The Best of Car Talk - #2522: Lovable Loser

Episode Date: March 18, 2025

A year ago Steve jumped in his Acura and moved to Chicago, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed with a new girl and a new career. He called us too late for help with the girl and the career, but can Click and Clack help him hold onto the car at least? Find out on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Shortwave thinks of science as an invisible force, showing up in your everyday life. Powering the food you eat, the medicine you use, the tech in your pocket. Science is approachable because it's already part of your life. from NPR. Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, click and clack the Tappet Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week,ximoronic Titles Division here at Card Talk Plaza. Now we just thought this was interesting. We saw a reference this week to Michael E. Dobel, whose title is, are you ready for this? Advanced Technology Manager for Buick.

Woo! So anyway, our crack staff did a little snooping and it turns out what, I guess in their opinion, is the actual organization chart at Buick. They did this? I mean, they actually, Merky. They sent someone out, a spy.

Merky. And got the, woof! Merky. Merky's good. Industrial espionage, we call it and got the, woof, murky's good, industrial espionage we call it. And their question was simply, who reports to the chief of advanced technology at Buick? That's what they wanted to find out. And look, there are several direct lines right to him.

Yeah, here's one. The entire future upholstery division reports to this guy. Get out. It includes the director of non-planned research. Here's another guy. Chief even wider butt seating research. You have to stay on top of this leading edge stuff. I mean, the whole future exterior design department reports to this guy.

Of course. And in that area, they're apparently working on a report called Future Dimensions in Stodge, or Stodgyness. Wow. Stodged them. And then there's the Generation X marketing division. Look at this. What's this?

They have their motto written down below. It says, they'll eventually get older. When they do, we'll be here waiting for them. If we ain't dead. And then of course, some of the Buick's top secret future concept vehicles come out of the advanced technology department. We've uncovered a prototype, every vehicle Buick hopes to unveil early in the next century,

I guess. As you may know, much of Buick's market is made up of older folks. I know that. And some of the oldest buyers in the country would rather have a Buick, I guess. When would you rather really rather have a Buick and all the old guys and the rest of them are saying,

yes I would Martha. And in a move that I think is pretty brilliant, Buick is going right after the Lincoln Continental crowd. They're introducing the Buick Incontinental. That's bad. That's bad. Is this all true? Did you make this up? This is merely my opinion. Anyway, if you'd like to talk to us, our new phone number is 1-888-CAR-TALK.

That's 1-888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Stefan from Brooklyn. Stefan? Yeah. Stefan? Yeah. Stefan? What's up, man? I'm calling because the car, my car, which is the chief car for my business, which is the Unemployed Philosophers Guild, it has a peculiar problem. What kind of a car is it?

It's a Volkswagen Golf. What year? 1988. Yeah. And it actually used to cause tremendous amounts of grief. It would break down constantly. I discovered a temporary solution to the problem, which is that I'd be driving along and suddenly black smoke would come out the back and it would stall. When I would pull the heat sensor out, it would start up and it would run perfectly

without the heat sensor in there. What heat sensor? The coolant temp sensor? Yeah, the coolant temperature sensor. The thing under the hood. Right. So I pull that out and then the car starts to run fine and then every once in a while as I'd be cruising down the highway it would stall and then what I do is I leave the car in gear and I turn the engine off and so it would just sort of coast with it in gear. Yeah, I got it. And then when I turn the engine back on, it runs fine. And it'll run fine for 15, 20 more minutes.

And then I'll have to repeat this process. So I wonder if I'm destroying my car by doing this. How did you? I often wonder how people come across these little tricks. Yeah, what What made you pull off the coolant temp sensor wire? I mean, why not some other wire? It seemed obvious. It seemed obvious. It seemed obvious.

I can't explain it, but it's just as clear as day. Stefan, you may be a genius. Stefan, someone with your ability shouldn't be unemployed. Wow. That, I mean, wow. I mean, you haven't considered replacing this coolant temp sensor. I have, I have. I've replaced it and there was no difference.

Yeah, of course not. So it isn't a coolant temperature sensor and I brought it into Volkswagen on three separate occasions and though when I got the car back it was fixed for maybe a couple of days, it always reverted. Yeah. See, my theory on this is that whenever someone comes up with these strange little cures, temporary cures like this one, like the ones you came up with, either the person is a genius or a complete wacko.

