The Ben Mulroney Show - The Dilemma Panel - Unplugging from your Cellphone

Episode Date: May 28, 2025

The Dilemma Panel Guest: Kris Sims, Alberta Director Of The Canadian Taxpayers Federation Guest: Tom Korski, Managing editor Blacklock's Reporter If you enjoyed the podcast, tell a friend! For more of the Ben Mulroney Show, subscribe to the podcast! https://globalnews.ca/national/program/the-ben-mulroney-show Follow Ben on Twitter/X at https://x.com/BenMulroney Enjoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Dilemma Panel. No question is too awkward. No problem too petty. And no opinion goes unchallenged. Our panel of overthinkers is here to dissect, deliberate, and sometimes derail the conversation entirely. Grab your popcorn. This isn't just advice. It's a front row seat to life's most hilariously relatable train wrecks. Here's your host, Ben Mulrooney. Welcome back to the Ben Mulrooney Show. And can I tell you what I think makes an interesting person is somebody who presents as an expert in one field, but then shows an interest and an aptitude in another. And I often use as an example, besides my dad, who had interest in everything, is a guy like George Will. He's an American libertarian. He's a writer. He wrote for the Pulitzer Prize winner. And he's an adept student of political science and history, who also knows absolutely

everything about baseball. That to me is an interesting person. And so sometimes on this show, we have people with a depth of knowledge on one thing or another. We have them on the show people with a depth of knowledge on one thing or another. We have them on the show as experts in that one domain. And I thought to myself, well, why don't we, why don't we mine them for this fun that we have once a week on the dilemma panel? And so I'm bringing on guests that we typically would talk to on issues of taxation and policy and politics. And we're bringing them in to solve your problems on the Dilemma Panel. I would remind you that if you have a dilemma

that you want us to solve, email us at askbenn at chorusent.com. So for the first time on the panel, please welcome Chris Sims, Alberta Director of the Canadian Taxpayers Federation and Tom Korske, Managing Editor of BlackLocks Reporter. To the both of you, I say welcome for the first time to the Dilemma Panel. Oh, thank you, Ben.

Thanks, Ben. Awesome. All right time to the Dilemma Panel. Oh, thank you, Ben. Thanks, Ben. Awesome. All right, so here's how it works. I'm gonna read out the dilemma that someone has written in for us, and we're gonna make their lives better by solving their problems. Sound good?

I'm ready. Okay, I'll try. Here we go. Dear Ben, I'm in a bit of a dilemma and could use some outside perspective. My girlfriend is moving in with me next month, and while I'm really excited about this a dilemma and could use some outside perspective. My girlfriend is moving in with me next month. And while I'm really excited about this next step in our relationship,

there's one issue I'm not sure how to handle. I own the house we'll be living in. The mortgage is fully in my name. And I've been living here alone for the past few years. Now that she's moving in, I think it's fair for her to contribute financially. And I was planning to ask her to pay a portion of the monthly costs as rent. However, when I brought it up casually, she seemed a little surprised and said she didn't think she would have to pay rent if she the monthly costs as rent. However, when I brought it up casually, she seemed a little surprised and said she didn't think she would have to pay rent if she's

moving into my house. I get her point. She wouldn't be gaining any equity and technically, she'd be paying towards my mortgage. But from my perspective, it feels unfair for me to suddenly absorb all the increased costs of living together. Is it reasonable to ask her to pay rent in my home? Or should I be looking at this more as a shared household rather than a landlord tenant situation? Signed, Jeff.

So Chris, let's start with you. Oh, Jeff, my goodness. Number one, big red flag. If she's looking for something for free, that's kind of weird. So watch that one. But also if she does help you pay the mortgage and you guys do split up later on, a judge

could decide that that's common law and you might lose 50% of your house. So caution there, bro. Interesting. I hadn't even thought about that. Tom, where do you see this? Jeff, what am I trying to accomplish here? Do I want someone to help me pay the water bill or do I want to play house with my girlfriend? By the way, Jeff doesn't explain how this came about. It didn't fall from the sky. Someone must have brought this up. My two cents.

People say never do business with family. I say always do business with family. That's the way you find out who they are. Look, I think Jeff really screwed the pooch on this one. You invite your girlfriend to move in with you. This seems like it was his idea. Come move in with me. You have been perfectly content to pay your mortgage for years. You've been capable of doing so. You're building up equity in this home.

You want her to move in. You don't ask somebody to move in if you think it's gonna end. You want them to move in because you think the relationship is deepening, which means there is the possibility that one day that girlfriend may turn into something more official.

