The Best of Car Talk - #2494: Anyone Want to Buy a Box of Cigars?

Episode Date: November 23, 2024

It's a family affair on this episode of the Best of Car Talk. It all starts when Click and Clack's mother, Lizzie, bends their ears about smoking too many cigars, and it doesn't end until their sister, Luba, gives each of them a well-earned dope slap, too. Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

If you're a regular listener to the Best of Car Talk podcast, then you probably enjoy some of NPR's really good podcasts too. Well, with NPR+, you get perks like sponsor-free listening, bonus episodes, and more for over 20 different NPR podcasts. So start supporting what you love and stop hearing promos like this one by heading over to plus.npr.org. Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the Center for Applied Social Psychology here at Car Talk Plaza. Here's another, I guess I have to call it self-evident conclusion brought to us by our buddies in the wonderful world of academia. Hey, watch it! Oh, don't mess with academia. Those people can't get jobs anywhere else. That's true. And they have to do this stuff. Some of it's nasty work but someone has to do it. Someone has to do it.

This is from the most recent Journal of Applied Social Psychology, Dateline, Atlanta, Georgia. You're right, this is heavy duty stuff. People exiting parking spaces will move more slowly if they know someone is waiting for the spot. And if they're haunt that, people will move even more slowly. As it should be, I think. Well, like our ancestor says Penn State sociologist Barry Ruback, who conducted the study, we humans... With federal monies. Well, we'll get to that in a minute. We humans still defend our territories. The study found that on average drivers took 32.2 seconds to pull out of a spot after opening the car door.

But if someone was waiting, it took almost seven seconds longer. And if someone was honking, it took 43 seconds instead of 32.2 seconds. Yeah. That's as it should be. Now, I think here's a second part of the study. Yeah. Ruback also found that male drivers were affected by the type of car that was waiting for the space.

Yeah. When he waited, you get this, you're ready for this. When he waited for our spot in a 57,000 infinity Q 45, $57,000 infinity Q 45 men pulled out in 30 seconds. Yeah. Whereas when he waited for the spot in a $5,000 Infinity Q45, men pulled out in 30 seconds. Yeah. Whereas when he waited for the spot in a $5,000 beat up station wagon, men took 40 seconds. Oh.

Women, they didn't care what kind of car was waiting. They're not impressed by cars. Weren't impressed. But here's my question. What happened to the Infinity when the study was over? Yeah, that's a question. Can you see the NIH grant application now? Research, $3,000.

Materials, $57,000. And what I want to know is, where's the $5,000 car? I'll take that. Now, interesting, I mean, what would happen if you were in a 63 Dodge Dart? In other words, does it work the other way too? The other way. Well, interesting, I mean, what would happen if you were in a 63 Dodge Dart? In other words, does it work the other way too? Oh, does it? The other way.

I mean, when people get out faster, figuring that you ain't gonna last that long. Well, with a car like your Dart, they figure you might ram them if they don't get out fast enough. I mean, it's pretty obvious that you take your time. So you try to rush someone, they slow down. I don't think they measured it right. They measured it from the time the person opened the door. They should have measured it from the time they got to the door. What about all the time you see

the woman standing there fishing around in the black hole that she calls a pocketbook trying to find the keys to the car. That's a half a minute right there maybe two three minutes. Could be. Yeah I would have counted from then. Well you have a chance to put in your own application. Maybe you too. Where's the NIH grant stuff? You can drive a $57,000 Infinity Q45, but they... Jaguar, we'll try with it. Someone ought to do a study that we can learn something from, don't you think? Well, you should find out if women are more attracted to guys in Miata's or RAV4's.

I mean, that's what most guys want to know. Yeah, that's true. Why are we wasting our time on this kind of Well, it's not wasting time because these guys published a paper in the very prestigious Journal of Applied Social Psychology and by publishing that paper Mr. Ruback or whatever his name is Is one step closer to tenure. Yes. One step closer to getting a job for the rest of his life where he will not have to ever do stupid research like this. Again.

He can't wait. That's what it's all about. I guess it is, I guess it is. Now if you wanna call us about your stupid question about your car or parking or exiting a parking spot or whatever, our number is 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk. I'm Sarah Adams from Streetsboro, Ohio. Hi Sarah, from where? Streetsboro, Ohio.

