The Ben and Emil Show - BAES 44: BIG week for Murderers
Episode Date: April 18, 2024CHICAGO: tickets for our live show can be found here OJ has left the building. He fell on a banana peel and slipped down a giant staircase into an open pit. Our hearts go out to his family. Haha but s...eriously folks, we're talking OJ, the astrology mom who murdered her family, the guy who shot his Uber driver, and the tycoon in Vietnam who just got sentenced to death for taking some dong that wasn't her dong. Plus, we're talking about the Humane AI pin that's just absolutely getting ROASTED online, mainly by @mkbhd . Also our bonus episode this week is so good, as it is every week. We talkin about Ben's ass pain (shocking), Civil War, and a bunch of other stuff. It went a little long too. Head to https://benandemilshow.com and sign up! All our previous episodes are in there too. Here's the link for Moomoo mentioned in the first few minutes! Get that Signup offer! Click the link to get a "Mag 7" fractional share bundle for deposits or 1.5% Cash Reward match ($300 max) on transfers: https://j.moomoo.com/00MbzJ __ This week's sponsor is Miracle Made! These bedsheets are seriously so cool and comfy. Go to https://trymiracle.com/BAES and use code BAES to claim a FREE 3 piece towel set and SAVE over 40% off. We're also sponsored by Factor Meals! Head to https://factormeals.com/baes50 and use code baes50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next box. __ Watch the Meatball Special 2 here: https://youtu.be/klaNlKWM2Go See our episode from last week here: https://youtu.be/z1irpgxCTyQ Watch the Taco Bell Taste Test here: https://youtu.be/5wsoc5pieuA This episode (and every episode) was masterfully edited by Dillon Moore. Check him out at https://www.dillonmoore.co and @ dillonmoore on IG We're on instagram. @ benandemilshow @ bencahn @ emilderosa and @ dillonmoore Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, I'm coming to San Antonio, man.
Will you give me five minutes?
This is before anybody knew who I was, right?
No books, no, no kind of notoriety.
So they're like, no, no, don't come by.
But, see, that was interest.
To me, that's interest.
No, no, I'm not interested.
Not interested.
So not interested to you is interest.
Well, it is.
It says not interested.
Not is an adjective to describe interest.
Okay.
Right, so it's a level of interest.
So if someone says that not interested...
I have...
On a scale from zero to 10,
What interest level do you have? None. That is a level. Right. Okay. And then one, two, three, four, five. You with me? A few minutes ago, he didn't know. He didn't know he had no interest. At least I'm on it. You see what I'm saying? You get it? Well, I wouldn't do that. I disagree with that. I'm not saying. Reasonable minds can differ.
Welcome to the show. That was, uh, that was professional moron, Grant Cardone. Is he a real estate guy? What's his thing? I think he does real estate and sales.
He definitely does sales when you're...
God bless whatever his wife's name is.
He's a sales training consultant.
Holy God, man.
I mean, if I've...
That is no means yes personified right there.
The worst part is,
there's a bit of me who like understands
a little bit of what he's saying.
I understand what he's saying.
But he's doing a bad job of explaining it.
He's saying that when there's on the scale of interest...
Or maybe I shouldn't even interpret this
because he's obviously the dumbest fucking guy on the planet.
but I think he's saying...
No interpret it for us.
I think he's saying that before I asked,
he didn't even know who the fuck I was.
He didn't know I had something to offer.
Sure.
Now, sure, he's saying he's not interested,
but now I'm at least in his mind.
But not is a form of interest
because I am not interested
and that is a form of interest, you stupid ass.
Or me stupid ass?
I think if we didn't know each other.
Uh-huh.
and I said, hey, are you interested in, here, let's do it, let's try it.
No, but I walked up to you in the park or whatever.
Uh-huh. I'd be like, get away from me, Psycho.
What are you trying to sell me? I'm at the park.
Exactly.
What would you try to be?
Before that, you didn't even know.
Yeah, before that, I'd be like.
So I was walking around the park with a cooler.
I had beers to sell.
Yeah.
You look hot.
I say, let me go.
I'd say, thank you.
Six-three freak.
Yeah.
He looks like it needs to cool off.
Craving beer.
And I would go, I'm not interested.
And I go, great, but before, you didn't even know there were beers.
Stop talking to me, sir.
Get out.
You're scaring my daughter.
But now you're at least thinking about beer.
Before you weren't thinking about beer.
Sure. But I don't want it from you.
But I'm going to walk away and you might go, maybe I do want a beer.
Maybe I shouldn't until that guy to fuck off.
Damn.
Well.
But I do think when you get a yikes from Jordan Belfort.
Yeah.
Jordan Belfort.
Yeah.
That was Jordan Belfort, the other guy.
Yeah.
The L.K.A. the Wolf of Wall Street, aka the Prince of Persuasion.
That's pretty good. Is he really the Prince of Persuasion?
Yeah, I made that up.
Damn, that was pretty good.
Holy crap. Good job.
Anywho, this is episode 44 of the Ben and Emile show.
Welcome, one, welcome all.
A bit of a sad one because as we will get into it, we did have a, we were a bit
running on, because we had a guest booked for today.
It was a really special one for us, and he's actually not going to be able to make it.
We had been hounding O.J. Simpson's team for.
Yeah.
Probably since the start of Ben and Emile show.
And then tragically, he finally agreed.
Yeah, famous football player, actor, comedian, and some other footnotes.
But he was going to come on the show and then tragically he succumbed to ass cancer.
So cancer of the ass.
Our loss.
It ate him from the ass outward.
And anyway.
It seems everybody's eating ass these days, even cancer.
Hey, yeah.
Whoa.
Hey, gang.
we got hey Chicago good news oh yes we're coming to Chicago on May 15th at Lincoln Hall
and by the time that this episode comes out there should be a link in the description it's
going to be a great show we're we're definitely not going to go up there and make fun of Chicago
and accents the whole time no I'm not going to do that I wouldn't do that to you I wouldn't do
that no but that's going to be happening Chicago has to be our most requested
city, I think. I don't know. There's been a lot, but so we're very excited to come see you all.
Very excited. Hopefully the wind doesn't pick up too much. Oh, because it's the windy city.
Yeah. Hopefully Obama doesn't shoot us. Hopefully Obama doesn't show up. That would actually be sick.
If Obama guns us down on stage. That would be so cool. That would be an honor.
That would be an honor to die from a bullet from Obama's gun. Anyway, we also, hey, our partner
a trading app, Moomu. It's a commission-free stock and options trading platform. And there's
some fun stuff going on here, gang. They're giving away, you ever heard of the Magnificent 7?
Yes, we talked about this. The stocks, yeah. Microsoft, Apple, Nvidia, Tesla. I can't remember the
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And there's a link in the description for you.
Let's see.
What else was there?
For any Glennheads.
Oh, Glenn works there.
So you're going to like what you...
Huge shout to Glenn heads.
Huge shout out to Glenn heads.
And before we get into our main story,
because this is a big, big week for murderers.