So what the hell are you doing here, Jeff? Like what's your end game here? I think we've established, Ben, that we are experts in other people's business. Absolutely. Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, figure out what you want here. Are you trying to build a better relationship with your girlfriend,

or are you looking for some supplemental income? But if you're looking to be happy and you want this person to share a life with you, you've gone down the wrong path. I would suggest pulling a U-turn saying, I'm sorry, honey, I had a momentary lapse of judgment. Welcome to your home, enjoy. Maybe you can help pay for groceries every now and then.

Chris. I don't know. It establishes a bad princess precedent here. Ben, I don't think there are other ways to contribute. Right. And look, because maybe if the end, if the end goal is to get married, right, then she's going to own half the house at some point anyway. Right. Right. So, so like play the long game here, you are guaranteeing that this woman, that this relationship is going to end by starting this out by saying, help me pay for my rent and you don't get a piece of the house. It doesn't make any sense. Better to find out now, Ben. Yeah, good point.

Better to find out now. Yeah, Jeff, I think you gotta reconsider your tactic here. That's my two cents. All right, dilemma number two. This is a classic Reddit, am I the a-hole if I don't change the name of my unborn baby after my sister gave her baby the same name. I found out I was pregnant and due in July, 2025. My sister gave birth to me, and I was born in the name of my unborn baby after my sister gave her baby the same name.

I found out I was pregnant and due in July, 2025. My sister gave birth to her baby in February, 2025. When I announced my pregnancy to her back in December, 2024, I also announced the gender and the name. I found out then she had chosen the same name for her baby boy. She has had three other children for which she never announced the name.

Since then, she's been pressuring me to change the name because it causes her anxiety. She says, two cousins born five months apart with the same name is going to create unnecessary rivalry. My husband and I chosen the name prior to conception and announced it to everyone without knowing her intentions. I'm now eight months pregnant, and I've been calling my baby this name since the beginning.

I don't want to change the name. context. Her baby was born with some kidney issues and had to have surgery at 10 weeks old. So she's been especially sensitive personally, I feel for her but I don't see this name thing as a major issue. And I don't want to change the name of my baby because she has anxiety over this. Am I the a hole? Tom, what do you think? Who's the a hole here? Sandra, first of all, you gotta wait to see the baby. The baby is the one with the name.

It's not I, I, I. The baby will guide the name, by the way. When you pick a name, you should know that the name cannot be the expression of the personality you ascribe to the baby. You have to look at the baby. And remember, the baby will wind up in the workforce in the next cubicle to guys like me.

So if you want a special personality-laden name, you should know that there are guys out there who may not share your enthusiasm, but let the baby guide the name-choosing. I mean, listen, I didn't do that. When I found out we were having twins, I knew exactly the names I wanted. I wanted to name one Brian and one John. John named after my dad's brother

who passed away on the same day as he was born. And we wanted to honor him. And, or I did, my wife was like, are we sure you want to name them that? I was like, do you want me to go get my dad's memoirs again? Because I start crying every time I read that passage. So I think it can work both ways, but Chris, where do you land on this?

We named our children with a lot of thought as well, Ben. every time I read that passage. So I think it can, it can work both ways, but Chris, where do you land on this? Uh, we named our children, uh, with a lot of thought as well, Ben, I think most people do. I think in this case, the pregnant lady needs to ask herself, will this matter in five years? Yeah. Yeah. Will this matter in five years right now? Like everything is about naming the baby and what kind of, you know, booties they're going to have and all this stuff. Will this matter in five years? And also, do you mind if both of them have the same name, you know, booties they're gonna have and all this stuff, will this matter in five years?

And also, do you mind if both of them have the same name? You know, if they're cousins and first cousins and they get along, they might like having the same name. This isn't necessarily a guaranteed rivalry thing. So just ask yourself, will this matter in five years? And then go from there. Yeah, I think she's the a-hole, depending on how she proceeds.

And look, she telegraphed that she wanted this name. Her sister ostensibly came in and swooped up and stole it from her. And now she's claiming anxiety. And yes, her child has some childhood illnesses that they're dealing with, but you could be the bigger person here, take a different name or give that name as a middle name.

And then later on in a few years, sit your sister down and say, you know what, you were kind of a, you're kind of an a-hole on this and I just want you to know that you behaved in a way that I would not have behaved to you. And then, then you have the upper hand and you can, you can pull out that guilt card whenever you want. This middle name is a good trick. Yeah. When our youngest was born, I said, he's Ray. Look at him. He's a Ray. Everyone talked me out of it. Guess what, Ben?

To this day, he's a Ray. That was his personality. I'm telling you, you have to look at the baby. It's my two cents. I don't listen. So every grand kid, every male grand kid named Mulrooney has Brian in their name somehow. My dad's middle name was actually Brian. grandkid named Mulrooney has Brian in their name somehow. My dad's middle name was actually Brian.

