The Ben Mulroney Show - The Dilemma Panel - Can men and women be friends?

Episode Date: May 14, 2025

The Dilemma Panel Guest: Caitlin Green, Media personality and Co-host of the Jann Arden podcast Guest: David Cooper, Host of The Last Show with David Cooper on the Corus Radio Network If you enjoyed the podcast, tell a friend! For more of the Ben Mulroney Show, subscribe to the podcast! https://globalnews.ca/national/program/the-ben-mulroney-show Follow Ben on Twitter/X at https://x.com/BenMulroney Enjoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Get 50% off lens upgrades in the Specsavers Spring Sale. Hey, I can upgrade my kids! You chill, Mom. I'll load the dishwasher. Awesome! Exclusions apply. I'll load the dishwasher. Awesome! Exclusions apply. See Specsavers.ca for details. Offer ends soon. Welcome to the Dilemma Panel. No question is too awkward.

No problem too petty. And no opinion goes unchallenged. Our panel of overthinkers is here to dissect, deliberate, and sometimes derail the conversation entirely. Grab your popcorn. This isn't just advice. It's a front row seat to life's most hilariously relatable train wrecks. Here's your host, Ben Mulrooney. Welcome back to the Ben Mulrooney show. Thank you so much for joining us. And already today we've talked a lot of politics. We've talked Carney, we've talked cabinet, we've talked with Pierre Poliev. So now it's time for the cleansing tonic that is the Dilemma Panel.

And if you have a personal dilemma, homegrown dilemma, an issue in your life that you want resolved, then look no further than the Ben Mulroney show. Email us at askben at chorusent.com. That's C-O-R-U-S-E-N-T.com. And of course, it wouldn't be a panel if it was just me. That's just not how they work. So let's welcome to the panel for the very first time,

Caitlin Green. She's a media personality and cohost of the Jan Arden podcast. Caitlin, welcome. Thank you so much. It's great to be here. And we've got David Cooper, good friend of the show and host of the last show with David Cooper

on the Chorus Radio Network. David, welcome back. My goodness, what a pleasure. David, you have very, very big glasses. I know, my personality is mostly glasses and I have other qualities. Are they as heavy as they look or are they light as a feather?

They are, I don't have to go to the gym, I just need to. Just squat with those glasses on and you're gonna get the quads of steel that we all want. All right, so here's how it works, Kaelin. I'm gonna read, because David knows this, I'm going to read the dilemma. And then we're going to jump right into solving these all important issues to the benefit,

not just of the listening public and the person whose dilemma it is, but for the world writ large. All right, let's jump right into the- It's like an educational segment. Yes. Dilemma number one, can a man and a woman who are both straight be just friends slash best friends? I ask because I'm in a relationship

and while I have no female friends, my girlfriend has a few guy friends. I told her that while I trust her, I don't trust that all her male friends simply want friendship. I feel like they're waiting in the wings for our relationship to stumble. Am I wrong?

Can men and women actually be friends? Well, I'm very glad I've got a man and a woman on the panel. It's a very Harry and Sally sort of situation. So Caitlin, let's start with you. I think you need to find out how attractive her male friends are. Yeah.

OK, yeah. I think if she has like smoking hot, very eligible platonic friends who she is spending a lot of intimate time with, so solo dinners, drinks, not just like a lunch and an occasional phone call, then I think that is probably more troubling. Now, what about in your life? Have you ever had a guy who's just like a friend, a quote unquote friend who just sort of like hovers around and waits for the relationship to hit the rocks?

I'm here for you, Caitlin. I know you're going through a rough time. I just want you to know I can be your shoulder to cry on. Yeah, I'm here for you. Caitlin. I know you're going through a rough time. I just want you to know I can be your shoulder to cry on. Yeah, I'm here for you and then I'm just here. No, I don't, not blatantly, but you can't rule it out. I definitely had platonic male friendships where at some point in the friendship, they would express a romantic interest and then you kind of both collectively have to decide if you want to move forward and stay friends. But I've had a lot of very platonic male friendships.

A lot of them, you meet them at work and it's just not the vibe. But I would say it's just people who you quickly assess, you have no chemistry with, but probably like some of the same stuff. Maybe you like the same bands, stand-up comedy, whatever that is that you're going to bond over. And I think that that is possible.

David, or Harry, what do you think? Strong opinions here. I hate that Caitlin said you got to evaluate someone's looks and then decide if you're significant or if I can be friends with them. My girlfriend does this and it irks me. It's like you're deciding whether I can be friends on someone for the most superficial reason.

No, and it's not superficial. It is not. Your girlfriend is smart. She is taking the world as it is, not as she wants it to be. And I got to jump in, and then I'm going to let you continue here. But we have to call a spade a spade. We are a visual world.

