The Ben and Emil Show - PP 26: Hunter Biden is a mess

Episode Date: December 14, 2023

Hunter Biden is unstoppable. We know he'd be a fun hang, but he's also a king who doesn't pay his taxes...which is how they might finally be bringing him down. We dive in all you need to know about the president's reckless son. PLUS we're talking about the Panera Death Lemonade that kills you, Krispy Kreme launching in France, and Smile Direct Club going belly up. Thanks for watching! Support our Patreon for bonus episodes. This week we're reviewing Saltburn, Godzilla, Ben laments the perils of potential fatherhood, and more: https://www.patreon.com/PayPigsPod This episode (and every episode) was masterfully edited by Dillon Moore. Check him out at https://www.dillonmoore.co Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, everybody. Welcome to this episode. We're going to be talking all about everything you need to know about Hunter Biden. Our boy just loves getting doint down his mind on... And he hates paying taxes. Oh, man, this guy, you would think he's allergic to paying his taxes. Plus, we're going to... We can't not talk about the charged lemonade.

We have to. From Panera bread. Also, are you someone trying to get your teeth fixed? We're talking about the downfall. of smile direct club yeah if you're out there with your you if your crooked teeth are messed up you're going to have to find an alternative and also the french how crispy are their creams we're going to be talking about the french we're going to find out here the intro What do you think?

Should I get one of those jewels on my tooth? Oh, I thought you meant G-U-U-U-L. That'd be kind of cool. A little jewel to shut down. Does a dentist put the jewel in the tooth? Dude, I actually was just thinking about this the other day. I was like, I kind of think it'd be cool if I got like a gold tooth. A gold tooth?

Yeah. What are you, a 1900s guy? Early 1900s guy? No. Why would you need a gold tooth? What are you a, a tiger at a rescue? a tiger rescue? Yeah, I'm a tiger at a tiger rescue.

In, like, Bangladesh, you got his tooth replaced? Is that what they do? That's what they do. It's really cool. They give him golden teeth. Oh, I didn't know, uh, tigers in, in... They got to eat too, dude. They got to eat too.

Welcome to... Well, so do Italian guys. Yeah, that's true. Welcome to the show. We are the foremost podcast on everything that's going on. everything that's going on and we're going to explain it and break it down for you. The foremost podcast of everything that's going on.

We're going to make it entertaining. We're going to make this a fun watch. So stick around. You just might learn something. Or a fun listen. Yeah. For this episode, we're going to be talking about,

let's dive right into it, shall we? He's my personal hero. This might be the biggest pay pig salute we've ever given. Yeah. His name is Hunter Biden. American hero? He is,

you know, I've learned a lot of, about Hunter Biden, just doing the research for this episode. The man is... I never thought I'd know exactly what the president's son's penis looked like. Did you look at the penis photos? Come on. I haven't looked.

You know I'm on a telegram channel that's just sharing... Dedicated his cock. Just sharing Hunter Biden. Well, so, I mean, if it... Oh, geez. If you don't know much about Hunter Biden, you're about to learn everything there is

to know, I thought it would be pertinent to, get into a little bit of a timeline, a little bit of a background on the man. Give me a timeline on the scooky bastard. A timeline? I know. I fuck that. It's okay.

I'm fucking up left and right. I've had a garbage week so far, even though it's only two days. Because there was this stock that I was trading. Oh, it's stock. It's always a stock. I thought it was going to be fun. I thought it was going to be fun. I thought it was going to be an actual garbage week.

I thought it were going to be digging through the trash. No, no, no, no. I, there was a stock that I bought some call options on last week that, that I thought that expired last week. And if I had just bought them for one more week out, if I had given myself one more week of time, I would have made a lot of money. And I'm just really pissed off about that. Boo-hoo. Can I tell you something I did today? When you clip your fingernails or toenails, where do you do it? Okay. I do it in the sink. Great. What do you do? Step outside? Sink. Okay. But sometimes if I'm doing my toes, I'll do it over the toilet. I'll just put

my feet right on the thing, you know what I mean? On the edge of the toilet? Yeah. Why don't you just like sit down on the ground and clip them. That's where they go right in the toilet. Okay. So today I was going to do it. Mm-hmm. And they, I'm an eco-conscious guy, right? Mm-hmm.

I pissed and I said, well, why don't I, why don't I clip my toenails first? I'm rubbing off on you. Then you're not flushing twice, you know what I mean? Sure. Saving a gallon of water. Sure. Mm-hmm.

I got through, like, one foot, and then I dropped the... You dropped the clippers in the toilet? Yeah. Did you have the moment of hesitation and then you said, well, I got to reach in there. I was pretty much, I immediately knew I have to go in and get them. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, don't think about it too long because then it'll make, it's like when you go up and you're going to jump off a cliff.

You got to just jump. You can't just sit up there and look at how high it is. So I said, fuck it. Just stuck my hand in piss. Hold out the clippers. Yeah. That's my garbage morning. Brother, I've been there.

Thinking through piss? And, well, I dropped my glasses in the toilet one time after peeing in them. And then I just was like, oh, and just reached in and grabbed him out and started doing it. Dang, that reminded me of something. Shoot. Hunter Biden, hopefully. No, it wasn't Hunter Biden. It was, you clipping your nails.

What the hell? What the hell's going on? Trying to remember what it was. Well, let's just move on. Maybe it'll come back. Put your foot in the toilet, something like that. Well, either way. Yeah.

Yeah, it's been a, so it's been a, it's been a tumultuous morning for the both of us. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Hey, it's okay. I wash my hands. Yeah. Well, so Hunter Biden is Joe Biden, the president, his son. And he has, I want to preface this with, if you are, if you are someone at all who struggles with addiction of any kind, this is going to be a little bit of a triggering episode for you.

But, because we are going to praise him. I mean, his crack abuse. He's like a goddamn rock and roll star. He really, he really is. It's insane. But so the big news, of course, is that this special counsel, his name is David Weiss, began investigating Hunter Biden five years ago. And just last week, finally.

How fun would that be, falling around this kooky bastard? For five fucking years. Taking through his financial statements? Yeah. Weiss began investigating Hunter Biden actually under Trump. He was appointed the U.S. attorney by Trump for Delaware. But so just a little bit of background on Hunter, and I'm skipping a bunch. But he went to Yale.

Did not know that. He went to Yale. I think Yale Law School. Yale Law School, correct. Went to Georgetown undergrad Yale Law School. And he started drinking heavily in the early 2000s while he was working at a law and lobbying firm. And so let's jump all the way to 2014. He was in the Navy Reserves, and he got discharged.

