The Ben and Emil Show - Unlocked Bonus! Ben's favorite PLANE CRASHES + How to Fall in Love

Episode Date: September 25, 2023

A little taste of what a typical bonus episode is like. Just two boys answering 36 questions for how to fall in love, and Ben's favorite plane crashes explored. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the bonus, you little pay pigs. Emil was just telling me that on... Emil was just telling me that on the subreddit, we have a problem of not only bots, but actual porn women, porn ladies who are in pursuit of pay pigs. Let's see, pay pigs, Patreon. It's a problem.

Or Reddit, pay pigs Reddit. Pay pigs' Reddit. Pay pigs pod. Yeah, someone was saying on here, You didn't just see any of my search history or anything, right? I did. I probably did. Well, can you cut that out in case there was anything damning?

Yeah, we seriously need to do something about the porn bots and models posting on the sub, because that is a problem. Someone, whoever said that I am Greg coded, or Greg has been coded from Succession, I don't know about that. Why? Because I don't like that. You're kind of tall and goofy. Yeah, Jesus Christ. Oh, yeah, here's one. Broke subs.

I have a subs that want to worship me, but they have no money. And I running out of task for them to do, sad face. See, so that's probably... Comment some task I can make my broke little subs do for me. Since people are fucking doing an RFK Jr. But that seems like it might be a bot now. Yeah, of course. But it said Lafala thanks.

The bots are getting smart. Yeah, these people, man. Anyway, so this is going to be... Yeah, we'll have to figure that out. Yeah, well, we'll have to figure that out. Yeah, well, we'll, we'll, figure it out. What are we going to do?

I don't know. We're going to put in a... Make it so that you can only post on the sub if you follow it. We're going to change the name of the podcast. Oh, damn. I don't know about that in me. Sounded like Doc Brown.

It is interesting seeing all your bookmarks and stuff. It feels very... I wish I wasn't. Oh, taxes, stocks and reading, recipes, music, L-D-WP, SoCal Gas, TV writing, how to write a TV to Pixar pitch the 12 hour something

to fall in love with 36 questions Airbnb and bouldering training for the audio listener Yeah I don't like this Why Those have been there for fucking years

I mean I didn't know how to do Like I didn't know how to do bookmarks The correct way So it saved it to my bookmarks banner or whatever So I don't even know Yeah one of them's like

TV pilot writing It's like when you go over to your friend And he's got, like, you know, books like, how to start your own record label. And it's like, he didn't do that. And now all of a sudden you're just like hanging out amongst your friend's broken dreams. Yeah, not me. I haven't breached the other. But what is to fall in love with?

I'd love to know. I think, let's see. I think it was to fall in love with anyone read. Yeah, let's see. I thought it was cute. To fall in love with anyone do this. Oh, and it's behind a paywall. We'll never know.

Wait, wait, no, I need to know. I think it was 36 questions. Yeah, I think this is it. No, no, the other one is 36. No, no, it's this. It's the New York Times list. But you've both of them booked me. Yeah, because I think that first one I booked marked, but then later saw these are the

36 questions you can ask someone. Have you ever done this? No, I wanted to. Oh, brother, you want to? Yeah. Okay. I've done it with. Well, wait, do we want to do the plane crashes first?

let's do the plane crashes first i mean i'm not sure i all i'm going to be thinking about is these okay okay so for the audio listener well i guess for everybody yeah what are you talking no these were i wanted to do these with someone you've never done it with a partner no not yet i wanted to i wanted to but i didn't get around to it because i forgot that it existed and i wanted it to be the that just fucking whatever i've done it a couple times and it didn't take really this this specifically yeah well you probably doing it wrong how you answer the questions this is the new york times list 36 questions you can ask someone if you want to fall in love wait but you have to do that because you you have to open the other one

because you yeah it's quick instructions read one question aloud to your partner then both of you answer but hold on the next question link me the thing because i have i have a new york times subscription just go to 36 questions in love dot com no that's not what i want the the act the yeah because they explained like they actually ran a study yeah they explain that it's a um yeah yeah that explores whether intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated by having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions right the 36 questions in the study are broken up into three sets with each set intended to be more probing than the previous one and the idea is that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness yes to quote the study's author one key pattern

with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained escalating reciprocal personal self-disclosure so hot so sexy sustained reciprocal personal fucking answer questions allowing oneself to be vulnerable with another person can be exceedingly difficult so exercise forces the issue not not for me oh wow the final task you stare in each other's eyes for like five four minutes yeah four minutes and i remember the the writer said that she did this as a just as a fun experiment with a male colleague and then they ended up falling in love. No way. There's something like that.

Why didn't it work for me? I don't know. Okay, maybe you're fucked up. Here's question number one, Emil. If you could invite anyone in the world to dinner, who would it be? I feel like there should be a guessing element because I'm going to guess Bernie Sanders. It doesn't say alive or dead. So it could be, if you can invite anyone in the world to dinner, who would it be?

My follow-up question would be, where are you going to dinner? What are you ordering? But stick to the scripts. Yeah, given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest? Honestly, this is going to sound boring, but I'd probably just pick a friend. I think people are psycho.

It's like, I want to have Bernie Sanders over there. That sounds stressful. Why wouldn't I just like invite my friend Phil or Matt and be like, what a nice dinner? Okay, good answer. You're going to add? So far. Who would you invite?

Well, dead dad doesn't count. I guess it does kind of. I would say that. I would say dead dad. Which I could still do. I just pick up his ashes and take it to a restaurant. Baggage. If anyone, if I could invite anyone in the world to dinner.

Yeah, it would be, it would be him or like, I don't know some dead guy some dead fucker from history Benjamin Franklin so I could just bully him just bully him the whole time

blow his mind with chapstick look at this shit you absolute idiot his lips are cracked and bleeding I wish I had the All right question number two Would you like to be famous In what way?