Huge week for murderers.
Huge week for murderers.
We're going to be talking about O.J.
Simpson filling you in on what happened with his ass cancer. And for those of you who are too young to
remember, we're going to kind of break it, just briefly break it down what went on there.
The cyber truck is a death trap. Also, some psycho lady who was obsessed with the eclipse
killed her family. Then some guy killed a... Some people accuse us of being flipping about certain
topics, but... People die every day. I don't understand what I don't understand. Literally, every time I
snap my fingers, someone dies. Should I stop?
snapping my fingers? Yeah, you're killing people. Do I have that power? You're killing people right
now. Every time I clap my hands, a baby gets aboard. That's not true. That's not true.
That one's not true, but he was killing people. Anywho, uh, that's the second time I've said that.
We're also going to be talking about, uh, some guy who murdered an Uber driver, really just a crazy
Shakespearean kind of thing. Um, but first, do you, Emil, do you think Jeff Bezos got an ugly
wife? I'm on the record as saying so. She's, uh, I just, I just don't have the reach to,
uh, to call them out as our good friend Keith McNally. Yeah. So Emil sent me this, this, um, this,
I guess you could call it an article from the Daily Mail this morning. And first of all,
this fucking website, the Daily Mail is so, it's just, it's an ad page that also happens to have
an article buried somewhere within it. There's a fuck. Because,
I went to Upwork earlier today, I now have three Upwork banners. There's a fucking video playing in
the corner. There's another ad, one of these ads. I always hesitate to close the, to hit the,
oh, what do you know? Another one just popped. There's so many fucking ads on this page. It's
ridiculous. But if you don't know who Keith McNally is, you might remember him from, he had a feud
with, uh, what's the little English guy? James Corden. Oh, I was going to say the, um,
he's, he's a famous chef. He, the Pillsbury.
boy. Yeah, he had a feud with the Pillsbury doughboy. No, he's a, he's behind
Baltazar, Manetta Tavern, some, some popular New York restaurants. And he
famously banned James Corden from his restaurant. Oh yeah, because James Corden was a
dicker to, um, to, uh, and then he let him back in the restaurant, but then James Corden
came out and said, I actually never did any of that. And he was like, you're gone again.
Get the fuck out of here. We like that. So now he's back in the news. He's a bitch. I really like
it. Oh, I love this.
We just had to share it with you guys before we get into the meat of this rather
tragic episode. So there's this photo of Jeffrey Bezzoz.
Oh, that's Elon Moskina. He was going to look back and be like, you know him.
No, it's Jeff Bezos and his, I don't want to call her a sex doll wife.
That's mean.
Cartoon character.
I don't want to, I don't know this woman. She seems actually like a very sweet woman.
But she has.
Sure.
She used to be like a local news anchor.
or something.
And that makes her a sweet woman?
Yeah.
Can you hear the local news anchor?
I feel comfortable calling her, you know, she looks like a cartoon character.
Yeah.
Hello, everyone.
We got a little bit of a break here.
It's called an ad break.
You might want to listen up because this pertains to you if you sleep.
Do you sleep?
Yeah, I thought so.
Wow.
A bunch of sleepers in the audience.
Yeah, a bunch of sleepers out there.
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Okay, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
She looks like a cartoon character.
They're both at some fucking Vanity Farrow.
event, and she's showing off them big old boobies.
And Keith McNally says, is he British, by the way, Keith McNally?
I don't know. He's got NYC in his hand.
Oh, yeah, okay. He tweeted, does anybody else find Jeff Bezos's new wife, Lauren
Sanchez, absolutely revolting? What an ugly and fucking smug-looking couple they make.
Is this what having a thousand billion dollars does to people? And then here's this.
They got a photo of him below.
Just the shlobiest dude in the world being like,
your wife is fucking revolting.
Your wife is fucking revolting.
So there's,
I don't know what the point is of that.
That is pretty damn good.
I'm glad you shared that.
I also like that her friends were obviously chiming in,
like Chrissy Tegan said she's actually incredibly dynamic,
accomplished, and kind.
And everyone who knows her would say the same.
Also, if people are ever dogging me online
and people call me dynamic.
I'm going to agree with him.
Oh, I'm going to agree with some people dogging.
You'll kill yourself?
Dynamic.
People come to my defense and they go, he's actually dynamic.
Someone calls me ugly and you come to my defense and go, well, he's actually dynamic.
Yeah, instead of saying, well, dynamic is maybe, maybe she looked up a thesaurus word for a
thesaurus entry for, went to thesaurus.com and checked out.
Stephanie Rule jumped in.
No, I think she's accomplished, kind, smart, and loved.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Lauren Sanchez, give me a million dollars, please.
Give me a million dollars.
Jessica Seinfeld.
Jessica Seinfeld.
Who's that?
Seinfeld's wife?
Yeah.
That new serial movie that he's got looks like shit.
It looks like a bad stand-up bit.
Yeah.
Are you just on Twitter?
Get off Twitter, dude.
Literally showing you a fucking thing.
This guy jumps down my throat.
Yeah, well, come on, dude.
Be more dynamic.
What do you got?
Someone commented, it's not a kind thing to say, and who cares what you think?
Live and let live.
They have no bearing on your life.
And he goes, it wasn't meant to be kind.
He responded to the captain.
Just take note.
Stop getting tattoos and crossing your arms at me.
You know what I mean?
Be a bitchy.
Get into feuds with celebrities.
Who did that first, the chef?
We've talked about it so many times.
I mean, it all started with Anthony Bourdain.
I'd smoke cigarettes sometimes before I make your appetizers.
Oh, yes.
I can't do a fucking impression to him.
Okay, anyway, big week for murderers.
Let's kick it off.
The cyber truck is a dead.
death trap. It is, in addition, I will admit, when I see a cyber truck in the flesh, it's
interesting looking. I see it and I go, damn, there it is. Wow. I find, probably due to the
part, due in part to the fact that it is, had so much hype and so much talked about, to see it in
person, it's like, oh, wow, there it is. I feel similarly about, uh, the way Keith McNally
feels about Jeff Bezos's wife, which is what? Stupid bitch. Oh, revolting. Yeah. Well, so,
So there's this gentleman who, here, I'll just play it.
So apparently the cyber truck has a stop cell and I might know why.
It's got something to do with the accelerator pedal.
So let me show you something interesting about.
So first of all, it doesn't have a door handle.
It's got like a-
Because it's cool, dude.
No, I'll tell you what.
Not only do these Teslas not have like door handles or they don't have blinkers that you can,
hit with your it's not this action it's just a button it's all to save money that's how they get
away with uh that's how they're making money is that every little thing like that cuts a corner
that when they digitize everything it makes it so much cheaper to manufacture the car right you're
not buying millions of fucking little yeah little uh whatever there i'm sure that there's a corky word
do you know what the fucking name for the lever fuck okay yeah maybe it's i don't know what the
fuck it's a it's a it's a turn signal flipper switcher but
But anywho, you're, fuck, I did it again.