Sarah? Streetsboro. Yes. With an O? Just with an O, none of that English UGH stuff. Yeah, yeah. Streetsboro. Now you said that as though we should have heard of Streetsboro before. Well, it's nowhere between Cleveland and Akron. So you shouldn't have heard of it. You are really in the middle of nowhere. Really, we are. Oh, God. Yeah, it's bad when they have to name your city after a street. Is it though?

Yeah, it's pretty sad. Wow. So anyway. Okay, okay. Well What's up, Sarah? Well, I have a 96 Chevy Tile The question is where would a chicken hide on the exterior of the car on the other side of the street? Well, so you mean as you're driving along you can hear a chicken and we've got a lot of these calls i'm going to have a

that way because i've been that one time i chicken took quite a ride and i don't know where he's hiding and how did he get there and how do i know when i have her and when am i taking her to kill can we back up a little here i got the scenario sarah's parked the vehicle this is a good thing if we left the garage when it was dark. What garage? Our garage.

From your house. So, a chicken obviously puts herself to bed at night the night before. Yeah. Okay, so we left early when it's dark to go to the airport for my daughter's field trip. Yeah. Alright, it's February and it's cold. We hear nothing. We see nothing. Yeah. We get to the airport I'm

there an hour so at the airport when I come back to my car I see nothing I hear nothing but the light it's a light the Sun has come up yeah during which time normally a chicken gets up she gets herself up out of the barn okay so then I drive again 65 miles an hour, but I stop at church. I go into the church and within minutes people come in and say, Sarah, your chicken is in the parking lot. Oh, I think it's obvious. How does she do that?

I think your chicken just went to church. I think you're assuming that the chicken went to the airport with you, but the chicken probably just walked to church. No, not two miles. She never goes past the barn. Well, the chicken, if it really is your chicken. I mean, when you got home. Well, I knew it was because her comb froze a little bit.

It was so cold and it had grayed out a little bit before it fell off. Ah. So I knew it was Edna. Yeah, and she answered when you called her, right? I mean, Edna. Well, of course. And she looked at you. She was.

I mean, any chicken would. And immediately I suspected my my husband but he's totally innocent and we don't know where was he on the car and when will she do it again? Well I know where she was. I do too. She's under the hood. Yeah. But all the guys say she'd be sucked into the fan or the fan belt or whatever. No, no, no. What guys? What guys? Who says? Well we're landscapers and all the guys had quite a lot of discussion about where she would be. Well, guys that know everything. There was a lot of discussion and the guys said no way under the hood.

Well, under the hood of that Tahoe there are plenty of places for your chicken to roost. So to speak. 65 miles an hour? Well, once she's under there. She ain't gonna fly out once you're moving. I mean, you could go 200 miles an hour. Alright, so I have to check under the hood for Edna to see if she's still awake. Oh, I think there's no question that Edna is being attracted to the warmth under the hood.

Sure, you pulled into the garage in the evening, the engine was warm, she was cold, and she said, Oh, it's nice and warm under here, and she climbed up under something, who knows what, in the engine compartment there, and she's nestled down down and all of a sudden there you were driving away cats do this all the time maybe she may be sitting on the master cylinder or some such thing oh there are plenty of places for her to sit no kidding absolutely and and she wouldn't get sucked into the fan don't forget if she's on the downside of the wind the wind from the fan would tend to blow her against the firewall. She may be smushed against the firewall as you're going 65 miles an hour.

All right, so check under the hood if I'm suspicious, if the garage door has been left open. Exactly. Got it. She clearly needs a warmer place to stay. I mean, you're not providing enough... Well, she loves the barn. Now, we never got her.

She just showed up, you know. The SPCC is going to be there. She was looking for a fine home, and she loves the barn. Now, we never got her. She just showed up, you know. The SPCC is going to be here. She was looking for a fine home and she loves it here. Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Chickens. I was working on that. I knew you were with me on that. So... She greets the customers when they come in and struts around the parking lot and looks cool and escorts some people to the door.