And right now you're right on the fence. I'm leaning toward wacko now, although I admit i started out thinking you were a genius there's a very fine line there is there really may not be any life you may have crossed back and forth three or four times already yeah because i i don't think either one of these things that you do yeah has any bearing on the problem oh you're absolutely wrong you're entirely incorrect. I mean, I don't know about the stopping the thing in gear.

I can't figure that out. Pulling the coolant temp sensor wire may have something to do with something, but it may be forcing the computer to go back into some, to go into some limp-in mode, which is more likely to be correct than the than the run mode Okay, you need some of the sc. Yeah, I think that that's right. I think that that's Thank you I have a theory as to why turning the car off

I knew you would my feeling is the problem is is that there's a Take the gas flow is incorrect and when I pull the coolant sensor, it changes the mix of the gas. That's right. That's because it puts the computer into the limp home mode. Okay, but then when it stalls, suddenly it's burning too rich and the engine is flooded. By leaving the engine on with the car off, it somehow cleans out the cylinders okay you think that that's right not really no but I mean it's you've clearly done some thinking about this you have done something and it's not bad thinking I

have to say it's not completely wacko not you have to admit it's not completely wacko I want to work my way back to genius still on the line. I think you have a bad thermostat. But that's the one that I changed already. No, you changed the coolant temp sensor. Oh. The thermostat is the thing that actually controls the temperature,

and the thing that you changed simply measures what the temperature is. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Could it be a ground wire? It could be a ground wire. You know, there are a bunch of little grounds to connect to the cylinder head. Yeah. Any one of those can cause, if it's making a bad connection, can cause the thing to run lousy. Yeah. But you could change, you could clean those ground wires.

Okay. You can change the thermostat or you can have a check to see if in fact the thermostat is really opening at the right temperature. And when that doesn't work, I think the problem may be in your computer. Yeah. But you have to go to a different Volkswagen dealer. And I would recommend that you don't tell them anything about yourself. When you go in. Or what you've done to it. He's taking advantage of me.

Well, no, it's always bad to tell them what you've done so far. And don't mention your theories to them either. No, because right away. Let them figure it out right from scratch. Yeah. we have a little code that we use at our shop and when someone fills out a repair order there are all kinds of little boxes like who filled out the repair order, when promised, time promised and there's another little box that has no label but we have various codes and one is we use a W for wacko. When we have someone that's a wacko we put a W in that box because yeah, no matter what you explain to them

They're not gonna believe it So you may be you may be getting the W code. I never gave that one any call. See you Stefan. Thank you Hey, good luck. See you later. Bye. Bye one eight eight eight car talk. That's one eight eight eight two two seven eight two five five Hello, you're on car talk. Hey there you guys, this is Susie. I'm in Carlsbad. Susie! Carlsbad what? California. Remember me, the one with the van again? Well, I was just gonna say...

Yeah! I made it back from Texas. Wait, wait, wait. Is this Susie? Is this the Susie? Susie, say a little Espanol, Susie? Si, si. What? Wait a minute. Have you been to Mexico and now you're back? Yes, I made an incredible trip there, but it ended up being by plane.

For those of you who don't remember old Susie, I was just asking before the show. We haven't heard from Susie for weeks. Susie called us because she was leaving from Carlsbad. She was gonna drive to Texas to pick up her daddy or her mommy or somebody. Daddy. Daddy. Then she was gonna drive to Mexico and drive across the entire country from the west coast to the east. Is that right? Right and still someday I will. And then she was gonna drive back and we've been talking to Suzy for weeks now, asking how's she doing. The last time we talked, you were in Texas.

Right. And there was some sort of transmission problem, and it was going to cost a lot just to take it out and diagnose what the problem was. And so we decided, okay, just go ahead and replace it. Wait a minute. I mean, didn't we advise you to forget about it and just keep driving? Yeah, you did. So what happened?

What changed your mind? Susie, you didn't trust us. No. Susie. If I remember, it was a whine that you had when you were stepping on the gas that went away when you decelerated. Yeah, it wasn't the transmission.

Well, somehow, first we drained the fluid and then there was so many chips You know around the magnet and you said oh, yeah, that's what they say. Yeah, don't worry about that Remember that I had you know on my way over there I had all these different people drive the car because I really had no idea so like in Odessa I found a really nice Volkswagen mechanic who wasn't prepared to work on it, but he did listen and say, yeah, it sounds like the transmission. Okay.

