The Best of Car Talk - #2447: Anything but Cars

Episode Date: June 11, 2024

Poor Keller. She just wanted help with her Toyota pickup, but Click and Clack want to discuss anything but that. Will she hang on the line long enough to get an answer? Find out on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Last year, over 20,000 people joined the Body Electric study to change their sedentary screen-filled lives. And guess what? We saw amazing effects! Now you can try NPR's Body Electric Challenge yourself. Listen to updated and new episodes wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tapper Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the Consumer Complaint Division here at Car Talk Plaza. Oh they on our case again? No, not yet, not quite. I hold in my hand the National Association of

Attorneys General, Attorneys General. Yeah. List of top 10 consumer complaint categories. Okay these are in ascending order. Yeah. So this is the tenth most complained about thing, the thing I'll read first. Yeah, got it. Telemarketing. Nine, electronic devices. Yeah, I'm so far... Eight, miscellaneous. Includes car talk. Oh, okay, we're up there with number eight. Subscriptions. Yeah. Next, furniture appliances and home furnishings are number six. What's the complaint about that? Well, I don't know. The thing didn't work the way it was supposed to.

The couch wasn't as comfortable as it was in the store. I don't know. You got ripped off. Five. Credit. Yeah, I can complain about that. Four. Mail order includes car talk.

Retail sales includes car talk. Two. Home repair and construction. You're about to become intimately familiar with that category. I am. And, brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I believe and actually the article was about leases Get this here's what some dealers do For example give us an example. Why don't you what do I give you an example? Some dealers are not subtracting trade-in value from the price of a lease So you say you go when you want to lease a car and the price is 20,000 bucks

I say I wanted to trade in like my Dodge Dakota, you want to lease a car, and the price is $20,000. And let's say I wanted to trade in my Dodge Dakota. You want to check it? They want to subtract the $200? So when a customer trades in a $3,000 car against a vehicle priced at $20,000, instead of deducting the $3,000, the dealer raises the price of the leased car to $23,000 and then deducts the $23,000. Yeah, but that's what they do when you go to buy the thing. Why should they do it any differently when you lease it?

That's right. I mean, leasing is... What's the first question they ask you when you go to buy a car? Is your IQ over 10. Do you have a trade-in? Yeah. And what is it? And they immediately inflate the price by the trade... Yeah. I mean, I can't believe... I can't believe that automotive...

We have a flasher in our midst. We're being flashed by Scott Simon. Nice seeing you, Chippendale. What are you guys doing? We're doing a show here, buddy. You're doing a show here? We were trying to do a show here, buddy. I'm sorry.

I don't drive. We noticed. You do a weekly radio show about cars? Yes, we do. That's ridiculous. People hear one or two and they never tune back. Surely everything about cars is in that one or two shows, aren't they? No one has ever listened to us. There are no Americans that listen anymore. We're big in Albania now.

Boy, isn't that true, isn't that? Bad cars are an industry in Albania. Have you driven any more since then? I haven't driven since you gave me the driving lessons. No, I told the authorities in the District of Columbia who gave me driving lessons and they say it's more important than ever to keep me off the streets. Well, sorry. That's all right. No, no, no, really, nice seeing you, David Wright. Okay, and stay out!

Okay, rolling right along. Rolling right along. Scott Simon was actually doing a show here in these very studios. Yes, he was. And now we get rid of him. I flashed him earlier. Yeah, but it is unbelievable that that automobile dealers would do the things, the blatant things that they do. They have a lot of courage, automobile dealers. Other people would try to sleaze you, but they would do it a little bit more. Was that their only dirty trick?

Well, it's the only one that's listed here. It was just giving an example. They could never, it would take a book to give you what, all of the things that they do. Well, maybe they can have this thing where you can get them at the supermarket. You know, you buy $20 worth of groceries, you get a book for a dollar. You get a book, sleleazy practices A through mmm. If you want to call us with your complaint about your car or your car dealer or whatever,

our phone number is 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Keller from Washington, D.C. Keller? That's right. K-E-L-L-E-R. That's right. Now, does anyone else on the planet have that name?

