The Ben Mulroney Show - 10,000 Moves in 10 Years: Helping Survivors of Gender Based Violence

Episode Date: October 7, 2026

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. On today's episode of "The Ben Mulroney Show," Ben welcomes best-selling author, Shantelle Bisson, Shelter Movers' Gala Chair. And Jessica Vitalis, a long-standing Shelter Movers volunteer and survivor of domestic violence.   Shelter Movers approaches its 10-year anniversary this November, having helped survivors of gender based violence leave unsafe situations through more than 10,000 moves across Canada. Instagram: @sheltermovers Youtube: @sheltermovers  Twitter/X: @sheltermovers If you enjoyed the podcast, tell a friend! For more of the Ben Mulroney Show, subscribe to the podcast! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://link.chtbl.com/bms⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Also, on youtube -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@BenMulroneyShow⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Ben on Twitter/X at https://x.com/BenMulroney Insta: ⁠⁠⁠@benmulroneyshow⁠⁠⁠ Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠@benmulroneyshow⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠@benmulroneyshow⁠⁠⁠   Executive Producer:  Mike Drolet Reach out to Mike with story ideas or tips at [e-mail] Enjoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Standard messaging and data rates may apply. I got stopped on the subway today. Someone said that they liked listening to our podcast, and I thought that was wonderful. Some people are listening on the radio right now, and they should know that if they don't have the chance to listen on the radio, they can, listen as a podcast on YouTube video on Spotify and Apple Music and on Amazon music. We like to be wherever our listeners and viewers are. And we thank you for allowing us into your lives in any way that you see fit. So October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

And every now and then you get exposed to a side of it that sort of opens your eyes to the mountain that a woman has to climb when she. She makes the decision that the life that she's leading with abuse as part of that equation is it's time to close the book on that. And one of the questions that has to be answered is, when I decide I'm going to leave, where am I going to go? Where am I going to go? And there is an organization called Shelter Movers that helps survivors of gender-based violence leave unsafe situations. and they're approaching their 10-year anniversary, more than 10,000 moves across Canada.

And very pleased to be joined to discuss this with a long-time friend of mine. She's the Shelter Movers' gala chair, Chantal Beissonne, and hopefully a new friend, Jessica Vitalis, a long-standing shelter-movers, volunteer and survivor of domestic violence. To the both of you, I say thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having us, Ben. It's great to be sitting here chatting with you about this very important issue. Shantelle. We are pleasure. Yes, thank you. We'll start with you, Shantel, because you're the gala chair. What made you want to take on that role?

What made me want to take on this role is that I grew up in a violent household. My father was an alcoholic and very abusive. And so when I recognized that there was a place that could really make a difference for women and children who didn't have. of the benefits that I had as a child, which was, you know, I had a very, very strong mother who was incredibly capable. And, you know, we had somewhat of a safety net within the friendships and relationships that she had of the very limited people who knew what we were enduring as a mother with her three children. So I had that privilege when you're in a terrible situation like that. So when I recognized that there was an organization that needed some support that needed somebody to get behind them and champion them and help bring it to the media, to bring it to the people of Toronto who have the means to be able to make a difference

in the lives of these women and children, it was just a no-brainer for me to get involved. And Jessica, you've been on both sides of it. You've been a survivor of domestic violence and now you're part of the organization that helps women with similar experiences get out. out of those experiences. How important is that, what I said off the top, having that place to land when you finally leave? How important is it to being successful in freeing oneself? No, it's absolutely essential.

Like Chantel, my experience with domestic violence is really based in my childhood experiences, but an organization like shelter movers didn't exist when I was a kid. And so I remember asking my mother very clearly, why don't we just leave? and she looked at me and said, I'm unemployed. I don't have a vehicle. I don't have any money. We have nowhere to go. We have no way to get out of this situation.

