The Best of Car Talk - #2520: Derision of Labor

Episode Date: March 11, 2025

We all have that one work colleague that's a lot of fun but maybe doesn't pull his weight around the office and gets on your nerves once in a while. Well, what if the 'office' was an NPR radio show and 'the colleague' was your brother? How bad would that be? Find out on this episode of The Best of Car Talk.Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

On Thru Line from NPR. The consequences for the country would have been enormous. It would have been a crisis. The man who saw a dangerous omission in the US Constitution and took it upon himself to fix it. Find NPR's Thru Line wherever you get your podcasts. and we're broadcasting this week from the anti-tailgating division here at Carthog Hello and welcome to Carr Talk from National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers and we're broadcasting this week from the anti tailgating division here at Carr Talk Plaza. Yeah, I wanted to discuss

tailgating actually but you may remember that last week I asked you if you knew the tailgating law. Yeah. And you said, duh, duh. Of course I know the tailgating law. Which is what? Go ahead, go ahead! Uh, no, here it is. I'm going to give it to you right now. Don't tailgate. There's a car in front of you. Yeah. He passes a marker, a landmark on the side of the road. A telephone pole, a tree.

Regardless of the- A pedestrian lying down. Right. Roadkill. Roadkill. Regardless of the speed he's traveling. Yeah. And assuming you're traveling at the same speed, otherwise you'd be the losing ground or gaining ground. Right. You count 1-1,000 to 1,000 before you pass You knew that? The same roadkill. You knew that. I just made it up. It sounded good. It sounded right.

Well, it's stoned as the two-second rule. Get out of town! And that is absolutely it's stone as the two-second rule get out of town And that is absolutely correct. It's the two-second rule Which is a lot more stringent I think than the old one car length for every 10 miles an hour Because for example if you're doing 60 miles an hour, that's 88 feet a second in two seconds. You're going 176 six feet. Yeah If you're doing 60 miles an hour, that's 88 feet a second, in two seconds you're going 174. Six. Six feet.

Yeah. 176 feet is, even if a car is 17 feet long, which it ain't, is 10 car lengths. Well, all cars used to be 17 feet long. Yeah, but even at 15 feet, we're talking about 12, 13 car lengths. So it's like double the old rule, which means the old days we were tailgating

even when we followed the rule. Yeah? Huh, that's interesting. I don't tailgate. Now I think- You know why I don't tailgate? I'm always in front. Passing everybody.

I pass everybody. Yeah, good. All right, now look, before we get to calls today, we have several important announcements to make. Now this being the new year, we're making some changes, including new, as it says here, phones numbers. Really? Yeah, does your note say phones numbers?

It says it includes new phones numbers. Well, it took us 10 years to learn the old phones number, and now Berman's changing it on us. What a jerk. Anyway, if you want to call us from now on, here's the new number. No, I should point out that he has, he trusts us so much, that he has stuck all over the studio, hanging from every corner, the phone number. Here it is, new phone number, here

it is, it's everywhere. How can we not know? Because next week these little things won't be here and we'll forget. Oh, if they're not here, we won't be here off. They're not here We won't be able to do the show. Okay. Here's the new number. It's 1-888. Oh Not 800 but 888 car talk because 888 is also a toll-free designation which translates numerically into 1-888-227-8255 1-888-227-8255. Wow. 1-888-227-8255. We've waited 20 years to get a phone number that was Car Talk.

I mean, we figured we were in great shape. We had to wait for the guy that had it to die. We had a seven digit name for the show, and there are seven digits in the phone number, and we couldn't get Car Talk, and now we had to wait for 888. Well, I'm happy about this. Fine. Okay. Is that it? So if you want to talk to us you call 888-227-8255 and we'll answer