My cyber truck is, that pedal looks.
The Anywho episode.
It's missing this.
So a couple days ago, I'm driving.
So for the audio listener, he's showing the accelerator pedal.
It's got this cool little metal plate that has come off of it.
I'm driving.
And let's see if I can get a good view here.
I'm driving.
And this goes here.
As I'm driving, this slit up and wedge itself just like that.
the cover of the accelerator slipped off and wedged itself perfectly just so underneath a very conveniently placed gap
in the in the panel right behind the pedals and it got stuck in full acceleration mode
and he goes on to say that he was able to deactivate it by like tapping the brake a couple
times and he was able to stop and then put it in park by fucking pressing a button because
that's of course how you put it in park too but man oh man stuck gas pedals are no there was a i
remember here in i think it was in orange county there was this family of four or something that
was in a in a lexas and they oh yeah i think it was a toyota hybrid yeah they got the gas pedal
stuck and they called and they and they have the phone conversation yeah it's fucking awful
don't google that folks but or google it
No, it's terrible.
Wait, show the other one with the passenger.
Yeah, okay.
So then...
So it's nice, this thing will accelerate when you don't want it to at as fast as it can.
But also, if you get in any trouble, this is a cool way for your passengers to get out.
The cyber truck in an emergency.
The cyber truck doesn't have door handles to get in.
You have to press a button and then the door opens.
And to get out, you can press this button to open the door.
But what happens if the car dies?
Well, there's an emergency release latch you can pull right here.
Okay.
And that way you can open the door manually.
Makes sense.
Yeah.
All right.
Okay.
The driver's side door, you can do that.
But what if I'm sitting in the back?
Surely the back is just as easy.
And the rear door doesn't have it right here.
But if you go in here and you peel back this piece of rubber and lift this up, there is the string to hold to open the door in an emergency.
How do that is the jankiest fucking thing.
That's like, that reminds me of being on an airplane and it's like something where you'd have to watch a, a damn
safety video before you take off, like, hey, in case of an emergency, lift the rubber flap
underneath the thing and the passenger side door and then pull the string to open the door.
Right. Are you telling everyone that who gets in the backseat?
Yeah, great question.
You know, I get it. We all made fun of Angela Chow when she drove her car into a lake and drowned,
but, uh...
Oh, was that Mitch McConnell's, like, step-wife? Oh, sister-in-law, yeah.
But maybe it wasn't her fault. You know? Maybe she was just trying to go to a pit bull concert,
get a little drunk and...
Was she going to a pit bull concert?
With a bunch of her...
Are you serious?
I'm pretty sure.
Damn, man, that fucking sucks.
And so you all laughed.
But maybe it wasn't her fault.
Maybe the goddamn pedal pinned to the ground and...
Well, not only that with...
And then locked her in the car.
The cyber truck also is so rigid when it crashes.
So like if you crash, it...
It keeps passengers like so stiff that you risk.
getting internally decapitated
or getting suffering
like extreme whiplash
but it's a major death trap
and that's nothing new for Tesla's
because for a while there it seemed like
every week there was a fucking battery fire going on
Mitch McConnell's wife
sister-in-law driving herself into a lake.
Sister-in-law driving herself to death
yeah to death in a lake driving herself to death
oh oh man hey everybody
we've got to take another quick break
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Also, that one's horrifying.
She was, like, on the phone with her friends
being like, help me, I can't get...
She couldn't get...
She didn't know to press the emergency thing?
You couldn't get out of the car.
That would be me, because, like,
I remember driving a Tesla the one time.
Not only did I not know how to even start the fucking thing,
my friend who had it, oh, it was Anthony, it was Anthony Patea, actually.
He goes, okay, go ahead and start it, like, knowing that I wouldn't know how.
He's like, go ahead, start it.
I was like, I don't know how.
And I don't even remember how you, like, press a button.
And then I said, okay, I guess I got to put it in reverse, huh?
And he said, yeah, put it in reverse.
And I didn't know how it.
This is fucking, it's silly.
I don't like that.
She called her friend for help and as the water level in the car grew higher and higher,
she said her goodbyes.
The friends frantically tried, but failed to get her out of the car.
in time.
Emergency responders ultimately hold her lifeless body from the car.
Jesus Christ, man.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, maybe that's why Tesla is laying off 10% of their workforce.
That's happening.
Yeah, because you can't even go enjoy a pit bull concert anymore.
Jesus Christ.
Also, Waymo is launching in Los Angeles, which is the, I believe that's the Google driverless car service.
I signed up for the, I signed up for the wait list.
So I can try it out, dude.
So I can jerk off in the back of it.
Block traffic?
I'm not going to block traffic.
If I need to, I'll take over.
I'll take over.
I'll do what needs to be done.
We are joking a lot, but Tesla is like not having a great time right now.
They're straight up not having a good time.
And Elon, man, I see right through you, dude.
Him saying that the robo taxi is coming on August 8th.
That's, that's him saying something that's probably internally has made a,
ton of people shit and piss their pants fully shit and piss their pants because i guarantee it's
probably not ready and he's like well no i've said that it's time to go they're also saying
the cheaper model's going to come out by 2025 it's like no fucking i thought they canceled that oh did
they already cancel i believe that they did they canceled plans temporarily for the the cheaper model
because it just it wouldn't make sense for them to start a whole new production line yeah something
like that did you see him at the fucking vanity fair thing too in his tuxedo doing
his weird, awkward. I'm not going to play it because it's going to piss me off too much,
but he just, God, he just, he's great. Man, this guy's great. Those poses were epic.
Pretty epic. Yeah, pretty epic bacon. You know who's honestly making out the best in this?
I remember being like, why didn't Toyota, yeah, Grimes? No, did you see her Coach Ellis set?
Yeah, she, yeah. She's famously not making out great. And apparently that happens on a lot of her sets
where she just like has technical issues but go on oh that's fun who's making uh so her and her
husband have something in common i guess uh what technical issues i don't get it
oh because tesla's having technical issues oh yeah sure i guess thanks go go on i don't even remember
what i was oh the for the longest time i was like why are they not making just full electric
vehicles and but they've been making so many hybrids and it is such a better option for what
people need right now and i feel like they're going to make out like bandit there's such less
a desire for the um for the all electric car i've got a plug i've got a plug in hybrid and i get like
sometimes 70 miles to the gallon seven in 70 70 70 i get like 20 yeah i get like 20 yeah my fucking
truck. When I look at my gas mileage, I'm like, wow, wow, wazzle.
That's for something. That's something for later. Anyway, it's time for my favorite segment
that we do every week, O.J. Simpson. And we are so sorry that he couldn't be here today.
Yeah, we really are sorry. It really is a tragedy that such a beloved sports figure.
Died of Asking, getting his ass eaten to death.
Actor.
Actor, comedian.
Author.
Author, yeah.
So just to get it out of the way here, I think what younger people need to understand, because I'm like one of you.
No, he's not.
He's old and gross.
Shut up.
The fuck up, dude.
Shut up.
