The Ben and Emil Show - Test Episode 1

Episode Date: June 22, 2023

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And welcome to episode one of quadrillionaire headspace. No, no. Welcome to test episode one of paypigs. Of pay pigs. We've been out of email. That's us. And that's this show. I just got back for my second job that I just got as a gas station attendant, as you can see.

Really good. We've got to get a patch on you. Yeah, I got to get a patch. I couldn't tell if I should be one of those button up the top button guys because I don't love that. Yeah, I don't love it either. But I also feel like I look fucking. I would honestly undo another one. Yeah, I just feel really fat right now.

I don't know what's going on because I just, I spent the whole weekend eating candy and Cheetos. It was a bachelor party. You got the bachelor party diet. Yeah, I was at a bachelor party for an eight year old. Truly. And you guys broke up at a pinata and just. It's weird yourselves. Yes.

Oh, man. I did eat a bunch of candy. By the way, before I get into that, because that's a whole thing, we are doing this by the seat of our pants. Flying by the seat of our pants. We've got two great cameras set up, and then we've got one potato that we're recording on. And Emil did not know what that meant. He said, what does that mean a potato? And we had to explain to him that a potato.

No, no, no, no, we can't edit it out. True, we are doing this live, kind of. Our good friend Dylan Moore is sitting right here, and he's toggling the, he's toggling, yeah, there he is. He's toggling the cameras and has helped us significantly doing this. Yeah, we're testing out a whole bunch of shit. Yeah, watch this. Zoom out. Zoom out.

Zoom in. Zoom out. Zoom out. Ah, Simon says, this voice plays. I see you've gone to an eight-year-old's bachelor party recently, too. yeah because you're being you're uh you're all set with simon says you know how to do it yeah well anyway so so what was the point of that i don't know just letting everybody know that we're getting it going uh and if you got any complaints you can write a letter to fucking santa claus that's

right it to the president send him some mail yeah i think all of that was to say this is more difficult than it looks yeah but that's also what's fun It's, uh, we're doing it ourselves. Oh, it is fun. Yeah, we like this. Yeah. We actually prefer this. It's nice.

I do find it nice, but I will say there's a bit of me that's like, when did I start a fucking small business? So I got all my little tasks. Yeah, ready to go. He's been, he's been messaging me saying, we got to, we got to set up an RSS feed. We got to set up Spotify. We got to set up a Shopify. And I'm like, yeah, maybe.

there's all the tab you have to do so many little tasks i do so many little tasks i have a good omen to share with you also if you're writing in to be like hey uh because you're probably hearing this and you might be like let me reach out which a lot of you have done and say let me work for you um one important note we don't have any money so uh we can't hire you we're getting there but also i i think we're finding a workflow that that works for us I got to share with you this good omen that I had. So earlier today, folks, three days ago for you whenever this gets posted, because we're also figuring that out, when we're going to post, probably on Thursdays, and then when we, yeah, we'll

figure it out. But I had to go to Best Buy and pick up some HDMI cables. And on the way back from Best Buy, I'm driving in my truck, do to do, and I see a pigeon flying across the road and it goes right in front of my truck and usually birds know and they get out of the way I fucking hit the pigeon mid-flight it just it did you kill it I clipped it no

but it made a loud funk and I went ooh it knocked it off of its trajectory and I swear it turned and looked at me and was like good luck today fuck July I'm flying it and but then it flew it continued to fly and went I was on the freeway overpass, and it did like a hard dip down over onto the five freeway.

And I hope that it didn't get, I mean, I was going 35 miles an hour. Poor little thing probably got. That's the safe speed for pigeons, actually. Any faster. They're dead. They're toast. God damn. Well, I might have killed a pigeon.

And I think that that, to me, that's a good omen, because that's a rare thing to hit a bird mid-flight with your truck accidentally. agree with me that is a rare omen you know what it is a rare omen or a good one what did i say you said rare then then rare i think i was right yeah yeah well it is rare but i think it's also good but what were you going to say yeah also omens are rare that is true if you were getting them all the time they wouldn't be good would go there's omens everywhere they'd be ordinary true also best buy bleak plays it's changed so much since since i was a kid what happened they just have oh here's a random display. There's just three 60-inch TVs in boxes with a thing that says the price. Like, here, grab one. Just grab one right here. Right when you walk in, there's TVs here.

There's a couple here. There's some TVs here. And then just home appliances. It just feels like a strange place. I think, are you maybe looking at it with a 35-year-old's eyes? What is that supposed to mean, man? What do you mean by that? But here's the thing. I feel like we've got to explain why we're doing test episodes. Oh, yeah. Sure. Go ahead. The reason we don't have real main episodes right now.

Number one, we're trying to figure all this out. Every time we think we've got it, there's a new... Hickup. Every time we find a fix. Yeah. It opens up a new problem. Yeah, but then that's part of the fun. It's fun for us.

Yeah. We like it. We're happy. Oh, yeah. Every time it fucks up, we're happy. Yeah. But it's not fun for that. No, but it's also...

We don't want to release... an episode or record a full episode and find out oh look at that the audio is dog shit then we won't yeah well but so we're working out some kinks and we figured people are hungry for us and we said we'll we'll bring you guys along on the journey while we work out the kinks i got some worms in my mouth i'm going to chew them up and go into your mouths into your little bird mouths so we're hoping to be up and running as fast as possible yeah And as we said in the intro video, if you didn't see it yet, the welcome video on our, on our channel, because it's probably a little confusing. Back when we were at TMG Studios, we had Trillionaire Mindset, which was the main show.

