed well-being and safety issues, which Mark, you know, then fucking lied about. This guy called him out. Arturo testified in 2023 before a Senate committee that it pushed content to teens. that promoted bullying, drug abuse, eating disorders, and self-harm. Okay, all the cool stuff.

All the cool shit. He pointed out that, like we said, you needed to turn the features on, and he equated it to needing to turn on an airbag every time you drive. I mean, they didn't even... Until we started looking into this, I had no idea that existed. Me neither. I've been on Instagram for, I mean, how many years... I've received no information about this.

I would have no idea... I don't even know. I'm sure it's in setting somewhere, but I've never seen... Well, they did in 2024. They made it a default on teen accounts, which were also introduced that year, the teen accounts. And the defense pointed out that it was only made that the defense pointed that out, that, hey, we, we fucking implemented that in 2024. But then it was pointed out that, yeah, you only did that after being sued in 2023.

So do you really fucking care? No. Part of the... Also, Arturo is dropping all kinds of... Oh, nukes. he's incredible, but he was talking about the, well, I'll save it for when we actually get to the important part of the settlement. So part of what they were, meta was accused of is withholding information from users and parents who might have benefited from knowing the ineffectiveness of these features, which is also a violation of consumer protection laws. And as a parent, not yet.

But if I were a parent and I had a teen using that shit, I would want to know all this stuff. But, you know, parents are stupid and parents are lazy and parents are all kinds of things. Trust me, I got family, like so many family members are teachers. I got friends who are teachers. Their number one complaint is that shitty kids come from shitty parents. Whoa. And a lot of parents do be shitty these days. The prosecution also had this woman named Jean Twinge.

Jean Twinge. Jean Twinge. What is that? That's... And twins. She's an S. San Diego State University psychology professor and social psychologist who was an expert witness regarding the link between adolescent social media use, depression, and self-harm,

all of which increased 5% in a 100,000-person study. And she noted that girls in particular from ages 20 to 17 had the largest spike in mental health effects and were more likely to self-harm due to increased use of technology, including social media, use. That's why I don't understand why they even let this thing go to trial. I don't know why they didn't just settle before all this shit came out. Also, it's not going to make a fuck a difference. So whatever.

She pointed out also that before social media, boys were more likely to die by suicide than girls. But the rates increased during the 2010s when social media started to ramp up. And the defense, man, reading some of these defense statements, it feels so like, okay, I guess but fuck dude come on because they said well that study never broke it they never broke it down by app

so who knows when you say social media you don't know what apps these teens are using have you checked alt trails these kids are crazy about fucking all trails maybe alt trails is making your daughter suicidal are you sure wait wait wait where's your teen on all trails or MapQuest perhaps

and they didn't and they said that it didn't show ample causation and didn't distinguish between social media and other tech like gaming. Hey, maybe your daughter, maybe your 12-year-old daughter is playing too much freaking Grand Theft Auto 5.

Could be. Or Roblox. And that's not even one with, that's not the one with the hot Latina on it yet. Oh man, don't even get me started on that hot Latina. Don't even get started on the hot Latina in GTA 6. This is my favorite part, though.

So the defense said, even if 20% of teens surveyed are unhappy after two hours of social media use, well, then, Your Honor, 80% would have to be happy with social media use or have no impact on their happiness at all. Brilliant. Isn't that such a brilliant defense? Let's see, if 20% of teens are unhappy, that must be that 80% are happy. We're making 80% of teens happy.

Yeah, that should be the headline here, Your Honor. Show me the happiness percentage on all trails, Your Honor. and Zuck, he never took the stand. He fortunately, God, got by the skin of his teeth. Because if he took the stand, that would have been a disaster. I am sure. Congresswoman. Yeah.

Well, Congresswoman. I'm not sure about that Congresswoman. Let me consult with my interdimensional counsel and get back to you. Can we get to the meat of this settlement? because this is the most important part. This is, this is, they're trying to,

so we talked about that money piece. That's not going to make a difference to meta. Don't get too hung up on the 16.7 billion. I mean, the contingent $5 billion is interesting. I'm curious what's going to happen. And meta is putting the screws to their competitors

and trying to get them to get on board. Because why would you not? Because when you see what they're implementing, I love that these changes are for Facebook, by the way. Facebook and Instagram for teens. Anyone under 18, rather. Who the fuck is using Facebook? A big one, daily time limits.

Teen accounts capped at two hours of feed access per day on Facebook and Instagram. Oh, frick. Two hours. Which Arturo did say, it's basically like saying you only get, like if you're admitting that these are harmful to teens, he's like, so you're basically being like,

okay, you only get two hours of alcohol or two hours of cigarettes a day. Which is, I mean, I have to agree with them. It's a little silly to be like, it's absolutely fucked. We have to control this. And it's like, you get two hours. You get two hours of the thing

that makes you kill yourself, okay? So use your time on all trails wide. Your kids are addicted to all trills. And then they have nighttime blocks, feeds unavailable to teens from midnight to 6 a.m. Which they should do for the entire internet. Well, shut off the internet from midnight to 6.