The fuck up.
When I first knew about OJ, I didn't know who the hell he was.
All I knew was, oh, it's this guy who's on a police chase and now he's on.
trial for murder. I only ever knew OJ as murderer OJ. Right. My parents were watching the news and I was
like, damn. Just like with Michael Jackson, I only ever knew white Michael Jackson. I didn't know
black Michael Jackson. I knew like the in between Michael Jackson, the kind of like chocolate
milk. The post-pepsy commercial Michael Jackson. Yeah, I knew I knew chocolate milk Michael Jackson
and then ultimately white, creepy grandma looking, white grandma looking Michael Jackson.
I don't know if it's fair to call him creepy. And like he was creepy.
truly one of our all-time creepiest yeah so so whereas like people who grew up in the in 60s and 70s
and they knew Michael Jackson pure straight up MJ and similarly so I want to put it in perspective
with OJ it would be like just as beloved it would be like Tom Brady a beloved guy did Hertz
commercials, Hertz car commercials, just like
OJ. OJ did Hertz car commercial.
Football champion
divorced.
It would be
these are all the same things.
It would be like...
It would be like one day
you hear on the news that Tom Brady
killed Giselle and her
like hot young new boyfriend.
And it's not because the new boyfriend.
It's because Giselle's stealing all the
son's kisses.
It took me a second because he kisses
his son yeah yeah um so that's what it would be like it would be like if tom brady was suddenly
that's what a shock it was to the country to the sports world to everybody like o j simpson really
but then it was apparent to anyone with uh critical thinking skills but the guy fucking did it man
this guy fucking murdered the hell out of his ex-wife he murdered her so hard it's kind of i mean
it's you don't know i'm a truth here
The truth is that he murdered his wife.
I think Ronald Goldman did it.
And then killed himself?
Yeah.
Like Sepul?
Just like, who planted all the evidence?
The cops.
It's always the cops.
Okay, so let's see.
How should I do this?
Should I give an outline of like just what happened?
I think they know.
Or like the, basically the prosecution fucked up.
It was like the first time.
It was one of the first times, DNA evidence was new.
So, like, people hardly even knew or understood what DNA evidence was.
So.
Well, that was the thing, too.
The trial was an absolute mess.
And cops were behaving in, in, like, horrible ways.
And so, yes, he got off when he probably committed it.
But there was reasonable doubt.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, the defense was able to cast reasonable doubt on the collection of the blood samples.
they like mishandled it and there was enough there for the defense to say hey you know they
kind of botched this DNA so we can't really definitively they also just confused people
I read but they they objected like 90 something times during the prosecution's closing statement
just to like buck up their flow and also to confuse the jury it was like peak 90s racism
It was just a couple years after the Rodney King beating
and the verdict where the cops,
the white cops got off like Scott Free.
So the country's pissed off.
L.A. is pissed off.
And then you have this like prominent black athlete
getting arrested for this brutal double murder.
Sure he did it.
At the hands of a very like racist LAPD.
There's the one of the lead investigators was this cop named Mark Furman.
And there's these devastating,
tapes that come out. He was getting interviewed by this woman for like a screenplay or something
and he just drops the N-word like, wait, I mean, one time is too many, but the guy drops it
like it's going out of style. Right. He didn't drop it and go like, oh, yeah, he's just,
he's just doing it shamelessly, which is absolutely insane, just on so many levels. But so they played
part of that tape during the trial to cast doubt on like, the defense's story was, hey,
of this very racist, corrupt police force
planted evidence and framed O.J. Simpson
because they have no other suspect and yada, yada.
He ends up getting off.
And then the family of Ron Goldman,
the other guy who got killed, sued O.J. Simpson in civil court.
And he lost that and like owed them tens of millions of dollars.
Oh, yeah, like $63 million.
So then he up and moves to Florida because Florida has a law where like, hey, guess what?
If you owe money in like any kind of court case, you're protected if you come to Florida.
So he was protected.
And they, I don't think they ever got hardly anything.
And then he got banked up by writing a book called If I Did It, I Believe It was called?
Yeah, it was called like, if I did it, this is how I would have done it.
Absolute madman.
But O.J. Simpson was quite a character.
Here's a very famous clip of him on an old...
I guess this was an old TV show called Ruby Wax.
God, I hope we don't get hit with like a copyright thing.
Do you think we'll get hit with a copyright thing for this?
I mean, it's...
It is from Ruby Wax Official, which is tough.
Yeah, I'm sure it's fine.
Should I play the clip in its entirety or just the part toward the end?
Yeah, yeah, it's...
I mean, I feel like you need the context.
Yeah.
You asked me a question about something.
Yeah.
And there's no superficial answer.
No. Unless I talk about it, unless I get deeper.
I can hear your bugged.
Of course I am.
I'm bugged to have to talk about it.
Yeah.
Get my blood pressure going to have.
I don't think anybody could have gone through.
I got, I got excuse of prayer.
I got totally screwed.
I got screwed, you know?
I got things taken from me.
I got me to an extent taken from me.
My kids don't have a mother and people want to ignore because of their.
As far as I'm concerned, either ignorance and in many cases,
subconscious racism won't look at the fact.
Well, Jake, can't you say one thing?
You know, I don't care whether you're black, white, or green, I really don't care.
The bottom line is you got off, you're innocent.
Thank you.
Yeah, that is the bottom line, but that ain't the bottom of line for so many people.
You're innocent, you got off.
What kind of racism is that?
You're free.
You're walking around.
Let me say something.
What's your problem here?
Let me say so.
Just be free, be happy.
Once I get riled, sometimes, you know, you really get pissed.
And I start thinking about stuff and thinking about this and this and this and this.
Why do you go on?
Because I'm talking to you.
And you got me riled up.
You got me started on this subject.
So if you promise that you will not ask me another question about your case, we won't have to talk about it anymore.
Just did you do it?
No, I didn't.
Kirby enthusiasm theme.
No, I didn't.
Nope.
Did not do it.
After we finished filming, OJ said to me that he had a surprise for me, and I genuinely was surprised.
I think it was his idea of a joke.
This is the scariest fucking thing in the world.
I love them.
They're like fished out of his face.
Truly one of our craziest guys.
Yeah, really, really a crazy guy.
He then was on Twitter, which was really fun.
I have to agree with him, though.
I would be very annoyed if I got off of getting convicted of murder and then everyone wanted to talk about it for the rest of my life.
Yeah.
I do want to point out that there were, before the murder, there were 62 incidents of abusive behavior by OJ toward Nicole.
This woman had called 911 so many damn times.
I listened to one of the 911 calls and it gave me so much anxiety.
Oh, yeah.
They were horrifying.
He was like absolutely beating the shit out of it.
of her all the time. It was inevitable. And that's part of the defense's case. It was, or the
prosecution's cases. This guy had a history of domestic abuse. He was a jealous X. There was even
one guy. It's hearsay anecdotal, but he says that O.J. was probably on meth that night.
