The Ben and Emil Show - MBS 9: A Very Special Christmas Episode

Episode Date: December 24, 2024

Okay gang this week we're talking about Ben's favorite Chinese TikTok woman, fisting, plus a whole bunch of other crazy shit. Merry Christmas to all!!! This week's bonus is a real treat. You've just gotta go see it. Sign up at: https://www.benandemilshow.com See our latest episode here: https://youtu.be/pg3P-Z5PkJQ Watch Ben's Taco Bell Taste Test here: https://youtu.be/5wsoc5pieuA This episode was shot and edited by Connor Rousseau / @ conrad_roussrad Follow us on instagram. @ bencahn and @ emilderosa and @ conrad_roussrad and @ philorphilip Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

That's your good. You feel good about that one? Yeah, I feel good. I'm drunk, everybody. Happy holiday. Wow. Okay. I have not spoken in hours.

This one's got the Christmas frog inside of their... Christmas toad. This one comes, and that's why my throat is covered in... With some of that monk juice. Yeah, it got a little monk juice in there. Happy holidays to all who celebrate, if you don't celebrate. Man, I saw a California Super Lotto commercial the other day where the couple gives each other a hug.

Which couple? The couple in the commercial. I inferred that. The woman says, happy holidays, honey. And he says, happy holidays to you. I'm like, that ain't real. Like, no couple says happy holidays to each other. It's, it's freaking BS if you ask me.

What did you celebrate? Do you? I don't celebrate anything, man. Do you really not celebrate anything? Yeah, every year on Christmas, I just kind of go. Did your family grow up celebrating Hanukkah? Oh, you want to hear something messed up? My family grew up celebrating Hanukkah, yes.

We also grew up celebrating Christmas. Yeah, that's fine. But I know a lot of people do that. But then when my older half-brother and half-sister on my mom's side, moved out, we no longer had Christmas. Why? When I was like six years old, grew up with Christmas, and then six years old, no more Christmas. Do you think that's why you're like this? Probably.

Yeah. Yeah. They just took it away. I know. That's seven years old. I remember being. I would freak out. That was probably like Super Nintendo season.

That's crazy. We did get Super Nintendo. I think that might have been the last Christmas. My grandma got us to Super Nintendo. I never had an N64. That's a huge Christmas. Dude, the jump from Super Nintendo to N-Six-It was going into the future. Mario was moving in space.

Like, I moved in space. One of the biggest Christmases. Although Super Mario World. Glad we went through it together. Super Mario World for Super Nintendo? I still think is... I don't really know what it is... See, now you're nerdy.

Yeah, because you never had N-64. You never had the N-64. You never played Super Mario World for Super Nintendo? Does he go in 3D space? Do they always use that track? With the map where you go, what did you say? Does it go in 3D space? I mean, sort of.

And not 64 bits. Feels flat to me. I'm just jealous because I never got an N64. But I did play 007 at my friend. Oh, no. At our neighbor, the Kaplan's house and the older brother Brian Kaplan. He would get so mad. He was a hockey player and he would get mad and like hit his brother, his younger brother.

And you would hear his mom, Nancy, from downstairs. She was like a New York Jew lady. I like how he dockses everyone he talks about. I mean, what are you going to do, everybody? What are you going to do? Don't do anything. I mean, the hockey player who beats the shit of his brother? I'm not...

He's a doctor now. He's a full-on doctor. I bet he's a... Yeah. What? What's the doctor I'm thinking of? Because, yeah, I think he is. No, I wasn't thinking bald.

Kind of doctor. Yeah. I think he might be like an ER doctor. I don't know. Oh, I was thinking... He would be a doctor of love. I was thinking orthopedic. But I would always feel bad because when I'd go over there,

They wouldn't let me play. And I didn't care. I was like, you know, I don't need to play. And their mom would yell upstairs like, let, let Ben play. And I remember, they're just being like, God. I was like, you don't have to, you know, okay. Wait, they would invite you over their house. No, it wasn't.

We were allowed to play. We were over there for like the holidays. Oh. And then I would play. That's fucked up. You should just made them let you play. I would sometimes beat Brian at Super Mario. cart or Mario cart 64 and he would just rage he would just rage

where's my brother i'd be so scared uh yeah they're all good now you related to these people no no they just lived around the corner from us ah yeah yeah it's just is it true jews go to uh chinese restaurants a lot of the time on christmas yeah but now that secrets out it used to be just like a from my from my understanding because my family never did that we would just maybe go to the movies and just my mom would cook at home. But from my understanding, it's now the secret's out. Now everybody goes to Chinese restaurant. I know. It's like you can't do that, man. Why? Because it's our time. It's us and the Chinese. You guys sort of work together, planning stuff. Finance is weather. Chinese. God, I wish we could do Chinese voices. Certain people

can. Certain people can get away with it. And those people? Chinese. Once I'm a millionaire, though, once I get up there and become truly untouchable and truly Chinese you're gonna let a rip I'm just gonna let it rip man just doing a pod with you and it's like he's got a certain amount of money that he's got a lot of money this side of the table is gonna let stuff rip but for me I need jobs still it's like that meme with the black guy like looking over the balcony I bring a certain kind of Chinese accent to the podcast that people really vibe I like I have one that says I bring a certain gun to the airport it was my first message to the slack within uh

did you see that tweet that just it was the lady was she she put a gun in her suitcase and she was like oh wow i don't know wait no i didn't then they looked at her google and it was like it was like can you bring your gun to the suit can you put a gun in your suitcase and then it was like she said a reminder in her phone bring bring gun to the airport or something like that what wait so you can you can bring a gun on a plane it just has to be It's like a locked box situation. I think there's like multiple keys and shit like that you got to do. You got to have multiple keys for your guns.

Jesus Christ. Are you got, when are you, are you going to East Coast? I'm staying here. Wow. But I thought you were. Is it your first time staying here for Christmas? Oh, for Christmas. In Los Angeles?

I think so. Wow. Are you going to go to Chinese? You better fucking that. We might, yeah. This is interesting. Unbelievable. Are you going to go to Chinese?

No, I'm going to be with my white family doing white stuff. Come on now. Okay, so now what are you? I'm having bad food that bad people made. You know what I never understood about Christmas is the 12 days of it? What is that? That's a great question, Ben. I don't get it.

Other than the song, I don't really know much about it. It's a lot of art trees and parishes. The first day of Christmas you're talking about. Yeah, that your true love gave to me. With all the birds and shit. Yeah. And you're so. wealthy like you get a you got a fucking pear tree with a with a partridge in it yeah yeah yeah

five maids milk or five golden rings calling birds french hens then you turtle doves usually i think you got christ i usually think i think i think you're talking crazy but you're making sense here thank you maids milking that part i do milk seven maids a milk seven made's a milk six if it were my if it were my true love i'd be giving her just maids milking you'd seven of them eight of them 10? My favorite day of Christmas is the maids milking, of course. Yeah. Me, just ringing a bell. It's the maids milky.

