The Best of Car Talk - #2530: The Pit of Despair

Episode Date: April 15, 2025

Kerry has a pothole in the alley behind her house that is so big the locals have named it, "The Pit of Despair". When the weather has been dry, her Honda CRX can climb down into, across and back out of it ok, but after a few days of heavy rain it can be rough seas in the ol' Pit. We're gonna need a bigger boat on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Support for NPR comes from the PsySims Foundation since 1985, supporting advances in science, education, and the arts towards a fairer, more just, and civil society. More information is available at psysimsfoundation.org. Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the Tribute Center here at Car Talk Plaza. You know, sometimes you just have to tip your hat to somebody. A few weeks ago, I was sitting at a diner having breakfast one morning, and I happened Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthaginian Carthagin And read this obituary in the right-hand corner Well, it turns out to be on page B 5 of the Boston Globe of February 21st, 1998 Theodore Teddy Green dies at 82

Theodore Teddy Green Boston's most notorious bank robber died Wednesday at his home in Stoughton. He was 82 From the 1940s to the 1960s. Mr. Green was Boston's most flamboyant felon. In 1953, he escaped from Charlestown State Prison by hiding in a sealed crate filled with rags. He was captured five days later in Hackensack, New Jersey. Now that gets good. This is a quote. I told the FBI, jeez, am I glad to see you guys. The last thing I remember is being at my sewing machine in Charlestown State Prison and I

guess I must have blacked out because I thought I was Eddie Parker of Hackensack and it just dawned on me this minute as you guys were closing in that I'm actually Teddy Green. I was just about to call you and tell you to come and get me." It goes on to say, he was actually in Alcatraz. A guy in Alcatraz was inspecting his cell and fell into a tunnel that Mr. Green had been digging. Confronted by the evidence, Mr. Green said, damn termites. This mean, this is an interesting guy. Oh yeah. And don't you wish that when you finally go to that big used car lot in the sky that they can write an obituary as entertaining as this for people to read.

I can only hope that Tom Lehrer, to whom we have to send a copy of this, will write a song about him. Will write a song about him. Well, the most interesting part of it all all and this is maybe the most curious part Is that after many many years he gave up a life of crime indeed and you know what he? Will ended up doing Yeah, what do you think he became? used car salesman

Now that's the kind of training that these guys should have exactly you get these amateur used car salesman. Now that's the kind of training that these guys should have. Exactly. You get these amateur used car salesmen, they don't know how to steal. Teddy Green knew it all. He did indeed. Well Teddy Green, wherever you may be, you've made our day. What a guy. Teddy Green, what a guy. If you want to talk to us, the number is 1-888-CAR-TALK, that's triple eight double two seven eight two double five. Oh, 82 double five. Hello, you're on Car Talk. No one will ever call us again.

Never. Hello. I'm Kyrie from Maryland. Kyrie? Kyrie. Kyrie. Kyrie. Go ahead.

Give us a hint. Start with a K. Start with a K, Y. R. I. E. Like Kyrie. Yeah. The lady song. From Maryland? From Maryland. Kyrie. Yeah. What's the derivation of that? Well, Kyrie is Greek. Why? You know, I have creative parents. Oh, they made this up? Yeah. They were like first wave. First wave of what Marines? No those people who make the names up now. It's like the style now. Yeah. Kyrie. I mean did they just make it up because they like the way it sounded? I

guess. You guess? You never asked them? No they probably don't remember it was a long time ago. And they were probably smoking something funny. Yep. Okay. Yeah, oh, okay. Fine. Kyrie. Kyrie. Yeah.