Anyway, I did find it funny that in 2016, Dr. Bennett-O-Maloo, the guy who discovered CTE, the
football player brain injury, said he,
he would bet his medical license that OJ had it. And then, Emil, I wanted to share with you a couple of
other funny things about OJ, his other legal troubles part of his, don't read ahead.
Yeah. Wikipedia has gone fun now. Like, you can just go to personal life or like controversy.
Yeah. So let's see. In the late 1990s, so this was after he got, he was deemed innocent, but also lost in the civil case.
1990s, Simpson attempted to register O.J. Simpson, O.J. and The Juice as trademarks.
Give it to them. For a broad range of goods, including figurines, trading cards, sportswear,
medallions, coins, and prepaid telephone cards. But then a concerned citizen sued to
oppose the granting of federal registration on the grounds that doing so would be immoral
and scandalous. I like this one. In February 2001, wow, pre-9-11. Damn.
What a dream. The world was different. He was arrested in Miami County for simple battery and burglary
of an occupied conveyance. I don't know what that is. For pulling the glasses off another motorist
during a traffic dispute three months earlier. Cool move. Yeah, pulled his, what are you going to do
about it? Let's see. In December of 2001, his Florida home was searched by the FBI on suspicion of
ecstasy possession and money laundering. What about the one where he was like stealing back
memorabilia? Yeah, that was a big one. He did, that's when. That's when.
he ended up finally going to prison because he went to Las Vegas and it was armed robbery and
kidnapping for stealing back his own sports memorabilia. How can it be robber if it's his?
But I love this. If he's stealing it back. The FBI raided him on those suspicion of possession
of ecstasy charges, but investigators uncovered equipment capable of stealing satellite television
programming, which was later evidence in a federal lawsuit. This one's my personal favorite.
in July 2002, O.J. Simpson was arrested in Miami-Dade County for water speeding
through a manatee protection zone. See, now that might be his greatest crime. We need to
protect our manatees at all costs. I just imagine seeing the sign like, slow down for
manatees. And he's like, ha, ha, fuck to me. I mean, you're like on borrowed time. You know what I mean?
You get off on murder charges. You can't be going through a no-wake zone. You've got to hurry up.
Yeah. And then this one's probably my second favorite.
In March 2004, Satellite Television Network, DirecTV, accused Simpson in a Miami federal court
of using illegal electronic devices to pirate its broadcast signals.
So, Direct TV sued O.J. Simpson for stealing satellite TV, and they won a whopping $25,000
judgment from him.
I mean, back then, what do we talk?
That's probably $6 million in today, money.
He published...
It's definitely not.
Whoa, what?
Holy shit.
There's an excerpt from that.
the If I Did It Book.
Give it to me.
Nicole. Jesus.
I looked down and saw her on the ground in front of me,
curled up in a fetal position at the base of the stairs, not moving.
Goldman was only a few feet away,
slumped against the bars of the fence.
He wasn't moving either.
Both he and Nicole were lying in giant pools of blood.
I'd never seen so much blood in my life.
It didn't seem real, and none of it computed.
This is so fucking crazy to put this book out.
Yeah, I mean, it's the whole fucking...
I need to read this book.
Wasn't there something with the publisher where they changed the if?
So it just said, I did it?
It says I did it, but then, yeah, here, let me see.
Right here, I said it right there.
Yeah.
It's so tiny.
The if is in there.
The if is in the eye.
But then I love at the bottom.
So the book is called, I did it, Confessions of the Killer.
And then at the bottom it says, with exclusive commentary, he did it by the Goldman family.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, that poor fucking family, man.
I mean, holy shit.
And then there were so many aspects of this case, like I said, like the prosecutor was this woman named Marcia Clark, who I've DM'd on Instagram. I invited her under the show.
Oh, incredible.
What do you think?
Well, I mean, yeah, I guess if, you know, if OJ can't come on, we got to get Marcia.
She got such shit because she, like, the tabloids were going after her for her hair and the way she dressed.
So she's got to contend with that all while she's, like, going through a divorce and trying to prosecute O.J. fucking Simpson, who's like,
beloved sports character that's the juice baby oh my god so and robert kardashian was involved
who's kim kardashian's dad and also maybe his other biggest crime giving us the kardashians
yeah i mean it really did kind of give birth to uh the kardashian if the kardashinification
of of things anyway let's go on to our other murder shall we oh yeah so this one's bleak
um the last one wasn't though there was a lady
named Danielle Johnson
and she was an
astrology influencer
and on I think
this was this
this was the morning of the eclipse
at like 3.40 a.m.
she got into a verbal altercation
with her boyfriend. Yeah I never like that. What are you doing
fighting at 3.40 a.m.?
She's arguing about the fucking eclipse.
Crazy. Her husband
was probably going, you need to go to bed.
Yeah. It's going to be fine.
The eclipse isn't going to like and she was
going. It's 3.40 in the morning.
Let me go back to...
So then she pulled an OJ and she stabbed him to death.
And then she did kind of like what OJ did
and she hopped on the 405 freeway.
Wow, a lot of corollaries here.
She hopped on the 405 freeway.
Well, because that's what OJ did.
He... God damn it.
This is one of the reasons why he fucking did it.
Because what kind of guilty person...
What kind of innocent person finds out that their ex-wife is dead
and then puts a gun to his own head and goes on a police chase?
I would. If my ex-wife got killed,
I put a gun to my head and...
You're fucking.
Would I be driving?
Yeah.
I would be the AC Cowlings.
And you'd be like, don't shoot him.
He's dynamic.
Very good.
Well, so, no, she got on the 405 freeway with her nine-year-old daughter and her eight-month-old daughter.
And somewhere around, I think it was around LAX, she forced her nine-year-old daughter out of the car on the moving, on the fucking freeway.
the nine-year-old daughter just got injured,
but the eight-month-old baby was unfortunately killed.
And they, like, shut down the whole 405 freeway.
I remember hearing about it because on the news, it was like...
There was traffic everywhere because it, like, rerouted traffic.
But listening to the radio, it was like,
because there's apparently, like, an infant who's dead on the freeway,
and it was, like, all this confusion.
So then she went down, she kicks her fucking babies out of the car,
and then drives all the way down to Redondo Beach
and rams her Porsche SUV into a tree at 100 miles an hour killing herself.
Yeah, because apparently, yeah, so her Twitter account is still active.
Oh, no.
Yeah, and she, just days before the eclipse on April 4th, she tweeted,
this eclipse is the epitome of spiritual warfare.
Get your protection on and your heart in the right place.
The world is obviously changing right now,
and if you ever needed to pick aside the time to do so,
to do right in your life is now.
Now. Stay strong. You got this.
That's why you got to be careful with these astrology girlies.
Dude, I mean, here's one. Wake up. Wake up. The apocalypse is here.
Everyone who has ears, listen. Your time to choose what you believe is now. If you believe a
new world is possible for the people, retweet now. There is power in choice. There is power
in choice. Whoa, she had a lot of followers.
Yeah. Wow. Yeah. She had 103,000 fucking followers. Jesus, age Christ.
