The Best of Car Talk - #2497: The Secret Male Handshake

Episode Date: December 3, 2024

When Pam went to pick up her car at the dealership the guys at the service counter seemed to leap to her husband's defense when she suggested that he had wrecked her car. Is there a secret society of men and cars? Find out on this episode of the Best of Car Talk Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

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It's a tax-deductible donation that helps make the world a more curious place. That's right, enjoy sponsor-free listening and access to the best of Car Talk archives. Join us at plus.npr.org. Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the Cartography Division here at Car Talk Plaza. I'm not sure that's the right name. Well, for lack of a better name. But whatever.

That's what it is. Someone named Gregory Engel sent us state mottos for license plates. He's not the real ones Oh, I think so I'll just read you the few that I thought were especially interesting Alabama literacy ain't everything Illinois Gateway to Iowa that That's exciting. Montana, my buddies, land of the big sky and very little else. Here's Doug's favorite. North Carolina, five million people,

15 last names. And my personal favorite, New Jersey, on the license plate it says, you have the right to remain silent, you have the right to an attorney. This is according to Gregory Engel, not me. Right, we didn't author these, we're just reading them. And Colorado was too wimpy to cross the mountain, so we stopped here. But I mean, you have to make fun of people, right? I mean, there's no humor if you don't make fun of people. That's right. That's what it's all about. And it's always best if you make fun of people that can't make fun back.

Yeah, especially if they're far away. It's good. If you want to call us about your car or your state model or anything like that, our number is 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk. This is Val from Phoenix As. Say it again. Val from Phoenix As. Val! Oh, Phoenix As!

Right. I got it. I used to be from Haverhill Ma. Really? Haverhill Ma? Right. Are you a snowbird of some kind? Oh, no, no, no, no. I moved out west a long time ago after school.

Ah. Like, wait, wait, at, no. I moved out west a long time ago after school. Ah. Like, wait, wait, at 3 o'clock one afternoon? No, I couldn't get a job of it back east, so I ended up moving to San Francisco. Oh, really? Yes. And then they didn't want you and they shipped you out to Phoenix? Something along those lines. What kind of work did you do?

I'm a water resources engineer. Good place to be, some place where they don't have any water. That's exactly right. Right, so it is a resource. Yes. Yeah, and is water resource engineering the kind of career where your skills would be transportable, transferable to other kinds of work? Not really. Probably not. No. work not really probably not now yeah well not only what you want to know what's going on transporting

liquids transporting one of the people working a brewery transporting and storing so breweries one or a refinery for a refinery oil transportation treatment plan treatment excellent you know well for shooting plant i was worked on both before to get it actually that is right there in the line and you could be a pool man a pool uh... you know i have a pool of a matter of fact but i hire someone to do it

well when you lose your job you'll be doing your own the neighbors as well anyway val what's up yeah well i've got a nineteen eighty seven astro van ever since i bought a brand new it's gone into the dealer every three thousand miles whether need or not

uh... kept it up maintained at the whole nine yards it's uh... i i don't know if i thought it's got a hundred five thousand miles on it so i went in a couple weeks ago they said uh... the differential should be serviced i said well we'll go a couple weeks he goes oh yeah i won't go to new york but you should go for another two or three weeks

i thought i thought but if it's not to whining bring it right in so that i'm going to provide you know at the end of the day just want to get out of there if i did and so now i'm gonna bring it back in to have it the differential service but i'm going to help one what is the differential it's it's good you have to question these

question we just don't have to i really have one that and who i got the impression that the piaf fifty or sixty don't go up to the surface of differential but we've heard that it starts whining bring it in immediately i'm set up one of my in-force if it starts whining bring it in immediately I'm saying what am I in for if it starts whining? Well, yeah