It's been fascinating watching adults see these, changes come out and be like, I want to lie and get a teen account. I want, I want to these things. I don't want to be on it for. Yeah, I want to lie and talk to other teens. Adults don't need more than two hours on this thing. Uh, adults, no, don't need access to this thing for midnight to six hours. God, there's nothing worse than being like in the throes of some kind of like anxious or depressive bout and you, you know, you can't sleep and it's just like, all right. I'm comparing myself to some Instagram comedian at one in the morning. Let's, let's let's see what Instagram's got for me. This guy's so much more attractive than me in

every way. He looks like an alternate dimension version of me. I am a fucking loser. This is what my life would have been like if I made better choices. Yes. All the time. And it's nice because now I have to never, I don't have to sleep because I have my friend Instagram. Yeah. They've got prompts and notifications to teens every

15 minutes of continuous screen time. They're doing mindfulness reminders. Yeah. Then I'm sure teens won't ignore. They won't ignore those. This one's interesting. Limits on social comparison features including beauty filters and visible light counts that have been linked to poor mental health outcomes for kids.

I like that. I don't think there's any reason for... Dude, I was at a Dodgers game recently and I just... I kept seeing... I don't know how old they were. Maybe like early 20s. Okay. They kept taking selfies and I was like,

it's so weird that they're just like defaulting to, you know, yossifying themselves. I feel like it started out being a funny thing, but then it's just... And now people just do it as a default. Yeah. I've taken someone's phone. It was like a family member. They were like, oh, we should take a selfie, whatever. And I looked at the phone and I was like, whoa, what the fuck?

Don't do that to me. I don't want to look like that. Yeah. Show me my ugly face. But I can't imagine what that's like for children. Oh, yeah. To be constantly doing that to yourself. And the light counts, yeah, of course. I mean...

It also silences the notifications from 10 p.m. to 7 a.m. It has school mode, which is where the app shoots you with a gun. Let me go school. Thank you. Really nice. Yeah. No, just kidding. It stuffs you into a locker.

But that means that push notifications are blocked from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. Yeah, while you're supposed to be in school, learning stuff. Learning about how to get around these things. There is a loophole, which is that the daily limit excludes long form content, which is video or audio that's at least 22 minutes. in length that meta has determined, predetermined, was not artificially extended because this agreement does anticipate that. So it can't be like, so like those sneaky brands and stuff can't pad it with like extra

shit. It's got to be legitimate long form content like podcasts. We're allowed to infect your children's brains. Yeah, we're allowed to infect your children's brains. And there's some things that it like specifically doesn't change, right? It doesn't require meta to abandon the personalized recommendation algorithms or, or, you know, the targeted advertising to minors. That's still all good.

Just two hours a day. And make sure you're doing it at the right times. Okay? So the core business model intact. I feel like this will actually improve meta's bottom line because now think about it. Advertisers are like, I want to advertise. You got kids for two hours a day, okay? Yeah.

They're going to get the most laser focused ads. And yeah, it doesn't address the like MetaZone internal researchers flagging, particularly harmful, the post that made it. Instagramers, Instagram users feel bad about their body. It's not doing anything to like go after the party poopers. That actual content. Yeah. Yeah.

And it, it leaves most of it intact. It just leaves you with this kind of like time limited, very specific meta. Oh, it gets worse. Yeah. So meta, of course, didn't admit. Also, meta doesn't deny any wrongdoing. That's a big part of the subject.

No, they do. They deny all wrongdoing. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. Um, uh, Texas. Oh yeah, sorry. I said it. Doesn't get it. Yeah. Doesn't deny, but they do deny.

Interestingly, there was a $459 million privacy settlement related to the Cambridge Analytica case that was sort of tacked on here. Yeah. People have been saying like $17 billion because they're like tacking that $500 million on. Yeah. But they're, they're separate things. And all of the funds that are these fines, all of the funds are earmarked for prevention and remediation of social media related mental health. problems. And then, yeah, Meta made a public letter to Snapchat, YouTube, and TikTok to join them in this thing, saying basically that this will only work if they all do it, because knowing teens, they'll just jump to another app, which is their big plea here.

And it's interesting because, okay, so you talked about the contingency. It's a $5.3 billion contingent trunch. And what that means is that the states that won will only get its $10 billion total. Five coming from actually only YouTube and TikTok because the companies have to meet a profit threshold of $10 billion annually

and SNAP doesn't meet that criteria. Which is the most embarrassing thing. Snap's like, God, we're too big of a failure to even be regulated. Dude, truly. It's so funny. Oh, man. Didn't you guys see our glasses?

Teens are going to be wanting those. Yeah. So if YouTube and TikTok implement the daily time limits, the age assurance measures, and night mode, they will match with $10 billion, half from YouTube and half from TikTok. And that would also decrease the daily cap to 60 minutes instead of two hours. So if all of these, if the other guys join, it'll make it more strict. So it's like, gee, should we force ourselves to cap the use of our like prime young users and pay $5 billion? Hmm. What a choice.