And then we had after hours, which was the show that was not about finance, which was behind a paywall. And now we are working on making that main show again. and we haven't quite gotten there yet. We are still figuring out logistics. That's all I'll say. So until that happens, we are essentially making this the place for that. But there's just test episodes.

Yeah, they're just test episodes. How about this? We'll go a little long. The first hour will live on YouTube. Daddy. And then the next half hour or whatever we do, we'll be available for Patreon subscribers. I mean, yeah, but not this one today.

This one's just full-fledged for everybody. Why? Even after an hour? I don't know. Yeah, okay, we can do that, yeah. So we're going to get naked after an hour is what we're going to do. Yeah, we pull our penises out right at 60 minutes. Yeah, yeah.

Also, hey. Well, 60 minutes in like one second. You know what? I'm just going to tell everybody why we left TMG studios right now. Okay? Here it is. I started dating a woman named Yoko. No.

And Yoko, oh no, was her name. And she convinced me that we were better than TMG and that we should break away. And isn't that what happened with the Beatles? That's a joke. No, I think that's like also a myth. Yeah, that John Lennon was convinced to break away because of Yoko.

Either way. We will probably talk about that at some point, but who knows? Let us figure out how microphones work. Yeah, let us figure out how technology works. How to hit record on a potato. We know you guys want to know what happened. We also, we're going to figure out a way to explain everything, so we just never have to talk about it again.

Yeah, that'd be nice. And never get a DM about it again. Yeah, yeah. And never get a comment about it again. And then we can just all move on and we can do stuff we do, like pull our penises out at 60 minutes and one second. And to those random young men who DM us and ask us, to specifically go out of our way

to explain to them personally what happened. Oh, those are my favorite actually. Yeah, we're getting around to it. Don't worry. We'll reply. We'll respond and let you know. Those are my favorite. Yo, King, let me know what happened.

I want to talk about it with you. Oh, shit, okay. Damn, let me stop what I was doing. Bryce wants to know. But I also understand, hey, you never know. You might get a bit of mood where they're like, you know what? Fuck it, I'll tell you.

Not right now. also let us know if you can hear all the background noise here in I just heard a police helicopter go by because we're not saying where my fucking house is located please is a big place let's not do that okay then bleep then please Dylan bleep the city that I just mentioned we're in we're coming to you to you two live from sunny Monrovia California

I mean you don't need to fucking zoom in at all for you know yeah i mean if someone can figure out where you live if someone can figure out where you live they deserve to that's not don't say that that's actually not true some guys watching from prison it's totally fun how they don't have the internet in prison man they do no they don't it's smuggled in i guess they do they have ticot i've seen prisoners do ticot and they they even have their own hashtag it's like prison talk that's what we should do what prison go to prison try to sell um try to sell our new show to prison networks. Are prison networks a thing?

They exist. The prison only network? I don't know. Jesus Christ. But think about, talk about a captive audience. Yeah, wow. Yeah, I don't know if I could, I think a lot of prisoners would have a lot of problems with me.

Maybe not. You kind of have their uniform. They don't wear stripes anymore. They just wear orange. Yeah. So, yeah, I was in, I was at a bachelor party this weekend and had a great time and ate a lot of, um, so if I look like shit, it's because I feel like shit. Because I didn't shower the whole damn weekend. Why?

Because, I mean, who has time? Surely there was, it's how long, you're out there and you're, you, yeah, I got a little chocolate on my shirt when I was out there. And I thought, I should change. But then for, you know it, it's tomorrow. and you haven't changed and you're like, well, I kind of like that little stane. What was going on at this?

We were taking... Did you guys not hit the town? Yeah, we did. And you didn't shower? No. Well, I guess it's fine. We hit the town on the first night. There's a bunch of campers and...

Yeah. Hikers and climbers out there, so... We went to... There's a place called Pappy and Harriet's. Oh, yeah. And we went there and Modis Yahoo was playing. That sucks. It does suck.

Because sometimes they have really good bands. Yeah, Montageyahu wasn't one of them. And there was an opener band going on, and we were... Also a Jewish gentleman? No, it's some like late 90s, early 2000s, 311 kind of white hip hop rock thing. Butt rock? Yeah, butt rock. Nice.

Oh, God. What a great, yeah. So we ended up leaving and going to another place that was awesome. Also, Phil, if you're watching, that's not a dig on 311. We love 311. Yeah, sure. Wasn't there a thing that 311 was a white, white supremacist ban because 311 the 11th letter is k and it's k kkk something like that i don't

believe it i don't buy it but uh yeah did some um did some mushrooms and that was nice and desert people are very interesting what i'll say saw a lot of bumper stickers that said go back to la i mean i can empathize with i mean how much but their their local economy thrives on the tourism that we bring. Does it? I mean, there's only so many wide-brimmed hats and turquoise jewelry you can buy. You're going there and you're buying Cheetos from the vons there. You're buying a big bag of peanut M&Ms, Starburst.

But it probably feels like shit. You got guys, I don't know. I empathize. Yeah, I guess I empathize too. And especially when you're staying in an Airbnb and you're surrounded by other Airbnbs and you know that they're all doing the same thing. And it's just, oh, there's another fucking Airbnb house. It just feels like shit.

I hate Airbnbs. I hate them. You pay $500 for a cleaning fee, but then you've got to do all the cleaning yourself. Otherwise, they'll leave you a bad review or some shit. Okay, so you took the mushrooms. So, yeah. Grandpa's here. Yeah.