So you talked to various people, including us, and you decided to believe all of them and not us, and you flew to Mexico. Is that it? Yeah. And got to swim in the Great Caribbean. So where is the Vanagon now? Well, it's outside running with a little bit of a knock and maybe you would be able to tell what that is.

Okay, so you had the transaxle replaced? Yeah, put in a factory rebuilt to the tune of 2800. Oh my... Yeah. Wow. Okay, well, so you're gonna drag the phone out to the car? Yeah, okay. Go ahead. Okay're gonna drag the phone out to the car What is this you're on a cordless phone no, oh long wire long wire, okay, so can you hear this? Oh, yeah. Oh

My god Oh my god. Is that enough? Oh yeah, that's enough. Okay. Well, how, they didn't just stop doing that. Did it? Well, I don't know. That's from the trip back from Texas. Ah, okay, so this happened a little at a time.

I guess so. And does the engine run smoothly? Does it have pretty good power? Well, there's... Not really, huh? Okay, on acceleration, sometimes when you're just starting off there's like this little lag like, okay... Yeah, yeah.

I can appreciate that. But otherwise it has plenty of power. Oh, at least you can drive it at like 45, 50 miles an hour on a flat road. Sure, 80. 80. It sounds to me like you have a stuck valve. Uh-huh. Or a collapsed lifter. That's what it sounds like. It doesn't sound that serious, but it's gonna cost money to fix it. Maybe big money. Really? How many miles are on

the engine? Well, it's a new engine and I don't know. It's like a couple year old. Oh, it's a rebuilt, a used engine.. Well that, you know, that's the engine that Ronnie the German mechanic rebuilt. Oh that guy! Oh yeah, Ronnie. Yeah. Oh you have to take this to him, I mean this is not a job you're going to do yourself. Okay. This may require pulling the engine. Oh no, really, just from that sound you think that? It could be, it could be serious. It's a horrible sound. Sounds bad. Sounds bad. It's a good thing you didn't drive all the way to Mexico. You never would have made it. No, you wouldn't have actually with that engine. If that's what was waiting in the wings for you.

Okay. And if you recall, initially we tried to talk you out of the thing in general. And then we decided if you were nuts enough to do it, who were we? If life was not just one little risk and excitement after another. What's life anyway? Sitting at home watching TV? No! Well thanks to you guys I did get there. So you know. You did go. So some way I think you're responsible. And you got to an even wilder less tamed place. Texas! Okay, thanks you guys. See ya. Thanks Suzie. Welcome home. Yeah. Safe and sound. Boy are we relieved. See ya later. See that was. Welcome home. Yeah, safe and sound.

Boy, are we relieved. See ya later. See, that was what she called and said she was from Carlsbad, California. I started to say, gee, you're the second person who's called us from Carlsbad, California in a couple of weeks. And it was, she's not. She's the first. And it isn't.

She's the only person. Okay. Yeah. It's time to find out if my brother remembers last week's puzzle. Well, as a matter of fact, John, our engineer, let it slip a little while ago while you were You know, I thought I smelled something. While you were out getting orange sodas. Really?

He mentioned something about the puzzler and he mentioned tires, which made me remember that it had something to do with a Porsche, except that was all I could remember. Well, I'll give everyone else a clue. It is about a Porsche, a Shimi, and the weather, and I'll tell you the whole story, and even the answer, right after we take a short break and get some more coffee. This message comes from eBay.

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at the mid-market exchange rate. Visit WISE.com. TNCs apply. Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers. And as promised, here is the answer to last week's puzzler. This was sent to us via email by John Zumsteig.

You say via, I say via. You say tomato? I say tomato. You say potato? I say potato. Tomato, tomato, potato, via, via. Let's call the whole thing off. What is it, via or via?

Well, it would be via. It would be via. What did I say? You said via I said via like via Appia? Yeah, I'll look it up. Yeah, okay via like yeah We are about by way of by means of by way of okay here It is by John zoom steak one crisp fall morning a man brings his portion to his mechanic saying that he couldn't drive it More than 20 miles an hour. At that speed, he says, it developed a horrendous shudder.

The mechanic, being busy as usual, drinking his morning coffee, eating donuts, tells the driver to drive the car into the shop and leave it there. He says, I'll look at it later on. When the driver returns that evening, the mechanic says, we couldn't reproduce the problem. So the owner of the car says, well, come on, let's go for a ride. They get in and he says, jeez, it's gone. I don't know what the story is. Well, anyway, he drives home.

