The Ben and Emil Show - BAES 72: Our BIG election predictions
Episode Date: October 31, 2024The election is almost here. It's almost over. Thank god. This week we're going over our predictions for who will win, when we'll know, what the markets are predicting, and how markets might react to ...either candidate winning. PLUS, drama at The Washington Post and so much more. What an episode! Leave a comment to be featured as the comment of the week next week! And also, like this video, please! Thank you! Head to https://benandemilshow.com for this week's bonus episode and to support the show! :) __ MOOMOO: Important: The creator is a paid influencer and not affiliated with Moomoo Financial Inc. ("MFI") or its affiliates. Content outside of the moomoo ad has not been reviewed by MFI and reflects the influencer's own views. MFI does not endorse any strategies mentioned and is not responsible for the influencer's services. Click this link https://j.moomoo.com/BAES to get up to 15 free stocks from moomoo U.S when you make a qualified deposit + earn 4.6% on uninvested cash + an additional 3.5% APY Coupon for 3 months for new users!! Terms & Conditions Apply __ Latest MEATBALL SPECIAL HERE: https://youtu.be/Euyfzwmq8WY Last week's episode HERE: https://youtu.be/Gtc8pbuxiLQ Watch the latest Ben & Emil On HERE: https://youtu.be/ZgLZQZ8oeQI This episode was shot and edited by Connor Rousseau / @ conrad_roussrad Follow us on instagram! @ benandemilshow @ bencahn @ emilderosa and @ conrad_roussrad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
All right, folks, welcome back. We've got a great episode for you. And it's Halloween. So to celebrate Halloween, to commemorate one of the best holidays of the year, we've dressed up. Oh, my God, Emil.
What?
What are you supposed to be, Barack Obama?
No, I'm a dog. I'm a chocolate lab.
You can't.
Folks, I apologize for this. We're going to have to blur this out because.
it's wildly problematic and inappropriate.
You, you, when you, if you're going to face paint yourself as a chocolate lab, my man, you're
going to need more than one color, just one solid.
Why, that's what a chocolate lab is.
Yeah, I know.
The ears were gone.
Dog is a very popular costume this year.
Why don't you just take a second, go, go get, get yourself cleaned up.
Am I getting accused of Trudeauing?
You're going to get.
I did not Trudeau.
I'm a chocolate lab.
Just in case.
Let's just play our cards safely.
Why don't you go hop out real fast and clean up, and we'll, we'll, I don't deserve this.
We'll cut right back.
I'm looking at a time with baby on me. Tell me what's going on. Tell me what's going on.
So, okay. So, so.
oh that's so much better that's great now you just look like you um you uh clean chimney sweep
yeah you look i was gonna make a poop reference did i not get it all uh yeah no you got most of it
that's all that matters how do i look i don't even know what i'm going for here i don't know what the white was
i don't know why you get to do the face paint uh well uh i don't know either but um here we are gang
happy halloween we got a great episode happy ben's birthday he keeps bearing the
believe, but it's my birthday today, but by the time this comes out, it ain't my birthday
anymore. So who gives a rat's ass? We all do. The studio's going crazy. We got a huge
episode for you today. We're going to be talking about all about the election, our predictions,
what's going to happen. How I'm getting skewered on the internet right now. How Emil's getting
absolutely roasted on the internet right now. We've got our predictions for what's going to happen
in the markets, how the election is going to affect. It's just a big, you know, this, this will be
a comfy, cozy episode for you guys, right?
No, it's going to be bad.
It's going to be comfy cozy, I think.
Also, stay tuned for the comment of the week.
We're going to do that at the end.
And a couple big things.
Oh, the comments of the week are so funny, though.
Yeah, I know.
We're just aiming for the end.
We also are bringing back the Q&A because we have been busy,
and now we're no longer as busy.
We're still busy, but we're bringing back the Q&A.
We're going to shoot that next week.
So if you're on the $10 tier,
make sure your Discord is set up, get in there.
Ask us some questions.
Ask us some questions.
And for the love of God, make sure that you're there in the Discord on Tuesday, next Tuesday, election day, when we actually do the recording.
And also, hey, we're going to be doing our first ever mail opening.
You've been waiting for it.
Oh, yeah.
There were some people who were like, hey, I sent something.
We got your packages.
We just haven't opened it yet.
And we're going to be posting the address.
on Ben and Emile Show.com.
Yeah. So you want to send us something to go there.
You'll see it.
And last thing, there's still merch if you want merch.
Oh, yeah, there's some merchandise, and we're going to be doing some more.
We're going to be turning the portraits into stuff soon.
We're going to be turning the portraits into stuff soon.
We're going to be turning it in all kinds of crazy stuff soon.
And, yeah, I, wow, I just, I'm turning into a kitty cat.
I think I'm turning kitty cat.
I think I'm turning kitty cat.
I really think so.
mea, meow, meow, meo, meo, meo, meo, meo. Very good. Wow. Okay. So, oh, boy, let's get right into it, shall we? We've got
the election coming up. First and foremost, Emil, who do you think we'll win? That's the biggest
prediction. Prediction. Who do you think will win? Gun to my head.
I swear to God, you better tell me. Who I think he's going to win.
That's me cocking.
I think Trump's going to win.
You think Trump's going to win?
Yeah.
By a lot or by a thin margin?
No, by a thin margin, I think he'll probably lose the popular vote.
Okay.
He'll win the election.
And I put this gun down?
Yeah, please.
Oh, God.
Well, I'm glad that you're predicting that because I'm going to alleviate everybody else's worries that Emil but might be right by saying, I think Kamala Harris is going to win.
I mean, no one knows here.
No.
What gets you irked, pal?
You remember, hey, you remember when Hillary Quentin was running against Donald Trump
and the polls were all, like, heavily skewered in her favor,
and everybody was like, oh, it's a sure thing.
It's a layup.
She had it in the bag, yeah, it was a...
And then famously, all the MAGA people...
Folks.
Is it MAGA or MAGA?
You know what it is.
I really, truly don't.
It's like my dad's birthday.
I never remember if it's November 2nd or 3rd, which makes me a terrible son.
Which one is it?
I don't remember right now.
I think it's November 3rd.
And just like your dad's birthday, it is MAGA.
Maga.
Okay, great.
Mock America, great again.
Maga.
All those MAGA heads after Hillary lost were like,
that's why you can't trust the polls.
You can't trust the media telling you the polls.
Well, I think that we're dealing with a similar thing
because right now all the polls are showing, well, some of like, 538.
It's a virtual tie, pretty much.
But like all the betting markets and stuff, and they're very, very, I'm going to use a word
that I really like, they're very cocksure.
Yeah.
Interesting.
What, the cocksure?
No, just, I don't know how much to factor in the betting markets.
I mean, that's just, and that's a pretty new.
And we'll get to that.
That's a pretty new thing.
I don't know.
But I think that Kamala will win.
A bigger question is, when will we know, do you think?
You think we'll know election night?
No.
A lot of swing states have already said
we're not going to have a results election night.
I heard today that Mississippi,
I think it's Mississippi, not that they're a swing state, but...
That's the thing.
People have asked us to do a live stream on the night of.
But also, friends are like,
are we going to watch it together?