I'm guessing dishonorably. Can you guess why he was discharged? Gay stuff on the boats? Good guess. No, it was cocaine use. He got discharged for cocaine use. And then he joined the board of Burisma, which is a Ukrainian energy company, that at the time was under investigation for corruption.

corruption as Joe Biden, Vice President Joe Biden, was overseeing White House policy toward Ukraine. Hmm. Sounds above board. Sounds a little bit, uh, no, yeah, you're right. It sounds actually perfectly harmless. So then, uh, next year, 2015, his brother, Beau, RIP to a real one. He died of brain cancer.

And it devastates the entire family. So what does Hunter do? Hunter has an alcohol relapse and which eventually gave way to crack Wait, but doesn't he start Fucking Bose? Yeah, that was the That was in 2017

You're getting ahead of me Yeah, he did He did start fucking his dead brother's wife He divorced his own wife Who he'd been married to since the early 90s They had, I believe, three kids together Divorces his wife Starts using crack

And also starts having sex With his dead brother's wife they have a trist, then he really had a bang... 2018 was like his banner year. Because according to him, he went on just like a rampage, none of which he remembers, including and especially sleeping with a woman in Arkansas. The kind of shit I'm talking about.

This could be us if we abuse... Brother, I'll try crack once. This is Hunter Biden's station... No. Was it station a station? What's the David Bowie album we were talking about? Oh, yeah, yeah. He doesn't remember.

He didn't remember the whole album. But it banged so hard. That was Hunter Biden's 2018. So he has a kid from this random woman in Arkansas. He says he has zero recollection of it. They name the kid Navy. The little girl, they name her Navy. I don't know if the woman named her Navy.

Because he was like, what? After this, I'm going to get kicked out of this house for my cocaine use. Just like I did. The Navy. Yeah, that's good. Maybe that's why. So for the rest of the year, he's fucking around. and then he decides, hey, you know what, I should buy a gun.

You got to. So he goes and buys a gun. With a year like this, he probably owes people money. Yeah, he's got to have some protection. Plus, you're Joe Biden's son. Can you imagine how paranoid he was at that point? You're lobbying for and consulting for some Chinese companies, some Ukrainian companies, big businessman. He's leveraging his name.

He's leveraging his own name. he's essentially lying to these people and saying that he's got the inside track and has like an influential he is an influential voice in the ear of Joe Biden which was turned out to be like mostly a lie because one of his associates ended up

like testifying behind closed doors in saying that that's what he was doing people were buying it though apparently he was Oh yeah he was cleaning up They slashed his um they slashed his salary in half when Joe Biden left office because they as the vice president He was making millions of dollars doing this.

A million to a half million. Yeah, a year. Still pretty good money. Still pretty good money. For being a crack addicted lawyer. Yeah, I wonder how many, like, calls he showed up to or missed just looking like he's on crack. Because, I mean, you can't hide. Just gun tucked into his waistband.

No shirt on? I mean, when you see what he was doing at the time, when you see, like, his videos and photos, he was shamelessly doing. crack. How else are you supposed to do it? Yeah, I guess, doing crack with shame doesn't really, yeah. I mean, the man is fucking his dead brother's wife. Yeah, he, I guess you could say he dropped his nail clippers in the proverbial

piss-filled toilet. Yeah. And just was, he just kept dropping the nail clippers to do it and kept them to reach in and grab him. So he buys, this is a big deal, because he bought this gun. and on a government form when you're when you're buying a gun apparently it asks you hey are you on drugs and he said he checked a box that said no i'm not because come on what else are you going to do yeah you're going to tell him yeah you're going to say yeah and then the

government's not going to give you a gun he's got he's got the ccp after him he's got zolensky coming after him i don't think well yeah zillinsky was after him yeah everybody's after i mean it probably felt like he was he lied to the government and and and said that he wasn't on drugs, which was a felony offense. And that's one of the things that ended up getting him caught. But so then... But which is a pretty like unserious offense. And I think most people...

Lie to the government? Well, I don't. I don't. I don't. That this is not something that usually gets this kind of attention. Sure. So then the next year... But there are bigger things that are coming.

Right. Yeah. The bigger... One of the biggest things we've all heard about the laptop, Hunter Biden's laptop. So, 2019, he takes his laptop into some, like, not even an, it was like an official Mac affiliate store to get his laptop fixed. And the guy who's working there, whose last name, I think, is actually Mac. He took it in and he was like, uh, it's not playing the videos I made with hookers. I think there's crack in the motherboard or, I mean, baking powder or something.

Yeah, he takes it in and the guy. working there was so alarmed by what was on Hunter Biden's laptop that he called the FBI. What a narc. Brother, yeah. Julie, what a narc, man. I'm not going, I'm not taking my laptop there, even though I got nothing to hide, but still. So then in 2020, he's finally confirmed that he is the father of the child in Arkansas, and he's forced to pay child support and back taxes, or not back taxes, back child.

support. One thing that I did not know was that Joe Biden did not publicly acknowledge the existence of this child, his grandchild, until July of this year. When he said, me and Jill just want the best, we just want the best for all our grandchildren, including Navy, the bastard one. And he didn't say that. But did he call her out by name? I don't think he did. I think he just said for all of our grandchildren, maybe he did say including Navy, something like that. Because he did acknowledge her publicly, so he must have said her name. And, you know, but so, which brings us to the present day where a federal jury just last week charged him.

Here in California. They just, who's that mafioso who got busted for taxes, John Gotti? So many. Yeah, but like the big one. Al Capone. That's right. That's right. You know, he had a mansion in Downey, California, I believe.

Or maybe it was John Gotti. some mafioso had two very different guys this is the this is the thing i'm always talking about the anti-italian sentiment in this country and this is stuff i'm talking about well dude what do you famously the italians like started mafias i'm not saying it's a bad thing i think it's great it's community policing which is what you want not exactly what it is isn't that what you want sure so also it's important to note those those gun charges and stuff That was filed in Delaware, and that was all, this summer, he was all set to have a plea deal worked out. A sweetheart plea deal.

Oh, yeah. He was going to have to be on probation for, like, somewhere from two to four years. It was, and he was also going to not be able to be prosecuted for some of these other things, like the taxes, like these dealings with foreign governments and stuff like that. So that's one of the... But then the deal fell apart in September. Yeah, because they couldn't, the prosecution and Hunter Biden's team couldn't come to either they, I believe they couldn't come to an agreement because they were both essentially saying different things. Hunter Biden was demanding like, hey, if you guys knock me down for this or put me a, what if you, if you, if you win this case, you can't do any, you can't, this is going to effectively make me, give me immunity against any future charges. Yeah, that was one of the big sticking points.