Oh, man. Delicious. I've never eaten a pear, so I guess I would... You've never eaten a pair. That cannot be true. I've never eaten... I've never held a pear in my hand. How is that possible? And eaten one.

I have eaten sliced pear. I've eaten a pear. Yes, but I haven't eaten a pair. I had a solid pair phase. I like pairs a lot. My whole life has been a pear phase. a nice strong pear bite like when it's good

but then you're fucking now and then you get a sandy pear and that's not good wait what like a groat like an old like a meat league yeah yeah yeah that just happens

from time to time I'm not gonna I'm not gonna it's a gamble you wrong yeah you know what really is sometimes you get a bad fruit right

I hate to sound you gotta eat them that's right I hate to sound like my mom but but Benjamin I think we talked oh you are you

Hi. Oh, were you high? Yeah, Mom. Pretty much if you have to ask that, yes. No. Think about all the people who ask us, are you guys on acid right now? Oh, yeah.

It's extremely fucked up to think that we only have, like, I don't know, maybe 40. 35 years left on the scene? 35, 40 more years of Stone Fruit season. Or Thanksgiving. Good. What do you mean of Thanksgiving? Because you only have, like, 30 more. He's saying we're...

Oh, like, are there? The end of the world is going to come. Well, no, the end of your life. The end of our world. In your life. Oh, right. We're going to die soon. Yeah.

Because we're old. No, we will be 70. I'll look like Iggy Pop. Do you think so? It's a little hot. I'm going to surround myself with maids of milking. Just suck on that maid milk. Oh, man.

Oh, Iggy Pop looks like shit now. It's kind of freaky. Yeah, he looks like a hunchback. Did you see the 70-year-old man who has looked good? Did you see the-old? Did you see the video of it? Yeah, it's extremely fucked up. By the way, stay tuned.

I got some Chinese stuff to show you guys. He's got a little... Oh, my God. He's got a little starving Marvin belly, and it's kind of... I feel bad because... But a couple of safety pins on his back. Where does his neck go? I got Homer Simpson.

Where did his neck go? Look at him holding his titty. Look at that one on the bottom right with his shirt off. I mean, he looks unreal there. Yeah. You never seen that photo? Oh, dude. He looked good for most of his life.

2001. So they took it in 23 years ago. Which he was still old, was he, yeah, it was probably fucking, um, 70s now 50, 50 something. I want to see Jeremy Irons play him in a movie. God, I love Jeremy. Jeremy Irons. He's probably older than fucking Iggy Pop. Did I say Jeremy Irons? Who are you talking about? I don't know, man. Oh, are you talking about the guy from Succession? No, that's Jeremy Irons. He kind of looks like he'd be Iggy Pop's acting. He looks like he'd be his brother. I love Jeremy Irons. Did you the top of the pops for Jeremy

irons. I can't really place him aside from Watchman. So many things. Watchman, you've got him as interesting. I mean, he's most recent He was in The Lion King. Die Hard. I get him in Famously Well, he's Scar. But I get him a diehard

with a vengeance, which is the best diehard movie. It is so good. Is that the second one or the second one? It is the second one. Yeah. Just the airport? No, no. Sorry, third one. It must be the third one. Ben, you like this guy? Oh, Jesus God. Yeah. He's bent his head. Yeah, what happened?

Why does he look like a little guy? Because you start shrinking. He's fucking so old. Yeah, but like, no. He's got something up. Yeah, he's got some sort of old man in change. Hey, he's got someone to the same thing like that. Hey, we're going to get it.

Whoa, dude. It looks like he's fully bent. He's carrying snacks in that. He's carrying snacks in that tummy of his. I would, uh. He does look like he's got a fan. Yeah, he's carrying some snag. Wait, pull up my tweet while we're talking about the future not coming. I would just wear a shirt. Your hair looks so good.

Thank you. Like, uh, Jesus Christ. Thank you. I appreciate that. Yours looks good. What is it? What does it look different? I don't know. It just looks luscious. Wow. Yeah. I mean, it's getting quite long. Give me one now. Give me a compliment. Give me a compliment. It could be about my personality. It could be about anything. The eyes are popping. Are you high? No, I wish. Ben did hit me with a you look tired as soon as he saw me you do you don't anymore

I really didn't clock that at all thank you he was behind me pulling in we had a solid bit going and even in our cars we were on the alpha after the races Ben does have that that childlike thing where he sees something and he says yes exactly you had the arm what's matter with his arm

yes exactly and it's even you know when a child does it to you go you know I know you're just a child but I'm a bit self- God. Oh, I got one. I got one. We had this. My dad had this friend. He was like our landscaper. His name was Tony Covea, and he was a big

Polynesian guy. Huge. And he had like seven kids. And my dad would be like, hey, bring over the kids so you guys can swim in the pool. And they would come over but one of his sons had a fucked up foot. It was like elephant man foot. And it scared

me and my brother so much that when they came over, we just all went in my room. We just stayed in the room. They didn't care. They were just down there swimming like, hell yeah. We get to swim in paradise. Oh, wow. This poo is so good.

I have so much room for my big foot. Tony wouldn't even knock. He would just open the door and come in. Well, his son would kick it open when he's trying to do it. Like a bad guy entering a saloon. He would always go, hey, we got to get you either in Polynesian food, man. I remember speaking of a Christmas, I remember going to my family friends Christmas and they had a accidental chance.

child, you know, so it was much younger than everybody else. Yeah. And oopsie, maybe. And I was, I was talking at the table, and then she just went, your nose is too big for your face. And they went, oh,

all right. And like, but they were like, continue. And I was like, I can't. I'm wrecked. Yeah. Yeah. She destroyed me. Jesus Christ. I had a kid recently, I was in a pool and he goes, why do you talk like that.

And then that really makes you think, too. It's like, what are you talking about? Yeah, like, what do you mean? The tone of my voice. What do you mean? All right. What was your tweet? How do I talk?

Truly, yeah. Because I was fun with kids, like running the pool games and stuff. Why do you talk like that? Hey, why do you talk like that? What's up, you fucking freak? We need to start taking that back. You know, if you're ever like having a, you know, you feel self-conscious or whatever, do it to someone at a party.

Hey, why are you talking like that, man? True. That would feel really nice. Oh, you know what's a good one we would always do? Hey, Ben, do that gay voice you always do? That's the one. Hey, speaking of gay voice. Get off my nuts!