How long have you been out of the home, Sarah? Is it just on weekends that they let you out? Do they let you out like every day or what? Daily, daily. It's a pleasure to talk to you, Sarah. Thanks, see you. Bye. Oh my God. 1-800-332-9287. Hello ya. Bye. See ya.

See ya. See ya. See ya. See ya. See ya. See ya. See ya. See ya.

See ya. See ya. See ya. See ya. See ya. See ya. See ya. See ya.

See ya. See ya. See ya. See ya. See ya. See ya. See ya. See ya. 79 VW van that likes to catch a fire on the left hand side of the van of the engine. Oh, yeah Did you buy this vehicle? No, no, no 79. I brought it for my stepdad, but but he's good about cars I knew I had a gasoline leak But it had been leaking gas for about two years on the right hand side never had any problems Uh-huh. I plugged it

You know the weather here was bad enough that the plug would come out So I finally spent the money to drop the engine Place the gas can well pulled it out put two nipples on it where they used to be one with a wide joint Feeding gasoline back to both sides of the engine good. Okay, I go he said herb You might need some some engine mounts in a while, but you'll get along with it had no problem The first time it burned somebody told me down the street. So Somebody your cars burning cars, but I got out put that out So get to them and they could not fire as long as they had it no problem. They ran herb no problem No problem, so it caught a fire again

Maybe when your father bought this car new did he get the excitement package? W has that you know because people have accused VW vehicles of being boring. But this is my third one, I love these. I think it was 79 that they introduced the excitement package, as a matter of fact. I don't know what it is. So what happened, is this a scenario you're driving along, somebody's behind you? Yes, totally, it was the first time. They see the flame shooting out of the...

Well, you can see it down low by the wheel at that point maybe we thought it was some debris from the manifold pipes that come back they uh the uh by uh replaced some of it or tried to patch it with the little foil like uh ductwork you know around the manifolds and holes back to the muffler system so we pulled some junk out maybe from weather we thought that was burning but the next time it was really on top of the engine. Did you attend the Mickey Mouse school of technology? But for two years I drove it with the gas can leaky no problem Fix the gas tech can't put it back in and then I've got fire in the hole Well, I think what's probably causing the fire is not gasoline uh-huh but oil. I think motor oil is leaking onto the onto the hot exhaust

and that's catching fire. See motor oil has is more likely to catch fire than gasoline strangely enough. Hard to believe isn't it? Hard to believe. Would the gasoline just have exploded the whole thing? No no it would evaporate. The gasoline doesn't stay around when it When gasoline hits a hot object like a manifold, it doesn't stay around long enough to reach what's called the ignition point. And the ignition point for gasoline and oil are both around 700 and something degrees. But the gasoline evaporates real fast. The oil stays there and it boils and bubbles and gets hotter and hotter and hotter and

hotter and hotter. Okay. And I think you're going to find it's an oil leak causing the problem. But I could be wrong. Okay, but only on that side. Only on that side. It's sort of topographical, you know, in the sense that it's there, but I don't see any, you know, it's not gushing out from any place. No, it wouldn't be gushing out from any place. Okay.

And it doesn't take much oil to start a fire. Gee whiz. I mean, I guess I would take it to the mechanic somehow if you can get it there and he's gonna just let it run and see what's going on in that side. Tell him not to go to lunch while he leaves it running. I keep a fire extinguisher in the car. Great, thank you. See you later. Good luck. Bye bye. Guess what? The puzzler answer and more calls are coming up right after this. This message comes from WISE, the app for doing things in other currencies.

Send, spend, or receive money internationally and always get the real-time mid-market exchange rate with no hidden fees. Download the WISE app today or visit wise.com, T's and C's apply. How much can one person change in four years? The answer comes down to who he puts in charge. Trump's Terms is a podcast where you can follow NPR's coverage of the people who will shape Donald Trump's first hundred days in office and what their goals are. We will track his cabinet picks, his political team,

his top military leaders to understand who they are, what they believe, and how they'll govern. Listen to Trump's terms from NPR. I'm Jesse Thorne. On Bullseye, Connie Chung, the legend of TV news, tells us about her incredible career and marvels at the convenience of standing desks. They have these desks here in New York that move up and down.