A couple of shows ago you had someone call in with that name as a matter of fact. Oops. It was the first time I had heard it. It was a guy though. Yes it was, you're right. Oh you remember. Yes I do. So how did you happen upon this name?

I mean you have to tell us, it is unusual. I really do? Well no, I mean you have to tell us it is unusual. I really do You know, you don't have to do anything It is the it is the last name of your of someone in your mother's family. No, that's not true No, I made it up. You made it up I was born Kelly and I didn't like that and how old were you when you made this serious choice? Oh in my 20s So you're legally now Keller?

You went and changed all your driver's license as Keller? Well, my driver's license says Keller, yes. It does. That'll do it. I'm changing my name to Scout. International Scout. Okay, Keller, we've badgered you enough about your name. What's your question?

Where'd you say you were from, Keller? DC. DC, pay attention! Yeah, Washington, DC. Oh, Washington, DC. You're not a lawyer or a politician, are you? No. Graduate student. Good. Okay, what can we do for you? Graduate student. That's next on the list. Graduate student. Are you a graduate student?

Yes, I'm a graduate student. Are you an art history major? No, I'm in sociolinguistics. Oh, right up there with art history. Sociolinguistics. Yeah, slightly more there with art history. Sociolinguistics. Yeah, slightly more useful. We can get back to that. Yeah, okay. Can I get to my problem? I'm sure that our listeners would love to know what a sociolinguistic person does. Well, Keller's gonna tell us all about it in the second half of the show. We can talk about cars

first. What's your problem? Okay, so here's my story. My partner and I are driving down the road. Hurry it up, will you? We're almost out of time. We're in our 92 Toyota pickup. Sure. OK, and along comes this woman, and she says, hey, your passenger rear wheel is wobbling. Wobbling, wobbling.

So we check, and there's nothing loose. It's not like, you know, everything's tightened down. But the wheel is definitely wobbling So we have no idea like did a heinous pothole cause this Yeah, or we had an accident a couple of years ago and we don't know whether for two years now We've been driving around with this wobble. So I don't know. Is it dangerous? What is it and how much is it gonna cost to have it fixed? You've been going out with this guy for two years? No, we've been married for almost seven.

Ah, cool. Alright. And yet you refer to him as your partner. Yes. You know what I now refer to my wife as? What? Yes. I've heard you talk about your wife.

She's hoping to rip out our perfectly adequate kitchen and make a new one out of it. Yeah, one that has like a sink and a stove. Any event, we can't afford to do this, so we had to go to the bank and borrow like 20, 30,000 bucks. I don't know how much it was. So we got this 30 year mortgage for the kitchen. And on it, she is referred to as co-applicant. So now I call her my co-applicant.

Isn't that cool? That is cool. Okay, I'm sorry to get off the track here. That's all right. My co-questioner and I would like to know. Is it dangerous? Yes. Probably not, seeing you've been driving like this for two years. Was it caused by the accident? Very likely. Okay. And what is it? I'll get to in a second. Okay. But

the way to find out what's going on is to swap the wheels. Take another wheel which you know doesn't wobble and put it on that side. Okay. And if the wobbling is gone, then it is entirely the wheel that's responsible However, I'm going to suggest that the wheel is probably okay And what happened during the accident is that the axle flange got bent? If you were to take off the wheel and then take off the brake drum You would be left with this thing that has five or six studs threaded stud sticking out of it And that is the axle flange.

That is the end of the axle. And when you had your accident, if it was there, it's possible that flange got bent enough to make that thing wobble like crazy. If I swap the wheels and the problem is not solved. Then you have to reopen the case. You have to call Paul Drake Detective Agency and reopen the case with the insurance company, and they will pay. Oh, okay. Probably, although they'll claim that you did it some other way. They'll claim that you backed into something, but you'd have to really get walloped to bend that axle flange. Driving over curb stones and whatnot wouldn't do it. Never. Potholes? No. No, no. You gotta get hit. You gotta get hit

on a side impact, direct hit. So if you didn't have that in the accident, then that's not the problem, it's the rim. Good luck, Keller. Wait a minute, whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait, we should answer question number three. What is the question? Oh, is it danger snow?