What's with this silicone bag of nuts? I knew you would. Is this yours? This is, yeah. Phil brought a silicone bag of nuts. It's a reusable. I like it. I really like it.

You stick sandwiches in there? I like it. You could put anything you want in there. It's a little bit. It's really rewarding to open and close, isn't it? Because I've been seeking the right... Can you tell my wife is Asian? Yes.

I've been looking for... And also healthy nuts. Yeah, yeah. You know, like, no salt. I've been looking for the right... Oh, dog, you've got to get on that. Well, they have these nice sandwich wraps now that are, you know, because you used to use...

It used to use just tinfoil. Wow. Okay, breaking Juan Soto to the Mets, 675,000, 15 years. It's so funny when athletes sign these long contracts. Oh, you're going to be playing for the Yankees in 2031. Buddy, the fog is going to consume us in 2027. The fog is coming. The fog is coming. That's funny.

Will Senate is top of the pops funny. Who is that guy? He's kind of the king of Twitter. He's like a king of Twitter. Oh, oh, oh, I know who he is. He's that guy. He's very famous for the Timothy Chalemi striking him out thing. So good.

We saw him, maybe we didn't. But I saw him do stand up at a... Yeah, he does good videos and shit, too. kind of a, maybe Southern dude or something like that. Into us thing. Shouts. Which is,

which he did, he did, I think he admitted that Shalameh maybe he's got more ball than he let on because did you see the, he's gotten more bald than he let on?

No, like bald knowledge or ball, oh, oh, oh, oh, because the football thing? Yes, exactly. Who cares? I didn't see the football.

What do you mean, who cares? Who cares it, Timothy Shalamee knows about ball? Well, because it's famously fay. Oh, oh, oh, oh. He's pop-ish. Oh, a dandy fop?

But he's proving everyone that there's more, there's more to Shalamay. Oh, yeah, there's more to Timothy than just the Shalame. That didn't surprise you at all? I guess a little bit. I just, nothing surprises me these days, except for those drones in New Jersey. That is truly the only thing that surprises. I keep trying to, I keep trying to talk about, I keep trying, and we're not going to, because we're going to say that.

We're not going to talk about the New Jersey. We're not talking about the drone to New Jersey. We're not talking about Juan Soto. We're not talking about the Italian shooter that was just caught. Who was one so? We're moving on. Who was, was he already on the Mets? No, he's on the Yankees.

Okay. All right, it's time to talk Chinese. Go ahead and pull up those links because it's just about that time. You guys are going to absolutely love it. We're going to hear them out. We're going to hear him out. Not that one. That one's, we're going to do laugh.

Is there more to the joke than them just talking Chinese? No. I mean, yes. It's because she's so lovable. So you just want to. Her name is Miss Aluminum and they're also doing great things, like really truly. great. So this is the first one. And viewers out there, I just want you to know me and

Emil fought tooth and nail. To not watch it. No, it's good. This is Miss Aluminum. And if it's, if the joke is just that it's Chinese I'm going to set it up here. This is Miss Aluminum. She's located in Guangdong province in China. She is in the business of

she is in the business of selling modular homes in China. They're made out of aluminum. And this is her. Let's go on. party to out of the world a waller go on nice stills, drag a car, entaili, and down lock.

Like, racing, is will done. Bigger, buy the room. Triple Cleistta windows. This is my, not trying to be racist, smile. It's like, skylight. Big a big, balcony. I'm being respected. I see.

Joy and amite, stop racing, buzz room. Beauty, Meiro, Basin, Sourer, Twilight. All right, next one. I didn't see that. supposed to get out of that. This is the one that I first saw where they put this fucking

great filter on her face and it's too good. Sound needs the... Yeah, there you go. as you will now see. Okay, we're seeing the shaping of... She says, cut, cut me, because she can't say contact. It's like unalive him.

What? Instead of kill. Oh, yeah, how they can't say certain words. But it's just, yeah, let's, let's play this. Hello, boss. Hi, Mrs. Aluminum. I heard that space caps house is really amazing. Is this house strong and durable?

Oh, for cause. This is made gold knife steel, strong, and made of Al-Mu-Lammer Oval Couse In this bedroom Is it a word of Is it supposed to laugh

That in the Chinese It's sweet Inher house Well in this living room It's the projector AC included Oval Couse In this kitchen

Is the fridge Stuff Also sink included Oval Couse In this dry web Separish bathroom Is the beauty mirror Basin

Smart toilet Also shower hat Included Okay stop And then she says cuts, cut to me. But this last one is really the... Here we go. Bring it home. This one is the crowning achievement.

One minute. Love it. This is the crowning achievement of this. So here, I'm just going to preface this with why I like this. Because it sounds funny to you. This is a, this is showing that we are all fundamentally the same. Mm-hmm. Because these people have a sense of humor that transcends language barriers. and it...

Or it's funny because of the language barriers. No, no. It's, they know what they're doing and it's just, it's, it's awesome. It's great. So let's see this one. I feel like I'm missing it. You'll see. Well, they're just exploiting TikTok and doing fun sketches to promote their business,

which is these modular homes. They do legitimately now, I'm like, damn, that's a really cool looking home. The American boom is the Chinese cut cut in a way. Is that what you're saying? What? That we can all, you know, like the boom guy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. These, you mean the Costco guys?

I hope that these become as ubiquitous as the Costco guys. Cut-cut is sort of their boom. Well, she's Miss Illuminum, remember that. She's not Cut-Cut. She just says cut-cut, but she's Misses a boom-in-oh. She's Mrs. Aluminum. All right, let's see this one.

Yeah, I miss you too. I'm just scaring myself. Where the fuck is my house? This is. Alumnan is not home. I saw their house. Badge. No!

Alumn love me, not you. Great! Audacity! He's aluner. You are bad. You are good. Get a lost her. No.

Another house for you. Wow. This is like a... It's like a halo weapon these houses. It does look very hello-coded. That's what the feature is. Oh, man. I mean, these really are in little capsules.

Yeah. Interesting song that they took. That one, I like that one. That one had some. One last one. So now there's another company that's trying to exploit the same thing. You would want to leave on top. You close big.

Yeah. This is the graphite girl. Are you looking for graphite tube? Did you buy the graphite tube? Not yet, but I plan on it. Processing factory, specializing in manufacturing. High purity of graphite with a high destiny. If you need...

See, this one I'm missing the joke on. There's no joke. It's just... There's American companies that do the same thing. Yeah, exactly. Where it's just like, it's a highly specialized thing that obviously nobody. who's consuming TikTok

is going to be like, oh, yeah, graphite. Except for that modular house. I love that where he goes, where the fuck is my house? And then the lady comes out and says, shut up, bitch. She also says audacity. Yeah, audacity. Which is a beautifully placed word. Yeah, I just, I love her so much.