He was Martin Brian Mulrooney. We named our son Brian, but every other kid has Brian as a middle name. And I don't mind that at all. I think it's fantastic. I think it was a great way to honor my dad. But Tom, I'm gonna take issue. Every kid looks the same when they're born.

And you're telling me you can, you look at it and say, well, you're definitely a Steve and you're a you're a oh no but you could see the personality. Oh sure. See the personality. You're the angry raisin. How do you do that? Absolutely no. Well anyway I maybe I have very high emotional IQ. I feel sorry for the rest of them. That boy was a Ray and I'll tell you and I never told him until years later when he was in competitive hockey. And I said, Hey, Ray, you're array and no one listened to me. And now it is our secret bond. All right, well, listen, we're gonna continue with Chris and Tom on the Dilemma panel after the break

right here on the Ben Mulroney show. This is the Ben Mulroney show. And because it's Wednesday, we like to cleanse the political palette with a fun dip in the dilemma panel and joined this week by Chris Sims and Tom Korski. Guys welcome back. Let's jump right into the next dilemma. Dilemma number three, dear Ben, my boyfriend and I recently went on a weekend trip up north and something happened that's been bothering me more than I expected. About two hours into the drive, I realized I had forgotten my phone at home. I asked him if we could turn around and get it, but he said, no,

that it wasn't worth losing four hours of our trip on something. We'd only be without for two days. He said I could use his phone if I need to call or check something and that we were going up there to relax and unplug anyway. I get that it wasn't a life or death situation and yes, I survived the weekend just fine, but I still felt kind of dismissed. I rely on my phone, not just for social stuff, but for other things like photos, directions,

and staying connected with family in case of emergency. It felt like he made the decision unilaterally without really considering how important it was to me. Now I'm wondering, was he being reasonable or am I overreacting? Signed, Sandra. Tom, is Sandra crazy? This guy's a saint. You didn't notice the phone for two hours.

You're asking him to go back for two hours. You know, I don't even own a mobile device. But if I was in the car, no, this man, whoever he is, I'm telling you, Sandra, don't let him go. This guy's a winner. Yeah, yeah. Chris, I think we're all going to be aligned on this, but I want to hear what you have to say. I still can't believe Tom doesn't own a mobile device. I know.

Not even a phone? What? I know. It's, you know. Are you calling us from a rotary phone right now? No, well, I do have touch push. I mean, I think rotaries are unavailable. You have to get parts on eBay now. Have you always been without a digital device? I have, even going back to Pagers. And the reason is when you're in the newsroom,

people will be after you 24 hours a day. 12 hours a day is plenty. Yeah. Okay. So Chris- This is why he's smarter than most of us. Yeah, exactly. He's winning. He's winning. Now, Chris, what do you think? I think he's right. I think she's overreacting. And also you spent two hours not noticing your phone was on.

That guy is a keeper. Also the fact that he would just willingly hand you his cell phone. I know it's a double bonus for her, Chris. Like the fact that he said, we're going up there. He had all of his reasons were valid as to why he didn't want to turn around. And the fact that he is willing to hand over his phone

speaks to a willingness, like an openness and like, I'm an open book. You can trust me. You can go through my phone. I don't care. And so I think Sandra, you have to reevaluate. You are absolutely overreacting. Your boyfriend was being entirely reasonable.

And let's be honest. I don't know if it's ever happened to you, Chris. I would bring you into this, Tom, but you don't have a phone, so. You're just gonna sit there quietly. But Chris, when I've forgotten my phone places, there is a moment of panic, and there's a moment

of adjustment, and then there's a clarity and a calmness that comes from it, and you realize I can actually enjoy myself, and I can be present in a way I wouldn't have otherwise been. Yeah, going on a digital cleanse is a real thing. And we're the last generation, Ben, the Gen Xers, who remember what it was like before

and are now addicted to them like the rest of us. Sorry, Tom excluded. This is very good. Green lights all the way, girl. Yeah, I don't think social first. Like when I'm at an event or I see a nice sunset, I don't whip out my phone first. I'm still tethered to sort of the 80s where,

oh, I'll just enjoy this moment for what it is. All right, dilemma number four, dear Ben's panel, I've been with my boyfriend for almost three years, and while our relationship is generally solid, there's one recurring issue that leaves me feeling a little underwhelmed. When it comes to birthdays and holidays like Christmas, his gifts to me are always the same. Generic jewelry, perfume, and a bouquet of flowers. I know he means well. He's not forgetful or dismissive, but it feels like he's putting zero thought into what I actually like

or what would be meaningful to me. He's not cheap about it, but somehow the gifts feel impersonal, like he just swung by the department store gift section and grabbed the first girlfriend gift bundle. I've dropped hints about stuff I'd love, books, experiences, handmade stuff, but nothing has changed. I don't want to seem ungrateful. I know a lot of people would be happy to get any gift at all, but I can't help feeling like he doesn't really see me

when he shops for me. Am I expecting too much? Signed, Violet. Chris, what do you think? Yeah, you're three years in. It's only going to get more practical from here. I don't know about you then. I don't know about you, but when you want something now, once you've been married for a long time, you're just like, here, honey, buy me this. Here's the link. Yeah. And Tom, I don't know, there's a book that I never read, but apparently you can divide people in different categories. Like what is their love language, right?