Well, I mean if it isn't whining now the likelihood of it whining in the couple of weeks within the couple of weeks when you Don't get the service done. It's so Miniscule okay as to be almost zero It's not like they could open it up and say it was getting ready to whine. It was getting ready to whine No, you're three minutes late. Well, they like they could open it up and say it was getting ready to whine. It was getting ready to whine and you're here three minutes late. Well, they could. I'll give you a very brief description of what the differential is. It's that device in the rear of your car, colloquially known as the rear end, which

has in it six gears. And two of those gears are responsible for changing the motion of the drive shaft. And all of you people with front-wheel drive cars, don't shut off your ears because you got one of these too. It's just in the front. Okay. And it changes the motion of the drive shaft into, it makes it turn a corner so that your wheels can turn in the direction they're supposed to turn. Oh, okay. I thought that was the usual. Differential speed. And it also allows the wheels to turn at different speeds. For example, when you make a left or a right hand turn, the outside wheel has to turn faster than the inside wheel. Oh, okay.

Okay, and this differential, these four gears in there called the spider gears, allow that to happen by slowing down one gear and speeding up the other wheel by the same amount. Okay. You got it? Yep. So basically you've got six gears and very thick oil in there, like 90 weight gear oil, which is very viscous stuff.

And there's a seal which prevents the stuff from leaking out. And they may have noticed that the seal is leaking, or they may have noticed that the stuff is old and dirty. Or they may have noticed that you have 100,000 miles on the vehicle. Or they may have noticed that they've run out of things to do because you bring it in so often and they have to come up with something clever. What else can we do now? Well we've never serviced a differential. And the differential should be serviced once in a while. I don't know

what General Motors requires but certainly not any more than every 60,000 miles I would imagine. I mean the service doesn't consist of anything, hardly. Well what do they do? They're gonna drain the fluid out and put new fluid in. That's it. Yeah, that's about it. There's not much else to do. And what if it's whining, what does that mean? It simply means that the gears are worn out and when they mesh, they mesh in such a way that they make noise. They make music. It's very interesting actually. You get this kind of a sound. And I take it that's Big Bucks. If you want to fix it.

It is big bucks and it isn't because you can drive forever as long as the noise doesn't make you nuts. So the thing is just bring it in. Bring it in whenever you feel like it. Don't let them tell you when to bring it in. You say I'll bring it in when I feel good and ready to bring it in. I would hope however if they noticed that the pinion seal were leaking that they could have, they would have at least checked the fluid level to make sure it was full

Now before they sent you off so if there is a leak they should have at least checked topped it up Well, there's only would there be you know something on the ground no Very unlikely there might be a drop here or there which you know would never never notice it. See you Val Thanks a lot. Bye bye This is Heather from Arcata California Heather uh-huh H-E-A-T-H-E-R Arcata uh-huh where's Arcata Arcada is in Humboldt County which is about five hours north of San Francisco yeah yeah oh yeah anyway I have an 84 Volvo diesel wagon that I love and I guess it was Volvo diesel wagon that I love.

Really? And I guess it was a few months ago I took it to the mechanic because my glove compartment was stuck. And the mechanic that I took it to was named, well, I don't want to tell you his name, but he owns a very high-end German motors place in town. And I was told it was the only place

to bring a diesel Volvo. Georg? Georg? Georg, close. Sandor? I like Hans. Hans. Oh, that's very close. Hans. while the only gay or and they are here the case uh... sunda uh... i like haunts how does that make a because helmets

that's how much i would like to know of course haven't that i don't know what german names and you've got to do is exhaust of the moment and well i'll be that way anyway i thought i would take a lot of in my car i think it and i think how that i got the parliament that

and three weeks later and three thousand dollars later i got my car uh... but i don't come back we did a lot more and one of the thing he did with the fuel injection and pretty much but you're pretty cool and um... you can make later i was driving up to the or get to or again to go to a wedding in seattle we thought that

timeline logic to on that uh... my boyfriend rick and i driving up the hill and it exactly forty five hundred feet the car died completely stopped i know it forty five hundred feet because i had a topographical map in front of me because we're planning on going to mount it yeah we didn't know what's going on we had to call it a tracking get it back to a topographical map in front of me because we're planning on going to mount hut we didn't know what's going on we had to call a truck and get it back to portland which was a hundred fifty dollars we get back to portland and then they're in the car get on the truck it just start up no problem and i've had