So what's up, Kyrie? I've got a Ford F-150. It's an 88. I use it to pull a horse trailer. When I pull the trailer and it's loaded and I'm going fast, it overheats. It doesn't overheat any other time I've had the motor replaced and the transmission replace you've had the engine replaced because it overheated not to solve this problem well the guy who did it thought that the head gasket was blown and it had 160,000 miles on it anyway so Yeah, wow and the trends and the transmission also the transmission was pretty yeah

But anyone ever think to like replace the radiator well, that's like the next thought I got I got this terrible hey I think maybe we'll do open brain surgery. And then later on, we'll try aspirin. I left out a fact. So you already did replace the radiator? Yeah, the radiator, we didn't replace the radiator for this problem. The radiator was replaced the winter before the problem started, but it seems to be functioning okay. And it was a new radiator? It problem. The radiator was replaced the winter before the problem started,

but it seems to be functioning okay. And it was a new radiator? It was a new radiator. Okay, how big are these horses that you haul around? The whole rig is about 3,500 pounds. What you needed when you bought this truck was the trailer towing package. Okay, I bought the truck used. It had the trailer towing package on it Yeah, I mean, it's really weird and I think my mechanic is pretty good and he's real baffled And how do you know it overheats the gauge goes up? And then it's boiled over. I mean I've had I've had antifreeze come out a time or two. Oh you have yeah So it has overheated even with the new motor. Yes I haven't found out from him if he put and I don't know if this makes a difference

It had a heavy-duty radiator and I don't know if you put a stock radiator in it, right? And that's in that what that's what makes it have the trailer towing. That's one of the things Uh-huh, it's a lot of tow package heavy-duty springs. So this wait a minute now this problem didn't occur until After you put the new radiator in some years ago. I put the radiator in the winter before the problem started happening but nothing showed up until the summertime. Of course, that's it then. It's the wrong radiator. It's the wrong radiator. Absolutely. Yeah. See I think what happened is whoever replaced the radiator neglected to tell the guy in the patch shop that

this vehicle had the towing package. Which would have meant a different radiator and in fact you're absolutely right. They sent over the stock radiator and that's the problem. Wait, would only a reheat when it's going fast though? Oh yes, that's when it would overheat. Because you're producing a tremendous amount of heat obviously when you're going fast pulling a heavy load. Okay. Which means you've got a lot more heat to get rid of, which requires a hell of a lot

more coolant. You need a radiator with another row of fins probably. Yeah. It'll look just like your radiator that's in there now, but it'll be thicker. Okay. So should I tell the guy who put the radiator in that he should replace it? Yeah. And tell him that he owes you an engine and a transmission. Ooh.

Because he made such a mistake. I don't think I'd go that far. See if he can get the radiator. Okay. But that's gonna fix it. Great. Good luck. See ya, Kyrie.

Thanks a lot. Bye bye. Thanks for calling, bye. Bye bye. Gee, I think we actually answered a question there. Well, we came perilously close and I was about to lean over and give you a dose lap One eight eight eight two two seven eight two five five. Hello. You're on car talk. Hi fellas This is Albie calling from Westboro. Albie. Yeah Albie as in Edward Albie

Close What's it all about? All about right from where I'm sorry wasn't listening where you from from West it, right. From where? I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. Where are you from? From Westboro. Massachusetts? Yeah. Yeah, good, cool. What's up, man?

One of my cars is a Chrysler LeBaron. It's a 1987, and I'm getting ready to sell it to my mother-in-law if I can. Oh, that'll cement your relationship. Yeah. But my mechanic said it's got one cylinder that's a little weekend at uh... it rather can the highway but around town you know it's sputters in the kid going reverse lots of times it'll die on yet

uh... any could g you know you want to sell to the mother-in-law a ten how mechanical issue well she's a cardiovascular person you know heart attack but she's pretty nimble so that was in the car is not going to hurt her. Yeah and so he said look if you knew which cylinder it was that wasn't working right about once a month you take the spark plug out and put a new one in and that should help it a lot Oh it's that kind of bad cylinder

yeah when you do put a new plug in does it run well well I haven't tried it yet. I figured I'd call you guys. When he said it had one bad cylinder, did he go on to describe the badness in any way? He said, look, you can drive this a long time, it's a little weak, he said. I think he's nuts. Really? Well, I don't know if he's nuts or not. I mean, it may have a bad valve guide, and maybe the valve is burned out a little bit for a different reason but it's sucking in oil.