It's like, for what, there's just a guy all night goes like,
and they're saying, you know,
they've got some votes coming in and close.
Polls are about to close, and we think, you know, people are saying, it's just like, what?
And famously, yeah, you remember my story of watching Trump win with fucking Fred Armisen and
the, who are those girls? The Broad City girls? And the vibe. I didn't, I've told you this
story. I kind of remember. My girlfriend at the time worked on, um, Portlandia. Okay. And
Kerry Brownstein invited us over to her house for election night. Carrie Brownstein.
that's very good
but it was it was it was me her
the two broad city girls
Abby Jacobson and Alan Glazer
and Fred Armisen and his girlfriend at the time
who was the girl from Russian doll
what's her name?
Natasha Leon.
Yeah, yeah, her.
And Fred Armisen was so disinterested
and like they were calling you know whatever swing state for for trump and everybody's like
oh and then he goes what's the big deal is that is that bad just truly so checked out and
it was just very funny and i felt very uncomfortable and out of place because uh yeah uh i was
i was young and i was just like i don't i don't and also at one point alana glazer just goes
fucking white men
I'm sitting there and I'm like
yeah that sucks
I don't know
I don't know
yeah those guys are pretty oh yeah
those guys are pretty bad
I fucking hate those guys
yeah I think it's probably time
to go home
but yeah
the vibes
it was truly like that
SNL sketch with
when Dave Chappelle
hosted where it was like
okay that's fine
we lost so and so
at least we still got
these states
and then as they kept
getting called for Trump
the air
It just was getting just sucked out of the room.
Oh, boy.
So I think that we're probably not going to know right away.
I think we'll probably know by the end of the week next week.
I want to know what happens to all these people's money if...
Oh, right.
I mean, we'll get to it.
The betting markets?
Yeah, but like not only the...
Even once the election's called, I mean, if they just overthrow the government, what does that mean?
Do you get your money back?
That's a great question, man.
Yeah, I don't understand how...
I don't understand most betting
where it's like the Super Bowl.
Like, okay, what happens if you...
Well, that one makes sense, because there's usually a winner.
It's pretty clear-cut.
But what if you just put money on both teams?
On each team.
It's just not very smart.
I guess.
All right, but...
It's never the same odds.
Yeah, okay, yeah, you're right, you're right.
Yeah, I didn't ask that, though.
That's not what I asked.
But even if the odds were the same...
Yeah.
You just...
They would just cancel each other.
Yeah. So that's why I don't gamble, folks.
The only people who do that are businesses and, you know.
Sports books.
No, no, no. Like with politics.
Oh, right.
They're like, we're putting money on both teams.
Yeah. But I was very upset.
Because either way, we win.
I think there was a swing state. I just heard on the radio.
I want to say it was Mississippi, which isn't a swing state, but it was either Mississippi or Michigan or Minnesota.
but they came out and said
they are not counting any mail-in ballots
that arrive after Tuesday
which pisses me right off
even if they're postmarked
if they're postmarked before Tuesday
doesn't matter if they arrive after Tuesday
they're not going to be counted
and I'm just I just
I I don't know how it works in Michigan
but in California
we just have drop box
So if you don't have to mail it in, they'll just, you wouldn't have to post data.
You could just drop it in the box and they can go pick it up that day.
Did you know that a lot of drop, I think most drop boxes have their own built-in fire suppression systems?
Well, they better because they're blowing the goddamn things up.
Yeah, I saw that.
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Anyway, speaking of betting markets, I thought we would talk a little bit about that because
they're predicting, they're very, very strongly predicting a Trump victory.
And a lot of these fucking dorks are pointing to that as evidence that Trump is winning,
is going to win.
But I think you've got to look at the demographic.
graphics of the people who are making these bets.
And I'm pretty sure I would, I would wager.
The gambling, in the Venn diagram, the gambling and Trump voter circles are quite...
Yeah.
They look like if you're cross-eyed, it's just a little, yeah.
So there's Kalshi and Polly Market and Robin Hood just announced.
Our old friends Robin Hood.
Our old friends Robin Hood, which is trading very...
And I'll tell you what.
What?
That motherfucker was like, this is not a gambling website.
Yeah.
This is not a gambling website.
And now they're...
Emil, I am trying to democratize finance.
Remember how he had that weird...
This little shit kicker.
He had that weird sinus thing going on.
Remember that?
I think that might have just been...
I just remember him going like...
Like choking on his post nasal drip.
I'm like, bud, do you need some water or some tea?
Whatever.
But they're all showing...
Weird thing to bring up again.
I'm talking about stuff he said.
Well, you got to remember that I was a little high when I, when we were interviewing him.
Sure.
But that was hot.
Who cares that it in nasal tick?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, because it was so prominent.
I was like, dude.
He lied to us about it.
Well, so, uh, they're all showing at least 60% odds of Trump winning.
Um, but like I said, I don't think that it's accurate.
It's not traditional polling.
It's not polling.
It's not accurate in any way.
Those are people who are betting.
It's not any indication of national polling.
But if you're on...
I'm just clarifying because when you say it's not accurate.
Exactly. That's why.
It is accurate.
It reflects what people are placing bets on.
Yes.
It's not accurate for the outcome of the election.
Right.
So if you're worried out there, if you've been seeing those charts of betting markets,
you know, don't take too much stock in those.
For example, it was just revealed that there was one French national
who built a huge position on polymarket spread over four.
else. So some French guys out there going,
Oh, I think Mr. Trump is going to win.
So I'm going to put 20 million euros into this polymarket.
Is that pretty good?
Yeah, he was in and out.
If there's any French people out there,
suck it up, dude. Come on. It's all in good fun.
It wouldn't be a stereotype if it wasn't a little bit true.
I've never heard a French person make that sound.
No, I was, that's just a, that's just an old,
I don't know where that came from.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
But I got to tip my hat to America because it's just,
what?
Are you tipping into the French people?
No, because this is our election.
Okay.
They, they, this really is the most American thing of all time
that we are now openly just gambling on the outcome of the presidential election.
I think our forefathers would be very proud.
George Washington, it's, and all the rest.
They'd probably be like, what's with all the black people walking around free?
You know, because they all own Slate.
Sure, yeah, yeah.
What did you guys do?
What's going on?
What is the internet?
Shut up, idiot.
They'd be confused about a lot of stuff.
Yeah, shut up, Ben Franklin.
Imagine having to punch George Washington's stupid wooden teeth out.
Yeah, he'd go, oh, oh, oh, my teeth.
Okay, that was terrible.
Yeah, that was bad.
But, okay, so gambling do be...
Really bad.
Gambling do be a big issue right now.
I was looking up stats.
The National Council on Problem Gambling has said that about two and a half million adults in the United States meet the criteria of having a severe gambling problem, with 5 to 8 million considered to have mild or moderate gambling problems.
So that's concerning to me.
Yeah, I think opening up the...
the floodgates on the gambling stuff was a fucking mistake.
Terrible idea.
And apparently New Jersey,
not pointing any fingers here,
but there was a landmark case in New Jersey
that really opened them floodgates back in like 2018.
And it's allowed, uh,
it just kind of, yeah.
Sports betting is now legal in 38 states and Washington, D.C.,
and 80% of it is done online.