The next morning, the driver returns with exactly the same complaint. Again, the mechanic says, look, I haven't got time to look at it. Just put it over there and we'll take care of it. And as you might expect- So as we finish with the coffee. Right. Again, the driver returns that evening. So as we finish with the coffee. Right.

Again the driver returns that evening, he gets the same story, we drove it, the car runs perfectly and there's a bill for 500 bucks. The third morning the driver returns, what? Same story. Same problem, yeah. At 20 miles an hour the car starts to shake itself apart. This time the junior assistant mechanic, this young buck named Kr. Here's the story and he asks a question of the owner Yeah, and the question is this did you buy new tires this summer the guy says?

Yes, I did and crusty says I know what's wrong with your car. Oh So does John I mean that's what brought it all up John said I know the answer just before he let it slip John I mean that's what brought it all up John said I know the answer just before he let it slip Yeah, and the question very simply was What is wrong and how old is crusty when this story took place 18? And the hint was of course that he asked if he bought tires in the summer and of course the guy did yeah And what happened when he bought the tires is that one of the tires had water in it. Shhh. Well, as is often the case, people with died tires store them outside.

The tire got mounted with the water in it. And when it was put on the high speed balancer and spun around, the water, because it was a liquid, got evenly distributed and got balanced. With the rest of everything. With the tire. Right. Okay. Now we fast forward to the first cold morning. I think I said it was a crisp fall morning.

Well that's the part of the puzzle that I missed last week. I didn't realize you had said it was a crisp fall morning. That's what happens when you doze. Because it was a crisp fall morning, that water froze and made a chunk of ice that now made that tire so unbalanced that the car really would feel like it was shaking itself apart when you tried to drive. It would be so unbalanced you wouldn't be able to drive it. And of course, sitting in the warm garage all day it melted and reverted to its summer state, etc., etc., etc. QED. So what does one do in a case like that? You just make a little hole in it so you get the water to drain out? On the bottom. Yeah. Yeah. If you don't have a top, it won't leak out. Well, you could make the hole on the top and then apply

heat to the tire and vaporize it. It would come out the hole. That's what I would do. And who might our winner be? The winner is Holden Babcock. Wow, I love it. I love names like that. That's that's it's like Holden Caulfield. Yes Holden Babcock Wow and He's from Rockford, Michigan by the way And not only is he lucky to have the name But he's also now gonna get a copy of our new album men are from GM women are from Ford and lawyers are from Chrysler this is a collection of I think the lawyers are from Buick actually it's a collection of calls about couples cars and we'll have it in your mailbox by Valentine's Day hold and

if not this year then definitely next year you're always in the Valentine's present anyway well of a brand new puzzler coming up in the third half so today's show, so don't touch that dial. In the meantime, we'll take your calls at our brand new number, 888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. This is Jill from Missoula, Montana. Hi, Jill. Hello, and I've spoken to you guys before a couple years ago about the problem I've had with the nose pickers. It's me. Gee, you know, I would have, yes, I do remember you very vividly, in fact. How could one forget? I'm so sorry. I've been embarrassed the last couple of years. People have pointed me out on the street. Yeah, there goes Jill. I know, I know. Like, I have a problem. Anyway, this is my question. I have an 84 Nissan Sentra.

And I've been hearing this piece of advice from men because they're the ones that give out the advice on solicited advice yeah right this is it and I don't know I drive to work and the store and I don't take long trips with this car the answer is yes by the way yeah I know you have to do it no matter what the question you have to do it no matter what it costs because that's the way it is yeah well and if you don't do it you're gonna wreck the engine you are go ahead ask the question anyway uh... whenever i do take it out on the highway which is rare

and this person is with me every single time he says to me well you know you should take the car out on the highway more often to blow that stuff out what what what deal and what is this stuff well you should tell them to take his handkerchief out more often and blow that stuff out I know I don't get it I mean my car runs okay and then you know it's like after we've been on the highway we're back in town it's like see see how much better it is like it's not I don't notice a bit of difference the scoop you're right there are many many men men

yes we have it oh they have this theory about blowing that stuff up. They do. Yeah, I know it is. And their theory extends beyond just taking it out on the highway. If the car isn't running right, one of the ways to get it to run right is to rev it up. It is the equivalent of banging on your television set when it doesn't work right. I didn't, that didn't even cross me. Plus the fact that it's required not just to keep the engine running well, but to satisfy most males need to drive fast. So one way to explain it to your girlfriend or spouse is that we've got to go out and

drive the thing at high speed. And what you're doing is blowing out the carbon. Usually they're saying you gotta blow out that carbon. And the truth is it does have some basis in fact because back in the old days when carburetors, when engines had carburetors and those carburetors basically consisted of a hunk of metal with a hole drilled in it so that gas could drip out at some rate that was unimportant and unrelated to what the throttle was doing, then carbon used to build up on vital engine components. Are you sure?

