The Best of Car Talk - #2490: Yet Another Saab Story

Episode Date: November 9, 2024

Nat was absolutely beaming as he proudly showed off his new Saab to his soon-to-be inlaws. Beaming that is right up to the moment that it started to roll downhill without a driver. Could Nat possibly have made a worse first impression? Find out on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Who's claiming power this election? What's happening in battleground states? And why do we still have the electoral college? All this month, the Throughline Podcast is asking big questions about our democracy and going back in time to answer them. Listen now to the Throughline Podcast from NPR. and PR. Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us clicking clack the tapper. Are we on? We're broadcasting this week. Are you ready from the Center for Cutting Edge Technology here at Car Talk Plaza? Oh, no. Now in case you're wondering and I'm sure people are wondering what the best minds in the business are working on these days, here it is, hot off the press.

Yeah. One of the developments that the auto industry is most proud of over the last few years is this, I would call it semi-proliferation of heated seats or bun burners as we call them. I hate them. Well, they have actually revolutionized the morning commute here in the great frozen north. Two cups of coffee and that seat on, you barely make it to work. Yeah. I was reading the other day some guy said, Shea Terra is getting stuck in a traffic jam right after you've had two cups of coffee and a brand muffin.

And then hit a heated seat. And a heated seat. Oh man. Well anyway, what about the great sweaty South? We have the great frozen North. What about the great sweaty South? We have the great frozen North. What about the great sweaty South? Well, you'll be glad to know that engineers at Saab, you ready for this?

They've been devoting themselves to solving the equally vexing problem, butt sweat. That's right. The new Saab 9-5 sedan, which is due next year, you ready for this? Will have ventilated seats. You're making this up. No, I'm not making this up. Read what you got here. Read the press release. Oh, here it is. Car has thin three-speed fans embedded in the cushion and seat back on the front seat. There you go. These fans draw the warm air that's trapped between your butt and the seat down through perforations in the leather, through secret channels in the seat padding, and then exhaust it out to the bottom of the seat. Now what does that do

to the poor people sitting in the back seat? They're sitting there among your butt sweat? Oh, this is a bad idea. Well, yeah, I mean if they could exhaust it to the outdoors. Yeah, that would be difficult to do. You could kill people on motorcycles. Well, at least they're thinking. You know, don't forget, all great inventions didn't start off being perfect. And so this is the beginning of a whole new era.

Right, and the refinements that follow this, I'm sure, will lead to something wonderful. I can see all the duct work now. Yeah, I mean, this might be more important than airbags. Well, the truth is, they ain't got nothing else to work on. Yeah, they might as well close the patent office. Everything's been done. Absolutely. Anyway, if you want to call us about your car or your idea for the next great advancement in technology you can reach us at

one eight hundred three three two nine two eight seven hello you're on car talk this is Curtis from Stratford Stratford yes on Avon no Stratford New York upstate New York in the southern Adirondacks what is Stratford near I can't locate you quite okay we're if we're north. If you were going to go to the nearest big city, what would it be? Utica. The nearest big city that someone else has heard of. Okay, Utica. I know where Utica is. Okay, you know where Utica is. Now. Were you born there? No, no, no, are you dying there? Yes, yes. Yes, that's about it. We moved up here We my wife and I moved up here from the from Manhattan about five years ago

Not get away from the crime and to look for a nice place to raise the kiddies. Oh, yeah, right Like there isn't any here. Uh-huh. No All right. Well, that's enough bad-mouthing any here uh... no all right was a bit more than a step doesn't matter but that's what's on your mind for this okay i've got a nineteen eighty eight gm

the vann when i started up in the morning or when it starts after it's been sitting for about four or five hours it gets a real strange noise to it it's fine in a couple of you king jing jing and i go to you i've taken it to a few places and basically everybody tells me the same thing well it could be here

it could be your water pump is going it could be your power steering is going it could be your power break for going and what they all suggest is well will replace one if that doesn't do it will replace another night that you have right so how often does it do this it only does it after it's been sitting for a long period of time so i don't you just let

sit in their place for well they were just they they have they have heard it well they have but the thing is that they they don't seem to be able to locate and pinpoint what the noise actually is well how many guys work at the shop but that that that committee to hire a few half a dozen of the so i mean they put three of them with the hood up uh... and take off the engine cover inside put three more in there okay and you turn the key but that's a great box and i want hour you ought to find it. At least they'll be able to see. Well I think the way to find it, I had a similarly vexing problem