It's just, I, I, it's getting so out of hand.
I mean, no disrespect to the gambling community.
I just, I can't.
The prestigious gambling community.
I just don't understand.
Are you going to add a color to the pride flag?
What color would it be green?
Well, I mean, to be fair, people have serious problems with it.
Serious problems.
It ruins people's lives.
So I don't want to, you know, I don't want to be.
Yeah.
If you got a problem, call 1,800, 100 gambler.
But I just do not get my rocks off on.
No.
It doesn't.
No.
It doesn't do.
for me. You get your rocks off on tennis.
I get my rocks off on a lot of things. I bet there's some...
But losing my money?
Yeah.
Not going to do it for me.
Yeah.
I'm surprised you wouldn't like it.
Well,
it's just...
There's a couple things that turn me off about sports.
I can see it lighting up your little plain brain.
No, because there's too much...
Like, when I watched Uncut Gems, I wanted to shrivel
into a ball and just die.
Like, that kind of shit is like so degenerate, so unattractive.
it's so just like, what are you doing, man?
I remember back before it was fully legal,
my brother Sam was betting on just fucking around with like offshore betting
and he was fucking around with a Laker game.
And he was making multiple bets in the middle of a game.
Just like, yeah, why not?
I'm trying it out.
And that's the thing is they've got all these snap bets.
And it's, it's so depressing.
Yeah, I hear radio commercials, I see TV commercials, it's all just like, you can bet on like the next pitch in baseball.
Oh, yeah, the prop bets.
It's fucking insane, man.
They're called microbedding.
You can bet on the coin toss at the Super Bowl.
Oh, yeah.
That's a...
Oh, okay.
That's an old one.
Oh, okay.
Who's going to sing the national anthem at halftime?
Yeah, that kind of shit.
But Jesus Christ, dude.
I bet Diane Warwick every year and I lose.
Do you mean Dion?
Diane.
It's Dion.
Commenters, let them know.
I thought, is it really Diane?
I don't know.
And also, yeah, with smartphones,
it's easier to start,
harder to stop,
and it's fucking 24-7.
You got a casino in your...
Screw having, like,
the world's knowledge at your fingertips.
You got a damn casino in your pocket.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Connect that credit card, let it rip.
Yeah.
Oh, please, folks, don't do that.
That's why we've turned down
ads for fucking draft kings is we don't want to contribute to that but you know who who might
be losing their draft kings thing who Tony Hinchcliff draft kicks oh boy oh because he said the things
about Puerto Ricans draft kings is pissed at them you know nobody can take a joke these days right
that's the woke mob that's the problem it's all you little babies you yeah woke virus
snowflake yeah fuckers but so also uh also uh
It's not just adults. It's the young people. I read that one in five young, this is also according to the online gambling thing. One in five young people had spent their own money on regulated forms of gambling in the last 12 months and over half had seen or heard gambling ads online or offline. And this was really depressing. Twenty-eight percent had seen family members they live with gamble. And of those, ten percent said it had resulted in arguments or tension at home.
which sucks, but here's what rocks.
Another 12% said that gambling had helped pay for things at home,
like vacations and stuff.
So just remember, sometimes it will pay off.
And you'll get like a...
But that's the thing.
Everyone I know who gambles,
when they're up, it's like they forget about all the losses.
It's like, look at all this.
We've got to spend.
We're fucking, we're in the money, baby.
But the losses are just, it completely goes,
at the window. Yeah. And of course, the biggest casino in the world, the stock market is not
immune to this. Options trading, which is tantamount to, I mean, trading in general is essentially
kind of gambling, but options. I'm shocked to who you say this. I've had this. People always ask
me that. I've had this argument with you and you're like, it's not gambling. I don't, I don't view it as
gambling. But he's just called it the biggest casino in the world. What? Did I? Yep. I don't
remember that. Check the tape. The biggest casino in the world has.
I don't know about that.
And then you said options,
which you're always doing
is like...
Well, what I mean by that
is...
What do you mean by the little words
you were saying?
What I mean by that is
it's...
It can be treated
like a casino
and can be treated like gambling.
So like Wall Street Betts,
for example, the guys who are just
putting all their chips in one thing
and then losing it that day.
Did you see the guy who like
it was the inverse Wall Street bets
and he's making so much money?
No. I mean, of course.
Wait, really? Yeah.
Well, and that's an ongoing joke.
It's right. Whenever there's a viral post on Wall Street bets
saying that they...
It's like the inverse Kramer ETS.
Yeah, they're making some kind of declaration.
You got something in there?
What? I had an itch. Yeah, I picked my nose.
So whatever. You know what? It's part of my body
and I'm free to do whatever I want.
If you're pro-choice, you should be pro me picking my nose
because it's my choice. My body?
I shouldn't make that choice.
joke with so much on the line. I'm so sorry, everybody. Yeah, options trading has blown up and is at
all-time highs. Yeah. That blew up with the pandemic stuff. Oh my God. At home and it's like,
oh, I just download this app and it's as simple as that. And it became a meme that everybody's online
just like blowing their stimmy checks on GameStop and on Tesla. You have the TikToks of guys who
figured they thought they cracked the stock market. Yeah. Okay, guys, it's simple. I buy a stock
And if it's going up, I keep buying more. And when it goes down, I sell it.
Yeah. It's really, it's just that simple. But yeah, options trading used to be a much less liquid market.
You could only buy, I believe it started out quarterly. So you could buy quarterly.
And then they introduced monthly options and then weekly and now they've got fucking daily options.
And it makes it so that I've said it before and harped on it.
both put some money on
who we think is going to win right now?
You mean on like Kalshi?
Yeah.
No.
No.
I don't understand how it works.
It can't be that difficult.
It's super easy.
They want to take your money right now.
Yeah.
They're not making it difficult to get it.
No, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that.
Okay.
You can.
And we can follow along with it.
Put your money where your mouth is.
Put it where your mouth is right now.
Okay.
Grab your money.
Put it out.
take it out. I don't have any cash on me. Give me a dollar. And now there's news that the New York Stock Exchange, which is obviously, if you don't know what that is, I don't know what the hell to tell you, but it's, it's exactly what it sounds like. It is the New York Stock Exchange. They're trying to extend trading hours to 22 hours a day. Isn't it just now it just needs to be approved at this point? I believe so. I mean, Robin Hood's already getting, I don't know how they're doing it, but they've gotten around it by introducing like 24 hour trading.
on specific stocks.
I don't know which ones,
but I think they're making a market
and then settling those trades
when the actual market opens up.
But yeah.
And part of it is due to
the massive rise in retail traders,
which is everyday people like you and me.
Yeah, how is that going to affect?
I can't imagine if this gets approved
that investment bankers,
are now all of a sudden going to be just trading 22 hours a day.
That's a really good question.
I think that they're probably going to, they'll maybe have people working in shifts.
No way.
Yeah, I mean, you, I imagine.
I would imagine that Goldman Sachs, they'll have like, all right, well, just have like the night shift traders.
I mean, they kind of do that already, but it's more so like, okay, the teams in Europe, for example.
sure. But they're doing that for people who work the normal hours of the market who can't
actively participate. And also for foreign traders. It's a move for that. Come with me on a day in the life
as a European New York. European? What'd you say? New York investment banker. Yeah.