Yeah, we also have a new number for for car talk CDs tapes and all that other paraphernalia Oh, yeah, we're gonna give that one out too. Sure. The number is 1-888-CAR-JUNK Nifty, eh? That's good. So if you have a question about your car, you can call us at 1-888-CAR-TALK. Wow, that's 1-888-227-8255. You got too many eights in there. I heard 8888. 8888. 1-888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Stan in St. Louis. How did you know the number to dial hi stan i with it i hope you can help me with a problem because if we can't resolve it my wife insisting i jumped the car

well that might not be a bad thing uh... about three years ago my anti-bunny who's a a very sweet lady in new haven uh... gave me a nineteen eighty old omega with a four cylinder engine she and uh... had about forty thousand miles on it gave me a 1980 old Omega with a four cylinder engine and Had about 40,000 miles on it Yeah I bring this thing back to st Louis and I give it to my teenage daughters who kind of learn how to drive on it good But now I have a problem like I can't come to terms with that just when the weather turned cold about three weeks ago

It starts up on three cylinders Runs for about five or six minutes just shaking the big you've got a full face and then uh... finally it'll smooth out and then it runs okay and uh... i'd of course immediately you know wires distributor cap rotor all all all all all all all all all all yet so i'm really don't you know do you have any idea that my brother have an idea the end of the Yeah, so I'm really, you know, do you have any ideas as to what... But does my brother have an idea? He has...

You hear me going, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Since the arrival on the scene of all these fuel injected cars, we've been unable to use this answer for years. My brother's been dying to use this answer. But there was hardly a week that went by 10 years ago when we did the show that we didn't give this answer to at least three or four callers. and the answer is that you need a choke pull-off. Now let me tell you something I did you know kind of thinking that I needed to approach this in somewhat empirical way yeah I took my timing light that's an inductive

timing light yeah and I put it on the nut on all the wires and they're all firing they're not the number four doesn't fire and then after it warms up the number four does fire And I've changed the distributor cap the rotor and I've changed that wire twice And you change the plug of course well I didn't think the plug would need it because when it warms up the plug fired Oh, maybe that the plug is just gettingled, and the plug may be getting fouled because of the choke pull-off. Oh yes, this answer, my brother's gonna bail out

this answer. But wouldn't the timing light light up? No, the timing light won't light up unless the circuit is completed. Oh. Ah. Ah. Yeah, yeah.

Because electricity can't leave a home unless it can come back a home. Ha ha ha. So if the circuit can't be completed because the plug is not firing and the thing won't flash. And then once it does warm up and the heat from the other cylinders gets this thing warmed up enough so that that cylinder begins to fire, then the timing light will work. See, I always thought that the timing light would light up no matter what. No. No, in fact we misdiagnosed about 500 cars. We've made many mistakes thinking that. Well I would change that plug and have

somebody look at you just change the choke pull off. Okay. Just go buy one. Okay. And then when you get the thing out of the box you'll find the thing on the carburetor that looks just like this one., unscrew the old one and put this one in great ten minute job. Hey you guys you're my hero Say a Stan right you bye. Bye Wow Recycling an answer. That's good. I've been waiting. I can't tell you how long I've been waiting 188 8227 8255 or 1888 car talk that's the number to call if you want to talk to us. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, my name is Tracy Shoyer, and I am from Litchfield, Connecticut.

What's shaking? Well, I have actually I think my problem is my husband, but he thinks the problem is me. So we thought I thought I'd let you guys decide. We will. It's you. Well, you know, it's a new year,acey. I just have to warn you that I turned over a new leaf. What's your new leaf? The new leaf is that I'm siding with the guys. Oh, no. Too many death threats. I can't take it anymore.

I mean, you don't realize how many times I've been punched. Some guy broke my glasses, and didn't even have the decency to take them off my head before he did it. Oh, no, don't worry. My husband's a pretty nice guy. Yeah, we'll see about that. He's stubborn, before he did it. Oh no, don't worry, my husband's a pretty nice guy. Yeah, we'll see about that. He's stubborn, but he's nice. Okay, we have a very big difference on opinion on how to break when you're slowing down for

a red light or a stopped car in front of you. When I was growing up and learning to drive, my father taught me that when you're going to stop, you gently lift your foot off the gap and come basically a rolling stop and you apply the break as needed but you don't slam on the break and that would not like a safety but he said it can serve on the break he's right okay out there you go you have to my question well it doesn't matter i think you're right

also well i don't know go ahead okay Your husband might be right also. Well, I don't know. Go ahead. Okay. My husband has what he calls a conservation of momentum theory. Oh, gee. Oh, ooh! I like it already. It sounds like an M.A.S. thing. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha yeah i think that and i'm curious to see what how this benefits itself in breaking but going out there he thanks

that if he continues at his current rate of speed until the absolute last moment possible he runs the chance that you won't have to stop at all therefore he won't need to use the break uh... now this is not a conservation of momentum theorem that he's got here. This is a quantum theory that he has because it's based on probability. Right.

