The Best of Car Talk - #2463: Pardon the Interruption

Episode Date: August 6, 2024

Sharon loves to settle into a comfy seat and read a book before and after a hard days work. That the seat in question is the driver's seat of her car as she travels to and from work -should that bother the rest of us? Click and Clack supply the outrage on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Do you want to maximize your summer? LifeKits got you covered with tips on staying safe in the heat, planning your big vacation, becoming a grill master, and exploring your neighborhood on a budget. Make the most of every day this summer. Listen to the LifeKit podcast from NPR. Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us clicking clack the Tapper Brothers and we're broadcasting this week from the center for Continued daylight savings here at car talk Plaza now deed Indeed as you probably know we have now been saving daylight ever since like early April

Where we've been putting all this extra daylight I don't know maybe in those huge tanks next to the emergency oil reserves that we have there are daylight Tanks all over the country don't't you see them? Well, and even though reserves of daylight are very low, in a matter of days, based on instructions from some unnamed genius, we will all set our clocks back one hour and we'll immediately plunge ourselves into a deep national depression as we watch it get pitch black outside before we even leave work for the day. Now, in my brother's case, it's pitch black before he leaves full work, but that's... And it's still gonna be light when I leave work for the day.

I think... Because I'm afraid to drive in the dark, and that's why I leave so early in the winter. How's that? Right. I never thought of that before. Well, I think it's time to call for a boycott. Then I'm with you. Just don't do it.

Just refuse. just say no. We have what? Like two and a half million listeners every week? Six. Six and a half million? No, six listeners. Oh, six listeners. Six listeners.

Oh, then it might not work. But anyway, each of them is responsible for say what? Maybe five clocks, a watch, a bedside clock, kitchen clock, clock in the car, VCR, maybe a clock at work. If everyone listening today just refused to set back his clock, okay, and maybe sets one other unsuspecting person's clock ahead, we could create mass confusion and we could beat this thing. I mean, this is the sort of thing, I don't want to brag or anything, but this is the

sort of thing that the other presidential candidates just aren't addressing. This is going to get us this is what is one issue just to put a point out that we think of stuff like this the other jerks they're thinking about the Federal Reserve Bank Saddam Hussein who cares about that that stuff doesn't matter turning the clock the wrong way, that matters. That affects our lives every day. And a vote for us is a vote for chaos. Daylight! Alright already. Alright. Gee, I got carried away with all the debate stuff.

I know you don't have any letters to read. I don't, no. Because I don't see anything in front of you. No, I don't. I don't want to read any letters anyway. We've made our point here. 1-800-332-9287 is the number if you have some good comment to make. Hello, you're on Car Talk. This is Sharon Fritchett. I live in Gibbsboro, New Jersey. Sharon, in Gibbsboro?

Like G-I-P-P-S? B-B. Gibbsboro. Oh, Gibbsboro, New Jersey. Which end of New Jersey would that be? Southern. That's right. South Jersey. It sounded like a southern name to me. it's borrow new jersey yeah which end of new jersey would that be southern about jersey it's not like a southern name to me it's only two belongs in maybe north carolina

gibsboro and gibsboro so that like right on the uh... tennessee border uh... and it is important but i think that i think that's the one that's up here well i called in reference. I just want you to know Sharon. Let me just interrupt you for one moment.

Yes? You sound right now like a perfectly reasonable rational person but I know that you're a wacko and I know that this is going to turn into a wacky phone call. I just want to predict that ahead I Called because you have denigrated road readers everywhere with comments recently I told you she was a wacko Road readers not there even have a name Road readers it was not I actually it was my brother who so denigrated the road readers.

Oh, and I will... By publicly castigating... And I will stand behind every word of that statement that I made. These are people who drive down the road reading something propped up on the steering wheel. No, it's not propped up on the steering wheel. It's on your lap. It's on the seat next to you. I have a barrel I keep underneath my right elbow, and I keep my book right there on the barrel with my arm on top of it so I can point

to where I'm reading. So you have a little canister sitting there. That's right. And your book is under your arm. Uh-huh. And my arms up on it. Pray tell how do you read and drive at the same time? Well you have to keep the book up so that you can see everything in your peripheral vision. Peripheral my foot! What peripheral? Anything you're seeing! Then you keep your right thumb on it. Wait a minute, is the book getting your peripheral vision or is the road?