But yeah, it's madness. And speaking of gambling, God, you love to see it. You hate it at the same time. Donald J. Trump.
stock. Yes, that's right. In case you forgot, there is a ticker symbol out there,
DJT, Donald J. Trump, aka Truth Social.
AKA, where, you know, the news is, where the real news is. Oh, yeah, where the real news is at.
Yeah, hence the name. It is up 400% from the September lows. And you know, you really got
to hand it to the guy because he's the first person in the history of the world to really
successfully monetize, whether he's doing it on purpose or not,
monetizing running for president. This is where the real money is going to be made.
Don't bet on the election.
Fucking getting on some DJT before you.
Absolutely don't do that.
Please don't do that.
No, do it.
And also, if you're...
Because if he wins?
You ever heard the old adage, buy the rumor, sell the news?
Yeah, from you.
Because that's part of the thing.
Okay, so there's a lot to unpack here.
First of all...
You don't think DJT will fucking pump if,
I'll get to that.
I'll get to that.
Because I think there's, that's a valid, that's a really good question.
First of all, Donald Trump owns about 57, 57.
Fuck.
It's okay.
No one even cared.
I'm going to crash my car into a wall.
I'm just going to.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
He owns about 57% of it, right?
And that stake is worth, as of.
yesterday, um, is worth about 5.4 billion dollars, more than half of his net worth. So though, and,
and that has increased by about four billion dollars since the stock jumped from September
lows. But the company itself is total dog shit. No, it's not. Yes, it is. This is bullshit. You
cannot talk about Donny boys. So, so back to your question. Um, if Trump wins, uh, should I buy
DJT. No, don't buy it if he wins. Buy it in the anticipation of him. Right. Well, so it has already
gone up from like $12 a share to like $55 a share. So a lot of it is already priced in. The market
has been, the degenerates have been bidding up his stock in anticipation of a Trump victory.
Right. And further, so part of that is he, the stock is a proxy for
Trump himself.
You're not buying truth social
because if you were,
you're a full-blown,
verifiable,
dipshit dumbass.
People use it.
I told you,
I saw it in the wild.
Yeah.
Saw an old lady opening up.
I was like,
wow, cool.
It's just like the meme coins.
Like, you're not buying them
for any,
for any, like,
monetary value.
You're buying them because
the market is,
there's slowly,
not slowly,
actually,
of the market that's tokenization of attention.
So like, oh, Doge is such a big thing.
You're essentially buying stock in a meme
on the supposition that that meme has staying power.
And there's nothing, if you try to think beyond that,
you're just going to hurt yourself.
I know it's not your fault, but just that sentence,
I wanted to take the gun that we have taped under our desk and shoot you.
I don't blame you.
I fully don't.
When you say stuff like that?
I'm just the messenger here.
When do you say stuff like that?
Yeah. I'm just explaining what's going on, man. But yeah, so in the same regard, because
True Social, by virtue of the stock price right now, it's valued at $9 billion on a whopping
$1.6 million in revenues for the first six months of this year. That's absolutely beyond stupid.
Like, that's just unsustainable, untenable. It makes no sense, especially since he's
using Twitter again.
Nobody's going to be going over there.
Nobody after he wins,
they're,
that's where, again,
that's the big binary event.
That's what everybody's buying
in anticipation of.
If he wins and if he loses,
what's the catalyst thereafter?
Oh, Donald Trump going to use
true social to fucking what?
He cozies up.
He's already cozyed up to Elon Musk.
He gets Elon Musk to shut down X
and move all the team.
No, obviously not.
And you compare that to Reddit that did $524 million in revenues on a $13 billion market cap.
So, yeah, they're not buying it for the company.
People are buying it as a proxy for Trump, supporting Trump, and as a bet on the outcome of the election.
So I actually made a couple thousand dollars today, shorting DJT.
Because the premiums and the options are so jacked and so high and so high.
priced for perfection, I shorted some. I shorted some call options. And all I need it to do is stay away
from 70. I think I bought, I think I sold the $70 strike calls. So I just needed to stay away from
$70 over the next two weeks, over the next week. And the price of those options should start to
drop. And then I'll buy them back. And then I'll make more money. How much money are we talking?
I bet $10,000.
Holy shit.
You won't put it on Kalshi?
Dude.
Well, I soon say that I bet $10,000.
I sold them for an immediate...
If they go to zero, I will make $10,000.
But I won't even hold them to zero.
I'll probably end up, you know, covering them earlier.
But speaking of, I just got to say real fast...
Reddit?
Reddit, man.
Uh-uh-uh.
I will say...
Did I fucking call it or what?
I feel like...
I don't know, but...
When it was at like $40 a share,
I was talking about it.
And it said $99 a share right now.
I do kind of feel like Redis days are numbered, though.
No way. Why?
I just think it's going to be full of AI slop within...
Two years, if not a year.
Really? Yeah.
Interesting.
I think all the communities are going to be just...
It's not going to be the same...
I hope you're wrong.
I hope I'm wrong.
too. It's like the last bastion of a some semblance of an internet we used to know. But it's still,
there are communities being ruined by just. Yeah. My hope is that that's not going to be the case.
And as is evidenced by their earnings report that just came out, they posted a beat on daily active users, profits, revenue, just all around.
I think that in a year or two's time, they're going to be trading at over $100 billion
valuation.
And in hindsight, it's going to be like, wow, yeah, that was the biggest no-brainer
of all time.
It's fucking Reddit.
Oh, I should stop pounding.
What?
Oh, you want to bet some city points or chase points?
I'll bet chase a five points.
Two years from now.
Two years from now.
Oh, geez.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, check that out, bitch.
Well, do the one-year chart because I think it's only been, yeah.
And I remember when it, when it debuted, even I was nervous.
When it was IPOing, it was at, uh, guys, even Ben was nervous.
Well, because it was at a, it was at a $6 billion or $8 billion evaluation and everybody was like, oh, God, what the fuck?
That's way overpriced.
But you look at it now and it's like, it's Reddit.
Twitter, um, Twitter was at like a, I don't even remember, $55 billion, about $40 billion?
I think it was $44 billion or $44 billion valuation.
Yeah, it was, um.
Uh, let's see. Yeah, what was, uh, just do valuation. Oh yeah, 41, 40, yeah, roughly 40 billion dollars. Anyway, uh, I think that they're gonna figure out advertising. And I think that, um, all their data is going to be absolutely invaluable to training, um, AIs. To, to, to its own demise.
Perhaps, yeah. Um, but, guys, we got so good at doing this. Now I can just regurgitate shit back.
you.
Don't you think that
someone's be like,
what's the best
toothpaste brand?
And then a Colgate
AI is not
going to just come
and be like,
have you guys
ever actually tried
Colgate's brand
toothpaste?
It actually is so refreshing
and that's certainly
possible.
It's already been a
problem for a long time
of just being mined for
for a long time
it was BuzzFeed writers.
Right.
Right.
Doing a,
hey guys,
what are your
top 10 shows from the 90s?
Yeah.
And people be like,
get out of your
Buzzfeed, right?
Well,
so that's,
so that's actually
a good point that I think I would use against your first assertion.