It's tricky. It's tricky. But, you know, obviously there's a bit of a precedent here. So maybe they could save themselves the headache and just do the $5 billion and hop on board. It's tough to say. If they all agree, yeah, meta drops their daily use to 60 minutes. With the night block also widened instead of midnight to 6 a.m. It would become 10 p.m. to 7 a.m.

I want that, too. Give me that teen account, baby. So here's the worst. I basically do that to myself with an app called Opel. Called Opel? Yeah. Oh, that's right. Yeah. You love it. You love Brick. Anything.

I don't, like, my screen time on my phone, it's like 90 minutes a day. Um, so there's another loophole in here. And that's mostly watching porn. There are too many porn sites to even begin to regulate all those things. A guy who's trying to make it clear doesn't use social media. That's mostly porn. Yeah. I'm watching.

Oh, don't worry about it. Yeah, it's mostly porn. I'm not like on Instagram. I'm not addicted to Instagram. That's gross. I'm watching a lot of porn. Yeah. So if a new platform comes along, because I got to hand it to these lawyers, they really did think of everything.

If a new platform comes along and hits 5 million. monthly active teen users for four months straight, and those teen users use that app for an average of over 30 minutes, which is very, very hard to do, as it turns out. The industry-wide adoption of this new rule, so let's say YouTube and TikTok adopted that new rule, and they joined the cause. If a new platform comes along and fails to,

to comply, then the industry-wide adoption turns off. And it defaults back to that phase one. And it's just meta. And it's the two-hour time limit. And it's the 12 to 6. And Google and TikTok are essentially released from that. And it begs the question, like, why would they fucking, why would they, that seems like a weird kind of poison pill that they would throw in there.

So, yeah. A new platform basically is going to be incentivized to voluntarily accept and join this, the cohort, the, what do they call it, the industry-wide adoption, right? Because otherwise, they're like, okay, we're the new guy in town. We've seen what happened to META. We've seen all these lawsuits. It's in our best interest to just join this thing because we've got nothing to lose. We don't have to pay.

We just adopt these things. And also, META has to give written notice and meet. and confer in good faith with that new company and dispute and handle the dispute in a way that is, dude, it's so convoluted. Yeah, it is convoluted. I mean, if they want to have any impact, they need to have, like, actual legislation and not just this weird, this weird rules. People have pointed out a number of things. One, you know, they had, they had a 2019 privacy suit where they settled and, you know, promised to change things. This all hinges on actual enforcement, right? If no one's enforcing it, it doesn't matter.

People have also been comparing it to the, you've heard of the Australian, like under 16s band. They're just outright band. We don't want our kids on there. Don't want them. Under 16? No. But people are rightly pointing out, it's had little to no effect. It's had little to no effect.

These little guys just get past it. It's not a half. And people, that's the thing. People are like broadly supportive of these things. They're like, this is a good idea, right? Like getting kids off these things that have pretty negative effects on their. mental health is a good thing. But it doesn't really do anything.

So, you know, this is the first national law like this of its kind takes place December 10th, 2025. Not working, okay? So their own, Australia's own internet regulator, e-safety. They published a study finding that more than 8 and 10 Australian under 16s

are continuing to use social media despite being banned from doing so. Fuck us. Most children aged 10 to 15 were using social media just as frequently in March 2026. as they had before the band took effect. And this is from e-safety.

Most under-16s who had social media accounts before commencement were able to either retain them or create new ones at the three-month mark with social media platforms, failure to implement effective age assurance measures cited as the main reason. Wow. In other words, the law exists, but the actual technical verification that's supposed to enforce it doesn't work well enough to stop kids who want to get around it.

Yeah. and they're like using it's it's like silly it's not even that hard some are just straight up using their parents' face or facial recognition for age checks one 14 year old told the Washington Post before the band

the band even took effect that she planned to use her mother's face ID to log into Snapchat and Instagram mom can you look at my phone please why dear what's me there I just nothing else want to take a photo of you so beautiful a Reddit thread it's not forgetting on social media

suggesting suggested printed mesh face masks from face masks from Timu to full facial recognition to us. Jesus Christ, dude. And then VPNs, of course. And then the other thing is that a lot of people were just migrating to other platforms that weren't a part of the ban. That's obviously a fear with this.

If kids get frustrated with it, which I don't think they will because I think it's going to be a similar thing. You could tell meta it has to do all this stuff, but meta still has to go and do all the work of figuring out who has a teen account and who is a verified adult. And it's proven very difficult for them to do. And so, but even if they do, even if they do it,

it just means teens are going to spend time in other places. For now, if YouTube and TikTok don't join, they'll spend more time on TikTok. Yeah. If they're, if they're blocked during school hours or whatever, okay, TikTok's not. Yeah.

