The Ben and Emil Show - Test Episode 2

Episode Date: June 29, 2023

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Uh, just, just a quick thought before we get started. No thoughts, please. I don't understand how we don't praise enough. All right. The, oh, well, first was salamalekum to everybody. But, uh, the person who is responsible for inventing the toilet seat that goes down gently. So you're no longer slamming it. I'm still, I've told you this.

What? I'm not entirely clear if it's an invention or if just some toilets are too tight and go down slowly. No, it's absolutely an invention. It's got to be. It doesn't have to be. Why? That's too, I don't know. It just too tight.

It just seems like some toilets do it and some don't. Let us know in the comments if you think that it's an invention or if it's... Well, be clear about what the invention is. Yeah, the toilet seat that goes down slowly. Some toilets, when you let go, they just slam. Yeah. And if you're like... Are you referring to the fact that mine will go down slowly?

Yeah, slowly. And try to figure out where he lives from that. It's actually not my, well, when I say mine, I mean, that are set. Yeah. And when I say that, it's because I was in charge of, I'm the taskmaster. You know, I was, I was calling up the set man and set designer. And I said, make sure you tighten it. Make sure you tighten the toilet.

Yeah. Because Ben like a nice slow. I like a nice slow decline. Yeah. Because it's not my toilet. Yeah. I wouldn't live in a dump like this. Anyway, we have some important news to address for everybody out there.

Uh, so, huh, how, okay. So, look, we know everyone's very hungry for, uh, tea and all of that, but we're not, you're not hungry for tea. You're thirsty for tea. That's actually a great call, Ben, and that's why we're partners. Yeah. Is this a hand thing? Uh, but, but we're not going to be doing any of that. We, we want to move on. We want to move on. We want to move on. They want to move on. Honestly, it sounds like a large part of our audience would like to move on as well. Most importantly, we are under a confidentiality agreement. That's most importantly.

And we can't divulge details that many of you would like to know. And I know how that feels. Not me. My wife doesn't tell me shit. So all of that is to say, yeah. we would like to move on there's not there's not anything we can do on this front anymore and it's also going to start we'd like to you know ask everyone who is very thirsty for this information and everything to drink some water to drink some water because it's you know if you're a fan of

this show if you're a fan of you know ben and mine it's going to start becoming detrimental to our show and um yeah at this point we'd just like to move forward we're you know we we were we've said it before we were sad to be leaving TMG but we are now excited about this new project we're building and yeah I don't know the the goal is to get the goal is to grow our audience and if we want you guys seven feet tall we want everybody to be as huge as possible but if for example if new people start coming in and they're like wow I like these guys, let me see what's going on on Reddit. And they go to our Reddit and they go, wow, what is this mess of conspiracy theories and

all of that. And that goes along with, you know, we do not want any, we don't want or need people lighting up comments of our show or other shows. I think what's fair to say is that we couldn't come to an agreement and that's it. We couldn't come to an agreement about how to move. there was no meaning of the minds and ergo here we are here we are at in this beautiful multi-million dollar set in production that uh that we look forward to continuing to make and given for you for y'all people right so that's it and yeah we really just want to get back

to doing our thing yeah kissing and hugging and kissing hugging all that stuff so all that to say, pardon me, there is, we're still, by the way, we're still recording on a potato. Oh, don't bring up the potato right now. And you know whose fault that is? Amazon.com. They're, they're delivery people who I give a solid pay pigs salute to. Or should it be like this? No, no, no. They sent an adapter to the wrong address and we're, we're still on. the potato so still working on that we are still working out the logistics for the main show that will be happening shortly but until then we're just going to party and we're we got a lot of topics today i got we got if you're done are you ready are you done something stuck in my

throat you were crying about having uh what do you what do you have um those things on your feet corns no long time listeners of the show no i don't cry um But so did we say it all? Did we satisfy our? I think we satisfied. Okay, good. But, yeah. But, and also, I got to throw, we've totally forgot to throw in there.

Thank you to everybody for your support in all of this. It's been really, also just to be. It's been really great. So thanks. This is probably a good time to say, too. If you're watching this, I think at this point all, the Discord is open. We'll probably have posted it on. on our socials, so you probably have already found out.

But if not, you can jump in there. And that's the thing. There are, and big shout out to Brian for helping get all that stuff set up. It's super great. And so there are a few places that are little fan-created communities that we'd like to get back to just, you know, I like it when you guys do cute memes about us.

And, you know, no more conspiracies. So we're up and running. You know where to find us. You've got the YouTube channel here. We love reading your comments. Oh, and if you're a Patreon member, you get special access to... Yeah, we're putting together the tiers, and it should be... But you get special access in the Discord.

Yeah, yeah, to a special room. We're probably going to do, I don't know, maybe like a monthly fucking movie night or something. Ben went in there this morning and said crazy shit. And then I went in and I said, Ben, what the fuck? Yeah, I said some crazy stuff. I was talking about vaccines. No, you weren't. No, I wasn't.

I wasn't. I'm just teasing for what we're going to be talking about. So that's it. We're going to be talking about vaccines. Well, we're going to be talking about RFK and we're going to be talking about Putin in the Titanic submarine. So let's dive right in, shall we? Cue the music. Dive right in to Test Episode 2.

Yeah. You know, I couldn't dive when I was in, I joined the swim team in ninth grade, and I couldn't dive, even though I grew up with a pool. Yeah, upper middle class, sue me. Actually, now it would be considered middle or lower middle. To have a pool? Well, like, just how I grew up. My dad clipped coupons all the time and was working overtime constantly to afford us a humble pool. No, I think things have gotten so bad that it would now be considered.