The road is. The road gets my peripheral vision. It has to. I mean the road has to. So in case like a B-52 flew in front of you, you'd probably pick that up. I would notice. You'd notice that. I would notice. And you might then not turn the page and devote your energy and your attention to the road. You might. Unless it was some important passage in the book in which case you wouldn't be able to do that. I would take a chance. Well you don't think

this is bad i sure and now i you know i learned it from a fellow i was thinking that the reason you were posted because you are mad and men can only do one thing at a time i thought that was that but when i came up for the product that you know i learned that i learned from bob worthington he could be on uh... one of those guys pick a chimney we've got me camped in and he used to read to me while we were driving down the road he'd scary right

in the i can't like another period that that that that that that he was going like eighty miles an hour although it would be reading it he'd also be staring at you in eighty that's right but right and i need to i i would ignore what he said and i think what bob do you think you should look at the road yet dot you think you should look at the road

and and actually he told me it was a skill that he'd developed and uh... and as i wrote with him over the month i realized he was really good at that he could drive with his left knee and we've in and out of traffic while he was reading to me and talking very intensely and looking me straight in the eye. Yeah. Geez, I gotta move to Montana. So I started to do it when I was living in Manhattan. Good place to try it. Yeah, because the

traffic's always backed up. Sure. Yeah, I used to drive up the West Side Highway in my 1972 Toyota Land Cruiser. And I was always just sitting in traffic. So I was pregnant and I knit a sweater for my son while I was driving. Good! Pregnant too! Pregnant and knitting! I was knitting. So knit, read, and be pregnant all at the same time and fry eggs.

I had to read the knitting directions. Of course. Knit, one, purl, blue, green. And so I did that and then I realized if I could do that I could do anything while I was driving. This has to present, this has to present I would think, one of the greatest ethical issues of all time. Because should God take care of people like you or not? Actually the man that taught me how to drive was a member of the church I had just joined and what he explained to me is God makes you, if you live to be a good person, God makes you capable of doing more things.

Yeah, I mean I myself… That's what he told me and I was 17 so I believe him. If you live to be a good person, God makes you capable of doing more things. Yeah. I mean, I myself... And that's what he told me. And I was 17, so I believe him. I myself for many years have told people that I have the strength of ten because my heart is pure. There you go. And his skull is empty.

And I suppose this is the same theory, and the question question is should God watch over people like you or Should Darwinism take over and should all such people immediately have the accidents get rid of them from the gene pool So that we don't perpetuate this kind of nonsense But I've never had an accident when I was well, that's the curious thing, isn't it? Because I think that people like you I mean my sister I Always say now who the hell is watching over her? Because I mean she drives a car. I mean she aims the car it toward like the city she's headed to and Hopefully the street goes that way and if it doesn't she goes through people's backyards over railroads doesn't matter someone is clearly watching over her I'm a good

driver you're not a good driver Sharon you might be lucky yeah the laws of probability driver that's what it says on my driver's life on the driver's test. It's a Sharon. The woman who drove with me is an excellent driver. Do we have her last name? Well, I won't say that next week when you go in. Yeah, no, it does have to do with the laws of probability because ideally, people who do these things should have accidents immediately. But people do a lot of things while they're driving. Well, for, no, I mean, to give you an analogous example, I mean, you just, like my brother

says, the laws of probability have not caught up to you. There are people that rob banks all the time that don't get caught. But there are women who put their makeup on in their car every morning and they never get in an accident. Well, they should! Well, see, the trouble is they don't get in accidents often enough. And so the belief becomes that you can do that like you don't have to stop at stop signs Think about it, especially those four-way stop. I mean the four way last right through them

There are three bozos of stuff. Of course. I mean if you if you just took up the philosophy I'm never going to stop at a stop sign. You could probably get away with that for months if not years until The right combination of circumstances killed you. And begin to rationalize that you were a better driver than others because you've been able to go through stop signs. And you might conclude that going through stop signs is, in fact, very safe. And preferable.

Yeah, because look, I've been doing this for two months now. I've never had an accident going through a stop sign. So the laws of probability lead people sometimes to conclusions which are quite erroneous. Like that it's okay to do what you're doing. You're a fruitcake, Sharon. You're a nut. You're crazy. And I can't believe I got my brother to rant and rave about this. Thank you, Sharon. You're welcome. Oh boy, oh boy. Was I right? I said that she was going to turn out to be a nut, and she is.