We know that and fixing this is going to require either removing the cylinder head or removing the cylinder head and removing the pistons. So it's clearly something that's never going to get fixed. It's never going to get fixed, that's right. And if it really was simply a matter of a bad spark plug, it wouldn't, I don't think he would refer to it as weak. I think he means it's got a burned valve and the compression is low. In which case, replacing the spark plug isn't going to do anything unless, as my brother

says, it's got two different problems in that cylinder. But I would certainly try that because, I if nothing else you could put it in the contract that you'll sell in the car and once a month you'll go to the house and change the plug for her. Yeah but she lives in Florida. They all, even better. Better yes. Once a month in the winter.

November, December. Yeah but no, maybe I'll buy her one of those little wrenches you know with the foam inside of it. All of this is moot Albie. It's all moot because I just realized she will never take possession of this car. No. You are never gonna make it from Westboro to Florida with this car unless you airlift it. You could put it on the boat train She's gonna come up and visit me. Maybe I make the deal then say oh, I get a one-way ticket grandma and And here's the car. I mean, I'd actually like to sell her my 89 Grand Voyager, but I'm not that vicious a person

Yeah, I mean I would at least check out the theory about that this guy has that replacing the spark plug Does improve things you know if it does then I'd say you would have no Quote should have no qualms about selling it to her if it doesn't work on lock the price down $200 We hesitate to ask from what I was gonna ask her $1,000 for it I was going to ask her $1,000 for it. $1,000 bucks? Yeah, well, no, that's good. That's a million. This is your mother-in-law? Yeah.

Well, I don't know. I think this is a very clever attempt at making sure she never talks to you again. Yeah, in which case, good luck. Okay. See you, Albie. See you, Albie. Okay. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Hey, hey, the puzzler answer and more calls are coming up right after this. Support for NPR comes from the Psi Sims Foundation since 1985, supporting advances in science, education, and the arts towards a fairer, more just, and civil society. More information is available at scysimsfoundation.org. Hey, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us. Click and clack the tappet, brothers. And here's the answer to last week's puzzle.

You may remember, long, long ago in a galaxy, oh yeah, far away, a Ford Galaxy, that is, our buddy Krusty was driving to what was to be his wedding ceremony up in the wilds of Maine. He's driving along this lonely, unimproved, i.e., dirt road cow path full of potholes and whatever, and he's driving along and he drifts into the state of euphoria. Remember that? Is that near Maine?

Is that east of Maine? Well, it's just between New Hampshire and man Anyway, he drifts into the state of euphoria thinking about the marital bliss that awaits him So so so there he is he and he hits this huge rock in the road big rock and it tears open his gas tank And he says ah man. What did he say fudge? Oh fudge that Oh fudge. And he realizes, he does a quick calculation, and he realizes that the gasoline is pouring out at such a rate that he's never gonna make it

to the wedding, and he knows that if he doesn't make it, she's not gonna hang around because he's what? A loser. He's a loser. So he opens a trunk, and he's trying to figure out some way to solve the problem, and he starts pulling stuff out. He's got another transmission in there,

styrofoam motor a raccoon coat, the raccoon still in it, I believe, his tool kit. He looks down again into the car and he sees the gas pouring out and he realizes that in five minutes, he will have lost so much gas that he'll never make it to the wedding. So he runs to the front of the car, throws open the hood,

and with a few tools in his hand, and in maybe a minute, maybe less, he yanks something out from under the hood and with a few tools in his hand, and in maybe a minute, maybe less, he yanks something out from under the hood, and a minute later, he's driving away and he makes it to the wedding on time. And the question was, what did he do? Now, he didn't take the fuel pump out or anything like that.

No, in a minute. The gas is pouring out. What does he possibly? I have to say that I have no idea what the answer to this is. No? I have no idea. Well, I think you might hate it. He removes the windshield washer bottle, pours out the washer fluid, glug, glug, glug,

fills up the washer bottle with gasoline. Puts the washer bottle back where he took it out from. Hooks the hose from it, not to the spritzers, but to the carburetor. And he gets, he gets to his wedding by hitting the little button on the dashboard. So instead of using his fuel pump to fill up the carburetor with gasoline, he goes, bzzzz. And the carb begins to run. All right.

