The Best of Car Talk - #2492: A Car for the Zombie Apocalypse

Episode Date: November 16, 2024

We've noticed that Consumer Reports doesn't have a category for choosing the best vehicle for the upcoming zombie apocalypse. Find out what all the best zombies will be driving on this episode of the Best of Car Talk. Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

If you're a regular listener to the Best of Car Talk podcast, then you probably enjoy some of NPR's really good podcasts too. Well, with NPR+, you get perks like sponsor-free listening, bonus episodes, and more for over 20 different NPR podcasts. So start supporting what you love and stop hearing promos like this one by heading over to plus.npr.org. ["The Star-Spangled Banner"] Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers. And we're broadcasting this week From the Center for interspecies communications here I like it into species. Oh

Yeah, here's an interesting article that appeared a couple of weeks ago in Newsweek I think it's a blurb about a book called spoken cat where author and wacko spoken cat where author and wacko apparently, Alexander Sellers claims to have interpreted cat language. She's nuts. Well, in her book, she tells you how to speak cat. For instance, ma means cut that out and bring me some cream. And I happen to know from my own experience that

ma means, no, not on the laundry chute again. And I happen to know from my own experience that MAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH means Can I take the stairs? Anyway, this is obviously silliness but it is something that if interspecies communication is possible between humans and felines. Why not between humans and automobile mechanics? Yeah. Yeah. I like it.

With my vast expertise, and having spent years in the mechanics natural habitat of grease and grime. I mean, it would be good for humanity if there were communication between those two species. Well, so you know how to interpret some of the sounds that you hear in the shop. So I thought I would teach the general public a few expressions that can be used and or understood when talking

to one's mechanic. For instance, you listen carefully to the inflection so you don't... I'm going to try to guess. Okay. Yeah. What does that mean? Do that again. That little upward inflection at the end.

No idea. That means, hi, how are you? Oh, alright, I was looking for some deeper meaning but I guess that was stupid. Let's start not slow because this is tough. Okay, yeah. Oh, that's different? That means I think I know what's wrong with this car. No, you're going too deep. It means, fine, thanks. Thank you. Ha ha ha!

OK, yeah. Mm. What is the meaning of life? Mm. And why are we here on this planet? Mm-hmm means clutch jar. Ha ha ha! Boat payment.

Why do you say boat payment? Where we getting to that? Oh, you are. Yeah. Grrr. Oh, you are. Yeah. Oh, you are in a lot of trouble. That's right. Which equates to? Boat payment. Many boat payments.

Many boat payments. Yeah, this is good. I like it. Yeah. A whole boat. A liner. a whole boat a liner here's one more the transmission fell on my foot not the laundry shooting and none of these expressions should be confused with... Let me feel it again now. That's the sound you make after we do takeout from Sam's. Anyway, if you'd like to call us about your car or communication with your mechanic, our number is 1-800-332-9287.

Hello, you're on Car Talk. This is Helen McAllister in Knoxville, Tennessee. Hi, Helen. No last9287. Hello, you're on car talk. This is Helen McAllister in Knoxville, Tennessee From Knoxville Knoxville where you guys are big heroes. Yeah, what did we do? We didn't show up Anyway What brings you to us today? Well, I have a 1990 Acura legend that I dearly love Sure, and it's got standard transmission Legend that I dearly love. Sure. And it's got standard transmission and all of this.

About a year ago, I noticed a noise in what I thought was the front rear, front rear, front right tire. I was being a passenger in my own car, which is a rare occurrence for me. Yeah. And I thought I heard this thump, thump, thump, but no one else could hear it. But I've got special ears for car noises, because I used to be on a pit crew for SCCA sports car driver, and I know a little bit about cars.

I can hear things sometimes. Anyway, no one else heard it. Well, over the year, it's gotten louder. And somebody said that it was probably tires. So I took it down to a tire place, and they checked the tires, rotated them, balanced them, and the noise noise is still there at least as loud as it was before. And it's still on the right front. Well it's hard to say exactly that's where I was sitting the first time I heard it. It's real difficult to say

where it's coming from but I eliminated it being the differential because it doesn't change when I'm turning left or right. Very good, Helen. Thank you. And it's not the transmission because in neutral it's the same, and it increases with the speed of the car. Yeah. So it's directly related to rotation of the car. Sounds like a tire to me. And it increases proportionally.