I think also my dad was born in 1948 and when he bought our house it was nothing it was cheap but anyway I didn't learn how to dive so I had to quit the

I lied and told the swim coach that my testicles hurt from a from a procedure that I had gotten done okay which was true I did have a procedure when I was in like seventh grade I've been having trouble swan diving

I think I'm getting scared now. When I was a kid, it was like, you know how to swan dive, right? Yeah, totally. Yeah. Okay. It's when you just go Jesus style and then put your hands together. Well, it's just the kind of, it's the arc. It's like you go up and then down. Yeah, yeah. It's like, every time now, I'm like, just do it. Jump up and then I can't do it anymore. Well, you can put your legs up? I just don't, I can dive. Like, I dove off a high dive. This is so boring. Who cares? Yeah, who cares? All right. But speaking of, can I tell them the most devastating news?

Oh, what's the most devastating news? This is a... The submarine guys died? No, that was good news. There was a kid on that thing, man. He was 19. Look. People die all the time.

We'll get into it. Okay, yeah, we'll get into it. I can't play tennis for two months. I tore my meniscus playing tennis. yeah it sucks it's actually a good thing at least you got two of them yeah it's not like i thought it was like a kidney situation but the doctor says it's actually not like that you need both i'm sorry man but no it's good i thought it was something way worse i thought i was going to have to get surgery but did you hear the the news about the Saudis oh trying to buy the ATP yeah yeah

from andrea gadensi the chair of the association of tennis professionals i kind of in your dreams right I feel like it could happen You getting to the Association of Tennis Professionals? Oh, no, the Saudis buying Oh, oh, oh, oh, do you think that that would be good or bad for the sport? I don't care.

Isn't every sport corrupt? Like every year, everyone's like, you need to read up on what FIFA's doing. It's like, I actually don't. Yeah, every World Cup, I'm like, okay, so the referees are corrupt or something? Also, the ball is weird. It's hard for me to care when my position

is usually just like a ballish pro sports anyway. I don't really give a shit. My position was usually full back. Thanks very much. But anyway, the other. So yeah, I have to stay off my knee for two months.

If you guys have any recommendations on how to pass the time. You've got so many books here. You'll be fine. I mean, on the set. The set designer did put a lot of books on. I regrettably have something bothering my eyes. So if you see me doing this.

You know what my problem is, though? What's your problem? Just one? Well, one of them. I sometimes feel like I'm a, you know how like some breeds of dogs, like a border collie, for example? Uh-huh. If it doesn't get enough exercise, it'll go nuts and they'll start chewing up all your crown molding and stuff. Yeah.

Is that you right now? I think that's just me in general. Mm-hmm. So I think I'm just worried about not being able to get the zoomies out. Just drive, man. Just go for long drives. Yeah, go for long fast drives. Man, I wish I was playing tennis.

Just putting on a track of tennis sounds. I had to... Thwump. Learn how to juggle. I could learn how to juggle. I had to text my... I had to text my tennis coach and tell him we have to take some time off. Oh, man.

I'm so sorry to hear that. Yeah. Well, man, I don't know about you, but I've been following very little this Putin and Rhegogian news. The Wagner group? Yeah, I've been taking care of tasks, man. That's my whole shit. Okay. So...

We've been, on Friday, it was one of those things where it was like, okay, is this AI or is this really happening? Right. There is a group of mercenaries. Is there a fucking bump on my eye? Can you see anything? Like here? Down here? Yeah, it's not good.

Fuck. Fuck. I knew I shouldn't have kissed that dog. Did you kiss a dog? No, I didn't kiss a dog. But I don't know. I hope it's not like pink eye. You ever see people who really let dogs lick their face?

Yes. I really don't like that. I live in Los Angeles, of course. I see it. There are a lot of things dog people do. Well, no, it's just people have been, I love dogs. Don't get it twisted. But people have gotten nuts with dogs.

Yeah, they're taking them too many places. Yes. Yeah. And now people are going, oh, I don't know you don't like dogs. It's like, I like them. I just don't want one near me when I'm eating at a restaurant. Right. They need to be at Cafe Gratitude.

I'm trying to order and I am beautiful. Jesus Christ For those of you who don't know Cafe Gratitude is a chain of for high-end vegan food Yeah yeah And all their

meals are titled things like You have to say like when you order Instead of saying Can I have the Chicken sandwich It's like the Can I have the I love my mom? No no you just say I am inspired

Jesus Christ We should I've never done it I always always one called cafe attitude and you walk up and you say fuck you bitch and it's like a great salad or something i think they have that already i feel like a dip shit yeah well they have the they have the restaurant where they treat you mean yeah ed de bevix and now there's a different one anyway you know who was treated mean is fucking this guy Wagner regosia he threatened he was pissed

off at Putin for for you know the fucking war because he's leading a group of mercenaries. Hey, get in line, right? Yeah, right? Yeah, truly. And he put out a, there was like a, this audio statement on Friday. And it was believed that he was staging a coup and going and marching on Moscow with a bunch

of his mercenary troops. And then at the last minute, he, they came to an agreement. They came to an agreement, but then he disappeared for like 36 hours. And Belarus. nearby Belarus offered him, like, safe sanctuary or whatever, political asylum. Sure. And Putin said that he promised him like, hey, yeah, you'll be okay if you go to Belarus. It's fine because the Belarusian president is a friend of Putin's, and they've come to this agreement.

Putin, just before we recorded this, put out some statements officially pre-recorded statements on Russian state media saying, that calling those guys, you know, sons of Russia and they're, he promises them that they'll be safe if they go to Belarus and they're fine to defect there if, if need be and all this shit. So it's unfolding as we, probably by the time this goes out, we're all be dead. This will probably be old news. Yeah. Oh, everything's old news. Like the submarine. You really want to talk about the submarine? I want to talk about the submarine a little bit. Because the more I think about it, the more it it fucks with my head.

And it kind of relates to another thing that just happened where a guy got sucked into an airplane engine. Did you hear about that? No. Dylan, did you hear about that? No. Fuck. I have to say that, it was one of the most fun. We haven't had a period like that on Twitter in a while.

Yeah. It was really nice. Just, you know, me and all my buds just kind of waiting for five guys to die, joking about it. Jeez, man. See, I was more on the side of. I started thinking about it in terms of this is such a... What was that? Cool.