that for a living i'd be backpacking trip so i drive up to high elevations pretty often in the summertime you have done that with this car? Many, many times, previous to having it worked on. And a few weeks later I left to lead a backpacking trip and I was about a day behind the group, meaning the rest of the group was already on the trail. So I was rushing as fast as I could and I was way up on this trail access road and at exactly 4500 feet the car stopped again and died. Oh! Rick meanwhile was at a Joan bayard concert and couldn't help

so that's a we get in his track we go back out to get the car we roll it about five hundred feet down the hill and it starts right up and i think i got well i think it back in the canning and he still can't find anything wrong with it and i'm convinced it's an elevation problem everybody told me i'm crazy but i know in my heart all this is an elevation problem. Oh, no, they are wrong. Heather, I'm not laughing. I'm not laughing. No, in fact, we're crying.

We're not laughing, Heather. So what is it? Oh, we don't know what it is, but we do know it is related to elevation. We know we agree with you. We just don't know why. Do you? What would it be? I mean, my first suspicion is, I think you alluded to the fact that Helmut rebuilt the fuel injector pump. He did. That is the pump which not only sucks the fuel out of the tank, but pumps it to the

injectors at like 2000 PSI. Okay. Either he did something wrong. We're trying to figure out what that is. Or there's a break in the fuel line someplace that's the thing to start sucking air but if it's something that helmet did okay here's the moral part of the question nothing that helmet did then how do i get the i mean do i hold him responsible for the money that i spent of course you know in portland and

have a little responsible for all for everything so he completely responsible totally responsible for all of those, including the day of work that Rick had to take off. Including the day of work, of course. Oh, you can single-handedly be responsible for bankrupting this guy. And don't forget, three meals a day, hotel lodging, everything. Well, he's a very nice man. I'm certain that he'll comply. And the question I have to ask, why did he rebuild the fuel injector pump in the first

place? I don't know. When you went in to have the glove box open. Well apparently. What was wrong with the car? Please open my glove box. The guy charges you $3,000 by putting in a whole new fuel system. Well actually though, what happened was I pulled in with a broken glove compartment to

another mechanic and the other mechanic thought that he smelled diesel and he starts screaming and running for the phone and says it's leaking diesel and the only one that can take this is helmet, like helmet was some sort of demigod. Oh, oh. So that's why I took it to helmet. Helmet is the diesel. Well I don't know how, you know on the spot like this it's very hard to come up with an answer unless we know the question in advance.

It's something that we've seen and we don't know the questions in advance unfortunately and It's something that we've seen. And we don't know the questions in advance, unfortunately. And it's something I haven't seen. However, my intuition tells me that the atmospheric pressure is absolutely related to it, number one. And number two, you have a leaky fuel line someplace. If that test is negative, then it's going to be, he did a faulty job on the injector pump. Okay. And then he's responsible for the hotel

and dinner in Portland. Hotel, dinner. And private school for your kids whenever that should arise. The whole thing, yeah. No, you're not gonna get him to be responsible for anything. At best, he's gonna be responsible for fixing what he did wrong, but he's not responsible

for all the other stuff. But if you can simply get him to admit that he did anything wrong, that would be a tremendous victory on your part. Right, of course. And hope that Helmut will deign to look at you again. I mean, it may be that he doesn't see people more than once. I think I probably ate my chances of that ever happening again, assuming that he or

someone he knows is listening to this show. Well it was your fault for using his real name. If I said helmet you could have said no. You guessed his real name I never said his name. We were going to stick with Hunts. Hunts was good Sandor was good. Now as far as Volvo diesels are concerned are they good cars? I mean can I count on it putting a lot of miles on it?