And one of the, one of the, one of the boys in the group got, got a little too drunk. He was drinking a bottle of Mezcal to himself. And nobody knew until he was saying, hey, somebody helped me with this thing. Because I'm almost done. Jesus. And then I ended up helping. And it was, I just, yeah. I think at that point, just let him finish it.

No, that wouldn't have been a good idea. It would not have been a good idea. but we didn't we were hoping to see some UFOs or something didn't see anything like that you were hoping to see UFOs course we're in the desert we're on the psychedelics man oh sure yeah but so maybe some not real UFOs no imagined UFOs yeah any humst I oh shit there was something else I was going to tell you about I told you about the pigeon that I hit you said you had all these oh you said you had all these bachelor party things were we that that was basically it you're tired and you're tired

desert people don't like us I went I was I was taken on a date can I say one controversial thing before we live on from the desert yeah what about it what do you want to say

I feel like people aren't going to like this but Joshua Tree kind of sucks as far as national parks go yeah I mean it's hot I mean and it's just like it's just flat I mean there's some fucking rocks yeah I don't understand people who go out there to climb

people love it yeah people do love oh no no the climbing's good i've climbed there yeah but it's so hot what do you oh well we went in the winter i usually go in the winter all right i mean i'm sure people go in the summer too but fuck that yeah joshua tree is kind of um so to all those locals out there you can keep it keep it see if i come back i will i probably will but yeah so the other the other fun thing i wanted to share with you that i probably would have told talked about on the other show we still had it but we don't is uh i was taken on a date by a woman a real woman yeah yeah same one last week one yeah same same woman that talk about that what do you mean sounds like it's been a while what do you mean i don't know you guys might have to have like a

conversation about like what we are yeah probably at some point sure it's been like a month and a half do you want to practice on me yeah sure okay so who am i you or her Um, who do you want to be? Well, I guess it would make more sense for me to be her because yeah, you're you. Okay. So it wouldn't make sense for practicing to be her. Yeah. I don't want to say, I don't want to say her name.

I don't want to blow anything up. You can call me. Henrietta. What? Why do you think that? What the fuck? What do you want me to call you? Amelia.

No. No, that's weird. We know why that's weird. Emily. Emily? That's my niece's name. Can we not? I feel like it's going to be hard to find a woman's name that you don't have a

It's not that I don't know every woman dude Jessica I know a Jessica so that's fun but that's fine okay Wait what Let me think about what I mean I haven't even thought about what I'm going to say Well okay Okay I think I would keep it very simple and just say hey wait are you broaching

subject or has she uh you mean so what is the subject here exactly exclusivity first of all it's implied because it's pretty obvious that i'm not talking to anybody else oh no you shouldn't do that what implied implied exclusivity yeah okay that's all right okay so i'm jessica yeah hey you look nice thanks i don't say he's so nervous i think i just i think i'm just going to say hey I like you you like me no no but this situation hasn't even been broached yet yes right okay now I feel nervous I'm saying you're acting so weird today yeah okay well I like you a lot right and I I just no no but you have to be prepared for her saying it so I have to broach it yeah okay say it then Jessica well I'm not gonna just come out and say it okay yeah but okay

now you're making me so nervous for this because I'm seeing her after this Okay, what has to happen is You have to notice that I'm acting weird Okay And then you have to ask me what's that You seem different Jessica, you're acting weird Yeah, oh wait, but I don't want to be accusatory with it

God damn it, man, you're killing my confidence that I otherwise have Okay, hey Jessica, you seem weird You seem different what's going on nothing okay are you mad listen i think i'm just going to say uh hey um i don't know what i'm going to say just hey i'm not seeing anybody else just so you know and she'll probably say no yeah i'm not seeing anybody else you have to let me say it okay say it then no it's just that okay fine you tell me that you're not seeing anybody else i like you a lot and i don't

want to, I don't want to see anybody else right now. Oh, that's, I think that we should, uh, that sucks because I'm actually seeing so many people right now. Oh. Oh. Well, that's, that's okay. And I'm not going to stop. Well, shit. Huh. Um, I'm not into polyamory or anything. Yeah, no, meaning, I, I, I like cheating on you. I, it feels like we're exclusive and that's why I'm doing it. You like cheating on me and you'd like to continue doing so? It feels good. Okay. I was so glad that I know that this conversation isn't going to go this way where she's going to announce that she's been cheating on me,

which is also technically not something, I don't know. Anyway. Right, I haven't been cheating on you because we weren't exclusive before, but I'd like to be exclusive now so I can keep seeing other people and start cheating on you. Got it. Well, anyway, she... You know how they say, you know, you should... practice harder than you're going to play, you know what I mean?