That's on the next Bullseye from MaximumFun.org and NPR. Arguments happen. And our body's automatic response to conflict doesn't always help. We may start to feel anxious or angry, making it even more difficult for us to see eye to eye. Over time that becomes contempt and contempt is a very destructive interpersonal process. Here how science can help us reframe and make the most of our conversations on the Okay, Tommy. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta tell me. You mean about the prisoner? Now, last week you made up this story about how all these years you were just pretending I was. to not remember the puzzler. I was. To boost my ego. That's right. But anyone

who knows you, especially me, knows that that's a lot of baloney. No, no. I have always remembered the puzzler because I truly do have a magnificent memory. What was your name again? And I remember this puzzler. You may remember this one, you may remember the last weeks and the one before that, but for 18 years, you bumbled along without any idea, without a clue, and all of a sudden you had this reawakening. I put my mind to it. I realized that it was important for me to build up my self-esteem because I noticed that my self-esteem was

dripping lower and lower. Drooping. Lower and lower and I needed something to perk myself up. You did. And I think... What about me? I mean you've lowered mine now. I mean I have nothing to perk myself up. You did. And I think I think. Well what about me? I mean you've lowered mine now. I mean I have nothing to gloat about anymore. Now we're even. All right. Now we're back on level ground.

Level playing field. All right here's the puzzle. Okay and now get this. Starting now, I'm also gonna start giving answers to automotive questions. This I wanna see. This I want to see. This I want to see. All right.

All right. We'll see, huh? All right. Here's the puzzler. I know the puzzler. Well, nobody else remembers it. In 1918, a man was arrested for a crime and sentenced to life in prison.

30 years later, with the help of a friend, they concocted an escape plan. And very simply, the friend was to leave a, they concocted an escape plan. And very simply, the friend was to leave a getaway car in a field near the prison. The guy is going to dig a tunnel or climb the wall, bribe a guard. I don't know what he's going to do. Anyway, the escape goes like clockwork. The convict finds the getaway car just where his friend said it would be, and all he has

to do is get in the car and drive away But he can't start the car. There's nothing wrong with the car and by the time he figures it out They're what? bottom putting the cuffs on him with the dogs and then a bit and making plans to I got the answer to this one, too. His friend forgot to leave the key because he was afraid Someone would steal the car Well, it was a bad neighborhood We know that already The prisons there it must be a bad neighborhood. Yeah. No his friend left the key and that is in fact

That's the problem. Yeah when he went to jail cars didn't have electric starters cars had cranks He gets there. he finds the car, he's not looking for a key. He's looking for the crank. The crank, and he's trying to figure out, where do I crank up the car? Because in the intervening 30 years, they had made this wonderful advancement

in automotive technology that allowed people to get in and turn a key and step on a starter switch. And he didn't know about this, and while he's fidgeting around and futzing around, trying to figure out how to get the getaway car going they slapped the car on me. The gods come. Back he goes man. I'll win it this week.

Oh, Carolyn Greenwood from Knoxville, Tennessee who sent us her answer, get this, via cartalk.msn.com. Get out. How about that? sent us her answer via cartalk.msn.com. Get out. How about that? And for having her correct answer chosen at random from among the thousands, if not four, correct answers that we got, our pal Carolyn has won herself a free copy of the second best of Car Talk. Carolyn, you would have won the two bedroom beachfront condo in Waikiki, but my brother

took that prize so tough. I didn't think she wanted it. She wouldn't want it. She'd rather have the CD and that's what she's getting. Anyway we have another puzzler. I didn't say a new one because it isn't a new one. It's an old one. We are revisiting. Repurposing? Not repurposing, revisiting because I've had many queries about this particular puzzler. Oh, I bet I know which one it is. And we'll be using that puzzler during the second half of Car Talk today. In the meantime, we'll take your car questions at 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk.

Hello. Hello. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Geez, come on. Tucky, don't you screen these calls. I told you never to put her through again. And for those of you that don't recognize this voice, it's the voice of our darling

mother Elizabeth. Who wants you to live a little longer. Why? A little longer than what? I don't know. Give me aggravation. Alright, I can tell you that I got my t-shirt on today. See?