And then they're going to release like, what was it, Lemonate or whatever? the like weird TikTok replacement when they were getting nervous about China taking over TikTok but yeah they'll just find places they'll spend more time on Discord

they'll spend more time on whatever platform well a couple things real fast I just I got to underscore again this loophole and what you just said about Discord is another little kind of loophole not necessarily from meta but again

So imagine if a new social media platform comes online, meta has two phases. I'm imagining it's that first phase, which they've already got, which is those, the new rules and stuff. And then it becomes even more restrictive, which meta obviously doesn't want, if Google and TikTok come on board. But so if a third party who they can't control what they do comes along,

meta has to basically, in writing, be like, hey, because there's a third party. third party arbitrator or auditor. Hey, third party auditor, look, there's this new entrant coming along. They have to comply also. And if they don't, we automatically get to get kicked back down to phase one again, which is obviously more preferable because it doubles the amount of time and stuff. But the exclusions to all of this are products whose primary function is DMing, video editing,

VR, gaming, or AI features like chatbox or interaction with AI. Right, they'll just go to other places. Discord is a huge one. Roblox was a big one, I think, for teens who didn't get around the workaround in Australia. Yeah. You're not saving kids from, you know,

being on harmful internet platforms. Yeah. There was another thing here. Let's see. Page six. So page six of the judgment. Oh, that's seven. There we go.

Page six. B, C, and D. So there are miscellaneous provisions. And unfortunately, you would think, folks, that these rules are forever, right? I don't know. No. No, because listen to this. Unless otherwise specified in the agreement, the obligations of this consent judgment shall expire 10 years from the effective date.

upon expiration, the parties shall have no further obligations under this consent judgment or the agreement. So you heard that right. This thing expires. Yeah, but it only takes a decade for these people to break their social media addiction. That's true. We've fixed it all. This is also, like we said, it does not constitute an admission by defendant of any liability, wrongdoing, or violation of any local, state, federal, or international law. nothing in this consent judgment or the agreement shall be construed to apply to establish a standard of care for

or serve as precedent in any non-participating U.S. state or any international jurisdiction whatsoever. So basically, this judgment is confined to this case only. And of the thousands, hundreds and thousands of other pending lawsuits, they can't, I don't know how you do that. I do believe Florida has come out and said that, They're continuing their case and they're not, they're not content. Yep.

Got it. They're not content with this. Yeah, here we go. It is the intent of the parties that this judgment not be admissible in other cases against the defendant, aka meta, or binding on defendant in any respect other than in connection with the enforcement of this consent judgment or the agreement. Yeah. Florida is the only state to completely reject the deal, choosing instead to continue its own separate legal battle over youth media addiction. social media addiction. Let's see.

And then page six... And I wish them the best of luck, honestly. Page 16, actually, if you search a minimum... Where is it? Each core industry member and any such new social media platform entrant, like I mentioned earlier, as of the date, it would otherwise satisfy the requirements of this definition of industry-wide adoption is subject to,

is subject to for a minimum term of five years. So it's actually only a minimum term of five years with a maximum of 10. So it's really not, it's really not that bad for these fucking companies. This is nothing new. It's classic slap on the wrist. You know, they're going to, they're getting their headlines. The Adam Masari and Mark Zuckerberg are going to be able to have a, their beautiful moment on TV when they get asked about these things and being like, hey, we're fully compliant. with the deals of the settlement.

We are happy to implement these things. We're happy to protect teens. Meanwhile, that's not what's happening. We'll see. It only extends to 10 years if the other companies get on board, which is pretty fun. So minimum of five years for meta. And if Google and TikTok...

Balls in your court, TikTok YouTube. Yeah, balls in your court. Do you care about teens? Or do you want them to keep off? in themselves. That's what I would put if I were Mark Zuckerberg in the thing, hey, we care about teens. We're doing this. Yeah, we were forced to, but we care.

We care about teens. We care so much that we're trying to get you on board our competitors. We did this whole thing to get them to do it. We knew if we didn't, if it didn't happen to us, they were never going to agree with it. That's why we did it. So this was pretty

surprising to me. I thought that this was comparable to tobacco, the big tobacco thing. Not at Oh, man. Oh, I mean, when you read it, a lot of people were making that comparison. When you read about it, you're like, oh, we used to be able to like defang companies. And dude, there was a, I mean, okay, so not to get ahead of ourselves, but if you weren't alive back then or don't remember, in the mid-90s, there was a similar thing where it was like 40-something states sued the tobacco industry to recover Medicaid and public health care costs that the states were incurring due to smoking. related illnesses. And similarly,

it was like there was a lot of I mean, decades of like individual suits where the tobacco company's just gone, hey man. Or Philip Morris, man. Take it up with Philip. Personal responsibility. Okay, you knew smoke was bad. That one's on you,

brother. Yeah. I didn't make you pick up the cigarettes. Yeah. Guns don't people. Just because you like this cool camel. That's on you, my guy. And the states figured well, we can basically sue them for, you know, there's no personal responsibility on us, but we're bearing the burden of paying all these,

um, all these hospital and health care bills for people who are sick from smoking related illnesses. And they got a massive settlement. $200 billion. Well, the money aside, like the actual changes,

I do think they're permanent. Permanent and had a massive impact. I mean, you're talking about the re if you're a young person the reason you don't see tobacco brand splashed all over everything is because of this suit okay so they banned uh tobacco companies from targeting youth in any advertising promotion or marketing and they banned uh they were banned from taking any action aimed at initiating maintaining or increasing youth smoking specifically uh it eliminated all outdoor billboard and public transport uh cigarette advertising

entirely. I remember driving down the street and seeing Joe Camel billboards. I remember massive, like, it was like Newport Fresh or something. The green with the orange background. Sexy ladies enjoying a Newport on the beach. Yeah. Oh, always sexy ladies. I mean, cool guys and sexy. The Marlboro man. Yeah. God, dude. All over, I mean, the New Jersey Turnpike, when I was driving as a child, just, damn, I got to start smoking because you get to hang out with sexy ladies. You know, banned cigarette brand names on on merchandise. So no more of the, look at that. You kidding me?