recently in our shop. Uh-huh. Yeah. It was a Dodge Caravan that had the same kind of a noise and it was there almost all the time but it was most noticeable when the engine was was cold and first started. Right, that's the way this is. Once it makes the noise and the sound goes, it stops, that's the last I hear of it. And the noise was creaky. And it goes, ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo jing jing and then that's it even think it it not it's not that it bothers me it's just that i had not always wanted to take a bit in

they had a head that it's a major problem and if i don't get it but if they can't tell me what the problem is the pike welp how did it what's major right exactly what is it is the way i would have a lot of the unfinished yet but does this happen as soon as the car starter is there a two or three or four twenty second delay before it happened there is a delay before it

happened that what happened them how long is that the way uh... probably not more than five or ten second okay i just wanted to confirm that i had all the facts right now i can tell you right i have no idea you have no idea what you're thinking this book but he has all the facts right well i mean you can't know that you don't know unless you have all the information. And now I have it. I was ready to hear one of your patented, unencumbered by the

thought process answers. It might come yet. It might come. I must admit that I do have a feeling. Well, let me explain to you what we did to solve this problem with this caravan that we had in the shop. We strapped Manny to the hood. No, Manny won't do that anymore.

He fell off twice, broke his glasses. No, we determined that it was coming from one of the accessories that was driven by the belts. Uh-huh. So we took the, in fact this vehicle had only one belt, a serpentine belt that drives everything, water pump, power steering alternator. We took the belt off and we noticed that the noise wasn't there. So we knew it was one of the accessories and not wanting to replace them all, we very slowly

turned them all listening with a stethoscope. And lo and behold, it turned out to be the water pump. And you could hear it going, the bearing must have been a eh, eh. The bearing must have been a little dry, and once the thing warmed up or heated up a little bit, the noise went away. So it could be something like that. I would suggest to them, they take the belt off, or you can even take the belts off,

and run it yourself without the belts and see if the noise is in fact gone. If it is, then you've narrowed it down to one of those things, and you needn't really worry about it. Because if it is the water pump, eventually the noise will get really bad. If it is the water pump, eventually the noise will get really bad. If it is the water pump, you might want to change it.

If it's the power steering or the alternator, I'd leave it. Yeah, I mean, I'd have to say that it absolutely is one of the accessories. Yeah, if it was serious, it would have... If it was serious, it would have blown up by now. Something would have fallen off. That's what I thought. Yeah. I'd forget about it. Me too.

Unless you're curious and you got nothing else to do, which you probably will. I'm not that curious. That's why I called the experts. Yeah. And we helped a lot, didn't we? See you, Curtis. OK, thanks a lot, guys. Bye bye.

Bye bye. 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Yes, hello. Hello. Hello, who's this? My name is Ellen. Hi, Ellen.

Ellen. Yes, who's this? Didn't you call us? No one ever asks us that question. We're unprepared to answer that. Okay, are you the car talk guys? That's us. Yeah, we are. Where are you calling from?

Well, I'm calling from Lynn, Massachusetts, at my place of employment, but I live in Peabody, Massachusetts. We know them both. Yeah. Yes. What's up? I own a 1987 Mercury Sable, and it has fewer than 70,000 miles on it. So it's pretty low mileage. And a few months ago, probably about five months ago, I started noticing an intermittent bad odor.

And several people suggested that it might be my heater core Mm-hmm. No, that's there would be unfortunate for this car. Well, I it was unfortunate I did have it replaced And after I had the heater core replaced about five or six weeks ago. The smell was gone good Well over the past about four weeks It seems that I'm getting a smell again and it's not to the degree it was it's like a rotten egg type smell it's not like a mildewy odor it's more like a well i won't tell you what my ten-year-old daughter says

she thinks the car is little flatulence yes exactly she thinks the car has flatulence that's it but that's the type of smell we're talking about. Well, the heater core replacement was probably necessitated by something else. It must have been leaking coolant. The smell that you'd get from a leaky heater core is not offensive at all. In fact, it's kind of nice. Oh, it was very offensive. It has a sweet smell to it. Yeah.

