The Ben Mulroney Show - Why we should prioritize our chosen families/ Raymond Burr

Episode Date: May 27, 2026

GUEST:  Pete Bombaci – Genwell  Guest: Craig Baird, Host of Canadian History Ehx If you enjoyed the podcast, tell a friend! For more of the Ben Mulroney Show, subscribe to the podcast! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://link.chtbl.com/bms⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Also, on youtube -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@BenMulroneyShow⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Ben on Twitter/X at https://x.com/BenMulroney Insta: ⁠⁠⁠@benmulroneyshow⁠⁠⁠ Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠@benmulroneyshow⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠@benmulroneyshow⁠⁠⁠ Executive Producer:  Mike Drolet Reach out to Mike with story ideas or tips at [e-mail] Enjoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Someone bring a gurney. So we have been having a number of conversations with Pippam Bachi from Genwell talking about the need for human connection and how the evidence is clear that we are going through life with all these devices that are supposed to connect us. But the one connection that we need is the one we have been. denying and that's the human connections face to face it's that that contact that that we used to take for granted that now seems to have fallen by the wayside and today we're going to ask the question um knowing that we need these connections what are the connections which ones where can we get the ones that will lead us to happiness and health and so on that note let's welcome pete to the show Pete welcome back ready to be back ben yeah listen there's there's there's all sorts of ways

you can connect with people. There's a lot of people in the world, but I have to believe that the deeper the connection, the more value it's going to have for you. Oh, that's an interesting, interesting take. And I think that's what we would normally think. And I think that is true that, you know, family and friends, people who've had a long relationship

can really lend that sense of safety, security, support, help us build resilience. But I think the really important thing is for us to recognize that we can get all different types of benefits it's from all different types of connection. And that maybe it isn't always about leaning on those one or two because I think there's a couple of reasons. First off, I think the research I've read recently says 70 to 80 percent have turmoil,

70 to 80 percent of people have a turmoil with at least one member of the family. So we've all had some turmoil in our families. But number two, when we have people moving around the world, working in countries where they may not be able to be face-to-face with family or close friends, I think we need to recognize maybe there's a number, some other solutions that can fill that gap or void. Okay. And that makes it that that's a good point, right?

Like talking to family sometimes can be fraught, right? It can be, there's baggage, there's history, there's, uh, they, those people know your cheat codes, right? And so sometimes that connection can turn into something a little, I don't want to say toxic, because I don't like that word. I think it's overused, but, but they can be, they, they're not necessarily as entirely positive as you probably want them to be as opposed to say, talking to a stranger. Yeah, and that is the perfect diametrically opposed thing, which is the family knows everything

about you. They know your history. They know how to push your buttons. Whereas a stranger, there is no expectation. You've met a person. They take you at face value. You have a conversation. Maybe you learn something.

You have a laugh. They might show you some directions. They might help you along your way. And yet both of those things can actually add value to your life, even just to be part of a community and know that you're safe and secure. and that everybody around us isn't always bad or, you know, some of the things we've said for 50 years about fearing strangers. But I guess there's this, because we're not giving people conflicting advice here, right?

We're not saying, hey, connect with people, but don't connect with the people that actually know you. It might come across as counterintuitive, but I do appreciate that if the goal of these conversations is to say, even talking to somebody for and making that connection for a short period of time, a temporary connection in that moment, there is value. And if that's the goal that we are trying to achieve, then going to the deepest part of the well might not be the most optimal way to achieve that goal. Is that fair to say? I think it's a well, well said, Ben. I think the important thing is for us to continuously be looking at all the relationships on our lives and see, you know,

how are we finding the balance with our friends our family our neighbors our classmates our colleagues are talking to strangers and what are the areas that we might need to put a little more effort in and yes and i too don't like the word toxic because i find it has a a negative connotation to the interaction you know there are going to be challenging conversations in our life and so we shouldn't just turn away from those we don't like them and we certainly need to ask what aspect do i play in any conflict that I may be having with somebody that I know really well. But at the end of the day, we should be doing the assessment at some point and say, hey, I have time with these people who had this value to my life and these people I don't seem to jive with.