Don't use shit against me.
Because I think that if people, if the community can sniff out AIs, they will actively
be able to keep them at bay. And I would hope that the company and the people working there
would also realize it. I think it'll be on the people. I think it'll be on Reddit.
True. I mean, yeah. I don't know. I don't know. We'll see. Because you could make that argument
across social media platforms.
You could say that about Instagram.
Dude, look at those platforms.
Facebook's unusable.
You start a new profile.
You're immediately getting hit with Shrimp Jesus.
You're immediately getting hit with like all the AI bullshit.
Twitter, I mean, is close to...
True.
Being a...
You can't tell if you're even...
Well, you're getting people the same.
You're getting people being like...
Is this still available?
I will send you $500 for this thing
that you're asking $50 for.
People are getting tricked by things
they think are real images.
Yeah, yeah.
So what will be the point?
And yet, they're still fucking churning out.
Because we got nothing else to do.
They're printing money.
Again, I think these are valid concerns.
But I think that the market will reprice Reddit
to the upside before anything like that happens.
God willing, because I own a lot of Reddit.
Okay, so let's talk about market predictions.
You got your crystal ball?
I told you to bring one.
Wow, look at that thing.
Oh, my gosh.
Is it pliable?
What's going on here?
He just gave me the cutest nut.
You just like a sweet little guy.
I also just forgot that I have this on because I was like,
what's on my head that's tight?
It's your birthday, it's my birthday.
It's my birthday.
Everybody be nice this time in the comments.
I read the comments about the AI
stuff you're you're fine you're right you're all entitled to your opinion bitch if your opinion
and your opinions that i suck and i'm an idiot god dude they were brutal they were just like why would
they say i don't remember i blacked it out because it was just like god please give me a break you did
have some childlike wonder well yeah yeah but like give me a break it's me baby you know me
i'm a childlike i got wonder like emil just said
sure so yeah here's the so the market predictions um the market is at all time highs right now
uh so all that's to say is there's not a whole lot of uncertainty about what's to come
that doesn't mean that there can't be any uncertainty after it comes but i think in that sense
the market has priced in
most of the potential outcomes.
And I'm going to go ahead and say
that I think, and I believe
it's Mike Wilson from
Morgan Stanley agrees that the market
has priced in a Harris win.
So ignore the Pauley market.
I think that the stock market,
the bigger casino, is pricing
in a Harris win and has not yet
considered a Trump win.
Yeah, but did you see Larry Fink?
What Larry Fink say?
From Black Rock. He's just like,
we don't give a fuck oh right yeah we don't care we don't care it won't matter to us yeah we own
both of them we're gonna be fine yeah um and stop asking me stupid questions to that end um
typically elections don't really have much of yeah there he goes he said uh he doesn't care the
significance i'm tired of hearing this is the biggest election in your lifetime the reality is
over time it doesn't matter i mean that's a very
that's a very privileged way to talk about it, Larry Fink.
But yeah, they typically elections don't have much of an effect on the markets, but...
Well, I mean, and to be fair to Larry Fink, the options really are, you know, a Republican who's going to be pretty friendly to business or a fascist who's going to be pretty friendly to business.
So it's like he's going to win either way.
and markets tend to do better leading up to elections and then have weaker returns in the years
after and they tend to perform better under Democrats. And one of the most important things is
stock market follows economic conditions and not necessarily electoral ones. And yeah,
I personally don't think that we're going to have much volatility unless there's a contested
election, which I think could very well happen. I think that Trump's probably going to, I mean,
I wish I could bet on this, but I think Trump's going to fucking call bullshit on the whole thing
and raise a fuss. I mean, that's a given. Even when he won in 2016, he was like, it was very unfair
like? Yeah. There was a damn break. It was like, did you want? Just take the win. Either way,
if the market does drop, I think like every drop in the last decade, it's just going to get
bought right back up. So I would look at it as an opportunity. I'm looking at it as an opportunity.
And also... So if Trump loses, the market dips, you're saying bye, bye, bye, bye.
No matter what happens, if the market takes a precipitous sudden drop, I think it's going to
absolutely get bought up, especially going into the end of the year. And also, kind of...
Damn, dude, I'm going to be logged in on my fucking Vanguard account election night, just fucking
waiting. I wouldn't, I don't think
it would happen until a week
after that. I was being hyperbolic.
But, but
we are also closing in on
six straight
green months
of the marketing. Let's get some gay green months.
Let the gay greens come in.
Dude, it's so, it's unrelenting
and it's all driven by options
flow and it's, it's fucking
exhausting to watch because it's like
they've just finally figured it out.
They've got it down pat.
All of this leverage in the system almost ensures that they can just keep it just ever ticking ever higher.
And it's equal parts frustrating and fascinating to watch unfold.
It's like I've said, it is the tail wag.
Options are the tail that wags a dog.
And that dog's got a fucking turd lined up and it just wants to poop.
It just wants to let it out.
But the tail won't let it.
everyone is so
I mean just the entire
American economy has become basically
the stock market at this point
any politician is going to be
wrapped up in
making sure we just climb ever higher
it's just it
yeah it's like the one
it that's the bellwether and then
to a lesser extent interest rates
and unemployment like nobody even talks
about unemployment anymore
I don't hear shit about it.
When they talk about the economy, they mean the stock markets go up.
Yeah.
And here's a fun stat.
20 out of 24 times since 1928, the incumbent party wins if the S&P traded in positive territory,
the three-month period leading up to the election.
And we're up 11% in this last three months.
Interestingly, that stat was negated when Biden won.
That's one of the four times since 1928 that that stat didn't apply.
Yeah, I think some of these old stats, it's just, we're in such a different...
I know.
Well, Trump changed everything.
Ball game here.
It feels silly to even...
But so, yeah, here's some of my predictions.
I think that if Trump loses, first of all, DJT drops, and probably if he wins, too, I think
that all of the air is going to get sucked out of that.
Also, you know what's really funny I thought of the other day?
You know how it's become a conservative thing talking about the population crisis?
Sure. I mean, I know Elon Musk talks about it.
Yeah. I think that if Donald Trump were to die, that would give us an all-new baby boom.
If Donald Trump were to die, why?
People would be celebrating by fucking and coming inside.
And I think, I just, I got a fucking bust inside you.
Trump is dead.
Right. I also think that...
That's insane.
Well, the other big point is I think that it would alleviate a lot of the existential dread that a lot of people have that's keeping them from having children.
Are you talking about yourself specifically?
Oh.
I don't think that's...
I think you're giving Trump a lot of credit on that.
I don't think Trump dying is going to make people feel...
Like, if anyone's not having a kid, I don't think they're like, oh, Trump.
I think they're worried about climate catastrophe, all of these.
But if like the main top of the totem pole gets lopped off,
I feel like he's emblematic of all of these issues.
There's no realistic option for any, like anyone becoming president who wants to take climate change seriously.
My theory is fucking wrong.
I mean, it could be right.
I'm just like, I can't imagine people being like,
babe, he's dead.
You're telling me you're not going to have sex
to celebrate when Donald Trump dies.
Trying to tell me right now,
look at me in the face
and say,
I'm not going to fuck when Donald Trump dies.