Yeah, they were like, what are you talking about? you're talking about it. So then, you're, no. And so the, the, the, the shit all fell apart. And yeah, so they were like, you've been crazy for 10 years. Yeah. It's time to pay the Piper or literally pay the IRS, because that's what they got him for, evading millions of dollars in federal taxes on income from foreign investments. So he's got three counts each, a total of nine of evasion of a tax assessment, failure to file and pay taxes, and filing a false or fraudulent tax return. Man, oh man. And that sweetheart deal from earlier this year, even the I are, so Republicans obviously were super pissed off about it because the Republicans are saying that Joe Biden has also benefited from Hunter Biden's use of his name. They're saying that, yeah, like Hunter Biden is using the Biden name and using his

access to American politics and government to not only enrich himself, but to enrich the entire Biden family. Oh, yeah. And so not only were Republicans pissed off about the sweetheart. deal, but the IRS agents who had been investigating it were also sounding off saying, like, yo, this is serious shit. You can't let them off. Right.

The IRS went public with it. Yeah. And that's how it all got opened up again. Yeah. It's also, it's very funny reading the different coverage of it. It's, there's like, the New York Times is very soft on it. Like, in their big article about it, they have like a, they say, the charges while serious were far less explosive than ones pushed by former president Donald J. Trump.

congressional Republicans who have been angry with the department for failing to find wider criminal wrongdoing by the president's son and family. But then if you go into like the Wall Street Journal and stuff, they're like, this is insane. Like, he's got to go to jail. Oh yeah. He totally, he fully not only didn't pay his taxes. So basically, I'll get to that, but to quote them that he engaged in a four-year scheme to not pay $1.4 million in federal taxes he owed for 2016 through 2019. He spent This money on drugs, escorts, and girlfriends, luxury hotels, and rental properties, exotic cars, clothing, and other items of a personal nature. In short, everything but his taxes.

Which fucking, that, I mean, let me just list that again. Drugs, escorts and girlfriends, luxury hotels, exotic cars, clothing, and other items of a personal... I love spending money on other items of a personal nature, don't you? Yeah, and especially not in my taxes. Are you kidding me? you'd be spending it all in clothes i can guarantee that i don't buy that i don't even buy clothes my man loves clothes what that's insane my man is obsessed he's always talking about like look at this new shirt it's i literally are you joking no i'm not joking at all three hundred dollars yeah how

much is that shirt that's a new one i've never seen that one it's an old ass l l bine shirt yeah l o bean everybody knows that dirt cheap this is a fucking my man is layered up like a damn seven layer burrito what is this taco bell you're saying it's old old as hell. I think I bought this in 2010. He's pointing to a single, like, maybe scuff mark on it. You take good care of your clothes. I got to tell you. I don't wash them. Yeah, I haven't washed these pants since I've purchased them and I need to wash them because they're starting to feel weird on my legs. And they smell like piss. They don't smell like piss. Yeah, he smells like piss. No, no, I do that trick where you push up on your taint and it supposedly stops the urine flow.

Someone told me that in the comments one time. What? Nothing. Just the first thing you said to me today. I think, I don't, don't know if you said hi you just said i need to wash my pants and i said that's what you're going to say to me it's true it's true fuck crap yeah yeah yeah i got out of the truck and i just said man i got to wash my pants i said hey hi oh wait is it the one you spilled the burrito yeah i got grease yeah but did you spot treat it no i didn't do that let me see it it's right it's right there yeah you're nasty yeah it's wow it's just fully soaked in it's it's a patina Isn't that what this called?

Patina? When metal is treated? Anyway, they're seasoned, yeah. Yeah, they're seasoned, like a cast iron skillet. So, the, the, the, the, the, the, he subverted to payroll and tax withholding of his own company, which was called Awasco PC.

What the fuck? Kind of name is that. Owasco. The kind of, kind of name a guy, Zooted it out on crack cocaine might come up with. Yeah, the IRS is trying to say, you awas millions of dollars, Co. Go on.

Jesus. Pretty good. Fuck. No, that's good. He withdrew millions of dollars. And, uh, and, and, you might want to pause, let people stop laughing. Yeah. Thank you very much.

So they, the, the, the whole thing is basically just about tax evasion. And it doesn't, it's crucially, it doesn't name Joe Biden anywhere, nor does it claim that his working, uh, that hunters weren't working for foreign businessmen or companies was illegal. You can, you can do what Hunter Biden did. I do it all the time. Work for foreign companies? Who? Like what?

Patagonia? Aren't they based in like Ventura, California? I don't know. That's foreign to me. If it's outside L.A. Who do you work for, dude? Who? I work for some Lithuanian companies.

Damn, really? I didn't even know Lithuan. Yeah, wow. Estonia. Lovia, a lot of former Soviet bloc countries. Nice. Nice. Well, so again, not illegal, but not paying your taxes.

is illegal. He leveraged his name. They're basically saying he leveraged his name to earn millions of dollars in consulting and lobbying by touting his access to his dad, despite little experience in the relevant fields like fucking oil and gas and energy. Also, they'll be pretty lax with you if you, uh, I had a few years right and pay my taxes and they came for me. Look.

This is all making me want to change my last name and make it like Rockefeller or Biden or something and just to lie to these companies and be like, yeah, I'm a Rockefeller. what do you want yeah no i'll consult for you see what you got to do ukrainian oil and gas company you got to pump more oil out of the ground they're like it's genius yeah you got to sell more and listen i'll uh i'll make it sweet for you i'll whisper in in old grandpa biden's ear or rockefeller whoever and i'll tell them to like buy your oil great yeah okay anyway i got to go. That'll be $500,000. You can wire it to my checking account. So I want to show the, well, for the audio listener and the video watcher, I'm just going to pull up this thing.

We've got a little bit of an insight into what he was, into what he was. These numbers don't even fucking add up to me. They're insane amounts of money. I mean, the, the biggest, this is from 2016 through 2019. Cash withdrawals totaled a little over $1.6 million. Has this man ever heard of Apple Pay? It's like, what are you doing, guy? That much cash is, fuck. The amount of AT&P.