And we noticed it's starting to stumble and losing power. And another beep, it gives another little squirt. Oh, I do like it, actually. I was confused by the fact that I thought, from your description of the situation. That he removed something and left it. He removed something. I had to lie.

I lost the hood. I couldn't. I got in the car and drove away. I couldn't tell the truth, because it would have been too easy. And I didn't understand how he could have done this in a minute. That's why it was what? A puzzler.

I mean, I could have made it easier, say he removed something, he reinstalled it, he took the hose that had previously been connected to it and connected it to something else. If you had said five minutes, I might have thought in a completely different way. Well, it really took a minute. Bull feathers. All right.

All right. Twenty-five minutes. Twenty minutes. But it's very good. I like it. I like it. I'll let you have it. And of course, it's only possible because his galaxy was carbureted.

If he had a fuel-injected car, like we all have now, except for Tommy. Not all of us. Yeah. Do you even have a carburetor if he had a fuel injected car like we all have now except for not all of us. Tommy, do you even have a carburetor? No, not really. All right anyway who's gonna win our fabulous prize this week? I have no idea but I can tell you who's getting our crummy tent anniversary t-shirt. The winner this week is Tyrone Herman from Burlington, Illinois, and there is a Burlington as you know. Off. Yeah, go ahead.

We won't even discuss it. No, not necessary. By having your correct answer chosen at random, Tyrone, from among all the answers that we got this week, you're going to get a t-shirt that says on it, Car Talk, celebrating 10 years of bad car advice. Now this t-shirt is super absorbent and excellent for wiping off your dipstick or anything else. It's really off your windshield, you can wax the car with it, it's very soft. Don't wear it because it looks stupid. Anyway, we'll have a brand new puzzler, not automotive in nature. Oh well I don't

think so. I don't know, I haven't really decided yet but it will be new nevertheless and it's coming up in the third half of today's show so don't know, I haven't really decided yet, but it will be new nevertheless. And it's coming up in the third half of today's show, so don't touch that dial. In the meantime, we'll take your calls at 1-888-CAR-TALK. That's 1-888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Gretchen from Tyler, Texas. Hi, Gretchen. Gretchen.

Yes. Tyler. Yes. Have you been here you been here where is Tyler the Tyler the other day I had two pairs of pants shortened it's halfway between Dallas and Shreveport Louisiana I've never been there no well it's beautiful we're famous for our roses and azaleas cool sounds like a fever and allergies to me and a very cool so that you can even allergies to me so it's in your mind gretchen well I have a nineteen ninety-six me on

centra yeah and recently we had a lot of rain here and a friend of mine had taken my car and had parked it on their lawn home he got stuck and maybe you don't know but in East Texas we have red clay for earth. And they tried to pull it out with a little truck and it just sunk deeper. And so I asked one of my students with a huge pickup truck I asked one of my students with a huge pickup truck to come help me pull it out. And so we went out there, he hooked up the car,

he couldn't get directly behind it, so he was kind of at an angle. What happened was... I see disaster in the windmill. Right. Well... Well, were there any trees between... Yeah, I can see it all

what happened was the driver had the driver side window down to get instructions from the many men by the way standing around all of whom knew everything and within a split

second the wheels of this huge pickup truck spun untold sums of mud into the car. Oh, into the car. It completely covered my dash. Down into the vents? Yep, you've got the picture. So, I took it to the dealership.

$400. Oh, you should be so lucky. $458 in labor only. $45400. Oh, you should be so lucky 8 in labor only 458 well, what is there besides labor? Well, we're shields little bitty gears and there's a box a what did he call it a Control box. Yeah, the heater control box. Yeah Yeah, and they're little bitty screws and gears and yeah, Yeah, but they can't amount to a hill of mud. Yeah. Yeah.