Oh yeah these are great especially at high altitudes. Yeah they use these in airplanes. Good luck Heather you may be on Stump the Chumps call us back. Great thank you so much. And if Helmut needs any help Helmut will call us. I will. See ya. Bye Heather. Hey don't go anywhere because we've got a lot more calls well few anyway and the puzzler answer coming up right after this. This message comes from Wyse, the app for doing things in other currencies. Send, spend, or receive money internationally and always get the real-time mid-market exchange rate with no hidden fees. Download the Wyse app today or visit wyze.com, T's and C's apply.

Hi, it's Mariel Cigarra from Life.Kid. There's a first time for everything, including giving to NPR. Whether you're a brand new listener or a long time fan, please join the community of NPR network supporters today. Make your gift at donate.npr.org and thank you. From the online trends that dominated 2024, on the spectrum of Brat 2 de Muir, where are you right now? To spicy TikTok viral reads, these romance fantasy books about dragons,

NPR kept you up to speed on pop culture all year long. Give back to the news source that just hits different by donating today at donate.npr.org, and thank you. On the embedded podcast from NPR, what is it like to live under years of state surveillance? So many people have fear, fear of losing their families. For years, the Chinese government has been detaining hundreds of thousands of ethnic Uyghurs. This is the story of one family torn apart.

Listen to The Black Gate on the embedded podcast from NPR. Okay, look, it's time to answer last week's puzzler, and I know you remember it. Well, I do. So I won't even ask. It's getting so darn boring. It's getting so darn boring, the one with the short. I mean, I'm getting so sick of this. It was much more fun when I didn't remember. If only I could forget.

If only I could lose a few of these brain cells, but they're a plague to me. They're a plague. All right. Here it is. I'll make it brief brief if possible. A customer came in a few months ago, second one this year. Anyway, she was complaining about a short circuit. She said that a fuse was blowing repeatedly. It was the fuse that ran, I think, the tail lights and the dash lights and the courtesy lights and whatever. Anyway, she put a new fuse in and sometimes within five minutes it would blow, sometimes

an hour later. It was completely random. So I assigned this task to Manny, and he's a young guy who works for us, and I say, look, get the short tester out of my toolbox and hook the thing up. And basically the short tester is two pieces. It's a circuit breaker that resets itself, which you put in place of the fuse that blows, and it's an ammeter, a very sensitive little ammeter. You got the scenario?

So that you're really putting a fuse in and the fuse is in fact blowing, but it just resets itself. It just resets itself. So you don't have to keep putting these very expensive 20 cent fuses in. Exactly. It just keeps, it stays there so you can keep walking around looking for the short. And it's preferable to putting in a penny, which has been known to set more than a few cars on fire.

Yes. Anyway, so I give him a couple of minutes to do this and I go and I check up on him and I ask him how he's doing. And he says, well, I know where the short is, but I didn't have to use the meter. Oof. I said, oh, you smell something burning? He said, no, there's something on her dashboard

that's telling me where the short is. It's nearby, it's near the dashboard, it's in the dash. And it's something that's sitting on her dashboard that's telling me where the short is. It's nearby, near the dashboard, it's in the dash. And it's something that's sitting on her dashboard. That's telling me this. Yeah. I got this one right away. You know, you did. And the hint I gave is that she's going on a camping trip.

She's got one of them there compasses sitting on her. She's got a compass. Yeah. Because what's happening in the vicinity of the short, you're creating an electromagnetic field, you're creating magnetism and that magnetism would affect the sensitive little ammeter, which is nothing more than a little. Compass. an electromagnetic field, you're creating magnetism, and that magnetism would affect the sensitive little ammeter, which is nothing more than a little compass. And it's instead affecting her compass, and her compass was just spinning wildly every

time the circuit breaker blew. So he air-chizzled the dashboard open, and he found the shorted wire. Pretty good, huh? That is pretty good. Well, it wasn't that good, you got it. I got it. Who's our winner? The winner here, just a minute, is Jennifer Parton from Tucson, Arizona,

and for having her correct answer chosen, as we know, at random, from among the thousands of correct answers that we received, our pal Jennifer is gonna win herself a free copy of the second best of car talk. All we ask Jennifer is that you please dispose of this CD properly. Do not throw it into the street. Plastic is not biodegradable. If you get this and you scream, just make sure you take it down to your local recycling center.