When you're buying drugs, you've got to use cash probably. That's true. Venmo, my guy? Yeah, I wasn't even thinking. I'm like, what do you spend in that much fucking cash on? Crack cocaine. Crack cocaine. Truly.

Yeah, I mean, what else is it? I mean, well, when he did the $7702,000 and a million dollars, those, it might have been, you know, maybe getting a sweetheart deal from a, from one of these landlords. I'll pay you all cash. Well, at one of, let me just go down to the, also, don't these fucking ATMs have limits? Every time I try to take out more than 300 bucks, they're like, beat it. We locked your card. We just ate the card.

Dude, they, they, he's probably got access to some, some ATMs that we pleads don't have access. Yeah. Some Goldman Sachs. My bank never believes me. They're like, no. No, you can't have this. You have the money, but we're eating your card.

Yeah. then he he boy this is really interesting so payments to various women in 2016 he only spent $4,400 to in payments on various women and then for the next three years holy shit 6803 000 things got away from them a little bit he spent on various women I wish they went in debt like I need to know what what are these payments for they're escorts man they're sex workers 100% oh I'm so nice I just love the peak you tell me payments to various women, I thought, I didn't know what I thought it was. I mean, it could be all sorts of things.

And then $397,000 in clothing and accessories, which rocks. Well, he's just like me. Yeah, he's got to look good. You got to look good when you're picking up escorts and using crack, right? I mean, hell yeah. I mean, you're not going to be walking around looking like me. I like this, tuition slash education slash extracurricular. He was trying to better himself.

No, it's for his children. I wish he was just going to night classes this whole time. He's at Santa Monica City. You got to burn off that extra crack energy. Yeah, so he spent $309,000 on that. Really dropped down in 2019. I don't know what happened there. Someone graduated.

$237,000 in health, beauty, and pharmacy. Hmm. Health, I mean, spas? I don't know what the hell that is. I mean, you ever seen some of those creams and stuff? That's that's expensive. Yeah, Dr. Not Dr. Brunner's,

Lamar. This guy's watching Haley Bieber's TikToks and being like, I got a splurge on all this stuff. You know what Haley Bieber says? You want to go to bed like a glazed donut. That's what she says? I think so.

Really? Huh. I didn't know that she was a beauty influencer. What? I did not know. I thought she was just like, I'm happy and I love God and Jesus because she's, they're all Christian.

And Justin Bieber. Yeah, and famously I love my husband, Justin Bieber. And my weird dad, Baldwin. Stephen Baldwin. Actually, I don't know which ones are dead. I think it is Stephen Baldwin.

Can you name all the Baldwin brothers? Alec. Mm-hmm. Yaco. Nope. Billy Alec Daniel Stephen. Billy Alec Daniel Stephen. Just remember BADS.

Billy Alec Dallon Tui. Yep, that's right. That's exactly right. Oh, boy. So 236 grand on miscellaneous retail purchases, $214,000 on food, groceries, and restaurants. And, you know, just a... Oh, he did spend $71,000 on rehab, which is pretty good.

And he contributed to his Roth IRA. Which is nice. He did contribute to his Roth IRA. So good for him for being... Wait, wait. Look at his adult entertainment. Oh, oh, how could we have missed that? 138 grand.

188 grand. 188 grand. Excuse me. Adult entertainment. I don't know if that includes Pants to women. I think that might just be strip clubs and porn.

I think it is porn. How do you spend? That's the thing. I need a better breakdown. I need to know what that is. Because if it's porn, I love that he just thinks you still have to pay for porn. I mean, you can't...

Also, he could be going nuts on Onlyfans. Oh, yeah. That's probably what he's doing. Oh, wait. Actually, it didn't exist back then? Didn't it? Oh, wait, let's find out. Yeah, you find out.

He also spent... $17,000 and a half thousand dollars a month. Lost date July's 2016, this guy is. He was absolutely, yeah. He was spending $17.5,000 a month on a lavish house on a canal in Venice Beach. I love that. Dude, that was 2020. I was going on walks around there sometimes.

The Venice canals, the Venice Beach canals are dog shit. They're terrible. They're so gross. The water is stagnant. It's like, what are you going to? You're not swimming in there. You know where you could swim? The canals in Long Beach.

Canal. Venice. No, Long Beach. Way, way, way, way nicer. Nobody knows. Nobody knows about it. So I'm going to keep gatekeeping that. Just ignore what I just said.

No, just ignore it. I think it's actually lovely over there. It's like kind of serene. Venice? The canals. Oh, yeah. Well, you just never know if you're going to get stabbed turning around a random corner. Or shot by Hunter Biden.

Yeah, or shot by Hunter Biden. Sure. So he apparently borrowed money to pay off. his liabilities but he still used it for this shit there was one instance where that's what i love they're so salty because he was taking a lot of payments from friends and uh family but he like refused to spend it on his IRS payments yeah he wasn't and and none of his child support and and oh yeah so not only was he evading taxes but he was bullshitting and trying to write off a lot of this stuff as business expenses including and especially 10,000 dollars he spent at a sex club

come on we all been there put that on the business card 10,000 dollars entertaining clients i've been to a strip club twice and the very first time i didn't know what it meant i didn't know that the the thing that you do is get a lap dance you didn't know about lap dances i did not i mean i was like fucking i think i was 21 and i didn't know about lap dance i knew what a lap dance was but i didn't know that that's what you part of what you go to a strip club for is to watch the women dance and then pay for a lap dance Not me. I got to make eye contact with the other guys.

Look at me. There were a lot of guys there in sweatpants, which I was really grossed out by. Of course. So this girl comes up to me and, like, sits in my lap and says, hey, what's your name? And I was like, Ben, and she said, I'm, whatever her name was. Serena. Zendaya or something. Lendaya?

I don't remember. It was a made up name. It was a fake name. And I immediately in my head, I'm like, okay, so you're a liar. That's a made up name. That's not your real name. crystal, whatever. This is maybe the most.

And then she goes, we talk for a little bit and then... That's the most Ben thing I've ever heard. Just pissed. That's not your real name. I can't even get hard now.

Trying to get the bouncer's attention. This one's a liar. I want a different one. She just, she like gestures toward what I thought she was doing was gesturing toward the stage, but she was gesturing beyond that.

and said, do you want to dance? She said, do you want a dance? And I thought she said, do you want a dance? And so I said, like, up on stage? And she gave me the most, like, trying not to fucking scream at me. She just goes, no, I mean like a lap dance. And then I went, oh, yeah, no, I'm okay. And then she fucked off.