Damn, that's got a lot of likes.
She quoted, she retweeted,
she retweeted a Q an unaccount, it looks like.
So, and this fucking tweet is terrifying.
Alert, this is the final warning.
Turn notifications on.
Do not look at the eclipse.
Something big is coming.
Like, poor fucking woman.
Oh, God, clearly mentally ill and like her poor kids.
She, that poor kid.
Shut the internet down at this point.
Yeah, shut the internet down.
Just shut it down like they shut down the 405 freeway.
Anyway, there's another murder.
This guy.
I'm only laughing because you're laughing.
But.
All right.
Oh, geez.
I can feel myself getting hot.
So you know how sometimes scammers do be calling you?
Oh, I'm aware.
And they'd be trying to get money from you?
this 81 year old guy in Ohio
gets a phone call
and the phone call was a scam call
by someone saying that they're from the court
who are saying that they've got a family member incarcerated
and that there was a significant bond on his name
and that they you know you
got to pay us this money
here's what we're going to do
we're going to send an Uber driver to come pick it up
and so they call an Uber to go to this guy's house
and the fucking Uber driver has no idea
she's just an older woman who's like
well I got called to this guy's house to go pick him up
so you can see on her dash cam
she goes to knock on the door
and then the old man who is now aware
that it was a scam call
thinks that the Uber driver is in on it
and he fucking shoots her
kills her
Why are we reporting it?
What are we talking about?
Yeah, you're right.
I don't know.
Fuck, dude.
I'm so sorry.
Why are you telling me this?
Because I was like, the theme is murder.
I don't know.
Fuck.
Now I feel bad.
I'm so sorry.
I'm listening to the evening news or something.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, shit.
Damn, this took a dark turn.
Well, I mean, this one's kind of related to murder in that the state is going to murder her.
Vietnam is going to murder this lady.
This one, I mean.
I mean, this one has, this one has some relevance.
It's a feel-good murder.
This one's a feel-good murder.
Would you call the death penalty murder?
Are you anti or pro-death penalty?
Yeah, I actually got into a big argument with someone.
About the death penalty?
Yeah, and war.
Whether or not it was.
Damn, that sounds like a fun conversation.
Whether or not, oh, it wasn't.
We went away to, uh, we went away, me and my friends I grew up with in New Jersey,
and we just loved to fucking argue with each other.
And, um, and we brought our significant others.
just ruin the trip arguing about it.
You got to know how to argue, man.
You got to argue like...
No, you got to do it all night.
My friend Andy and I argue, but we do it with like,
we know that we're never going to, like, not be friends and it's never going to like...
Oh, we've been friends our entire lives.
Yeah, but still, you got to, you got to, you got to, yeah, okay, all right.
You were having a blast.
Everyone else was miserable.
Everyone else was like, shut the fuck up.
What was your position under the death penalty?
That it's good?
No, no.
No. It's hard to say that it's good.
Well, and the problem was they took issue. I said that war was still murder, too.
Okay. But what about the death penalty?
Is it murder?
I don't know. I'm just asking. I don't know what I'm asking. Are you for it?
For the death penalty? No.
What are you?
Although, you know, I get a little, when we're talking about like a billionaire doing fraud,
getting murdered, get a death penalty for that, you know, I get a little, I mean, this lady was a tycoon.
You don't get too many tycoons these days anymore. They're, they're pretty damn rare.
So why don't we tell them what happened?
Well, this Vietnamese lady, Trong my land.
Trong my land was convicted for her role in a 304 trillion dong financial fraud.
I know you want me to, I know you expect me to laugh when I say dong because it's a foreign name for a different kind of money.
It's not, for me.
You know what?
We can laugh.
I'm not laughing.
You know why?
You know why?
Because all the time, there's English names where it's like.
Like, the Vietnamese or the Chinese, the Japanese would say, like, that's very funny.
Clark or whatever, I don't know, Ben, that means penis in my language.
Well, dong to us is funny.
Sorry, your money is a funny word.
I was laughing because I was just like, that's quite a bit of dong.
That is a hefty amount of dong.
Can you imagine?
But not because dong is funny.
That's just, for me, I'm like, she's still quite a bit of dom.
What if the, what if the currency in Vietnam was called penis?
I wouldn't, 304 trillion penis.
It wouldn't be funny to me.
Bullshit.
Bullshit.
No, that'd be hilarious to me.
Because, yeah, don't...
Anyway.
Which is about $12.5 billion.
Billion dollars.
Okay, so this is a pretty serious fraud.
She's got herself into.
It was amounting to about 3% of Vietnam's GDP.
And they're in the middle of, like, going through some political, not upheaval,
but the government is trying to stamp.
out corruption so they're definitely making an example of trung my land my land fuck god fucking
damn it i can't say her fucking name right she also so basically she in like 2011 this bank
merged with a couple other banks and she somehow finagled weasled her way in and started
turning that bank into her own personal piggy bank and she's dishing out like hey you want a loan man
hell yeah i'll give you a loan man i'm actually short quite a few dung i'll give you a loan oh fuck
I hit my funny bone
I'll give you a loan
I'm gonna give my son
She gave thousands of loans
Through like ghost companies
And shell corporations
She's moving shit around
She's a very smart lady
Right so she ends up
Being found guilty of embezzlement
Bribery and violations of banking rules
And uh
Sentence to death
Sentence to death
Oh yeah yeah she was bribing to
Um so
What about like a
Here's my thing
What?
How many videos and tweets do I have to see
of being like, should
Congress members be allowed
to trade stocks?
Brother, don't get me started, brother.
That's when I'm like,
maybe we should have the fucking death penalty
for fraud here.
Or at least like an ass kicking penalty.
And everyone's like,
how do we stop corruption in this country?
I feel like Vietnam might have a idea.
Yeah, I just kind of want to kick people's asses.
That's kind of what I want to do.
All right, let's switch gears.
Switch it for me.
Should I play?
Man, there's something from the bonus
that I just am dying to play for you
and it's really short.
And I think right now
would be a good little pallet closer, shall we?
Don't make people.
Don't look.
Don't hide it behind a paywall.
Let people see it.
Don't look.
By the way, Ben and Emile Show.com
for the bonus episode.
We're going to be talking to...
I had one of the worst nights of sleep last night
and I had proctalgia fugax.
What?
Again, it's the ass pain.
It's like the debilitating ass pain.
I'm going to tell you a hell of a story
about that in the bonus.
But anyway,
So this is just a quick little video just as a pallet cleanser for everybody.
No more murder.
It's so delicious with T. Zay-T-Zichai.
It's so delicious.
You know how many people have said this thing?
Oh, man, I guess you're right.
Yeah.
So this guy's, he's a food influencer.
He mispronounces Satsiki as T-Zay-T-Zichai.
It's so, it's crazy because I've listened to it so many times and I'm like, I cannot say what
he said.
This with T-Z-A-T-Zi-Zi-Zi-Zi.
