The Best of Car Talk - #2534: Uncle Know it All

Episode Date: April 29, 2025

Scott has an ex-aerospace industry relative who's affectionately referred to as 'Uncle Know-it-all' and has been telling Scott that he's driving his car all wrong. Can Click and Clack land this one safely? Find out on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

This is out of her glass. In Lily's family, there's a story everybody knows by heart. If this story had never happened... All of us wouldn't be here right now. Sammy wouldn't be here. Nina wouldn't be here. Wally wouldn't be here. Anyone that we know wouldn't be here. So what happens when Lily's mom tells her the story is not true?

This American Life, surprising stories every week. Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the kinder and gentler division here at car we just want to take a moment at this particular time of year to offer especially this time of year to offer our appreciation to the new kinder and gentler internal revenue service with which we have now had firsthand experience recent experience we had first-hand experience. Recent experience. We had first-hand experience many times. Well, we recently had the privilege at Dewey, Cheetah, and Howe of being audited.

Now, it probably had nothing to do with the fundraising suggestions that my brother's been making around the country. You know, the pledge form is blank, you fill in the amount. I thought it was brilliant. I thought they'd agree with it. The IRS doesn't care. You can tell them you is blank you fill in the amount You can tell him you know you donate anything you want yeah, I'm sure they knew it was a joke it was a joke I mean we were a little nervous I have to admit when we went in to see these guys, but we were pleasantly surprised at the gentleness And the kindness. Yes with which we were treated for example my brother and I

Still have at least four fingers on each hand and on one and a posable thumb Yeah, and they did give us a key to the padlocks they put on the door I mean usually they put the padlocks on the door, but they gave us a key. So if you had to get in, you can get in. And they didn't seize our assets. They politely came and walked out with them. Yeah. And the sign that they put on the office door, it says, Do not enter government property. Do not enter. And on the bottom it says, Please. They would never have put the Please before and it's this one really this was this touched me because they were kind

Enough to leave a hundred bucks in each of our savings accounts So we wouldn't have to return the free toasters that we've got Yeah, because if they wipe out the entire bank account which they used to do in the old day give the toaster They give the toaster back. I know it and they said you guys get the toasters. You can keep the toasters They would never have gone in that they seize the toaster But gently yeah, and but they did actually seize the recording studio But they told us that we could use Willie Nelson studio, which they still have And last but not least they were going to impound our cars. Yeah

That's all right at least they they were going to impound our cars yeah till they saw it that's alright they can't keep those anyway if you want to talk to us the number is one eight eight eight car talk that's one eight eight eight two two seven eight two five five hello you're on the air hello hi this is mike i'm calling from virgins vermont no

yes can i tell you a story sure this is exciting do the rest of us have to hear it? Or can you just call Mike like tomorrow and tell him? Can we tell you? When my wife graduated from college, she was a student teacher in Virgins, Vermont. Get out! No kidding. Yeah, I mean, is there some kind of penal institution there? Correctional. Correctional institution. Is there a jail or a prison or something in Virgins? Or is it just everyone is a criminal? I think everyone's a criminal. No, no, there used to be because I taught school for a while in Vermont and the bad boys, the ones...

The bad kids....you never heard from again? Yeah, went heard from again. Went to Virgins. Went to Virgins. Right, we had the training school there. Training school. That's where she taught! Oh. She's gonna be thrilled to know that someone from Virgins can actually dial a telephone. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha in that state, it's a good thing you're ticking off the states with a low population.

I mean, Montana, no problem. Vermont, not too bad. A little close to home, but that's okay. Anyway, Mike. So what's up, Mike? I have a 1993 Cadillac Fleetwood Braum. No kidding! No kidding.

How old are you? Twenty-seven. What are you doing with that car? Did the police know that you bought a car like that and you're only twenty-seven? Yes. Do you have any powder blue leisure suits? No, not anymore. What are you doing with that car? Did the police know that you bought a car like that and you're only 27? Yes. Do you have any powder blue leisure suits? No, not anymore.

93 Fleetwood, okay. 93 Fleetwood, bro. He must have his reasons. 93 Fleetwood, and the problem I'm having is that when I turn the wheels all the way, either to the left or to the right, like pulling into a parking place or making a U-turn, the front end will bounce up and down like I'm going over speed bumps or potholes.