Well you answer first Because I'm not gonna do See we're already having an issue Would I like to be famous I don't know Because, but fame obviously is varying degrees. There's Tom Cruise and then there's Ted Kaczynski. Would I like to be famous?

I don't, huh. I don't want to be famous so much as I want to be, I want to be revered and admired for whatever my contribution to society or however big or small ends up being if it's I don't know if it's I would say that so far having a positive impact on a small number of people's lives and outlooks on life is is already achieving this to an extent and I like that you're saying you're famous no I'm saying yeah so famous getting stopped on the street, left and right, being thanked for...

I mean, I'm joking, but there is a, there's, we've, we've hit in some threshold of, you know. Sure. When I was in the Amsterdam airport with my brother and his girlfriend, I got recognized them. You know, there's... So would you like to be? Uh, no. I think, I think that seeing some celebrity, like, we've talked about that Ben Affleck video where he's walking back to the car with Jaylo.

And he's just done. And he just fucking shuts the door. Yeah. And then he walks around to his driver's side and he just goes, really? And it's like, I don't know if there's an amount of money that's like worth not having any privacy or that kind of thing. I think the ideal situation would be to make a lot of money privately through private endeavors and secret and nobody knows who you are and nobody knows anything about you. Oh, yeah, that would be my ideal thing. Question number three.

Before making a telephone call. do you ever rehearse what you're going to say why yeah it depends usually no but if it's a big deal yeah if it's a big deal i'll be like what am i going to say to this person same nice wow i am kind of falling for him what would constitute a perfect day for you you go i did the last one okay i'll tell you exactly what would constitute a perfect day. Waking up early, I'm talking 5.30, 6 a.m., getting to the beach and having a two and a half to three hour surf session with whoever, whichever one of my, my friend Tony, my friend Devin, my brother, and it's like offshore winds and it's three to four feet and it's just perfect.

There's hardly anybody out. and then we it's the water's warm we get out we get breakfast burritos and i go home and my i'm greeted there by my sexy wife and my dog oh shit uh i don't know he had a wife yeah we have sex and then um i just hang out with the dog and with my wife and we watch a movie and then later on go for a walk and then we ordered dominoes we have ice cream that sounds awesome wow yeah no this is a perfect day. Come on. I'm skipping ahead to a bunch of questions, but go ahead. Mine is just like ripping just tons of nitrous oxide in like a shed I built. And, you know, I'm just coming up with like new disruptive ideas. And, you know, my brother and all my

loved ones are just kind of banging on the door. Yeah. Is there dog shit in the picture? Talk shit everywhere. Dog shit everywhere. I kick over a space heater. Yeah. And I just let it ride. That's pretty cool. I want to skip to the more intense ones because these are getting pretty fucking boring, if you ask me. When did you last sing to yourself? No, that one sucks. See, I'm going up to question. How are we supposed to fall in love if you're going to skip that?

Well, I'm just, oh, geez, man. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible. That's a snoozer. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be? The ability to fucking digest lactose. Where are you? I'm on question 12. If you could wake up tomorrow and have gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Yeah, it would be able to digest lactose, dairy products. Sick of this shit. I would want to be a polyglot who is very easy, who can easily pick up languages. That's a nerdy of you. I'm skipping. I don't think this is going to work between us. Yeah, I know. What is the...

Wait, what about this one? If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know? Who has wronged me? I'm kidding. What would I want to know if a crystal ball could tell? Ooh, that's it. See, these are questions where I would really want to answer them genuinely, and it would take me too much time to answer.

Right, and we're not actually trying to fall in love with each other. Yeah, no, no. What is your most treasured memory? Snooze. Oh, boy. Okay, yeah. All right, let's skip to the fucking plane crashes. Why don't we?

All right? I don't love them, folks, just so you know. Okay, so we're... He can't even commit to three sets of questions. It's meant to take hours to go through those questions. Should we at least do the four minutes of uninterrupted staring? No, I don't think people want that. You know, it's funny, I did go to a...

I went to a... Don't look at me like that. No, what? What is it? I went to a meditation retreat. And it was, um, Jack, Jack Cornfield, do you know that guy? It's like the OG meditation guy. um well like western meditation guy but so you wear cowboy hats and boots no not that west while you meditate um and i obviously didn't know anyone i went

alone and at one point he did a thing where i don't he started describing something it became clear that we were going to do something like this because he was like you need to get you need to find a partner and i was just kind of being very sheepish and not finding a partner so i was like this is great i just won't i don't i don't want to do this one anyway and then he kept being like if you don't find a partner we'll find you a partner you need to have a partner and so finally this woman maybe in her 50s he's like we can be partners and and it was that did you end up fucking this lady no no no no no no no but it was just it is it's funny because in the thing they describe it says two minutes of uninterrupted staring is

intense four minutes is like whatever and they've done studies where they had strangers do it and they felt feelings for the person afterwards. Oh, it's very strange. Even spoken to them. But so we did it and it was probably like 10 minutes of meditation staring into and I just, I started crying. I was like, I don't know why this is happening. Jesus Christ, man.

Can you imagine doing it with Tony Hasey and you're both fucked up on whippets and there's dog shit everywhere? You just locked eyes. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you got to go back and listen to the main episode because it's a doozy. Okay, Ben's top five playing graces. Okay, all right. Hit me first.

First one. Aloha Airlines. Number one. Flight 243. Aloha Airlines, I'm just going to try to rattle these off the dome from what I remember about them, but Aloha Airlines was a regional airline in, you guessed it. Nebraska. No.