Tezee Tzei Tzei Tzei Tzei Tzei Tzei Tzei Kai.
He makes an infinitely more difficult word.
Tizei Tzei Tzei Tzei Tzei Tzei Tzei Tzei Tzei Tzei Kai.
I hate in fucking food videos when they take a bite.
Him and the Yonkis girl should get.
Did you see the Yonkis girl?
Yonkis?
She's trying to make Nyokie.
Oh yeah, yeah.
She keeps saying Yonki.
Yonkis?
Yeah.
That's a little cuter.
That's cute.
But that's actually.
man, if I'm a food influencer, that's a fucking hack right there.
Do something intentionally bad so that people share it and go,
who's what all of them are?
I wouldn't be surprised if he was doing it on purpose.
I've been with a friend where he was like showing me a post,
and I said, don't, you spelled it wrong.
He said, I know, it's on purpose.
People are going to comment.
Oh, my God.
Rage bait, man.
That's like really subtle rage bait.
I see it on Reddit now.
People, did you see the guy who said I hit 100 rubber ducks
from my wife, she's found X so far.
And he kept updating.
That's kind of fun and cute.
I think it was for Easter.
And then, like, day four, she's found 87 ducks.
Should it be bunnies for Easter?
And not rubber ducks?
Aren't there something I'm missing?
Peeps, isn't that an Easter thing?
Okay, yeah, sure.
I'll give you.
Don't get mad at me.
Just go on.
You're the one telling the story, fucker.
And it was, it was like, day eight,
she's found 99, and he had them all separated.
They were by, like, four different colors.
But except, and they were all color-coded, except he switched to.
And everyone was going, why the fuck did you switch those?
Oh, so he had like all the reds and all the pinks and all the yellows,
but then on one of them he had like one yellow in the blue.
Yeah, so two were out of place.
That's really smart.
And it drove everyone nuts and had so many comments on it.
Really smart, yeah.
Oh, boy.
So that's what we have to look forward to, just inaccurate things to drive, drum up false engagement.
Well, speaking of smart, or rather the opposite of smart.
Uh, there's, um, you might have heard about this new ass fucking hardware AI pin by a company called Humane, who is...
It got announced probably back in November or something, but now people are finally receiving their humane pins.
And from the start, I didn't want to really comment it because it's a, the brother of a friend of the show.
No way.
Who works there? Yeah.
He, you know that? He's like the head of, uh, something.
Oh, I had no idea.
But, I mean, he's, I, yeah, I, it's okay because, you know, we can't possibly say anything worse than what everybody else is saying about it.
But when it first came out.
I don't want to come with it because I was like, I feel like this thing's going to come and go.
No one wants this fucking thing.
Basically, it's a $700 pin that you wear.
And it's like the size of a matchbox, maybe.
And it's meant to be, it's meant to be your cell phone.
Right.
It's another thing like we're replacing your cell phone.
Everyone's getting sick of cell phones, and now you don't, you have this wearable hardware where you can, number one, talk to it by placing your finger on it and saying, hey, Dave shit, give me the time. What's the weather like? Exactly. And then you can also ask it, it can see, right? So you can, Marcus Brownlee has a very funny. Hey, OJ, or hey, hey, hey, a pin, did OJ? But that's the thing, it's, it's not that quick. He asked, he asked it to look at a cyber truck and tell him what it is. And so he, he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's. He's, he's, he's. He's, he's. He's
says, hey, what is this in front of me? And then he pulls his phone out and does the Google
lens thing and sees, and he can just find it so much quicker. It's sitting there. And then it
finally goes, it's a cyber truck. And he's like, great, I already know. There was one person said
that it gets, there was one reviewer who said it gets insanely hot. Yeah, there was a couple
people, Marcus said that. And then there was a couple people who were like, I've burned my skin
on it. It does everything that a phone does, except for slower, less accurate. I wouldn't say it does
everything you got a phone does.
I mean, it doesn't have a fucking screen.
I mean, it's, it's screen functionality is that it can project something onto your hand.
Yeah, the whole, your hand is the screen.
And it's barely usable in daylight because it's.
And also your hand is going to get fucking tired, like holding out, I don't want to do that.
My hand's not going to get tired.
It's, it will.
Your hand is going to get, having your hand at this.
What if I'm holding a phone?
Man, shut the fuck.
Fuck up. Just go with me here. Go with me here. But everybody do be hating on this thing. Marquez Brownlee, man. So I, wow. I, well, first of all, this guy, Daniel Vasallo tweeted in regards to Marquez Brownley's eviscerating review on this thing, he said, I find it distasteful, almost unethical to say this when you have 18 million subscribers like Marcus Brownlee has. Which is a fucking psychotic position.
Yeah. Hard to explain why, but with great reach.
comes great responsibility, potentially killing someone else's nascent project reeks of
carelessness. First, do no harm. What are you talking about? Is this tech reviewer? You're fucking
idiot? He said, we disagree on what my job is. Right. I like that tweet. And yeah, I would agree
with that. This is from Morning Brew. Morning Brew points out that... Like, he's supposed to be
dishonest and be like this is... I guess his position is... Well, I think he takes issue with the
sensationalist title of his video, which...
Which was, this is the worst product they've ever reviewed or something like that.
So far.
Yeah.
And he's saying, well, a lot of people aren't going to watch.
Because he does, I watched the whole thing.
He does go on to say that much like the Apple Vision Pro, whatever it's called, this is probably
a very early iteration.
And it does some things, but for the most part, it's bad.
Yeah.
And it could get better.
But he's saying that something like that from someone who's popular and respected as Marcus
Brownlee and kind of the tech space or whatever is.
wildly irresponsible
because he's
who gives a fuck
who's gonna have
any like...
You could have said the same thing
to Steve Job
Steve Jobs.
Who's gonna have any empathy
for you know
some AIVC?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I also just,
there's something about the two founders.
They're touted as like
they're former Apple employees
but or Apple engineers
and you,
they present themselves
as they just present.
I don't know. Something about the video, the intro video, it was just so heavily stylized and
on the nose. It just gave me, I didn't trust, some alarm bell went off where I was like,
this feels scammy and I don't trust it. Because they're presenting themselves as if they're
already known and they are presenting the newest version of their thing when in fact it is the very,
the very first version of their brand new thing. But they're coming across as like, hey, you
guys know us we're the humane team and here's our new product we're former apple engineers you
should know that and it's like no don't don't act like we don't know you or we know you because we do
you get what i'm saying yes it's like weird yeah yeah also yeah the the the morning brew thing
they're pointing out that a bunch of reviewers were saying that the camera quality on it is like
dog shit an iPhone 4 it's just it's like a cop's body cam yeah but uh and tech people are such
cry babies too it's just like people actively you know ruining all of our lives with this
shit that we have to integrate just being like it's wildly you heard it here amiel hates integration
man you would have been terrible in the 1960s in the south you would have been kicking off fucking uh
what's her name it's the way they act like it's this groundbreaking thing when it's essentially a
worse apple watch you could just talk to your apple watch and ask it things yeah you can um
you can check all your messages and stuff.