Okay, you want us over and then you lost us again. But in the end, yeah, there was kind of an arc that formed and then I was crashing down for some reason. Wow. Oh, hey, oh, that's your water jugger. That's my water bottle. He's got two drinkering it with your foot. So yesterday, as I was going to tell you guys, I went to...

Oh, Ben has a riveting story. I just, I'm still feeling it. I went to, uh, I went to a fried chicken sandwich place. Rather, I had it delivered. And I ate, uh, it was Howland Rays. Classic. Great. Holy shit.

I ate one of their chicken sandwiches and I took a nap that transported me to another place. It was like a K-hole nap. I set a timer for an hour. I fell asleep on the couch. What time of day were talking? 3 p.m. Dangerous. So I woke up an hour later

and I just couldn't remember what day it was. I knew I had to wake up for something. Couldn't remember what I was doing. So I just said, I'm going back to bed,

and I set 20 more minutes on the thing. And then that went off and I went, I'm going back to bad. And I just stayed there. And holy fuck, I'm still feeling it.

I am so. get to sleep eventually? Oh yeah, that night I was able to sleep but then, yeah, I woke up to these guys doing construction on my damn roof.

Ugh. And yeah, here I am. Also, I had a meet cute with a woman yesterday. Okay, now my ears are perked up. I, after the nap, I woke up and I walked up. Unfortunately.

In the neighborhood. Unfortunately, to which part that I woke up. Yeah, very good. And... Damn, just you and me taking over? Ah, fuck.

I see... Christmas night. Don't stop. I see this really cute girl walking her dog and she's smoking a joint. I'm like, oh, wow, she's naughty. She's naughty. She's cool. But she was like really well dressed.

I'm like, whoa, she's got a career and she smokes weed. You can do both. Yeah, but it was a Sunday. So I guess, uh, anyway, she's walking her dog. What was she wearing? That was so well dressed. A very nice dress and like heels and a coat. Maybe she was going to a party or something.

That's what I kind of figured. Yeah. But to smoke a joint. On a Sunday night, this girl's wild. Afternoon. Early evening. It was like 5 p.m. at that point.

Pre did it. It's the holiday season. All you do is go to parties. She's too far. There's all the problems or sweaty even thinking about that. She's too far away. She's walking one way

and we're perpendicular to each other. I'm not going to follow her. So I'm like, I'm like, whatever. She's gone forever. Doug takes a big fat dump and I don't have a bag. Doug is Bobby for those.

Dog is not Bobby, but he is Bobby to you, which is fine. But so I go home, I get a bag. I come back. I pick up the poop. I'm like,

I'll see if she's still in that direction. So I walk with the poop. You shouldn't chase people on the street like that. I wasn't chasing. I was continuing to walk Douglas. And then there she is. And I'm like, oh, fuck. Oh, shit.

I wish I didn't have this bag of poop in my hand. I always think that. I always carry a bag of shit just for these purposes. Yeah. I don't even have a dog near me. Nothing. She, uh... So I can make a joke like, oh, you're so pretty.

I wish I didn't have this bag of shit. Well, I acknowledge... I'm actually really sick and I needed to get tested. Something's wrong with me. Something really bad is wrong with me. Can you help me? Oops, it's dripping. Oh, no.

She, our dogs start sniffing each other. What kind of dogs? Oh, she had a dog. Yeah, she had a dog. What kind of dog she had? She had a little, I don't even know. Real size discrepancy. A little black thing.

I don't know what kind of dog. Had a few of those. It was pretty. It looked like a poodle mix. A little poodle mix. What did you say? I said, now I'm bad. Oh.

It looked like a little poodle mix. Yeah. And then she very quickly said, her name. She was like, I'm by the way. That's a weird name. It wasn't bleak. It was something else. I'm not going to docks her. But every single childhood friend.

Can you? Okay, okay. I'll tell you what she said. Can you tell us what her name was? Yeah, I'll tell you guys what her name was. Um, fuck, I'm scrambling to think of my favorite celebrity crush. No, no, come on. Tell us the real one. I'm not going to tell you a real name. Your name was Yeah, what if we bleep it out? Why? Because people are going to people are going to, um...

Write it on your phone and show it to us. Yeah. No, because then you're going to say it out of love. I was going to say it so quickly. I'll say it. I'll say it after the show. But it also doesn't matter. But just for the story's sake. Okay.

Okay. That honestly... That wasn't her name. See, I need it because it... Wait, we have... It gives a picture. When you said, I was like, I could share. She's brunette 5 foot 8.

I can't see anything. I need a name. Red lip. And she goes... She goes, I'm... By the way. And I was like, oh... Did you say red lip?

Yeah, she was wearing a red foot. lip, you know, lipstick. Oh, okay. Fucking. What'd you go? And then, yeah, where it's, I was commenting about the size of her dog. She was commenting about the size of mine. Wait, wait.

I said something about like, yeah, it's great until you have to pick up his shit. And I dangled the bag of poop. Nice, nice. He used it to his advantage. Wait, so you were walking towards her. Yes. And she just said her name? She was stopped.

No, she was stopped. And our dogs then started sniffing each other. And she said, and she said, this is, this is her dog's name. This is me or whatever. That wasn't the dog's name. I'm not going to docks the dog either. And I said, oh, this is Doug. And she goes, oh, sweet.

And she's petting him. And she looks up at me. And she goes, I'm, by the way. And I went, oh, I'm Ben. And I was, in my head, I'm like, oh, fuck. I wish I didn't just wake up from a nap. I hadn't just jerked off. But that chicken sandwich did give me just jerked off kind of.

Plus, not clarity. Dude. But you still like that clarity, exhaustion. Yeah. I was just like, could not hold a conversation. I mean, for crying out loud, I referenced the bag of poop. Okay, so she said, this is my... I'm...

And I said, I'm Ben, and we're talking a little bit, and then I said, so do you guys live in the neighborhood? And she said, yeah, I live over just on a... You never give a guy... Very close. Address. Very close by. And I said, oh, I'm just up on blah, blah, blah. And she goes, oh, cool.

And I should have asked for a phone number. I could have. I could have. And I just didn't. Why? Because I had a bag of poop in my head. So stupid. I couldn't. I didn't want to transfer. I just, I wasn't

feeling it fully. And I just thought, you know what? She lives down the block. I've run into her once. I'll run into her again. Now whenever I walk my dog, I will walk him in that direction. After we record, I'm going to go walk him. I'm checking my watch. I'm going to walk him and I bet

if I see her again, that means that she was walking in that same direction in hopes of seeing me again. And I'll go, hey, I meant to get you burn me, bitch. I think you played it pretty good. I think you're pretty rizzed up right now. Yeah, thank you. And you used the poopie

to your advantage. I did this with the poop bag. I took the poop bag. Isn't it this? No, he goes... What's this? That's his brother who lost his eye. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What? Rizzler's got a brother who lost his eye? Yeah. No, okay, you're saying no. You're saying yes. Don't take advantage of me. You guys know... With Henry Winkler.