And so anyway, I didn't spend. 10 grand at this sex club, but I definitely humiliated myself. And then the next time when I knew what was up, a friend of mine bought me a lap dance, and I just remember thinking, well, this is a waste of $75. Years in the back on, what's your real name? Tell me about yourself. I was definitely a talker, too, because otherwise I'm like, I'm not going to, this is, that was a long time ago.

But, uh, so. So Hunter Biden's lawyers are, of course, can you guess what they're saying in their defense? You can't guess? Let me guess. What are they saying? Hunter Biden's lawyers? Yeah, what are they saying? What is part of their defense, a main, the crux of a crux of their defense?

He didn't realize how much money he had taken from the Ukrainians. No, they were saying that The prosecution is bowing to Republican pressure They're making a political And then this part blows my mind They're saying if Hunter's last name was anything other than Biden The charges would not have been brought Excuse me

I mean how many people have been fucked by tax shit I mean They're even coming after the Italians If his name was if his last name wasn't Biden He'd already be in prison Like what are you fucking talking about? thing keeping him out of jail is the fact that his name is Hunter Biden, you absolute psycho. They're also going to be saying that part of their defense is going to be that he was so

drugged out that he had no idea and he just lost track. They're going to feign like, I didn't know I had to pay my taxes. I was all fucked up on crack. The Wall Street Journal actually goes into exactly what you're saying. So they say the truth is closer to the opposite. Earlier this year, as we're saying, Mr. Badgen struck a sweetheart plea bargain with Mr. Rice that included only two Mr. Meanor tax charges, but that deal was derailed when two IRS investigators on the case went public with details of how their probe had been stymied at the Justice

Department. Gary Shapley of the IRS related stories of blocked search warrants tip-offs to Hunter Biden's appointees. Mr. Shapley told Congress that the Justice Department, its tax division, and officials in the Delaware U.S. Attorney's Office provided preferential treatment and unchecked conflicts of interest.

Well, there you have it, folks. I just was, I'm going to try that defense. man, I was drunk. I forgot to do my taxes. You can't get away. You can't do that, man. But then, so the prosecution is going to say,

even when, because he got clean, allegedly. And even when he was clean. That was part of the stipulation, dude. He had to stay clean for like two years. I think two years. Yeah. And even when he says I was clean, well, then, okay, what's your excuse then, son?

Why aren't you paying your taxes, sir? Come on. Come on, son. Where am I going to come up with that much money? That's my excuse. I spent it all on hookers. I spent it all. What do you expect me to pay my taxes with, man?

You guys saw the expenses. You got the expenses. I take out so much money. The house was 17.5 grand a month. Now you won't let me take money in consulting fees anymore. So, like, how am I supposed to get the money? Let me go, let me go work my money. Yeah, let me go consult.

But the Chinese government. He must be a hell of a consultant. I mean, maybe he's just, I bet he talks. I bet he's fun as hell. I bet he is so fun. He seems so fucking fun to party with. I mean, you've seen the pictures of like him and the Malibu House, where he's sliding down the water slide into the pool with hookers?

No, but that sounds awesome. I mean, to not do, but to watch your... And to do. No, I don't want to... I wouldn't want to... If I were his friend, I'd be very concerned for him, and I'd be like, hey, man, I'm glad you're having fun, but it's time to stop. It's time to pay the IRS.

Just the world's most boring, friend. It's time to send these ladies home. So, don't worry, ladies. I'll call you a cab, or an Uber black, at least. I know you've had your fun. You've had your fun. The party's over, Hunter. So the timing is quite sensitive for Biden, Joe Biden.

I was going to call him Biden Sr. But it's bad for Joe Biden because not only is he going to be running for re-election, but the Republicans, the House, the Republican-led House is trying to impeach him. and they're saying that they're again alleging that he benefited from Hunter's consulting work for these Ukrainian and Chinese companies and they're saying that he's complicit in using the family name to enrich himself oh also Joe Biden did definitely lie in the election during the election year when he said that Hunter never made me money he lied a lot of times on the campaign trail yeah sure but one of the big ones as it pertains to this was that

my son Hunter didn't didn't make no money and I can't do him anymore. I can't do Joe Byron. You'll get him back. He didn't make money in China. We all made money in China, Joe. Man, I was thinking I was driving by myself the other night. I was thinking I was driving by myself last night.

Won an ice cream. And I thought about Joe Biden. And I was like, man, he can just get it whenever he wants. You can too, kind of. I mean, yeah. You're basically Joe Biden. What do you mean? On that friend.

Yeah, I basically am Joe Biden. Well. You live pretty close to a nice ice cream shop. So what have we learned? Pay your taxes. Don't do crack. You really do have to pay them. It's annoying.

Yeah. It seems like for a few years you don't have to. Yeah, when you're... But they always find out. Yeah, they always find out. Oh, man. Fucking IRS. Absolute nerds.

If anybody out there who's listening or watching works for the IRS, I don't, I just, I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. There was like a three-year period where I was just like, you were too depressed to do your taxes. Yeah. Right?

And I was like... But then once you don't do it for a year, you're like, oh, I guess I don't have to do that. But then they start calling and knocking, sending mail. They really send mail. They love to send mail. Did they put a lien on your wages?

Did they garnish your wages? Now, before anything... That's the thing. They're pretty reasonable when you call, and they're like, okay, let's just do a fucking payment plan, you idiot. Do they give you zero percent interest, or do you have to pay interest?

Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Wow. I don't know if it's like that for everybody. Yeah. But I was also like, this was so long ago, and I was like, there's no money to be had. Like. You just said, I don't have any money to pay you with?

Yeah. What'd they say? They were like, literally, at times I was paying like $15 a month. Wow. Yeah. Damn, dude. You heard it here first, folks. He wasn't paying his taxes.

Now he's chugging water. Now I pay him every time. Yeah, I pay him every time. I think my account, I think my account. think my tax guy died. How do you... Because he had a stroke earlier this year. His daughter sent an email to all his clients and my dad had a stroke and I was

like, oh, shit, I'm so sorry and, you know, talk to her a little bit more. And then I, she said he was, he was like recovering and then I sent him an email a month ago just to check on him and see how he was doing it. I didn't hear back. I hope he's not dead. Better figure it out before April 15th. I kind of want to... I kind of want to

Well then I was thinking Do I want a guy Who just suffered a stroke To be doing my taxes? Ben You know what I mean? I do know what you mean? Not to discriminate

But like I kind of want somebody firing on all cylinders You know All right Let's shift gears, man Uh Speaking of

Speaking of stupid bullshit Did you ever have braces? Mm-hmm Did you like it? No Yeah, of course. Nobody likes it. Just you want to date?