I don't, I've never been like,
we can have celebrated
celebratory sex.
Yeah.
Oh,
I'll just be so happy and horny.
Wait, what?
I really,
I'll probably, I mean, I'm single,
so I'm single, so I'm going to just jerk off.
Also, what about all the,
what about all the sad people who,
uh,
The maggots?
The maggots.
Can I tell everyone why they're so pissed at me?
Who?
Oh, yeah.
The maggots?
Do do tell.
Also, here's the thing about Twitter.
For the most part, you tweet stuff out, your followers, see it.
It gets a couple hundred likes and you go, okay.
Yeah.
Boy, you never know what's, oh my God, it's at 74,000 likes.
Oh, my God.
Seventy-four thousand likes?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
God, you got to reply to it and promote the show, dude.
By the way, I've got a show a liberal show.
If this triggers you, you're going to really be triggered by my show.
Basically, there was that fucking Nick Bosa guy.
There was a clip of him.
Who's Nick Bosa, football player?
Yeah, he's like a defensive end for the 49ers.
I don't follow fucking football.
Don't comment to be like, Nick Boso is actually a fucking tight shot out.
Sounds like Nick Bozo.
but he
he jumps in on his
on his teammates post-game interview
and he's got a little
Make America Great Again hat
and he does his
thing and then slinks away
and I found it very annoying
because I just find the whole thing
annoying it seems to me
it's just like a very trolley following
obviously right it's
a big part of that whole thing
so I just retweeted it
or quote tweeted and I said
so much of the maga bullshit I see
is just dudes desperately wanting to be a troll
there's no ideology
they don't care about anything substantive.
It's just pure teenage boy bullshit.
I know because I was a teenage boy,
you're supposed to grow out of it,
all-time loser shit.
Well, then you followed up
because they gave them an opportunity to talk about it.
It pissed me off even more
because they're like, okay,
so you had that fucking,
you had your little moment with the hat,
what's the deal?
And he's just like,
I'm not going to talk about it.
I just think it's an important time.
And it's like, dude, you got your moment.
You want to, you know,
you think it's such a fucking special thing.
Go ahead and say something.
I saw a video.
And they got nothing to fucking say.
Of course.
But the funniest thing about it is,
it's very funny to tweet this and be like,
it's all just like troll bullshit.
It's all just,
there's nothing substantive.
And then as soon as it hit like 5,000 likes,
I was like,
ah, fuck,
it's going to reach right wing people.
And just immediately,
you know,
people calling me,
I'm sure you can,
guest. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Retarded. Yeah.
Questioning my gender. Um, there was...
I bet you got pronouns at his bio. Yeah. I bet you got pronouns. You fucking liberal.
But, oh, not even pronouns, but just fully, you know. Yeah. I've, uh, I clearly transitioned and
all of, it's just like, it's just so, it's, you guys are doing the thing. I said,
Yeah.
Or it just, like, triggered.
Yeah.
Uh, I saw, I saw an awful clip somewhere in Florida.
This woman's driving somewhere with her husband and kid in the back and has a Harris sticker on her car.
And this young man, this young guy in a truck, rolls down his window and flips him off and says,
Fuck you!
Truck 2nd24, bitch!
It's like, Jesus Christ, man.
Cool it with the language, right?
it's fucking insane.
Yeah.
If you're gonna start shit like that,
drive them off the road
and then have the conversation.
It's really dangerous to yell.
Seeing it, it just really is.
It's just seeing grown men behave the way,
you know, me and my numskull friends in New Jersey behave.
And it all comes from Donald Trump himself.
That's why I said he's...
I don't know if it comes from...
Dude, he's the father of it.
He birthed this entire movement
of just being a toxic,
bloviating piece of shit.
I mean, I think it gives them an excuse to behave that way.
I think they...
Yeah.
He didn't, like, invent that, you know, fucking...
It's shitty reactionary bullshit.
And that's just a banner for them to be behind.
Yeah.
People are kind of like that always, like frat dudes and stuff.
They just want to be like...
Eh, well...
Aren't I bad ass?
Anyway, I think that, uh...
Sadly, I think that if Trump wins, Dogecoin is also going to really, really go up because he's going to assign Elon Musk to be in the Department of Government Efficiency, which is called Doge.
And I also think Tesla is going to go up if he wins.
I think Tesla could also go up if Harris wins.
Trump is also very friendly to the biotech industry or pharmaceutical.
In that prediction, you think Elon is going to end up working in Trump's cabinet?
100%. Yeah.
That sucks.
I know, but he, I mean, if he does...
Also, the way he, I saw his thing about talking about, you know,
cutting government waste and all those things.
And it's just like, it's very funny after we watched him for,
how long has it been now, a year since the Twitter stuff, more?
Just, and his followers think he did a great job.
They're like, look, he cut all this stuff and Twitter works just fine.
But anyone who's not brainwashed him was like,
no, there's a real difference.
here. This fucking sucks. It used to be a functioning thing, and he turned into some awful hellscape where, you know...
I think that's by design, though. It's his algorithm that he wants.
But it's not just the right-wing bullshit, which, I mean, the Wall Street Journal just did an article about it. I was surprised because they're pretty right-wing. But they were pointing out the right-wing bias on Twitter. And it shows you political stuff, even if you're not interested in it. So it's not just like reading your algorithm.
Can't escape. Pushing stuff to you.
And it's like heavily shifted towards right-wing stuff.
But it's not just that algorithm.
It's the completely broken moderation tools.
The bots seem worse than ever,
which was that was one of the things he said he was going to do.
I'm going to get rid of bots.
It seems...
He also said a year ago that by the end of this,
in one year, it's going to be the world's biggest dating site, too.
I'm waiting for that to happen.
and, I mean, come on.
But I think it's a pretty clear example of what he wants to do with government spending.
I think he's going to take our administrative state, which is already on the brink of failing and just being like, fuck it, nothing works anymore.
Yeah.
It's scary times, folks.
Scary times.
Let's see.
Scary times for Halloween.
Well, I guess, yeah, he's going to, according to Forbes, if Trump wins, energy stocks, defense stocks, finance names are all beneficiaries because of his wanting to drill, increase military spending and rollback regulations in the finance sector.
Also, infrastructure and materials and construction and pharma companies.
Harris wins, clean energy, possibly, health care services due to the expansion of the Affordable Care Act.
She says that she says that she'd support federal legalization of marijuana, which could get fun because all those stocks are in the toilet, in the proverbial toilet.
Not in the real toilet?
Yeah, not in the real toilet, man.
No, that's for poop and pee.
And sometimes a little bit of vomit.
Oh, weed stocks, get out of here.
This is for poop and pee.
This is for poop and pee, dude.
And she's also harped on national security.
Fuck, that's two.
I swear to God.
I don't even have to count me.
I'm going to start my car and just let it run.
Are you going to leave it out?
Yeah.
Sorry, we shouldn't joke about that.
I'm a kitten, folks.
She's a...
Did you say I'm a kitten, folks?
No, I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
But I am a kitten.
She's harped on national cybersecurity being a necessary thing.
So there's companies like crowds.
No, that's three strikes.
Crowds strike.
No, now you have to...
There's a gun taped under your desk.
I got to shoot a finger off.