Proportionally, yeah. To the speed of the car. That's a very important point, proportionally. But somebody told me, a mechanic told me, he didn't think it was tires, he thought it was wheel bearings. I think so, too In fact, if you my brother looks at my page, I've just written bad wheel bearing Well wrote down chicken chow mein I suspect you have one what we call rogue ball in your right front wheel bearing.

You think so. A rogue ball. It's like a rogue elephant. The bearing is made up of a bunch of balls that circulate in a cage. Helen probably knows that. Well, for our other listeners, the balls, in fact there are probably two rows of balls for this bearing, and the balls ride between something called an probably two rows of balls for this bearing, and the balls ride between something called an inner race and an outer race, and that is

what supports the balls, what supports the load of the wheel. And what's happened, I think one of the balls has gotten spalled. And what's happening is that ball is, as it's's turning around is the rough spot on it all the spalled spot is hitting and making the bump bump bump. It sounds like something I don't have to fix. Well eventually you'll have to but not right away. It could also be for example a bad constant velocity joint which also has balls in a race as well.... cases of the cost of velocity joints i could be making this noise but i would wait till it gets worse so what you

should do is have someone look at it and assure you that uh... the ball joints are in good shape and the wheel is not loose is there any danger i mean what happened well there is a little worse that can happen well we'll could fall off but other than that it's not well i mean it is dangerous because one of when a wheel bearing seizes the wheel stops turning and so Crazy things long before that it will sound like in fact a rogue elephant is riding on You can go out of town with our blessing

I mean, I'm not sure that I have completely eliminated the tires How old how old are the tires? I think a couple years old. They've got 30 to 40 on them. They're Pirelli P160s I think. Those are good tires. They are good tires. Any tire can have tread separation no matter how good it is. Okay. See it's possible that when he rotated the tires, if he just put the right front tire on the right rear and the right rear on the right front, then if you heard the noise coming out of your right ear, then it wouldn't have changed very much. You guys are very scientific. Noises don't come out of the ears.

They don't? No. I thought that's how noises came. Good luck, Helen. See you later. Oh, thanks. Bye bye. Bye.

Bye bye. I think it's a tire. I think so too. Bye bye. Bye bye. I think it's a tie. I think so too. 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk.

Hi, this is Tom. Hey. Tom. How are you doing? Great name. Where are you from, Thomas? White Plains, Maryland. Tom, what's on your mind?

All right. I've got a daughter. That's a big problem right there. Yeah. She's finishing her third year in college in about two weeks. Uh-huh. And she's not going to go back for her fourth year. Good.

She wants to go back to college. That's a big problem right there. Yeah. She's finishing her third year in college in about two weeks, and she's not going to go back for her fourth year. Good. She wants to go to Fiddle Town, California to work on an organic farm as a laborer. Okay? Fiddle Town. Yeah. That's up in the Gold Rush country somewhere not too far from Sacramento.

There is nothing to make one embrace education more and physical labor i'm hoping that yes i'm hoping you're right but here's my dilemma he had a nineteen eighty seven to go to pick up it's got a hundred and thirty thousand miles on it runs pretty good right now it has the original clutch

here's my question Do I take a proactive approach on this and fix what's not broke? Or do I take a chance of her breaking down in someplace like Iowa or someplace? You got to bear in mind if that happens My daughter's a little bizarre She's clothing impaired for example Kind of dresses like a bag lady and she's a vegan you know the vegan is no no that's a person who doesn't eat meat and doesn't eat dairy and only after she does this physical labor she'll be

eating raw cow hungry she did it last summer you know locally here and loved it she did huh and she wants to be an organic farmer. A vegan, huh? A vegan, yeah. I love the name. I call her the food Nazi. So how did you raise such a strange daughter? I don't know.

No, it's obvious she takes after your wife, right? That's it. She's certainly an interesting person. Yeah. Good for her. Yeah, she is interesting. Sure she is. well that's it that's it that's certainly an interesting person good for her yes she is interesting shows but uh... she doesn't walk uh... too close to the ground he's kind of you know they are about two inches above you know well there are some people i mean this this all will be part of the

experience yet and she's not the least bit afraid to drive this thing out there are no who all you get to the adventure and that's what your grandchildren about. But you realize I'm gonna be the one who gets the call from you know some place in Nevada when she's busted down, what do I do now? Yeah well I can't eat because there's nothing here but hamburger. Right. Yeah so what do I do? Yeah I mean you're probably right that the clutch is unlikely to last much longer even if she makes it across. I mean you're probably right that the clutch is unlikely to last much longer, even if she makes it across.