And so organizations like shelter movers can quite literally make the difference for people who are trying to leave difficult situations. But it's also, correct me if I'm wrong, what little I know is that so much of this planning that a woman who's enduring something she should never have to endure, it has to be done as discreetly as possible. You know, the person you're with, the person you're supposed to trust and feel safe with is anything but, and therefore they are a wild card and you don't know how they're going to react if the food is, that you serve them is too cold, let alone what they're going to do if they find out that you're squirling away money and you're planning to leave. So how important is it? How much of the process is done under the cover of darkness?

Well, exactly. All of that is so important for people to understand. And, you know, Jessica's lived experience is very different than mine. My mom was independent outside of the household. She did have a job. She did, you know, quote unquote, have means. But it still was a difficult thing to extradite yourself from, to unwind from. And it is because of all the things that you've just listed. You know, it can't be done quickly. It can't be done easily. You're often dealing with somebody who's unstable. unpredictable, who's watching you, who's got other people watching you. Like it's a whole, it's a web. You're literally in the center of a spider's web. And what we're seeing through our work at shelter removers is that a lot of times what's happening now and is more and more prevalent is that

they are women who are already isolated. They're isolated because they're new to the country. They're isolated because their family is in a different province. It always happens that these women are already vulnerable and they are already without any support or resource or anybody to turn to. So you put all those things together when you've also got somebody who's controlling the purse strings. And it's nearly impossible for these women to get out. And this is what people need to understand, like, you know, the why doesn't she just leave? And these people are often very emotionally manipulative, narcissistic, sociopathic tendencies. And they've got you wound up to believe that you're worthless.

that there's nowhere for you to go, nobody wants you, nobody wants to help you. So it's just very, not only is it physically often complicated for these women, but they're also mentally beaten down. So it's just, it's so, it's so layered and deeply, deeply troubling that it's just not as easy as getting up and leaving. So yes, to your point, it does take an awful lot of planning and in the dead of night, essentially. And to keep in mind, too, that these women and children are leaving with two bags. Shelters can only allow two bags.

There are often pets being left behind. Like, it's just, it's very, very complicated. Yeah. Gosh, there's so many threads I want to pull at right now. So I'm just going with the last one that popped in my head. And, you know, the one thing I know about women in abusive situations is, especially when they're mothers, they will prioritize the health and safety of their children over theirs. 10 times out of 10. Meaning if there's violence in the home,

if the, if the woman can ensure that she is the focal point of that anger, that she'll do it. She'll take it for the kids. So when a woman approaches you, Jessica, even if she's just like she's testing, she's testing the waters, are those questions you ask?

And what happens? Does a woman become more eager to leave if the violence, if she can't contain the violence to herself anymore? So that is actually a terrific question, and that goes beyond the scope of shelter movers. So we operate on a referral system where we are referred to clients through approved agencies such as police, emergency shelters, social workers. So those people would all be considered sort of first-line resources for survivors, where the planning would happen with the social workers, and then they would be referred to us

to work through the logistics of what they need in order to facilitate a safe way. move. So if a woman is listening right now, or if a friend of a woman is listening right now and knows of somebody who they think, wow, this is something we should look into, what's the process? Jessica, I'll ask you. Okay, perfect. Well, first of all, you can find more information about shelter movers specifically on our website, sheltermovers.com. Second of all, I would suggest that they start with a website called sheltersafe.ca. That's a place where they can go to start getting information about the different options that are available, and that website can direct them to different resources.

Another thing would just be to start with a simple search about what agencies are available in their immediate area. And of course, if a woman or a child is in immediate danger, they should always call 911 as the first action no matter what. But start locally, and then the local resources there can set you up to be referred to our services where we can start the logistics of the move planning. Well, we still hold. Yeah, so then, sorry.

Hold that thought because we've got much more to talk about on the other side of the break. And I do want to talk about the positive. I want to talk about this gala, the moving affair. It's on Friday, November 6th at the Ritz Carlton in Toronto. I want to find out what an event like that is going to be like. We've got lots more to discuss right here on the Ben Mulroney show. So don't go anywhere. The conversation continues after the break.

