The Best of Car Talk - #2461: Male Answer Syndrome

Episode Date: July 30, 2024

If a tree falls in the forest and there isn't a man there to tell us why it just fell over... did a tree really fall? Click and Clack mansplain it all on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

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or go to plus.npr.org slash car talk. That's plus.npr.org slash car talk. Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the new dance division here at Car Talk Plaza. Now, I'm sure none of you know this yet, but my brother has invented a new dance. Yes, I have. I'm sure will soon sweep the nation. Now the exhaust system on his beloved 63 Dart bit the farm this week.

Yeah. Bought the farm? Bitten the farm? Bought the farm. Bitten the dust. Bought the bucket. So he called me and whined and I told him I was too busy and that he should go someplace else, which is what I always tell him.

So he took the thing to his local muffler shop, where they gave him an estimate, and upon hearing the estimate, he spontaneously invents this new dance. He put his left hand out, then his right hand out. You got it? You know what I'm doing? Then he reached for the guy's neck. Then he put one hand, then the other on his hips. Told him where he could put his muffler.

Then he put his left hand on his forehead and said, geez, I don't know how you guys stay in business with these prices. Then he put his right hand on his back pocket to make sure his wallet was still there. Then he spun around 180 degrees and hopped out the door. So you got it, it's left hand out, right hand out, left hand on the hip, right hand on the hips, left

on the forehead, right on the wallet, spin, hop hop hop. You know what we call this new dance? The Mufflerena. That's bad. That's bad. I like it, I like it. Bad. Alright, I know you don't have a letter to read. I don't. BAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN This is Kathy and I'm from Castro Valley, California. Caster? Castro. Castro.

Like Fidel. Castro Valley. Yeah. What's up, Kathy? Well, my husband bought a 1984 F-150, and it was dead when we bought it. And it's been in the backyard for about four years now. And we bought a boat, and he wants to pull this boat.

It's a 5 five thousand pound boat he's put a lot of money to pick up this truck and now he tells me after thousands of dollars and a new engine and new transmission and new brakes and a radiator new tires everything now he tells me the thing that will make it strong enough to tow this boat will be making it a dually a dually for people that don't know it is a dual double rear axle we have to

actually two wheels on each on each on each and each side in the back use you've seen those the ones that stick way out you gotta be a real man to drive one of those babies i don't think that really got work but promise me that but it could be what do you think a problem with this i have a problem picking more money into this thing well i think he's probably right i mean i don't think you could lay five thousand

pounds on the back of that uh... f one fifty uh... i don't know the boat was five thousand pounds after all it's once i mean how much could it wait but like the queen mary only way twenty two fifty weighs 5,000 pounds, but after all it floats. I mean how much could it weigh? Like the Queen Mary only weighs 2250. Now that's just the boat and the trailer too. The trailer's like 1500 pounds. Oh yeah, plus his fishing gear. He's gonna need the rod, the tackle box and all that stuff. Right, but don't forget, the whole 5,000 pounds is not sitting on that rear axle.

Right. Because you got wheels on the on the trailer So it's the tongue weight Take back what I said it probably is okay to carry this on an f-150 Just like it is okay if half the weight is being carried by the trailer Then you're only carrying 2,500 pounds at most on the tongue. Oh you could carry nothing on the tongue the tongue weight could be zero. It could be if it were balanced. So I mean it's a pickup truck it's supposed to carry something. Yeah but wait wait is it a one

ton pickup truck? This would clue us in. No it's a half-ton pick-up probably a half a half ton pickup truck and it and it probably I do it's it's what? We'll drive No, you didn't you didn't say this is a real he man's he's just getting a little testosterone poisoning here No, I don't think this has the the the muscle to do this job What do you mean? She didn't tell you what it's got for an engine. It's a 351 Windsor. What's wrong with that? Well you know your stuff, Cathy.

I work at a Ford dealership. Oh, you're the perfect one to find... you know the truth. You must have asked... You know the answer. You must have asked somebody. Why are you calling us? Because he doesn't listen to me when it comes to things. Ah, okay, so you want us to... here's what we'll do. Did you investigate us? Because he doesn't listen to me when it comes to this. Ah, okay, so you want us to...