That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Everybody takes advantage of the guy who believes everything. You should... I believe everything. What? I had Thanksgiving with my sweet boy. And...

I don't know if it's allowed. Fair, fair, fair, fair. Why? Why? Is it naughty? No, I was going to obfuscate in some ways, but... I think it's... I think it's fine.

What? You lead the way. If you're comfortable talking about... We don't have to talk about it. We got this little part out. What? What? I'm dying. There was a funny moment that happened. It was a funny moment at Thanksgiving.

Uh-huh. And because these are friends of friends and I don't want to ask anybody. Whatever. We had Thanksgiving at my house. It was a friend of a friend. And we went around the table and, you know, Thanksgiving we all got. We all got set up. There was, we were all together for hours already. Yeah.

And we had all sat down. and we got to a point of let's share some gratefulness you know we're making food it's delicious and it was all very sweet people had new babies they're thankful for their babies I'm thankful for my health and tennis with my friends big world stuff health health wealth all that sort of stuff and then this person Amanda shows up she's pretty late for the party friend of a friend we don't know her friend of a friend we don't know her owl and we're like Amanda you're actually up what are you grateful for and she goes whole room 12 people looking at her

someone just talked about how they're thankful for their newborn baby yeah talking about and she goes well I matched with this guy on field a while ago great start gay guy that I peg pretty often and I immediately lock eyes with Phil immediately being a meal just like truly like the gym in the office like oh god dude and so this gay guy that I pegged sometimes

actually texted me this morning and I'll just read it to you guys if that's okay and it's this clearly on ecstasy coked up dude that's like I just want you to know I'm grateful for everything we've experienced with one another he's in Medell in Columbia right now all very generic could have been

I think was maybe copy and paste it to a bunch of people and then she's like and like how beautiful is that That's like, this guy that I peg every so often, like, thought of me. Jesus Christ. Yeah. So that really kind of threw us. Well, okay.

We, I think we were the most upset. Like, I was very, I was upset by that. I don't like that. I think, like, whatever, we're all kind of freaks in our own way, but when it comes to a certain amount of normalcy. And when we've all showed the nakedness of earnestness. I don't know it was all very pick-me and very like

main character energy sort of shit how old was she too old for that I'll tell you that much brother I'll tell you that much we're trying not to docks I'm keeping it as vague as possible

but it really was one of the It just was not the vibe and it was like a wild movie moment I ever met this girl no no okay it was like and I do think

if you flip the gender if a guy showed up yes dude and did that it would I think so every now and then I use a strap on on this lesbian and she lets me fuck her and she's at her wife's house right now

and she actually texts me that would be insane dude. I know, I was grateful for that. I was grateful to have that memory. I am grateful to have that memory. Yeah. It's kind of core. I have a friend who's a therapist and she told me how one of her old boyfriends liked to be fisted. Holy shit. And she

She's got a small forearm, but she said, yeah, I would be able to get, like, up to my mid forearm. Do you know who the guy is? Nope. They've broken up years. I think I told you about him. That, like, to get fisted, too. I don't understand. Well, why don't you drop trow and we'll show you.

You poop come out, poop come out shaped like a damn forearm. Ben thinks that this guy's rectum is. permanently in the shape of a whoram? I mean, wouldn't it? It's a chocolate tray. Fills up with the poo and sends it out. Fill it up with the Pufu and then the Phaenos fist comes out each time.

Wait, what was that? Where's that from the Pupu? Eat it the Pupu. They eat the Poo. Why are you gay? No, it's not the why are you gay guy. Eat the Poooooo. Yeah, try eat the Pupu.

Eat the Pupu. 14 years ago? Yeah, it's this guy talking about. Oh, Uganda. My name is. pastor, Dr. Martin Semper. I'm here in the capacity as the chairman of the National Task Force

Against Homosexuality in Uganda. Two minutes. We're in a meal's nightmare. The National Task Force Against Homosexuality? Yeah. Well, he basically makes up on Barack Obama. Back off. I've taken time to do a little research

to know what homosexuals doing their privacy of their bedroom. One of the thing they do is, wait. Wait. It feels pretty leaking. Where they, they, a Man's ennis is leaked like this by the other person. So that's where it's from.

Anyway, he's about to say poo-poo. But it's okay. You take the pooh-boo and eat I don't Sir, how do you know that? Beautiful stuff. What's your guys' favorite Christmas memories? There we go. Thank you.

I just want to talk about Christmas stuff. You've probably got some good ones with all your wacky uncles. Honestly, one of the best Christmases going to Paris Was really fun Two years ago Really great

Just being a little Cuisant freak Stomping my ass around Paris Is it as Adorable As film and media It's really a nice place What Paris?

You've never been to Parisville? No, I'm saying around Christmas Oh yeah Snow's Me just said Jolly and Le What is that? That's how they say Merry Christmas.

Joya now. Joya. Oh, joyous Noel? Yeah. Yeah, that's fucked up to me. But they say, you know, you know how they talk. Joya, Noel. My friend Shelby lives in Paris.

She's married to a Frenchman. They have a French child. She's about to get her full-on citizenship going. You know, it was always a nice Christmas. For a long time, Phil moved to Los Angeles a few years before me. Yeah. And there was really good periods of you would come back. for a nice extended stay

during Christmases. And we would have a real... We'd really tear it up. Brooklyn Romp. Just... Those were good. Yeah. You passing out on my couch in Brooklyn.

Just classic pass-out stuff. Just chicken sandwiches. Talk about passing out from a chicken sandwich. Imagine that with tons of alcohol on top of it. A Commodore chicken sandwich? Just not seeing your butt. Yes, of course. I mean, we would just start out with pictures of beer at the Commodore.

Yeah. So stoked your boys. back in town yeah do and jouts to Ian oh yeah big shots to Ian

I remember I remember being out shouts to Vinnie P all of us for and we were I can't remember we were we would just

we would have a little bruiser crew we were joking about it was a like behind the music of something and we he shit

his knickers just good times the Christmas sweet boys is he working at Camador Ian He works at the Commodore.

He doesn't work in the Commodore. He's a sweet boy from grown up that, I don't know. He's known you forever too, feels like. Yeah, we used to go to... Just one of the homies. Good show guy, too. He was always at shows we were at and stuff like that. Kind of a wicked sax player.

Ian, we might have you play on some new tracks if you're down for it. Wow. I'm pretty sure he watches the show. Great. He's kept up to date on the boys. Wow. Because I saw him at Rich's wedding. But so that's always a beauty of...

