The Ben Mulroney Show - The Dilemma Panel - No More Weddings please

Episode Date: March 26, 2025

Guests and Topics on Today's Show Guest: Kevin Frankish, long-time Television Broadcaster, now the host of Toronto Today on AM 640 Guest: Rick Lee, Senior Program Manager at Corus, and one time Mayoral Candidate in Toronto If you enjoyed the podcast, tell a friend! For more of the Ben Mulroney Show, subscribe to the podcast! https://globalnews.ca/national/program/the-ben-mulroney-show Follow Ben on Twitter/X at https://x.com/BenMulroney Enjoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Ontario. Welcome to the Dilemma Panel. No question is too awkward, no problem too petty, and no opinion goes unchallenged. Our panel of overthinkers is here to dissect, deliberate and sometimes derail the conversation entirely. Grab your popcorn. This isn't just advice. It's a front row seat to life's most hilariously relatable train wrecks. Here's your host, Ben Mulrooney. Welcome back to the Ben Mulrooney show and welcome to the Dilemma Panel. This is as you heard from Mr. Voice and Madam Voice. This is where we try to solve all of your problems.

We will fail, oftentimes, because we are in no way professionals. However, we have a lot of fun and today I'm being joined by Kevin Frankish, longtime television broadcaster and now the host of Toronto Today on 640 Toronto. Kevin, you start the day early, so I really appreciate you joining us. I didn't know that we could fail, that failure is an option. Oh, it absolutely is.

The more spectacular, you know when you're gonna fall when you ski, it's best to really make a show of it so that at least the people on the slopes are entertained. That's what we do here. And I wanna thank Rick Lee, Senior Program Manager at Cora's and one-time mayoral candidate

in Toronto. Rick, welcome to the show. Yeah, and Kev, failure is an option because I failed to be mayor of the city. Yeah, so when did you run? It was 2023, about two years ago. What was your platform? I still don't know to this day what my platform is. Well, kind of like the Liberal platform today.

Oh. Hey. Hasn't everyone run for mayor of Toronto at one point or another? Well, look, kind of like the Liberal platform today. Hasn't everyone run for mayor of Toronto at one point or another? Yeah, I think that's if you want to get into broadcasting, that's certainly I hope you got to jump through. All right, let's jump into these dilemmas. You guys ready? Here we go. Ready.

Dear Ben, I don't have a specific dilemma, okay, more so an overarching theme. I'm in my early 40s and it's starting to dawn on me that life in Canada is not what it used to be. My work is asking us to do more with less people. People are not flat-out rude but they're also not pleasant. I can't remember the last time someone said good morning or how are you when walking down the street. Even discussing news and politics has become so divisive. Am I wrong to think that life in Canada is not the same? Signed, Victor. Look, you know what?

We'll go with Rick. Rick, you're the new to these microphones, so you go first. Where does Victor work, by the way? Well, the more with less, I assume it's Canadian media. Oh, okay. Well, we're all like living a Black Mirror episode, basically. So people are just being stretched too thin, and they have no energy to even say hi.

But I want to say hi does go a long way. Just think of the security guard at a grocery store. Like they've had a long day. Oh, yeah. Half asleep. Who knows what they've encountered? A simple high smile wave like it does go along. I agree. There might be less of it, but it's still there, Kev. It is still there.

But I got to agree. I have to agree. I I'm the kind of person who always says good morning to someone. Yeah, well, you're passing even a stranger on the sidewalk. I'd like to strike up conversation. And I have noticed that over the years, people are becoming more and more shocked that you want to engage them. Yeah, what's your what are you selling? Yeah, but look, but there also is, like there's an image of Canada that a lot of people have that just isn't factually true.

I interviewed Michael Moore for his movie Bowling for Columbine, where he wanted to prove that Canada was so much safer than the States by literally going up to people's homes and walking in and showing that they don't lock their front doors. And I sat with him, I said, I can tell you for a fact that everybody I know locks their door.

So my anecdotal evidence disproves your theory. He refused to tell, to let me acknowledge that my lived experience as a Canadian was more important than his sort of moment in his movie. But so like we have to level set. We are, you know, by and large, there are certain themes that are true about us. But this idea that we're a bunch of, you know, 40 million people walking around holding doors for people

saying, oh, I'm sorry all the time, that's just a caricature, right? Ben, do you still lock your doors? I lock my doors all the time. I double lock my doors. I double lock. But anyway, let's leave this on a positive note for Victor. Victor, put out in the universe what you want to have back.