Hmm. And so he must have noticed that the heater core was leaking. Right. Or he had a boat payment due. Ah, there we go. Or whatever. Yes. But obviously that's not the source of your smell.

Your smell is coming from the exhaust system and more likely the catalytic converter. Right. The heater core had nothing to do with the smell. And it's the catalytic converter not functioning correctly because and it can be the result of using a gasoline that has too much sulfur in it and the converter cannot hold the sulfur compounds on itself. I think it uses a nickel compound to... So hold on now we got a little we have some more information here. Do you always buy gas in exactly the same place yeah always does that their voice I would have sounded great good can you say no for our if you had if you had changed gas station yeah that would that would

explain that one explain the other hand sometimes the way you drive will have an effect on it. For example. Go ahead, bail me out of this. Okay. If your car sits in idles for a long period of time, it's more likely to produce the smell because the oxygen sensor will cool off and sometimes when it's not immersed in hot exhaust product, it will cool off enough to send a faulty or erroneous signal to the computer.

Okay. And the computer will alter the mixture and make the smell. I like this. I like this. Okay, it sounds good. So if you, for example, I'm going to stick with it because it's what? The only thing we got. No.

So it's possible that you're more likely to get it when you are stuck in traffic, for example, or when you've done short-wheel distance driving or sat with the engine running and waiting for your daughter to come out of... Wait, wait, say that again? Dance class! Okay, that is true. May I ask a question? No, you're out of questions. You had seven, that's it. Alright, go ahead. As long as it doesn't embarrass us.

Alright, I have a friend, a boyfriend, who suggests that what I'm smelling is strictly road smell. That's what he calls it. He thinks that I smell that may have been sort of blowing by are now coming in the car. Oh, wafting in. No, it's... What do you think about that? No.

No. You serious with this guy? I'd get rid of him. Okay, tomorrow. Tomorrow. So, ding-dong, he's wrong. Ding-dong, he's wrong. Okay. All right. I would suggest that you watch how you drive, for example.

If you are sitting idling for a long period of time and that's when you get the smell, just avoid those situations. Avoid those. Yeah, and try switching brands of gasoline. Sometimes one brand of gas will make more smell than another. And have your boyfriend switch brands of deodorant. That might help control. And don't pick him up at the gym anymore.

No, I won't, but I never do. Oh, good. So really, try a different brand of gas. Try a different brand of gas and try driving the car as opposed to parking with it with the engine running. Okay, I will do that. I'll take your advice. Ellen, it's been a pleasure talking to somebody from Peabody.

Oh, I'm sure it has, and it's been a pleasure talking to somebody from P-Bot. Oh, I'm sure it has. And it's been a pleasure speaking with you. See you later. Thanks for calling. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. We'll be right back with the answer to the puzzler after these messages.

This message comes from WISE, the app for doing things in other currencies. Send, spend, or receive money internationally, and always get the real-time mid-market exchange rate with no hidden fees. Download the Wyse app today or visit Wyse.com, T's and C's apply. If you're a regular listener to the Best of Card Talk podcast, then you probably enjoy some of NPR's really good podcasts too. Well, with NPR+, you get message come from the Walton Family Foundation, working to create access to opportunity for people and communities by tackling tough social and environmental problems. More information is at waltonfamilyfoundation.org. This message comes from Wondery.

Kill List is a true story of how one journalist ended up in a race against time to warn those on the list whose lives were in danger. Follow Kill List wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, Tommy. Now, I'm sure you remember that last week's puzzler was about the guy that comes in with the muffler problem and man, he says, no, it's the front pipe. Right? You remember that? Yeah, that was two weeks ago.

But last week was the one about the guy who had his golf club stolen, wasn't it? Sheesh! Hahaha! Hahaha! Hahaha! I love it! As Chester A. Rowley would say, I'm surrounded by assassins! See now, if I had said to you, do you want about a hundred bucks,

that I can remember the puzzle in your... I no longer bet with you! I've gotten burned too many times! You wouldn't have taken the bet! You would not have, right? I might have. Okay. I'm working up to something just when you least expect it.

Something big, huh? Expect it. Alright. Well, anyway, here's the puzzler. No fun anymore. This was sent in to us via email by Steve Scudder. Via? Via.