No, I'm not a nut. She's knitting baby sweaters while she's driving down the New Jersey turnpike. But you know, a lot of people kiss while they're driving. No, you shouldn't. Well, that's okay. Oh, it is, because somebody kisses you, right? Well, no. I mean, kissing is always okay.

I think men approve of that, right? It's okay to kiss while you're driving. Of course it is. Yeah, that can never get you into trouble. That's cool. But reading? Knitting? Well, Sharon, I hope you mend your ways.

I hope you do. Think about it. The laws of probability will get to you. I'll read about it while I'm driving. See you later. Bye-bye. I'll read about it while I'm trying. See you later. Bye bye. She'll read about it. It's hopeless.

Guess what? The puzzler answer and more calls are coming up right after this. New from the Embedded Podcast. I hereby declare the House representatives of the 113th General Assembly of the state of Tennessee now in session. — What happens when three moms set out to change the way state politics work? — We are smart and we are swift. We are not going anywhere. — Listen to Supermajority from NPR's Embedded and WPLN. All episodes out now. Hey, I'm Robert Smith from Planet Money. And this summer we are bringing you the entire history of the world, at least the economics part. It's Planet Money Summer

School. Every week we'll invite in a brilliant professor and play classic episodes about the birth of money, banks and finance. There will be rogues and revolutionaries and a lot of panics. Summer School every Wednesday till Labor Day on the Planet Money podcast from NPR. OK, so tell me if this sounds like you. You love NPR's podcasts. You wish they weren't interrupted by sponsor breaks like this one. And you want to support NPR's mission of creating a more informed public. If this does sound like you, then it's time to sign up for perks

across more than 20 podcasts with the NPR Plus bundle. Learn more at plus.npr.org. This message comes from the Kresge Foundation. Established 100 years ago, the Kresge Foundation works to expand equity and opportunity in cities across America. A century of impact, a future of opportunity. More at Kresge.org. All right, Tommy. Tell me last week's puzzler and I'll refer to you for the rest of the show as my wiser, respected older brother. Uh...

Doop, doop, doop, doop. It was very brief. It was like a one-liner. Ah, too late. It wasn't. It wasn't Well, it's obvious that my brother the moron can't remember last week's puzzle so I'll just restated for the record go man Now we all know that when you start a car you turn the key in the ignition Look at his face still not a clue And that that turning of the key directs electricity from the battery to the starter motor and then back to the battery.

This was the worst puzzler! Sorry, did I interrupt you? Okay, so current flows in one direction, electrons flow in the other. In fact, electrons make their migration from the negative terminal of the battery to the starter motor and then back to the positive terminal of the battery. And let's say you have 10 feet of battery cable like 5 feet to the starter and what 5 feet back Got it. The question is how long then does it take a single electron? Like Ernie the electron Starting out at the negative terminal to make that entire loop now

You'll notice I didn't mention how much wire was inside the starter motor. No, okay And like it almost doesn't matter. That's right almost doesn't matter. Compared to the 10 feet. So let's assume we say 10 feet over 5,280 feet. Let me see, that's 1 5 hundredth of a mile, right? Yeah. And electricity travels 186,000 miles per second using the formula distance equals rate time. You could figure it out, right?

You could do that, yeah. A simple calculation that any moron could do. Yeah, and many did did did you do it even use my slide like a slide rule accuracy with and you'd come up with some answer which is yeah what i got a number of action and i didn't know where to put the decimal point but i know what the number of a second but the answer amazingly is it would take about four hours for that electron to... Oh, come on!

Because electricity is indeed the flow of electrons, but most electrons are bumping into other ones and pushing the stuff, you know, it's like having billiard balls in there and they're pushing stuff along. And what's happening is the energy is flowing through the wire, but the electron, an individual electron, takes a long time because it's bumping into what? Other electrons. And atoms in the wires. It's bumping into what? Other electrons. And atoms in the wires. It's bumping into things that's causing it. Oh wait, we didn't discuss atoms yet. We were just protons, neutrons. So that's the answer. So if you jumped into doing the calculation, you were wrong. And how, pray tell, does one get four hours?