Hawaii, that's right. And they were operating a fleet of 737 aircraft. And for those of you who don't know the 737, it is known as, it's the workhorse of Boeing's entire fleet. They are, think of Southwest. Southwest runs an entire fleet of just 737s. And so a couple things. these these every airplane is certified to fly x number of cycles and a cycle is a takeoff and a landing so let's just call it 30,000 cycles okay 30,000 cycles 30,000 cycles after which point it is recommended by the manufacturer that certain maintenance things get implemented and they check out certain things and all that stuff uh so before we get to actually that the crash itself wasn't a crash it was it was an accident and here's a photo of the accident

it was um mid flight the top of the fuselage about let's see one two three four five just about six rows in length the top of the fusillelage ripped off this is a terrifying picture it is terrifying there was only one death it was a flight attendant who was unfortunately sucked out and they never found she got her butt sucked out she got her butt sucked out she got her butt sucked out. Technically, yeah, it was her butt that got sucked out. But it was, it's like something out of a... They never found her? They never found her. No. She probably...

Well, we don't know if she died then. We... We... Fair. Sure. It's fair. Sure. It's fair. But, uh, they, uh... Anyway, they, the... The, first of all, these people got incredibly lucky that the top of the fuselage failed and not the bottom.

Because if it was the bottom, the nose of the, the nose of the aircraft would have just fucking flipped over and then they would have been all fucked. But so they rapidly descended and ended up landing mostly without incident. And it's just a fucking miracle. But so, and this is what I love about plane crashes is learning how they, the NTSB and the FF. FAA then learned what the cause was because it exposes some flaw in processes and stuff in manufacturing, that they then implement a change that ensures. It makes me feel safer. Like, oh, they, they, they didn't see this one flaw.

They've already made it so the planes don't rip off anymore, which is great. So part of the problem with this. What year was this, by the way? This was 1988, I believe. Damn, they didn't know about not letting the top rip off yet, which is wild. Yeah, that's right. They didn't know. Well, so when I talked about cycles, when a plane gets to altitude and goes back, basically

in that time between being just on the ground and in the air, the fuselage expands and contracts. And so it's designed to do that, but it's only designed to be able to withstand X number of cycles. and around 30,000 is when they recommend starting to do certain maintenance checks and whatnot. And this one, because it was a regional airplane, it was doing a lot more daily cycles than otherwise. It basically got to that threshold a lot sooner. And basically, like, nobody was paying attention. So it had exceeded its safe. I'm butchering this.

Like landings and takeoff. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And there was metal. Because maybe it was flying people from Oahu to say, uh, Kauai. Sure. Awhu to the big island. And. Oahu to Maui.

It had metal fatigue. Maui to the big island. Sure. Keep going. Kauai to the big island. Maui to Oahu. Stop. Okay.

So they, they, they, it was metal fatigue that caused there was, it just finally that one day, the cracks that had been started just you were if you were on that flight you were just unlucky enough to to um be fucked by it but so they they found that in their investigations they found that the maintenance checks were being performed at night making it extremely hard to see the cracks the cracks that were occurring so whose genius idea was that was probably to save money or something i could look it up right now but i am i guess you could say they weren't flying with aloha no they were not do you know about driving with aloha no is that where you just are driving with good guys no like when you rent a car in hawaii they'll say just so you know

we're not like you fucking crazy mainlanders we drive with aloha here and you really feel it like people are way more mellow yeah it's like i like that that's how i drive in illa and everyone's like just fucking go i don't care one more everyone go i don't even have to go anywhere you just park your car that's driving with loha the next flight is alaska airlines flight 261 Alaska flight 261 let me pull it up here flight 261 um it was a McDonnell Douglas MD 83 and uh it was flying let's see it was flying from the destination was Seattle and it was flying from uh Licentzio Gustavo Diaz or Das International Airport. I believe that's from Mexico.

A lot of people died on this one. Yeah, everybody died. It was in, 88 out of 88. January 31st, 2000. So this one was, oh man. So mid-flight, all of a sudden, the plane goes into a nosedive over the Pacific Ocean, just full-on fucking nosedive. And the pilots are, I mean, you can.

hear the screaming the black box no no you can hear the the pilot is fucking cool and calm he says yeah we're in an uncontrolled dive here and then they pull out of it and they're level for a bit but then they dive again and the the pilot ended up doing what um denzil washington does in that movie flight oh dude hell yes inverts it and he saves them he was flying inverted over the pacific and air traffic control called to another nearby aircraft to see if he had eyes on him he said yeah i see him right now he's inverted and then he ended up landing in the ocean.

Denzel could have landed it. He did land it. Wait, so you know how you did that the pilots cool and collected? Yeah. You know where that comes from? What, the phrase cool and collected? No, that like pilots talking like that? No.

Have you read the right stuff? No. Wait, how have you never read the, you love it. About Chuck Yeager? I've seen the movie. It's about all of them. But Chuck Yeager is the guy because he'd be fucking in tailspins. everything would be going wrong, and he would be able to get on the radio and just be telling

them calmly what's going on. And then every pilot started to be like, oh, I want to be this, you know, brass balls, fucking, because it's all about ascending the ziggurat and it's sick. I do be ascending the ziggurat. If you've never read the right stuff, read it. Chuck Yeager was an American hero who was a very, very famous test pilot. I believe he was the first to break the sound barrier. and other things but so this plane they ended up figuring out that the rear stabilizer had failed

causing and that's what makes the plane actually take off it's the fin on on the tape excuse me right it tilts at the tail yeah so if you've ever put your your hand out the window on the freeway and you put your you put your hand like angled upward your your hand shoots up. And the opposite is what happened. All of a sudden, the rear stabilizer pointed down and it put them in the nosedive. That was all because of a fucking jack screw. God damn. Which controls the rear stabilizer. A nut goes up and down on it. And they found that the threading of the nut was still there. And it was because of, it was, the jack screw was not properly lubricated. Why? Because the airline was cutting costs.

God damn it. They were cutting costs, and it led to the jack screw not being properly lubricated, which led to the deaths of all these people. So that changed their protocols for, because it was basically, I believe the FAA was just entrusting these airlines to just, they know that it's bad business to have planes crash. No. The free market will figure it out. Free market will figure it out.

No. Okay. this is actually probably my top one because it's so tragic. These are in no particular order. No, they're in no particular order. Oh, you like when they're more tragic. Because there's so much to have learned and because it is, it involves aerodynamics and all that stuff. It is American Flight 191 and it crashed because the, the left side engine fell off during takeoff.