Keep opening doors for people. Keep saying good morning. Eventually, they will start saying it back. Let's move to dilemma number two. Dear Ben, I work in a small office with an open kitchen and one of my coworkers frequently microwaves fish for lunch. Oh, that's a fireball offense as far as I'm concerned.

The smell lingers for hours and makes the whole office unpleasant. I don't wanna be rude, but it's becoming a problem. How can I address this without creating workplace tension? I'm not the only one who feels this way. Would an anonymous note be too passive aggressive? Yes, it would. I don't wanna be confrontational,

but what's the protocol on food in an office space? One of my coworkers is of the belief that anything with a strong scent, or not shouldn't be allowed Kevin I'm gonna let you have first crack at this Okay, there should be an actual law There should be an actual law on the book It should be a federal law that if you cook fish or popcorn in a microwave That you should be at least sent home.

Well, do it, yeah. You want to poison the air, do it at home. Yeah, don't do it. I don't care that you think it's okay. No, no. The microwave in communal kitchen has become a battleground. The other thing you need to do is clean up after yourself. You know what?

If your soup overflows, reach in and just get a paper towel because at that point it's still wet, you can grab it and clean it up. But that microwave has become a flash point in so many communications. But definitely I would put up a sign, I would put a fish on it with the red cross through it and just go that way. Passive aggressive all the way. So I'm basing, I'm inferring from Carrie's description of her small office that they probably don't have an HR department.

So that's why she's worried about taking this on herself. She is the caricature of the Canadian that I was referencing in the previous dilemma in that she's way too nice for her own good. This person is getting away with egregious behavior in a community because we that Carrie and people like her are too nice and have allowed it to happen. But if that you go up to the person say your food stinks, you want to eat microwavable food. Be polite, but be firm. And if they don't agree with you, then you bring everybody

together with the pitchforks and you chase them out of town. Or you remove the microwave altogether. Yeah, yeah. But I do agree with Kevin. There is something very, very odd about feeling the need to microwave fish in a communal setting. Like, if that's how you see your role in society, we need to ship you off somewhere. Yeah. 25% tariff for every use of the microwave.

Alright, one more dilemma before the break. Dear Ben's panel, so this is clearly not addressed to me. My girlfriend and I have different ways of dealing with conflict. I like to address it before we go to sleep so the tension doesn't carry over to the next day. Plus, it prevents bitterness from building up. She likes to not address it right away and let it linger for a few days where there is a noticeable vibe shift.

How do I convince her that her way is not conducive to a good relationship? I'm really conflicted, signed Ian. Rick, go ahead. Oh, great. She's always right, Ian. She is always right. That's all.

Kev? I agree. Let's move, I agree. Let's just move on to the next one. No, no, hold on a sec. Hold on, because in my life, you know, my wife and I, we used, when we would have a conflict in the house, I would want to address it immediately. Immediately, because I'm the type of person that once something is addressed, if it's

addressed in a good faith way, I can let it go completely. Sometimes to my own detriment moving forward, like I should hold a grudge a little bit, but I don't. My wife, on the other hand, needs to sit with something for a little while. And so I found that our conflicts would escalate because I would say, let's deal with this now, and she would want to be left alone.

And so there is value in recognizing how we process this type of information and giving grace to the person who may need a little more time. Now, I do agree with Ian that letting something fester overnight isn't necessarily good, because the rule that I was taught by my parents is don't go to sleep angry. It does have a way of metastasizing inside you. So if there is a way for you to... What I'm suggesting to Ian is have these fights in the morning.

First thing, wake up and fight. Don't do it in the late afternoon. You don't have enough runway to deal with it before you go to bed. Yeah. What do we, I mean, I think I'm spitting truth here, Rick. Yeah, well, you can text her too. Why not?

You can, it's a lot easier than talking, right? But Kevin, I really do think, like we all process information differently and you can't put somebody on your own schedule to deal with conflict. It's not easier than talking, right? But Kevin, I really do think, like we all process information differently and you can't put somebody on your own schedule to deal with conflict. It's only gonna make it, it's only gonna make it worse, I think.