So you're going very, very slowly pulling into a space. You are going slowly? Yes. And when you get to the end of the travel of the steering wheel, Yes. it bounces? Yes. Hmm.

All right. Why are you driving a Fleetwood? I mean, I'm going to use the Ronald Reagan method. If you can't answer the question they ask you, ask another one. Why are you driving a Fleetwood? I think the Cadillac is the best car, and that's just the deal I got. And you're sticking with that story, huh?

The local dealer gave me a heck of a deal on this car. So you bought it new? I bought it used about three months ago. Great. Here's what I think might be wrong with it. What's that? Let me ask a question first before I get myself in too deep. Does it pull to the left or right when you let go of the wheel on the highway?

Not noticeably. I'm assuming that it's in the alignment somehow. Oh no, I think it's... You don't think so? No. Not noticeably. I'm assuming that it's in the alignment somehow. Oh, no. I think it's... You don't think so? No. Think about it.

Fleetwood. See, I'm thinking that one of the wheels, one of the wheels, is not turning right. Nah, that's bogus. I know it is. I know it is. But that's the feeling I'm getting. I'm using all my intuition here.

Here's what you do. Yeah. Take off your white belt. And tie the steering wheel so that the car is making a tight left-hand turn. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Put the thing in gear. Jump out. And you can stand in the inside of the circle and watch what's happening. And watch what's happening. And then if nothing seems to be going on that's too exciting there, you can run to the circle and watch what's happening. And watch what's happening. And then if nothing seems to be going on that's too exciting there, you can run to the outside and see what's happening and then run to the inside and if you're lucky you can jump back in the car.

Should he leave the door open when he's doing this or just the window? I think you leave the window down. Just the window so you can jump back through the window. So you don't lock the keys in it. Ah, that's true. There you go. Exactly. Are you up for this, Mike? I don't know the keys in it. All right, that's true. There you go. Exactly. Are you up for this Mike? I don't know

I will try Alternatively, of course you could get someone else to drive the car in a tight circle I was thinking that might be a good plan. That might be good too. Yeah, okay I'm trying to come up with a scenario. It is the scenario. I'm coming now What do you see that you have a slipping belt? Okay, and because the you know when you turn the wheel all the way to the left, you're asking all the right, you're asking the power steering to produce its greatest amount of assist. And if the belt is slipping, it can ultimately cause the engine to change RPM.

So it slips, the engine RPM goes up, and then it doesn't slip and the engine RPM goes down and power is transmitted to the steering box. Oh, so you think the reason it's bouncing is... It's getting little shots of power from the engine and that's causing it to oomph oomph to jerk ahead and of course, and that's what's causing the bouncing is that he's got his foot on the brake at the same time and the car is nosing. Okay, you've got your foot on the brake, you're in gear, you've got the wheel cut all the

way, so I think that's what's going on. Okay. You need, you ready for this? What's that? New shocks. New shocks? I think so. No, not really.

You might need the power steering belt tightened, but take it to your guy and have him check. Maybe you've got a ball joint that's ready to fall off. I don't know. I mean, you should have someone check out the front end because any time it steers funny, it's potentially dangerous. And you really should have someone check out the tie rod ends, the ball joints and make sure that nothing is falling off. Okay. But that said, I don't think there's anything to really worry about. I do. But it's worth it to have it checked. I think something is worth worrying about.

I don't think so. I don't think so. I feel strongly that it's probably okay and you have just a loose belt. Well, have someone check out the front end. I will have someone check out the front end. See ya Mike. And good luck Mike.

Thank you so much. My wife is gonna be thrilled when I tell her. How old are you, 27? Yes. What pray tell are you gonna own when you're old? If you own this car now? A Subaru. That's it. Work backwards. You gotta work backwards. Well, you know, there's a certain wisdom in that. Why wait until old age to buy the car of your dreams? That's true. Buy it now while you have no money. Great! Hey,

Mike, thanks for the call. Thank you. Bye bye. Bye bye. 1-888-CAR-TALK, that's 1-888-227. Oh heck, 888227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hello, this is Tony McCloud from New York.