Right. Dispose of it in an environmentally conscientious way. That's all we ask. Anyway, we have a new puzz coming up during the second half. But whatever you do, don't mail it back to us. Unless it's accompanied by a dead fish. We have a new puzzle coming up during the second half of Car Talk. In the meantime, we'll take your questions at 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk.

My name is Tim Cohn and I'm from Albuquerque, New Mexico. Hi, Tim. So what's up, man? I was just hoping you guys could help us solve a little discussion my wife and I were having. Tell my husband he's wrong. My wife is here with me. What's your name wife? Pam. Pam. Yeah okay this discussion would be like in quotes right? Yeah okay I've had some of them just the other day well as you know Pam we will speak the truth of course I had Tim you tell the story so we know the truth and if we don't we'll make

something up okay okay go ahead we have a ninety three saturn and so one and uh... and i drive up a monster pick up a button negative eighty seven miles of pickup i had borrowed the saturn and you normally drive the mazda but you borrowed what is evidently your wife's saturn yeah

well be this came to be because we took it into the dealer to get something done on the on the uh... which you like someone had turned them on when they were frozen to the windshield got it and so pam pam had done that okay we got it so we can get the dealer to get to get the uh... the way to our system they went over the whole car and they

said we had a crushed engine mount and i was wondering what causes a crash engine out? No no see this isn't fair you should hear this story of how possibly the engine mount got crushed to determine if that's how it got crushed. Pam we can tell that we'd rather talk to you. Thank you. You're on the floor. We call Pam Cohn as a witness here. Pam, we'd like your version of this story. All right, several months before we took to the Saturn dealership, we went target shooting out in the open spaces near Albuquerque. So he said, oh, it'll be no problem. We'll take the Saturn on this washboard road.

So he and a friend and I were driving on this road, and he to pick up speed and we're going about 40 miles an hour and the car is just shaking I mean there starts to be this hum like the the windshields gonna like I mean, that's how and you're bouncing up and down your teeth are shaking in your head and I'm saying Tim Tim slow down Finally he slows down and he looked at me and if i have just taken away his favorite toy well the day for he left out the beginning of the story and he doesn't know what he doesn't agree that it was the beginning of the story exactly yeah i'm ticket to the dealership for my minor faux pas they had run from

diagnostic junk on it i don't know why but they did and they told me how we replaced it and i can't right i think could that be from driving on washboard road and they said oh did you drive on a westward and i think no my fiance job on a westward and they looked at each other like this the secret mail handshake and i think it's a all no the secret mail handshake kind of thing and said, oh, no, I couldn't do that. You can't believe anybody. So as intelligent man as you are, and I've listened to your show.

And honest. And honest. That's right. And humble. And humble. And intelligent. That's right. And I've seen you on 60 Minutes, and very attractive,

I may say. And very attractive. That's right. So I know that you will help him see the very attractive i mean and very attractive that's right so i know that you will help him see their of his way to tell him wrong okay interactive part again attractive intelligent for the other agents in your head of prayer here

well i was thinking you know it could have just crushed because maybe a high wind went through the car? Well, I mean, I'd have to say that this is clearly one of those cases where we cannot absolutely lay the blame anywhere. Ah, see. I mean, there is certainly a chance that an engine mount could get crushed if you're bouncing around on a washboard road. But to say that that's what happened that day? Boy that's gonna be tough to do. Well I will say that we have seen a few

Saturns in the shop that have needed engine mounts and there are certainly no washboard roads where we are. There'shuh. At least not very many of them. But the washboard road doesn't help the rest of the car. So even though he may not be culpable in this particular instance, he's definitely... Tim, you still there? Yeah, still here. I think Tim is guilty of wrecking your car, Pam. Yeah. I mean, it was unconscionable to take someone else's car and drive it at 40 or 50 miles an hour on a washboard road

That wasn't nice Timmy, baby. That's that's wrecking the shock absorbers. It's wrecking the ball joints It's it's doing the job on all the suspension bushings. It's loosening the exhaust system It's convinced me that was good for the car I think just a penance for him He tried to convince me that was good for the car. Crush it. Oh yeah, to loosen everything up. Keep all that stuff moving. Could you suggest a penance for him? A penance? Oh, a penance. Geez, Pam, you have a mean streak, I think.