I say via. How do you say via duct? Via duct. Here it is. A soldier returned to his base to find his golf clubs had been stolen from his new 1960-something Ford. We'll call it a 65 Ford. Yeah.

I don't know why it was an old car. I don't get this. Well, that's happened to be the story. That's when it happened. It could have been a newer car. Sure. Could be any car, virtually. Yeah. Almost any car virtually yeah almost any car

Yeah, after complaining around the base I guess he figured out that this crime had been repeatedly happening with Fords and only Fords parked in the base parking lot Uh-huh while the car owners were on military duty No damage had been reported to the cars only the thefts so our soldier figures out that someone must have a like a master key Skeleton key of some skeleton keys to let himself into the cars parked only the thefts. So our soldier figures out that someone must have a master key. Skeleton key of something. Skeleton key to let himself into the car's parking lot. What did he do to prevent this burglary from happening to him again? The hint is he didn't spend any money, only a few minutes, maybe even less than a minute, with a common tool, something you'd find in every workshop. He went to the hobby shop on the base and he said, can I borrow a hacksaw? And what he did was he cut his key in half, not longitudinally.

He cut it in half the other way. Yeah. Stuck the broken- Latitudinally. Latitudinally. Stuck the piece that you wouldn't grip with your fingers into The lock yeah And now it required his special half key to open it and no such skeleton key or master key could open this lock

But any screwdriver would have opened it with a crowbar Yeah, if it was a convertible that was a mistake. Yeah, it would have been. Because as we know, you never, ever lock a convertible. Not unless you want the top slashed. Not unless you need a new top. Alright, who's our winner, man? Whoa! The winner this week is Reverend. Reverend?

Reverend. A fellow reverend. Yes. A man of the cloth such as ourselves. As are we, yes. Reverend Thomas K. Schmidt from Rugby, North Dakota. Imagine the anticipation amongst the clergy in this country listening while you said a man of the cloth, Reverend, and... Yeah, every rabbi, priest, and minister in the world was saying, is it I, Lord? No, it wasn't. It was only Thomas K. Schmidt from Rugby North Dakota and forgetting his answer picked

at random from among those thousands of correct answers that we had. Old Reverend Tom is going to get a copy of the second best of car talk CD and a gallon of holy radiated water for his cooling system. Courtesy of Sri Bugsy Lala, our technical and spiritual advisor. His menu advisor too. And menu, yes. Anyway, I have a bunch of new puzzlers and I don't know which one I'm going to use in the second half, but I promise it will be interesting.

Wow, yeah. Yes, and we're going to dare once again to play Stump the Chumps. Oh, so this is in the way of Stay Tuned? Oh yeah, yes, and we're gonna dare once again to play stump the chumps. Oh, this is in the way of stay tuned Oh, yeah, stay tuned If you want to hear stump the chumps and the new puzzler or the new puzzler stay tuned in the meantime if you'd like To call us our numbers 1-800-332-9287. Hello. You're on car talk. Hello. This is a Nathaniel from Tacoma, Washington. I'd be a while to figure out who you were a uh... uh... nathaniel from tocoma washington ideal while to figure out who you were a

the actor uh... a phony name is a little bit uh... this is uh... robert randford and uh... uh... well i am that hey i'm doing very well sir may i call you nats you may call me not to have a perfect people ever got there right in the first ride all of us opposed to meet right exactly

so what's up man well um... it's it i tell you i i i just got myself uh... i'm not about nine hundred uh... and i know uh... no it's not it's not brand new actually nineteen eighty five eighty five that's practically brand new

well i think that the i can't go short but i have a hundred and sixty seven 85 that's practically brand new. Yeah I guess so. Sure. But it has 167,000 miles on it and I just drove it up from Colorado you see my mom gave it to me. Really? And I went to my future mother-in-law's house the first thing to show it off to her. Of course. And all my in-laws were there and I took them out. Future in-laws. Oh my future in-laws were there and uh... i'd future future in-laws of my future in-law that's right we open up the doors we looked at the car it started rolling down the hill in front of my in-laws house the break with that

and i would running expect that could after this car down the hill and uh... and i do feel happy and it was just terrible so i had to come to the car and uh... adopted in the intersection and and turned it on and and and got a back up the hill again but

what's really weird about this not one week earlier i had had all the break looked at in colorado and gotten new breaks put on the car well there is a set this is a manual transmission car right the manual training you're obviously you were neutral right why are you a neutral well i i i can only think that maybe somebody might have dropped a little out of here

now one of those in-laws yeah exactly yeah never in-laws future in-laws maybe use maybe they didn't want to be future-in-laws. Maybe they were trying to get rid of you. Oh. You were obviously embarrassed by this.