No, we got that. What is it we got? How much is it to fix it? Oh, I imagine a few hundred dollars. A few hundred. You have to replace the axle. Oh, ugh. But you could buy one at the junkyard.

Okay. You could buy a used one. Don't forget the one on the other side is used. And you're perfectly happy with that one. You're right. Alright, uh, sociolinguistics, excuse me? I knew you were going to get to that. Yeah, I mean, what does it mean? Well, things like why I decided to use partner instead of spouse. Yeah, I was going to ask that was my next question.

Yeah. In general, social linguistics is the use of words. Of language, yes. Language. How people use it. Language, how they use it differently. And what it means sociologically. I would say social.

That sounds right. That's what it means. Good enough. And so why did you use partner? I just Use it because I don't like the term spouse There are a lot of people who have partners life partners who don't have access to the institution of marriage And yeah, so also you don't want to discriminate against them by using the word spouse. Yes I think it's a more general that's very egalitarian of you a more general and descriptive term

Are you a tree hugger also? I think co-applicant is even better. Well applicants even better. Okay, right? Yeah, co-applicants good Applicant actually I've heard I've heard a lot of people just use the word companion. I think you should start using companion Okay, just for you. I'll start using companion. All right, killer I'm gonna tell my co-applicant about this and see what she thinks. Okay. See you later. Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot.

Bye. Guess what? The Puzzler answer and more calls are coming up right after this. All that sitting and swiping, your body is adapting to your technology. Learn how and what you can do about it. I really felt like the cloud in my brain kind of dissipated. Once I started realizing what a

difference these little bricks were making, there's no turning back for me. Take NPR's Body Electric Challenge. Listen to the series wherever you get your podcasts. On this week's episode of Wild Card, comedian Bowen Yang says you don't have to feel bad for falling short on mindfulness. I get in my own way by like over privileging the present. That's so interesting because everyone wants to be in the present. I feel like being present is overrated. I'm Rachel Martin. Join us for NPR's Wild Card podcast, the game where cards control the conversation.

I'm Rachel Martin. After hosting Morning Edition for years, I know that the news can wear you down. So we made a new podcast called Wild Card, where a special deck of cards and a whole bunch of fascinating guests help us sort out what makes life meaningful. It's part game show, part existential deep dive, and it is seriously fun. Join me on Wildcard wherever you get your podcasts, only from NPR. Support for NPR and the following message come from the Walton Family Foundation, working

to create access to opportunity for people in communities by tackling tough social and environmental problems. More information is at waltinfamilyfoundation.org. Okay, it's time to answer last week's puzzler, but before I do that, I have to apologize for a gaffe. And my brother is sorry that he said that. No, no, it's not that I'm doing it for Christ's sake. And Andre Cladrescu is sorry that he said it. No, several weeks ago, we had a puzzler about what would the car be if the license plate

read TAN 270. Did we get a pile of mail on this one? It was an error because tangent of 270 is not infinity. No, it's not. No, it is undefined. Yeah, but I mean, you know, many of us. It's close to infinity. I it's not. No it is undefined. Yeah but I mean many of us... It's close to infinity. I mean come on let's not get... Well I mean why is it undefined? Because you're dividing by... Negative 1 over 0. Yeah and so it's negative 1. Right. And I mean I think the scientists...

I don't know but mathematicians worldwide agree that the tangent of 270 is not infinity. Well they can agree to anything they want. I mean, what is this concept of infinity? And if there's a positive infinity, why is there not a negative one? Right? I mean, why not? Is this going to be one of those days where everything I say gets you started, or what? Well, this has been festering ever since I read all this mail. And...

Take a pill, will ya? I mean, if you had a number line. Alright already. 1, 2, 3, 4. If you went as far as you could go in that direction you'd be where? Infinity. Well what if you went the other way? You'd be lost.