Hey, he knew that and he married me anyway. Ah, geez, a penance, huh? What would you suggest? What would be appropriate? Washing clothes for a month. Oh, who? Wash the clothes for a month. Washing the laundry for a month? Oh, who? Wash the clothes for a month? Washing the laundry for a month?

That's a lot! How about a week? Oh... Come on, give the guy a... No, no, no, no. What do you mean? First of all, he should be doing it six months out of the year. Yeah!

Already! That's right! Uh-uh. We just got married in November. I haven't quite broken him in yet. I'll be in trouble now. Yeah. Wait a minute now. Don't forget, whatever you'd say about Tim. That just struck me just now. I just wanted married in November. I haven't quite broken him in yet. We're in trouble now. Yeah.

Wait a minute now. Don't forget, whatever you'd say about Tim. That just struck me just now. It just dawned on me that what's good for the ghosts is good for the gander. Let's be very, very careful what our position is here. Even though our wives never listen to our show. People call them up and tell them what we say. So we have to be very, very careful. I'd say a day would be good. Folding. Yeah, one load and fold it.

Okay. Alright. Alright, thank you guys. Behave yourself Tim. And don't get us in trouble anymore. Okay. See? Bye. Bye. Yeah, you. Okay. See? Bye.

Bye-bye. Yeah, you're right. Whatever we suggested. That was dangerous. We were treading on dangerous ground there. That was a little trap set by Pam. Over us. Probably paid off by your wife.

No more likely yours. We'll be right back with more calls and the new puzzler after these messages. Oh my goodness, if I could get a reindeer that would be nice. I'm Jesse Thorn, celebrate the season with me and certified reindeer lover Jennifer Hudson on the Bullseye Holiday Special. Plus, we'll hear from Tower of Power's Zach Cherry and Judy Greer on the Bullseye podcast from MaximumFun.org and NPR. Have you ever been on a date with someone and suddenly found yourself disgusted by something

they did? Well, you might have gotten the ick. On It's Been a Minute, we're asking the big questions about dating. Like what's actually happening when we get the ick? And is it about them or about you? To find out, listen now to the It's Been A Minute podcast from NPR. What are the best albums of 2024? Find out on the latest episode of NPR's All Songs Considered. There's a lot of people who could sing that exact line,

and I would be like, you're under arrest. But she pulls it off. Download new episodes of All Songs Considered every Tuesday, wherever you get podcasts. Tis the season for rich meals, twinkly lights, and New Year's resolutions. At LifeKit, NPR's self-help podcast, we're here to help you make those resolutions less of a December and January thing and more like a year-long affair. We've got shows that'll help you draw up plans to meet your goals, whatever they are. Get the tools you need all year round with the LifeKit podcast from NPR. and PR. National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers, and we're here to discuss of course cars, car repair, and yet another deep philosophical issue. You know how sometimes just a few words can mean so much? Yes.