Well, he's an actuary. He works in probability. Of course. Yeah. He's also wacko. Well, see, and this that problematic because we have uh... well for a couple different reasons safety being one of them but he's not interested in safety he's interested primarily in

how he did conserving at break and we have a small dog that travel with the black we found that not keep scraping about the way that small dogs are very aerodynamic. So it's gotten to the point where if the dog sees a red light in front of us, he dives under the seat. That's good. It's only a matter of time before the dog starts puking. I mean the dog's been relatively restrained up to this point, but sooner or later he's

going to start blowing chunks. Right. And hopefully, it'll be all over your husband's pants, because God knows he deserves it, because he is a wacko. Okay, well see, and you're still siding with the man, because you're siding with my dad, too. I was thinking of that. Yes, how convenient.

How convenient. So it works out both ways. It works out both ways. But I mean, at least you had the common sense to understand that your father was right. Your husband has no common sense at all. And it was your guarantee that your husband was non-violent. That's what really did it, yeah. Yeah, my theory is that he likes to change the brakes because it's kind of a hobby of his. He changes them about every other month.

That should give him some clue that his theory of conservation of break momentum is wrong. Practice this. Hurl-fido. Hurl. See you, Tracy. Thank you very much. Good luck. Bye-bye. Hey, hey. The puzzler answer and more calls are coming up right after this. This message comes from WISE, the app for doing things in other currencies.

Sending or spending money abroad, hidden fees may be taking a cut. With Wyze, you can convert between up to 40 currencies at the mid-market exchange rate. Visit Wyze.com. TNCs apply. Hey, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Clack the Tappert Brothers. And as promised, here is the answer to last week's puzzler. This puzzle was inspired by a guy named Robert, feel free to help out whenever, you know,

whenever possible. It's inspired by a guy named Robert Arge who sent us an email about this interesting little tidbit that we were completely unaware of. Yeah. Here we go. The president of the California Free Range Beet Growers Association is taken hostage. Why? We don't know. But due to his position of great prestige, a full-blown manhunt is immediately set in

motion. Of course, as no other state but California could do. Exactly. Eventually, police surround an underground parking garage in San Bernardino, where they believe his eminence is being held. There are four cars inside the garage, one of which belongs to the kidnapper and contains the hostage.

The other three, a Nissan, a Ford, and a Buick, I think, all belong to innocent shoppers returning from a long afternoon of shopping at bed and zits bath. The kidnapper, knowing he's surrounded, decides to let the hostage go. Wise move. But he wants to do so without giving up his identity, so he decides to release his hostage in the stairwell of the garage and run back to his car and blend in with the other innocent motorists leaving the garage.

The president, blindfolded, has no idea where he is or what kind of car he's in. He can tell nothing from the sound of the engine. He's usually chauffeured around, so he has no idea what engines sound like. The kidnapper drives over to the stairwell, turns the key off, leaves the key in the ignition, opens the door. You're paying attention to all these embedded... Go ahead, man. I'm fascinated. This is like the mother lode... ...of obfuscation. Yeah.

He leaves the key in the ignition, opens the door, and forces the holy man out of the car and leads him onto the stairway. Yeah. To the top of the landing he brings him and leaves him there. The kidnapper then runs back down, hops in his car, starts it up, and pretends he's just another shopper. Got it. I got it. Okay. The police and the exalted one, the president of the California Free Range Beet Growers

Association, limited, wait at the garage exit. The Buick leaves the garage first. The Ford goes next. The kidnapper in his Honda Accord leaves the garage next. He's arrested on the spot and convicted right there. No, no. He's not convicted. Didn't he get Johnny Cochran for it? Oh yeah, I forgot. How did he know that he was being held in a Honda?

He was blindfolded. He doesn't know anything about cars. He can't see anything. He can't smell anything. His hands were tied. He couldn't see anything. He can't smell anything. His hands were tied. He couldn't feel the fabric, but he could hear. And here's the hint I gave. He used to be a boy scout.