Here's what we'll do. Did you investigate this? A little bit. What's the towing capacity of this thing? I don't know, I can't remember. Oh, come on, Kathy, you can remember. All right, I understand the problem here. Okay. He won't listen to you. Right. So you just need to have some authoritative voice say that it's no problem whatsoever. Right, who knows more than you do? Here's what I'll do. We will now repeat our answer, but we won't waffle in the slightest. And then we will fix the tape so all of the stuff in the middle disappears and it'll sound like your question and we will just jump right in with the following answer.

Kathy, I've checked the specs on this and there's absolutely no problem handling five thousand pounds on this f one fifty what you said in eighty four yeah i think that the max on that is fifty one hundred and three pounds so i think you're all set on that kathy okay we'll send you that tape for fifty bucks no i mean to to be serious for just a minute uh... it is it's possible that this thing doesn't have

the cooling system to handle this. It doesn't have heavy-duty enough brakes to handle this. Don't forget, you have to not only move it, but you have to stop it. Yeah. And you may be, I don't know where you're going to go with this thing. Castro Valley is not on the ocean. We take it to lakes. Lakes. Ah.

So you move this thing, it's almost, this is tantamount to having a house that you move around. Basically, yeah, it's huge. It's 26 foot. 26. It's a big boat. It's a big boat. Yeah. Is he an automobile mechanic? How'd you know?

Ah! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Is he really? Well, actually, he's a truck mechanic. Ha, good! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! You know, when you worked here at Ford all those years, you could rebuild, you know, anything in a week and now four years it sits in the backyard and you can't make it right. Well, because first of all, it's a hobby, it's a pastime, it's a passion, it's something

he does for enjoyment and relaxation and stress reduction. And I think by denying, Kathy, Kathy, Kathy, Kathy, Kathy, Kathy, Kathy, a pastime, it's a passion, it's something he does for enjoyment and relaxation and stress reduction. And I think by denying him the opportunity to put the dualies on, I think you're taking away from him something that he desperately needs. Oh, man, listen to you. And I think it's nice that he takes... Well, this is the same logic I use when I ask my wife if I could buy a table saw, a

lathe, a jointer, a milling machine. See, I would look at it this way. The guy works as a mechanic all day and still is willing to come home at night and he's so happy with what he does that he continues to do it even in his off hours. Yeah, but it took four years. But nonetheless, I would be thankful that what he does during the day is not root canals. Yeah, but it took four years. But nonetheless, I would be thankful that what he does during the day is not root canals. Yeah, well.

Because he might come home and wanna practice on you, just for the heck of it, because he's so happy. Hey, Kathy, how about a root canal? Yeah. Right. Lie down there, hon, drink this fetal barbatoil. I mean.

I don't, I have to side with your husband, I'm afraid. Yeah? Well, I think, and this may sound awfully sexist, but I think guys need hobbies. He's got enough hobbies. He's got enough cars. He does? Oh, we had 13. Now we're down to just six, but... Kathy, I think you're cursed. It doesn't make any difference what he does to this.

If you deny him this, the next day, he will have three more vehicles in the yard. Oh, that's probably true. You know that? Yeah. I would let him work on this one. Let him do whatever he wants. Okay. All right, you're done for.

You know that. Yeah, I know. Give up. Thanks. See you, Kathy. Okay, bye. Bye. Hey, we've. Give up. Thank you. See you again. Okay, bye. Bye. Hey, we've got more calls and ready for this? The Puzzler ads are coming up right after this,

so don't go anywhere. Okay, Tommy Baby, are you ready? Aw, come on. I have for you a 1953 MGTD, if you can remember last week's puzzler. Ew! That does hurt. Time's up.

All right, I give up. All right, this story was sent to us by a listener named Bud Onstad from Fayetteville, North Carolina, and then obfuscated, of course, by yours truly. Here it is. Bud writes, we held, and then obfuscated, of course, by yours truly. Here it is. Bud writes, we helped my daughter and son-in-law buy a nice used 89-tercell with power steering, air conditioning, a five-speed transmission, and we took it to our mechanic and he said it looked great.