And conversely, how so many words can mean so little? But with just a few words, someone can bring up an issue that... Raises your consciousness. with just a few words someone can bring up an issue raises your conscious i mean you could you could ponder it for the rest of your life and i have in my hand just such a phrase really get this if a man speaks in the forest

and there is no woman around to hear him is he still wrong? David Leventhal from somewhere has posed this question. Yes. I mean, if a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? Boy. Karen says, yes! hear him is he still wrong Karen says yes Katherine yes

and I would have to say yes to him I'm still working on it I mean holy cow God it is deep stuff it is deep stuff it is deep stuff speaking of deep stuff yeah it is getting deep in here isn't it here's the puzzle this is the last puzzler of the season of the scholastic season of the scholastic year yeah we use the scholastic year

yeah and uh... we take the summer off yeah like the kids i mean what the heck sure they take it off and the puzzle will be going on vacation and all those academics like the kids. I mean, what the heck? They take it off and the puzzle will be going on vacation. And all those academics, those professors, they have a hard life and they have to take the summer off. Yes, and those art history graduate students. They got a lot of resumes to write and they got to learn to say, do you want fries with that? Well, not everyone is familiar with Doug Mayer, our erstwhile web lackey, web master. Dougie lives up in the wilds of New Hampshire in the mountains someplace. Because he's been working so hard on our website, he has no more social life.

In fact, his social life has been confined to tending his flock of sheep. And while out one day looking over his, his, his, his use, he noticed that one was missing. His favorite was missing. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what her name was, but and he went and he, he talked to some of the neighbors and asked if they had noticed any strange cars in the area if someone had kidnapped one of his sheep. One of the neighbors said, yeah, I did see a car, but I couldn't tell you what the make or the model is, but it did have an unusual license plate.

Now considering there are only about seven people that live up there and he would stake out the feed store and find this, this car. He thought it would be nice to know the license plate number. He could go to the police with it if he had to. And he asked what the license plate was. Yeah.

And? And his neighbor said the license plate was four by four by eight, IE four X four x eight. Like four by four truck. And he said, I know what kind of a car that is and I know who stole Elsie. Wow. Elsie was her name? Doris? Oh, honey. Her name is honey. Oh honey, her name is honey. So what kind of a car is, he knows what kind of a car it is by seeing this license plate that was identified as reading 4 by 4 by 8. He was able to tell from that license plate what make and model the car was.

And therefore who was it that kidnapped Honey. Yeah. You think you know the answer. because he happened to know who owned exactly He didn't recognize it by its license plate number. No, but he recognized it by the making money said I know whose car that is. What was it about this plate that told him what make and model the car was? Yeah, if you think you know the answer send it to us at puzzler tower. I said actually right directly to mayor car talk Plaza Box 3500, Harvin Square, Cambridge, Our Fair City, MA 02238, or you can email us your answer

from cartalk.msn.com by clicking on the Talk to Car Talk section, now if you'd like to call us for any reason whatsoever, our number is 1-800-332-9287 hello you're on car talk hi my name is Jane hi Jane Jane yeah just plain Jane huh are you a plain person no no not particularly that's good no you don't sound where you're from Jane I'm from Issaquah Washington from who Issaquah Issaquah, Washington. Issa-Q-U-A? I-S-S-A-Q-U-A-H. Issaquah. Issaquah.

I like it. Very nice. Okay, good. All right. Now what's up? I have a Subaru, an 87 Subaru, and to get to my home where I live, I have to go up this narrow two-lane hill road. Okay. And I have to pass by this house that has this vicious German shepherd. Vicious. Really? Sometimes he gets out of his fence. Oh. And if he gets out of his

fence, he waits by the side of the road for cars to come by. And he eats them. Well, and he'll run out. Yeah. and so your knee jerk reaction is to stop because you don't want to hit somebody's pet you know if you stop he'll bite your tires and he has popped mine get out a hole into the tire and flattened it and then you kick it out to change the tire he'll bite a hole in you That's right. Yes frightening So yeah, I believe there, you know, they can do it That's that's some serious jawbones there. Well what I was thinking when I was wondering what you guys can help me with leech

Was I was I was wondering if I put pepper spray in the tires Terrier eight the rubber and null and void the road so that when he might have a tire so when he bites through the tire he'll get the pepper spray at the pepper spray and you think that this is going to cure him why don't know i don't think so it might make him bite through the door but i don't know if you're going to have enough

she's i mean we i mean there various approaches, depending on the kind of person you are. I mean, there's the diplomatic approach. There's the punitive approach. The diplomatic approach is you get the name on the mailbox, you go home, you call the person, you say, my God, I know you don't know this, but your dog just bit through my tire, and he scares the living hell out of me every time I drive by. Is there any way you could make sure he doesn't get over the fence? Thank you very much. This is Jake.