Well, you heard a... You heard a Smile Direct Club, right? Yeah. But you know what I had to get? What? You know those people who had a pallet widener? I had that. Did you really?

Yeah, it on the top and the bottom. And they gave your dad a key and you would have to go in and twist it? No, they gave me a key because I was capable of doing it myself. You did it yourself? Yeah, I looked in the mirror and I put the little key in. I turned it a quarter turn. night or whatever it was. Every, not every night.

Or like every couple nights. What an excruciatingly painful thing. Yeah, it sucked. It basically just stretches your fucking mouth. Yeah, it widens your mouth for you. Awful. I had it in the bottom and the top. And then at the end, to fix my overbite,

they gave me these little, neat little pistons that connected the top back and the bottom front. And it was like, it was just full of hardware. And I hadn't even kissed yet. So you can imagine, I was like, 10th grade just going,

Oh, just, I'm not going to be able to make out. There's got too much shit in my mouth. That is real deterrent. And eating pizza fucking sucked. And, you know, that's my favorite thing to do. I'm getting pizza tonight. So anyway, Smile Direct Club was a company that started in 2014. You probably saw their commercials.

They touted this business model where, oh, it's way cheaper than braces. It's way cheaper than even Invisaline, which is like the leading thing in teeth aligners. we're the leading thing in teeth aligners yeah smile direct club we're the leading thing and teeth liners well they

they were touting it for they were selling it for 1850 dollars as a faster cheaper alternative braces they IPOed they finally went public in 2019 at an 8.9 billion

valuation was their peak and they just filed for bankruptcy back in September and now they're fucking they are just whole boy it is uh it's very interesting they they settled so they had this lawsuit uh against them because they were using apparently deep in their agreement was a confidentiality agreement where if you canceled or if you wanted a refund or you had a bad experience you were

not allowed to like post about it on social media you weren't allowed to to say anything you couldn't leave a negative review, which is incredibly fucked up in any competitive. Oh my God. And they had this refund. So, yeah, that was it. They had a refund policy. So within 30 days, if you weren't satisfied, and you got

your refund, it came with this non-disclosure agreement. Like, okay, we'll give you your money back, but you're putting a gag on you. We're gagging you. Maybe they should have made extra tight Invisal lines you have to wear. To keep your mouth shut? Yeah.

Keep it wired shut. Kanye style. So on Friday, just this last week, they shut down their website. They said on their website that they're shutting down operations immediately. And what remains is now just this FAQ. And it's very shitty. What about the poor bastard who's like halfway through to a nice smile? What's he going to do?

Oh, I'm glad you asked. They have this FAQ. I placed an order for Smile Direct Club Aligners, but I have not yet received my aligners. What should I do? And they say, unfortunately, aligning treatment is no longer available. All orders that have yet to be shipped have been canceled and you will not receive your aligners. Should I continue to conduct my... They basically say, hey, you're fucked if you've been using us, if you're midway through, if you're anywhere at this stage, good luck,

go find a dentist. But then if you are on their existing payment plan, do I need to keep paying for my aligners? Yes, you are expected to continue to continue to to make all monthly payments until the payment has been made in full. And then, okay, well, if I'm gonna keep paying, is the lifetime guarantee

still in place? No. Effective immediately, the lifetime smile guarantee no longer exists. That's what's so funny about these, like, all these companies sprung up out of like this insane

low interest environment. All these fucking tech companies were disrupting every fucking space, like cars, teeth, beds, whatever. Everything. And they like, offer you

everything you could ever want, a fucking lifetime guarantee, it's cheaper, it's better, it's blah, blah, blah. But then they all just go fucking belly up and you're like, well, what the fuck did I just what just happened? My head spinning here, I invested in this thing. It's all such bullshit.

Yeah, and Bird was another one. Bird just went, bird just, I think they're valued $7 million. Which is insane. Yeah. They're valued less than like the, the house the guy bought

with his fucking huge valuation. I think he's literally got like a $20 million house. I'm a fucking moron. I should have made a company and capitalized on those zero percent interest rates and just borrowed money and put together some fucking pitch deck. The guy, the Nicola, you remember Nicola, the hydrogen powered trucks?

Yeah. That guy, I think, is about to get a sentence. He's about to get sentenced to like years in prison or something. Yeah, they should lock up all these dudes. Like, Elon Musk just got away. He got away with murder. just lying and lying and kicking the can until finally the at least some things

come to fruition enough to keep the company going and avoid bankruptcy. Not old Trevor Milton from Nicola. I mean, that's the whole like Theranos very easily could have pulled off like a Elon Musk thing. What's his name? The stinky boy with the hair.

The stinky boy with the hair. The Bitcoin boy. Sam Butman fraud. Sam butman fraud. If he had just, if he had just, if he had just been able to hold out a few months longer, this recovery in crypto would have saved him, and he would have been totally fine.

No, because he still defrauded people and used their money illegally and had like horrible election. A big part of it was that they were losing money on their Bitcoin on their various crypto positions and had to use other monies to... I suppose, yeah, he could have replaced it without people knowing and stuff, but... Yeah. But he's still... Yeah.

So he's probably just in prison going, fuck. But he might have been on the line for a lot of, like, election law stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Well, let's see. The other news, Panera bread's got that lemonade. You heard about the penitreact. We should have drank one.

No. Honestly, when I... No. It's so much caffeine. I know. I honestly couldn't believe it when I was reading it. So the charged lemonade has more caffeine in its large size than a 12-ounce red bull and a 16-ounce monster energy drink combined that's fucking so it what were they thinking yeah i don't know i i mean

honestly i you want to know what i bet they were thinking i bet they were thinking hey we're gonna put out of sales are down sales are slumping let's kill a guy no let's let's let's put out let's make a product that's not that deadly but it'll be deadly to to the the most vulnerable among us And when that news starts to hit, everybody's, everybody is so, what is that word? They're so disconnected from. Well, I'm surprised. Are people doing a charged lemonade challenge yet? Oh, people on TikTok are like, I mean, everybody's made it a joke.

Like, I got to go try the, they're calling it the death lemonade. I couldn't handle it. So they're all, I'm assuming that people are going to try it. I think my heart would explode. Because Panera isn't, they're not discontinuing. No, they're saying, they're digging in. They're saying, actually, it's really good. And if you can't handle it, that's your problem.