The only thing they added to the car was a cheap stick-on digital clock, new floor mats, and a pair of high-end fuzzy dice. Oh, Dougie just got the answer. Anyway, when they drove the car home and stopped at a rest stop, the car wouldn't restart. They turned the key nada, as they say, south of the border. No crank, no nothing. They tried several times and finally it started and it ran great.

When they arrived home, they called us and we called the previous owners and threatened the lawsuit, but they swore that it never ever happened to them. For a few days after that it would work one day and then not the next. And if they persisted in trying the key, it would finally work. Finally in desperation, they went to a Toyota dealership and had the car looked at. The dealer fixed it for nothing. The question was, what was it? Oh? Simple simple of course it's simple now that you know the answer now that you know that Berman got it

Not that I know that Berman got it now I I didn't say that that embedded in this problem were all the clues and it was something she had bought after she'd gotten the car Yeah, we know it wasn't the stick-on clock Unless it was draining the battery Wasn't the stick-on clock no wasn't the stick-on clock, unless it was draining the battery. It wasn't the stick-on clock. No. It wasn't the high-end fuzzy dice. No. It had to have been the floor mats.

Surely. This car, as many manual shift cars, have a switch which unenables the starter motor. Unenables. Unenables. Cool. It's a starter defeat switch, which requires that you step on the clutch pedal in order to start the car, because we're too stupid in this country to know enough to do that before you start the car.

When we start the car, and they were afraid that if some unsuspecting oaf were to start the thing in gear and crash into somebody else, then the company would be sued for millions and millions of dollars. Or if I, as I have done, drive into your garage door. Drive into your garage door. Those garage doors can't take a joke. No, not the wooden ones, anyway. So when she put these new, thick floor mats in, she was interfering with the operation of this switch.

And every once in a while, if she was interfering with the operation of this switch and every once in a while if she every once in a while if she was angry I suppose or persistent enough and push the clutch pedal down especially hard the car would start or maybe if the floor mat shifted position and of course all the dealer did was wing that floor mat into the back seat and solved her problem. Yippee and I suppose you're gonna ask me do we have a winner? No I'm not gonna ask ask you do we have a winner? I'm gonna ask you what the winner's name is. The winner's name is Seth Mitchell from St. Johnsbury, Vermont. Really? Yes, very good. And by having his correct answer selected at random as the winner this week, our buddy Seth gets a brand new Chad's House of Croissants t-shirt. As you know, we no longer pronounce that word the way

all those guys in Gaul want us to pronounce it. Actually, we should further anglicize it or Americanize it by just calling it Crescent. Crescent. And that's what it is after all. That's what it is. Chad's House of Crescents t-shirt. And the way that this Chad's House of Crescent t-shirt

is designed, it originally said Chad's house of Croissants on it. Someone crossed it out with big black X and scribbled above it, Car Talk and underneath it NPR. And that is the design that the visitors to the website decided was going to be the new design for the Car Talk t-shirt. And it saddens me to think that that's the case. And I don't want to insult Chad But it's all the winner of the winner. I'm sorry Seth. This is what I don't except but though the person who submitted Chad Yeah, I assumed it was Chad So anyway, that's what you want so like, if you don't like it, send it back.

We'll give it to some other... All right, we'll have a new puzzle coming up during the second half of Car Talk today, so stay tuned for that. It is a non-automotive puzzler, but it has historical implications and importance. I mean, you'll like it. If you'd like to call us, our number is 1-800-332-9287. Hello. You're in car talk Yeah, hi, this is Andy in Twin Falls, Idaho Andy Twin Falls, Idaho. Yeah, what's up in Twin Falls? I'm a budding shade tree mechanic. I guess that's the way I would put it. Yeah, right. This is great

anyway On several occasions. I've had to use the old mechanics trick of you know basically beating off the part with a hammer uh... when something's stuck yeah yeah people have said to me well you know if you if you can't get it off be with a hammer you know you might try

heated up with that propane torch yeah because you know that'll loosen up a little bit they're almost right well it doesn't seem right to me at all i mean i remember when i was in physics in college you know we'd we did this little experiment with the way you went to college yeah you want to be a mechanic well shape up with your car but uh...