There's no mailbox anyway. Who lives here? Like Ted Kaczynski? I don't know. So you don't know? I don't know. All the Clopecs live there. Anyone could live there. Anyone could live there.

The dogs live there. You could find out. You could go to the police and find out. There are various ways. There would be the Mounties, yeah. I would go for the behavioral modification approach. Which is? I would mount on the bottom of the car a couple of cans of mace. Oh, you guys are mean! No, that's... you can't do that!

And I would purposely slow down in front of the house, and as he came running out growling and snarling I would press the remote button that I have installed on the dashboard and spray that little baby with mace. He will whine and scream and he'll run back and the next time he sees a red Subaru, yours is red. No it's blue. A blue Subaru. He'll run for his life. That's what I'm thinking. That's it. No, that is the retributive approach. You're trying to do back to the dog what he did to you. Yeah, the truth is... And you're lowering yourself to the dog's level. Next thing you know, you'll be peeing on his tires. The truth is that the dog has nothing to do

with it. My brother is right. The dog is simply being a dog. It's the owner that the dog has nothing to do with it. My brother is right. The dog is simply being a dog. It's the owner of the dog who is the moron. If he has a dog that is prone to this kind of behavior, he should be making 100% sure that that dog is penned up all the time. So we've got to get to him. The police. You've got to go to the police.

All right. Jane, I wish you the to go to the police. All right, Jane I wish you the very best with this strange problem you have. Thank you, but don't hurt the dog No, see you later Jane, okay Thanks. Hi, maybe you can do anything to the owner that you want, but don't hurt the owner is a jerk Don't hurt the dog. Yeah, well you've wasted another hour of your precious youth listening to car talk. Our esteemed producer is Doug the Subway Fugitive, not a slave to fashion Berman, and it's becoming more and more evident every day.

Mayor is not exactly a slave to fashion either. No, Mayor isn't. Well, after all, he just does what? The sheep don't look after. Doesn't really make much difference. The sheep don look after. Doesn't really make much difference. The sheep don't care. Our associate producer and dean of the College of Autonomous Ecology is Ken Babyface Rogers. Our assistant producer is Catherine Cathode-Ray.

Our engineer is Kevin I've Already Given. And our technical, spiritual, and menu advisor is Mr. John Bugsy, free lunch lawler, who again is absent. Our public opinion pollster is Paul Murky of Murky Research, assisted by statistician Margin O'Vara. Our director of new product repair is Warranty My Foot. Our staff butler from the Kartok Mumbai Division is Mahatma Cope. Our document security expert from the island of Jamaica is Yoripides Aptman.

Our director of upward mobility in Eastern Europe is the big new Chrysler. Our director of Turkish Intergestion is Mustafa Malox. Our evasive driving instructor is Yoripides Aptman. Our director of the mobility in Eastern Europe is the big new Chrysler our director of Turkish Intergestion is Mustafa Malox our evasive driving instructor is Vera Brukley our marriage counselors Marion Haste our head of used car purchasing is Yul B. Huffinett our behavioral consultant is Wyatt B. Hoosier the chairman of the Federal Lubrication Board is Alan Griespan the manager of our weekly shrimp buffet is Sheldon Devane the curator of Tom's's Car Collection is Rex Galore, and of course our chief counsel from the law firm

of Dewey Cheatham and Howes, Hugh Lewis Dewey, known around Harvard Square as Huey Louie Dewey. Thanks so much for listening, we're Click and Clack the Tap, and remember, don't drive like my brother. Remember, don't drive like my brother. We'll be back next week. Bye bye. And now with an important announcement here is Car Talk Plaza's Chief Mechanic Vinny Gombatz.

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