And Rich is my friend who had a wedding and they came up. in jet skis. Not really a Christmas, but a different sort of thing. I have a Christmas memory. Great. Give it to us. New York. When I lived in New York, Christmas, 2018. The best place for Christmas.

It is. My friend Nathan and I were both alone on Christmas, Christmas Day. And I went to his apartment in the Lower East Side. He had rooftop access. We rolled a spliff. We went to the top of the roof. We got high at like three in the afternoon. Washington.

Washington. And then we went to. What? And saw 9-11. No, thank God. Can you imagine? On Christmas? Sorry, go ahead.

There'd be nobody in the buildings. I know. And then we went to get Chinese food together. And we had only known each other for maybe a year at that point. Ooh, that's a really nice Christmas memory. And we just, yeah, I remember having a good time and eating Chinese food. You've met him. You've stayed at this place.

No, I didn't. There was no sucking. I had a very similar, not similar, but it was around Christmas. It was like, I remember I had the day off. Everyone else wasn't like off yet. And I was like fuck, I don't want to do nothing. And I smoked a joint and I

walked all the way from my place in Brooklyn up to where all the Christmassy stuff is. Rockefeller Center Ice skating rink. I was so high and I ended up in like F.A.O. Schwartz just having the time of my life. By yourself? I heard of a home alone, but you're a grown-up.

Yeah. So you're just allowed to do other things. I got a big cheese pizza for myself. Yeah, went to the ice skating rinks. I remember being at, uh, being at, oh, went to the plaza, was just hanging out. Being at F.A.O. Schwartz and watching, because, you know, they do the demos with the toys. And this guy had this airplane kind of thing you could throw and it would loop and come back to you. And, uh, I was just like sitting there watching kind of amazed. I'm fully engaged. Oh, shit.

And he fought the airplane thing. Yes, dude. And he threw it right at me knowing it would kind of dip right. And I was like, oh, just an absolute blast. And then when everyone got at work, we got to meet up and go get drinks and stuff. Just the taper off the high, too, and a nice ride. Just a real New York rip. That's really sweet. When we, I think, were we in New York?

No, I was just there by myself a couple of years ago. I think 22, I went to New York. And Nathan and I again met up, him and his girlfriend now. And we went, there's some fancy-ass place near Central Park that everybody goes to on Christmas, some bar in a really nice hotel. The plaza? It might, I don't think it, like, Trump Plaza Hotel? No, it's called the Plaza Hotel. Yeah, but doesn't Trump own that?

I think he was just in it in the movie. It's just called the Plaza Hotel. It's like a famous, yeah, presidents have stayed there. It's just the, have you ever been to Rolfs? That's a funny, it's a German place on, Google Rolfs, ROLF. Oh, there it is. Rolfs. Damn.

Oh, this is the Indian place? No, no, it's a, it's a German place. You get these big German beers and they decorate it. Crazy. Wow. It's a real... Oh, you know what I got to do before I die?

I'm doing that this year. I want to do that. I want to go to like a little... Take your mom. She'll love it. What's the little German... Isn't there like a little German Christmas village? See what happens.

What are you talking? German Christmas. German village. Christmas. But there's some famous like... Phil, do you have any good Christmas memories? It's all Dutch to me. The polka nose is always good.

That was a big thing growing up going there. rent a cabin, that sort of stuff. Are the Poconos a mountain? Yeah. It's a Pennsylvania mountain range that we all kind of grow up going to. I'd like, you know, there was a time out here before you were here also, 2015, I think. Oh, dude, you used to have these Christmas parties. I would have big ass Christmas parties.

I know. You would send me these pictures. Yeah. And one of the first ones I had, it was, I just blew it the fuck out. I got so much shit, so much food. I bought everyone presents So I just had numbers in a hat There was no game

You would pull out a thing And you would just get a present from me And it was like I found a giant painting And like someone got a giant painting And shit like that And I got food for everybody People were like what the fuck is going on And then

Around that time Kind of one of my only like really close friends Was Luciano who I did animals with And he was late What the fuck is going on dude? Like Where's Mike? This is fucked up.

And then about two hours into it, his girlfriend at the time comes in, and she's dressed as Mrs. Claus. And she's like, guys, guys, there's a surprise guest here. And then Luch comes in. Wow. Dressed as Santa Claus. Had no idea. He was a full-blown Santa Claus outfit. Had no idea he was going to do it.

And then everyone took pictures with him and stuff. It was so sweet. I like giving. I like hosting a thing. I like doing sweet stuff, giving people good gifts. So that was really up there. I should dress as Santa this year and go to someone's house who has kids. You should.

Unannounced. Unannounced. Unannounced. Oh, oh, oh. He flipped it. Oh, oh, oh. Medi. Ma.

He really is so different saying, oh, oh, oh. It's just a fundamentally wrong guy. He sounds like it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, he's got some sort of, like, bow. Hello, little fucker. Have you guys, there's been eating a chicken sandwich? Oh, oh, oh, oh. I have been getting.

Yeah, you got full-screeched from that. The extra thing that's fucked up about the Howland Rays is not only did I get chicken tenders to eat today for dinner and a side of macaroni salad. You got chicken tenders for dinner? I mean, if I'm going to be ordering. Howland Reyes, I'm also going to get something for the next day. I thought like today you were out and you're like, no, no, no, no, back to back, baby. But it makes me constipated.

I truly thought there was going to be a story. I thought we were going somewhere else, brother. Oh, and also Doug finally pooped out the last of the Hershey's Kisses rappers. How do you know it's the last? Because he didn't have any in them this morning. And yesterday there was a bunch. It looked like, what did you eat, bird poop? But no, it was foil.

Because, you know, it looked all white and speckley, like bird shit. And how many did he eat? Oh, about 30? Holy shit. Yeah, yeah. Rappers and all. I was pissed. I was mad at him.

Didn't Kev have something recently? I was somewhere in someone's dog ate something where we were kind of freaking out. No, not Kev. He would know better. He's resilient anyway. He's not like super, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's had like one very funny instance where like he's a freak for almond butter. And. So am I lately.

I've never seen him eat You could put stuff down I've never seen him like try to get it But Sarah put a bowl of oatmeal With some almond butter She put it on her desk to Because she was gonna eat it there And then she went to go grab something

When she came back He had jumped onto the desk So just like fully standing on a table And his face in the oatmeal And she was like cat And he just looked up oatmeal It's so funny Because they know like

I've never stood on this before And they just commit like Here we go baby we're doing it what is dub driven by he's driven by food he's driven by food and affection yeah aren't we all yeah at first that he didn't care about food i think i'm toy driven as a human like what kind of toys that plane thing you were talking about earlier it's still it's zipping around my head i'm not here i like little stuff like that keff's toy and affection he's ball driven obviously he's ball crazy yeah he's yeah i'm pretty much he's not

much of a food guy, which is very sweet, actually. I'm pretty much food and affection-tripping. I'm food and I'm food and drugs, dude. Is that really? Get me in the FDA. Food and toys, no affection. I'm like a worm, brave. I don't need anybody.