Yeah, I really don't think that this conversation is something that needs to be practiced. I think it's just something that I'll... I think you're going to ace it now that you went through that. Of course. Now that we practiced? I think you were probably going to fuck it up before. Great. Well, she took me on a date last week, and it was a wonderful first time thing that I've never experienced, which was the someone else planning it and not even telling me that they're

planning it. You've never experienced someone planning a date? Nope. damn i know bleak right i think a couple relationships ago my my girlfriend but like like like a full on like hey thursday i'm taking you to this boom i got even like a small one never like i'm taking you to dinner um i think the dinner yeah probably dinner but even then i really because it felt distinct and it felt unique and it felt like whoa I've never had this before this fucking rocks

where I didn't have to plan a single thing I can't believe this revelation is coming out in a test episode yeah well yeah who cares nobody's watching anyway all that's to say I had a lovely time we went and saw Ringo Richard Starkey

Ringo go ahead star yes the drummer from the Beatles at the Greek theater and holy fuck okay so here's

here's a great example of something that we're gonna have to figure out I have footage we don't have to figure out how to play the Greek I'm sorry but we are not gonna have to figure that out

no no I have footage of Ringo performing that I would like to show you but also show no that's gonna be a mess no but no I don't want to do that yeah okay well so how would I do it just show

Emil and then send it to you and then you'll put it up there okay so the thing about wringo is he's a tiny wait we have this capability yes huge this is sick so we don't even need test episodes yeah you're right we should call this something else Ben's big date so test episode one imprint that's Ben's big date so he's he's a tiny little guy and uh let me see is that why the Beatles used to make fun of him they did that he used to say, oh, here comes octopus's little garden. Octopus's little garden?

Well, so he's a tiny little guy, and watching him perform, it was like watching someone do karaoke. Is that a mean thing? It's not mean, but it was just funny because he's... He's just up there, not even with a mic stand, just holding a mic. Does he not do anything? No. Well, he did a couple songs on the drums, but... He's standing there just singing and just shifting his weight back and forth.

That's what it's like. That's what it was like, Harold. Oops. So this is. Oh, that's kind of brutal. It's very cute, you guys. Well, you'll have pulled it up and watched it. Was the crowd into it?

Oh, yeah. And he was, I mean, he was great. And the whole band was all boomers, right? It was, it was boomers. and then it was it was me and Jessica. No, there were a lot of young folks there, young people. But we had a fucking great time.

I had had such a bad day. That was our last day. That was our last day recording on Thursday. Why'd you have a bad day? You were with me. The parts with you were so good. Nice. Honey, they were so good.

They were so nice. But, yeah. Oh, I guess that was a fairly, the past few weeks were. pretty depressing in general. Yeah. Right. We're going to save it for another episode, but Emil, pray tell.

Why was, why were the last few weeks depressing in general? It just was a bummer. I mean, yeah, I don't know. I guess we can talk about it another time, but like, there was something about... Wait, folks, this, that's the potato that has stopped working. Wait, but so does this mean that the solve is not solved? Well, he's also going to get a better... He's going to bring a better camera for us.

But it's going to work on the non-potatos? Yeah, those haven't been an issue. But the potato just done and quit. Is it better now, I wonder? There you are. There we are. Well, this is fun. This is, see, this is what people like.

No, we like this. I like this. Genuinely, I do. I think that people like conflict. Yeah. See, if we set the tone, we got to set the bar low. see there we go i don't i mean it well let's not you know let's not put the bar on the ground no god i still i have so much sodium in my fucking sodium and sugar in my system are we recording

again yes okay no we we we said my whole name yeah well it's dillan's we we shoulder all the blame for everything that happens for these until we can confidently say these are no longer test episodes because once you guys see an episode that's not titled test episode. You're going to be blown away. Not only that, it means there are people we are fucking screaming at. Yeah. Oh yeah.

We are mistreating our people. No, I won't mean that. Wait, wait. How long have we been recording then? That first thing was, I think that thing shuts off at 29 minutes. Ah, wow. Okay, so you were saying that you were depressed.

Yeah. you were calling me crying every single day all right relax everyone knows i don't cry never have probably won't um i cry i cry yeah no it's uh well i mean we can explain more i think everyone knows why i mean we weren't like stoked that the show was ending and it was a a lot of moving pieces were moving constantly and a lot of people we had to talk to and talk to and email and i think i was simultaneously sad and maybe a little bit depressed that the show was coming to an end and then anxious about the new start yeah and yeah it wasn't like so it was probably like a month of going through that and it wasn't until like halfway in that

I realized I was depressed you know what I mean yeah I'm a pretty clean person neat and oh we were saying on the way over to the studio that both of us have barely gotten out of the house right yeah wasn't leaving my, it was kind of like movie depressed. It was, I have a mail slot on my front door and there was just, there was just like a pile of mail in front of the door. I was like, dude, what are you doing? But, yeah. And then, I don't know, there was a bit of a release maybe when the last episode came out

and we announced this. Because this weekend was the first time I, I was out with friends and everyone was like, where the fuck have you been? I'm like, just at home watching this Chinese. TV show that I'm ripping. Luckily, they're doing 30 episode seasons. What is this? Did we talk about this already?

Yeah, I told you in one of the, I'm watching the Chinese adaptation of the three body problem. Oh, that's right. Yeah, you did tell me. You did tell me. Honestly, I found it. Like, truly, when I just couldn't off

to get off the couch, I was just like on, I don't know. It must have been the Reddit or something. And they were like, the Chinese adaptation, adaptation is pretty good. Okay. And it's 30 episodes. And I was like,

that's a good thing to do right now. Watch these Chinese people? Well, they're doing the Netflix one, which honestly, I don't know how they're going to do it. The three body... The Chinese are pretty good at figuring out problems. The three body problem is by a Chinese author,

and the whole thing is so Chinese. And so when you're watching the show... So Chinese, you guys. I mean, it just takes place to China. It does, it's like... It addresses, like, the cultural revolution, and, like... And I'm like, how the hell is never...