And I also, I've talked about it before, but it's not even a bold prediction on my part because it's out there in the open.
I think that regardless, we're going to see a continued push toward nuclear power in part due to AI.
Amazon, Google, Microsoft, Cisco, they've all announced that they're going to be investing heavily in it on these small modular reactors.
I also think that regardless of who wins, but probably more so under Trump that Bitcoin does really well.
It's already, it's right there at all-time highs.
It's like one and a half percent away.
So, I mean, I really got to hand it to Michael Saylor, tip of the hat, the micro-strategy guy.
I mean, if I can't remember if I was skeptical.
We actually don't have to hand it to ISIS.
Micro Strategy, Michael Strategy?
They should call it Michael Strategy.
That's pretty good.
Michael Strategy has been, I mean, it's at all-time highs, and they're just continuing
to crush it.
Coinbase, all the minor, all the Bitcoin minor stocks like M-A-R-A, Riot, B-I-T-F, B-T-B-T-R, not O-R.
Yes, that is ER, not O-R.
What do you make of the billionaires killing, killing endorsements on their, on their publications, their newspapers?
Oh, oh, yeah. I think that that's, I mean, you were telling me that it's pretty obvious that they're doing it to try to cozy up to Trump?
Well, it depends on you.
Well, so the L.A. Times and the Washington Post are the big one.
The L.A. Times, the daughter of the guy said...
Because she owns it, right?
Or does the daughter own the L.A. Times?
I don't think the daughter owns it.
She said it's because...
She said it's because of Gaza, right?
Gaza.
And they can't...
They can't in good conscience back Kamala.
Bezos fully
you know
he released the whole statement
and was like
we're going back to our roots
we're going back to our roots.
We never used to do this before
it was I think it was like
1976 or 1972
I don't know
it was 1976 or 1972
and but people were calling him out
because it was
you know right after
some of the team
from Blue Origin and stuff met with
I met with Trump and they were like,
hmm, this feels weird.
I think you don't want to get your little heinie spanked
in case he wins and your...
He said, no undecided voters in Pennsylvania are going to say,
I'm going with newspaper A's endorsement.
That I do think is true.
Well, and then, I mean, I want to try to be as fair as possible.
He did say, what presidential endorsements actually do
is create a perception of bias,
a perception of non-independence.
Ending them is a principal decision and it's the right one.
The op-ed with the headline, The Hard Truth, Americans Don't Trust the News Media, was published hours after NPR reported that the Washington Post had lost more than 200,000 digital subscribers.
That's the shocking thing.
I think the subscribers keep coming.
It's almost 10% of their fucking subscriber base.
Yeah, that's big.
Because they have something like, I don't know, two and a half million paid subscribers.
Sounds about right.
I don't think it makes a difference.
The timing of it is obviously super sketchy.
Yeah.
You know?
I would do this.
I would announce this in 2022.
I would say, you know, we're not doing a...
We're not doing that.
We're not endorsing a candidate for 2024.
And everyone would go, okay.
Yeah.
But days before the election, after you met with Trump.
It's a little sketcheruny.
I'm going to go ahead to see.
He comments it on it. He said, it's unfortunate timing.
It's unfortunate timing.
Yeah, but the fact is, I didn't know about the meeting beforehand.
Even Limp, who's Limp?
Limp Biscuit.
Even Limp didn't know about it in advance.
The meeting was scheduled quickly that morning.
There's no connection between it and our decision on presidential endorsements.
And any suggestion otherwise is false.
Anyway.
Speaking of stupid shit like that, I'd be remiss if I didn't share this.
Dollar predictions.
I don't give a flying fuck about the dollar, except the ones I got my freaking bank account, am I right?
Yeah, all ten of them.
Janet Yellen, the, what is she currently the fucking treasury?
Secretary of the Treasury?
She was asked this great question.
Let's play it.
It's too good.
It's 12 seconds.
Folks, she's standing there.
she looks like the little bird that she is.
You're a sweet little bird lady.
And here's the question.
And over a longer time horizon,
how concerned are you about the potential impact
of the dollar status as the world's reserve currency?
All right, right, right, cut it.
So for the audio listener,
the bad, what would you call that?
The emblem, the badge?
Yeah.
fucking falls off the podium.
Signage.
Right.
The signage of the Department of the Treasury.
If that ain't some kind of omen,
then I don't know what is.
Because that's too funny.
Are you worried about the status of the dollar?
Are you concerned at all?
Yeah.
And then she goes,
and that makes you concerned.
It makes me concerned.
Wait till Elon gets his hands on that, though.
Yeah.
He'll have that thing automated in a weekend.
as long as no illegal immigrants come and stop him by by by murder or or something which also that it's it's not even worth talking about because I feel like enough hasn't come out yet but the whole uh kind of love the Elon Putin stuff oh yeah yeah that one just kind of got buried I don't even know it did get buried yes it's very weird he's because everything's happening so much that's the thing Putin is fully asking him for favors like not deploying Starlink over Taiwan uh
Yeah, I'm very curious what's going to happen with this,
especially if he's going to be working.
I mean, he's already got an insane security clearance.
He shouldn't be chatting up Putin anyway.
Also this week, we got big earnings just today.
Google's up.
AMD's down.
Reddit is up.
Keith Gill, the Roaring Kitty himself,
has already sold his steak in Chewy.
So that's interesting.
We'll see what happens there.
What?
What does he know?
Probably nothing.
If I were, and it really pisses me off, if I were GameStop, if I were that whole board, I don't know why in God's fucking name, they aren't doing the micro strategy, the Michael strategy, and just saying, hey, we're going to use all of our excess cash and buy Bitcoin. I've said it here before. I'll say it again. They ought to do that. If they did it, that's how they would get $200 a share, just like all the fucking Perma Bold GameStop dorks want.
Doesn't that seem kind of crazy?
It's worked for Michael's strategy.
Don't yell at me.
It's worked for Michael strategy.
I asked you a question.
Respond nicely.
Game cops.
Game cops.
Buy Bitcoin.
Buy Bitcoin.
I guarantee it would absolutely light that thing on fire.
And yeah, do it.
I don't know what they're waiting for.
Yeah, do it.
Light that thing.
Do it.
It's just,
we got to play the amulet thing for Russell Brand.
Why not?
Yeah,
let's just play that real fast.
That's a nice little.
I like his pivot.
Everyone's making fun of them.
Oh, you guys, you've got to get one of these amulets.
I think he's looking out for people.
Where is he?
Why is he starting out in the bushes?
It makes sense.
It's narratively there.
Let's play it.
Hello, I'm just back from Narnia, where I had a holiday, Mr. Tumnus, Aslan, all those guys.
And as you know, airports are places for Wi-Fi and all sorts of evil energies.
Think all the phones out there, all of the signals, corruptible and corrupting.
Luckily, I wear this magical amulet from AyrsTech that keeps me safe from all of the various signals out there.
It also means, look at this. Look how strong I am.
I think this is making people more powerful, as a matter of fact.
Look at that.
This stuff is absolutely packed of Airstech.
I didn't even bring any socks or toothbrush or dog meats or anything like that.
What?
Just completely full of Airstech.
You should get one as well, particularly if you're planning to go to an airport anytime to sue.