You'd be lost. You'd be 9 minus infinity. So on the other hand. I agree. I always agree with you. They're still right that the car would not be called a minus infinity, so... No. It's a 1996 undefined. Undefined.

All right. Here's the answer to last week's puzzler. Yeah. Which was devised especially for the vacationing school kids in our audience. I thought the little minds might be getting dull and they needed something to keep them sharp because before you know it kids, it'll be September and you'll be back at school. Yeah, or before you know it, you'll have to get a job. That'll be even worse. Now for the purpose of this puzzler,

we had stated unequivocally that potatoes are 99% water and 1% potato. Yeah, this was a good one. Now let's say you take 100 pounds of potatoes and you set them out in the back porch and you're going to dry them out. As they begin to dry out, the water of course begins to evaporate and after a while enough water has evaporated so that the potatoes are now 98% water.

The question was very simple. If you were to weigh the potatoes at that moment when they are 98% water, how much would they weigh? Now, unencumbered by the thought process as usual, my brother guessed 99 pounds. Yeah, when I guessed at it, I came up with 90 pounds, I think, when I just took a guess at it. Sure. Because it feels, it just felt right. It just feels right, yeah.

Well, if you do the math, 1% of 100, which is what the potato is, is one pound. And that's what we told you, that's the 1%. So 2%, when it's 98% water, 2% of the new weight of the mass is going to still be equal to that one pound, because one pound is potato, and 2% of 50 pounds is a pound. So the potato weight now is 50 pounds and not 100. Pretty darn good, eh? It's pretty darn good. It really is, man, I loved it.

Yeah, well think of how far the thing has to go for the thing to be 50% water. The mass is gonna be now two pounds. That's right. To get even to 50%. 50% Jerry! Do we have a winner? Yes, we have a winner. The winner this week is Greg Warcholl from Chicago, Illinois. And as our winner this week, Greg will receive the following fabulous prizes. Now count these. Fabulous prizes now counties number one a best of car talk CD

Mm-hmm number two a flimsy cassette with a copy of this very program on it Which can be recorded over very easily Greg don't worry pretty nifty and three are Cecile Apologies for spilling the beans and letting all your friends and colleagues know that you listen to this nonsensical stupid show at least once maybe not every week. Well the final puzzler I should mention of the semester. Oh. Coming up during the second half of today's show. Plus we're gonna play Stump the Chumps so stick around for that. If you'd like to call us with a question about your car we're here at 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Lexi as in Sexy from San Francisco. Lexi as in Sexy. Lexi, where are you from? San Francisco. Why are we not surprised? Anyway, Lexi, what's on your mind today? This is a lesbian divorce question regarding the custody battle of one 1994 Toyota pickup

truck. Oh. Although my ex-girlfriend made the majority of payments on the vehicle, the vehicle is under my name because we traded in my car, a Cherry 1993 Toyota Celica, as a down payment for this truck. She states she needs the truck for her construction job, but I need it for my filmmaking equipment and my Springer spaniel.

So your car got traded in, and you didn't pay too much money for this pickup truck in that case. That's right. What was the price of the pickup and how much did they give you on the Celica? Well, let's put it this way. I still had payments left on the car. Oh, the Celica.

I'd say I had about $4,000. They probably gave you $10 for it. And the pickup truck is about $11. Yeah. The situation now is that I go, you're not going to believe this I go every Friday to the BART station and I pick up the truck. Oh I see. Uh-huh. And I have the truck for half of the week and then she has it for the other half of the week Because you know, we can't resolve this and it's terrible. I'm getting really neurotic and every time I get the truck back

I go and I look in You know everywhere looking for evidence of what she did for the week Anxiety it just keeps me like Unable to continue and move on move on And and part of moving on is going to involve resolving this thing satisfactorily. There's no chance that one party could buy the other out? Well, see, here's the thing. She doesn't want to do this. This is an addendum to the story though. She just won a huge settlement for a sexual harassment lawsuit and is better financially able to invest in a new car or to buy me out.