So $500. It'll be $500. I might need a heater motor, but I very much doubt it. No. In fact, I would do nothing. Well, I went to another mechanic. Ah, there you go. So he took it.

He kept it today. I went back to pick it up. It was $57. Woof. My question is, where does the mud go and how can it be that it could be $458 or $57 and... Yeah, what did he do, do you know? Actually, I don't know what he did. I trust him so much I didn't even ask him. Yeah, what I suspect, by the time you got it to him, the mud had turned to concrete.

Yeah. And I think he probably used compressed air. Oh. And he probably got into those vents and started blowing and stuff started coming out the bottom. Yeah. And when stuff stopped coming out, he was done. He looked at his watch and he said,

I spent 20 minutes on this. $57? $57. Well, this is interesting. I always make a little note as people call. I write down the name and where you're from and the kind of car. And I just looked down and it said 96 Sentra. Because I realized that my mind was in a completely different place.

If it had been my car, I would have A, done nothing. Because I realized that my mind was in a completely different place. If it had been my car, I would have A. done nothing, but if it had gotten a little bit more troublesome, I'd have played the holes on it. Exactly. I'd have taken the holes and just stuck it in there and filled everything up, and it would sooner or later wash out. And that's why we don't have any customers anymore but i realize you wouldn't really want to do that it's only a year and a half old

that's what the guy in the pickup said oh i just hosed my pickup down yeah well you can't listen to anyone that drives a pickup truck that's true right so i don't have to worry about anything in my dash there's nothing in there that can be hurt. No Unlikely, it's unlikely and if it is yeah, you'll find out it's not the end of the world Okay, if there is then I'll call back later. All right Gretchen. Have a wonderful day. We'll be out when you call but call anyway See you later

Calls and a new puzzler coming right up after these messages. Ha! We're back. You're listening. Put your headphones on. You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Clack the Tapper Brothers, and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and the new Puzzler. I can hardly wait. Well, this was submitted by Leo Leonard from Linwood, Washington, and I chose it because it was written by hand on a piece of paper. Wow, with lines on it, from a pad. A pad of paper. He just wrote it on a pad of paper and tore it off like a semi-legal pad with a margin on one side that's semi-legal that's paralegal paralegal the legal pads have a margin on both sides right so you can what write in the margins

yeah right what makes a pad legal well as long as it's not violating any of as it's not contraband I don't know This is in the form of a riddle A riddle? That's a new An automotive I lied earlier, I said the puzzle was non-automotive in nature, but that's only because I really didn't have a puzzle Well, while we were talking

and it was sitting there in the pile, it became automotive. Something happened to it There's no way to predict these things. What is it that you... They just happen. Are you ready? What is it that we for a long time could rarely do with our cars and then we could and now it would take you ten times longer to do it if you could. Wow! I love it! What is it that you could rarely do and then you could do easily and then now if you wanted to do it would take you ten times longer than it used to?

That's perfect. That's good. I like it. I like it. No one will get it. Now if you think you know the answer or things are slow at work and you just feel like doing nothing else but writing us a letter, mail your answer to Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3500, Harvard Square, Cambridge, Our Fair City, MA 02238 or you can email us your answer

from our website, cartalk.msn.com. Just click on the Talk to Car Talk section. And if we choose your correct answer at random from among all the correct answers, you'll get one of our new Car Talk t-shirts featuring the slogan, which certainly nobody else would ever steal from us. No. Celebrating 10 years of bad car advice. If you'd like to call the numbers 1-888-CAR-TALK, that's 1-888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk from the BBC. 1-888-227-8255.

Yeah, good. Okay. Hello, who's there? Hi, this is Carrie calling from Boston. Carrie? Carrie, with a K. Oh, Carrie. Yes, K e r r y Why from Boston, Massachusetts? No kidding yeah, actually even Boston Boston. I live in the South End in Boston good for you How's everything in the South End? It's wonderful. It's getting better every day. You don't own a car down there in the South End

Yeah, I do. You're crazy better every day. You don't own a car down there in the south end do you? You know I do. You're crazy. So what's up Carrie? Okay so my husband has a 1986 Honda Civic CRXSI. It's a great car and we're both not tall people so it fits us well and it's good for the city. Yeah. So anyway we live in a condo in the south end that came with the parking spot. And the parking spot is in a private alley in back of the condo. And there's probably like 20 buildings that back up to it. So there's like 30 cars back there that park there. But the problem is that there's no drainage system in the alley. So over time, this big crater, which we have dubbed the pit of despair, has formed.