We express our deep sympathy for Mr. Brown's family. But based on our investigation, we believe his unfortunate passing was not caused by one of the company's products. We view this lawsuit, which was filed by the same law firm as a previous claim, to be equally without merit. I mean, so this poor guy, his name was Dennis Brown. He was 46, and he died in October after suffering a cardiac event while walking home from a Panera bread in Florida. in Fleming Island, Florida? Couldn't have been the Red Bull and Monster Energy drink. He basically chugged.

Yeah, no kidding. So the lawsuit says that Panera Bread knew or should have known that the drink could injure children, pregnant and breastfeeding women and people sensitive to caffeine. But so the company did, in response, enhance their existing caffeine disclosure on their website and the app and in the restaurant. So now when you go, it'll say just like how many milligrams of caffeine are in each size.

But I wouldn't know what the fuck that even means. That's the thing, like, they give a thing, they say, so a regular charge lemonade, the regular size has 260 milligrams. I would have no idea what, how many you're allowed to have. Yeah, what is a cup of coffee have? The large size has 390 milligrams. And then, so the FDA says that most healthy adults can safely consume up to 400,000. milligrams of caffeine per day. So the safe limit is 400. A large has 390. All right. So they're pushing it to the limit, man.

I mean, you got to tell people like, hey, you can have one of these and you're at the upper limit. Also, it's just such a, when I think Panera bread, I don't think of going there for a charged lemonade, you know? What do you think? Going there for a bad sandwich. I think of like hotel or I think of hospital cafeteria food. It's pretty bad. Yeah, that's what panera bread is it's hospital cafeteria food i haven't been in years to a hospital cafeteria dude you got to go uh i don't remember my last it's free health care you ask doctors questions hey i'm you know my wife's up there giving birth and uh hey you while i'm here you can do you have to pay for the food in the cafeteria yeah of course i don't know usually the cafeteria is

unaffiliated i don't know i keep doing this my man's been on so good yo hang loose uh the the the the Cafeteria is unaffiliated with the hospital, usually. That's why when people shit on the food, it's like, don't shit on, it's not the hospital's fault. It's the company that runs the cafeteria, dude. Well, it is the hospital's fault. They could contract with a better cafeteria. Yeah, but, come on, we live in a capitalistic society.

Get a Panera in here. Get everyone hooked on charged lemonade. Well, so this poor, this poor guy. Holy shit. What? So, he, on October 9th, he ordered the charged lemonade and had two refills before walking home. Jeez, dude.

And they said that he... So then during the walk he suffered a cardiac event was found unresponsive on a sidewalk. He already had high blood pressure, a developmental delay, ADHD, and a chromosomal disorder that caused a mild intellectual disability and blurry vision.

So it sounds like he was the exact kind of person who shouldn't be drinking charged lemonade and probably didn't have the wherewithal to see if any, the disclaimers about how much caffeine was in it. Even if you did, that's such a heavy lift.

I would have no idea what you're talking about. If you told me how many milligrams, something, I'd be like great. If I saw 400, I think, oh, so this is like two cups of coffee. Because I think in my brain, one cup of coffee has 100 or 200 million, but I think it's closer to 90. They say healthy adults can safely consume up to 400 milligrams of caffeine per day or about four or five cups of regular coffee, depending on the brand of roast. So probably about 100.

Yeah. Dang, dude. Remember that kid? There was a kid a few years ago who died from drinking, like, monster, a couple, four locoes or something like that? Yeah, four locoes used to be, there was a brief moment in time

when they were like super caffeinated and super alcoholic, and then people died and they're like, all right, we got to reel that back. And now they've, they're like, the kind of fake version. That's fucking wild, man. I mean, I don't know how this company can just,

the reason that they're not pulling it is because they are seeing it now as an opportunity. Like, people are going to want to try this lemonade. There's no way, dude. Absolutely. Why else would they not pull it? Or at least stop putting the fucking caffeine in it. Because they know it's an opportunity here to sell more lemonade.

And more sandwiches. Shitty sandwiches and soup. I imagine they definitely don't want to admit fault and be like, our bad. We didn't mean to fucking supercharge these. Well, not even that, but just, hey, to prevent something like a tragedy like this from happening again. True. We're just pulling it just to be cautious. Yeah. Just to be cautious. Or no more free refills on the charge lemonade.

Maybe take the foot off the gas a little bit Once again I just don't understand why they would need Such a product Like Charged Lemonade Like that sounds so aggressive It sounds like something Monster Energy would do

Charged You know Radioactive Fucking charged ass That's what's up next Radioactive Lemonade CBD hot dog That's my friend

Xavier's invention a CBD hot dog. Dude, the CBD stuff is... Oh, I'm so glad that that's over. What? CBD shit, yeah. Not anywhere anymore. I use it like literally every day on my arm.

Yeah, but I mean, it's not... It's not everywhere you go. Like, try the new... It deserved to be. Like, I cannot believe they kept... CBD from us? And the marijuana products. Like, the amount of people I know who are, like,

getting help from CBD and... All right. It's crazy. My friend's got a bad back and he was like, dude, I literally tried everything. thing, and then they live in Maryland, and now that they can get CBD products, he's like, I live

a different life. Is he rubbing it on? Yeah. Huh. Yeah, all CBD does to me is make me real sleepy. Well, yeah, you don't have to take the pills or smoke it. Yeah, man, maybe I should try rubbing it on. Ew, he's pointing to his cock.

No, I'm not. What are you going to rub it on? I don't know. Why'd you go like this? Man, I was looking at my hands, and I was like, rub it on. I was like, don't I have some aches somewhere? Do you?

I think I got like some achy parts of me that I could use some CBD on, I guess. No, I guess, no, just my dandruff, because my dandruff is back full force. Rub it right in your hair. Really? No. Oh. Shit. You don't have one achy part of your body?

No. That's incredible. Right now, no. But like when I slipped and fell really hard on my stairs a couple weeks ago, yeah, my ass was killing me. Have you recovered? yeah fully I'm fully recovered I even went on a run

like last week I gotta go on a run again fuck it seems like something you gotta do all the time yeah that's what sucks about exercise that's a small talk

I make in the gym usually is like I'm near someone I just like go man it sure sucks we gotta do this for the rest of our lives huh

and what it always gets a laugh always like yeah I don't know if I'd call that a laugh it's a chuckle that's a bit of a I'm actually doing so no no it's not

not they're they're definitely acknowledging me sure yeah yeah but maybe not with a laugh no it's not a full-on laugh damn well speaking of caffeine that's me truly gritting through my teeth and being polite uh yeah fuck you that's what i would say well macdonald's got that coffee shop now they're opening a coffee shop you hear about this yeah they're gonna they're gonna they're gonna They're going to fuck with Starbucks. Yeah. They got the Mc... I've never had McDonald's coffee, but apparently it's really good.