i remember an experiment we did with this with which we took a brass ring and a brass sphere and the ring, or the sphere, fits through the ring. And then you heated up the ring and then the sphere didn't fit through the ring anymore. Yeah. Because when a solid expands, it expands in all directions. Correct. So if you had a brake drum, for example, that was stuck on the hub. Right. By heating it up,

you would make the hole in the drum smaller. It would make sense. And you would make the axle flange bigger, therefore swaging them together. Right. So the heating them up would in fact make it more difficult to get them apart. Well, that's the way it seems, but maybe I just have enough physics to really mess me up. Yeah, well, I don't know. I don't, yeah, yeah, I mean that is true.

I remember this experiment vividly. Yeah, except we did it in eighth grade, I think. In any case, the reason it does work, it does work. And for example, we heat up rusted bolts all the time that won't come out, our rusted nuts, you put the wrench on it and the thing won't budge. You heat it up with the torch and it walks right off. But that's different. Or you heat up a brake drum that won't come off.

Yeah, we know that. And the question is why does it work? Yeah. The physics, the laws of physics are not changed once you work on cars. They're the same. What's happening is that you are breaking the rust bonds. You are expanding that those metals enough to actually break the bonds that are holding those things together. Right, because the reason that these things

don't want to come off is not because the hole is too small, because it went on there already, so the hole is the right size. So when you're heating it up you're not heating it up so much to expand it, as you are to get rid of all the junk that's keeping it from coming out. And boy, we know it works. It may not work, however, with a Mickey Mouse little propane torch that you have, because you've got to really get some serious heat. I mean, a brake drum is a big heavy thing.

You need some real real you need nuclear power So your next acquisition has to be oh Settling come on you need it really if you're gonna pursue this as a hobby I mean I y'all yeah, absolutely there is no budding shade tree mechanic worth his salt who doesn't have oxyacetylene in his basement Right in fact if you don't have one, by the next time you call, we're going to refuse to talk to you. Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh yeah, but what does one of those cost, an oxy acetylene?

Who cares what it costs? Ha ha ha ha ha. But think of what you can do with an oxy acetylene torch. Oh yeah, you can make jewelry in your basement. I mean, it's endless, the things you can do with an oxy acetylene torch. You can cut through kryptonite. The reason I do home projects is not because I care the least about how my house looks or how long it's gonna last. I only do them so I can buy the equipment and tools necessary to do them so I can have them

because I like tools and equipment. Yeah. It's a strange thing that happens. It is strange. Why is it that men are so into all this stuff? I just have to figure out a reason for buying a Bridgeport milling machine. So I can put that in. I don't know anything that needs to be

I have a door that's sticking. Well, you can make the hinges. You can make new hinges. You're going to have to use CAD CAM to do it. Alright. So be it. The challenge though is not making the thing. The challenge is convincing your wife that you have to have it. Do you have a significant other to convince?

No, I don't. Oh, then there's no fun. Load up! Load up before you get married, man. Yeah. Yeah. Nice talking to you, Andy. Yeah, well, thanks a lot.

All right, see you later. Good luck. Bye. Did he have a question? I don't remember. We'll be right back with more calls and the new puzzler after these messages. Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk on National Public Radio with us clicking clack to Tappert Brothers,

and we're here to discuss, of course, cars, car repair, and most importantly, MAS. Yeah, David Leventhal sent us via the web MAS, male answer syndrome, and I haven't read this, I'll be perfectly honest, but the first paragraph was enough to tell me that I should read it and I'm gonna read it all. Oh, Kee Doggy! Male answer syndrome why men always have opinions even on subjects they know nothing about. In the animal kingdom, I thought it was especially apropos for us, in the animal kingdom males exhibit what is known as display behavior in order to attract females into war of rival males.