Oh yeah. Sure. We are sure of this. This person, now see this person is either over 50 or- No, the person from whom he learned it is over 50 50 or he learned it from his daddy. That's right Oh, yeah, that sounds more like it doesn't really know it's like a lot of other things You don't really know the why you just know the the what the what exactly this is what you do It's sort of handed down. How come women don't hear that from their all they do

Honey, you got to get out on the freeway and blow it out. Nobody's had that conversation with me. Your father never told you that? I, no, I'm sure of it. He did not. He didn't? Well, see, you may, no, you may have heard it, but my guess is that it went in one ear and out the other because you didn't. Because when he said you're gonna blow it out, you said, I'll go blow it out. You old geezer. you're gonna blow it out you said I go blow it yeah I don't know yeah well I

mean and there as we say there is some basis for this even now it is possible for some cars to build up carbon and it would not be completely outrageous to think that you ought to take it out once in a while and blow out the carbon. But you never noticed really a difference. Well you might if the car were running badly you might notice a difference but if it were already running well then I'll give you an example. When I get up in the morning I look in the mirror. Now that takes courage. I hate that. I hate that too but if there's nothing you can do to improve it, I mean why bother?

Now if someone said to you, you should comb your hair. You know if you combed your hair, it would be a lot less frightening. Why bother? That's right. Whereas I get up in the morning and I look in the mirror and it's just about perfect. I comb my hair and I don't see a lot of difference because I mean Adonis would be jealous of my bronze body. How do you do it? It's a diet of cappuccino and jelly donuts. You're so lucky.

I know it. Oh boy. Well, you've helped me once again. I'm sure. It's been a pleasure talking to you. Okay. Just like the last time. Well, you hope so. See you later. Okay, bye- again. I'm sure. It's been a pleasure talking to you. Okay, well... Just like the last time. Oh, well you hope so. See you later.

Okay, bye-bye. Bye-bye. Oh boy. Now before we get to the new puzzler... I can hardly wait. ...we have to take a short break. Why? You know why?

No. Because I have to finish working on the puzzler. You haven't given it any thought yet? What have you been doing the last 40 minutes? I've been answering the caller's questions because you've been dozing. What, you give the same answer every time anyway. Vacuum league, vacuum.

Ha ha ha. Ha! Don't scare me like that. I'm trying to get a little nap in here. We're back, you listened to Car Talk with us, Click and Clack the Tablet Brothers, and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and the, and the,

the new puzzler. And the one and the two. Oh, I have to tell a little joke first. Yeah, go ahead. This past summer, our producer, Dougie Berman, was on vacation down in the island someplace. And he's walking down the street and leaning up against the tree

is a guy that's dressed up like a pirate. You know, he's got the three quarter length pants, the puffy shirt. Peg leg. The hat's over one eye. The bandana on his head, the toucan on his shoulder, Reeboks. Ha ha ha ha.

And he's got, so Dougie looks at him, he says, Jesus, he looks at him, the guy's got a peg leg, he does, he's got a hook for a hand, and he's got a patch over his eye, like all pirates do. And he asks the guy if he's a real pirate, and the pirate says, I am, matey, I'm a real pirate. And Doug asks, he says, you know, he says, you're in pretty bad shape, do you mind telling me

how you lost your leg? He says, jeez, you know, he says, you're in pretty bad shape. Do you mind telling me how you lost your leg? Mm. He says, it was a mutiny. He said, they threw me overboard, and a shark bit me leg off. And Doug, he says, jeez, pretty bad. He says, how about your hand? How did you lose your hand?

He says, we were boarded by another bunch of pirates from another ship. He said, they wanted to steal our booty. He said, we came to fight them with swords. And before I could run the last one through, he cut me hand off. And that's how I wound up with me hook. Wow.