Alright. My brother's got his. Oh yeah. He, yeah, what on to we're wearing our t-shirt We're not smoking any cigars. They won't let us smoke in the studio. We haven't smoked a cigar for two years now I don't believe what was the third thing even my little Yeah, I know oh yeah, she has our kids destroying our cigars You know you don't have to take care of us anymore. What do you mean I don't have to take care of you? You're doing the same thing. We're adults now, we're adults. We can handle it now.

We're responsible citizens. Smoking cigars? Well, yeah, what's wrong with that? Going without an undershirt? Oh. We are right about the undershirt thing. You're giving me aggravation. I know, but we don't mean to. We love you dearly.

No, you don't. If you loved me, you wouldn't smoke those stinky cigars. Alright, forget about the cigars. We had a call that you probably didn't hear. From a woman who, the problem was her relationship with her daughter. And I said that I thought the mother-daughter relationship was one of the most complex relationships in the world and I have only a vague recollection of your relationship with my dear sister. Oh we get along fine. Well you do now. We always did. Oh no I don't remember that. Come on, you threw her clothes out in the street. You call that getting along fine?

My sister, she's a wonderful person, my sister, but she had this habit. She was a slob. She would put on an outfit and say, no, I don't feel like wearing this. She would take it off and take the clothes, which my mother had spent hours washing and ironing, and she would throw them under her bed and take out a new outfit. When she was in college.

So she would take, every morning, she'd have to try on two or three outfits. My mother one day is dusting, and she looks under the bed and finds all these clothes. Her entire wardrobe. Which she had spent hours washing and drying and ironing. And starchy. At the river with the stones.

At the river with the stones. And there they were all crumpled up under the bed. Well, Mom had what we should call a nervy. A nutty. Oh, she went nuts, screamed and yelled at my sister, took all the clothes. Russell, see, I wasn't home at this time. Opened the window and threw them out onto the street.

No, on the lawn. What lawn? We didn't have any lawn? Yes, we did. All right, the bricks. Yeah. You, I was there. You call that getting along?

So you're washing my linen on the air. He was, I mean. You're washing our linen on the air Well the truth must be known we were firm believers in telling the truth all the family We tell it all about your drinking problem your incarceration and everything else. I mean after all Don't bother dad for a while. Will you he speaks in the window here? Yes, all right? Where am I asked if he likes those cigars we got? Go bother dad for a while, will ya? He's fixing the window here. He is? Alright. Go bother him. Ask him if he likes those cigars we got for him. Ask him if he's wearing his t-shirt. No more cigars.

No more cigars. Absolutely not. You're gonna hear from me until I die. Alright, alright. Unless you get rid of those cigars. Okay already. Jesus. What a broken record.

Can't take it anymore. And screen these calls, will you please? This should do it. This should do it. And if you don't get rid of those cigars, I will keep calling you. Oh, I'm right with the cigars already. Bye. I'll call you another time. Oh yeah, we know. You better disguise your voice because you're not getting through it any longer.

I'm putting voice recognition on my phone. I'll call you another time. Oh yeah, we know. Yeah, sure. You better disguise your voice, because you're not getting through it any longer. I'm putting voice recognition on my phone. Just be good boys. Okay, we will. Okay. You're late. Bye. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Anyone want to buy a box of cigars? Buy a box of t-shirts. I'm emotionally drained. I don't think I can go on. See what it does to me? It just wears you down. It does. Oh. She calls me on the phone and I just sink deeper and deeper in my care. But the time she's had her way with me, I'm done for. No, she will not give up. You talk about perseverance.

Oh, it's like a pebble in your shoe. Oh, God. We'll be right back with more calls and the new puzzler after these messages. Okay, so does this sound like you? You love NPR's podcasts, you wish you could get more of all your favorite shows, and you want to support NPR's mission to create a more informed public.

If all that sounds appealing, then it is time to sign up for the NPR Plus bundle. Learn more at plus.npr.org. This week on our podcast, Here and Now Anytime, have you had a frustrating conversation about politics with someone you disagree with lately? Most Americans have, according to a Pew survey from before the election, so I'm going to guess that number has only gone up. We're kicking off a series on finding common ground called Conversations Across the Divide. Listen now on Here and Now Anytime wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, we're back.