Sure. Well, she's got to do that. Yeah, I think she's got to buy you out. Yeah, I mean, obviously... You don't want the truck anymore because it has bad vibes. This truck has dragon tracks. You think so? Yeah, I think so. Sure. Sure, I mean, you're under the seat looking for stubs

from movie theaters, I mean, come on. You need something different. That had not occurred to me. You think I should sell it, I should trade it in. Well, I think you should go to a dealer and find out what the retail value of the thing is. And then you have to figure out who paid what, and you have to do the requisite arithmetic

to figure out who owes who what. She wants the truck and she has the money to pay for it. So that's it, I mean, that sounds simple to me. Well, on the other hand, if you only got, if you wound up with no truck and just a few thousand bucks, you would then have no truck either. Would you be able to go and buy one? Well, here's the problem.

I knew that was the problem. I'm a filmmaker, and I make the little short kind of film that show in museums and festivals money is that what you're trying to say so it's always if you got a few thousand dollars out of this you would be carless still but you can only look you could buy a secondhand truck and a jalapey which might serve you need sure change your whole life there's nothing that changes your life more than driving around in a heap.

You meet an entirely different class of people, you interact entirely differently with the people, you become, as we say in the East, You become one with the common people. A jamoke. Winos ask you if they can sleep in the back of the truck. It happens to my brother, hey, you guys sleep in your car? Oh yeah, thanks, friends. And you have no qualms about saying, sure, you wanna sleep in my car, what's the difference?

The raccoons are there now, what's the difference? Whereas if you were driving in a Lexi Lexus, you wouldn't want any drunks sleeping in the back of your car. I think this is the best thing that could ever happen to you, Lexi. Let her buy you out, take whatever money you get, buy an old beat up truck. Okay well you guys I'll be having to call you again with all kinds of mechanical questions

next. That's why we want you to buy a heap. Good luck Lexi. Take care. Bye bye. Be sure to stick around for more calls and the new puzzler coming right up. Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk on National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers, and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and the psychopathological self-esteem vehicle hypothesis.

Hit it, Tommy. Here it is. My name is Jonathan Shadman. I'm 13 years old, and I live in our fair city. A large problem in our society today is that some people think they are better than others. We don't have that problem. We know it. We're not better than anybody.

I was in our family car, a 1994 Tracell, at a stoplight when this guy in a Lexus pulls up to us and stops Expecting him to roll down the window and ask for mustard Dijon I was completely shocked at what happened next He did indeed look at us and just frowned in disg, as if anyone driving such a monstrosity should be shot. As he sped away, I thought he wouldn't look so cocky if he drove a Dodge Dart. No, he wouldn't.

This kid is perspicacious. In fact, he'd feel totally crummy. Hey, watch it, you little brat! So I formulated my psychopathological self-esteem vehicle hypothesis. If everyone drove Dodge darts, nobody would feel inferior or superior to anyone else. To accomplish this, we could launch all the non-darts into space as a gift to any intelligent life out there and set up a new government agency the NDDA, the National Dart Distribution Agency

to work hand-in-hand with Dodge to provide every American with a factory fresh bright green Dodge Dart. Wow! And we could do this with no extra cost to the taxpayers since we just use all the money from such governmental frivolities such as school lunches and welfare. Within two years of total dartness on America's roads everyone would be too depressed or busy repairing their darts. And we can call it the Dart ages.

The ages. Everyone would be too busy repairing their darts. To be mean to anyone else. His dart. Think of it. It would also cause a dramatic increase in the demand for mechanics. That's you guys. Love your show and your website.

John. John, what a guy. Well, I have to agree with John entirely. Jeez. I mean, there are all kinds of other problems that arise from having cars that are too nice. I mean, for example, you crash into some guy driving a 96 Lexus.

He has a conniption. Oh. Right? Of course. The last time your car got crashed into. Did you even 96 Lexus. Yeah. He has a conniption. Oh! Right? Of course. The last time your car got crashed into, did you even bother to get out to look? Of course not. No, you, what did you do? You waved to the guy that crashed into you. I waved, I said, I hope everything's okay.