And I remember when I was a boy scout, I learned Morse code. You did, did you? Well, I just remember a few letters. I do remember they all consisted of dits and dahs. Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, Morse code for H. Four dots. Is that right Dougie Mayor? Is he still awake? He says yeah he used to be a boy scout too till they threw him out. You shouldn't have done, no never mind. And who might our winner be this week Tommy? So there is the letter H which is H for Honda.

So of the four cars that were there, the police were looking for a Honda. And this exalted one from the big Gro's Association new Morse code got the letter H yeah yeah yeah why would it be H if it wasn't a Honda he said he said he said he said all I know is I heard did it did it did it did it just tell me one thing did he say did it did it book him Dano did it did it say speak I want is did it did it did it did it... Well, we got a winner. The winner is Ray Hadlock... With an H, see? With an H!

From Cleveland, Ohio. And for having his correct answer chosen from among the thousands of correct answers that we received this week. Free. Our pal Ray is going to get a 10th anniversary Car Talk T-shirt featuring our new slogan, Car Talk, celebrating 10 years of bad car advice.

It's something to celebrate. Hey, you ready for this? We'll have a new puzzler coming up in the third half of today's show. So don't touch that dial. In the meantime, we'll take your calls at our brand new number 1-888-CAR-TALK. That's 1-888- two seven eight two five five. Hello, you're on car talk. Hi, I'm Christy from Rochester, New York. Hi Christy. IE? Um, if I tell you I'm from California, will that help you guess better than I was?

K-R-Y-S-T-I. No. T-E-E? My family's Norwegian. Does that help you anymore? K-R? Uh-huh, that's good. Norwegian.

I-S-T-I-E. I-S-T-I-E. I-S-T-I-E. I-S-T-I-E. I-S-T-I-E. I-S-T-I-E. TEE? My family's Norwegian. Does that help you anymore? KR? Uh-huh, that's good. Norwegian. I-S-T-I-E. STI. I just took the N off Kristen. Ah.

See, I decided as a teenager to be more economical in my spelling and I just lopped the N off. Yeah, you changed your whole name. Yeah. From Kristen to Kristi... Well, that's what I go by. My official name is still Kristen, but nobody calls me that unless they're very very angry with me It's funny. That's what that's the one I mean I have had in my life several wives as you may know and the only commonality between them Thomas

I mean, they're completely different people except for the use of Thomas when either of them said or says Thomas, I'm in deep doo doo. Oh yes. I'll tell you, that's where one of our cars is right now. It's not just broken, it's in like deep doo doo. My husband's in the full time ministry, so people keep giving us cars, used cars,

that they're done with. Now normally it's a commuter car, so these are like really done with cars. So this one is an 84 Nissan Maxima. used cars that they're done with now normally to commuter car cities are like really done with car yeah so this one in eighty four Nissan Maxima well so in September it started losing power so that when you were driving it felt like like Fred Flintstone or something you weren't going anywhere you push on the

gas and if you ever slowed down it would never accelerate so we had a very fun time coming back from a romantic weekend away with this car. We couldn't stop for the bathroom. We couldn't stop for food because if you slow down, it just dies. So we had that repaired. Now, let me, I've got all my, my husband's repair. This is my husband's car.

So it had spark plugs then. Then it had a thermostat. Then it was running too rich. Well then in october it wouldn't start so we thought it was the battery the guy from the gas station came and told it he's been nice with person now we used to have a mechanic who wasn't so social and i but he really new car now we have this new guy who's very very nice and he

just redecorated the station but i don't think he knows a lot about cars. I hope he's not listening He's into marketing. Yeah, I can see that. He's just a really sweet guy Decorating! I complimented him on the station how much nicer it looked he got rid of that dumpy old couch covered with grease stains And yeah, and then he told me he'd given it to his mother HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA That's not kind of bad. But anyway, he's the nicest person, so he tows the car off in October. Mid-October says, I'll get right on it. New battery, everything's okay.