So maybe I need to make switches on where I'm going to spend my time. Where does Jenwell land on the idea of having the majority of it, like the lion's share of the conversations with your family, the day-to-day stuff over like a family chat, like a family text, a group text. Is that a connection, is that a connection of value or is that just a way to check in? Well, I think it's an incredible. When we have a tight group of people on a digital platform to me, this is, again, digital technology is an incredible supplement to the human interactions that help us thrive. When we use them that way, when we use them to connect, to share stories, to share memes, to have a laugh with each other. But if it's the only thing we're using to stay connected to each other, that's when it becomes the issue.

And then back just to those relationships earlier, Ben, you know, the research, Robin Dunbar out of the UK suggests that what we really need are three to five close friends. You know, if we have three to five close people that we can lean on when things are going sideways, then you have safety, security, you build resilience. And I think in this digitally connected world, oftentimes we think we need a thousand followers or 500 likes. When in actual fact, what we need to be thinking about is who are those three to five people that I can turn to in a time of challenge. Okay, so I'm going to throw something at you because it just occurred to me. We're talking about different types of connections and different types of. I mean, there is a momentary connection with strangers that we've never talked about. And I'm talking about picking up a stranger and going home and having a night together and then sending them on their way the next day.

what does Jenwell think of that? What does Jenwell think of the one-night stand? Genwell has not had any conversations about the one-night stand, so I don't even know if I could give you a take on that one, my friend. I mean, listen, it's a connection. You are, you are, and the, the strangers taking you at face value, and it's not meant to be forever. So it's got to be, right?

There's something there. I guess my response would be if you have two sentencing adults who want to connect. We know that right now young people are even struggling to build that sense of connection. And I think, you know, if you listen to many of the experts in the world today, we need to find ways for young people to connect. You know, and hopefully it's through positive, healthy types of activities, of which that is a wonderful activity if that is two mutually consenting adults that are building a relationship.

So, you know, that's, I think that's where I would land on that. But that's a new one, Ben. I haven't heard that question yet. Well, listen, I, my sons are part of that cohort that lost years to the pandemic. And I took them down to Washington, D.C. for a big event that was very important to my dad. And one of the things I was determined to do was really throw them into the deep end in terms of schmoozing with people they didn't know. And I would walk into a room of 100 people. And I would walk to the other side of the room. I would just leave them there. And every time there was a dinner, I made sure that they weren't sitting at my table, that they had to sit with a table full of people they did not know. And I really thought that that was, they enjoyed themselves very much.

I heard great feedback from the people at the table as well. But I think those are the things, if a parent has it in their power to put their kids in an uncomfortable position like that, I think they'll reap the benefits. Absolutely. I think teaching young people skills right now about, how to connect and I think that is rooted in understanding the truth about human connection which is we all need it we all crave it it's part of survival if we cannot survive in this world alone and if we all recognize that you need connection as much as I need connection so there's

nothing to fear yeah and the science says that 97% of the time this is dr. nick epley coming to Toronto in a couple weeks just to have a conversation here with genwell and doing something at rotman his research shows 97% of the time that both people are happy to when we actually talk to a stranger, I think that's the permission to our young people to say, hey, I know you're anxious, you know, but if you actually just say hello and introduce yourself 99 or, you know, a large percentage of the time,

it's going to go great. And you're going to have an amazing time. Yeah. I think the lesson here is force your kids to talk to strangers. Talking to strangers is inherently positive. And call your mother. Call your mother because a text isn't always good enough. Absolutely. And, you know, say hello to the neighbor. And, you know, when you're in class, say hello to the kid that's beside you, sitting with you, watching, you know, taking in whatever subject. Connections are all around us. But I think we need to be more conscious and intentional of recognizing the value that they bring to our lives.