They thrust out their chests, ruffle their plumage, and generally try to appear more impressive than they really are. They grunt. And they grunt. On nature shows, this is comic. It appears comic too when it shows up among humans. The guy in the Camaro with all the gold chains, or Vanilla Ice's haircut. It has been discovered that display behavior is much more common among humans, the guy in the Camaro with all the gold chains or Vanilla Ice's haircut, it has been discovered that display behavior is much more common among humans than had

been previously believed. For example, have you ever wondered why? Men who have never been west of Kentucky can tell you about the mentality of the Japanese. Men who can't pay their own credit card bills have a plan for dealing with the national debt. Men who aren't on speaking terms with their own families know how to achieve peace in the Middle East. I mean, this is all true. So far, it's all true. Well, I do happen to have the answers to all of those questions. And the last one was, men who haven't had a date in six months know what women really want. Well they know it isn't them. All right, the compulsion to answer

varies from person to person, but few men are happy saying, I don't know. Some men seem to regard life as a talk show in which they are the star guest. If you ask what's the capital of Peru, they hear, so tell us a bit about your early years, Bob. Hahahaha! Sometimes this expansive, this is appealing. If you ask a woman, why did Madonna go on the David Letterman show, she will simply shrug helplessly, acknowledging that some things are simply unknowable. A man, on the other hand, will come up with a few theories.

She has the same age and and overdose of Prozac. Men have the courage and inventiveness to try to explain the inexplicable. Wow. Well, I mean, this reminds me of the electric trailer break question that we had some time ago. But if you're faced with women in our circle that don't have an answer to something,

if no one else has an answer, you have to volunteer one, right? You always do. Yeah, I mean, how interesting would it be? If your son or your daughter asks a question and your wife says nothing, or she says, I don't know. Yeah, what am I supposed to do? Say I don't know either? Let the kids think they got a couple of morons for parents? I can give them an answer and then let them think they got a couple of morons.

And then they'll know they got at least one more on. It is a curious syndrome. Male answer syndrome. And everyone knows it's true. Here's why I think it's true. Explain it to us. Well, my theory is this. And while you're at it, explain to me how there can be peace in the Middle East.

Alright, it's time for the new puzzler. This must be from Barry, Dave Barry. No? Who knows? This is nice and simple because you had a... Puzzler. Oh, puzzler. You had a...oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my God. Who the heck is that? Unannounced.

Entering at this instant the studio is our erstwhile technical advisor, but off missing in action, John Bugsy Lawler, who's now making the rounds, taking orders for coffee, shaking hands with all these people that he should know, but he's forgotten. He knows. He's forgotten and they've forgotten him. Unbelievable.

I mean, it's not, it's good though, because no matter where he goes, his first words are always hi, my name's John Lala. All right, when in doubt, introduce yourself. Okay. Here's the, here's the puzzler. I'll make it very short and sweet because your letter was rather lengthy.

It was, but it was brilliant. I'll make it very short and sweet because your letter was rather lengthy. It was, but it was brilliant. It was brilliant. It was brilliant. There's an expression that we've all used in our lives, and I just basically want to know from whence it came. And the expression is, I'm stumped. That's appropriate too. And we've used it on this show more than anyone has. We certainly have.

So if you think you know the answer, I'm stumped. What is the derivation of that expression, I'm stumped. If you think you know the answer, send it to us at Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3500, Harvard Square, Cambridge. Our first city. MA 02238. Yeah. Or you can email us your answer from CarTalk.com by clicking on the Talk to Car Talk section.

And if we choose your answer at random as the winner next week and your catches will send you a Chad's house of crescents Car talk t-shirt and we'll throw in a click and clack in 96 bumper sticker to boot We're gonna get rid of them in a few weeks They're gonna be useless right if you'd like to call us with a question about your car the numbers 1-800-332-9287 Hello, you're on car talk. Hey guys. How you doing? Who's this this is Jason from Worcester, Ohio Jason? Yes, sir. That's W O O S. That's right Yeah, see we spell it differently here. Well, you know, we understand that and we forgive you guys out there By the way, we spell it for those of you who would like to know it W O R C E S T E R. Now we don't pronounce it Worcester.