I mean a clutch with 130,000 miles on it is a clutch that's really even had it. But your mechanic can easily test it and by the engagement point can tell you whether it'll make it, you know, the other six months or another six years. Okay. So that's easy. All right. You should have tested obviously are the brakes completely. You want to check all the hydraulic lines, you want to check of course the ball

joints. Check the whole front end, the suspension system, make sure wheels are not going to fall off. Make sure the wheel bearings are repacked and are adjusted correctly. And you want to make sure that the vehicle has the best chance of making it without going nuts and replacing things that... Yeah, I figured maybe if I put like a thousand bucks in it, not counting the clutch, that would be about right.

Yeah, and then vegan should have a nice trip. What is vegan's name? Her name's Joanna, and she's going out there with her boyfriend, who's an archaeologist. So I mean like, what's his chance to get the job? Oh, so she's not traveling alone? No, he's gonna... Here was her plan, you know, go in his truck and he'll get an archaeologist job And I'll go work on this farm and I said you're gonna be stuck up on this farm

You gotta have your own vehicle. So I want her to follow him out. I figured that would be safe Oh, that's great. They'll have dog. That's terrific. Yeah, they're all set. I wouldn't worry about a thing All right, and as soon as she leaves you can start the freezer with Live it up man man. You should be back before you know it. See you later. Thanks a lot. Bye. Hey, hey, the puzzler answer and more calls are coming up right after this.

This message comes from WISE, the app for doing things in other currencies. Send, spend, or receive money internationally and always get the real-time mid-market exchange rate with no hidden fees. Download the Wyze app today or visit wyze.com, tease and seize apply. I'm Rachel Martin, host of NPR's Wild Card podcast. I'm the kind of person who wants to skip the small talk and get right to the things that matter. That's why I invite famous guests like Ted Danson, Jeff Goldblum, and Issa Rae to skip the surface stuff. We talk about what gives their lives meaning, the beliefs that shape their worldview, the moments of joy

that keep them going. Follow Wild Card wherever you get your podcasts only from NPR. On the TED Radio Hour, on December 24th, NASA's Parker Solar Probe will touch the Sun. The spacecraft will hit the closest approach ever to the Sun. Astrophysicist Norah Wafey leads the mission. We will be making history. To this day, it's still like magic to me. Ideas about the Sun. That's on the TED Radio Hour podcast from NPR. On NPR's Wild Card podcast, comedian Seth Meyers talks frankly about his early career. I was far more temperamental when I was younger and things ran very hot at S&L.

And there were definitely times where my instincts were to say something that would have been relationship ending to people. I'm Rachel Martin. Seth Meyers is on Wild Card, the show where cards control the conversation. Okay. Okay what? Let's answer last week's puzzler, shall we? Oh, yeah, you mean the one about when you were a little kid and you had to write left-handed and they kept you over the head with a stick saying, right-handed, right-handed. That one? Yeah. Okay, let's do that. That's the one. Okay, smartypants, what's next week's puzzler?

Doody doody doody. I was reading something the other day. I'm getting sick of this, it's too easy, you know? I've been taking, I have to tell you. What have you been taking? Memory pills. You told us that last week. I forgot.

Oh well, it's not working that well, I guess. At some point you'll have to devolve to us how you're doing this. At some point. Because we know it isn't the memory pills because. No, it's not the memory pills. Yeah, and I know Catherine has something to do with it. No, I will devolve someday, but not at this time. Not at this time, all right.

Anyway, here's the puzzler. I was reading something the other day where I discovered that Leonardo da Vinci was left-handed But he wrote backwards now that is he wrote from the right hand side of the page to the left Okay, yeah, and and so you need a mirror to read his writing and I said, huh? That's kind of interesting. I wonder why he did that then I remember when we were kids Well when you were a kid, they were still writing with stones Then I remember when we were kids, well, when you were a kid, they were still writing with stones.

Yeah, we had hammers. But when I was a kid, every kid that was a lefty was forced to write right-handed, almost without exception. And back then, there was a very good reason for it, a practical reason that for the most part does not exist today. And the question was very simply, what was that reason? Hmm. Yeah. Well, back when we were children, we wrote with

fountain pens, which had ink. Actually we wrote with the ink wells, we had ink wells on our desks. Yeah. And if you dip the pen in the ink well and you write from left to right, you do not smudge the ink as you go along because you're leaving the written words behind you.