Tony with an I? Tony with an I. From New York City? From Farmingdale, Long Island. Farmingdale? Long Island right I didn't wait until I was old to have the car of my dreams I have one what is that? It's a 1994 Mitsubishi 3000 GT So what's wrong with it? Well, I get a pulsing in my brakes and I can't attribute it to the ABS system And I took it to two dealerships and And both dealerships told me the same thing,

that the rotors are out of round. Yeah, I agree. Probably true. And they also said that I have lots of brake pad left, so it's not time to change either the rotors or correct the brake problem. However, they gave me two different approaches. Now, when I was a little girl,

my dad was an auto mechanic, and I used to do my own brake jobs. And we always cut cut the road is we always sent them out to get them cut. Yeah, we rarely replace them You have one dealership killing me that I must replace the road is and the others insisting that all I need to do is cut them What do I do? Wow And you knew all about that Wow, you guys were simpler way back then and I used to do a lot of my own work. But I don't know what to do with this car. First of all, the guys who told you it's not time to do anything, I'm not sure that they're

quite right. No, they're- Because, just because you don't need pads- Right. Doesn't mean you shouldn't correct this problem because this is reducing your braking efficiency. Well, that's what I thought. Yeah. Well, it depends how bad the pulsing is.

If you have a very, I mean you may be a very sensitive footed driver and you may be feeling a pulsing that isn't really too serious. On the other hand, let's assume it is serious. And let's assume that something has to be done with the discs. Because these discs on this car do not have a wheel bearing set up like your old car, it's very difficult to put them in the lathe and get them true okay so you can do that and sometimes you find out that the pulsing is worse when you're all done see now they suggested to me that they would put the car on a lift and they would actually cut the rotor

while it on the car yes they can do that oh this this car is front-wheel drive yes do that for the fronts but they can't do that for the backs but you may only need the fronts done. Yeah I think they told me it was the front that was the problem. And if the disc is not in bad shape, if it isn't all pitted and pockmarked. Then this will work. It will work fine and it's somewhat cheaper than buying a new one. Did they give you prices? I think they said a hundred and seventy some art dollars to have them cut and replace the break that was well over four hundred to do it the other way all that you should do the first choice

but you're basically telling me that they think they about three hundred dollars at the top of our car that's the last of the so what and i'm right now but the i a r s is all over the country so that i think that don't i want to talk about that that that that that that that that that that that that IRS is all over us like a cheap suit! We need some dough! Don't send the checks and cash! Well I wouldn't be too worried, I mean I wouldn't run out tomorrow and do this, but if you do do it, have them machined. Because I think that will obviously save you a lot of money and it should be pretty good. On the other hand, when you do machine them and you make

them thinner, they have less heat dissipating capability and you increase the chances that they're gonna walk again especially if you drive like a maniac which we know you do otherwise you wouldn't have this kind of bring that up your children may be listening that's right that's why you're driving like a nut so i should stay out a Farmingdale Long Island. Absolutely. No, you should come and visit. No, I'm gonna stay clear. Thanks Tony. We'll call you from the ferry. We'll call you from Orient Point. Okay, great. Thank you so much. See ya Tony. Bye. She's nuts. Oh yeah, she's out. Hey, don't go anywhere because we've got a lot more calls, well a few anyway, and the puzzler answer coming up right after this. Want to know what's happening in the world?

Listen to the State of the World podcast. Every weekday we bring you important stories from around the globe. In just a few minutes you might hear how democracy is holding up in South Korea or meet Indian monkeys that have turned to crime. We don't go around the world. We're already there. Listen to the State of the World podcast from NPR. There was Barbenheimer summer, then Bratz summer. What will this season bring? Maybe it's the season of actual good superhero movies like the Fantastic Four and Superman. For a guide to the movies and TV we're most excited about this summer, listen to the Pop

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And here's the answer to last week's… The long awaited answer we might say. Boy oh boy, I've been waiting. What was the puzzle? I don't remember. Let me refer to my notes. Imagine if you will, a long, long freight train. You know what the kind you always see out west.