And the pilots did not know that it fell off. All they thought, all they knew was that we've lost. lost the engine power. They did not realize that it had fallen off, which then severed the hydraulic. By the way, I'm telling all of these to Jessica as we're walking to a Dodger game and this guy's hearing all of it behind us. But so it severed all the hydraulics cables and stuff, which caused the slats to retract on the wing, thus providing the left wing with less lift, causing the left wing to dip.

Did that make sense? I don't know. Okay, so basically, no, this is a really easy concept. When a plane is taking off and landing, there are things called slats and flaps on the wing that expand to give the wing more surface area. Sure. The more surface area you've got, the less air speed you need to take off and land. That's why you've got it on takeoff so that you can take off at a slower speed,

and that's how you slow down. Were you just snoring? Were you making a snoring time? No, I think of it. So basically, think of it like this. Like, this is just the wing normal. Here, zoom in on this. Yeah, there we go.

This is the wing normally, like during flight. And during takeoff and landing, it expands the size of the wing. Yeah, I've seen a move on the waist. Yeah, yeah. So when the engine fell off, it cut the hydraulics, like I said, causing the slats and stuff to go back to their original position, thereby providing the left wing with significantly less lift, causing it to dip like that.

And the pilots didn't know it and they ended up fucking crashing. Everybody died. If they had known that, they could have accounted for that and like fucking saved the day. And so what we learned from that one is you don't want your left engine to fall off.

You don't want your left engine to fall off. We'll fix that. So at the time, American Airlines, Continental Airlines. Are those engines or just the big propellers? What? Don't look at me like that. The full-on engine.

Yeah, the full-on engine on the pylon completely came off. Right. those big things that look like huge propellers. Yeah, that's the, are you talking the fan blade? No, it was the full on entire engine, not just the fan blade, like the front of the cowling that you're, that has happened recently. No, it was the full on engine.

Okay. The whole thing. But so at the time. How many engines are there? It depends on the aircraft. How many were there on this one? Two. Okay.

What's the most amount of engines? I mean, on like a B2 bomber or the B1. is the B1 or the B-52 has like 2, 4, 6, 8, something like that and the

Ukrainian one has like 6 the one that the Russians bombed and killed the biggest aircraft in the world the Antonov 225 fuck man so at the time

so at the time American Airlines Continental is this boring as fuck yes you like it? Okay, cool Okay Wow, that's pretty cool

And it caught fire and everyone left But he made sure It didn't crash into a small town Wow Did he survive? That's pretty cool See, that's a cool story That is a cool story

That I told it like that Okay, so wait So why did it? No parts I didn't understand Well, so here's why That crash happened They ended up figuring out What the fuck?

What the hell is that? Folks, a little piece of Like, Emil's furniture just fell off. Oh, no, I think it's a sets for him. Well, no, that's my grandpa. Oh, you know what? That might go in there. Oh, I didn't do that.

Oh, wow. It's in the chair. Interesting. I'm going to talk to the guy about that. So American Airlines, Continental Airlines, and United Airlines had developed a different procedure for saving 200 working hours by cutting corners. Basically, to do engine maintenance, you needed to take the engine off the pylon, which is the thing that holds it to the wing, and then take off the pylon separately and do your thing. But they figured out, oh, you can remove the engine and the pylon as a single unit, and that will save us a ton of time.

And let's see, it was United was using a hoist in lifting them up, whereas American and Continental were sticking a forklift underneath and just like hoisting it up that way. but the forklift operator couldn't see what he was doing it all had to be guided by like okay a little to the left a little to the right a little okay you got it this precise ass thing that had to be fucking precise they were doing it just guiding a guy on a forklift and so what did that do it led to them kind of like fucking it up and and causing again metal fatigue that was like it was a ticking time bomb and they didn't realize it and then this was the one fateful day that it finally gave during takeoff. So now there's all sorts of rules and regulations for how to do maintenance and stuff. And I think also it was a case where they found out that the manufacturer's maintenance guide was too hard to understand for most people. It wasn't in good layman terms. It was like for engineers' eyes only. So people were kind of like, the maintenance people were like, okay, I think I understand what's going on. So now they have to also make the maintenance guides easier to understand.

Okay, next one. Air France Flight 447. Oh, Sacrable. This one's tragic. I mean, they're all tragic. I'm going to make these ones quicker. You ever seen those little things that come off the sides of the airplane that look like a little, they're called pito tubes?

they're little tubes that come off the sides of the airplane and they are what gives the pilot information, airspeed, all that shit. Well, at a certain altitude, they had, theirs froze over and was giving them all sorts of bad inputs. No, no, no, no. They ended up the two pilots, you know, you got the pilot and the co-pilot. One had had, the main pilot, the captain was in the bathroom or something or asleep, and the two co-pilots were manning the fucking sticks.

And one of them had panicked and put them into like a fucking near vertical ascent until they stalled. And then they were stalling and stalling and stalling. And the other co-pilot was basically they weren't communicating very well. And they were putting opposite inputs, which was they were canceling each other out. And then finally the captain comes in. he's like, what the fuck is going on? Let me take over. And he comes and he's sitting down and he's going, I'm trying to like, do-do, what's going on?

And the other guy goes, yeah, I've had it in a, you know, I've had the nose up for 10 minutes and it's not working. And then the captain realized, you fucking idiot, no, we're not supposed to be nose up. We're in a stall. You've got to be nose down for a stall to get out of the stall. And by then it was too late and they just belly flopped into the ocean and everybody died. Damn. Yeah. How'd they fix that one?

I think I don't know I don't know that how do they make sure the tubes don't freeze that's a good question I don't know I think it was a I think that one might have just been pilot error which is the most terrifying thing is that pilots can just straight up screw up it's always some fucking French jackass well so this one you'll be happy to know was not a crash it was more of an incident it was it China Airlines I'll be happy to know yeah China Airlines flight zero zero six it was on the 747, the Queen of the Skies. I still don't, what happened is so long and convoluted.