Wait, what the bloody thing?
Does that have to do with toothpiece or dog meat?
He's saying he doesn't need it.
He's a glorious amulet
is protecting his teeth.
Jesus Christ.
Is this a joke?
He says he's back from Narnia.
That's a joke.
He's saying a little funny ad.
Yeah.
It's $240?
Jesus Christ.
They're real.
We can get one.
Well, they remind me of those stupid fucking,
there was a moment
10, 12 years ago.
You remember the magnet bracelets and necklaces?
Yeah, pitchers would wear them.
Yeah, I remember.
They sometimes braided two of them together.
Oops.
You asked me if I remember and I said, yeah, the pitchers would remember.
And you looked at me and he said, yeah, I remember.
You know, I do worry sometimes.
I do worry constantly.
I do worry to get you that amulet for your birthday.
I got to get that amulet, protect me from all the Wi-Fi.
Oh, you want to hear something?
No, no. I said no.
I just keep getting suckered, man.
I got suckered by the Verizon guys.
I got I got knocked at my door and got knocked on I got I got two guys in their 20s going
Oh hello sir we're from Verizon and we just wanted to let you know that we
It recently installed a 5G node in your neighborhood and we're going to be selling where we're making we're seeing if you're satisfied with your current Wi-Fi and I was like yeah
I got like a gig of Wi-Fi it's not bad and he's like okay so sir what we're going to be offering is 5G and it's going to be 400
megabits so I'm like so it's slower
yeah but it's like your own node so it's going to be a little bit
better than what you got and I fully gave I did it
I just I didn't want to say I did it all right but then they said
you got 30 days to cancel and then I fucking this morning I
immediately canceled because it was worse uh no because I just was like fuck
this I'm not doing this whole free trial bullshit because
Verizon you're so full of shit they sent me literally 10 emails
here's your receipt here's your fucking order
here's your rules
and you just get your fucking act together.
I like when you turn into an old man
who just doesn't have anyone to talk to
and you're like,
okay,
so these boys come over to my house
and they're trying to sell me new Wi-Fi.
And I said yes.
And you know what?
I said yes.
They talked me into it.
And you know,
they called me this,
not those two boys,
but I got a 1-800 number
and I'm going to answer it,
you know?
Dad, I have to go.
I just pulled up.
I have to go.
And the guy said,
hey, this is John.
It'll only take a second.
Hang on, hang on.
Okay, what is it?
Hang on.
He said, I'm just calling to see how you would rate the performance of the two salesmen who came.
And I said, they did a great job.
They were very friendly.
They were very good.
But unfortunately, I've decided to stick with my spectrum internet because it's better than what you guys are offering.
But I did want to say that those sales boys were very nice and very well informed.
And the guy said, well, thank you very much for that feedback.
Okay, okay.
Okay, okay.
Okay, he hung up.
Jesus Christ
You know, you're going to be sorry when I'm dead
One of these days. No, I won't.
You're going to wish you didn't do that.
You know what?
What?
Then I actually will have sex to celebrate.
When I die?
When I, your figurative dad?
Okay.
Let's just end on a positive note, huh?
Okay.
Okay.
Here's a guy who, here's a guy with a great, great brain.
Let's watch this.
It's Elon Musk.
Yeah.
USA.
USA.
USA.
Wait, here comes.
USA.
God, he's such a fucking,
he's the kid that nobody liked in middle school.
Who's like...
The best thing I saw was I don't want to steal this.
That's what sound he makes when he nuts.
But someone tweeted the kid who was always going super sane at lunch.
I just love that he doesn't even know how to do a USA chant.
It's USA.
And he's not only does he get the cadence wrong, but he goes like...
The emphasis is all...
USA.
USA.
USA.
And then, yeah, Tony Hinchcliff had his stupid shit.
You know, they say that Puerto Ricans are...
Ladies and gentlemen, Casey Rocket.
they should have Casey Rocket come out
a lot going on
like I don't know if you guys know this
but there's literally a floating island
of garbage in the middle of the ocean right now
yeah I think it's called Puerto Rico
okay
all right
okay we're getting there
again normally I don't follow the national anthem
the national anthem everybody
I just
Tony Dick Cliff
the
that guy's a penis
The article's coming out that he was trying out the material at places and it was bombing and he would just go, this is going to kill at the event.
That's so funny.
It's so good.
I really liked what Anthony Jezzelnick's perspective was just on these comedians.
Let's play that real fast.
That's been circuited for a while.
I'm Anthony Jezzelnick.
It's pretty good.
And all these comics now, it's like almost the point is to get in trouble.
It's like, why are you giving me shit?
I'm a comic, I'm allowed to say whatever I want.
That's wrong, as far as I'm concerned.
Art.
Oh, wait, say it again, so I don't listen.
People think, like, oh, as a comic, your job is to get in trouble.
And so, but they don't want to get yelled at.
It's like, it's okay to make people mad, but they don't want any push back.
And I think that's wrong.
As a comedian, you want to make people laugh.
Andy, this is a quote attributed to Andy Warhol that I love.
It's just art is getting away with it.
You know, if you put out a special and everyone's pissed, like, you didn't get away
with it. You know, you need to make
everyone laugh that they're like, yeah, do you talk about this one's
fucked up stuff, but we're all happy.
That's art.
Otherwise, you're just a troll. Well said.
Well said, Anthony Jezzelnick.
You know, my grand, I can't
do it right now. I can't do my
jizzling. Hey, that's all right.
Let's pull up that last great Trump tweet
right there, because I really liked this.
Whoever's working his social media really nailed it.
They're doing a good job, unfortunately. He tweeted
when I'm president, the McDonald's ice cream
machines will work great again.
it's him waving.
Look how happy Biden is.
He's waving.
And that is a generous vanilla cone that he's got him.
And Biden, I mean, this is how we unite the country.
This right here.
Like, I'll give Joe Biden a nice big ice cream cone.
He loves ice cream.
And before we wrap up, actually, well, let's do the comment of the week, shall we?
This one comes from Philippa on Ben and Emile Show.com.
New member.
Welcome.
Wow, that's huge.
Remember, already coming hot out of the gate, getting on the...
Play your cards, right, you'll get that monkey emoji in no time.
Well, in eight months, actually.
Philippa says, yeah, that's right.
Seven months.
Emil is your yaya, is who...
Emil is who your yaya wants to...
I'm gonna start again.
Amel is who your y'a wants you to bring home.
Ben is who you actually bring home, and she regrets living in the old country.
That's very funny.
Yeah, yeah.
No, I'm not insulted.
I'm not insulted at all.
I don't think that that's upsetting.
This one's my real favorite. I like to listen to this podcast to forget my problems, which are currently that I live with a 70-year-old French Scientologist who is demanding a payer of 50 euros. Would love to know more, Flarendes. Yeah, we need way more information than that. 50 euros doesn't seem like that much. If we're talking about rent, why is the 50, why is she asking for 50 euros? And where do you live? Do you live in France? I didn't know that there were French Scientologists, et cetera. So,
So anyway, we'll see you in the bonus.
Remember to bed of the meal show.com.
That's not dot better.org.
Or not go.
Okay.
We're going.
We'll see you there, folks.
Thank you very much.
See you on Smith.