That's sick. That's the sound that it made on the radar. Yeah. Oh, I think it was probably louder. It was a lot louder. It was like a pop and then this loud clang and then it echoed. And you could hear it clanging again. Yeah.

And you can hear their bones. No, you, so that's the thing that kind of... So first of all, I think that it was such a, it was such a scary scenario for all of us to really. imagine that we kind of collectively leaned on humor to see that's the thing I sometimes those things freak me up yeah because like for example do you remember the kid who jumped off the uh jumped off the booze cruise yes and disappeared everyone was like oh my god can you like what an idiot blah blah you probably got attacked by shoes but in my mind I was like that freaked me out because

that's something you would do every time I've been on a booze cruise boat I've jumped up are you serious? Yeah. Everyone does. Okay, folks, don't ever do that. If you're on a booze cruise, stay on the boat. But it's like, yeah, I don't know. I was, you could get sucked into the propellers. Any number of things could happen to you. Maybe I have a misunderstanding of what he was on. He was on a big, like a catamaran. Yeah, but it was nighttime in like the Bahamas. I've never done it at night, but I've gone on catamaran's and jumped off. Okay. So that freaks me out where I'm like, I would totally be in that situation. I would drink and I would jump off.

The submarine. I'm like, it doesn't freak. This is like a nightmare of their own making. Like all of them, what are you doing? I think that it's the, the, the, the, they entrusted this CEO. And it is, for me, it's, it's, it's, the hubris and the irony is, is, is just, it's a lot to kind of take in. Oh, I mean, all his quotes of like. They don't remember you for the things you did the right way. And he's acting like he was...

The rules you break. Yeah. It's like... Buddy, you don't break. No. Do you remember the... You know what rules you don't break? Those of physics. You don't break physics rules.

I remember you for the sounds of your bones breaking when the, when the pressure starts crushing them like toothpicks. That's the other thing is, did you know that it heated up to like the hotter than the surface of the sun? So not only were they instantly crushed, they were also instantly vaporized. It just, just, well, at least they didn't suffer. Truly, they did not suffer. I'm claustrophobic too, so that was the only thing where I'm,

I mean, every time I saw a picture of them in the thing, the tube, I'm like, I just, there's no, I would be like, no, I'm good. Yeah. Yeah, it's, it's something where, thank God I'm not high, or, yeah, I would trip out on that. see Mr. Beast be like, what did Mr. Beasts have to say? He's doing a video apparently where he's going to put five people in the thing and, no, I'm joking. He said

he said that, uh, he said that he was invited to go on and he was like, kind of crazy to think that I could have been on there. He was going to be on that exact. I think he declined, but he was invited to go. Can you imagine? If Mr. Bees exploded? No, no, no, no, no. Imploded. Yeah. Yeah. That's the other thing is, it's an explosion but gone the other way

right into like an infinitesimally small just kind of cool yeah it is kind of cool they became physics there was one guy who put it a really interesting way

he said and this was presuming that they were still alive he said at the bottom of the ocean there's a billionaire who would give every last dollar to trade places with you

and I'm like damn so he really wants he he wishes he was taking a shit right now huh fuck it's okay yeah you want to take it again i don't know it's just toilet humor it's just it's just that anyway there was also uh there was a guy who got sucked into a jet engine of a delta flight and he died and he didn't make it no i think i would have survived the submarine yeah yeah i'm just i don't know i just I'm just like a What are you a 16 year old

No I just I don't know Thinking that you could serve No I just think I could have Handled that It's like me when I was 13 Watching the gymnasts doing the Olympics The Parallel bars I'm like I bet I could do that

I just know that I have more I don't know I'm just built different than a billionaire Right yeah for sure Speaking of jet engines I would have brought one of those, you know, those little tools they make for when you're, when you drive off a bridge and you're, yeah, you're stuck. I would have brought one of those things to break up in the window. Yeah.

Oh, that's for sure what it worked and would not have triggered the implosion at all. That would have, yeah. I think some of them might have been harmed, but I would have got out. Yeah, you'd hit it, move out of the way, blast the billionaire in the face. Holy shit. So I went to a Dodger game on Friday, and I had a moment that you, you would be very, I don't. know if proud of me is the right word me personally yeah or just kind of a hmm that's about you so probably the latter yeah probably the latter yeah i i took it i took an edible because i thought that

it would be fun and entertaining and it was and i don't remember how the the conversation got on to this topic probably it was probably me bringing it up but um i was with uh jessica you know jessica I got it. In air quotes, yeah. And we're walking up Stadium way. Did you have the conversation?

Yeah, yeah. Did mine help? No. But we had the conversation at the game. It was very simple and very nice. At the game? Yeah. We did not practice that.

That's... It was fine. What was the outcome? Good. You have a girlfriend now? Yeah. Can you relax? I'm trying to tell a story.

I just, that's going to be the biggest, eh, from me. Some people didn't know what this is. That is the double, the... That's when you're wearing glasses, and you have those sunglasses, things on that you can flip up. Yeah, the garage open to the barn door.

And so if Ben tells me something crazy, I'm saying, hold on, I didn't quite hear you. So we're walking up, and this is how I know that... You're walking up as not... girlfriend and boyfriend. Right, totally. Crazy?