I won't even get into it, but basically, the captain, the captain incorrectly went through his checklists of what was going wrong and could have solved the problem a lot quicker than he did, but they ended up plunging 30,000 feet in just a couple minutes and they reached upwards of 5Gs and people were like pissing and shitting and throwing up because they all imagine you're in a fucking nose dive in a 747 and everybody's screaming thinking that they're going to die and then like I think like 7,000 or 9,000 feet just above the ocean they finally got the engines back on and pulled out of it and landed without incident and everybody just had to like embarrassingly get off the plane covering piss and shit

it and bum it. Smelling like a goddamn Zappos party? Yeah. Oh, geez. So that's it for that one. Those are all my favorite flights that my favorite plane crashes. Thank you for listening. This has been Ben's favorite plane crashes.

Those are pretty good. Yeah. You told all of those out of Dodgers? I didn't get to the check. I didn't get around to China Airlines Flight 6. Will you tell her another time you think? Yeah, maybe. I don't know.

The mood strikes. Hey, baby. Hey, look, there's something I've been wanted to tell you. You remember those plane crashes I was telling you about? There's actually one more. I didn't get quite get around to the... It's actually one more I really like. Yeah.

Let me set the scene for you. You're on your way to China. It's over the ocean. Yeah, you're in a 747. The Queen of the Scouts. Yeah. The Chinese food is... kicking we start tanking 30,000 feet five Gs I hit five Gs I shit myself everyone does it

doesn't matter there's piss and shit everywhere they they interviewed some of the survivors on the show and it was a guy just going yeah it was horrible I thought I was going to die people around me are vomiting and there's feces and uh holy shit wasn't pretty yeah it sounds fucking mortifying and then you pull out of it and you're like oh thank God I'm not going to die after all. This is a... But I got poo-poo in my pants. I'm usually not afraid of flying, but...

Now you are? No, I mean, I'm just getting on a plane in two days. It's kind of like, I hope I'm not thinking about this. The cool thing is when you're flying in the upper classes, it feels like you're invincible and like, no, I'm, I'm, look at how big this seat is. I'm impervious to getting killed on this flight. No. Yeah, of course, no.

Of course, no. I'm not flying in the upper classes anyway. I am on my way out to New York. Points, baby. What do you end? I'm in Delta 1, which is basically Delta's first class. It's awesome. I got to pick my meal.

I don't even know what I'm going to be eating. I don't use them for upgrades. I use them to, like, fly places. I didn't upgrade. It's just, I'm using it to fly places. It costs like 55,000 points. Yeah, how much would be for... Versus, if it was coach, it would have been like 30.

And I thought, hell yeah, I'm going to do that. Screw it. Yeah, that's the equivalent of... You basically just halved your flight. it's worth it's worth it Steve Harvey has a video I'd rather just fly again Steve Harvey's got this video because you know how Steve Harvey does his little um motivational talks before every episode of whatever fucking show he shoots Steve Harvey the family feud yeah he does these motivational things to the studio audience before every episode of whatever yeah family feud

and he does yeah like they're not filming well they are filmed they're filming that but it doesn't make it on air it's for like social media and he's doing this one he goes you gotta fly first class once in your life because once you fly first class and you go back to coach you'll be thinking i want to fly first class and you'll never want to you'll always be wanting to fly first class again i've flown first class a couple times makes me want to go back makes me every time i'm like damn how can I I'm sitting in coach plotting and scheming and thinking I gotta wake up at five in the morning I gotta do a cold plunge I gotta do all sorts of things but for me it's more like how can I scheme and scam American Express you ever see those Reddit threads where

it's like my husband always upgrades himself but leaves me in coach oh I would never do that I didn't say you would no but yeah that's fucked up also I mean if your if your wife doesn't want to get on the game with you, you got to, you gotta, you gotta leave her in the dust. What I mean get on the game with you? Like get in the points game. There's a reason that he's able to upgrade and you're not. What if there are one? Why aren't you hustling more? Wife. What if there are one income household? Well, time to turn from a, time to turn from an oink to a dink. One income, no kids to a dual income, no kids? Yeah. Assuming that they don't have children. Turn from an oink to a dink. Yeah. I get pissed.

off when I see children in business class or first class as I'm boarding the plane. Why? Because it's like, damn, you can afford that or you got that many points. Their parents just worked harder than you. It's true. They did. That should fuel you. That should make me, yeah.

Are you flying back, coach? No. Or yes. JetBlue. Are we on the same flight? Yes, I changed my flight. Oh, remember. Yeah.

So that we could record for all these lovely people. I did it for you. I did it for you. I'm getting back earlier so that we can record say thank you. Me say thank you. Thank you to you. Okay. What else?

I am very excited for our New York trip. Can we tell them that our moms will be there? Yeah, if you're out there and you're coming to the show. Our moms will be there. Our moms are coming to the show. Then please just leave them alone. Right? What are they going to do?

I don't know. I mean. I wouldn't I wouldn't have invited my mom if I thought I mean now you're worried now I'm worried I'm flying my mom all the way from Greece to just get harassed damn you're going out to Greece and picking up your mom and then flying her back no I'm flying her out from Greece oh yeah wow damn are you rich or something no you're using points I use points to fly my mom business class on a Euro trip

and back what have you done for your mom Fleur to New York to see my show. You haven't done it yet. It's about to happen. It's about to happen. Yeah. That was a nice surprise. My mom didn't really care that much.

Really? I mean, she did, but I remember being so excited to get to our seats and like, hey, this is us. Wow, 3A and 3C. Can you believe it? And she goes, are you kidding? And I said, no, this is us. And she goes, wow. Yeah, it was her first time.