Yeah. 750 cars. 750 cars, you can spend your entire vacation. That's why people get killed by those trains because if you get stuck waiting for one You could spend a half a lifetime. It's it's it's worth shortening your life. It's worth it. Take a trot at it Anyway, imagine that the imagine this is a scenario. What goes through people's minds? They say what am I gonna do ruin my whole vacation waiting for this train? No, I think I would just get killed instead Okay I think I would just get killed instead. Okay. Anyway, imagine this.

It pulls into the train yard and it stops so that the train workers can go for a haircut or something. I don't know. Train stop for no apparent reason, as we all know. Anyway, they get back in, the engineer opens the throttle and the train starts to pull away from the yard. As it begins to pull away, somebody realizes that the caboose has a problem. No coffee.

No, the brake is frozen on one of the wheels and the wheel is being dragged along and there are sparks and smoke and all kinds of nasty stuff. And someone standing on the, you know, on the yard, the train yard, manages to signal to the engineer and he stops the train. Yeah. Well, they can't fix it, so they decide to just uncouple the caboose. So they remove it, and they give the engineer the go ahead. Go ahead, they say. He gives it the throttle.

The train doesn't move. He gives it more throttle. Still doesn't move. In fact, the wheels are spinning. On the engine? On the engine. Well, the other wheels aren't spinning, because what? They're just sitting there. They ain't moving. No. Now there's nothing wrong with any of the remaining cars and there's nothing wrong with

the engine. But there is something wrong with the engineer. The question is, what's happening here, baby? Yeah. Actually, didn't we use this puzzle once before? No, I don't think so. I think we did. No, I don't think so. I think you did. well give us the answer Oh great wise one see the only reason you knew the answer was because you used this one before well I thought I had disguised it sufficiently. You did. When a train is, when a locomotive is pulling cars, each car is attached to the one in front of it and behind it by a coupling. But the couplings aren't rigid. They're in fact sloppy.

So that when the train stopped and started to go, you didn't realize that something had happened before that. When a train, a long freight train pulls into a yard, before it takes off, it will frequently back up to compress all the couplings. And then when it takes off, one car at a time begins to move. And it's quite a while, in fact, before the caboose begins to move. But in this situation, the train was stopped. He did that backing up thing. I failed to mention that in the statement of the puzzler. Another form of obfuscation and nicely done I thought. The train is halted because the brake is stuck and because it's stuck the caboose is in a

sense pulling the train from the other end. So now all the couplings are all stretched out. Yeah. They remove the caboose but the guy doesn't back up. Right. They give him the go ahead. He says, okay, I'll go ahead. So now he's going to pull all 750 cars at once. He's going to try to move the last car while he's trying to move the first car and the train is just too heavy and he doesn't have enough friction between the wheels and the track to accomplish this. So a train can't really pull from a dead stop all the cars that you see behind it sometimes.

If it's long enough, it can't do it. It can't do it. So the little engine that couldn't, couldn't do it. Simple as that. Couldn't do it. You have to apply the rules of incrementalism. You have to pull one car at a time until finally you've got one car, two cars, three cars, and you've moved them all. And once it's moving, of course, you can't stop it because everyone knows. Tricks can't stop for beans. Anyway, who's going to win the new 10th anniversary Car Talk T-shirt this week, Tommy? The winner this week is Oliver Gersh. Get this, he's from Dortmund, Germany. No kidding.

Wow. How do you say real ugly T-shirt in German, do you know? Anyway, for having your correct answer chosen at random, Oliver, from all the other correct answers that we got this week, you're gonna get this wonderful t-shirt that says, celebrating 10 years of bad car advice, and you could be the first one on your continent to have one. Imagine that! Wow! the first one on your continent to have one imagine that Wow the first one to have and you could be the first one on your continent to

use it to wash your floor pretty good good work Ollie anyway we'll have a brand new puzzle coming up in the third half of today's show so don't touch that dial in the meantime we'll take your calls at 1-888-CAR-TALK that's 88888-227-8255 below your own Car Talk. This is Scott. I'm from Chino, California. Hi, Scott. I'll give you a nickel if you can repeat the phone number. Oh, are you kidding me?

I'm thoroughly baffled. You're kidding me. I was over here ciphering. That's why there was a pause on the phone. What did you say your name was? Scott from Chino. Scott, I was so enamored of the name Chino. Chino. So what's up, man?