I don't believe that. That it's really good or that I've never had it. Is it called Cosmix? Cosmix. Stupid. Yeah, it's a weird... It's a weird... It's a weird retro bullshit.

Yeah. It looks like you woke up in a alternate universe where things are just different. Like random things are different. And you're like, oh, let's go to the McDonald's and people go, what? Oh, the burger place with the golden arches? You mean Cosmix? You hit your head pretty hard there, pal. Yeah.

What year is it? It's 2015, I don't know. But yeah, it's drive-thru only. I kind of like the branding, but it's with that weird purple and gold. Yeah, but you know it's going to be disgusting in there in two months. I mean, every McDonald's is disgusting, except for like the one in Calabasas. Or if you go to, like, other countries? When we were in Japan, people were like,

you go to try Japanese McDonald's. The food is actually good. The food is not good. It sucks. Did they have a mix sushi? No. But they're like, people can like sit in there and relax and have a meal.

In an actual, in the McDonald's. Yeah. I was like, this food sucks, but it's extremely pleasant, didn't you? Yeah, yeah. I think, well, when's the last time you went to a McDonald's, dude?

I don't know. I think it's probably still fine. No, no. one sits in a McDonald's? When's the last time you sat in a McDonald's? Honestly, I don't know. Probably when I was under 10.

I know. Which is crazy. Now they all have like awful plastic furniture and they're like, they want you out as quickly as possible. Well, that means that when we do this video where I eat McDonald's, I've got to not just do the drive-thru, I've got to go in the McDonald's.

You've got to sit there. Yeah, we're going in every restaurant's. Fuck. How are each? They're tragic. You're going to see. Oh, man. Yeah.

I'm going to be, I'm going to wear a special pair of pants that I can just toss on the washer when I get home. Why? Because, you know, it's like, I don't, I don't want to be. You're not going to get in the playbubes? Eat it in the play place. But they just, did you hear about how they opened the, the Krispy Cream in Paris? Croc got boot.

No, I didn't. You did? I mean, what? The Parisians. of it? They're going bananas. This one I didn't know is that like, apparently everyone loves American bullshit. And it's like, I thought, I thought French people would be like above it.

Especially French people. I know. They like fucking camped out in front of the crispy cream to get like fresh donuts. Get a life. Truly. These people have the best pastries in the world. They're, they're getting. Yeah, but they're not getting slapped over the nuts with, with sugar.

Well, that's the thing. We're like exporting this awful. Yeah. Fucking. I remember the first. time I had a Krispy Kreme. So do I. My family.

I picked it right off the line. We waited in line at the drive-thru at our local Krispy Kreme for like two hours. It gripped Southern California. It gripped the nation. And I remember trying one for the first time, and it made my head tingle. That's how sugary they are. Yeah. It made my head, like, I remember just kind of going, like, it was like vibrating.

A lot. Oh, man. And did you get it warm off the line? I don't remember. I just remember it was fucking unreal. Their sprinkled donuts are shit. Terrible. Because they don't do cake donuts.

They only do the, whatever the other, whatever the opposite of cake donut is. What is the opposite? Glazed? Yeah, I do. Old-fashioned? No. It's like cake or. Man, though.

That name, though, crispy cream. I mean, they nailed it. Does, give me... You can taste it when you say it. Yeah. Give me two... There exists no two other words that you could put together that would make me want to eat a donut more than crispy cream.

Duncan Donuts. Nope. Apple cider. Oh, you're from fucking California. Apple cider donuts? Apple cider donuts are the best donut. When I think apple cider, I think stinky. Why?

Apple cider vinegar, of course. Stinky. Have you ever had an apple cider donut? What do you think? Based on what I've just said. No. I wish I could get you these donuts. They're fucking incredible.

You know what else is overblown? You can only get them on the East Coast. What is it? Voodoo donuts? You've never heard of voodoo donuts? No. They're based out of Portland, Oregon, and they're like, they were the first to put... There's going to be like six guys commenting like,

fuck you, Ben. Well, no, no, because... Voodoo is an institution. Voodoo is over. now because now they're like you can buy them at ralphs or something but it used to be one location and they they revolutionized the donut game revolutionized they put like cereal and shit on donuts that sucks yeah but that's what they did and people loved it people ate it up and there was always a line up there in portland at the voodoo donut shrek donut covered in orio dirt

is that real shrek donut covered an orio dirt damn man that makes me want to i do anything anything Oreo. I had one of those adult moments the other day. Speaking of just being able to buy whatever you want, like, what was I saying? What were we saying? Hunter Biden could just buy. Joe, Joe Biden could buy ice cream. Yeah, yeah. Which you can totally do. I was driving home a couple months ago and I thought, ah, I wish I could eat a McFlurry. And then I was like, who's stopping you? So I went to McDonald's and I got myself a McFlurry. Did it hit? It hit so good. That spoon, something about that fucked up weird. Wait, do you know what the spoon is? eating this McFlurry?

No, no, I know, but you know how it has the thing? Yeah, it's like hollow. What's it for? Sticking a straw in there? I forget. Oh, you literally scratched your head first before going, I forgot. Wait, what you... I think it's for sticking out of the machine.

What? And so it can mix it up. Oh. We both, we both immediately. What is the McFlurry, McFluffy spoon for? Yeah, it's usually. in the process of Gunned and McClory

I knew it was for something. The current spoons serve a double purpose. They're used to stir toppings into the ice cream. Oh man. I want to make Flurry so bad.

I want to fucking McFloury so bad. Well, I guess that brings us to the end of this episode. Join us in the bonus. Patreon.com

slash pay pigs pod. We're going to be doing my review of the movie Salt Burn and also my review of Godzilla. Is Pornhub making you gay? Oh yeah

We're also going to be talking about those fucking dinks I gotta show you the dink stuff Also we're gonna be examining and talking more about Matt Rife That's right everyone's handsome Squidward comedian We're gonna be talking about him Your favorite comedian Oh my he's so funny He's my favorite comedian

Yeah He just does a lot of crowd work Yeah he No but there's actually a lot more to him There is a lot more to him You should come to a show So yeah that Thanks so much for watching gang

And we'll see you next to it week. Next week? Next week.