She didn't care? No, she did. She did. did she had some champagne and ended up sleeping it was great it felt so good to treat my mom to that it is nice yeah and also word of the wise don't do first class total jip business same thing oh yeah oh the seat's not like leather get the fuck out of here or whatever the champagne comes in a plastic flute sweetly d is what i say do they get glass flutes yes what you get glass it's it's the same thing what a dumb it's the same thing discrepancy yeah yeah it's really yeah also what's with all

the people who talks even though american airlines banned me from the advantage program i still like flying american i don't understand why people think it's i don't know their food is good their service is fine i would also say that there's no airline where i'm like yes this is nice jet blue jet blue yeah it's nice they have great leg room literally the last time we flew they fucking the toilets were like overflowing and the the the ran out of water oh yeah they yeah they did run out of water yeah that did suck yeah that did suck but for the most part it's fine you know free enterprise sometimes you run out of water as long as the toilets work oh but they didn't that's right one of them didn't yeah but they

fixed that right up quick you know what i've been doing what have you tell me if this is bad or not okay it's actually i don't think it's bad okay but i'll tell you anyway when I first hurt my knee we're talking about this fucking knee again no we're not in the context of flying well they did the thing that they said you know if you're if you're military if you're

injured I don't think they said injured but then as a catch-all they said and if you need extra time boarding so I said I don't want to I don't want to stand on my knee right now like in line let me ask if there'll be a and so I literally when I but I was like, hey, I have a fucked up knee.

Can I, would it be okay if I boarded early with them? And they literally just like, didn't even look up. They were just like, I don't care, sure. Awesome. Yeah. That's great. That's not fucked up at all. It's a true, true blue use of your.

But now every time I want to do it. Oh, yeah. Go for it. And I have been doing it. You know, I saw this girl on TikTok. You know why I do it? Why? The first time I actually really needed to, the other times was because,

every fucking every time I get on a flight now they never used to do this when I was younger but they would they always say oh if you're anywhere after like group B there's no more fucking overhead

overheads oh yeah because dick holes oh let me tell you why and I've seen it firsthand dick holes will have a dumb little backpack that should go under the front fucking seat and they put it up in the overhead space where it does not belong if it can fit under your seat, that's where it goes, shithead.

Or a jacket, oh, I got my two jackets, fuck yourself. I actually do think more people are carrying on bags than ever. Of course, because it's a smart thing to do. Right. Or I've seen guys turn their suitcase the wrong way and it. But people used to go up to the gate and check always. But so now when they do that,

I'll go, hey, is it okay if I pre-boarded? My knee hurts. My knee hurts. And then I just walk up completely empty overhead. Yeah, that's a good boy. I also, if you're coming for me, I make sure to go last. All the old people, sick people. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay, good, yeah, yeah.

I say, you guys go ahead. I'll go after. There's a woman. So it really affects nothing. Sure. This woman on TikTok said that she has a new hack for getting on a plane early. And she says she goes up to the desk and says that she has autism. And it's over-stimulating for her.

So she would like, but she does it in a way that's so, she's clearly probably not autistic she goes up and goes I have a new hack for getting on the plane first and she just goes watch this sets up for camera and goes up and says hi um I'm autistic and I need to get on the just like the most charismatic person yeah I mean it's probably true I don't know

but I've yet to try that see this is what's anything like that I think all uh airlines no all what do they call Hacks? It's related to hacks. It's like the...

Strategies? No, relax, relax. Etiquette is going to completely implode because of TikToks and Instagram reels and stuff. People are going to be like, here's how to, and everyone just going to be destroyed. Everyone's just going to be fighting for seats. Yeah, there's a lot of... And I say this as someone who did just tell people an easy way to get to board early. Yeah, but how many people are really realistic?

Man, that does make me want to try it, though. My foot hurts. Okay, sure. Get on the plane. Right. Like, what does this person care? Yeah. I don't know.

Should we talk about the... Aspartame? The Elem... Oh. The enhanced games? Either one. Yeah, okay. Which one?

Which one are you more excited about? Let's see. I'm more excited about the aspartame thing. So a lot of people actually tagged me in this because they point... Because you drink Diet Coke all the time? I don't drink it all the time. I don't even have, I should buy some. This makes you want to buy it?

Well, yeah, because it's just a fear-mongering thing. I have got this thing right here. The FDA sets the ADI, which is some, what is the ADA? It's the accepted daily intake. Right, they're saying you'd have to drink a fucking ton of soda. Yeah, they said the FDA sets the ADI for aspartame at 50 milligrams per kilogram of weight. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. A 12-ounce Coke, Diet Coke has around 200 milligrams.

That means you could consume around 91 packets of NutraSuite or 17 cans of Diet Coke every day for the rest of your life. It's common sense not to do that, but it's illustrative that toxicity lies in the dose. So, and but then it says, of course, everybody reacts differently to certain substances. If you're prone to headaches, you might want to avoid aspartame as some studies show that it may trigger headaches and migraines. But, man, man, another win for the Diet Coke heads. a win? Yeah. Yeah, it is because it's not that, it's not a thing. I'm not going to drink 17 cans of Diet Coke every day for the rest of my life, even though I wish I could. But, man, it's just so good. I don't know. The point is it's, yeah, it's, yeah, the bottom line is a leaked report

from a non-food safety agency is not what you should base your decision to, decision to consume Aspartame on. It's one of the most studied sweeteners, and it undergoes periodic, rigorous review by food safety agencies until those agencies say otherwise there's no need to panic. Thank you. That's all I needed. What? Go ahead. Pop it. Pop the bubble. Pop my fucking fantasy bubble. I don't know. I just, I mean, you know me. I just, I don't want any of that shit. You don't want aspartame? Because you don't know what it is? Well, now you know what it is. Do I? Yeah. What is it? It's an artificial sweetener. Also, there's a crazy story about how Aspartame got through

through the FDA's approval process. I haven't looked into it in a long time, but you know who plays an important role in this? Any Aspertame. Don't put it in. It's just going to fall out. No, not anti-asper-Tame. The inventor of Aspartame? Donald Rumsfeld. Donald Rumsfeld is a Diet Coke nut?