And every time that it rains or it snows it fills up with water and just to give you an idea how big it is, the lake is approximately like three to four CRXs in length and like one and a half in width and the depth, when I, this is a problem, when I drive through the water. The depth is about two CRXs. Exactly. Well the water comes up to the top of the to the top of the tires. Not the top of the tires? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, the top of the tires. Yeah. So all you can see is an

inch of tire? Barely, yeah. I mean it's awful. Oh that's a lot of water. It's a lot. Well we've had a lot of rain lately. Yeah. Okay. So every time I need to drive to go somewhere I have to drive through it to get out of the parking spot and back in. And so steam is like billowing because I'm going through when the engine is hot, I'm assuming. And I think it's starting to affect the brakes. And the reason that I'm calling in that my husband

is that he is actually working for a company in Los Angeles. So the car is my responsibility now. I thought you were gonna say, he's got the scuba stuff on and he's out there right now trying to get his lunchbox out of the car is my responsibility now. I thought you were going to say he's got the scuba stuff on and he's out there right now trying to get his lunch box out of the car. No, you're a perfect candidate for the Jesus shoes. Do you think they make tires like that too? No, but the guy with no invented shoes which enable him to walk on water.

That was Chalk's brother-in-law. It was Chalk's brother-in-law, yeah. He invented what he called Jesus shoes. And they were like these giant pontoon type things that you put your feet into and you could then, a la Jesus, of course, walk on water. I could use some of those. That way you could then, a la Jesus, of course, walk on water. I could use some of those. Yeah. That way you could park somewhere else.

Exactly. But at least I could walk through the alley. And I can't even do that now. Well, as the hole gets deeper, you will run the risk of sucking water into the engine, which will kill it. Yeah. And that's the, that's, that'll be, it'll be one gulp.

And boom, the thing will just stop running. And I'll be like in the middle of the lake, right? And you'll be in the middle of the lake, you'll have to stand on the roof of the helicopters that have to come and rescue you. Or, unless you have the Jesus shoes. Exactly, exactly. Well, so what I'm wondering is,

signs that I should be looking for, I'm starting to feel it in the brakes, I think. The brakes. Well, the brakes certainly. They won't care really, except that they will rust a lot faster. Yeah. And for a little while, they won't work, except that they will rust a lot faster yeah and for a little while they won't work with you just drive through and then start driving you can't pump it a little bit when i get out to

get it going but um... how many people drive through the pit of despair alike thirty well call thirty-five but there a lot of people have those fancy shmancy like for utility vehicles and they're just bombing right through it well how about you talk to them? I mean if you have trouble organizing this little group my brother can help you with this. I knew you were going to ask me. No I can't help you with this because I live on the street of despair. My street looks like it was taken right out of Bosnia. Well I knew you were going to ask me about organizing the neighbors. Forget it.

And this is the problem. Yeah. You know, there's like 20 buildings that back up into it. So it doesn't mean 20 owners. It means probably like 80 because they're all separate condo units. Oh, so it's like 10 bucks a piece to fix it. Right. It's cheap.

That's not the problem. The problem is that you have to do it legally. You have to get everyone's agreement on it and we can't seem to do it. You have to do it at night. That's why God made darkness. Because all the various things. After we turn on the cover of darkness. When the cat burglar strikes, the middle of the day? Of course not. Dead of night. I mean all you need to do is get yourself a ton or so of pebbles. been done and trotting there unique kong

we do need concrete you need you know what if we don't get okay if we don't get our neighbors to agree to it and there's still no drain to the water has nowhere to go it's going to go into the bottom unit and they're gonna see me not if they don't know that you did it that that's the advantage of doing this stuff at night. And you don't think they'll notice if we're like putting concrete in the middle of the lake?