You're listening to Car Talk on National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers, and we're here to discuss cars, of course, car repair, and a harrowing tale. A harrowing tale. Here it is. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Yorkshire, UK. Police were jolted from their routine of traffic radar when they apparently began clocking a speeder

at 300 miles an hour. It proved to be no malfunction as a low-flying jet screamed overhead a few seconds later. Wow. When police officials registered a complaint with the Ministry of Defense about their damaged equipment, the MOD, Ministry of Defense, only replied

that the damage could have been far worse. Of course. It seems that the jet's defense system had locked onto the radar and had gone into an automatic preemptive strike mode, which included locking its missile guidance system onto the radar target. The pilot decided that enemy aircraft activity was unlikely along the motorway. Oh boy, oh, you talk about waking up somebody.

So he fortunately overrode the system. He overrode the system. Now that is a harrowing tale, I thought. Don't you? Yeah. Would you? Yeah. Don't you?

Yeah. Yeah. Woo. What is a harrow anyway? I don't know. Okay, look, it's time for the new puzzler, but it's not a new puzzler, it's an old puzzler. And yeah, many, many times in the last several months,

people have asked me where the expression our fair city comes from. Yes, indeed. And I told people that it comes from a puzzler of yesteryear, and I felt it appropriate to repurpose that puzzler for today's show. Yeah, good. And if I can remember, because I had it written down once, but I'm going to try to remember

it and you'll have to help me along. I think- Because now that your memory has been restored- Oh, it has. You'll be able to assist me. Here it is. A well-dressed gentleman enters a bank, approaches a tell, and begins to tell his tale of woe. He says, pardon me, madam, I hope you can help me. You see, I'm an English professor

at Northwestern University, and I am a visitor to your fair city. Your fair city, there it is. And I find myself in need of someone's help. I hear visiting your Fair City with my wife and my two daughters. And I have no money with me because what has happened is my wife and my oldest daughter have gone out shopping this morning and taken my wallet, which contained my cash and credit cards.

And ID. And identification of course, yes. And left me alone with the other daughter who has and credit cards. And ID. And identification of course, yes. And left me alone with the other daughter who has taken ill and I must buy her some medication, but I have no money. And if you would be kind enough to cash a check for me for $50, that would be a great help to me and my daughter.

Yes. Teller looks at him up and down. He's well dressed, distinguished looking, obviously quite articulate. Yeah. Little bit of a British accent. Little bit of a British accent, an English professor from Northwestern University.

Pedantic and pretentious. Pedantic, pretentious. Snob. Everything you'd expect a college professor to be. Yeah. And he's wearing an Ascot, of course. Yeah.

Where did he get his Ascot? Anyway, the Teller looks at him and says, I won't be able to help you, sir, because you are a fraud and a liar. Oof. And he says, pardon me. But she was absolutely correct. What was it?

And you know everything you need to know from this little narrative to solve this puzzler. Yeah, this is good. This is good. It is good. It is. It's one of the better ones. It is.

If you think you know the answer, send it to us at Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3500, Harvard Square, Cambridge. Our fair city. Our fair city indeed. Our fair city. Ma 02238, or you can email us your answer from cartalk.msn.com by clicking on the Talk to Car Talk section. Now, if you'd like to call us with a question about your car it could be more fun than what we just did I think we just do a whole show of puzzles yeah we had another good one our

numbers 1-800-332-9287 hello you're on car talk well hello What is this, Family Day here? Well, as the middle child, I thought it might be good to speak up. Before we let this maniac continue, this is none other than our darling sister. Yeah, the evil sister Cruella, who has been locked up in the basement. And who is responsible for making our mother so mean to us. But go ahead. No, wait a minute. You were there the day she threw your clothes in the street, right? Well, I wasn't there, but when I came home I noticed that my room was clean.

The reason my room was clean. clean had a lot no my clothes out the window now i thought well that i i i really don't know i never even went down to pick them up to show what you care you don't have to buy the clothes you didn't have to wash them enough to hire them and start them to show up that i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i a great i want oblivious but i have since turned into a wonderful person and notice

when when when and when was your epiphany and he wanted to stop being the slob was it when she untied you you know when i think that i had pile you can't get it i had piles of you should excuse the expression, I had piles of this and piles of that and piles of everything, but this wasn't until just about four or five years ago.