No. I believe he worked. Now I've got to look it up. He worked for Swedenlow? I believe he worked for the company that that developed it Let's look it up Good for him Thank you to Donald Rumsfeld RIP down in hell

Or up wherever the fuck it is All right ready Yes I'm ready Ooh this is from Harvard Business School Wow Wow so you know it's legit What year was it This looks like 1982

After Daniel Sir Had all but run his family's company Into the ground Rumsfeld took over and began cutting costs across the board. After selling off the majority of Searle's non-pharmaceutical business, with the exception of the Pearl Vision chain, Rumsfeld's trimming helped search under profit of over $120 million. The real success of Searle under Rumsfeld came with the FDA approval of aspartame, the artificial sweetener that became popular and very

profitable for Searle during the 1980s diet craze. Wait, you're happy? This is the guy you want to be I'm just pumped that they got Diet Coke out Hell yeah Do you like the taste better than regular Coke? I don't like either of that. I tried, put it to you this way. I had a Dr. Pepper at that Bachelor party and it tasted so fucking grotesque

because it was just, it just tasted like syrup. And I just said, I'm not drinking this shit and I poured it out and I grabbed the Diet Coke instead. Okay, ready? Huh. So yes, that Donald. Ronald Rumsfeld, the knowns and unknowns guy who remarkably executed some of the worst decisions in American foreign policy and got a medal for it. I've been reading up on this strange

chapter in the history of Donald Rumsfeld and have learned two things. One, the chemical additive aspartame is very potentially a cancer and brain tumor-causing substance that has no place in our food. And two, the reasons and means by which Rumsfeld helped get it approved are nefarious at best, criminal at worst. This is from Huff Post. I have no idea on the vera of the cancer or whatever thing, but he did get it. Yeah, it's not. But he did get it through on a very weird technicality. On a, yeah, let's, I just want to find the, the crux of it. I wonder if he bribed someone. Either way, I'm happy he did it. Because what would we have instead? Whoa, this is actually, wow. Then a peer-reviewed journal, Aspartame, Methanol, and the Public Health,

Dr. Woodrow-Monte wrote, when diet, sodas and soft drinks sweetened with Aspartame are used to replace fluid loss during exercise and physical exertion in hot climates, the intake of methanol can exceed, I mean, this is, who fucking knows about any of this shit? Methanol. But the FDA, the effects of Aspartame are documented by the FDA's own data. In 1995, the agency was forced under FOIA to release a list of Aspartame symptoms reported by thousands of victims. From 10,000 consumer complaints, the FDA compiled a list of 92 symptoms, including death.

I mean, how can you complain if you're dead first that is a good second are they consuming are they are they like dehydrated and they're reaching for a diet coke in the desert how how can you how can you attribute to aspartame what like how many people how many consumers out there are going damn I feel sick it must have been that diet coke true with aspirate but this is what I really want okay ready in 1985 Monsanto purchased GD Searle the cereal we were just talking about. The chemical company that held the patent to Aspartame,

the active ingredient in the Nutrisuite. Monsanto was apparently untroubled by Aspartame's cloud of past, including the report of a 1980 FDA Board of Inquiry comprised of three independent scientists, which confirmed that it might induce brain tumors. So I'm going to think about. The FDA had previously banned aspartame based on this finding, only to have then Searle chairman Donald Rumsfeld vow to call in his markers. to get it approved.

Isn't it a while that the sweet and low guy ended up becoming the fucking secretary of state or not sweet and low, but NutraSuite? Also, yeah, these are unsettling names. I don't like NutraSuite. Just call it, I don't know, sweetie pie, something a little less chemically sounding. So Reagan was sworn in its president,

January 21st, 1981, Rumsfeld, while still CEO at Searle, was part of Reagan's transition team. This team handpicked Dr. Arthur Hall Hayes Jr. to be the new FDA commissioner. Dr. Hayes, a pharmacologist, had no previous experience with food additives before being appointed director of the FDA. And he approved Aspartame? On January 21st, 1981, the day after Ronald Reagan's inauguration, Reagan issued an executive order eliminating the FDA commissioner's authority to take action, and Searle reapplied to the FDA

for approval to use Aspertainment Food Sweetener. All right. Rock and roll. Hayes Reagan's new FDA appointed a five-person scientific commission to review the Board of Inquiry's decision, it soon became clear that the panel would uphold the band. No, no, uphold it. They would still say... Oh, fuck. No.

Okay? So, Hayes installed a sixth member... Good. On the commission, and the vote became deadlocked. He then personally broke the tie in Asper Tame's favor. Well, then the rest is history. The rest is delicious history.

The rest is... It's complete fucking corruption. Oh, man. I mean, yeah, but it never tasted... so good. One of his first official acts as FDA chief was to approve the use of aspartame as an artificial sweetener. How much were they paying this guy? Well, I mean, fucking Rumsfeld probably was set to make a huge amount of money. He was the CEO of this company selling off parts for it. He was like, we own the fucking patent for Aspartame, but we can't get the

approval for it. What if, you know, when Ronnie Reagan gets in office, we get him to appoint a new guy. and then even when he gets that they still lose three to two and then he's like shit just add a fucking you know what add a sixth one and then we'll have you'll have them break you know what though

they got always coming to them they're dead they live long lives just like you if you keep drinking that garbage I'm not going to die of anything Diet Coke related and even if I did you can't prove it Hayes left his post at the FDA in November 1983 amid accusations that he was accepting corporate gifts for political favors

Just before leaving office and scandal, Hayes approved the use of aspartame and beverages. Before I die, I just want everyone to know, aspartame is good and tasty. So, and then, you know where he left? You know where he went to when he left? Heaven. He served as provost at New York Medical College and then took a position as a high-paid senior medical advisor with Burstyn Marsteller, the chief public relations firm for both Monsanto. and G.D. Cyril. I'll tell you where I'm burst in my belly for a can of Diet Coke right

about now. This is making me thirsty. That is fucking insane. The amount of corruption that these guys have is truly, I, it, um, I do wonder what they are saying to themselves at night before they go to bed. Oh, I'll tell you what they're saying. What? Hell yes. Oh, man, this $12 million bonus is pretty sweet. When Searle was absorbed by Monsanto in 1985, Donald Rumsfeld reported, to reportedly received a $12 million bonus. Ooh, man, that could buy a lot of Diet Coke. In 1985, that's a lot of Diet Coke. Oh, yeah, that's like fucking $50 million now.