Well, I mean... Did someone actually follow Ernie the Electron? Put a little marker on his nose? Yes, we did. And when he emerged at the positive... We had a big celebration. We had a welcome Ernie sign at the positive. Ernie, you are the one millionth!

This is the most bogus puzzler. Four hours is not the absolute answer obviously, but it is many many many hours According to the guy that's according to this brilliant electrical engineer whose name he wrote it with disappearing ink I went to refer to it this week, and I can't find the letter. I think his name was pawns no fleshman Anyway, who's our winner? I have a better one for this week, don't worry. I hope so. All right, wait a minute, we got a winner. Yeah, we got a winner.

Barbara Hall from Minneapolis Minnimanimisoda. For having her correct answer selected at random as our winner this week, Barbara is gonna get, now listen to this. This is big. This is big. Barbara is going to get, now listen to this. This is big. This is big. Barbara is going to get her very own copy of the brand new second best of Car Talk CD. Now we don't want people to get the wrong idea. No. These aren't the ones we rejected from the for the first tape. No. These are our new batch. A whole

new batch. In fact these are almost pretty good. These are almost pretty good. In fact I have right in my pocket here the CD Jacket as they call it here. It is and there's a picture of us and a bunch of really old cars and it says car talk greatest hits the second best of car talk more used calls from click and clack and She's Barbara Hall from Minneapolis, Minnesota is the very first puzzler winner to win this new CD. Great! Anyway, stay tuned because we have another new puzzler coming up during the second half

of Car Talk today. I promise it's just a slight... just a slight... You don't have to promise because it couldn't be worse. In the meantime, you can call us at 1-800-332-9287. Hello you're on Car Talk. Hi guys. This is Caris calling from Redmond. Who?

Caris. Caris, like we would know how to spell that? C-A-R-I-S? It's out of charisma. C-H-A-R-I-S. Yes, yes, Greek for grace. Caris from Redmond. Redmond, Washington.

I've heard of that place. small town. How's Bill? Well, okay, yeah, so what's up? I have a big a large white Chevy Caprice 1984 yeah, it has a little bit of a problem when we come to a stoplight Yeah, big large billows of like bluish smoke will come out the back end and surround the car. And I'm telling you, I mean it's really embarrassing. It's mainly because I'm embarrassed. I mean it isn't really, you know, it's just people kind of, people glare at you.

Oh, tell me about it. My husband, you know, he wants to just, he won't fix it unless he can fix it with duct tape, you know, he won't, we're kind of cheap. So these puffs of smoke come from where, the tailpipe? I think so, yeah. They're not puffs, they're billows, she referred to them as. The car is enveloped in... Billows of blue smoke.

Do people look at you funny when this happens? Do they? It's a source of embarrassment. They glare at me because it stinks and it just, I mean I'm sure that you know they're environmentalists who just you know. Oh look down their noses at you. Exactly. I mean that's part of the reason I stopped driving my 56 Chevy. Yeah. Because I mean the smoke would envelop the car. I couldn't even see the cars next to me after all. You're the only stealth Chevy in the nation.

The only hope you have... You're burning oil. Yeah, you are burning oil, but you're not going to rectify that with duct tape. I think the only hope you have is to change your wardrobe. You have to make these people that are currently looking down their noses at you feel sorry for you. You have to dress like my brother dresses. When he used to drive his car, people would come over to him

and ask him if he had a place to stay that night. People would throw loose change into the windows. So if you look like a pathetic creature, then people will say, gee, shit, so I guess things are tough. Are you willing to spend like $1,500 on this car? Oh, god, no. Are you kidding? All right, how about $550?

It's probably not worth $1,500, to be honest with you. Well, it will be once you put that rebuilt engine in it. I mean, that's what you need, and there's nothing... Nothing short of that is gonna stop the clouds. No one, anyone can convince you that it's valve guide seals or anything else. I guarantee you, this baby needs a ring job. Okay, yeah. Wait, it might be time for...

Motor-Medic! You could try that, you know. You guys want to come out here? No, no, no. Motor Medic is in a can. Right, Motor Medic is a topical application. 15.95. Oh, not even.