Well, I have a question for you guys that hopefully you'll be able to resolve this. I have an uncle who we will call Uncle Know-It-All. Uncle Know-It-All. Can we refer to him as UK? Yeah, correct. Okay, Uncle Know-It-All has a late model, I think the 93-94 Ford Thunderbird and at about 45,000 miles the transmission goes out on this Thunderbird.

Oh, wasn't that product justice, huh? So I'm driving a 96 Ford Mustang. Uncle Know-It-All tells me, and I'm not sure where he gets this information, but he tells me anytime I'm not on the freeway, I need to be driving that car with the overdrive off. Because when you're doing city driving, the strain of the stop and go puts an undue stress on the torque converter, thus causing the transmission to go out early. What does Uncle Know-It-All do for a living? He's a doctor.

He's a brain surgeon. He's retired. He spends a lot of time gambling. What did he do? He was in the aerospace industry. He did something for a living. Oh, geez. He built those McDonnell Douglas planes you fly on. on. We don't fly. Thanks for that. Well you know people tend to extrapolate from their from their limited knowledge of certain things. Yeah. We're guilty of that frequently. And uncle know-it-all certainly has done that in this case. I mean he may have been a very well-respected and capable aerospace engineer. Did they offer him early retirement? They did, eh? Is he like 40?

And they're paying him to not come to work anymore. That's right. Right. We'll pay you 70 grand a year to come and we'll pay you 80 if you stay home. Well, no, he's wrong. First of all, completely wrong. Absolutely completely unequivocally without any question. There's no way for him to get out of it. Wrong. That's how wrong he is. You know what? I'm going to dance a jig in celebration. No, the only reason you would not want to be an overdrive around town is that it is somewhat annoying to have the thing do a shift from first to second, second to third, and third to fourth. So you have three shifts

in there, or four shifts, so to speak. But that would be the only reason you'd take it out of that and put it in just D. I mean, for that matter, you could have it in second. If you never went more than 20 miles an hour, you'd be no need to go beyond second gear. Oh, that's freeway speed here in Los Angeles. Right. That's right. So other than that that the transmission doesn't care, the torque converter doesn't care, nor does it really know. Okay. And there's no extra wear and tear on anything by having it shift into overdrive around town. Now the thing is if you're mostly driving at speeds like below 35 around town it will never get into fourth gear in most

vehicles. So whether you have it in DRD with the little box around it or whatever they call it on a Mustang it will never get there if you don't exceed a minimum speed which is usually like in the high 30s and I got you okay anything else he's come up with it obviously this moniker uncle know it all didn't come about from this one little story oh no no it's a well-earned title over many years many of which I couldn't share really well you might have to write to us now is he an uncle on your side or your wife's on my side of on your side

so you never ran into the situation my uncle but it was your but it wasn't one of those deals no no you know it flows through the broad bloodline it does and how do you think you are any feedback well i'm a skeptic but you know i got one at one upon another well that's good

how does your wife referred to you uh... when she's talking to her friends here at the end of the uh... thanks for calling us this bad by right now wife refer to you when she's talking to her friends. Your husband knows it all. Your husband knows it all. Thanks for calling Scott. See you, Scott. Bye-bye. Bye. Now, before we get to the new puzzler, we have to take a short break.

Ah! You're going to refine the new puzzler. That is it. You're going to go through and make sure all the little details are right, subjected to that last rigorous test. No, I'm going to get another donut. We'll be back in a minute. pants and competent criminals in ridiculous science studies and call it, wait, wait, don't tell me because the good names were taken. Listen to NPR's, wait, wait, don't tell me. Yes, that is what it is called.

Wherever you get your podcasts. On the Sunday story from up first, a whistleblower inside the federal government says Doge employees may have taken sensitive data from government systems and covered their tracks. There's really no way to tell what or where that data is now. Listen now to the Sunday story on the Up First podcast from NPR. I'm Jesse Thorne, this week on Bullseye Fat Joe on being a late middle-aged rapper with an 18 year old daughter. She's really looking at me like I'm a dinosaur. She's like, yo dad, come on now. You going where? Stop.