Jeez Louise. I wish I could be absorbing something right now. That something is Diet Coke. Straight into my gullet down my, into my bloodstream. Man, I'm definitely going to get one after that. That's the kind of shit that freaks me out where it's like, it may, I have no idea what it actually does, but it's certainly got approved under various extremely corrupt oh fuck my funny bone extremely corrupt the thing is emil it's like they say that when you for every 10 miles an hour over the speed limit you go it really only takes

off like 10 seconds of your of your destination time or one minute or something so you speeding on the freeway is really so pointless over the course of like a 30 mile trip you're saving two minutes which is underscoring the point that it's pointless and dangerous to speed, right? So, too, I believe that, hey, you're going to die anyway and there are so many other carcinogenic things, especially living here in Los Angeles where there's just break dust as part of the air everywhere.

I mean, I know that it's not, I'm being facetious, but I'm like, hey, if I got to live two years shorter but I get to enjoy some Diet Coke, brother, crack me open a can. Yeah, that's right. but like I think depending on there's there's levels to this right like I'm not like nuts I'm not like a raw vegan or anything like fucking you don't pocket mulch I don't even know what that is it's a Simpsons reference but okay but but there are some foods where I'm like that is why

that is clearly gonna yeah I mean that but that doesn't even that that that that's That feels like a really shitty metaphor. I mean, like, eating poorly and doing all these things does have an adverse effect. I know. I'm saying that I'm one, if, if my one vice is going to be something, it's going to be Diet Coke. Also, I'm little B right now. I'm under, I'm lowercase Ben. For the audio listener, I am slunked in my chair. I don't know.

Even, is it that funny? It is pretty funny. Okay. It's pretty funny. But go on. Yeah, you're going to. Yeah, I mean, I'm not saying don't drink that cook, do whatever. I definitely do think that there's something to be said for.

I just think reading that and being like, oh, man, diet cook is completely fine. It's not what I would take away from it. It's not completely fine. And who knows how it reacts with my fucking Lexapro and whatever other shit I'm putting in my body on a regular basis. I'm pretty healthy otherwise, aside from the occasional cheeky cigarette. Yeah. So cheeky. I'm not about to drink 17 cans every day for the rest of my life.

But, yeah. I mean, put it to you this way. Put it to me. My neighbor, my neighbor. Also, that's someone who has a, has heart issues in there. Me, my heart is perfect. It's perfect. It's the, it is the shining example of a healthy heart.

Sure. So said my 90-year-old cardiologist right before he retired. And probably said to my dad a month before he died. because he went to see that same cardiologist. Any hoomst. Yeah, I don't know. I'm mostly healthy. I think that I'm going to start taking it a little more seriously as I.

I'll tell you what I'll do. I'm not perfect. I'm trying to. I've stopped drinking a lot. I used to drink so much. Alcohol? Yeah. Which is worse for you, do you think?

Alcohol or? Probably the booze. Probably? You think? I have no idea, but the booze is not good. And I mean, I used to be the same thing. It's like if, you know, booze and the occasional psychedelics are my only. Do you think, I don't think psychedelics are that bad for you.

Probably not, no. I think the booze is really, like, I was like, this is, why am I doing this? But you can have, you can have a can of wine every now and then? Sure, but that's not what I was doing. I was having, like, 15 cans of wine. Damn, dude, you're drinking canned wine? No, I was making a joke because you said. Damn, now I want a canned wine.

wine um yeah now i'll occasionally have a wine but and the cigarettes it's like can't fucking yeah they're everywhere right yeah they're right in your face too they're so in your face about it yeah i wonder if the supreme what the supreme court won't chime in on that ever they'll never take my canned wines and cigarettes no they won't because that that's now they're they're back they're backtracking on fucking nicotine now in fact i would not be surprised dead serious I would not be surprised. The Supreme Court ruled something about how actually cigarettes are safe now. Dude, cigarettes are back in a big way.

Yeah. Everyone's smoking cigarettes again. And just nicotine is back in a big way. I'm chewing nicotine gum. It's great. But like Tucker Carlson and these right-wing people, I think it was you I was talking to about this. They're just now on a rampage of everything that they've ever told us is bad for us is good

and everything that they've ever said is good for us is bad. Right. And I saw them railing on Twitter about how actually sunglasses are bad for you. And they're trying to make you wear sunglasses because they're trying to, fuck it, you're supposed to be not staring at the sun, but like it's actually healthy. What, is it some like Huberman shit? I don't know. I really don't know.

But yeah, now they're talking about how the Western world was built on nicotine and caffeine, therefore it's good. It's like, sure, okay. Yeah, that's certain. just because it was built that way it was also built on slavery does that mean slavery is good you did well absolute income poop i think if you were to ask them behind closed doors they might be like that's where we're trying to get back yeah we're trying to get back to that actually this is kind of a soft launch for slavery oh geez man we're trying to get back into the tobacco

states i think that's a good place to wrap this one that's probably a good place to wrap this one i'm starving and i'm shaking it's probably because of that coffee i drank if only was a diet coke it would be a nice clean high also nobody's listening or watching anymore at this point you don't think so no i don't think so if you are sound off in the comments if you are sound off in the comments anywhere yeah just scream out your window crash your car don't do that anyway love you very much thank you for watching