He says, geez, you got a peg leg, sharks ate your leg off, you got a hook. He says, how about your eye? Bird poop. He says, excuse me? Bird poop? You know, excuse me? Bird poop? You know, bird pooped in your eye and you lost your eye? That's what I said, bird poop.

Well, how did that happen? It was the first day with me hooked. Well, which leads me up to today's puzzler. That's a lead in to a puzzler. Now, we all know that pirates, in fact many sailors of old, have patches over one of their eyes. They do. And we know that it ain't bird poop.

We do. Well, we... It seems unlikely, at least. It seems unlikely that it's bird poop. Yeah. I mean, how stupid could... Never mind. The question is, why is it that old-time sailors had frequently had a patch over their eye?

Had no eyesight in one eye that they wore a patch over their eye? Now if you think you know the answer or you just have nothing to do at work and feel like taking a stab at it, mail your answer to Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3500, Harvard Square, Cambridge, Our Fair City, MA 02238, or of course you can email us your answer from our website, cartalk.msn.com, just click on the Talk to Car Talk section. And of course if we choose your answer, your correct answer that is, at random from among all the other correct answers that we receive, you'll get your own copy of our brand new album called Men Are From GM, Women Are From Ford, which will save you the trouble of having to go out and buy a Valentine's Day gift.

Valentine's Day. Yeah, a fat chance you'd get something by Valentine's Day. Oh, not from us, no. If you'd like to call us, our number is 1- that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that

that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that

that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that How did you get to Chicago and do you like it there? Why did you leave Arlington? Oh questions? Come on You never actually want to get to um, is this like a special three or four hour show? Yeah, they're all the same I got to Chicago For a career and and a girl I lost the girl and I've given up on the career. Sock em home now. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Give her your number? You made me spit my coffee all over the table! So we see, so the romance is down the tube, the career is down the tube.

What do you want, Jack of Orchids number? When are you getting back? No, I'm way beyond that Jack of Orchids thing, I figured I might as well. Oh good. No, that was ten years ago. Oh. That was ten years ago. The career I just gave up on recently.

But I do have ideas, but I can't tell it to you on the air. No, no, we can talk about it later. What, you have inventions? What's that? You have inventions? Something badder. I originally was going through... Crime! If it's not an invention, it's gonna be a scam haha that's the only thing that's better

cuz you don't have to make it haha i try to come up with inventions and stuff but the problem is i don't know how to actually make that. you need a prototype, a scam, you don't need anything haha i had the ergonomic beach chair but i couldn't figure out how the hell do you actually make it ergonomic? Yeah, and how do you spell ergonomic? Alright, let's get down to business here. What's up? Alright, I have an Acura Integra GSR.

What year? It's 1996, at least. Oh, and it's forest forest green sort of that that could be important you never know Yeah, I went to a month or two ago I went to a party in the suburbs two friends of mine They looked and then they decided to have a party to celebrate it cool Yeah, anyway went to this party and they had this like designated lot said Strictly you must park here if you're going to the clubhouse that's what they call the party room or whatever it was in the sort of

got it uh... by about midnight at this party all the uh... you know boring people people kids they're gone and um... and one group always had to separate groups what's not a lot of people all their friend it was a great it was a great it was a great time yeah but the one o'clock is when the party room

supposed to close but Jerry had gotten like verbal permission never get verbal permission yeah verbal permission have a party go later yeah and so at about two o'clock when people that was still there somebody decided to leave went out came back said hey guys my car has been towed we all went outside every car in the lot gone except mine were gone they didn't want yours now I was wondering my car front-wheel drive standard transmission it was parked head-in and in gear that's why they didn't break that's why they didn't tow it that is why yeah they what they would have to do is get into the car with the Jimmy

Okay, and then put it into neutral Uh-huh, and they obviously couldn't get in or they didn't have the slim Jim with them or they were coming They're just going to get the slim Jim. They were on their way back. They had done everybody else's car save mine for last Yeah, yeah, okay See if yours had been for example parked in the other way in, they would have just lifted it up and rolled it away. But you can't tow a vehicle that's in gear because you're gonna drag the tires along the ground. And you were in first gear? Right. They probably have learned the hard way. We had a puzzler about this ages ago. Oh wow. That if you take an engine that