Netflix going to handle this. It's the guys who did fucking a Game of Thrones. Are they Chinese? No, for the Netflix one. Got it. Okay. Yeah, sure. But anyway, that's what I've been, um, yeah, my life has been Jim podcast. Who's Jim? Jim. Jim, G, Y, M. Jim. Although I did meet a guy at my gym years ago. Does Jessica know? Just Jessica know Jim? No, that you met a guy? years ago thank you and I met him at the gym because I'd been seeing him there all the time

and he did something that really stood out to me and I knew that he was doing it on purpose to make his name stick in my brain to remember when I said hey I'm Ben he went gym Jim just he said it like gym and I was like okay I am not going to forget that

and I didn't he was a little nuts which I liked. You like when you beat someone right off the bat and they're nuts. This gym was fucking, can I say it? Can I not say it? Can I just say the name of the gym? No, don't say it.

Okay. It's a gym over near the Trader Joe's that you know I go to. Yeah, I know. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So that gym was very interesting because I think historically it was a gay gym. Or maybe I'm wrong.

I remember someone. Maybe it's because when I would go, there were always a lot of gay men. Did this gym shut down? Over the pandemic? Yes. I think it was a gay gym. Oh, okay. So there we go.

I think there was a trainer there. Man, we're off on a tangent. Classic style. Am I right? Yeah, too slow. No, that sucks. There was this trainer there, this yoked guy. And I was really on like a bodybuilding kick.

I was eating a lot and trying to just get stronger and I'd be in there at 7 in the morning and I remember like squatting really heavy or something and this trainer is next to me with one of his clients and he's counting

reps for the guy and I'm not kidding this is how he counted reps. Okay and one no way two three sing songy like that

and I could I was like his trainer was the fucking count I could I almost crushed myself under the weights and I had to put it back and then I just had to get used to it that that's that's how this gentleman five six even if my trainer was so good I would leave for that again I don't have to put up with this shit yeah I would just say hey man can we stop yeah but no so my life is consisted of going to the gym yeah what the we were talking about the depression going to the gym going to the studio to record and in dating jessica which has been a nice respite from all of this stress yeah going to the studio to record which is that that was a nice um no no i'm talking nice yeah no i'm talking about jessica being being the respite no i know but it was funny going to the studio through all of it oh yeah so fun actually yeah not not bad it's just the drive there sucks so many bumps sure i just keep hitting all the fucking bumps did you feel a release after the last one came out oh yeah i nodded in the bathroom no come on no i didn't i would never uh yeah i felt i felt

relief i guess just okay i don't know if it was the because i think we did it simultaneously we simultaneous okay just sorry go on no we did not release at the same time oh right right right okay got it no i think we i think we announced pay pigs and around the the same time that the last trillion our mindset came out. So I think it was simultaneously like people were saying nice things. I can't wait for this. And so I think, I also think that was, I don't know, I'm not good when things are just in limbo.

And I felt very much in limbo where it was like just moving fucking sideways and not forward. Yeah. Because, yeah, I don't know. Very, very stressful. Yeah, just like stuck in this. Also, really glad everybody, thank you. a fucking huge thank you to everybody who already is subscribed to this YouTube channel

or Spotify if you're listening because we do love the audio listener. We do love the audio listener. We do love the audio listener. We do love the audio listener. And again, we are on a huge mission to get more five-star ratings than we had on Trillionaire mindset.

Yeah, and also... And it's a lot. It's a lot. It's like $8,000. It's like over $8,000. We'll get there. But should we mention the thing for the Patreon that uh what's his name said we wouldn't be able to achieve or should we say that might as well if we're gonna plug this we gotta plug the patreon anyway yeah let's just no no no really because i mean it's

kind of a like fuck you for saying that but also you know prove them wrong i'm just not ready to okay all right all right anyway all that's to say is uh if you haven't already and if you're able to and willing please sign up at the patreon patreon patreon.com slash pay pigs pot yes that is the best thing to do we are now we were not able to take our YouTube channel and RSS feeds so we have to start over from zero and that means we can't sell ads at the time yeah I want to get some cool sponsors this time I it's infuriating to me that we can't can I tell you one thing I'm so pissed about what are you so pissed about 90 episodes not one single dick pill

that's so annoying which one would you have preferred to endorse any of them blue chew I don't care which one rhino rhinon nights or whatever hymns are kind of classy I'll do like fucking gas station dick pills I wouldn't I don't want anybody

have a heart attack on my account they give you heart attack heart attacks I mean sure they they raise your blood pressure like a fucking ton sure what was that sound that's someone in the hallway there no that's someone who figured out where you live shit that was quick

I think I've told the story that I've taken one of those pills those gas station pills I think I used to I used to do it pretty frequently not pretty not even for sex just to party just a party with a huge boner oh man but I would get a headache I used to tell me before we'd go out he'd say I just feel like my dick doesn't get hard enough

the dance far well no but I feel like we look like two guys who could hawk dick pills yeah well hymns also does the hair hair um

that'd be we'd be we'd be shoe-ins you got a great head of hair oh we say we used it oh yeah we used hymns we should do a before and after you should have seen me before I started fucking rubbing that shit in my head yeah I've been putting the shit on my face

not not hymns but propylopadol no monoxidil yeah which is rogain so let me know in the comments if you notice any progress I do need to I do need to shave

look some things will never change Ben will always be body hacking yeah I guess I yeah I guess I've got a history of shitty attempts at body hacking yeah this one might work yeah maybe it seems to be working um uh damn it what was i going to say um i was going to say about sorry i was going to say that dating has been really nice i haven't i haven't done it yeah i haven't