Totally, technically, legally single. I'm just trying to put the audience. I'm just trying to paint the picture for the audience. And I don't know how the conversation got to this point, but I said, I actually know a lot about playing crashes. Would you like to hear some of my favorites? And she said, sure. I just proceeded to tell her about five of my favorite playing crashes.

you were like okay i'll just hit you with top five well yeah i had the well i don't know how long the game's going to go so i guess i'll just do top five well i was i was telling her why they were interesting to me and how they are um playing crashes you know you learn something the the governmental the government bodies learn something from each one which then makes air travel more safe after so we want more crashes no no no we don't we don't we've reached a point where it feels like everybody's now going okay now it's really safe now we've known from now okay basically every crash makes everybody go oh that can happen oh dang well now we got to make a new rule so that doesn't happen again this guy got his butt sucked

into the plane what the toilet or the engine I don't know what hasn't happened yet I mean technically the guy who got sucked in, it included his ass, but we, it's funny actually, speaking of the toilet, the Airbus A380 when it first rolled out, they made the cabin too silent. It was too quiet so that you could hear like

everything in the bathroom. Oh. So they had to like make it noisier so that people had more privacy. Interesting. But anyway, so we're talking about that and I'm I'm just rattling off well, so here's why it's interesting. There was a, there was, do you know what a

jack screw is the jack screw on the tail stabilizer was stripped and da-da-da and i noticed that there's a guy who's outpacing us catching up with us and he's kind of stuck behind us and has been listening for the last like 90 seconds i can only imagine what he was thinking so i'm high and i have to acknowledge it so i turned around and i went pretty great conversation huh that we're having on the way to a baseball game and he goes hey man i you know hey you got he just said something like you got to talk about whatever. And then he passed us. And I was trying to make fun of myself. And I just said, yeah, I've got a very special brain. And he just turned around and said, we all do, man. And then you turned to Jessica and said, anyway, you want to be my girlfriend?

Fuck me. Wait, you were high too when you did it? I mean, like, not really. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, it was like the seventh inning or something. We didn't plan for that. No, but it was nice. A lot of laughs. And I even asked her at one point, I was like, do you want me to stop talking about these plane crashes? And she said, no, keep going. So I just kept giving her. Wait, you know what would have been cool?

Because it was a baseball game. What? You could have asked her to be your girlfriend on the big screen. Oh, yeah. How would that have worked? People do it all the time with engagement. You ask the, no, no, no, you just call up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Huh, that would have been funny. I should do that next time and just like do a fake. engagement just to or like make something up happy birthday it's not really my birthday or hers going to a restaurant why the fuck don't I do that more often go to a sporting event

and let them know it advanced it just I'm going to propose to my Jessica okay what wait did I did I talk about this at the I can't remember at the bachelor party what happened with the with the

newspaper ad yes but you told me privately you didn't tell the people. It's a long... It's not that long. Yeah, just tell them what happened. Yeah, I'll just give the quick version. We went to...

God damn it. Just let me... I got a special brain too. Yeah, yeah. No, we both have special brains. And it's easier to see. We were in West Texas for a bachelor party

and there was a... We were in Marfa for a bit of it and there's a... There's a newspaper called the Marfa Sentinel. And so the... And before... You want me to tell it for you? No, no, no.

Because it's funnier if you have the detail that when we were, when we stopped in Marfa before going to Big Bend National Park, we grabbed, someone grabbed a copy of the Marfa Sentinel to read. It was a very long car ride. And so we were, the person read it front to back, we were joking about all the stories in it. And then we completely forgot about it. And then one of the nights, we took mushrooms. And then when everyone was very giggly and very high, the groom grabbed me and he said, Emil, can you like take a look at what's in this newspaper? It's crazy. And it was a half-page ad. And it said, wanted for stealing, for stealing hearts and rip and farts. And then it had every

person who was on the bachelor party's full legal name. there goes the potato continue the full legal name with like a cowboy name so I was a meal the squeaky wheeled Rosa we had you know messy Jesse

and it tripped you guys all out because you were on mushrooms well yeah so I looked at I could not stop I think he wanted me to read out loud but I couldn't stop laughing it was the funniest thing I'd ever seen and yeah

those are fun little goofs and gags you can do for it's like when I bought the billboard on the Hollywood Boulevard that was a fun goof I wish I would never think to apparently it was kind of an expensive ad you took out a half page ad in the I bet it was like 500 bucks yeah but the best thing is the person reading it in the car went through the whole thing did not notice that his full name was in the ad and then we went back to marfa and every time we were in like a coffee shop or something I would see copies of the marfa sentinel And I just had to check, I'd be like, there we are. It was real.

Emile the squeaky wheel, there was a real nickname to them, the squeaky wheel? No, they were all like cowboy related. Got it. Like Xander the Philanderer, messy Jesse, bearback Mac. I can't remember them all. Bummer. What would mine be? who gives it shit

Ben they'd probably be like some fucking Jew thing because you know back in the old West they didn't have them oh I guess you would be a bit of a novelty

in the old West Ben the Banker Khan or something I can't say it Jesus Christ you know who I wanted to talk about is RFK Jr. Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

I know you tell me you want to talk to talk about him. I didn't know exactly what. Well, so there's a couple things because there is something about this man that I'm not sure if we're able to address and talk about his voice. Oh. Because he's got

like some kind of throat problem and I don't know if that's something where it's like, you can't, you can't yeah, he's got some affliction that affects his voice and it makes him sound like he's scared and about to cry all the time. okay sure he does have something going on with his I mean if can you imagine no one can say that he doesn't if if it was down I'm just imagining how debates would go

yeah with between him and Donald Trump because Donald Trump would absolutely call it out it sounds like you're about to cry Donald Trump hasn't said anything about him yet because they're not I think that I just I guess I wanted your take on RFK RFK Jr.? Yeah, because it feels like there is a ground swell behind him, underneath him, whatever. And he's on a similar

kind of Trump-ish trajectory where he's a long shot, but then becomes more and more serious. Okay. My take on him? Yeah. Because we talked about him before and just kind of knowing nothing about him, we're like,

oh, he's got kind of, it seems like... So that was very early and I didn't know anything about it. I heard whispers that he had like a weird, I had no idea about him. I assumed he was like every other Kennedy. And then, yeah, I don't know. I heard him talking about being anti-war, anti-empire,

and I was like, great stuff. Cool. And then, and that was kind of when we talked about it. I was like, I really don't, but I was like, I don't know enough about him to be like, cool or whatever. And then the more. I heard about the vaccine stuff, it was like, oh, this is going to be such a distraction. Like, it's now all that's discussed with him.