Bears repeating that October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. And there is an incredible event happening in the city of. of Toronto. And it's happening next Friday, November 6th at the Ritz Carlton Hotel. It's called a moving affair. And it is in celebration and in furtherance of shelter movers that helps survivors of gender-based violence leave unsafe situations. And I'm speaking with two members of that team, Chantelle Bisson. She is the, she's the gala chair and Jessica Vitalis.

She's a shelter-movers volunteer and a survivor of domestic violence. Ladies, thank you so much for sticking around. No problem, no problem. I just wanted to finish what we were saying before we went on the break is that, you know, the important work that Shelter Movers does is what happens after women and children are in shelters. And, you know, the time has lapsed. They need to make a move out. So that's where they're getting their support with Shelter Movers.

We have storage. We have donated furniture. Women and children can start rebuilding their lives with furniture. that we can provide and with moves that are, you know, completely donor covered and no cost to them to get into their new homes to, you know, to begin their new saved lives together. So that's the work that shelters, shelter removers does. We're not placing women and children into shelters, but we're removing them from them. Of course. Jessica, it's, it's got to be one of the hardest things to do must be to get a survivor of domestic violence to begin things.

thinking of themselves first in order to be the best versions of themselves for the kids, if there are in fact kids? Yeah, I think that's an important point. And that's something that the social workers work with them on to help them assess. Do they need to get out of this situation immediately? Do we have time to do some planning and to get shelter movers involved? So that's, again, something that all is done on the front lines. But something that I really want to emphasize is that shelter movers is really the only

organization of its kind in Canada. we have over 2,000 volunteers that help move around 2,200 families every single year. And our service is really designed to help overcome the financial costs and the logistical barriers and the security risks of leaving a relationship once the survivor has decided that they absolutely have to get out of the situation. Well, because in a lot of cases, they don't, they have very little independence. They don't have their own bank accounts. They don't have their own stream of income. They don't have the ability to just, like I said, squirrel money away.

And so this is this this is those burdens, those friction points, those choke points are, I have to believe significant barriers for them to even consider leaving what they already know is not the situation they should be in. Chantelle. Yeah, 100%. So, you know, again, it goes back to the complexity of all of this. And, you know, the other thing that we need to discuss is that government funding is decreasing across the board for. lots of foundations and there are a lot of good places for people to take their, you know, their interests, their personality, their wallets to. However, you know, when we've got a situation where we're seeing a government reducing care and consideration for our most vulnerable

children and, of course, women, it's a huge concern. And this is why we have the gala is because we need more funding. We need the increase in women. and that need our services is growing exponentially. And with funding being reduced and almost entirely removed for these sorts of, you know, organizations such as ours, this is why we need Trontonians and Canadians to come to the table because, you know, we can't build a great country if we're not taking care of the upcoming generation. And children who are raised in these situations can feel hopeless.

They don't excel at school because they're stressed. They're weighed down. I mean, it's just, it's a terrible situation. No child should grow up in this kind of environment. So this is why we're calling on Toronto, and this is why we're so grateful to be on the show with you and with your listeners. It's like, you know, please come to the gal if you can. We sell individual tickets.

There's still sponsorship available for corporations. There's a CEO listening right now. You know, we've got a lot of opportunities for. people to get involved in. And, you know, it doesn't always have to be with your, with your money. We do need volunteers. Again, like Jessica's saying, you know, we've completed over 10,000 moves and there are many more moves coming our way. So there's a lot that we need. And there are different levels for various people to get involved, which whatever way is, you know, the way that they can give back and be of service. Well, let's, let's open the door to that. You want people to show

up. You want people to donate. You want people to have fun at this event. You want sponsors. So let's start at the beginning. Where can people get more information? I'll let Jessica answer that because I've been talking so much. Well, the very best place to find information is, of course, at sheltermovers.com. And as Chantel just said, you can get information about the terrific event there that happening on November 6th, which is a fantastic opportunity to directly support the organization. If you're not available for that event, then there's lots of other ways to get involved.