done it with someone that i like in a long time it's been so fucking great and i forgot how much my heart and soul doesn't need it but really likes it a lot interesting yeah it's nice to have someone that you're that you're sharing new memories and experiences with and kissing and smooching it's nice and nice to look at really nice to look at he's glowing no there are going to be so many comments that are truly devastated that you are talking this way about a woman there was someone someone left the comment saying that we both had post-sex glow which was true at least for me i don't think of i mean but i think you probably had a glow because you like someone and you just probably because you fucking played tennis like i don't emil's wife is

tennis i'm like did i specifically fuck someone that day i don't know if tennis were a woman what would it look like to you what would she look like curves in all the right places okay but for a tennis woman i don't know where that is it could be like the optimal tennis woman is seven feet tall and oh oh i mean i have a huge crush on elena rubikina okay is that a russian she was russian now she is technically kazakistani oh um she defect to there kind of i think it was just like a funding thing she was able like she didn't get the funding she needed in russia and now she plays under kazakhs and she's so fucking sick and she's like she should go to the hospital then how sick is she what's

wrong with her. Do you have tennis lung? Just finish. But she's great, like, she's very... Is she grunt? Not a huge amount. And, uh, but I love her.

She's got the greatest, like, legs. No, mental. Oh. She's very, she doesn't explode. I mean, that's, so much of it is just not exploding. And even when she won, she won, she won Wimbledon.

Mm-hmm. and everyone you can look it up it's great she i don't think we're going to do that we're not going to do it but if you at home want to look it up she was going to explode no no she doesn't explode she doesn't blow up like a lot of a lot of tennis players i mean i was watching the french open and it's like you can tell there are moments where men and women they it's like oh he just lost the match he's like he's not going to come back from this yeah tizi pos is screaming at his parents in the fucking box it's like su too who tzipasi is the greek player oh yeah he's him because he is a piece of

shit for sure. Yeah. But he's Greek and if he wins if he wins a major he'd be the first Greek impression to win a major. So I'm like just do it but he's, there's no way. And now he just started dating Paula Badoza. This is this hot. He's dating Pah Satsiki is dating

Paula Badoza? Did you guys hear about this? No, this sucks. I didn't hear it. I didn't know this. Wait, Satsiki is dating who? Now this sucks. Who's that though? Who's Paula Badoza? She's this hot Spanish tennis player and now all they do is post like tennis memes TikToks and they're like just kissing and it's like, man, you're never winning a slam.

Why? Because he's just so lost in the sauce. Oh, oh. So you don't think that you can be in love and be good at what you do, huh? I think he could, but he seems specifically like very, he's lost, dude. I mean, who knows? Maybe we'll have him. Look at you.

Look at what it's done for you. Look at me. Look at how good. Look how good. Some are saying that I'm on top of my podcast. game but anyway Atlanta Reeve Kino she won Wimbledon and when the last point ended

there was just no expression everyone was like is she okay yeah maybe she hates tennis maybe she hates what she does like that jocky guy the NBA guy who just went I want to go back to my farm and play with horse I love that guy I hate this game you know I'm obsessed with that guy I did not want

you know I love that guy yeah yeah that's the attitude everyone should have no matter what your job is you should want it to end yeah so we want this show to In fact, I think we're done. I think we're done after this. I think we're just, yeah, this is one big joke. There's something to be said for no matter what your job is to still have a healthy balance. Yeah.

Get out there and kiss somebody. Well, sure. Yeah. You better get on it, dude. Get on what? Get on my level. You need someone to kiss. And it can't be me.

That's all I'm going to talk about now. I'm going to be the uncle. You are a wife guy. Let's, how do you mean? I am a wife guy. I prefer to be with wife. Well, yeah, but then when you get one, you become wife guy. Well, which is fine.

I think, how do you not become wife guy? Well, and also when you have a wife, you got to be, of course, I'm going to be like, man, my wife's awesome. Look at what my wife just did. Look at this popsicle stick how she made me. Penn's dating a kindergartner. Yeah, I'm doing a kidney. Gardner.

Look at this macaroni necklace. I went to the eight-year-olds. How am I not going to be a wife guy when I'm wearing a macaroni necklace? Yeah, no, I like being single sometimes, if the weather's nice. Why? Like during the summertime, you get out and you go to the beach and you do a bunch of stuff. That's like the most high school shit I've ever heard. I'm actually, I just want to be single to.

I didn't say I want to. I'm just saying, I really want to hang out with the boys this summer. That's when it's the nicest to be. Why? Because you've got shit to do. guess that's the thing because otherwise it's the winner and it's like okay cool the sun's setting at 5 p.m. god it's nice in all the time it's not true look at how it's been all fucking year we had one bad year we had one bad year we had one bad year yeah what are we the we had one bad year yeah everyone knows the sun's gonna come back they took our show uh you know if you

you guys should let them know just no don't say that no don't do anything don't do anything don't do anything rash I was just going to say that after hours episodes release them command that they release release them oh that would be sick

that would be so nice because we really poured our hearts out in a lot of those episodes that is what sucks oh that's what sucks I mean a lot of things a lot of things suck

yeah but oh we're tiptoeing around it again we're tiptoeing there's broken glass all over the floor and we're just trying not to cut our little feet hey check this out look who's barefoot no oh oh no is that you're hurting no it's okay thank god this is what we in the biz call

pussy footing around it what does that even mean pussy footing it means you're being delicate did you dad ever say that when you were playing soccer or something you're pussy footing around no my dad was a very supportive guy actually you could be supportive sometimes it's a supportive pussy footing around it no he was uh he i'll tell you my dad I think I told the story once he was my little league coach one year and he fucking picked me on his team but then picked all the the kids that nobody else wanted all the read it was all the last sorry to say there were like three girls nobody else picked obviously because it's a fucking little league thing and the other coaches were like oh no picking the girls my dad picked them and um all the other kids who nobody picked

i don't know if it was like hey yeah stew you get last pick i don't know why he intentionally did that but jokes on everybody else because we made it to the championship wow and then we lost bad news bears yeah no it was truly and it there's a picture i told this story right i don't know there's a picture of my dad um so he also chose uh the only autistic child in the league yeah we had a three girl the only girls in the whole league were all on our team we had the shortest kid in the league this kid named mark who was like three feet tall for some reason it was It was notable that we had a couple lefties, including my little brother. That's a big deal.