Yeah. But if you're a lefty and you do that as you drag your hand across the paper You are Messing everything smudging everything well. You know I mentioned they hit the kids with big sticks That's not why though No, I mentioned this to my daughter who is a lefty and she said, well, it still happens. She said because when I write, she said, left the right, left-handed, I still smudge the paper,

even with pencils. So there you go. Well, lefties ought to be. I'm gonna have to just start beating it out of her. I think so. Start tomorrow. Start tomorrow. Hey, who's our winner?

The winner, David B. Adolphus from Burlington, Vermont Hey, that's where my wife was born. Really? I don't remember. No, you're lying Well David Adolphus for having your correct answer chosen at random from among the thousands If not hundreds of correct answers that we got you're gonna win yourself a free copy of the second best of car talk CD. And remember Dave, the state of Vermont asks that you please dispose of this in an environmentally responsible way. People have been throwing them out by the side of the road and we know Vermont especially is very into the environment.

Oh yes. So please don't throw it out the window when you get it. Bring it to the recycling center. Anyway, we have a new puzzler coming up, a semi or quasi automotive puzzler coming up during the second half of Car Talk. In the meantime, we can take your car questions at 1-800-332-9287.

Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Sabine Farr from Blue Ridge, Texas. Sabine. Yes. Like the river? Yes, but actually I was born in Germany, so. But you're a Texan, originally? Yes. But actually I was born in Germany, so. But you're a Texan? Originally?

No. No? She just said she was born. How much more original than born can you get? Well, I know. Werner von Braun was born in Germany. He had the accent. Here's your accent.

You can only hear it when I speak in German. Oh, really? You speak German with a southern accent? Yes. Cool. That's what my friends in Berlin tell me at any rate. Alright. Sabine? Yes. What can we do for you? Well we have finally gotten to the point where we are going to be buying a new car. We want something with good mileage, four doors, and dependable. We have it down to two cars. Oh, that's good. Yeah, we have it down to a Mercury Mystique, which gets, they said on this highway,

about 37 miles per gallon. And we have a Volkswagen Passat TDI, which gets about 45 miles per gallon. The warranty is better on the Passat, but it is a diesel. So let's see, four doors, they both win on that score. Right. Mileage, the Passat wins, and dependability, the Passat wins and has a better warranty. What's the problem? It's a no-brainer.

Isn't it? Well, thank you very much. I was trying to be frugal and spend about $3,000 less for the Mystique. My husband says no, he wants the Volkswagen. I think he's right. I think the Volkswagen is a much nicer car. The Volkswagen does appeal to the survivalist in him. Is that what it is? Is that what he is? Oh yeah, I think so.

You sure he's not a separatist? He may be one of those too, but there's a certain component, namely the engine, which appeals to the survivalist instinct that no matter what happens, you'll be able to drive someplace. Because the diesel's gonna go, go, go. The diesel's gonna go when there is intergalactic war and radiation rains down upon us from the far reaches of the cosmos. Right. The diesel will run on sand.

Rendering all electronic devices useless. The diesel, you'll be able to push it and get it started and drive to Saskatchewan, which will be the only safe haven on the planet. So think about that, Sabine. What is happening to you? I'm sorry. I blacked out for a few seconds here. What happened?

Saskatchewan. Not only Saskatchewan. Moose Jaw Saskatchewan. That's Saskatchewan. Oh, God. I just had a revelation. I don't know what... I broke into a sweat. You've been falling asleep in front of the TV a lot. Oh yeah. You get the sci-fi channel.

That's all I want. Well, the only reason I'm really calling is because we did do a little checking around and like we even called repair shops and stuff and they all said get the American car as opposed to diesel but my husband just says that's because they don't want to work on diesel. Well I will tell you my yeah they don't want to work on diesels plus there's nothing to be done to diesels you know there's no spark plugs and no distributor caps and whatever so they don't need as much maintenance. He likes that too. Yeah you try to find a fan belt for a 97 Mystique after the intergalactic wars. Forget it. And bear in mind that because you live in Texas, the diesel will start every day.

Yeah. Which I wouldn't recommend necessarily to a Minnesotan because as the thing gets older and the compression drops off, it's going to be hard to start. Even when it isn't't old. It's gonna be hard to start in the winter. But you are you are the ideal candidate for a diesel. Yeah, and it takes you back to your roots. So being let's not forget that. It takes me back to Germany, doesn't it? Back to Germany. You know a German car he can live with. All right. Well, I think you'll love it.