Really? But you know what the truth really is? I had more fun when I was a slob. You were more fun then. Yeah, I was. You're kind of a stiff now. It's true. Quite honestly, we really don't enjoy having you with family gatherings anymore.

Okay, so I will turn over a new leaflet and I will now become what I once was. Your mother claims now to have a wonderful relationship with you. You get a comment on that statement? Well… I mean, would you like to verify that statement? Do you believe well true only because one she's army shakeout a rug and my whole life she could play

kept coming up yet look at her shaking out the rug all right i don't think i'm going to lose her and i don't think it was go around singing all the time all the time but one day she's army maybe 15 years ago, shaking out a rug, and everything turned around like magic.

Well, you never can know what is going to make your parent proud of you. That's true. That's true. It's very strange. It's interesting. But now it's all turned around, and I'm a neat... Boring, poor person. ...poor person.

Yeah, so we want you to go back to being a slob. You're a lot more fun then. I will turn over a new leaflet and I will just throw all the papers around and all the music around and... Alright, we can't wait. I'll work on that. Because you've been... we didn't want to tell it to you delicately. You've been a stiff. And we've chosen this private moment to tell you.

I've been too neat for too long. Too neat for too long, yeah. And that's it. I'm now going to be my real self. There's a song in there. Start working on it. I'm sure she's going to. See you, Luba.

Okay, nice talking to you guys. Oh yeah, real nice. Hang up. Bye. So long, Luba. While you've wasted an otherwise perfectly good hour listening to Car Talk, our esteemed producer is Doug the Subway Fugitive, not a slave to fashion Berman. Our associate producer and dean of the College of Automusicology is

Ken Babyface Rogers. Our assistant producer is Catherine Cathode Ray. Our engineer is Karen Given. We never say anything bad about Karen, just our engineer is Karen Given. I mean- Karen, keep him rolling, Given. given. I mean Karen keep them rolling given. And our technical, spiritual and menu advisor is Mr. John Bugsy, free lunch lawler. Where is he? He said he'd be here today but obviously the burgers were calling. The Stump the Chumps theme is by BJ Liederman. Our public opinion pollster is Paul Murky of Murky Research, assisted by statistician Marge Inovera. Our director of new product repair is Warranty My Foot. Our director of staff pay increases is Xavier Breth.

Our staff butler from the Car Talk Wombe Division is Mahatma Kot. Our document security expert from the island of Jamaica is Euripides Upman. Our director of upward mobility in Eastern Europe is Zbigniew Kreisler. Our Revasive Driving Instructor is Vera Rupley. Our Marriage Counselor is Marion Haste. Our Head of Used Car Purchasing is Lil B. Hoevenet. Our Behavior Consultant is Wyatt P. Hoovesier. The Chairman of the Federal Lubrication Board is Alan Griespan. Our Head of Auto Theft Deterrence is Heather Lockreer. The Manager of our weekly shrimp buffet is Sheldon Devane and the curator of Tom's Car Collection, of course, Rex Galore.

And our chief counsel from the locker room of Julie Cheatham and Howes, Hugh Louis Dewey, known on the benches of Harvard Square as Huey Louie Dewey, thanks so much for listening. We're Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers. And remember, don't drive like Tommy. And don't even drive like my sister. That's what we should be saying. Oh yeah, wooey sister. She's bad. We'll be back next week. Bye bye. And now, with an important announcement, here is Card Talk Plaza's chief mechanic, Vinnie

Gumbaz. Hey, now, if you was just looking for tapes of this year's show, which happens to be number 21, you can get one by clicking on the shameless commerce division of Cartalk.msn.com or by calling 303-823-8000. Now you can get the best of Cartalk and other Cartalk junk the same way to Cartalk.msn.com or by calling 303-823-8000.

You gonna finish that sandwich? Car Talk is a production of Do We Cheat Chudabin, Howe, and WBUR in Boston. And even though dogs hide under the sofa when they hear us say it, this is NPR National Public Radio.