Very, yes. Very. Well, I was embarrassed, and I was trying my best, and it was sort of a moment of bursting into flames, so to speak. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's very possible that whoever did the brake job did everything perfectly fine, and still the handbrake wouldn't work. Now on this car, the handbrake is incorporated into the front calipers.

Oh, alright. Okay. So that when you pull on the handbrake, you are pulling a lever which moves the front caliper pistons. And it's possible, and it happens from time to time, that either they screwed the pistons. Okay. And it's possible and it happens from time to time that either they screwed the pistons in too far when they put the new pads in, which would make the handbrake lever pull all the way up. Did it pull all the way up? Yeah, it does. It does. I mean it's really, it's just like there's no play in it anymore. Yeah, it pulls all the way up but it doesn't

hold the car. And it doesn't even feel tight even though you're pulling it way up to the top of its travel. Well, it does sort of. It sort of does the job, but I need to put it in gear nowadays. Well, I mean you should put the car in gear anyway. Okay. Especially if it's a Saab because even when they work well, they're lousy, these emergency brakes.

It's very, very possible that being in gear will not be sufficient a on a big hill a steep hill without the handbrake Okay, you need both so really steep hill you may want to even chalk the wheels all right, okay? I mean you of course you always turn the wheels in toward the curb right right and away from the curb when I'm going uphill Yeah, good, so I need to get out and get some chalk to my wheel Well you need to do is find out if the emergency brakes are working. You need to take it to a shop up there in Tacoma. Oh, okay. Just pull on the brake and drive and see if it goes.

Well, he knows it goes because it already went, even without the engine running. Now, we know the emergency brake isn't working correctly. It's possible that they either screwed the pistons in too far or one of the emergency brake mechanisms is damaged and it may be working on only one wheel. They'll put it on the lift, they'll apply the handbrake, and they'll see if both of the wheels are locked up. If one of them isn't locked up, the caliper may need to be replaced. But you have to fix this. This is dangerous, Nat. Okay, alright.

Yeah, just say nothing of the embarrassment. Yeah! I mean, jeez! Here's my new... Oop, there it goes! Hey, who did that? Well, Nathaniel, good luck. Yeah, alrighty. See you later. Thanks, guys. Good luck, Matt it goes. Hey, who did that? Well, Nathaniel, good luck. Yeah, all righty. See you later.

Thanks, guys. Good luck, man. Bye. Bye. Don't move, because more calls and the new puzzler are coming right up. Support for NPR and the following message come from Carnegie Corporation of New York,

working to reduce political polarization through philanthropic support for education, democracy, and peace. More information at carnegie.org. From your car radio to your smart speaker, NPR meets you where you are in a lot of different ways. Now we're in your pocket. Download the NPR app today. Hi we're back you're listening to Car Talk on National Public Radio with us, clicking clack the tappet brothers, and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and BS, binary

search. Well, actually, we're not going to discuss binary search. Binary search was only the method by which I came to this note. Oh, really? This letter. Oh, you looked at one and then another. I put them into two piles here of real junk and maybe I could use this and it came down to this one, which has nothing whatever to do with binary search. I understand now. It

has to do with self-deprecating humor. This is a note from Dave Gannon from PGH, Pennsylvania, whatever the heck that means. It's now official. Women like men who practice self-deprecating humor. I refer you to the April 1997 issue of Men's Health Magazine, page 134, under PokeFun at Yourself. Psychologist Michael Cunningham says his research shows that this is because that kind of humor isn't threatening and points out that you're confident enough to risk looking silly. If this is true, you too may be the most confident men in the world as well as being true babe magnets.