Well, we get the car back about six weeks later, $600 poor, and the thing is still not working. We even decorated it with Christmas lights. I mean, it was so awful. I gotcha. So my husband came home and said, you know, I'm sorry, I spent $600, the car is still broken. I'm like going ballistic

so my husband said you know i called him in we had a really nice chad and and i think that really hard and and it's so important uh... you know to have a good relationship with him and i feel really good about it i can just see this this conversation happening i don't think that they're not going to use a minister i can just see this good this conversation happening i can picture dan ackley here's a minister you're talking to eight one of the flash interior decorator yet

that ever there was a touchy feeling loving awesome it must be it must have been a sweet wonderful and calc and then deeply moving conversation but but i don't really experience with my cusses all the stick I'm not deeply moved and I don't feel good about this, you know This is a lot of money in the car is still sitting here. Do you know what's wrong with it? We know exactly what's wrong with this car. Yeah, of course we do of course we do Okay, go ahead we have no idea

Several ideas I have ideas and one of them one idea one of them has to do with the most recent trip that you took Where you couldn't shut the thing off and you had low power? All that stuff. This is what happened to my Dodge Colt Vista before I took ownership of it Ah the previous owner was driving it the fact we were in to lose power instead of Recognizing that was losing power and she wasn't getting went anywhere fast She has the gas pedal floor the thing goes from 50 to 40 to 30 I finally doesn't make it to her destination and the car shuts off

make it to her destination and the car shuts off and she tows it to us and we try and try to fix it and we can't we realize that the valves are burned out and all kind of the head gasket is blown we put a new head gasket on and alas it doesn't start and we finally realized that what's wrong with it is what's wrong with your car what was wrong with it in that your catalytic converter is plugged up catalytic converter is plugged up. Catalytic converter. What they need to do is to remove the exhaust system. Okay.

And in doing so, they will allow the exhaust products to escape and the engine will start right up and run. In order for the thing to start, you gotta have the spark, you gotta have the gasoline, but you also gotta have air. And if the back end of it is plugged up, air won't go through the engine because it end of it is plugged up air won't go through the engine because it's can't get out so it doesn't go in okay so how

much more is this gonna cost no this is a no cost test this guy out of the goodness of his heart is going to remove the converter and run the engine and when he figures out that that's what fixed it he will buy you a converter for free and when he figures out that that's what fixed it, he will buy you a converter for free. He ought to, for heaven's sakes. We're like their bread and butter over there. Oh yeah. Thanks guys, I'll give this a try.

Good luck. Good luck, Kristen. I'm feeling good about this now too. I am too, I feel much better. Me too. Ha ha ha ha ha. Bye bye guys. See you later.

Bye bye. See, you know, it's nice to have that kind of an ad. I mean. Wasn't she nice? Yeah, well I'm sure her husband is just as nice if not nicer, I mean. Bye-bye, guys. See you later. See you know, it's nice to have that kind of an ad. Wasn't she nice? Yeah, well I'm sure her husband is just as nice if not nicer. In a normal relationship, they would be fighting like hell. I mean, here's a guy trying to make a 15-year-old car work. It doesn't work.

The guy who fixes it charges him $600 for doing basically everything wrong. And instead of yelling at the guy, he forgives him. Forgives him, my son. And he goes over and says, we had a very nice talk. And his poor wife, Christy, Kristen, you'd think she'd be hitting him over the head with a rolling pin. Instead, she's laughing with us. She can take a joke.

That's really sweet, isn't it? I really wonder. I need about 500 customers. We'll be right back with more calls and the new puzzler after these messages. Ha! We're back for the third half of Car Talk with us Click and Clack the Tappert Brothers. We're here to discuss, course cars, car repair, and the new puzzler. Now I do have some rather convoluted automotive puzzlers

in my trash bag, what is it called, grab bag. Grab bag, not trash bag, no. Well most of them were retrieved from the trash bag. But since the kiddies are just getting back to school, I thought I would do something to, because they've been playing Nintendo for two weeks. Exactly. And now it's time to get the brain back in gear. And there are a lot of our little children that listen to car talk that are studying algebra. And I thought I would ask them to simplify the following polynomial.

Let me just write this down. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, go ahead. X plus a in parentheses times X minus b in parentheses times x plus c in parentheses dot dot dot dot times x minus z which is the last z. Get it?