He liked you. So he should like the German car as well. Well, yeah, but it was my cooking that he was interested in. Ah, yes, my little strudel. You know, homemade strawberry preserves will do it every time. Yes, they will. Good luck, Sabine. Bye, thanks. Bye-bye. Send us a picture of you with the Volkswagen.

Will do. All right, bye. 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, how you doing? Good. Who's this? This is Ben from Philadelphia.

Hi, Ben. How's it going? How you doing? Ben with one N, huh? Ben with one N, exactly. Just checking. What's so, anyway, what's the nature of your call? Okay.

Two weeks ago, I went home for the weekend. I'm a student, I'm in Philadelphia, but I went home to North Jersey to visit my parents and I borrowed their car. It's a 96 Land Rover Discovery automatic. It's a nice car. I went out, I came back late, like one o'clock in the morning and what happens sometimes when I come back late at night

and I know there's nobody on the street, I have to describe my street. My street, the street going up to my house, you go up a little medium hill, then you go down the other side and there's this long flat bit and then it curves left and then you make a sharp right into my driveway and then a sharp left into the garage. I got it. Good. And the driveway is ever so slightly uphill. And what I do, I used to do this in the old car all the time. I used to, you get, you go a little bit fast over the top of the hill, you

drop your lights down to the parking lights, you open the windows, you put it in neutral, and you turn off the ignition. Yeah, and you see if you can make it right into the garage and hope the door is open. Well, I've never made it to the garage. I always make it up the driveway and then I chicken out and I turn on the ignition again because the power steering goes out, the power brakes go out, which is no problem. I'm a big guy. Oh yeah, we know that. You sound like a big guy this is great so I get in a Land Rover and I'm coming home and I do this I pop the lights down drop the

windows windows are important yeah because then you can hear it yeah and I come up over the hill and I'm clicking along I'm going well no problem yeah I make the curve left so that's fine I got a lot of speed there I make the sharp right into the driveway I lose a lot of speed there I make the sharp right into the driveway I lose a lot of speed there and for the first time I think I'm gonna make it into the garage Wow, and so I take the wheel and I start I mean pulling it to the left very hard And I'm about halfway through this turn into the garage and I smell and see smoke

Coming out. I don't want to say billowing billowing probably isn't the right word but it wasn't exactly from under the hood of smoke it's from under the hood and also from my gear change box yeah yeah you can see what my concern is yeah I'm freaking out now it's one o'clock in the morning do I go in do I wake up my parents I don't know I don't know you sneak in the house you just go to sleep exactly I don't know what Oh no you sneak in the house you just go to sleep. Exactly I don't know what happened to the car. I didn't even use it. I was using the other car. My friend gave me a ride home. I open the hood it's smoking I'm I wait until the smoke stops it's about ten minutes and I pulled it back into the garage I left

the hood open so that if it did start smoking in the smoke detector right above the car yeah if it did start smoking I figured smoke detector right above the car yeah it's start smoking now I figured it would trade yeah and I didn't say anything and I drove it about like for five minutes the next day just to see if it was gonna blow up and it didn't and I put it back in the garage and I went I went back to Philadelphia oh what a tangled web we yeah well now here's the thing my parents want to take a trip that in your agonizing many sleepless nights i think that you know i was there i need to know when they when it does break down to clearly i did something

what when they pull it into the shop the shop now they will g somebody must have been pulling a hard left turn left our starting up or if they'll be like all your wear and tear well the fact that i'm saying nothing have power steering i think. Or it's gotta be like, oh yeah, wear and tear. Well, the fact that you have power steering, I think, uh, gives me the answer. Yeah. I think because the engine was not running and

you would making the, you were using the steering. You were making the car turn left and right. You were actually forcing fluid out of the reservoir. Which can happen if the, if the steering is worked when the engine is off. We see it all the time in the shop and we push cars broken down cars in from outdoors and The engine is not running because the battery is dead for whatever reason the thing isn't running. It's basically pumping backwards It's pumping as you turn the wheel