Pete Bambachi, thank you very much, my friend. Talk to you soon. Thanks, Ben. All right. When we come back, a class is in session. Craig Baird from Canadian History X is here. And we're talking about, well, the late. The late. Great, Raymond Burr. Don't go anywhere. This is the Ben Mulroney Show. Some crimes are so shocking. They don't just make headlines. They forever change our society. I'm Katie Ring,

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From CBC podcasts, this is understood, artificial intimacy. Available now. Well, Montreal Canadiens are down to one in these playoffs against the hurricanes. I'm still very, very bullish. This is going to go, I think this is going to go seven. This is going to go seven. But it's an exciting time to be a Habs fan. And our next guest, Craig Baird, from host of Canadian History X, is here to talk about a book that came out in 1983, chronicling the 1978-79, Montreal Canadians.

A welcome to the show, Craig. Oh, thanks for having me. Okay, so this was a book called The Game by Ken Dryden, the incredible and Stanley Cup winning goalie for the Montreal Canadiens. Yeah, and like you said, it was released in 1983, and what it did was it chronicled the 1978-79 Montreal Canadiens. So for anybody who doesn't know, that's the team that won its fourth straight Stanley Cup to close out the dynasty.

And it was a really unique book because it gave a behind-the-scenes look at the team that would win that Stanley Cup. But Dryden also looked at what it was like being an athlete, coping with the demands of the sport, with fame and things like that, and reconciling these pressures with his life outside the arena. And the book is generally considered to be kind of a masterwork of sports writing. Mordecai Rickler said that it was a very special book. Scott Young, who was a celebrated journalist.

And the father of Neil Young said that it was a book that nothing could compare to. It was even actually nominated for the Governor's General's Literary Award in 1983 and really still holds up as a fantastic book of kind of a snapshot in not only at the NHL's history, but the Montreal Canadian's history. And just looking at, you know, the pressures that a lot of professional athletes face, especially when they're on championship teams. Yeah, and he certainly has had more than his fair share of career highlights. And, I mean, he didn't even leave it there. Once he did that, he went into politics. So he was a very, very proliferate, profligate success on so many different fronts. And he sadly passed away just a short while ago.

The book is called The Game by Ken Dryden. And you know what? The way you talk about it, I think I'm going to have to read that book again. I read it long. I highly recommend it. It's very good. Yeah, it is. It is.

All right, this week's episode of Canadian History X follows. We've been doing a lot of this. We've been talking about a lot of Canadian actors who decamped from what. wherever they were, to go down to Hollywood and make a name for themselves and change the game. And this week is Raymond Burr. Yeah, so what I did was I had all of May looking at these actors, and this one was Raymond Burr. So he was born on May 21st, 1917, in New Westminster. And in the 1940s, he began to act in films.

And he was often because he was a very tall man, but also a very large man. He would play henchmen or villains. And in 1956, he appeared in the first Godzilla movie, and also then a following year appeared in Rear Window, which is a, a very famous Alfred Hitchcock movie. He was, it is, and he was the villain in that. But in 1959, he was cast as Perry Mason, and that kind of got him worldwide fame and fortune, he won him two Emmys. And then once that ended, he took on the role of Ironside where he played a detective

who was confined to a wheelchair, and that earned him another six Emmy nominations. Now, with researching this, he made up a lot of facts about his life. He made up the fact that he had a wife and child, who he said had both passed away. He also said that he'd served in the Second World War and was wounded. None of this was true, but this was done to hide the fact that he was gay, which would have ruined his career if it had have gone public. So he was kind of creating this wall. Wow, that's interesting.

I didn't know he was gay. And so as you were saying that, I was like, why would he make stuff up? And right, because, listen, back then, from what I understand, like I watched a number of movies about like the early days of Hollywood, in the 30s, 40s, 50s, and 60s, I suppose. And there was, you know, there wasn't a whole lot that stars could do if they were gay. They, there was sort of an un, if they tried to keep it secret, the tabloids would always find out. And then it was about working with those tabloids to ensure that the news never did come out.