Just remember the four words. Don't say happy wife, happy life. That is not what we're talking about here. No, no, no, no. I'm just saying the four words that's gonna save any marriage or any relationship. Oh, yeah, right, sorry. There you go. Done. Kevin, I'm trying to solve Ian's problem. You are just trying to cover it with a wet blanket

and say it's not there anymore. Ian has a valid concern and I am trying to help him. And I'm trying to help him as well. I didn't say, listen, I said we were gonna fail. I didn't say we were gonna try to fail. Come on, Kev, get with the dilemma program. All right, hey, we got more on the dilemma when we continue, including a listener who says she is done with weddings. Don't go anywhere, that is next.

Welcome back to the Dilemma Panel here on the Ben Mulroney Show. And of course, we can't do the Dilemma Panel unless we have dilemmas to undilemma. And so in order to get those before you, I got to hear from you. AskBen at chorusent.com. AskBen at corusent.com. And I'm joined today by Kevin Frankish and Rick Lee. Rick, what does a senior program manager at Chorus do?

I still don't know to this day. So you don't know what you're ready for, for mayor and you don't know what to do every day. Okay, let me ask you this. How long have you been a senior program manager? Oh, geez. It's been six years now. Six years. And you enjoy it? I do. Am I being recorded? Yeah, that tends to happen in here with the microphones. All right, let's jump right back in. Dilemma number four. Dear Ben, I'm in my early 30s and just went through an insane run the last two years of weddings and baptisms. I don't know if it's just the age I'm in

or the fact that COVID forced people to push it back and now it's all piling up at once. I am so over it. I have spent so much money on gifts, it's not even funny. I'm tired of feeling obligated to go to things I'm invited to. And I'm Italian. We were raised to make sure the emphasis was my own. We were raised to make sure the gift is money and that it more than pays for the plate.

I haven't even been able to go on vacation in two years because of it. Am I wrong for wanting to say no more weddings or baptisms period except for a select few close friends and family signed Alessia. Rick, you take the lead, please. Alessia, just be thankful that you're being invited. The older you get, the less weddings you get to go to. Enjoy it now because funerals will be more on the agenda. And the food is never good at funerals, right?

That went dark, Rick. Thank you. You went dark. Can we talk about stag and does, too? What's up with that? Oh my god, Kev, what's your thought? First of all, I despise weddings. They're just too showy, too overpriced, and you know, you want to help a couple recoup some of their investment, so you feel compelled to get a stupid expensive gift.

What a black heart you have, Kevin. What a black dead heart. I am tired of giving up my entire day to go to a wedding of a fair weather friend or something like that. I, you know what, I don't want to get dressed up. I want to be either fertilizing my lawn, then sitting waiting for you to arrive an hour late, and then having reception that is six hours. Anyway, I think you get my point. I do. having reception that is six hours. Anyway, I think you get my point. I do. There is nothing wrong with saying, no, you know what, I don't want to go to this wedding. Yeah. I got better things to do.

Yeah, it's true. Look, Alessia, fundamentally, when you receive the paperless post or when you get the invitation in the mail, there is a box you can check that says I cannot attend. I mean, you do have that option. So again, you gotta ask yourself, what do you prioritize? And it does seem like resentment is building up as your bank account is diminishing. So at some point you gotta prioritize what is important to you.

And I don't think there's anything wrong, Alessia, with being a little more selective and prioritizing yourself over other people every now and then. That would be my explanation. But Rick, I do want to hear, are you pro or anti-wedding? Oh, not to the extent of Kevin saying that he's anti. You know what? I have a wedding to attend next month and there's no registry.

That's frustrating. What is that? What are you supposed to do? Money. Oh, yeah. Or Bay blankets. I might go to Hudson's Bay and buy. OK, you just show up with an IOU. This one's two hundred fifty thousand. You might want to hold on to this one. Name the movie. Dumb and Dumber.

OK, here. Dilemma number five. Hello, Ben's panel. My seven year old son has been coming home from school upset because his team seems to single him out in class. He says she calls on him more often than others, corrects him harshly, and even uses him as an example when talking about mistakes.

I wanna support my child to make sure he feels safe at school. I've confronted the teacher before, and she says she does no such thing. My son is not a liar, though, and he says it continues to this day. My next step is speaking to the principal. If I don't get an answer that's sufficient, should I switch classes or even schools? Um, oh, that's a really interesting one. Okay, so Kevin,

you hate, um, you hate weddings. Do you also hate children? I love children. I love children. Don't, don't paint me as a mummy. So, what would you recommend to Yelia? I think at this point, now how old was the child? Seven. Seven, okay. That is an age in which the child is getting out of the mommy kind of teacher from kindergarten and grade. Yeah, there's a real handover. So, so there is a chance that your child is too oversensitive. There is that chance. You know, they've sailed along until now. And now a teacher is pointing out, well, we shouldn't do that, Johnny, or you shouldn't do that. So there is that. I would begin by saying how bad is it? Yeah.