Yes we do. Worcester. W O O S T A H is how we pronounce it. It's Worcester. Yeah I'm going to Worcester to look for a truck. I bought my truck in Worcester. I know that. Anyway, Jason, what's up in your Worcester? All right, my problem is threefold. First of all, I have an 87 Dodge Colt. That's a problem. Now, the first thing that went wrong with this, it leaked oil really bad.

So about a year ago, my dad and I changed, actually we put a new seal on the oil pan, which is only made for I think baby midget's hands to get up in there. The oil pan gasket. Yes, so we changed that and it was great, it worked, it never leaked oil again, but now the oil light is on all the time. Oh. This is a ye later? Huh?

A ye later. Yes. And you somehow attribute a year later To actually happen right away, but I didn't pay attention to it And he's been trying to call us for a year Wait, let me get it straight You replace the oil pan gasket and immediately upon doing that, the oil light came on? I wouldn't say like that day, but you know, maybe a week afterwards it came on. A week afterwards.

But it's on all the time, even though there's plenty of oil in it. My first reaction is probably unrelated. Okay. So B, is the oil light came on. Right. That's okay Is this a bad thing is it a bad thing for the oil light to be on how many miles have you driven it? with the light on

Do you really want to know? about 30,000 miles Okay, no, it's not a bad. No, it's fine Okay, okay Roman the rule three. What's the third problem? Okay, actually the second problem second that was the first problem Second problem is no so you had the first problem is is having an 87 Okay, when you start the car in the morning

And you get ready to go you push the, the main belt squeaks really bad, squeals. No matter how much you put a little belt dressing on it, that might make it just a little quieter, but it still makes this really obnoxious noise. What do you think? For how long? Probably for maybe 15, 20 seconds. Then it's done, and that's all you hear for the whole day. Have you ever tried replacing the belt? No. Don't bother.

No. Live with the noise. Anything else? Is that it? No, okay now here's the big one. We want to hear the whole thing because there might be a relationship among all of these. Here's the last one. When you get in the car in the morning, you start it up, it starts fine, you go go to give a little gas to go and install. Yeah, it might do this Four or five times sure until you finally have to start at all anymore Yeah, and so you have to finagle the gas and the clutch to just go and just give it gas while you're letting the clutch out Hmm a lot and then it's fine. Now I did get some gum out or something like that and put in the carburetor a while ago

just to kind of clean it out. Good, good. But then it started to do it, it seemed to do it after I did that. Good, good, good. I'm going to guess that you have 160,000 sixty thousand miles on this car. Is that true? About a hundred and thirty. A hundred and thirty. A hundred and thirty.

The last thirty thousand of which the oil light's been on. Okay, let's address the ones we know the answers to first. Okay. Yeah, we know all the answers. I mean, the overall answer is you've got no problems here to speak of. I mean, you are in pretty good shape, right? Absolutely. The thing runs pretty much

it makes a little noise for fifteen seconds big deal is a lawyer like comes on you could cover it up with black paper you would even see it and that's about it and if you were so impatient in the morning little warm up for three minutes then it would be wouldn't even stall so you know you practically don't have any problems

the young like that need you practically don't have any problems but you know my car you know there are many many people in the world who would give their left arm they have a car that did all these things you know what i mean people i can't uh... you know who's name is at the top of that was thomas al malhotra uh... but you certainly have a defective oil pressure switch or the wire is broken and shorted someplace. That explains why the light's on.

Okay, but that's not a bad thing? Well, we hope that that's true. Well, you should fix it only because if you were to run out of oil, you would never know it. You would just say, oh, that light's always on. Why check it about once every other week? Just automatically? Well, I understand, but let's say you're driving on the highway and you hit something in the road,

which puts a gash in your oil pan. Oh, okay. A small gash. A gashet. And your oil leaks out. So you may check it every week, but it leaks out in the course of two hours of driving. Okay. Which you certainly do from time to time, I'm sure. Yes. And you ruin the engine. Okay. Which you certainly do from time to time, I'm sure. Yes. And you ruin the engine.