And that was very much the case with Raymond. He was actually very close friends with probably one of the most problems. prominent gossip columnist of the time. And she knew that he was gay, but made sure that it was kind of kept out of the press and things like that. So he was able to kind of keep that from getting out, which unfortunately at the time would have probably ended his career. But that's also why he would make up things like being wounded in the Second World War because there was a very common view that, you know, any soldier who served and served their country couldn't possibly be gay. So it was just him trying to protect himself. But, you know, apart from acting, he,

He was an avid collector of art, of wine, stance, and seashells. He also cultivated orchids and added 1,500 new orchids to the worldwide catalog. Yeah, he was a man who had a vast array of interests, but he was also very charitable. And he was always willing to help others with his fame and his wealth and was just a really beloved man. And then he eventually would pass away from cancer in 1993. And what is this? They made 26 Perry Mason movies, but it was a TV show, yes? Yeah, so from 1985 to 1993, he made 26 of those Perry Mason TV movies that were very popular.

And then he also appeared in Godzilla, 1985, kind of reprises his role from 1956. All right, let's listen to a clip of this week's episode of Canadian History X about Raymond Burr. When Irvin Pringle, who was responsible for makeup on the show collapsed from an ulcer, Raymond took him to the hospital personally and stayed with him all night. He also expanded the Perry Mason family when he heard that George Stone, a fellow actor, had gone blind and was unable to work. Raymond hired Stone to be the court clerk, which meant all he had to do was sit in a chair during courtroom scenes

to collect a steady paycheck. And he also used his fame and fortune for good. He gave his money to anybody who asked, whether there was friends, strangers, or charities. He sponsored children living in impoverished countries and he often showed pictures of them to friends and family like a proud father. One day on set he was told about a young girl who was burned in a fire. She told the press that she recovered that she hoped to get an autographed photo of Perry Mason.

But Raymond, he did her one better. He flew to visit her personally in the hospital as she recovered, and when reporters showed up, he told him to get out of the room, and he refused to let them take a picture of the private moment between them. That's very, very sweet. Let's talk a little bit more about his private life. Did he ever find love? He did actually. It's kind of a really nice story. So in 1960, he met an actor on the set of Perry Mason named Robert Benevis. And he would eventually give up acting in 1963. But he and Raymond stayed together until Raymond's death. So they were together for 33 years. And obviously at the time weren't able to marry or anything like that. But yeah, he did meet somebody. A lot of people thought he was like a production assistant because he was always around Raymond. People very close to Raymond knew what was going on. But, yeah, he did meet somebody. A lot of people thought he was like a production assistant because he was always around Raymond. People very close to Raymond knew what was going on. But. But,

But everybody else just thought he was somebody who was, you know, an assistant or something like that. But they had a very close and loving life together for for over three decades. And did he ever, I mean, did he ever publicly come out as gay or did that come out after he passed away? It came out after the fact. He never revealed it during his life, but it was kind of reported in the press upon his death. I mean, 1993 was still pretty early. If you think about like Freddie Mercury, didn't really officially come out till near the end of his life. But obviously nowadays it wouldn't be such a big deal.

But back then it was something that, you know, people kept very close to their chest because it could end, unfortunately, completely end a career. You know, every actor wishes they could have at least one role that sort of defined, was definitional of pop culture. And Perry Mason, the lawyer. I mean, we all know Perry Mason. Even people who've never watched the show know who Perry Mason is. Oh yeah, I mean, they just did a reboot of it too.

I mean, that's how well-known it was. And, yeah, and then have Perry Mason and then have Ironside, like one right after the other. Yeah, just two hit shows over the course of, you know, 18 years. Yeah, and that was back in the day when television network TV was a juggernaut. And when people would watch, you'd get 20 million viewers for a show sometimes. So if he was one of the biggest stars on TV, he was one of the biggest stars anywhere. And Craig Baird, as always, really appreciate you coming in and helping us know a little bit more about our own history. Thank you very much, sir.

Oh, thank you. And just a reminder, if you want more BMS, we put out the podcast each and every day. And you can find more content on X, on Instagram, and on YouTube.