I mean, that's an old one. Yeah, that's a little point. So yeah, no more of the like Marlboro T-shirts, the hats, none of that stuff. They also banned new cigarette brands from being named after existing brands. So there wasn't going to be any confusion. Okay, so you couldn't take like an existing cool brand. you couldn't you couldn't license harley davidson and be like hey we're putting out harley davidson cigarettes oh that sounds cool me and my boys on a chopper who needs a who needs a highway billboard

Volvo cigarettes oh i would have bought a carton uh so i mean they were like the swedish a bunch of restrictions uh they also restricted them from opposing state laws related to tobacco control and banned them from lobbying to redirect settlement money away from health-related issues. They were required to disclose internal lobbying activity and financial contributions to state attorneys general. Imagine these tech companies had to expose all of that stuff. And then they also made millions of their internal documents public to people so people could see all the stuff they were hiding. And this made this made further litigation easier. They had to release all their internal documents.

And their stocks were coming. Their stocks are still out there. They're paying dividends. It's not like the shareholders got completely fucking destroyed either. And the last thing it did, it was it funded a public health organization, which we probably know as the Truth initiative, but it was originally the American Legacy Foundation, which was all about... That's a way worse name.

But yeah, all about preventing youth tobacco use. And this stuff worked. I mean, there was a massive... difference in not only smoking. I mean, it plummeted. There were studies. It's gone back up,

unfortunately, because they... It's cool again, because things work in cycles. They made a, they made a very smart decision to get everyone hooked on...

Vapes. And, you know, people who had never used tobacco are now, all of a sudden, addicted to nicotine. But that's another story. But it was,

it was genuinely working. I don't think this is anything, this is anything like, like that. And the depressing thing is it reminds you Like, oh, you know, the American government used to be able to, like, do things. It used to be able to rein in companies.

It wasn't just like, wow, we'd love to help. Well, it sucks because it's all linked to how passive investing and indexing, while good for most people with, you know, steady retirement income and whatnot. These companies are such an integral part of that. They are such, they bear such a heavy load of the stock market. as a whole. I mean, we have video. I mean, not only that, they're so embedded in the government outside of that.

Like, we have video of Mark Zuckerberg from this year being at a summit with Donald Trump. And Donald Trump's going, how much did you say you were going to invest in? And he's like, whatever you want me to say, I'll say it. Just telling what to do.

Yeah. Yeah, I also think it's a little different. I'm sure some people will want to yell at me and be like, we have all these studies and blah. I think the tobacco thing incredibly clear about the deleterious negative impacts on people's health. You know what I mean? I think it's a little bit... I'm not saying it doesn't exist.

I think it's just a bit harder to quantify. It may be a little bit more... That's part of their defense is, hey, how do you know that it's specifically these apps? Because those studies just say social media. Right. They don't specify which social media. Also, it doesn't include things like video games and VR and chat. bots and all that shit.

Right. And just screen time in general and... Yeah. Right. I mean, there are a million and one things you could... You could factor in. I mean, just the general state of the world. I think people are in much worse situations than they were in before.

Like, can you just put all of that onto the... Lay that all at the feet of social media companies? I don't know. But I do think... That's why I'm saying. The stuff, as I was saying earlier, about like comprehensive data reform and stuff. I'm like, that's where you could make a difference.

These people shouldn't be able to push us around like this. I mean, everyone jokes about the like, I was in my car and I said the word, fucking, I don't know, name a product. I said like... Lysol. Computer or whatever. And now all of a sudden, everywhere I look online... It's a terrible example.

God, I said computer. Now all that's showing me is computer. Yeah. It's crazy. And, you know, everyone makes the joke, but it's like, that's twisted. What are you talking about? That shouldn't be happening to us. Yeah.

Yeah. And I think the focus on kids, too, is like a funny thing. I think everyone is, you know, the data privacy shit. Is a big part of it. You should be able to go on the internet without companies collecting massive amounts of data on you. Luke, or, yeah, just put in an interesting question about whether obesity, can eventually be, like whether these snack food companies and whatnot can eventually be targeted for a similar thing.

Oh, don't get me started. I'd love to go after the food industry. It's disgusting. Oh, I would go after freaking Pepperage Farm. I'd go after Mondales, with them Oreos, Skittles. No, no, I mean, just... Mars with the peanut M&Ms. Ooh. I mean, we put... We allow stuff to go into our food that, like, I don't know, pick any European country. They wouldn't allow it to go in their dog food. No. We're like,

yeah. We're disgusting. I mean, yeah, I mean, all of this. I think it's all related, right?