I'm like a worm, Brady. You understand me? I really hate to do this, but I'm going to dip out just to pee real fast. Continue. I can't hold at another. This is surprising because we had a pee break right before this. It's the cold brew, man.

It just goes right through me. Wait, aren't you not supposed to be drinking coffee? Aren't you on a... No, I didn't start it yet. I broke so fucking hard this weekend. Because of my little potluck, people brought donuts. Then I had donuts. Oh, you technically started and then you broke.

Starting is such a black and white word. I think of it more of like it's a cold pool and I'm sort of slowly going up. For context, there's a new, there's a new guy in town. Watch out, Andrew Huberman. Everyone is, everyone's going crazy from Mark Hyman. Is that his word? Mark Hyman.

Mark Hyman. And I, can you believe I'm in mid-30s and I'm still dealing with Hyman's? That's pretty good. Disgusting. That is disgusting. You can say it. I didn't feel good saying it either. H-Y-A-M-A-N.

I was surprised. It came up at, you told me about it, and then you brought it up at Thanksgiving. The whole table's like, oh, I love my client. The other person brought it up. I tagged on. Oh, yeah, okay, okay. But I'm like, I'd never heard of that. I never heard about this guy.

And as a health guy, you would imagine. And then. But you have to admit he's pitching the meal dietary plan. I mean, that's when I've seen you make forever. When stuff comes out, like you should be, I'm like, I'm already, when we looked at the cleanse, I was like, I don't eat any of that shit. Right. So.

And I eat. Oh, laura, that shit. hate a lot of that shit but the but even my friend just came to town and he's like I just finished this cleanse

and I was like if it's fucking Mark Hyman I'm gonna figure it was and it was Mark Hyman everyone is uh I don't know I don't get how this stuff just everyone's got a new health guy

it's gotta be podcasts oh okay he's making the rounds it's gotta be I did follow him on Instagram because I think there's a lot of chatter around RFK and all of his claims

which whatever he's got crazy shit but also just general health shit and people are reaching out to guys who have similar outlooks on health and wellness and are like this guy is way more acceptable than that fucking maniac. Interesting.

I got... I heard him on Tucker. Mark Hyman? Yeah. Tucker Carlson? Yeah. Do you watch Tucker Carlson? Yes. No, he don't. No, he doesn't. He's lying.

What's it, what's to do with this guy? He does not disprove a general truth, but Donald Trump is that one anomaly. Yeah. Because I just had an ice cream Sunday with, with Trump like three days ago. Yeah. I'm off the idea. What? Thank you, Tucker.

He's 25 years older than I am. Yeah. And I'm not just saying this. I'm not sucking up. I wouldn't say anything if this works. Yes, you are. The guy's sharp. Yeah.

Yeah. Really precise. Oh my God. Tucker Carson is such a hot. Pretty good shape. I've 79 chap. Like, wow. That's just a rig of nature.

Dick riding? I think it is. I think it is. Would I love him to get healthy and everybody to get healthy? Yes, that's my job. I'm a doctor. But if he's managing and doing great, what can I say? All right, enough.

I fucking, everything that comes out of Tucker Carlson's mouth feels so intentionally. It feels so intentionally misleading and disingenuous. Remember when they came from our boy and you're like, Andrew Humor Man gets so much pussy. And everyone was like, okay. Very cool. Very cool. Veracuda. he was uh i think he was flying a little too close to the son

with what his relationships yeah yeah they were calling him andrewuberman i heard he was like i don't think there deserved to be an article or about it or whatever but i do think reading it you're like okay slow down there bud uh wait so what did i miss what's to do with this doctor why do you like him well i am a sick man i was gonna start doing some of his shit. He's supposed to be doing the Mark Hyman cleanse.

Everyone's on this Mark Hyman cleanse. I was going to do this Markheim and thought about sugar before my life. And I recently fell in love with Eminem's and I have been thinking about sugar. And then I did it. I soft started doing it and I had such an incredible headache

that I was like shocked. I mean, I was like, well, that's actually very, very scary. The coffee thing is going to kill you. You're It's no coffee, right? The coffee thing's going to come up yet. Stop it. I never stopped coffee, but I really tapered it down and I had zero sugar.

And, like, it was a Sunday night. And I felt like I had the flu and I had a pounding headache. I felt hungover. What about tea? Are you allowed to have tea? You can have green tea. But honestly, for the 10 days, you shouldn't have any caffeine. Now, did you have to spend money on this?

Is there something that you're also consuming? No, he just tells you what? things to cut out for 10 days. Oh, man. What day are you on right now? I am on zero of the days. Oh, shit. I've been postponing it.

He started for a day and then broke it. I kind of want to try that. Mark Hyman. You should try it too. It's pretty good. We should all do the 10 days. I mean, I don't know anything about this guy. Emil, that's enough for me.

I've already seen enough. I'm going to try it for 35 years. You are chilling, brother. Wait, you haven't taken out of Zinn at all. I have one. There have one. Awesome. Nice.

I'm going to get one for the bonus. But also that, too. I'm going to try not to do that for 10 days. Can we take a moment to appreciate what's going on here, by the way? For the audio listener, Doug actually followed me up the stairs this time, and he's... Oh, you didn't pull him up? No. He just was like, I'll go up with you.

Because he senses my kind energy. Yeah, he actually really likes you. Do you think that's what it is? Yeah, I think so. Me and him have a contentious relationship. I didn't want to say it, but I feel it. Yeah. You and Doug?

He called me some anti-Greek stuff. A Greek stuff, too. What's an... I don't even know what anti-Greek slurs there are. Why don't you ask your dog? Wait. Because he... Holy shit.

Feta lover? Feta fucker. Damn. That's all I've got. Look at the way he's looking at me. No, I'm just kidding. Me and Bobby are cool. Yeah.

Bobby would never say that kind of stuff. He's a good boy. Everybody loves it. I am worried about, and we'll see if it does, because this is a bit before the holiday. Oh, yes, dude. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention it. I'm a little bit worried about the anti-Italian sentiment in this country now that

Luigi. Luigi, Ben, Joe. No, everybody loves it. No, everybody loves it. And I think everybody feels it. I was on it. Nah, the tweets were getting already. The tweets were getting sent to us already.