has a timing belt and you make the engine turn backwards Which they would have done by towing you out in you if you were in first Uh-huh, what would have happened is that as they pulled you the wheels would have turned but they would have turned and is transmitted That that energy to the engine but it would have made the engine turn backwards because you were moving backwards But the car was in what a forward gear And by doing so it would have made the timing belt jump right and it would have wrecked your engine and they probably learned that it wasn't worth somebody else's Acura or maybe a Honda or whatever and getting sued and it wasn't worth it so they went they

were going back to get the slim Jim and you just happened to come out right away but the more important question is how'd you make out at the party? So to speak. Not that kind of party. Oh it wasn't, because they were all boring. No, no, no, not everybody was boring. It was all friends and stuff like that there. So although I did sort of scope it out. Yeah, you got a few phone numbers, right? And you gotta get some clue as to who's getting ready to break up with whom. Right, like that Seinfeld episode.

Oh yeah, I waited three years for that marriage to end. Right. Well, Steve, we'll be looking forward to seeing you back here in the Boston area. Okay. All the reasons you went there are now complete. They're gone. They're defunct. but how is chicago in general in general chicago to great play and when i was act doing my best

i came here to be an options trader and when i was doing my best in making a lot of money uh... i was about to enact a lifestyle where i may be spent eight months here but a couple months in in boston area and a couple months in in boston area and a couple of months in the in bahamas yeah exactly st john yeah virgin islands st croix st croix all right same thing because i have a friend there but female friend um no actually male friend okay

and he's married beautiful wife i'm waiting that one out too. But Chicago is a great place. Thanks for calling Steve. When you get to Boston call us we'll go for coffee. Okay, looking forward to it. Thanks guys. Bye bye. He'll give us some hot tips on options. He's got all his options open. While you've wasted an otherwise perfectly good hour listening to car talk, our esteemed

producer is Doug the Subway Fugitive, not a slave to fashion, Berman, our associate producer and Dean of the College of Automusicology is Ken Babyface Rogers, who's a daddy again. Woo hoo, little Huey Dewey. Our assistant producer is Catherine Oyster Stew Ray. Try cutting that out. And our engineer is Jonathan Marston. Our technical, spiritual, and menu advisor and purveyor of pistachio nuts and ported pistachio nuts is Mr. John Bugsy Lawler. Our public opinion pollster is Paul Murky of Murky Research, assisted by statistician Marginal Vera. Our director of new product repair is Warren T. Myfoot, assisted by our customer care representative,

Haywood Jabuzoff. Our staff butler from the Car Talk Mumbai Division is Mahatma Kope. From the New Delhi office, our blues coordinator is Mohammedan Tolmi. Our document security expert from the island of Jamaica is Euripides Uppman. Our East Asian used car expert is Alexander Soljanisson. Our correspondent for the French car industry is Sylvia Pujol-Lee. Our evasive driving instructor is Vera Bruble. Our junkyard manager is Ricardo Dismantle-Bond.

Our director of moral support is You Demand. Our Leo Tolstoy biographer is Warren Pease, author of Leo Tolstoy by Warren Peace. Our chief counselor from the law firm of Dewey, Cheatham and Howell is Hugh Lewis Dewey, known among the icicles in Harvard Square as Hughie Louie Dewey. Thanks so much for listening. We're Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers and don't drive like anyone in my family. Don't drive like my brother, especially. We'll be back next week. Bye bye. And now with a very important announcement, here is Car Talk Plaza's chief mechanic, Mr. Vinnie Gumbatz. Vinnie Gumbach Vinnie all right now if you want a copy of this week car Talk show which is 1998 show number three is what you got a door right okay?

You're going to give out the telephone number now Vinnie is that the idea no I'm gonna trim that beard of you I'll do my gas-powered weed whacking you moron the number is 1-888-CAR-JUNK you got that That's 888-Card-Junk. Which for you morons translates into 1-888-227-5865. And what if people wanted to buy the new album that we just came out with? The men are from GM, women are from Ford. You know, the calls about couples in their cars. I happen to know that they would also call that 888-Card-Junk number.

Hey, you trying to hone in on my action here or something, pal? I'm sorry, no. That's 888-CARD-JUNK, or you can get stuff through the online Chimney's Commerce Division at cardtalk.msn.com. Hey, I kind of like this announcing stuff. It's kind of fun. I gotta get some gas for that wee whacka. Card Talk is a production of Dewey, Cheetah, and Howe, and WBUR in Boston. And even though Bob Edwards' voice cracks whenever he hears us say it, this is NPR National Public Radio.

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