So I mean, so it's parenthesis x plus a, close parenthesis. Yeah. Parenthesis x minus b, close parenthesis. There you go. So I want the product. The product of all those terms. Right? Yeah.

Yeah, and this really shouldn't take that long. I think it's something to just get the brain juices. Are there juices up there? What's up there? You know, how would you know? If you think you know the answer, just have nothing to do at work and feel like taking a stab at it. Mail your answer to Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3500, Harvard Square, Cambridge, our fair city, Matt 02238. Or of course you can email us your answer from our website, cartalk.msn.com. Just click on the Talk to Car Talk section. And if we choose your correct answer at random from amongst all the correct answers, you'll

get your very own copy of our brand new tape or CD called Men Are From GM, Women Are From Ford, lawyers are for Chrysler or some other useless gift that we couldn't sell in the holiday season now if you want to talk to the shameless Commerce Division oh yeah you said you were gonna give this number 1-888-CAR-JUNK if you'd like to talk to us it's 1-888-CAR-TALK or 1-888-227-8255 hello you're on Car Talk or 1-888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, my name is Kim and I'm calling from Amherst. Amherst?

Amherst, New Hampshire. No. Where is that? It's a little bit east of Milford. Yeah, go ahead. My name is Esther. Wait a minute. If you're facing the North Star, where's the Atlantic Ocean? On my right.

Okay, Amherst, that's good enough. If you're if you're facing the North Star is where's the Atlantic Ocean on my right? Okay? You're right. That's good enough And Milford it would be a little bit to the left of where I am her stuff The only town I know in New Hampshire is Portsmouth that I know it's north of that how much north it's actually east of that Oh, okay, Portsmouth is east of Amherst by how much? A lot? Well, like an hour. Oh, 15 miles, huh? In New Hampshire, yeah. New Hampshire roads.

Okay, Kim, now that we've got you triangulated And we know that you're a wise guy, what's up? Well, I have a 1994 Nissan Sentra center and it had ninety thousand miles on it and my mother he's looking to be for yet she's i know the nally she's called the show of the yet on the show yet cool yeah what's your entry her name nancy clinton last names please uh...

nancy okay okay and he said that my timing dot should have been changed to 80,000 miles. So I called my mechanic who said that it didn't have to be. And then actually my fiance called my mechanic. So now she's saying it should be because anything over 80,000 miles I'm driving on borrowed time and my fiance, because we're getting married this year and we just bought a house, doesn't want to spend the money. See, I'm not even sure your car has a timing belt.

It has to, doesn't it? Your car may have a chain. Okay. Did you consult the Nissan dealer? No. See, now if we were, if this was a high-tech show, we'd have a computer next to us, we would be able immediately to check the specifications, and we would be able to tell you without any question whether or not this car had a timing belt or a timing chain. Well we do have a technical advisor. Wait a minute we're looking for him. No he's not here. But either way doesn't it need to be changed?

No it does not if it's a belt it does need to be changed at some point usually it's at 60,000 miles need to be changed at some point. Usually it's at 60,000 miles. A timing chain, on the other hand, being a chain and made out of chrome steel, does not have to be changed until it starts doing ugly things, which it usually doesn't even do. Okay, no. If it's going to do something ugly, then what's it going to do? Like, how am I going to know? What usually happens to these, I mean, assuming it has a chain. Okay.

And I don't remember. And you should, you could call the dealer. You should call the dealer, because if it has a belt, you're really well over the time that it should have been replaced. Okay. And your mother, nosy Nellie, Nancy, is right. Okay.

However, if you have a chain, what typically happens is one of the chain tensioners or the guides will break and it'll be accompanied by a constant grinding noise. Right. You'll hear every time you... It'll sound like your blender is on. Yeah. That kind of noise all the time when the engine's running.

Or like you're driving my brother's 63 Dodge. Correct. Okay. So if the engine is quiet, assume that all is well and ignore this whole thing. Okay. Assuming that you don't have a belt. Okay. But you should at least make the phone call.

Okay. And find out if you have a belt or a chain. She did make the phone call and we couldn't answer. I mean we really should know. We should. I mean. Why don't you know something? I mean every week I sit here and I struggle with these difficult questions, and I look over to you...