It's pumping power steering fluid backwards and it's escaping through the vent in the pump in the pump housing the reservoir And you've spilled power steering fluid which then got blown all over the intake of the pump, in the pump housing, the reservoir, and you spilled power steering fluid which then got blown all over the intake, the exhaust manifold which was hot, and it made all this smoke which then entered the ventilation system, filled up the cabin, the oxygen mass dropped down from the ceiling, the flight attendants came and told you to fasten your seat belt, and then you ducked into the house like a chicken. But I think that's what happened and if you wanted to escape from this and not fess up to what you've done. That is what I want to do. I know that. Sure, I mean that's the man's way. You can

tell your parents to make sure before they go on their trip to check all the fluid levels you, you will listen to some show called Car talk and they suggested that you do this before a long trip Yeah, and that especially 96 discoveries have a problem losing power steering fluid. Okay, and then I'll bet you it's low dad These guys really know their stuff. You'll think you're a genius And when they pull it in the guy in the shop will say I was listening to the show Was that your son do you live at the end of a long winding? Yeah, we have your last name Ben and we'll be sending you folks a tape. Where do they live? In Piscataway? I ain't saying. Well Ben, I think your secret is probably safe with us.

A couple of million people listening. And the 2.6 million listeners that we have, and hopefully none of them will recognize your voice and call your folks. Oh, well I've got the voice changer on here. I'm actually a young lady from... I think you're a dead duck. But do call them and have the fluid levels checked, but I'm pretty sure that's what happened. Okay, but it's not going to blow up or... It's not going to blow up.

It's not going to blow up. And if the steering still works, don't forget there's a reservoir there, so there's more fluid than you actually need. And it wouldn't have taken much fluid to have what you call almost billowing smoke. Okay, great. Thank you very much. See you, Ben. See you. Oh, boy.

That was an interesting little story. I can see this 16-year-old kid, I know he's now in college, but he must have developed this technique when he was 16 years old, borrowed his father's car, gets home at 2 o'clock in the morning. I can see it, it's so beautifully done. All right, what time did you get in Ben? Oh, about 11.30. We'll be right back with more calls and the new puzzler after these messages. Hey, it's Peter Sagal, the host of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Now, if you like Wait, Wait and you're looking for another podcast where the hosts take self-deprecating jabs at themselves and invite important guests on who have no business being there, then you should check out NPR's How to Do Everything. It's hosted by two of the minds behind Wait, Wait, who literally sometimes put words in my mouth. Find the How to Do Everything podcast wherever you are currently listening to me go on about it. I'm Jesse Thorn.

On Bullseye, Connie Chung, the legend of TV news, tells us about her incredible career and Marvel's at the convenience of standing desks. They have these desks here in New York that move up and down. That's on the next Bullseye from MaximumFun.org and NPR. On the TED Radio Hour, clinical psychologists John and Julie Gottman are marriage experts. And after studying thousands of couples, they have found couples who were successful had a really different way of talking to one another

when there was a disagreement or a conflict. How to be brave in our relationships. That's on the TED Radio Hour podcast from NPR. This message comes from Wondery. Some of the craziest conspiracy theories are actually classified government operations. To hear more about these hidden truths, listen to Redacted, Declassified Mysteries with Luke Lamanna on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk on National Public Radio with us, clicking clack the tappet brothers,

and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and lists like Franz and his brother Fred. Yeah. I mean, all these lists come around the internet, and some of them are really very good. Here's one. Real excuses received by school teachers. Whole list of things I picked out my favorites. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school, he has very loose vowels. Now this is the most creative. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday. That's that list. This is the one that, this is fun things to do in an elevator.

And there's a whole list of them, including stare grinning at another passenger for a while and then say, I've got new socks on. Crack open your briefcase or purse and while peering inside say, you got enough air in there? And my personal favorite, grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, shut up, dammit, all of you just shut up! Elevators are great. You have a captive audience.

You sure do. It's like performing in front of prisoners. I'm happy to all the people on the internet who have nothing to do and can put together lists like this. Do you realize this is gonna be the undoing of our civilization, the internet? Yeah. Oh, because it has diminished productivity. Oh!

Probably at least 10%. Yeah, and it's- And as it becomes more interesting and more accessible, it's gonna decrease productivity to the point where we're just, we're- Well, that's okay. As you know, we've always been proponents of decreased productivity. Oh, I have

Bit with our website because you can kill ours. Oh, I mean there is nothing more useless We say probably Yeah, and in fact we will of course post these Yeah, and in fact we will of course post these on the site so that if you didn't hear them or you want to hear the ones that I didn't like, you can, you too, you too can share them. Yeah. And you can post them on your website when you get them. Sure.