He said, I'm fine. I said, so am I, and we just drove away. Cars shouldn't come through painted, by the way. There should be a law. Prite. Prite is good. Pre-rusted. Pre-rusted is better. It's vented. When you buy a car, it should look like a brown paper bag on the way. There should be a law. Pre-rusted. Pre-rusted is better. When you buy a car it

should look like a brown paper bag on the outside. It should be all scrunched up and ugly so that that element is removed. And if you don't like the way your car looks, then don't own one. But all cars, by law, should be made to look ugly. So I think John has really got something because things happen. Well we have to we have to meet with Jonathan to have we have to. He says he lives in our fair city. We even have his we now have his email address. We'll have to email him and meet him at the Tasty someday to discuss this further with him because he can be our spokesperson. Our spokesperson but it but in a spiritual sense we needs

to wear the robes he can be the 13 13-year-old guru. Oh! Right? The Dalai doctor. I think so. That's him. That's him. He'll have to drop out of school, but hey, it's a small price to pay. Well, he wants to get rid of welfare and school lunches anyway. Right. Stupid.

All right, it's time for the new puzzler, and we haven't got much time, and I did say this is the ultimate puzzler of the scholastic year. As you know, the puzzler goes on vacation when the school kids go on vacation because our kids go on vacation we go on vacation and we can't think of puzzles because it's too hard because we get them from our kids and if they're not around well there's no puzzles who did this come from this came from Morris T Erickson from Sacramento California and. And here it is. A special vehicle was first produced in 1949. It was powered then by a Jeep engine,

but now uses a Volkswagen engine. It has a base price of $50,000. It is never raced, but can often be found in a closed course, so to speak. Yeah. A famous sports celebrity was the first sales representative for this vehicle. What is the vehicle and who was that famous sports celebrity that we know so well? Now if you think you know the answer...

Oh, this is like a two or three part question, none of which I can remember. Two, basically a two part question. What's the vehicle? And who was the sports personality? Now if you think you know the answer, you can email it to us by visiting CarTalk.com on the web, or you can send a postcard to Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3500, Harvard Square, Cambridge, Our Fair City, I'm sorry, I was taking a nap. What's that again?

Cambridge? Our Fair City. Oh, I'm sorry. I was taking a nap. What's that again? Cambridge? Our Fair City. Matt 02238. And if we choose your correct answer at random and you catch us, we'll send you a copy of the best of Car Talk. So think twice before you enter. Now if you'd like to call us with a question about your car, our number is 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk.

This is Matthew from Detroit. Hey, Matt. Hey, I got a question for you. Yeah? I have an 87 Mazda 626LX and bought it from a friend of mine. Car runs great. It's gotten 150,000 miles on it. Runs fine.

When I bought it from this friend of mine, she told me that there was a rubber piece in the steering that would eventually need to be replaced. I don't know what it is or what I'm looking for. What it does is, especially when it's wet out and I'll start turning, it'll make a noise, something along the lines of thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk. And right now the steering is getting kind of stiff She said she took it to the dealer and they oiled it up or something at one point

Yeah, when you take a sharp turn you're hearing boom boom boom boom with every rotation of the wheel that you're getting the boom Yes, boom. There isn't any rubber piece any place that's gonna make a noise like this Well, this car has a shaft that goes with it. It does have a universal joint, I believe, to get the... It goes straight down. It goes straight down right to the rack and pinion. Right. Okay, so there is nothing there.

I mean, I suspect the only rubber piece that she may be talking about is not really related to the steering because there are bellows on the rack and pinion that could be bad, but it's more likely that what she was referring to was a constant velocity joint. Exactly. So at this point, let me get this right, Matt. You've been willing at this point to risk your life driving this car until you can get us on the phone. Is that true? Is that what it boils down to? More or less. More or less, yeah. I mean, you haven't considered taking it into anyone. You're waiting to hear from us.