And then you have to say, you have to learn how, you know what, you're going to have a teacher this year who wasn't as nice as the teacher last year, but next year you might have a better one and it's going to be the rest of your school life. Yep. But you're going to keep letting your child rule should they switch classes because they don't like how they're talked to. Yeah, yeah, you gotta teach, the world is not gonna bend to your child and look, I don't know when the earliest available

opportunity is to teach that, seven seems really young to me, but who knows? Rick, what do you think? I don't like children. I don't like them. Yeah. What I would say is I like the idea of talking to the principal, but talking to the principal with the teacher

there, because you're right, we don't actually know what's going on. So having someone almost as a mediator, they say, look, these are my concerns. This is what my child is telling me, tell me what you are saying to my child, there's making him come home and telling me that he feels like he is being singled out. Like let's try to understand each other a little better. That way it doesn't look like you're undermining the teacher because you look you want to have an open communication with this teacher moving forward and you want to believe the teacher just as you want

to believe your child. So I would talk to the principal as a group. That's why I was thinking, is there cameras in this classroom that we can like, look at the footage like instant replay? I mean, that would be really, I think I parents would be really bothered if their kids were being recorded all day. But who knows? Okay, I think we got time for one more dilemma. Ben, I'm in my late 50s. And I've spent most of my life playing it safe, steady job, responsible choices, no major risks, but lately I've been feeling restless, like I've missed out on something

by always taking the cautious route. I'm considering a big change, like switching careers, moving to a new city, or even chasing a long-held dream. The problem is, I worry it's too late. What if I fail? What if I regret leaving behind the security I've built? Am I being reckless or is it worth taking the leap

while I still have time? I was once married, but now I'm divorced, and my two children are already grown up and married and that's signed Farhad. Kev, people in media know Stranger to taking leaps and changing jobs. Do it. I want you to think of yourself.

Okay, I want you to think of yourself in your deathbed. I want you to think, what are you gonna say to yourself? Boy, am I ever glad that I stayed with that boring in a rut job? Yeah. Or are you going to say, man, I am so glad I took that chance? If you're going to take chances, just do it, but don't second-guess yourself. Yeah. As soon as you feel you're gonna fail, you are going to fail. And I am tired. And now that I'm into that age group, I am tired of people thinking life ends at 55. You make changes.

You still have many years ahead and you need to enjoy yourself as well. And you know what? All we think about is our retirement. That's all we ever think about. Let's save money. We can't spend money now because we're at retirement. No, live for the now. Yeah, live for the now.

Rick, the last, the final minute to you. Coldplay fix you. It happened to me. I heard the song and then I said, okay, I got to do it. But if you never try, you'll never know just what you're worth. Okay. So just do it or else you'll be fertilizing your lawn. Yeah.

And, and, and, and look, Okay, so just do it or else you'll be fertilizing your lawn. Hey, if that's what floats your boat, I'm not going to judge. But no, look, you have no dependence Farhad. The only person that depends on you is you. And Kevin's absolutely right. When all is said and done and you're staring back at your life, you've made it this far and you did well, you played it safe and you took care of your kids, you should be proud of that. Now take care of yourself.

What is gonna light a fire inside your soul? Because clearly it feels like nobody asked you what mattered to you. You did what you needed to do to take care of the people in your life and good on you, good on you. That is a badge of honor that should keep you warm at night. Actually, that's a mixing of metaphors. But, um, but no, but you should be, you should be proud of that. I want that audio isolated by the way, where you said Kevin was right. Yeah, cause you're gonna need it. Cause I won't say it very often. Hey, to the both of you,

to Rick Lee and to Kevin Frankish, thank you so much for joining us and thanks to everybody for writing in with their dilemmas. Keep them coming at askben at chorusent.com. At Desjardins, we speak business. We speak startup funding and comprehensive game plans. We've mastered made toto-measure growth and expansion advice, and we can talk your ear off about transferring your business when the time comes. Because at Desjardins Business, we speak the same language you do.

Business. So join the more than 400,000 Canadian entrepreneurs who already count on us, and contact Desjardins today. We'd love to talk. Business.