Boy, I don't know. You pour one can of this stuff. Actually, some of it comes in a bottle. Where do I put it? Well, J. jc Whitney does Stella sell a stuff yeah the pills the pellets remember the pellets I tried them too get this for 1195 you get plus $15 shipping and handling yeah you get eight magic pellets okay and here's what you do. Okay. You take out the spark plugs. All right. And you drop one pellet into each cylinder. Okay. Put the spark plugs back in and start it up.

The pellets immediately vaporize and turn into a magic potion. Piston rings. They turn into piston rings basically, right. See that sounds cute. And it stops all oil burning, increases compression. And will even re-upholster the front seat. If that's what you need. That would be wonderful. It sounds too easy though. And the truth is you might as well try all of these remedies, none of which you've ever seen work.

It would be less than $1,500. Well, this will keep your husband busy for months. He would just probably love that. And also when people give you the dirty looks at the stop sign, you can just yell back to them, We're working on it! And you'll feel better for that as well because you'll know that you're not just going around driving this car in a cavalier way. Oh, it's a Caprice, isn't it?

Yeah. That's a little Chevy joke there. But you are in fact working on the solution to the problem. Yeah, I mean it's just, you know, I've had my passengers before roll down the window and apologize to people. You can yell out various things like, We ordered the pellets today! The pellets are in the mouth! Leave us alone! We tried Motomedic!

We need the bumper sticker that says, Don't Sneer, This Could Be Your Car. Exactly. Someday, if you get poor like me, this could be your car. That's right. One never knows. Well, good luck! Thank you so much, guys. Good luck, Horace. See ya. Bye-bye. Bye bye. Right after these messages, you'll hear more calls and a new puzzler coming right up. Want to maximize your summer without stretching your budget?

LifeKids got you covered with guides on exploring your neighborhood for cheap. Don't let money or time be the thing that decides whether or not you will have fun. You can have fun almost in spite of those things. Make the most of every day this summer, whether you're jet setting or staying close to home. Listen to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. This summer on Planet Money, we're bringing you the entire history of the world, at least the economics part. It's Planet Money Summer School. Every week we'll invite in a brilliant professor and play classic episodes about the birth of money, banks, and finance.

There will be rogues and revolutionaries and a lot of panics. Summer School, every Wednesday till Labor Day on the Planet Money podcast from NPR. If you think the economy makes no sense right now. You are probably right because even economists can't explain it lately. But our podcast, The Indicator from Planet Money? We're a little dose of clarity on the biggest economic questions of the day. And about the forces that affect your life. In 10 minutes or less, every weekday, The Indicator from Planet Money from NPR.

New from the Embedded Podcast. Female athletes have always needed grit and talent, but for decades they've also needed a certificate. There was chit chat about, is that really a woman? And even now they're still being checked and questioned. Their story is the newest series from CBC and NPR's Embedded. It's called Tested. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk on National Public Radio with us clicking clack the tappet brothers and we're here to discuss, you ready for this? Cars, car repair

and dialectical materialism. Maybe. You may not know that that's where this letter is going, but here it is from Aaron Katz in Portland, Oregon. I have owned the best of Car Talk CDs since last Christmas. In the last six months, I've listened to this tape, oh, tape, at least 50 times, if not more. Every time I listen to it, I cannot help but ponder the meaning of a piece of dialogue during the dog barf call.

Remember that call? Yes, I do. One of you says, quote, obviously, the stuff went down the vent or it stayed on the dashboard. To which the response comes, It went down the vent. One of you continues, Right, but not all of it. I mean, some of it stayed. So suffice it to say, What didn't stay on the dashboard went down the vent. Each time I hear this exchange, I am struck by the utter meaninglessness of this exchange

of words. I now know what is happening. On the surface, you two appear to be morons. On the surface? Where was I? On the surface, you two appear to be morons, but inside, you are deeply philosophical. The above dialogue actually expresses existential philosophy, the meaninglessness of existence. Obviously, this was what inspired Camus.

Perhaps one of you is even the reincarnation of Kierkegaard or Heidegger. Under the ruse of an idiotic talk show about cars, you are in fact attempting to enlighten me. While the above conversation is a blatant attempt to spread your insidious philosophical opinions, I have determined that the whole show is the same completely meaningless what satra achieved in his plays you have taken to the next level sincerely parenthesis as if sincereness existed right Aaron Katz whoa on the surface you too well he listened to that tape 50 times huh on surface, you two appear to be morons.