This thing does not integrate with your phone in any way.
It's like, what did you make?
Also, what are we, you want to get people off their phones,
but like you don't have any way to do,
you can't write an email, you can't do any of these.
Yeah, they have like.
Every time you've got to put in your password,
it's like you've got to go through all the numbers,
you know, nine, cycle through.
It's not just like a numerical pad.
Rotary phone.
Yeah, truly.
they have a fucking terrible they have demonstrations of it of people being like find me or book me
book me a european vacation who the fuck is trusting their stupid little pin to do that i do i just don't
understand it we can't you can't trust uh you can't trust a computer gpt to give you a correct
answer to a question without it um spitting out hallucinations and i'm gonna have it book me travel
speaking in chat gpt i was reading something
something from some technologists that the the the because all these large language models are
just relying on the internet to feed their their knowledge things right but the internet large
though it may be and uh absolutely massive swaths of data it is not nearly enough to make an
AI reach that level of AGI it would be like having only one sense like you need yeah you need
all these other senses. No, it's not just like, oh, it needs more data. It's like it needs
like sensory data. It needs the full scope of the human experience, not just written word
and like sound converted to words. We got to figure out how to make AI smell. We got to figure
out how to make it. Oh, I'll describe smells to it all right. I could, man, sit me in a room with
the robot. There's a lot of high paying AI jobs. We should get you in somewhere, maybe open
AI or humane. You're just the guy who described smells too. I'd be so good at that. I'm
describing stuff to the audio listener left and right day and night, I'd be sitting there
going, okay, so it smells like, oh, okay, you know what?
Oh, it's like a piece of shit.
It seems like shit.
Okay, so you know how shit's, oh, you don't know what shit smells like.
Okay, so imagine something really stinky, okay?
Imagine it smells real bad.
It makes you kind of go, pee, you, that's a smell.
Oh, you just don't get it to you.
It's like trying to explain someone the color green.
Yeah, it's like trying to explain.
Um, yeah, like to a blind person.
Yeah.
Try to explain the color green.
I don't know.
It's fucking grass.
Like a tree.
Look outside.
It's, um, not quite blue and not quite yellow.
I've never seen blue or yellow.
And fuck.
All right.
The last thing I wanted is, so these days, gang, there's, um, if you're still listening,
what the fuck's your problem?
They're not listening.
We can say whatever we want because no one's actually listening.
Yeah.
That's absolutely right.
But there's, there's, I, I don't know, I'm always thinking of like stupid segments and stuff.
He's always thinking of stupid segments.
But there's, there's this, like it calls in the middle of the night.
There's this new thing.
There's just new, fucking new meme, stupid memes of the week.
And there's one called wife Jack.
Do you know, do you know, what's it called, Wojack or whatever?
Yeah.
Yeah, well, there's a new one called, whoops, wife Jack.
whoops
I put
Wuffjack
Wife jacking
is actually
the only way
I can come
I think it's
wife jack
Yeah it is
Yeah so it's this
It's just a female
Wojack
It's just a female
It's just a fucking
picture of a
cartoon lady
With red hair
But man I'm talking
Every
The way it goes
With memes now
It's born
And then everybody
Just dogpiles
And does the same
fucking flavor
of the same fucking joke
and it's basically just imagine
a basic wife thing
like I'm cold or
hey did you remember to take out the garbage
or like what are you doing on your computer
and it's just that
and I just I was seeing that all weekend
on fucking is that what having a wife is like
I guess man
she just always wants to know what you're doing on the computer
what are you doing on the computer? What are you doing on the computer
nothing none of your business wife
non-wife stuff guy stuff
I always close the computer real quick whenever any wife walks in.
Now, Humane should come up with some kind of anti-wife protection device for us guys.
A phone for guys.
Phone for guys.
Oh, I like that.
It's the phone just for guys.
Oh, that's a great idea.
Oh, patent pinning.
Yeah, we got to slide into that guy's DMs.
The guy who was pissed about the, hey, if you want to.
If you want to.
If you want to.
Get back at Marquez Brownlee.
Let's come up with an idea.
Oh, maybe internet.
And Marcus Brownlee cannot have one.
What if it's...
I was looking at his YouTube channel.
Man, that guy has been doing these videos
truly for like 16 years.
I do think he's a pretty good
straight shooter when it comes to tech reviews.
If you go back, I went back to his old...
From like 16 years ago, he's got a shitty little
microphone and he's like prepubescing.
Okay, guys, I'm going to be doing a review of this mouse.
Pretty good mouse.
You know, da-da-da-da.
And the comments are from, like, 16 years ago.
Other tech people who were looking for a review on this particular mouse.
And they said, great review. Thanks.
And then he's got like a keyboard.
Okay, so this wants the Logitech.
And then, you know, you scrubbed through a couple years later, and his voice is changing.
He's going through puberty.
And he's like, all right, guys, I'm going to be covering this HP laptop.
And then he's just, before you know it, he's fully pretty wild.
Stick with it is the message
Stick with it, yeah
Unless your hobby sucks, then quit
Or keep doing it
But don't expect to become a Marquez Browning
But maybe no, don't
Yeah, don't quit
Don't quit
Don't listen to Emil, don't quit, listen to me, shoot for the moon
Shoot for the moon
If you miss, you'll end up in your parents' basement probably
Oh, well I was going to say if you miss
You end up spiraling into space
utterly alone
If you...
Uncontrollably.
If you do what you love, you'll probably work two jobs for the rest of your life.
God willing, yeah.
Okay, well, that seems like a good place to stop.
Let's see.
Let us know if you're still listening.
Yeah, let us know if you're still listening.
Leave a comment.
Leave a review, you know.
Let's get a boost to those Spotify and Apple reviews.
Oh, we'd love that.
Yeah, tell a friend.
We're still short of what the old show was at, which is...
Really? On the reviews?
I believe it was at like 8.3,000 reviews.
Remember when we used to make jokes about sending mail bombs?
And the guy who sucks at that old place,
the one guy who we know said.
Made a stop.
Was like, you guys can't do that anymore.
It's probably not a good idea.
And then we would do it and they would cut it out.
Yeah, yeah.
Because we didn't have a final cut.
Yeah, we didn't.
We had premiere.
And now we can say it as much as we want.
Yeah, mail bomb.
White House, White House, Obama, Obama, Joe Biden, Joe Biden.
1,600 Pennsylvania Avenue, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
Nails and ball bearings in a package bomb, mail bomb, United States Postal Service.
Do you think that's going to get us in trouble?
I don't know.
No one's listening anymore.
Except for our most depraved listeners.
Yeah, man, they're real sickos.
They're the ones who are at risk.
Man, can you imagine?
So if you're an at-risk teen out there.
O.J. Simpson, the football player?
he killed his wife and that guy
May 15th Chicago
Lincoln Hall
buy a ticket
check the link in the description
OJ Simpson
OJ Simpson
OJ Simpson may be there
He died
He's dead
Okay bye