Okay, now is this a hard thing to replace? No, it takes five minutes. It's right near the oil filter. You unscrew it and you screw a new one in and that's done. Yeah, it's cheap and it's easy to do. There's nothing better than this. Just go and buy one and then open the box, hold it in your right hand and look around into the engine

to see something that looks just like it but dirtier. Okay. And if you really want some excitement, do it with the engine running. I would recommend you replace the belt because if the noise is still there after putting a new belt on, there may be something wrong with the pulley. Maybe the pulley is coming apart. And the reason it stalls in the morning is you have a weak accelerator pump in your carburetor,

which you're not going to fix because that will require taking the carburetor apart. And you're agonized over doing the oil pan. Imagine how much'll require taking the carburetor part and you agonized over doing the oil pan imagine How much you complain doing the carburetor? You might just have a misadjusted choke. I don't know if you've messed around with that. Yeah, don't touch the choke Yeah, so I mean if you if you actually let it warm up for a minute in the morning it won't even stall Okay. Hey, you guys are great. We listen to you every week, by the way. Thanks. We appreciate it. Thanks a lot.

Thanks a lot, guys. Bye-bye. I was driving my son in my car the other day. In your car? In my car. And he says, how can you stand it? And I said, stand what? He said, that noise. I said, which noise? He had focused on one particular noise. Oh, what a fool. Yeah, and it was making him crazy. You can't, if you focus on any one noise, it's better

if you just let them all meld together. It is a symphony. Like the cement mixer symphony. Well, you've wasted another perfectly good hour listening to Car Talk. Our esteemed producer is Doug the Subway Fugitive, not a slave to fashion, Punkin Lips Berman. By the way, we learned recently that the Washington Post has picked up our newspaper call, which means his days as a Subway Fugitive are indeed numbered. Yeah. They'll get him.

Well, they come in here with the cuffs and drag them out of here. Are we gonna help? Are we gonna help? Are we gonna stand in their way? Hell no! Our associate producer and Dean of the College of Automusicology is Ken Babyface Rogers. Our assistant producer is Cathode Patuti-Ray. Our engineer, we don't even use her first name anymore, just Cathode. Our engineer is Karen tootie ray our engineer is Karen given our technical advisor who happens to be here this week Or at least he was is mr. John Lawler well public opinion when he's here. He's asleep Right, so what does it matter whether he's asleep here or asleep at home? We can wake him up if he's Our public opinion pollster was Paul murky of Murky Research, assisted by statistician

Margin O'Vara. Our automotive medical researcher is Dr. Denton Fender. Our marriage counselor is Marion Haste. Our director of new product repair is Warranty My Foot. Our director of email responses is Peggy Flaming. Our director of staff pay increases is Xavier Breath, assisted by Tony Van Thinking. Our director of gender studies is Amanda B. Reckonwith. Our Director of Country Music is Stan Beierman.

The President of the Car Talk Hair Club for Men is Emerson Fittibaldi, who by the way is also a client. Our Director of Cold Weather Starting is Martina Never Turnover. The Chairman of our Underemployment Study Group is Arc Majors. The Chairman of our Joint Chiefs of Staff is John Shelley Papaweely. And our Chief Counsel from the Law Firm of Dewey, Cheatham & Howe is Hugh Louis Dewey, known to the Leaf Peepers in Harvard Square as Huey, Louie, Dewey. Thanks so much for listening.

We're Click and Clack the Tap for Brothers. Don't drive like my brother. Don't drive like my brother. We'll be back next week. We hope. Bye-bye. If you find yourself in urgent need of a cassette copy of this week's show, which is number 40, you can order it electronically on the World Wide Web through the Shameless Commerce Division of CarTalk.com or you can call them at 303-823-8000. You can also order the best

of CarTalk and other useless CarTalk junk the same way, click on the shameless commerce division at cartalk.com or call 303-823-8000. Car Talk is a production of Dewey, Cheetah, and Howe in WBUR in Boston. And even though sophisticated listeners scrunch up their noses when they hear us say it, this is NPR National Public Radio.