All right, here's the puzzler, the puzzler this week. And I- Classy automotive, you said. It is, oh no, it is rather automotive actually. Rather automotive. said it is oh dude is it is rather automotive actually rather automotive this was sent in by Jodie Favre and this was sent via the internet so I don't know Jodie where he or she is Jodie could be either a man's name or woman's name I don't know where he or she is from but I'm gonna use it anyway sure Jodie says here's a puzzler for you yeah in the early 1930s a young inventor came up

with an idea for a little gadget which could be installed in an automobile. Nikolai Tesla. Will you let me finish? 1930s. Okay. 30s. Yeah.

When he tried to sell his idea to his favorite gadget builder, the guy didn't want to build it. He was afraid that Congress would legislate against it because it would be distracting to drivers Review mirror close But the inventor was very persuasive and convinced the guy To build a hundred of these little gadgets which were later sold in front of the factory in just ten minutes golf compartments a Multi-billion dollar business was built on this little gadget and you'll hardly ever

see a car without one now. What is it called? Wow. And for extra credit, who invented it? What else did he invent and where does he now live? You're going to throw in blood type and height and weight? If you have that too, good luck. You're gonna throw in blood type and the height and weight? If you have that too, good luck.

Now if you think you know the answer, send it to us at Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3500, Harvard Square, Cambridge, Our Fair City, MA 02238, or you can email us your answer from CarTalk.com by clicking on the Talk to Car Talk section. Now if you'd like to call us with a question about your car, the number is 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi there. Hi there. From Fiddle Town to New York City. New York City.

Oh, the big city, huh? Who's this? This is Kimberly. What's your name? Kimberly. Kimberly. Kimberly. Those memory pills are really working. And where are you from, Kimberly?

I'm from Fiddle Town, California. I'm from, no, no. I'm from North Oak, Virginia, and I've been living in New York City for the past five weeks. Really? Yes, which is part of the problem. You mean like Manhattan, New York City? I'm in Greenwich Village, in fact. Excellent. Awesome.

Yes, it is, but it is a problem, in fact, involving... re involving three things my car my relationship and new york city you know you guys are the ones to call well i live in new york city have to give up all hope of personal dignity of any kind of i'm slowly learning that but i i am having a hard time getting rid of my car i brought up here because i wasn't ready to let go of the freedom i've been a car owner since i was sixteen and of course

now i pay more for parking that I paid for rent back home. And naturally I haven't used it since I've been here. Of course not. Or I should say I haven't driven it. I have used it. I occasionally go and just sit in it for some quiet. It's parked in a beautiful structure over on the Hudson River so my car has a better view than my apartment does. But on the way up here, driving it up, the closer I got to New York City, the more it started acting up or maybe acting out in protest. I believe it's possibly the fuel filter. When I'm traveling at high speeds, it will occasionally sputter

and hesitate, mostly while accelerating. That sounds like a clogged fuel filter or a weak pump. Bad pump, yeah. Okay, but I'd like, see I had a mechanic back home that was wonderful. I trusted him and even when I would walk in and say dangerously stupid things like I think it's something major, he'd find a $15 problem and charge me $15 to fix it. Well, you don't have to worry about that in New York City. You can go to any repair shop and you will find people that you can trust with your life, practically. Just go in anywhere and they'll say, oh, it's just a fuel filter, 20 bucks, that's it.

And they're especially kind to out-of-towners. They're especially like out-of-towners. They're going to see this bumpkin coming up 6th Avenue. I know it. Oh, but don't worry. I mean, they're just... You'll find New Yorkers to be the wonderful people that we know they are. Five weeks you've lived there.

Yes. And I do love it, but there are, of course, you know, all the problems that I guess most big cities have. There's public urination, which baffles me, because people are allowed to go to the bathroom on the sidewalk, but dogs can't. But not dogs. Dogs, right now that's good that people touch you and weird ways on the bus and uh... let's jump ahead to your relationship because uh... if the relationship isn't very very strong i can see very little reason

for you to be stuck in this case now he's wonderful he's the reason that i moved up here and i understand that but but that doesn't mean that he's not just absolutely driving me buggy living're living together in a tiny apartment which is palatial by new york city standard yeah uh... when i moved from virginia put most of my stuff in storage or or sold it but i did ship twenty eight boxes appear forget it he thought that was outrageous he doesn't understand why i need so many clothes. I don't understand why he still owns everything he's ever owned in this little apartment. We're

tripping over boxes. We're tripping over each other and I have to go sit in my car so often. I give you four more weeks. Yeah. At best. Wow. Well, I mean while you are there you really should enjoy the fruit trees and bloom in Central Park because it is rather lovely this time of year. And after that, I just book it. No, New York City is the center of culture of the universe and you can't beat the falafel. You just told us that people are peeing in the streets and it's the center of culture? So, what's a little public urination?