Whoa! Women like men who practice self-deprecating. So we are the world's biggest baby All I want to know is can I come up and hang around the shop for a few days? Aha pick up some cast offs as well as maybe take a shot at some of your cast offs, right? Dave Gannon, Pennsylvania, but it just shows just goes to show you how something that sounds so convincing and likely can be so far off base. Was James Bond, excuse me, self-deprecating humor? I think not!

But James Bond was a bonafide babe magnet. And we are. In the absence of all the other things that it takes you to be a bonafide babe magnet like handsome, debonair, suave, wealthy, in the absence of all those attributes. Self-deprecation. Then you might as well just make fun of yourself because you ain't got nothing. Because everyone else is. Is that it?

All right. Okay. What now? Oh, an interesting puzzler. It's time for the new puzzle. You know, like I said, I have a plethora of puzzlers, but I am going to use one from like 20 years ago. You mean that we used 20 years ago?

Because I like it so much. Oh, here it is. A blind man enters the subway by walking down the stairs with the... I remember it so much. Oh, here it is. A blind man enters the subway by walking down the stairs with the... I remember it well. With the assistance of his seeing eye dog. Yeah. When he gets to the bottom of the stairs,

there is a cage behind which is sitting a woman who's the token vendor. Yeah. And there's a sign there that says, tokens, 40 cents. Yeah. The dog pees in the floor. He reaches into his pocket and through the slit in the cage, he hands her a dollar. Yeah.

No words are spoken. She has never seen him before. And what? He certainly has never seen her. before and what he certainly has never seen her. She hands him two tokens and 20 cents change. Now you know this puzzler is from years ago because there's not a subway token in the world that cost 40 cents anymore. They're so expensive now you have to sneak underneath the little turntable. My back is breaking. It's the advantage of being short. I do the limbo. I've developed a nice slide technique.

Yeah. The question is, very simply, how did she know he wanted two tokens? You have all the information that you need to solve this puzzle. I got it. Before you, and some that you don't need. How about he gives it a doll and he raises two fingers? He does no such thing. Well, it would work. You have all the information you need. I could give a hint, but I don't think it's necessary.

No, no, I wouldn't give any hints. I think it's beautiful as it stands. It is. It's elegant. It's absolutely beautiful. In its simplicity. Now if you think you know the answer, send it to us at Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3500, Harvard Square, that's H-A-H-V-A-H-D-S-Q-U-A-Y-A-H, Cambridge. Oleficity, sorry, I was asleep there.

Math 02238. Or you can email us your answer from CarTalk.com by clicking on the Talk to Car Talk section. And don't forget, if you email us your answer from CarTalk.com by clicking on the Talk to Car Talk section. And don't forget if you email us your answer, you have to include your normal post office address. Otherwise, how can we tell you that you won? Well, we could tell you, but we wouldn't be able to send you the wonderful prize. Oh, yes.

Maybe that's why people don't put their addresses. Don't forget that wonderful prize is one of our CDs. That's right. Hey! Do you know what it's time for? Time to check for dandelions in the backseat if you're tired. Nope. It's time to play Stump the Chumps! So which caller are we revisiting this week? This week's Chump Stumper is Joel from Kingston, Pennsylvania. Joel called about his deadbeat brother-in-law. One day this brother-in-law just shows up at his doorstep and says, Joel, I gotta leave this 83 Honda Civic here on your front lawn for a little while.

I remember this. Oh, until the heat's off. Something like that. But would you believe several months later the car was still sitting there. The nerve of that guy. Oh, how well I can relate. Now I hope you weren't presumptuous enough to offer Joe any advice on dealing with this situation, having foisted that heap of a 65 ambassador on me for six long years. It was only a couple of days. And besides, I'm particularly well suited to offer advice. of a 65 ambassador on me for six long years.

It's only a couple of days. And besides, I'm particularly well suited to offer advice I know about this stuff. Uh-oh, I'm having another one of those Revy Shankoff flashbacks. Shut up and listen to the tape, will ya? We might need this car. He is emotionally attached to this car.

It's got 225,000 miles on it. Yeah, I mean, how well could it run with 200 and how much longer could it have left? Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I can sit there forever. He can't mess with a person's feelings. He needs help letting go. Here's what you do. He doesn't need the whole car. He needs a memento. Break off the rear view mirror. And mail it to him.