We interact with it with our eyes first. And in all these, every scenario is different, because everybody's level of hotness is different. And when I say hotness, it depends on the eye of the beholder. What you see is hot. Right. And so I think anybody can be friends with anybody so long as they're not attracted to them. Bad values, bad values, bad values. It's just a it's a recognition of fact.

And and there are a bunch of dudes who've got in their eyes, hot platonic friends, and they feel that they are at the level of hotness that she would find attractive if only that other guy wasn't there. Well, I don't know about you guys, but I trust my significant other. Like I trust them to have boundaries. And even if this is someone who they would hook up with if they were single, that doesn't bother me because we're together. And then if we break up and they hook up, it doesn't bother me that they were friends. I trust my partner and I see the best in people and I think men and women can be friends and I know I'm talking over you, so go ahead. Kaitlin, what do you think to that? Because I think you and I are probably more closely aligned

in our worldview here than David, who seems to be living in some sort of fantasy land. Well, we've already established based on the size of David's glasses, that maybe this is just a vision issue for you. I'm really ugly, and so I can't be friends with anyone if they're the same level of hotness as me. It's like, it is also chemistry for sure. It's just, I think that what this particular person who wrote in

is experiencing is some very on-its-face insecurities. And I'm just curious as to whether or not he's talking about like a jacked six foot five firefighter who is like going out for dinners with his girlfriend, because that would be troubling to everyone. And to him, I would say you're only human. Yeah. So I think what we're all saying here is to the person who wrote in, like, if you're hot enough, you've got nothing to worry about. is to the person who wrote in, like, if you're hot enough, you've got nothing to worry about. I'm not saying that. No, no, I am saying that.

I'm kidding. I'm saying that. OK, let's move on to dilemma number two. Dear Ben, I'm in my early 30s, which seems to be prime time for everyone I know to start having babies. I'm genuinely happy for my friends, but there's one part of this phase that drives me absolutely

up the wall, gender reveals. I can't stand them, the over-the-top theatrics, the confetti canons. It all feels so performative and unnecessary and I secretly think that people who throw them are narcissists who just want attention. Whatever happened to just picking up the phone and telling your family and friends you're having a boy or a girl, the worst part is you're expecting to bring a gift on top of the fact that there are baby showers too. Tell me I'm not wrong. I'm gonna go first.

You're not wrong. I find those things ridiculous. They are at their most ridiculous when people put them on social media. That's I I have attended I and they're fine and the food's good and the drink is always flowing. But I just I find them unnecessary. David, you go first. At best, the ridiculous there are just a weird display of gender norms. At worst, they play out like this. It's a boy fireworks California burns down. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Those are the ones that always go viral. They always go viral. Kaylin. Yeah, I think it's disheartening because then you discover that maybe someone who you've

hung out with and thought was normal for years is a gender reveal person. And I think that's yeah, disturbing part of it all. Um, and the, like And like you said, the ensuing photo shoots and the posting on social media, although I do really enjoy watching a gender reveal fail on social media. Yeah, I think we all do. Yeah, and you're right. When the fireworks go awry. I mean, I saw a really nice one where they just

flushed a toilet and the color of the water swirling in the drain was either blue or pink. I was like, that's a gender reveal I can get behind. That social commentary, I like it. Yeah, yeah. Okay, dilemma number three. Dear Ben, a few weeks ago, I did a nice thing and gave a coworker a ride home after a late shift.

I was on my way, it was raining, and I didn't mind helping out once, but now it's turned into a thing. They wait for me after work like it's a given. They do offer gas money, which I appreciate. But honestly, I don't want the money. I want my peace. My drive home is my decompression time. I listen to podcasts, zone out or call my mom. Now I feel like having to make small talk or just sit in an awkward silence while presenting the whole situation. I don't want to be mean, but I also don't want to become someone's

unofficial Uber. How do I get out of this without creating weird tension at work signed faith, David? Wonderful optimistic advice from my father, no act of kindness goes unpunished. Your screwed car, your screwed writer. In future, don't be nice to people suffering the consequences of your actions. I don't know what you say. I don't know how you get out of this one without making it awkward. Caitlin, that was deliciously heartless advice from David.

It was. Yeah. From the man who thinks that we can all be friends. Yeah, we can all be friends and everybody's the same level of hotness. Yeah. I'm an optimist when it comes to gender relations. I'm not when it comes to being nice to people. Caitlin, how do you get out of this? You lean into the mom phone call. You just say, you know, this is the only time my poor mom and I get to connect

and she's really missing it. Throw a grandma in there, but lean into the polite lie of, this is my phone call with my family who lives far away time. And I really, it's uncomfortable, but I can't keep doing it with you. Yeah, and I would slap lie upon lie upon lie.