No, because they'll be sleeping. The truck comes, concrete's quiet, it just kind of slides out of the truck. And you go out there with a thing called a screed, which is basically a long two by four, and one of you on one side and one on the other, and you just kind of level it out, and by the morning, it'll be like concrete. Better yet. The thing is, we can probably use the water that's already there in the lake to mix the concrete. Yeah, and then you could cover it up with dirt so it doesn't even look like you did anything.

It's just that the hole now, instead of being three feet deep, is only three inches deep. I mean, if the people that live on that street are relying on a crater to keep their basement apartments from getting inundated, then that's pretty ridiculous. That's true. Well, that's too bad. Yeah. You have to fill it in. I know.

And you're going to take it upon yourself. You're going to do things unilaterally. You can't rely on democracy. Okay. Because trust me, you will never, ever, ever get the neighbors to agree. I know. I'm never going to get everybody. And when you do get 99% of them to agree, one

of them will be some screwball lawyer who will... There is one. Of course there is one. And he will hold out on constitutional grounds and you'll have to kill him. And then what will happen is the other people that had agreed to do it will drop out one by one because why should he benefit if he's not paying he's not paying I'm not paying if he's not paying I'm not paying he's not paying next thing You know you're gonna end up paying for the whole thing That's why you could solve the whole problem by doing the whole thing right now do it yourself That's true. I know the guy that's got the truck

See you Carrie And I know about this stuff, believe me. Oh yes you do. Well you've wasted another perfectly good hour listening to Car Talk. Our esteemed producer is Doug the Subway Fugitive Berman. Our associate producer and Dean of the College of Automusicology is Ken Babyface Rogers. Our assistant producer is Catherine Crystal Ray.'s and directly back from a big big all the nashville to national and our engineers jonathan superhighway side burns marston our technical spiritual and menu advisor is mr john s lauler

he's heavily armed i understand our public opinion pollster is paul murky of murky research assisted by statistician margina vera our director of new product repair is Warranty My Foot, assisted by our customer care representative Haywood Jabuzov. Our staff butler from the Kartok Mumbai Division is Mahatma Kot, our document security expert from the island of Jamaica is Euripides Uppman, and our director of desert food supplies is Sandy Berger. The former president of our auto parts division is George Bush. Peekaboo Street directs our intensive care unit, which is now known as the peekaboo ICU. Our junkyard manager is Ricardo Desmanto Bonn, our director of moral support is you demand and our Leo Tolstoy biographer is Warren Peace, author of Leo Tolstoy by

Our chief counsel from the law firm of Dewey Cheatham and Howard Hugh Lewis. Dewey known among the unemployed Russian lit majors in Harvard Square as Huey Louie Dewey. Thanks so much for listening. We're clicking clack to tap your brothers. Don't drive like my brother or my sister. Don't drive like my brother or my sister. We'll be back next week.

Bye bye. Now, with a very important announcement, here is Car Talk Plaza's Chief Mechanic, Mr. Vinnie Gumbatz. All right, now, if you want a copy of this week's Car Talk Show, which is number 11, the number is 1-888-AHHHHH, car junk. And what if somebody wanted other car things, you know, like the CDs, the T-shirts, what would they call that very same number thing? No, you call the number on the bumper sticker that says, 1-800-HOW'S-MY-DRIVE, jerk!

Of course you call the same number, 1-888-CAR-JUNK, or you can get stuff through the online Shameless Commerce Division at cartalk.msn.com, you know? I don't think that you've been practicing your restful visualizations lately. Hey, visualize this, you know? I don't think that you've been practicing your restful visualizations lately. Hey, visualize this, you jerk. Ha ha ha ha! Car Talk is a production of Dewey, Cheetah, and Howe, and WBUR in Boston. And even though Daniel Schorr pines for the Nixon days whenever he hears us say it, this is NPR National Public Radio.

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