I guess. And then we had Kenny. They're hitting freaking oppo side. We had Kenny and myself, the only normal one. I wasn't normal. Dude, playing a lefty and tennis sucks. Yeah. Well, we ended up making it, like I said, all the way to the championship game.

And we lost. Kenny was the final one up to bat. Who is that again? he was the autistic child and he hit a fly ball and i remember i just man i remember it the pitcher went up and caught it behind it like went up and he caught it like this and that was the end of the game and it was the only time i think they beat us one to nothing and it was the only time i ever cried because otherwise i knew it was just a game i never cried when i struck out or if we lost it was the only time because i was like i finally got to make it to the fucking

championship and then we lost and my mom i remember we got back in the volvo and she's like what do you want for dinner and i said taco bell we went to taco bell and i got my signature dish but did it help oh yeah man but uh we still got trophies because you know second place but here there's a photo of my dad um the la times was there it was a big story The L.A. Times came to your Little League game? Yes. Why? Because it was, we were like the suckiest team, but somehow we made it work and won.

And went all the way. Which fucking beat reporter was like, you got to let me write a story about these kids. Wow, this was almost, this was almost, this was almost, shut up. This was almost, I don't know how many years ago. I can't do the math. 17 years ago, or no, I don't, I truly don't know how to, it was June, the article came out June 19th, 1996. And the article is titled, they played with heart and proved the team to beat. Yeah. And we'll, we'll drop the, we'll drop the, the link. What did he say here? It's not that Khan didn't want a good team. He'd been coaching for a few years in the word around

the league he said was that stew's teams never win awesome what which was okay with con because he made friends with some nice parents of his players and well winning isn't everything yeah uh uh yeah his own still it's more fun to win when he assembled this year's team the pirates con wasn't overly optimistic his own two sons were on the team and don't read this boys con considered them among the least talented in the league what what the fuck you said your dad was supportive what the fuck i what the fuck he also learned he had an autistic child another boy who was hyperactive in taking riddle in another boy who was too shy to speak and a girl maybe it was just one and a girl whom he was sure no other coach would want on his team he also had the league's shortest player

at three foot six this is an insane article yeah on the other hand he had perhaps the best player in the league which meant that he also inherited the boy's 22 year old brother to help coach the team. Yeah, I remember that kid. Oh, so you guys had one we had one star player. In the movies. Yeah, we had one star player. There's always the one good kid. Yeah. Kenny, the autistic

child posed unique challenges. Are you allowed to say that? He'd run to first, run to second, and continue running into left field. I'd be yelling and his dad would say, sometimes that happens. Yeah. Wait, so this, I was right. This reporter literally marched into his editor's

office and was like, I've got a story. you got to see this this yeah it's now part of league history they even got a girl on the team we went 13 and 1 to win the championship then they won another three games before losing one to zero in monday's division championship

game and there is a picture where is it where's the fucking picture of my dad holding the kid holding Kenny up it might just be on images if I search images um no just his fucking obituary Jesus Well, we'll post the article in there

And if I can't find the photo We'll put it in there But yep And there were some movie producers Who I remember having dinner No way I remember having dinner with my dad And these movie producer guys

Who wanted to turn it into a movie And It's already been a movie Yeah, I know But they wanted to do a different fucking The Mighty Ducks That one with the goat The Big Green

Oh the soccer one Bad News Bears Yeah it's so many movies yeah well i don't know what happens in bend it like beckham but did they have an autistic kid named kenny who lost the game oh did he put that in there i i i don't know i didn't finish reading it kind of brutal yeah but anyway does kenny read the times kenny actually ended up pivoting to golf and he's really fucking good at it last i'd heard sick yeah he i think he i think he played golf for uc berkeley that's a big deal yeah it's a big deal he was a really

cool kid he was a really sweet kid they were all really cool i i'm quoted in that article i think i put my glove in the face of the short kid and i go this guy's pretty funny something like that that's your quote i said this guy's really cool or something i don't i don't fucking remember man i was i was nine or i was 10 or something but boy that was a life lesson right there sometimes you make it all the way and then you lose sometimes you make it all the way and then you lose sometimes you make it all the way sometimes you you get on TMG Studios and then you lose.

Oh, right. Yeah, I guess they can't cut it out now, huh? Oh, yeah, no, you can't edit anything. We. Are they going to get final cut on this? No. Actually, we should send it to them and be like, Is this okay?