I personally have been a volunteer for over two years. So you can volunteer as a mover who actually shows up and helps survivors move their belongings from one location to another. If you don't have the physical ability to help with the moving, we're always in need of people who are willing to drive. We always use rental vehicles for the move. So we need drivers for the cube trucks. We need drivers for the transportation that transports the volunteers back and forth. And I also volunteer at community events where I just man booths to raise awareness, to recruit, volunteers. And so there are really a lot of different ways to get involved. But it all starts

with the website, sheltermovers.com. It starts with the website and the Instagram is shelter movers. YouTube is shelter movers. Uh, X is shelter movers. So yes, consistency across all platforms. I like that very much. Okay. Let's talk about the party itself. If somebody says that their first interaction with shelter movers is going to be at the Ritz. Uh, that's, that's not, not too shabby. So, uh, Shantelle, what do you have planned? So we have a plan. So again, it's a very heavy conversation to be having. And, you know, we don't want people to come in and feel overwhelmed or feel despondent. We want people to come and feel hopeful because this is really what Shelter Movers is doing. This is the whole basis of the organization is hope. It's new beginnings. It's joy.

It's celebration. It's all those things. So when you come to the event, you know, you're greeted immediately with, you know, a fun step and repeat, a great portrait studio, you know, a signature cocktail, past delicious foods. You come into the party because it is a party. Again, we are celebrating the resiliency of women. Shantel, look, when there's an event to raise money for breast cancer awareness or funding for breast cancer research, you're not there bemoaning the existence of breast cancer. You are there looking for hope.

And the same goes here. We got to take the world as it is. And the world is a messy, dangerous place with really bad people in it. So this is a celebration of the people who are trying to get out of those situations. Exactly, exactly. So, and that's what we're doing. We're celebrating. There's dance that, you know, there are, there's, there's art being performed through music and through dance and there's great live auction items. I mean, you know, I happen to be married to that guy, Murdoch and their season 20 and they're doing. Yeah, I heard some by him. I heard some by him. There's just a little bit going around about him right now. It's a big deal. Just want to point out just, as Shatel, you opened the door, so I'm going to walk through. I just want to point out, I've known you for, eh, going on two decades. I've been in this city for 25 years. I, I have. I, haven't been on Murdoch mysteries once. I even been invited. I could have been

a dead body. I could have been a street urchin. I could have been one of those old-timey cops with a mustache. I mean, Jesus. Stephen Harper was on the show. But no, nothing for Ben Ben. Just saying. Okay. We didn't know you were interested. Now you've made it public. You better watch out because it's going to happen for you. But hey, come to shelter movers.

Been on the walk on and you'll be on no problem for sure. But you know, that's something that we're giving away as well. You know, it's like the Murdoch fans, it's a great opportunity for them to come out. They get to be with Yannick. They get to get photos with Yannick at the event. And when, you know, have a chance to win a walk-on just with some of our other fun, like we have a be-a-real-housewives for the day with Luann. Countess Luan is generously donating tickets and then a meet-and-grreet.

And, you know, you'll go to the spa before. You'll go have a great lunch at one before. So, you know, we have fun things going on. And just all, you know, the intention here. is to not only raise awareness, but make new friends, bring in new people to help us make a difference for a greater, better, new Canada. Well, until today, I didn't know about this important organization. So you've raised awareness in at least one person, and I'm speaking into a microphone to a whole bunch of other people. So I think that's in and of itself a win.

But Jessica, Chantal, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for sharing the story of shelter movers. Thank you for the good and decent work you're doing on behalf of women who deserve. what we all deserve. So thank you very much. And I'll remind people if they want to find out more information, then go to the website, they can go to Instagram, they can go to X, they can go to YouTube at Shelter Movers.

So thank you both very much. And I wish you the best for this event. Thank you, Bren. Thank you so much. All right. It was a pleasure.