There's always another reason for you to go out of here. You're not going home right after work. You're going in a completely different direction. You're meeting friends after work for coffee. You've got a meeting after a meeting after a meeting. There's so many ways you can get out of that. You've been nice. You do not have to continue.

So create a facade. Create a character that just needs to be. Or hey, you don't want to be her unofficial Uber. Just say you start driving for Uber right after work. The clock is on and you got to get paid. So faith, just lie your way out of that one and you'll be okay. All right, don't go anywhere much, much more

with the Dilemma Panel after the break right here on the Ben Mulroney Show. This is the Ben Mulroney Show and very pleased to continue the conversation with my Dilemma Panel. Kaitlin Green and David Cooper are here solving your everyday problems. Welcome back guys. Oh yes, thank you.

Yes indeed. All right, let's jump right in. Dear Ben, I'm currently engaged in a silent, slow burning battle with my boyfriend over the garbage. Neither of us has officially claimed trash duty, but over time I've noticed that if I don't take it out, it just sits there. So recently I decided to test a theory. What if just, what if I just didn't? What if I just waited him out?

Well, we are now two stubborn adults living with a trash can that's overflowing above the rim. Empty boxes are being stacked like Jenga. I know this sounds petty, but I'm tired of silently being the one who breaks first. How do I end this ridiculous standoff without turning it into a blowout fight about trash? Signed Nancy. Caitlin, you want to take this one first? This seems like a layup. Oh my gosh, take the trash out, Nancy. That's like I can't live like that. And if he does something else in the house that you don't want to do, then you can just say this is the way the tasks are going to be distributed. For whatever reason, he has garbage blindness. Maybe he has some smell issues based on the fact that there's garbage piling up all the time and he's not noticing. But I just don't want Nancy to live this life. And I think she should just light the want to be happy? Like, pick a pick a pick a side. It's pretty simple. David, what about you?

Who's going to take your garbage out when I've packed my bags and gone? That's a great tune by the way. Yeah, I had this problem with my girlfriend. I was taking out the cat litter too much and it was annoying me. So as a favor to her, I basically said, why don't we do this? You feed him every day and I'll do this chore that you refuse to do and then we'll feel like we're both doing something. So you should probably take out that trash Nancy, if he refuses to do it, but say, Hey, I'm doing that. You got to do another chore that you find more palatable. I do think guys that there's, I mean, this is a red flag that you're living with somebody who doesn't mind living with a pile of filth in the house.

somebody who doesn't mind living with a pile of filth in the house. Like I don't know that that bodes well for building a mature relationship in the future. If you don't care about garbage in your house, there's a lack of attention to detail there that should be concerning. No, Kaitlin? Yeah. And I, but I, and I question whether or not this is the only way in which he is gross, because it is shocking. So if he's gross in a bunch of ways and you have to have an intervention about

personal hygiene or cleanliness, then you need to have that. But if it really is isolated to just this one thing, you're going to have to just chalk it up to distribution of labor in the household and take the garbage out. It's terrifying me to think about this Jenga box situation. And the fact that she is more than willing to like live with the garbage. She wants to live with the garbage more than she wants to have a conversation about the garbage to me is concerning as well as you got. If you can't have a conversation with your with with your boyfriend,

your live in boyfriend about the like a pretty simple thing, the division of labor within the apartment or the house. You got some bigger problems there, but that's not a problem for us to solve here. We've solved the dilemma of the garbage. All right, next one. Dear Ben, my wife and I are expecting our first child, a boy, and while we're excited,

there's one thing casting a bit of shadow. My dad really wants us to name the baby after him. He hasn't exactly asked, more likely heavily hinted, repeatedly to the point where it's becoming uncomfortable. I know it would mean a lot to him and I love him and respect him, but I just don't want to name my son after him. I'm dreading the moment we announced the name and he realizes it's not his.

Any word of advice signed Sam. Well I've got, listen, my grandfather's name was Benedict. Ben had a Brian, my dad. Brian had a Ben. I had a Brian. So we're- That's your dad. Yeah, yeah.