I don't get any help! Dougie, why doesn't he know anything? I thought I was just coming in for therapy. Your job, every week, is to make me laugh. I do everything! My life is a shambles. I come in here once a week. None of my ex-wives.

Let me give you an example. Who starts the show? Who's the one that says, hello, welcome to Carter? That's you. Me. Who does the puzzler? I do the question. You do.

Who gives the puzzler answer? You do. I do. Who does the closing credit? You do. Who answers all the questions? You do. What the hell are you doing here?

I'm here for therapy. I'm here for my speech therapy. I'm here for my speech therapy. I'm here for my speech therapy. I'm here for my speech therapy. I'm here for my speech therapy. Who does the closing credits? You do. Who answers all the questions? You do. What the hell are you doing here? I'm here for therapy. I'm here for my speech therapy. I'm telling you, my life is a shambles, and I come in here for one lousy hour a week so you can cheer me up. All right, I guess I'll have to.

It's your job. You're on your own, Kim. As my older brother. You're on your own. OK. Let us know so we can help the next unfortunate soul that calls. Yeah. Okay. See you later. Thanks a lot. Bye bye. Thanks a lot for nothing. You could hear it in your voice. Oh boy, I'm embarrassed. Yeah, well you should be. I was counting on you.

Well, it's happened again. You were frittered away another hour listening to car talk. Our esteemed producer is Doug the Subway subway fugitive, clearly not a slave to fashion Berman. Our associate producer and Dean of the College of Automusicology is Ken Babyface Rogers. Our assistant producer is Catherine Oysterstoo. Yeah, she can't stop talking about the Oysterstoo. She can, I mean she's just bubbling over. And our engineer is Jonathan Marston. Our technical, spiritual and missing advisor is Mr. John S. Lawler. Our public opinion pollster is Paul Merkey of Merkey Research,

assisted by statistician Margin of Error. Our director of new product repair is Warranty Myfoot. Our broadcast philosopher is Philip Airtime. Get it? Phil. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Our staff butler from the Car Talk Mumbai division is Mahatma

Kote. Our evasive driving instructor is Vera Bruppley. Our town car rear seat passenger is Ralph Oliver. The director of our automotive recycling center aka junkyard is Ricardo Dismantleban. Our director of moral support as you demand. Our chief justice is Harry Menthil. Known on the bench as Judge Menthil and our Leo Tolstoy biographer is Warren Peace. Author of Leo Tolstoy by Warren Peace. moral support as you demand our chief justice is harry mental known on the bench as judge mental and our real toll story Biographer is warren peace author of leo toll story by warren peace our chief counsel from the law firm of dewey cheetahman How is you lewis dewey known in harvard square as you e louis dewey? Thanks so much for listening we're clicking clack the tap it brothers don't drive like my brother

Don't like my brother or my sister. We'll be back next week. Bye. Bye Don't drive like my brother or my sister. We'll be back next week. Bye bye. And now, with a very important announcement, here is Car Talk Plaza's chief mechanic, Mr. Vinnie Gumbatz. Vinnie? Alright now, if you want a copy of this week's Car Talk Show, which is 1998 show number one, you call our brand new shameless commerce number, which is one eight eight eight card junk You've got that eight eight eight card junk of any excuse me that is that car? C8h junk or car car you know sometimes I think you fill out of the stupor tree, and you must have whacked every branch on the way down

It's one eight eight eight car junk. That's one eight eight8-CAR-JUNK. That's 1-888-227-5865. And what if people wanted the new cassette or the CD called Men Are From GM, Women Are From Ford. Those are, you know, the calls about couples in their cars. Would they use the same number of in... No, you'd write the Kofi Annan at the United Nations. Geez, I can't believe I'm working with this moron. Of course you call the same number. That's 1-888-CAR-JUNK. Or you can get stuff through the online shameless commerce division at cartalk.msn.com.

You know, I do believe, Vinny, that under that gruff exterior, you are in fact a very sweet man. Yeah, drop dead, you jerk. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Car Talk is a production of Dewey Cheetahman Howe and WBUR in Boston. And even though Bob Edwards fights back a tear every time he hears us say it, this is

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