I was on a, it was funny because I was on a call when the news broke and Sarah just texted me. I just saw the text come through on my computer and it just said, Luigi Mangione. And I said, and I was like, don't just send me Italian names. And then when I got up, I was like, oh. Yeah, he's a... I had two, there was a pair of brothers that were Mangoni that was in high school. They didn't do it. Wasn't, uh...

Wait, when you heard that it was, that he was found out of McDonald's, did you think it was me? Yes. I thought maybe you were using an alias. Ooh, I should get McDonald's at another, I, I, I, hmm. It's good. Do you guys go through the same thing during the holidays where you're like, fuck it, everything, nothing counts until the new year, and then I'm going to eat clean? for me from from from thanksgiving up until uh christmas it's all about being naughty so that i can it's all about being naughty so that i can feel nice that's the like general

sentiment i think that's why the gym sucks in january it's like the worst fucking place in the world i here's what i do i fight the good fight and when i'm at my parents house i go in the garage and i do my push-ups and i do all that sort of stuff and i completely break even because I'm eating shitty. We're going out to dinner. We're doing all this stuff. But I fight the good fight because I think we're out of age now. It just feels so fucking bad. Yeah. And then you get like depressed and you're in the holidays. So I think that's like a weird. You're eating so much sugar and you're treating yourself bad. And like if you're drinking too, like that adds to it where you end up in like this weird fog and you're talking to your uncle and he's like, I just like your cartoon when it's funnier than it is. And you're like, it is. It is weird. It is. It is weird. the way the food will I mean like you're talking about with the chicken sandwich dude one

I'll get like a full blown hangover from it where I'm like that's why I'm surprised when you say like oh and I got the tenders for the next day I'm like dude I would be like I need this out of my fucking house this is it feels like I went on a bender or something

yeah it does I had the potato salad today for like lunch wasn't even that much I had to take a nap I took a nap afterwards you're a napper I mean no but when I'm eating well and I'm exercising six times in my life. Wow.

Really? Yeah. I hate them. You know it does feel really good though? Those those like sneaky push-ups when you're like on vacation or something like that and you're like I've got to get it in and you're just like let me try to bang out 200 push-ups. Yeah. Yeah. Especially get you away from your family. You're like a little swollen and I've never done to. I can do 150. I've never pushed a 200.

I mean, it would take me 30 minutes. No, yeah, yeah, for sure. It takes me a long. Oh, it takes me, I probably do like 200 in like... Hey? No, like 15 minutes or something like that. Not all at once. Well, yeah, you're titty boy. Because you got titties.

I'm the maid's milking. Yeah. That's what I pictured in as here. You could do it if you took the break. I know, I know. And I... It feels good to go to max on just straight up push-ups. It's crazy.

You guys saw RFK Jr. when he was all pumped out. Come on. He was doing push-ups all right? Yeah. remember he's all red and he's like at gold's gym apparently he's at gold's gym my friend right now a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend said he goes to gold's gym and he sees rfk junior there there he is oh man in jeans yeah that's i don't like that ew and he doesn't have a towel on the bench that doesn't bother me that bothers me ew you're getting everybody else's schmutz and sweat

on your shit this is golds in venice yeah yeah apparently schwarzenegger just goes too oh yeah that is wild that like why wouldn't you just have a a private gym I mean dude how much is this guy ganged with oh I'm sure he's all got like well also how tall is he how tall is he that's my big question

why because the the short of you are the shorter you are wow six one fuck you oh hell yeah I'm taller than Elon Musk I will say though little bit

I will say I doubt he's 6 too pretty much every these are all fucking so goosed. Interesting. If you ever are around a celebrity, stand up next to them and take note and then go home and Google their thing. Like, you're like, you're like, you fucking liars.

Oh, yeah. You got to people? Oh, dude. Anytime I've run it, I'm like, liar. And I get home and I'm like, you fucking liar. Because we've all been. No picture, no nothing. We've all.

Hey, yeah, show me. Let me stand next to you. We've all been to stand next to you. All been at parties. And the thing is, they're all trying to clear six foot. not they're like hovering around 510 511 you'll see me if we're ever at a party and there's someone you'll see me like siddle up and be like I know I'm six foot and I'm like and I'm like me thinks that's not six foot pal let's ask Doug how tall he is Doug how tall are you really nice

I bet I bet our best performing content it features Doug yeah if you can goose that's that sound of the book. I had one of those tiny microphones and I gave it to my mom's dog. I said, Dewey, how's Christmas going? And he goes, it's really beautiful. I remember that, yeah. Do you? Wasn't it on Instagram? I probably put it up. Yeah.

Hell yeah. I'll send it. And it'll play now. Chiqu-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-. Oh, yeah, before we have any holiday advice? Do we have any holiday wice? Do we have any holiday well wishes this is potentially right before Christmas I would say if you have a

bang out 200 push-ups you're gonna feel amazing honestly that's just life advice if you're ever feeling bad just do 200 eat like shit go crazy make sure you have that little you know and the way I like to do it 30 regulars 20 diamonds

30 regulars 20 diamonds do you ever do super wides now copy that 30 regulars 20 diamonds 30 regulars 20 diamonds hell yeah you do four of those and you're done so you heard it here

the meatball special wishes you the greatest Christmas your your uncle's pissing you off head to the garage head to the garage do 200 shit

your uncle doesn't look like Robert F. Kennedy your uncle looks like shit he looks like shit because he didn't he wasn't your age doing 20 a diamond

30 regular I'm surprised my uncles are still alive come back to the dining table looking absolutely yoked out of your goddamn mind true beat red I think it was jacking off

in the garage. What's up, uncle? Just out of breath and red. Oh, man. I hope it doesn't backfire on you and that your uncles do not make fun of you for jacking off. When you weren't jacking off,

you were just doing 200 push-ups. They always make fun of you no matter what. I've got a drama story that I'll share in the bonus, Ben and Emielshow.com. How drama? Pretty good. Are you also going to tell

his real name in the bonus? Nope. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. You probably won't. Will you give us the dog's real name?

Yeah, sure. Not right now in the bottom. Really? Yeah. Yeah, in the bottom. Gentle Ben is so scared. Sorry I've been so out of it, folks. It's that fucking chicken sandwich.

You've been on. It's all right. Oh, my God. Jesus, H. I'm still just in love with a hello bowser. I can say that. I can do that, right? That's her thing.

Hello, Bowser. Hello, Bowser. In the beginning. In the beninging. Okay, everybody. Love you so much. We'll see you in the boners. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. And happy Hanukkah. And happy New Year. And Kwanza, too. And anything you celebrate. And all the stuff. And all kinds of pagan holidays and demonic shit. Respect.

Yeah. We don't want them on our bedside. No, we do not. Goodbye, everybody.