It's, it's, there's no reason why we can't have a regulatory scheme that looks out for Americans. Yeah. And doesn't make them like sick and feel like shit all the time.

And just the scale of how many, how much these companies make. I mean, meta's revenues, annual revenues alone, are bigger, than all of the tobacco companies were valued in the 90s combined probably. I mean, over $200 billion in annual revenues. It's, I believe that either that's their profits or their revenues.

I should know off the top of my head. But yeah. The one thing I am genuinely, I don't know how to square is that like it's gotten to a point now that there are so many people who have built businesses and livelihoods on the backs of these platforms. addictive features? Oh, oh, sure. No, no, no. Yeah, not addictive features. It's just like, it's unfortunately become...

I do my best to not spend that much time on it. Sometimes I'll be with friends and they'll be talking about things and I feel like I'm, it's like a new... It's like a new streaming platform where I'm like, the fuck keep talking about. No, I've never seen that in my life. And they're like, it's so popular. everyone's watching. It's the meme, yeah. It's on Quismo.

No, but it's, but now it's on Instagram. People are like literally doing shows on Instagram. Oh yeah. Like, and people have genuinely built livelihoods in, and it's difficult. That's not,

I don't necessarily want to punish those people. And I don't know how to square that exactly. I do think there are a lot of people. I've seen people talking about this case. In, specifically who have said things like, um, I know it would hurt,

my own livelihood, but I want this to, like, I want these things to be enforced. It's just, I don't think people, people will find other ways. You know, this is not. I just wonder what it could mean for other platforms who could reasonably be accused of having similarly addictive features. Like all trails. Like all trails. Great. Because according to NPR, there are thousands of related cases against social media platforms that are currently working their way through state and federal courts, but also others being filed against not just social media platforms, but video game makers, gambling apps, and chatbots. There are 4,000 pending cases targeting 166 companies. But like I said, because of its own protections built in, it's limited to this case. Examples of what those other

companies are? No, they didn't give any. There's, I mean, there's so many. It's just such a bummer that they can't be sued in any other cases. And this expires in a few. years anyway. It's like... I'm curious if it's going to lead to anything because obviously there's a number of open cases against open AI and anthropic

and whoever because there are tragically a bunch of people who have... Oh yeah. ...killed themselves or maybe committed heinous crimes because of you know the way they've used these platforms and stuff. I'm very curious how...

I feel like it would be very easy to prove that they're addictive because when I've... What, chatbot? Oh, yeah. Like chat GPT, when I was using the basic version for whatever it was a year ago, it kept on, it wouldn't let the conversation end. It would go, I can do also this if you want. And it would feel like, yeah, I guess I do need to know that. Bam, yes. And you know, something else that you might not have thought about this and this. And it's like, okay, cool, thanks. Yeah. And just so you know, here's another thing you may have missed. And it kept on prompting me to want to continue interacting with it. And I could just see that that's just one small example of how I can see it being...

Yeah, I guess I wasn't even going the addiction route. I think, I don't know. The addiction thing is like, well, yeah, I don't know. Well, that's the precedent here. How do you prove that it's a... I'm more like, you know, the harmful impacts on people is clearly... It's tough because it's all anecdotal for now. and there are there probably aren't enough like oh there's no studies on the way

fledged yeah studies that can be pointed to I get but in some cases anecdotes might be good enough take the woman in LA for example who said my life has been destroyed because I was addicted to YouTube and Instagram or YouTube and Facebook I got six million commercial for instead of injury attorneys it's uh dude that would be sick if we were calling up just like the sleazyest lawyers and we were all getting our little piece I got six million because I was addicted to Facebook. I got to start becoming a power user so I can be ready for when the

because you know they're going to check my logs. I'm going to go beat it, dude. We see you got Opel activated. You get nobody. You're not getting anything. That could because, I mean, L.A., I don't know about other major metropolitan cities that are built around driving,

but we got billboards everywhere. Sweet James here, Accidentes, the Mexican guy. Dos, those, those, those, those, those. Morgan and Morgan. You've never seen the. lawyer brothers? Uh-uh.

Actually, maybe I have. There are so many different... And I'm like, first of all, how often are people getting in fucking accidents? Jesus Christ. I mean, I know it's every day. Absolutely. But surely there's not enough... I guess there's enough business to go around.

Not even to mention the ones who specifically catered to like Uber people. Oh, dude, there's a whole... If you were to dig into this, I think you would become... You know, you'd be like Charlie Meme with the... cork board. Oh, my cousin's wife works for... It's like there's quack doctors. There are like chiropractic

offices that are living just off of referrals from the attorneys. It's a whole, like if you started pulling that thread you're not going to like what you find. People do be scamming. They do be scamming. But not us. We never scam.

Do you know anyone who has gotten like I only know, like, friend of friends who have truly gotten, like, settlements? Life-changing amounts. No, my idiot. And they're just like, I don't work anymore. I slept and fell. A friend of ours's cousin got a major settlement, Danny Benachi.