Yeah, what's a little public urination Yeah, what's a little public urination? I'll tell you what though the most annoying thing are the car horns Yeah, everywhere else people use car horns for safety purposes, but here it really is a nuisance Yeah, I mean when you've been sitting there through five changes of the same traffic light. You'll blow your horn. It's human nature I don't get you, you'll blow your horn. That's human nature. I don't get you. Mother Teresa would blow her horn. Well, here's what I've come up with. The main problem are the cab drivers. They're the ones that lay on the horns nonstop. So if we started a campaign and made it public

so that the cab drivers were aware of it, don't tip your cab driver if he uses his horn unnecessarily. If I have one that doesn't use his horn unnecessarily, I will give him an extra tip and i will tell him why i'm tipping him more hoping that you'll go tell others yeah but very well probably is a soul for you'll be dead by the time you're dreaming Kimberly or absolutely not as the state on the uh... your info but i have and the other your soap side or whatever you are going to sign in this So on the urine soaked sidewalks of New York, I guess a song in there someplace.

He said, nevermind. Hey, good luck, Kimberly. I hope you do last another couple of weeks there. Maintain your enthusiasm and your love of life and hopefully New York won't ruin you like it has. Thank you guys. See ya. Bye bye.

Bye bye. Well, she is a unique spirit. She's done. I mean, she's on. Thank you guys. See ya. Bye bye. Well she is a unique spirit. She's only been there five weeks. I know it takes more than five. Sometimes it only takes a couple hours. She will persevere, I think. I hope so. Unless she moves back. I hope not. Well you've wasted another hour of your precious youth listening to car talk. Our esteemed producer is Doug the Subway Fugitive, not a slave to fashion, Berman. Our associate producer and dean of the College of Automusicology is Ken Babyface Rogers. Our assistant producer is Catherine Cathode-Ray. Our engineer is Karen Given.

And our technical, spiritual, and menu advisor is John Bugsy, free lunch lawler. Our public opinion pollster is Paul Murky of Murky Research, assisted by statistician Marginal Vera. Our director of new product repair is Warranty My Foot. Our director of staff pay increases is Save Your Breath. Our staff butler from the Car Talk Bombay Division is Mahatma Kot. Our document security expert from the island of Jamaica is Euripides Uppman. Our director of upward mobility in Eastern Europe is Z'Big New Chrysler.

Our marriage counselor is Marion Haste. Our head of used car purchasing is You Will Be Hoofing It. Our behavior consultant is Wyatt B. Hoofesia. The chairman of the Federal Lubrication Board is Alan Griespan. Our head of auto theft deterrent is Heather Lock Rear. The manager of our weekly shrimp buffet is Sheldon Devane. The curator of Tom's Car Collection is Rex Galore. And of course our chief counsel from the law firm of Dewey Cheatham and Howe is U. Louis Dewey, known

around the square as Uee Louie Dewey. Thanks so much for listening. We're Click and Clack the Tappan Brothers, and don't drive like my brother. Don't drive like my brother. We'll be back next week. Bye-bye. And now, with an important announcement, here is Card Talk Plaza's chief mechanic, Vinnie Gubatz. If you just want Card Talk t-shirts, tapes or CDs, you can either click on the Shameless

Commerce Division at cardtalk.com or you can order stuff by calling on the phone. That's the number is 303-823-8000. You can also use that number to get a cassette of today's show which is number 19. That number again is 303-823-8000. Hey, what you looking at? CarTalk is a production of Dewey, Cheetah, and Howe and WBUR in Boston. And even though Robert Siegel files a grievance every time he hears us say it, this is NPR National Public Radio.

You care about what's happening in the world. Let State of the World from NPR keep you informed. Each day we transport you to a different point on the globe and introduce you to the people living world events. We don't just tell you world news, we take you there. And you can make this journey while you're doing the dishes or driving your car. State of the World podcast from NPR, vital international stories every day.

You care about what's happening in the world. Let State of the World from NPR keep you informed. Each day we transport you to a different point on the globe and introduce you to the people living world events. We don't just tell you world news, we take you there and introduce you to the people living world events. We don't just tell you world news, we take you there, and you can make this journey while you're doing the dishes or driving your car. State of the World podcast from NPR. Vital international stories every day.