And it's just like, I don't know, I don't know how helpful it is to have a presidential campaign based on that. I also think it kind of, yeah, I don't know, people are, people seem to be released. I don't know. There seems to be a large majority, or like a large group of people who are still, aggrieved about COVID vaccines. Ah, yes. He's really tapping into that. Also, I just think it sucks that we even...

I'm not in any way, and I don't think a lot of, like, comedy podcasters are equipped to talk about vaccine stuff. I have no idea. And I don't, I don't even, like, and people are like, well, you know, read the, I'm like, no, I'm not reading a scientific study on. I think, so a couple things. I saw a video of him talking about his actual position on vaccines and he said, can I do his voice? Am I allowed?

Can I do it? Am I allowed to? Yeah, are you, he basically said, you know, don't, don't, don't, don't. Okay, all right, I won't do it. Yeah, it's a, it's a condition called like, It's like a rare thing. I don't know if it's temporary or does it go away? I don't think about it.

God damn it. Should I just play the clip? What does he say? I'll show it. I'll tell you. It's on, it's on. I also would like to say that this is our own, you know, number one, I think it's, so I saw some of the Joe Rogan stuff. Yeah.

And again, when it's like watching it, I'm like, I have no idea what. anyone's talking like rfk junior saying stuff like leaky brain and i'm like i'm not gonna i don't know what that yeah and that's the kind of stuff where i'm like dude just shut up what are you talking about so i and then i did see i mean because it was impossible to avoid joe rogan there was a virologist or or some doctor yeah calling out joe rogan for having him on and and talking about it joe rogan said i'll offer you 100 grand or a million dollars to charity and then other people started joining in and being like all up to a million whatever yeah to debate to debate this guy yeah which there was a bit of me

that's like why not if and again so these guys are like I'm not even waiting into this and it's like well then I don't know my my understanding of it is that they're both those two sides are talking about different things. One side is saying that vaccines are bad for you, period. And my understanding of what RFK has said in this clip in particular is he says... Wait, wait, play the clip. Oh, yeah, yeah, okay. Here we go. I will play the clip. And my position is not any science. My position is exactly aligned with the National Academy of Science and the Institute of Medicine. People don't know my position because people call me an anti-vaxxer, but I'm not. I'm pro-vaccine.

I had all my children vaccinated. I believe the vaccines should be tested, safety tested. People don't know. You cannot sue a company that makes vaccines that injures you, no matter how egregious the injury is, no matter how negligent that company was, no matter how toxic the ingredient. Furthermore, they're completely insulated, so there's no matter how negligence. no incentive for them to make vaccines safe. Furthermore, they're also exempt.

They're the only medicine that's exempt from safety testing. So now one of the 72 vaccines currently given to our children mandated has ever been tested against a placebo. I don't know if that's true, but I do know. But that's also not what he was saying on like, right. He was talking about how Wi-Fi is giving me a leaky brain. So. Brother, a lot of things you're giving us leaky brains. That's my, like, yeah, my, the only part that I agree with is how it's fucked up that the manufacturers just simply cannot be held accountable.

Like Pfizer and Moderna were not able to be held accountable for shit, if anything ended up going wrong. Which I think, though, has to do with like, hey, okay, governments of the world, if you're telling us to roll this shit out, we'll do it. But you got to, like, we're going to protect ourselves here. Yeah. my whole thing is just like I if he wants to talk about that kind of stuff like fine there's there's obviously a world in which you can reign in big pharma and make sure they're not shielded from all liability but he was not talking about that on that huge or maybe he was I didn't watch the whole video I don't really yeah I haven't I mean but my thing is it seems like his

whole campaign is going to be distracted with this stuff and he's going to be constantly having to talk about that rather than like you know I'd love for him to talk about he's got kind of a bad take on Medicare for all or any kind of nationalized medicine. I didn't know that. What's his bad take? That he supports it, but he knows that it'll never happen. But it's like, well, then what are you talking about? Like, everything you're talking about are things that are long shots. Yeah. Ending American Empire? Yeah. You think that's, that's more realistic than instituting some kind of socialized medicine in America or taking on big pharma it's like they're one and the same so I don't yeah I don't know he just kind of seems

a bit like he's going to be down in the mud with this like he's going to be constantly going that's not what I said about vaccines it's like yeah but what do you you know what do you think about like the student loan crisis what do you think about fucking whatever and he's not even going to be able to get to it. I also, you know, I think all of this debate over it is, you know, it's, it's all part of, I don't know how to expect, like, we did this to ourselves. Like, we've created so much non-transparency and, and protecting and supporting Big Pharma and all these things that it has now, we've gotten to a point that people feel completely isolated and alienated from, you know, like elite institutions and that they're like being lied to about

everything. And they have been lied to about so many things. So it's like, yeah, we live inside of a kind of boy who, government who cried wolf kind of thing. And now you just have this whole, yeah, I'm sure there are plenty of things that people can bring up and go like, well, what about this? And it's like, yeah, that's, that's. I can't explain that.

What breaks my heart is you can have someone who otherwise has really good ideas, but then their entire thing gets killed by a few shitty ones, where I'm like, okay, but I... I also don't even know if he has any good ideas, though, to be honest, like... But just using that as an example, if someone came forward and had 90 fucking nine good ideas, and then the one makes everybody go, no. But even his one, it's like he's got some pretty wonky ideas on American Empire, right? Have you seen him do a backflip? Check this shit out, man.

Watch this. Okay, ready? Yeah. Have you seen this? Oh, dude. For sure. For the audio listener, he's, it was slow motion and he looked very graceful. He's also jacked to the gills.

But I will say, like. By the way, I'm not like endorsing our kids. His voice is funny and he's interesting to talk about. I think even the American Empire thing is kind of bullshit when like, you know, I don't want to get into this whole thing, but he's got weird views on Israel and, you know, so it doesn't really, yeah, I don't know. Well, one thing's for sure.