Mine is acts of service. I like doing things for people. I want them to see that I care about them by surprising them with like, you know, by doing things. And other people are about giving gifts. And maybe this is not how he expresses his love Tom. Well, I'm impressed that he remembers all the dates. I mean, that's a plus. I remember my wife's birthday because she was born on Stalin's birthday.

And I remind her of that every year. Tom! I will say to Violet, don't do love tests. Yeah. What you see is what you get. Yeah. If you don't like the way he puts on his rubber boots, if you don't like his favorite song, if you don't like what he got you for Christmas, what you see is what you get. If you want to read more into it, if you really loved me, you too would like to listen to George Jones. I'm telling you, you're making a mistake. I mean, your wife loves you despite you comparing her to Stalin.

So saying it's an easy date to remember. That is my point. I see. I see. Very, very good. No, I, but you know, I think you bring up a really good point, like you didn't, you didn't fall in love with him because of the gifts. You fell in love with him for a raft, hopefully a raft of other things that he is that he does for you or makes you feel. And so like you gotta take the good with the bad. And, and, and there's not a lot of changing people when they get later in life, as Chris has said, three years in this is this is who he is.

And don't set up little tests based on your own perception. Yeah, don't be in your own head and set up little tests for him. Yeah, because he will fail them all the time because he's a different person from you. Yeah, correct. Read Bon Girl. You know, don't do that. If you want to get, if you want something nice, go buy it for yourself and then say, honey, you just bought me a lovely gift. Thank you very much. And there you go. Everybody's happy. Okay. Next one. Another classic Reddit. Am I the a-hole? Because I told my wife, she isn't allowed to ground my son. My son is 17 from a previous marriage. My wife and I also have three more boys.

My son plans to spend all summer practicing. Yesterday, my wife asked him to tidy up the living room and he said he was already on his way to the gym. She told him that he could go after tidying. He said he would do it when he got back and left without giving her time to reply. She sent him a text saying he's grounded and then called me to let me know. I told her I would talk to him, but he wasn't grounded.

She said he disrespected her and I said we could and would have a conversation about that, but there would be no grounding. This is my last summer with my oldest child and an important summer because he's trying to achieve something that can make or break his future. I'm not going to risk ruining either of those things unless it's something really serious. She was very upset when he got back, we sat down and talked. He said he didn't mind helping out,

but that he was a busy person with a busy schedule and wasn't at our beck and call. He said if he is asked in advance to do something, he will, but he isn't available at the drop of a hat. My wife didn't like that. So now we've been in a fight ever since. Am I the a-hole for backing up my son? Ooh, blended families is tricky.

So I'm gonna defer to you guys first before I say anything. Chris, you go first. That's a tough one. In this case, he sounds like a reasonably responsible, almost adult. 17 is right on the edge there. And expecting somebody to drop something at,

if we're taking them at face value, at the drop of a hat to clean up a room that he didn't know about beforehand. That's a little much. Also trying to ground the other person's kid when they're almost ready to go vote or serve in the armed forces. That's a little much. Usually you try to do this behind closed doors and not in front of a kid though. Yeah. Now I think you're right. I think I think, Tom, I think a little more. I don't know. It seems like there's a lot of rushing to make decisions here. Never let the children sense there is some unevenness in their management's opinion. Like to sense point number two, too much dialogue. There's too much talking. Yeah. If you're 17 year old enough to join the Navy or get married in New Brunswick, it's not

too late. It sounds like there are other activities going on. Get them a job at McDonald's. We did it with all our kids. Why? Why McDonald's? Because you will meet the most entitled person on earth, which is the guy who just got the $1.99 breakfast

sandwich and waited 45 seconds in the drive-thru. You will never live in your own head again. You will realize the world does not care about your feelings. If you have a 17-year-old in the house, I'm telling you, get them work and all your problems will disappear. It seems like this guy has accepted the fact that his dad has a new wife and I think the wife needs to take the win and follow suit. All right, guys, thank you so much. I hope we get to do this again soon. Thank you, Ben.

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