Oh. His cousin was in like a real, like almost killed him, fire at an oil. If you remember that? Yeah, I grew up with a guy who, that's the thing. there are some very real ones. That's the unfortunate thing. They're very real ones. I mean, Tracy Morgan is the biggest one.

He got hit by that like Walmart truck and... I got hit by Walmart. I can't do Tracy Morgan as it turns out. Yeah, I grew up with a guy who, a semi-truck jackknifed and was sliding towards him. Put up his hand just out of what's it called? Impulse instinct, yeah. Whole hand, fucked.

whole arm fucked up, but got like tens of millions. Why do they call him semi-trucks? It's a full truck. It's a full-ass truck. Don't show me the whole thing. If anything, my truck is a semi-truck. Yeah. It's only somewhat of a truck.

My cousin hurt his back, quote-unquote, working as a semi-truck driver for a company called Swift. And he only got like $22,000. Bullshit. an idiot. Why? Because you know what he turned around and he bought with it? Check it out, dude. He shows me on his phone. He bought two guns. There were like seven grand or something. Check it out. Seven, you know, look at these two. The stupid fucking company gave me $22,000. And I'm like, Jesus. Yeah, see, that's the one where I'm like, you know, these. Well, he's. Hey, God bless him. He's living on the street now. So,

Oh, God. Yeah. Okay, I didn't expect it to take that turn. No, he, uh, not good. Uh, anyway. Man, I can't wait to see the commercials. Are you addicted to Facebook? Yeah. Are you on Twitter and Facebook?

Do you, uh, do you, have you experienced pain and suffering due to the like button? Yeah. And the algorithmic infinite scroll? It's very possible. It could be. Who knows? I guess unless they, they have like a big landmark case where you can no longer. The problem is it would just, yeah, it's not.

going to happen. Yeah. And they got so much money, I mean, to fight these things, tooth and nail. Anyway. I would love it. Hey, how about some good news? Bald guys? Huge shout out to my bald guys. My younger brother was one of them. Not anymore. He solved it. He treated it with vanastriid, monoxidil or some shit. I don't know. Do you think there's, well, sorry, go ahead with the... There's an article in Fortune that says, forget GOP-1 drugs. baldness drugs are Wall Street's next gold mine and it's got these two bald guys touching bald heads which is how you greet another bald guy by the way

do you think there's going to be do you think any like Turkish doctors are going to try to sabotage the offices of like or sabotage plants making monoxidil and fanasteride this is their own no because I think it's going to be a combination of hair transplant for some guys and these things oh you need both yeah

But looking at some of these companies, there's one, there's some new treatments. There's one called Veridermics, trades under the ticker symbol Maine, which is always fun when they do a little pun. M-A-N-E, like a lion's man. And they are up 500% since the company went public in February. And then there's another one called Absi, whose stock has more than doubled so far this year. there's one that's based in Zurich called Cosmo NV and they've all got these experimental new treatments that are showing a lot of promise

will it go the way of GLP1s and you know Eli Lilly's market value fucking they're over a trillion dollars it's not that one yeah I looked that up that's it yeah Cosmo Pharmaceuticals and then Maine I don't know how that one was doing yeah It's like $97.

Yeah. Jesus Christ. Valued it. Let's see. Where's their market cap? $4 billion. So, hey, maybe if they figure it out, that'll 10x and become a $40 billion company.

But biotech are such a crapshoot, man. Such a freaking crapshoot. Such a freaking crapshoot. Man. You know what's funny, though? Just real fat. I don't know why I even brought this. 37 employees?

That's it? Interesting. They're all bald. We're sticking our entire lives on this. Yeah. I need this to work. We need it to work. But it's funny, just this social media stuff, the notifications, the push notifications, never any, I've got those turned off on everything.

I've had notifications turned off for, except for, the only thing I have it on for is reminders. I've had notifications turned off, I don't know, since they let you do that. Yeah, I got it. Doug's dreaming right now, by the way. You guys can't hear it, but he's over there going. That's my thing. Give me the Doug notifications on. We're all left to our own devices here, right?

No one's coming to help you. Put the phone down. When I see people, when I see people being like, I want the teen account, I'm like, you can do these things for yourself. Yeah. You can download an app. You can turn off notifications. You can do all these things. You just don't want to.

It is freaky, though. And I'm not trying to be, you know, Ronald Reagan, personal responsibility guy here, but it's like, no one's coming to help. So, and if you are a parent, I've never been a parent, so I'm sure it's very difficult. Don't let your kid have fucking Instagram.

Well, that's the thing is, like, I think about this sometimes. Don't me give him a fucking cell phone. Obviously, I'm not going to have an iPad baby. Well, if you're going to give him a cell phone, give them like a fucking... Give him a flip phone. Here's an Nokia, bitch.

I want my kid... I want my kid to grow up in a simulated 1990s internet. Yeah, why wouldn't you want that? I just want, like,

hey, you know, but what scares me is you can't control what your son or daughter's best friends are doing at their house when they go over there.