He could beat Biden in a push-up, contest, he said. He has a little bit jacked. A little bit? He's a lot bit jacked. I think he might be doing steroids. Well, and a lot of, like, right-wing people are now kind of, um, doing what they do, since everything is all about picking who's on your team. And now he's a, uh, he's, he's, he's the Democrat that all the people on the right like. And he's, um, they're all talking about, don't you want your president to be able to incline bench the 135 pounds? I think it was like 115. Oh, wow. Okay. I mean, Dude, you had like two small, whatever. I'm like, hey, if you're out there benching.

He's got a nice, even tan, too. Yeah, that's one way to say it. He's clearly a Huberman head. Yeah. What's that guy's name? Andrew Huberman. Andrew Huberman. Andrew Huberman.

That guy's got to calm down. There's too much going on. Like, I think of that other guy who's in the relentless pursuit of longevity, who proudly announces that he takes 100 pills a day to stay. young. People are going to come, you know how much people love Andrew Heberman?

No, how much? Insane amounts. Yeah? Yeah, there's an entire subreddit. I mean, he's, what does he think about vaccines? He's a fucking doctor.

I have no idea. That's my thing. He probably thinks that you need to get sunlight or something before you get your vaccine or do a cold blunge. Yeah, I don't know how people have become so,

I don't know one way or the other. Like, both people could be right for all I know. fucking know a goddamn thing about a vaccine? Well, speaking of vaccines, there was a there was a drug and do my own research. Where?

Yeah. You got a fucking J-Store account for me? What the fuck? What are we doing? I don't know. I got to read scholarly articles. I don't know. On vaccines? Just to what? I don't know. I got them and my brain seems to be working fine. Which one did you get? The one

that makes you gay or autistic? Both. I mean, if you ask the guy walking behind me at Dodger Stadium the other day, he'd probably say the latter, the second one. Moderna. Yeah, yeah. But this, I got, I got, you know me, I got Astrosanica. I got the Sputnik. They didn't, Astrozenica didn't have one, did they?

Yeah, they did. Really? Interesting. No, I didn't. Well, one of the good things that can happen out of the pharmaceutical industry is what happened with this, this company. called Cerepta. They, it's fucking bananas. It's such a, it's a gene therapy that they got approved, like fast track approved by

the FDA, but it's so fucked up. It treats. Big Pharmacill, big farmishil. It's, the, the thing that they're trying to treat is Duchenne's muscular dystrophy, which only affects boys. This sucks. And the, the FDA approved. it for four boys only ages five ages five and six and it costs three point two million dollars per

patient to treat them you can't put a price on health i'm always how the fuck but it like it works small business loan yeah the sba but they've been i've been watching this company for the last decade and it's like they've had one treatment go all the way and then get knocked down and the stock went up to like 200 and then knocked down to 20 and then up to fucking 400 and then knock down. And yeah, they just got approved, but it's, I don't know, it's, it's interesting

to me that there are companies out there who's, I mean, this isn't their entire thing, they also work on other stuff but they can be working on single treatments just for one disease that afflicts a very, very, very, very small part of the population. And then that's

how you get it costing $3.2 million. Who the fuck is going to be able to pay that. No insurance company is going to cover that. I know five at the bottom of the ocean right now who would have been able to pay for it. And you guys are laughing. And you guys are laughing. Think about all the gene therapy they would have been able to pay for.

My gene therapy consists of and never taking the fucking things off, you know? Wait, what? My pants, my jeans. Oh. You fucking, God damn it, man. Did you get it? Yeah, I understood. Oh, man. This is why we're making the big bucks.

This is why we're making the big bucks, baby. Man, I didn't know you were going to want to talk about RFK so much. Now I can't stop thinking about it. I didn't want to talk about him so much. I just wanted to do it an impression of him. But now I know I can't do that because that's not safe. It's really mean to do it. It's really mean, but he did a backflip in that video and he said,

Hey, you guys want to see me to a backflip. please don't crucify me for that I mean what do you want Do you want to like the guy Because I can either make fun of him Or you vote for Yeah or you vote for him You know what's pissing me off though

What It's just How is it Oh okay I thought that we were doing this every day Because I was about to say Why is there a leaf blower Every time we record

And I'm going oh because it's once a week No but it's not It happened on a different day I'm surprised There's leafblowers, too. I got to talk to the set guy. But... What?

He could accomplish all... He could accomplish all these things in such a different way, right? Yeah, unless his head falls off. Like, his uncle... I don't think he's enough of a threat, honestly. I think... I mean, we'll see. I do have to say, I think he's like...

I think he's doing a good job of... For example, Joe Biden is so old and not doing well that he can hardly do... mainstream press you know he can hardly do an announcement without saying

something stupid like God Save the Queen or any of these things he is going on tons of shows and doing long I mean who knows how Joe Rogan episodes

are I think they last for about seven hours they can I think he did one that was that one I think so I think the longest wasn't the longest

no I think maybe you're thinking of Lex Friedman oh yeah the most boring podcast in the world. But so I think that, you know,

people, that's how they get their shit now. People like to, but so he's going on all these huge shows and doing what Biden is not.

Making his case. Yeah. And I think, you know, because people keep posting stuff that he's like, oh my God, now he's pulling X,

Y, and Z. And it's like, yeah, I don't, he's really capturing something there. But, uh,

and a lot of people from the, the right. But yeah, I don't know. Presumably, he could accomplish some of these things if he had a different, you know, I don't know, it's weird for your whole thing to be anti-vaccine when it's like, this is clearly a problem.

I don't think his whole thing is anti-vaccine. I think that it's just the way that- That's what everyone's taking issue with. Yes, because you can have, you can have, I don't know, not saying that this is him, but just you can have a dozen good ideas, but then if there's one that you have that's even remotely controversial, that's what everybody grabs and runs with. Dude, we gotta get the good doctor, Cornell West on, uh... We should get a RFK Jr. on here. Try to get a, just lie and say we're a huge podcast. I wouldn't want to, I, everyone's going to want you to talk about the vaccine stuff.