Is this okay. Is it okay if we say the title of our show? Yeah, pay pigs. By the way, do you guys like the, let us know in the comments. on this. We're going to thrive on feedback, but also, you know, don't overdo it. Don't, don't, don't, uh, armchair quarterback produce this or just, you know, I just want to know that you like it. Well, I would also say like it's, it's good to have feedback, but at this point,

it's like, like I saw some guy posting the Reddit, which, you know, God bless you and, you know, we'll try to take that into consideration, but he was like, I hope they can get the pods out before this time in the AM so I can listen to it at work and it's like oh buddy you know you got to give you got to let us figure all this out yeah truly I mean we're trying a new technique here with with just recording live to tape that's what this is called live live to edit yeah don't tell the camera switching it's hopefully going to streamline the process also did you notice that I didn't say a disclaimer up top this time I checked in with Steve and I said hey do I have to do a Disclaimer at the top of these new episodes.

We're not going to be talking about finance for right now. And he said, yeah, buddy, you're good. You don't have to do that. I'm proud of you, sir. Because you said, do I have to? And then he said, yeah, buddy. No, I said, oh, yeah, whoops. Did I say that?

Oops. Wait, what did I say? He said, no, buddy. No, you don't. Yeah, I got it now. Unless you mentioned that you are a traitor and which I just did. Like a T-I-I-T-O-R. Yes, yeah, yeah, traded to the country.

But as long as I don't talk about, ooh, hey, I can see myself. As long as I don't mention where I trade or any stocks right now, then I don't have to mention that. Also, wait, so how long have we been going? Do we know? I don't know. Who can be sure. Well, because at some point we should, okay,

because at some point we should switch over to the Patreon people. Oh, man. Well, if we've, I mean, this can be a little bit. Yeah. Let's do a fake ad. Why not? Hey, we want to take a quick break to thank a sponsor of today's episode, a Starbucks. No, I don't want to do Starbucks.

Yeah, but I use the app. The world is your oyster and you pick the Starbucks? Okay, okay, okay. Okay, how about a PSA instead? Okay, but what are we? What are we PSA? Yeah. Hmm.

What are we public service announcing? Wearing earplugs at concerts. It's hard for me to get outboard. Okay, so this is a public service announcement, brought to you by the fucking ad council. We want you to wear earplugs to concerts and live events. See, that's exactly why. This could happen to you.

Your hearing is truly precious, and you only get one set of ears. That's it for life. Unless Mr. Beast comes in and says, I'm going to exploit you for millions of views on YouTube, you're probably shit out of luck if you've got hearing that's actually not true uh they're much like kidneys you only need one ear and tell that to my deaf uncle jeff okay oops which one was that is that the main one yeah all right wait keep keep recording is that the potato this is the potato just

went out there it is there it is look at that uh we love it though we're low budget all right so as dylan fixes that this PSA will come to a close but do i do suggest to people take it For me, someone who has hearing damage and low-level, what is that thing called? Dementia? Tonitis. Sorry. You don't want tinnitus. And I'm fortunate to only have a little bit, but it gets progressively worse the more you

damage your ears. So if you're going to concerts and shit, put in the earplugs. it makes it so much it makes the concert going experience better it cuts out the high end put it to you this way where where the ear plugs and then midway through the show take them out and see how much worse it is you're because it is so aggressively I feel like I need ear plugs right now because you're literally screaming at me you probably do and then you know people are having to try to tell you something in the middle of the show

they lean in and what do they scream in your ear that is the worst yeah that's that's part of the thing is you get hearing damage that way okay you wouldn't stare at the sun unless you were me in fucking sixth grade but that was the first attempted body hacking i was like i need to wake up i'll stare into the sun it'll perk me uh all right well so should we switch over to yeah i guess this is our first time well so that's not how the structure is going to to be going to go forward. Right. Well, that's the thing, too. I do want to, like, right now there are no, there are tiers on there. But like, they all just say it's just fully support right now. We don't, I don't want to, like, let us know what you want. What would be a good thing?

Well, I mean, I feel like I, I just don't want to, I don't want to promise things that we can't deliver. And I don't want to promise like, oh, yeah, this is the, like. Yeah, we were thinking the $5 tier has. We'll figure it out. Yeah, we'll figure it out. Right now, if you want to come. if you want to come see us in there see us in there right now if you want to come yeah so but right now if you want to come

see us in there and also support us in this fucking launch yeah tell everybody the best way is to directly just sign up for Patreon sign up for Patreon

Patreon.com slash paypix leave reviews on Spotify 5 stars oh yeah let's freaking do it Apple to... Apple to YouTube. Subscribe and hit the notification button so that you know when the shit drops.

When the shit drops. What else is there? What else is there? Tell your friends. Tell your family. He's got a question. What's your question, Dylan? Oh, no.

But we don't want to put it behind a paywall. Why? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, hey, we might do that. Yeah. Yeah, we have seen, well, we'll talk about it. Yeah. So I'm going to go pee right now and then we're going to come back and do a little extra time, man, all you people at the Patreon.

And all you people who signed up on the TMG Studios app who have yet to switch over, that's okay. Take your time. We hope you. We hope you find us. Yeah, we hope you find us. Because after this week, we're doing a thing where we're going to move the Patreon and YouTube every week. We just thought it would be funny. Move it?

Yeah. Move it where? Just different places every week. You mean like a different URL? It's going to be called different things. Yeah, next week we're going to change the name. I don't really like pay pigs. I think it kind of sucks.

We're going to change our socials. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to call it. We're going to rename it back to trillioner mindset and just deal with the, the, we're just going to get sued. Yeah, we're going to get sued. And then we'll just, you know, cease and desist it before it goes any further.

Because we just want to confuse everybody. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, I'm going to go pee and we'll be right back. Yeah. Thanks for watching, everybody. Our first test episode. Thanks for speaking with us. Thank you. We love you.