Hey, check out this website. It's boobs.com. But they don't live there. So, okay, so they saw some boobs, then they're going to come home

and live their life. I mean, just boobs. It could be all kinds of stuff. They could be looking at his mind over there. They could be looking at all kinds of things. Wait,

why are you losing your mind? No, I just don't, I personally lived through that. I don't think that's how it works because I would go to my friend's house and just, it didn't stop me, you know? Yeah. I just went to my friend's house and did it. Yeah, I had my. But you can't, if you don't have a cell phone at home, how can you be on Instagram all day? No, it's true.

It's not all day, but. Yeah, I guess mine were more for video games. I'm thinking more for, fine. I'm thinking more for violence and porn. I mean, you can't keep your child from experiencing the world. Yes, I can. It's called chain them up. Sure.

I mean, that's the thing. What's the famous quote? Like, if you want, like, if you want security, go to prison or, you know what I mean? It's like... Ooh, that's a good quote. Who said that? I can't remember. It's like some famous quote about how, like, you know, the things you want aren't the things you want.

Yeah. Like, you can't insulate yourselves from bad... The world's a dangerous place. Right. Your kid is going to be exposed to it. Yeah. You can control whether or not he's up in his room... Jerking off.

No, you can't necessarily... No. If you want your kid to jerk off, if you don't want your kid to jerk off, send them to prison. That's the lesson here. But so like, okay, fine. They fucking play some video games.

They do whatever at the kids' house. It's going to happen. They look at Playboy magazine. But are they constantly up in their room staring at themselves in weird filters and stuff? No. No, because if they don't have a phone,

they can't do it. Yeah, you're right. But I don't know. I'm not a parent. I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I have any kind of answers. I don't know. I am. Fuck it.

I got all the answers. But I would at least, I would at least try. I don't understand the like, yeah, don't, don't get my phone. Or give him a fucking flip phone. Yeah. Or give him a. If you need to be in contact with him, like, hey, here's a. Here's a blackberry kid.

No, why a blackberry? I don't know, because it's funny. Figure it out, dude. My kid's going to grow up with Windows XP and a blackberry. I'm going to raise a little accountant. Give him a Nokia. Yeah. Oh yeah.

You get snake. You can play snake to your fucking heart's content. Yeah, I will let you become addicted to snake. I'll let you become addicted to snake. I'll let you become addicted to snake. And you know what? He's going to fucking figure out how to fill the whole screen because he's going to have nothing to do.

My kid's going to learn Chinese style math and be on an abacus. Yeah, sure. He's going to learn Vedic maths from Indian guys on YouTube. I'm sure. I mean, we don't have kids, but I'm sure you've been exposed to the difference between like kids who are, you know, pacified by iPads and cell phones and the difference between kids whose parents are like,

I severely limit. I have so much experience with that. I mean, there's like, I have friends who have a, like, literal, now they have teenagers and they've had a, like, specific box where the phones stay in, except for certain hours and stuff. Wild. The kids are so,

normal. And then there's kids who are just like... Saying that's cap, that's cap. I mean, truly, I'm like... Stop capping, Uncle Tony. If I didn't fit... No, not those kids. Those kids are great. I know. But like... But like, yeah, if I didn't know it wasn't my place to say anything, I'd be like, you got to like socialize these kids. Something... Yeah. They can't move through life like this, but I'm like, it's not my place. You can have fucked up

weird kids if you want. Also, some people just can't handle being a parent and they just give up and they say, fuck it. McDonald's an iPad, dude. I'm not going to judge anyone. I'm not a parent. It's really fucking different. difficult. I'm sure everyone's doing their best. I mean, look at that lady who killed her, what killed her three kids? If those kids just had iPads. If only they had, if only they had

a, what's that bald kids name? Kiyu. If only Kiyu had one of these drugs. Why is that kid bald anyway? Do we know? He's working at that company trying to fix it. Paw patrol. Fuck. God, dude. Can't imagine. But I don't know. I mean, yeah, I don't know. We all, we didn't have social media growing up. It's not like, uh, our parents figured

out a way to do it. Like the old phrase says, the wheels on the bus go round and round. What does that mean? Cayu was bald because he was originally a nine-month-old baby with no hair in the 1989 book series. Okay.

Strange. All right. Anyway. Were you bald or did you come out with hair? I think I came out with hair. I think I came out with a little bit of hair. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, folks, were you born with

hair or were you bald? Let us know in the comments. Please let us know. Please let us know. Above all else, do us a favor. Hit the like button. Hit the subscribe button if you don't. Do you have any kind of... Leave a comment. Preference for

babies that came out bald or with hair? Yeah, I want my kid to not come out bald. Yeah, I like a little hair. I like a little hair. I'm like, come on. What were you doing? What were you doing? Yeah. What were you growing? You didn't grow any hair? Were you growing your massive penis or vagina? I guess if I saw a massive hog on the kid, I'd be like, hey, you were focused on other things. Or a super long butt crack, I'd be like, damn, dude.

What an experiment you were running in there. Anyway, join us on Benetheel Show.com where we're going to be talking about all kinds of wacky stuff. And then, of course, we got the freaking Q&A coming up. I love it. I love it. Some great questions this time. Anyway, folks, we'll see you next. that

solo.