I don't know anything about vaccines. Yeah, meaning, well, we could offer to debate him on... How could I debate so on? I don't know. You just bullshit. Look at Ben Shapiro. But I'm not going to... Yeah, I have no interest in talking about things I don't...

Plus, it would be hard to listen to him. It's hard for me to listen to his voice physically. It's, it becomes, it triggers that caveman thing of like wanting to comfort another crying human where I'm like, don't cry, RFK, it's okay. He sounds, he sounds worried and like he's, fuck, I can't, I can't. Yeah, just don't do it. Okay. But that is how he sounds, like objectively. yeah yeah anyway you you you really want to keep talking about him but we have other things to discuss

no now i'm just thinking about him i wasn't thinking about him that much before you're just thinking about rfk junior what else do i yeah i have him doing a backflip um god you know who i was listening to i was listening to gary gensler this morning talking about the SEC chair mm-hmm and this is such a small gripe but it i got so pissed because She said, you know, we have... Who's she? Who was interviewing him? Maybe someone from the Wall Street Journal.

Okay. And she said, we have, you know, we have Gary Gensler on. And she said, Gary Gensler, who are you? Like, what are, you know, basically saying, like, introduce yourself. And he said, I'm a father of three daughters. And I happen to be the chair of the SEC. And I'm, I just wanted to fucking scream. Why? What's the matter?

It's that, like, cutesy shit where, like... Yeah. Yeah, I'm a father first. Like, I bet if you went to, like, Obama's Twitter profile or someone, it says, like, father. Well, when you have kids, you can... And he, it's just very much that, uh, I don't know. I know he worked on, like, the Hillary campaign.

Just that whole fucking thing. So what you're saying is you don't like his false modesty or what you perceive to be false modesty? Is it false modesty or is it like... That's what I'm getting from you is that you think it's false modesty. I'm a father. I'm a father first. What would you say?

What would you say about your side? If I was the chair. Yeah. I would say, oh, no, no. Oh, yeah. Oh, me? I'm the chair of the SEC. That's why I'm here.

Yeah. You don't give a shit that I have three dollars. Perhaps that was the question is who are you? We only know you as the. Yeah, but it's like, why are you talking to the Wall Street Journal? We're not here to talk. And then he proceeded to talk about crypto regulation for. Did the slame Coinbase?

Yeah, he was talking about it and how they're unregulated securities and blah, blah, blah. They just gave them a huge pass where they're not allowed. They're going to basically any customer who was harmed by them is going to have to go into private arbitration and not. Right. But that's the thing where it's like that's what, I don't know, it's this like fucking liberal thing where it's like, oh me, I'm not a regulator. It's like I'm just a daughter. I'm just a father of three daughters. Forget about how I completely fucked up.

How is he fucked up? You just explained one way. Oh, oh, that? But is that him or is that the judge in the case? I don't know, Ben. I don't know exactly what you're referring to. Yeah, where does his oversight end and the judge's oversight to take over? The whole system is fucked, man.

We should do something about it. Ben just smoked a joint with his eighth grade friends. The whole system is fucked, man. We should do something about it. I was going to say eighth grade is too young to smoke weed. And then I remember that I smoked it for the first. time in ninth grade and even then yeah it's still way too young i smoked for the first time in yeah seventh grade you smoked it out of a coke can in seventh grade uh no i think i smoked out of a

water like one of those little bubblers yeah oh that's cool man yeah i don't recommend getting high and going to a baseball game either especially when you have um when you have to have a serious conversation no no no especially when you have to turn around and then like walk up the the steps that are too big to take in one big step but two because it's like okay do I do two steps per stair or one big step per stair and you kind of change it up as you're going you just feel silly yeah that's a I don't I don't enjoy weed that much because of this kind of stuff yeah I'm just get high and then I'm like am I taking too many steps am I walking up these stairs wrong there is a secret bathroom in this Dodger stadium there's there's there's

I yes we all know you don't like I just kept thinking how fun it would be to lie to a child if I if I had a kid I would just be lying to the kid constantly especially at a baseball game and just be making shit up

like I'm divorcing your mother no there are children of divorce out there well you are one of them I guess yeah yeah but no I would just it's fun to lie to children in what sense like Santa just fantastical things that make them wonder

Is he telling the truth? Is that real? Yeah, parents do it all the time, I think. Like, I was fucking with Jessica. They said, oh, so-and-so, the golden glove winner. And I said, oh, do you know how they do the golden glove? And she said, how? And I said, well, every season, they bury a golden glove at one of the stadiums. At one of the stadiums in the major league.

And whoever finds it is the golden glove winner. And she didn't believe me, but she was also just like, okay, tell me the truth. but a child would believe that a little boy perhaps my son my future son but and as i was peeing in this secret part of the dodger stadium bathroom that nobody knows about because it's like in the back it's just a whole row of urinals the bathroom could be full and nobody knows it's back there and i every time i go to a dodger game i go i always get near the same seats and uh i go back there and i just as this time i was where do you sit uh first base side on the on the field level you don't want to go during the day though

no terrible you get sun but man i've made that mistake speaking of son um my future son would absolutely believe me if i told him that there was a secret bathroom like on the field that the outfielders use for when they have to like go in the middle of the game i mean my dad used to no i mean there's the bullpen oh yeah the bullpen the bullpen but but so that kind of is yeah but there's not a trap door, which is what I would say. I'd say, yeah, there's a trap door that you can't see. Does the players walk down into? Interesting.

That sounds like fun for you and your son. Well, my future son, he's not alive yet. He's still swimming around in there. Or maybe he hasn't even been manufactured yet. I mean, I don't know how often they cycle through. That would be a good thing to know. To what, how often your sperm cycles? I would say if I could rattle off how often.