I got news. It isn't superficial. I thought... Well, you know, I mean, if he listened to that 50 times, he must have worn it out. He must be ready to buy a new one. And just in the nick of time, I say, because there is a new one out. Yes, indeed. Well, okay, talk about new ones. It's time is a new one out. Yes indeed. Well, okay talk about new ones

It's time for a new puzzler. Oh, yeah. I was encouraged to use this by my brother my older Then there it is it's obviously gonna be well when I when I first put it to the group Roger says oh that's bogus vermin says Catherine as nice as she is, reserved judgment, didn't say a word. My brother said, might fly and here it is. Yeah. Two girls are born of the same parents, obviously

not at the same time, otherwise they'd be twins in Boston, Massachusetts. Yeah. Right. You got this? Yeah. One of them, however, is a citizen of the United States and the other is not.

How could this be? I got it. I'll state it again. Why don't you state it again? I'll repeat it again. Why don't you repeat it again? I'll restate it again. Why don't you state it again? I'll repeat it again. Why don't you repeat it again? I'll restate it again. Two girls are born of the same parents in Boston, Massachusetts, very close to what?

Our fair city. Our fair city, yes. One of them is a citizen of the United States, and the other one is not a citizen of the United States. And she has not given up her citizenship to the United States. We have to add that, right? Right right because I suppose you could be a citizen could renounce your son you could renounce your citizenship but you know you will do after we lose the election

the question very simply is how could this be how could this be how could this be if you think you know the answer send send it to us at Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3500, Harvard Square, Cambridge, Our Fair City, Math 02238. Or you can email us your answer from CarTalk.com by clicking on the Talk to Car Talk section. Now, if we choose your correct answer at random as the winner next week and you catch us, we'll send you a second Best of Car Talk cassette or CD. If you'd like to call us with a question about your car, our number is 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Sylvia and I'm calling from Chinle, Arizona.

Sylvia! Who is Sylvia? Anyway, what's up, Sylvia? Well what's up is that a couple of years ago I lived in a place called Mexican Hat, Utah. I was working up there for three months and it was near a uranium mine. And my cars had this weird problem since then. I know that people have real problems being around uranium and I'm wondering if cars can get thyroid cancer. Wow. Quite the contrary.

Because I think my car has thyroid cancer. No, I don't think it does. No? Well, what are the symptoms? Well, okay. Again, my brother is about to answer unencumbered by the thought process. Yeah, well, because I know the general theory here, and I have ample evidence to show that not only are cars not susceptible to any of the diseases that we currently, that humans

have, but quite to the contrary, uranium preserves cars. Okay. But go ahead, you tell us what the symptoms are okay well what the symptoms are is that um... when i was out there two years ago it started acting like when i would step on the gas pedal it would run really roughly for a few seconds and then it would respond okay and that i could handle i could deal with that and then i went back home which is massachusetts

and then i drove down to key west well and i would have been problem supposedly with water in the gap and you are sabbatical uh... no i would have a lot of cool and i was doing uh... internships all around the country all how convenient key where Internships all around the country. Oh how convenient key West Break I mean we're gullible but

Do it Do it you weren't there in the winter or anything Yeah, I left in the end of January Anyway, I was having driving down there is having a problem going uphill where it was running really roughly and then it was going about 30 miles an hour. This is a Volkswagen you have? This is a 82 Volkswagen Rabbit convertible. Oh, oh. And now what's happening with it, now that I'm out here in Arizona, is that now it's just

gotten worse and worse and worse and I tried to drive five miles up to the canyon here and I didn't even get there. Oh, so now it's running lousy all the time. It still won't climb hills. Right. But now it's worsened because it won't even go on flat ground anymore. Right. So if anything-

Yeah, it starts kind of skipping and the, the, what do you call it, the... I don't know what you call it. The RPM thing. Oh, the tachometer. Bounces around. You know, it goes down and up and down and up and down and up. Gotcha. I've taken it to now six mechanics and they've all taken wild guesses at what this could be. Wild guesses. And in the meantime, I've replaced the oxygen sensor, the fuel pump, the fuel filters, the fuel distributor, warm-up regulator, and fuel injectors. And now I'm sort of starting on the electronic system. I've changed the wires a couple times and I just changed the coil last week and nothing.