And mail it to him. And you it to him. And if that, and you're going to help with the separation process. I think every week you should break off a piece of a car and mail it to him. And say please kiss this goodbye. And eventually the whole car will be where? Back at his house. I can't believe that in the ten years that your 65 ambassador convertible sat rotting at the shop. I didn't once think of that.

The Don Corleone approach? You would do that to your own brother? In a New York minute, man! Alright, let's find out what Joe decided to do. Joe, are you there? Yes, I am. Alright, before we ask you what you did, we have to common-marandize you. Is it true, Joe, that we have not spoken since your original appearance on Car Talk those

many weeks or months ago? Correct. And Joe, can you assure our audience that my brother has not taken an interest, financial or otherwise, in your brother-in-law's 83 Civic? No, he didn't get any offers. Okay, well, what happened, man? Well, you know, I thought about your advice and I figured you know that rear-view mirror idea sounded good you know that the

Godfather approach worked good I put in a little box Shipped it down to him so when he saw the bloody mirror there Yeah, he got the message So what did he do oh well Three months later. He he he pondered off on somebody. Oh he did with with him. That's quick That's well, I mean after all those years that is quick. That's well, I mean, after all those years, that is quick. That is, yeah. He's considering, he's got a 74 TVR sitting in his mother's side yard for 13 years. I don't know.

I mean, I'm sorry to say that I'm on his side and I think it's just wonderful to have vehicles sprinkled around on your lawn. It's nice first of all to even have a lawn. Well, no, it's all right to have them sprinkled on your lawn. It's when they're on someone else's lawn as Joe knows that it's a pain. Well, I think everyone should be proud to have a car sitting there. Well, when the weeds start growing through the roof, it's kind of hard to get the weed eater up that high.

It is. Well, Joe, I'm glad you took our advice. I'm glad you got rid of this beast. I thank you greatly for it. It worked. And move and don't send a forwarding address. Well, thanks for letting us get back to you, Joe. Anytime.

See you later. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Well, you've wasted another hour of your precious youth listening to car talk. My precious? My precious youth? Well, no, I was talking to our listeners. Our esteemed producer is Doug the Subway Fugitive, not a slave to Fashion Berman. Our associate producer

and dean of the College of Automusicology is Ken Babyface Rogers. Our assistant producer is Catherine Cathode-Ray, who's feeding answers to my brother every week. Our engineer is Karen Given, who's probably doing the same thing. and our technical advisor, the fastest hand at the buffet table is John Bugsy free lunch, what last chicken wing, Lola? Our public opinion pollster is Paul Murky of Murky Research, assisted by statistician Margin O'Vara. Our director of new product repair is Warranty My Foot. Our director of staff pay increases is Save Your Breath.

Our staff butler from the Car Talk Bombay Division is Mahatma Kot.. Our document security expert from the island of Jamaica is Urippadees Uppman. Our marriage counselor is Marion Haste. Our head of used car purchasing is Yul B. Hoofnit. Our behavior consultant is Wyatt B. Hoofzia. Our director of country music is Stan Byerman. Our blues director is Herman Gonaway. Our secretary of halogen, Herman Gonaway, Herman, oh I see that look. Took me a while. Thinking doesn't come easy. It doesn't. It's so painful.

Our secretary of halogen headlamps is Madeleine Holbright. The chairman of the Federal Lubrication Board is Alan Griespan. The manager of our weekly shrimp buffet is Sheldon Devane. The curator of Tom's Car Collection of course is Rex Blore. Our chief counsel from the law firm of Dewey Cheatham and Howe, as you Lewis Dewey, known around the square as you Louie Dewey. Thanks so much for listening. We're clicking clack to Tappert Brothers, and remember, whatever, don't drive like my

brother. Whatever, don't drive like my brother. We'll be back next week. Bye bye. I'm gonna go. And now, with an important announcement, here is Car Talk Plaza's chief mechanic, Vinnie Gulbaz. Vinnie, here you are. If you want Car Talk T-shirts, notetapes, CDs, you can either click on the Shameless Commerce Division at cartalk.com or you can

order stuff by calling, you get ready for this number here, 303-823-8000. You can also use that number to get a cassette of today's show which is number 17. That's 303-823-8000, thank you very much. Car Talk is a production of Do We Cheat Him and How and WBUR in Boston. And even though Scott Simon has to choked back the This is NPR National Public Radio