The day I know how often. in sperm cycles, then I'd be ready to have RFK on to talk about vaccines. Do you think he knows? I don't know the bounds of his intellect, but I truly don't trust any, and I'm sorry for anybody out there, but I don't want any politician over a certain age simply because of their exposure to lead paint and lead and gasoline. I don't care. He's Jack, though.

I don't care. Also, he was doing push-ups, and again, I don't want to rag on people. form. He said in his tweets that, don't know, oh, sorry, can't do it. Don't knock me. I was at the end of my Oh, okay, I was going to say, at the end of my workout. It looks like he's pumped out, and I've been there. Jesus Christ. And good for him for being pumped out. Honestly,

we respect someone going as hard as they can. You know what I did find funny? I think it was in, it might have been in the New York Times they were talking about, because you know he's friends with Larry David. RFK Jr.? Yeah. I'm cool I'm pretty sure he

you know who he's married to right RFK Jr.? Yeah um Cheryl Heinz Yes I'm pretty sure Wait what? You've got to be

Sorry You've got to be fucking kidding me Uh Still? Yeah Apparently they put a Apparently they got something Where he was going to put out

A press release Because I guess she was like I don't want all this heat From all this shit And he was like Let's put out fake release saying we're getting separated because...

But they're not. I guess not. Did you know this? Did you know? Holy shit. And so, but, you know, RFK Jr. were saying, you know, well, I'm actually, like, not that wacky. I have a lot of... I have a lot of Jewish friends.

No, I have a lot of support, and I think he said something like... Or, you know, Larry David says, I have his love and support. And Larry David had a great line of, like, love and support. Oh, there goes the potato. Love and support, but not, like, support. Yeah. Saying, sure, I, you know, he's a friend and whatever, but I'm not supporting him. Yeah.

Holy fucking God, man. I mean, Larry, you know, he's a, he's going to be a ride or die Biden, a ride in, but rider died in. Well, what about, what if ride or die comes down to die? Oh, Biden dies? Yeah. Interesting. Truly, like, if in the next couple of years, what if Joe Biden dies or becomes comatose or gets ice cream poisoning. Well, in the next few years, I mean, that depends. Who is going to, what's going to happen?

Well, are you presupposing that Biden has won the election? I'm presupposing that it happens before then it wouldn't be in the next few years. Well, so next year if Biden slips on a fucking ice cream cone that I imagine they'd replace them, a puddle of melted ice cream. They'd probably call Governor Newsom. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they probably would have. They'd say we need you. We need a superhero. We need a, we need a Batman villain. Yeah. To, to, to. No way Mayor Pete's going to do it. No way. They're letting Kamala run. No. We should wrap it up, by the way, because we go into the Patreon for the patrons.

Patreon.com slash what is it, paypigspod? Patreon.com slash pay pigs pod. Yeah. And we're going to be talking. I actually have someone to show you this guy popped up on YouTube this morning for me. And I don't know why. I think it's because I was on the pay pigs YouTube, and it doesn't know anything about us yet. So it's just feeding me, it was feeding me a random guy.

Yeah. Special type of guy. We're going to, it's like a men going their own way guy, M-G-Tow. M-Tow. M-Tow, yeah. We're kind of men going their own way. I mean, I go my own way all the time. Which way?

North, south, east, west, wherever, wherever I got to go. I went south over the weekend, down to my mom's. And then I went north. I went to the beach. What beach? The cliffs in Huntington I got I was wearing my wet seat

Oh you did get a little bit of a tan Oh thank you I got like that That was so genuine I got a weird I got a weird I was wearing my spring suit That only comes up to here

And I got like a weird Extra shitty tan Burn I got burned a little bit It's a bit of a farmer's tan Yeah yeah Well I think we're gonna go to the beach This weekend

Mm-hmm Find us No no find us Oh I dare you No I did where are they going to they don't know they have no idea the beach is huge any who the beach is huge the beach is huge uh we thank everybody for watching and if you've been watching all the way up until here something is wrong with you and you should go you should go to the doctor

i have to pee so bad how bad uh on a scale of a normal voice to rfk Junior's voice. I am right up there at RFK Jr's voice in terms of how shaky my bladder is right now. Man, someone out there is probably really mad at me for all these RFK Jr. things. I'm going to wake up with a weird voice dick. There's other things that are wrong with me. So I've got that going. Is there anything you want to say? You look like you've got a lot on your mind. I honestly can't stop thinking about RFK Jr. Christ, God, who cares? It's like, I feel like it's all been washing over me because I'm just like, I don't care.

But, yeah, and I'm like, why do I know so much about him? Like, his wife committed suicide. Ooh, when? Like, I don't know, 2002. Who, who was she? I forget her name. Those Kennedys, man, just stay away. Just stay away.

That's what I'm going to tell my future son. If you meet a Kennedy, just stay away. Their heads fall off Apparently he was a You drown in a car That is the worst one I think You die in a plane crash Truly a cursed family

They are famously cursed Don't just stay away You believe in curses I don't know Is it worth going to Dan Tucket In the summer? Nantucket I didn't say Dan Tucket

Is it worth going to Nantucket Yeah Yeah but okay So if you're gonna do it Just dip in, dip out And be done with it kind of like having a motorcycle enjoy it for a little bit

and if you're still alive stop because you're playing with fire that was my tummy yes it rumbled get over it I'm a human I drank cold brew come on he also someone was saying

they found a little black book of his about a bunch of the women he was fucking cool kind of a horny read is it out there on the internet yeah it's pretty good pull it up let's read it Well, let's do it after, so I can pee. Let's wrap it up here.

Okay, fine. We're going to read about some of RFK Jr's horniest exploits. In the bonus content, if you want to enjoy that, you can go to Patreon.com slash paypigs and Paypigspod. Yeah. And we love you. And thanks for tuning. Love you very much. We're moving along.

We're going to be, there are going to be no more test episodes so soon. Yeah. Okay, bye.