So we're going back. It wasn't something we actively sought to do, but my dad's name was actually Martin Brian Mulrooney. And so my other brothers, their sons, have Brian as a middle name. And so Sam, my recommendation would be give your son your dad's name as a middle name and name them whatever you want. And that way, you know, you're giving him a little bit of a victory. And if he gives you if he gives you a problem with that, say, this is my kid, you named your kid what you wanted. I named

my kid what I wanted. Then we move on. Caitlin, you're nodding in agreement. I've solved it. Yeah, I 100% agree. But I'm also so curious as to what his dad's name is. What if his dad's name is something like Fauntleroy and you don't even want it for a middle name and you just you can't tell your dad that you don't like his name. So that's the only caveat. But yeah, without knowing that, just do the middle name thing and move on. Yeah. I was gonna say your dad's a man child, learn to draw a boundary,

but I actually like your solution better, Ben. Yeah, I sort of want him to maintain a relationship with his dad. I think that's sort of the goal of the Dilemma panel. It's not to create more problems for our listeners. Well, that's your goal. That's my goal. Yeah, yeah. Just light the whole thing on fire. That's your suggestion. No, I do think that the dad has overstepped a line by injecting himself into a conversation

that is not his to participate in. Like, I have a lot of friends who will not tell people what they're naming their kid because they don't want that Those unsolicited opinions, but this is this is taking that even a step further like this is a person who's just starting a conversation I'm expecting you to do this And so I think the father has absolutely crossed the line and so Caitlin you're right If you don't if you don't like the dad's name then do nothing and force the issue in a conversation later But you have every right to do what you want with your kid It's your kid and if your dad wants a issue in a conversation later. But you have every right to do what you want with your kid. It's your kid. And if your dad wants a name, have a kid named after him,

he should have a kid, another kid and do that. But I think that would be a whole other kettle of fish. Okay, next one. What are you doing to these poor fish in the kettle? We're taking from the fish, from the kettle. We're putting them in a barrel and we're shooting them. Okay, so you're not boiling them at least. Thank goodness you're not boiling them.

Okay, here is a classic Reddit, am I the a-hole? Am I the a-hole for refusing to sign my parents' house, which is under my name, over to my wife if I die? Oh my, this is specific. In 2008, my parents lost most of their money and it got to the point where they were no longer able to afford their house. My dad is quite a bit older than my mom,

and his biggest worry is that he's not able to leave her enough to live and pay for a home slash rent without having to be financially reliant on me. The plan we came up with is that they would put the down payment on the house that would be in my name. I would make the payments while they live in it. I love my parents very much, so I agreed to this deal. Plus it would end up being a good investment for me long term. Here's the problem. I have the house

in a trust. In the event I die, the ownership of the house will transfer to my parents and then transfer to my partner slash offspring. Once they pass away, my wife wants me to change the trust to have the deed of the property go to her instead of my parents. She says she of course will let them live there, but wants control of the property. While I trust my wife, I don't even want to allow any room for my parents to not be taken care of. She absolutely refuses to see it from my perspective. Who's the a-hole here?

David, we'll start with you. I don't know, this sounds like one of those deep values fights where you get an update from the person a year later and they're divorced. Like, I don't know how you resolve this. This is like a really fundamental beliefs about family, about what you should be doing with money. And these kinds of fights run deep. If it were me, well, I would just let my parents go to the wolves. But if I loved my pit, which I do, by the way, I would

maybe like hold my line here. Yeah, you know, they're my family and I want to take care of them. And I don't know, this seems like it's indicative of a bigger problem. Again, like the wife seems to be pushing, creating a problem that doesn't need to exist because correct me if I'm wrong. I mean, it says that in the event that he dies, the ownership of the house will transfer the parents and then transfer to my partner slash offspring once they pass away. So so long as it's, it's, it's, it's clear that they, the ownership transfers to the parents, but they can't do anything, but then transfer it to the wife slash offspring.

Doesn't everybody win there, Caitlin? Yeah, and I think I agree. And I also feel a little bit like what is at heart here is that she doesn't feel like he trusts her. Even though he said, I trust my wife, but also then goes on to basically say I don't. Because if I'm putting myself in her position, I would, I would definitely trust my husband to like my current husband to take

care of my parents. Yeah. So it would be weird for me though, to then I guess like there, it's very complicated. And I am drawn to say go see a lawyer. Yeah, if if if you think you can come up with a new document that creates a safe workaround that also pleases your wife And like let this be a lawyer's problem But but she she's the one she's the one making it about trust in her like he had this She's the one who's injecting the lack of trust into this conversation. It didn't have to be part of this She he was taking care of his parents and set up a system where they'd be taking care of, they'd own the house,

and then it would go to her slash the kids. She's trying to create a dynamic where she says, well, what this actually means is you don't trust me. She had nothing to do with this. This was about caring for the parents. And so on that front, that is why I am dictating that as the host of the show and the leader of the Dilemma panel, it is the wife who is the a-hole.

Hands down. Kailin, thank you so much. David, thank you so much. Please join me again soon. Yes, thanks, man. Thank you. To celebrate the Days of Our Lives 60th anniversary, W Network and Stack TV invite you to enter for a chance

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