Sure, why not? Well, of course. You guys are the Lord Saders of automobiles And our advice is what? Is golden And what else? Free! Free! Exactly right

No, I mean it honestly doesn't sound like something in the steering Okay It does sound like the constant velocity joint to me Mm-hmm Uh Would this also cause the steering to go stiff? That was the only problem I was having with all of this answer, is that none of it would cause the steering to be stiff.

See, subconsciously, I eliminated that whole... No, no, that was in the back of my mind because when you threw that in at the end, that's been troubling me ever since you said it. And it goes stiff under what are the certain... I don't mean to trouble you guys or anything. I just want to give my power. No, no, it's alright man. There's a pain in the neck. That's alright. We want... we're here for the... for truth, justice, and the American way, and our looking stupid doesn't mean anything. Under what circumstances does the steering

get stiff? Only when it's turned to the extreme? No, when I'm turning, period. Now I've found that after a while it'll loosen up, but I check the power steering fluid and it's full and good. I thought maybe that was the problem. Is it worse on cold mornings? Yes. Okay, well the rack could be going. Yeah. The what could be going? The rack and pinion could be going the way out.

Oh, okay. All the pump could be bad. You have to have your shop. You can't rely on us for this, or for anything for that matter. You're gonna have to have your shop test the pressure of the power steering pump to see if it's within specs. If it is, then the rack is going bad. My guess is you need, number one, a new axle.

Ooh. Okay, on the right front wheel. Okay. That's where the noise is coming from? Yeah, somewhere in the front of the car hood. Okay, well that's good. I think you need a new axle and you're going to need a rack and pinion. So you got some serious thinking to do.

I would sit down in a quiet place. Quiet contemplative. Try to recall your mantra. Uh huh. And chant. Chanting helps. Chanting helps. Any suggestions on the chant?

I always use the same one, why kiki beach. Why kiki beach. And that seems to help me. So give it a shot, man. His other one is towel boy. See you later. Good luck. Bye bye. Thanks for calling. Well, you've squandered another perfectly good hour. Listen, a perfectly good hour of your summer, I might add. Yeah. Listening to car talk, our esteemed producer is Doug the subway fugitive, not a slave to fashion, pumpkin lips, yes dear, Berman. Mr. Berman.

Oh, Mr. Berman, now that he's married. How is it being married, Dougie? Wonderful, huh? What was that you said? He just pulled his pants way up to his chest. Oh yeah, sure, now he says great. Wonderful. All right, hope Sip's not listening.

He said wonderful, dear. Our associate producer and dean of the Sip's not listening. He said, wonderful deer. Our associate producer and dean of the College of Automusicology is Ken Babyface Rogers. Our assistant producer is Catherine Cathode-Ray. Oh, good. Our engineer this week is Karen Given. And our long-lost technical advisor, back from the spring 96 free lunch Grand Nationals, is John Bugsy, Sebastian, Mr. Height, Sweet Cheeks, Free Lunch, Twinkle Toes, Hula Hips, Donut Breath, 2 Gigabytes, Make That 3 Triple Cheeseburgers, Lawler.

Our public opinion pollster is Paul Murky of Murky Research, assisted by statistician Margin O'Vara. Our automotive medical researcher is Dr. Denton Fender. Our director of new product repair is Warren T. Myfoot. Our director of gender studies is Amanda B. Reckonwith. Our director of pedestrian operations is a man to be reckoned with our director of pedestrian operations is carless castaneda The designer of our casual clothing line is no tie woo our staff Creeve counselor is Ariel Bummerman our marriage counselors Marion Haste the curator of Tom's car collection is Rex galore

Our staff urologist is willa catheter. Our director of country music is Stan Byerman. The chairman of our underemployment study group is Arc Majors. Our conservative political commentator is Eileen Tudor Wright. The chairman of our Joint Chiefs of Staffs, staff is John Shalai Papawili. And our timing director is Benjamin, not yet you, Yahoo! I was wondering what we're gonna do with him. Our chief counsel from the law firm of Dewey, Cheatham & Howe is U. Lewis Dewey, known to the bench warmers in Harvard Square as Uee Louee Dewey. Thanks so much for listening. We're Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers and Don't Drive Like My Brother.

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