Okay, so does it ever run well now? Now no. Now no. Has anyone put an oscilloscope on this thing to look at what the ignition system is doing? Because I suspect you could have a, well, the reason I suspect this is that you have one by one eliminated all the other things that I was about to suggest a fuel pump the fuel Filter the coil you've dashed my hopes with every one of these and the only thing you didn't mention Mm-hmm was the hall effect sensor the what?

Great something else to spend money on No, well you're about to hear about it. Now I believe that this electronic ignition system in this car is operated. The thing that makes the spark in conjunction with the coil is there's a hall effect sensor and that in turn sends a signal to an igniter which interrupts the flow of current to the primary circuit of the coil and that's what makes the spark. It's possible that this is faulty, just a possibility. How many miles on this dog? A million.

Oh, a million, yeah. A million. It actually, the odometer stopped working in Key West, I think. Key West, that would have been 1996. There is one other possibility that does come to mind. Yeah, there is certainly one. And maybe somebody hasn't explored this. A back to basics possibility.

And that is that you have a restricted exhaust system, i.e. a plugged up catalytic converter, which would have explained everything, in fact. Why initially the problem was only on hills, and now that it's more plugged up, the problem is all the time. Okay. Because if the exhaust cannot get out, you cannot- The exhaust did start getting loud lately. Well that's good.

Okay. Except that... No, but that would make it better. You need someone to do a very simple test, and that is to drive the car with the converter disconnected. Okay. And see if the problems are all gone. Okay. If in fact they're gone, then you need a new converter.

Right. But a plugged up converter would certainly do all of these things. Or inadequate spark. Because of the Hall effect. Right. Hall effects. Okay. Yeah, I wouldn't go crazy with this Hall effect sensor thing now. It's a lot of money. So, so you want someone to really do the diagnostic work. So don't just go and replace this. Okay. No more wild guesses. I only mentioned it because everyone else has done everything else to it. Right. And that may be the trick with finding somebody that has ever heard of a Hall effect sensor out here. I only mentioned it because everyone else has done everything else to it. Right. And that may be the trick with finding somebody that has ever heard of a Hall Effect sensor

out here. Well, it may be now that the bombardment from the U-238 has somehow disrupted or disturbed the delicate balance of... You know how long it takes an electron to travel through a Hall Effect sensor? Oh, days! Days, and I suppose it's possible. At least four hours. Your original premise was that it was a thyroid problem and that would certainly speed up the flow of these electrons and that would definitely cause this. So I think you need to get de-ghost or something.

I don't know what to do. Get some new crystals and well you need to... you currently live nowhere in Arizona. There must be someplace close by that will sell to you for a nominal fee a government surplus Geiger counter. And a normal fee I mean like 20 grand but no home should be without one and I think you may need one I want I once owned a 56 Chevy which spent many of its days at the Los Alamos proving grounds uh-huh and as we know back then in the 50s we were exploding bombs all over the place, so this car was obviously subjected to some very severe radiation and this car was blessed.

I mean this thing would not die and I think it's because the radiation preserved. Oh, it set up a field around the car. Set up a holy field around the car so that nothing ever went wrong with it. It lasted forever until my brother sold it for 50 bucks. And that explains your hair. Explains my hair too. Because you were in that car, man. That was it. Now that I think about it, it was never like this. It wasn't until I drove that car. It turned into Kramer. Well, Sylvia, I hope we've helped you a little bit. Well you've helped me an awful lot because I have so many mechanics taking guesses that

I thought I'd call you and have you guys take some guesses. Why not? Yeah. Good luck Sylvia. Thanks. Bye bye. Bye. Well you've wasted an otherwise perfectly good hour listening to Card Talk.

Our esteemed producer is Doug the Subway Fugitive, not a slave to fashion, Punkin Lips Berman. Our Associate Producer and Dean of the College of Automusicology is Ken Babyface Rogers. Our Assistant Producer is Cathode Petutti-Ray. Our Engineer is Karen Given. And our Technical Advisor is John Bugsy Lawler. Our Public Opinion Poster is Paul Murky of Murky Research, assisted by Statistician Marginal Vera. Our Automotive Medical Researcher is Dr. Denton Fender.

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