Just stay home, watch Jeopardy. That's on the next Bulls Eye from MaximumFun.org and NPR. Keeping up with the news can feel like a 24 hour job. Luckily, it is our job. Every hour on the NPR News Now podcast, we take the latest most important stories happening and we package them into five minute episodes. So you can easily squeeze them in between meetings and on your way to that thing. Listen to the NPR News Now podcast now.

We're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Clack the Tapper Brothers, and we're here to discuss maybe cars, maybe car repair, and the new puzzler. Now, I'm just going to recite this one because it it was I like the way it was written. So it's perfect as it is. Well almost. Well I can't really just recite. I'll have to mess around with it. This was sent to us from a guy named Bob Powers from Shreveport, LA. Hmm. And I'll just read it and throw in the obfuscations. Yeah the necessary obfuscations necessary I was gonna say it's unlikely that a listener could reach the levels of obfuscation that you can well It's pretty obvious that Robert J powers as well schooled in the in the all really obfuscation department here It is a teenage boy smitten with a teenage girl in his high school freshman class made his feelings known

Overjoyed at finding them reciprocated, he took penknife to a young hardwood in the vicinity and carved their initials with a heart five feet up the tree's trunk. Carved their initials within a heart five feet up the tree's trunk. I see the puzzler already. By their senior year, however,

the girl's ardor had cooled. She took her diploma, went away to the big city, and married. The boy crushed was inconsolable. Yeah. Bidding his family farewell, he took his small savings that he got from selling lemonade, bought a bus ticket, went to the East Coast, and shipped out an immediate job on a broken-down freighter. Wow. What a story, huh? Wow. Can you see it now? I can see it, man. went to the East Coast and shipped out an immediate job on a broken down freighter. Wow. What a story, huh? Wow!

Can you see it now? I can see it, man! 25 years later, captain of his own vessel, owner of a small freighter fleet, and with a major interest in a few oil tankers, he indulged in nostalgic whim and returned for the first time ever to his old hometown. Wow.

Imagine his joy when he discovered his old sweetheart living there, now a widow. Oh! One thing led to another, the flame reignited, and one day they searched for their tree. Wow. It was not hard to find, it was near a rock, near a river, and they immediately found it.

Now, here's the puzzler. If the tree had added 35% to its height in the first 15 years of his absence, 10% in the following five years, and 2.5% in the ensuing eight years, how far up the trunk did they have to look to find the carving with their initials in it. Oh! Wow! Oh, man! So the facts are that in his freshman year, he draws the heart on the tree. Three years later, she dumps him.

He goes away for 25 years, comes back, and then they go back to the tree, which has added all these different pieces at thirty five percent twenty percent when he returns they go looking for the heart and i'm stating that the tree added thirty five percent to its height in the first fifteen years of his absence ten percent in the following five years and two and a half percent in each of the remaining eight years of his absence okay now these are all percentages of the original height of the course okay so the question very simply is what what

kind of a tree was it why did she dump him in the first place didn't she know he was gonna become a sea captain he wouldn't have if she hadn't dumped him he had something to do you would have married her and right after he graduated from high school he'd have got a job at the hardware store, and he'd have been a boring, like the rest of us, husband. Right. Instead of having been a swashbuckling sea captain. No. So if you think you know where they can find their heart, and you would like to communicate

with us in some manner, you can write a letter to us. And you can mail that letter to Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3500, Harvard Square, Cambridge, Our Fair City, Matt 02238. And as always, you can email us your answer from our website, cartalk.msn.com. Just click on the Talk to Car Talk section. And if we choose your correct answer at random from among the guaranteed to be three answers we correct answers We get this week. You'll get one of our new car talk t-shirts featuring the slogan Celebrating ten years of bad car advice. I feel like to call us the numbers 1-888 car talk. That's 888 double 2 7 25 hello, you're on car talk. Hi, this is Josefa. I'm calling from Anchorage, Alaska.

Josefa? Yes. I love your name. Thank you. So do I. Yeah, they were hoping for a boy, huh? Yeah. Yeah, that's a long story. Like, it's a good thing they weren't shooting for Vinnie. Veneffa would have been funny.

All right, now, we have, I mean, I'm ashamed to say this, but we are all subject to this. I mean, we try, try as we will. Stereotyping? We all stereotype. And now I know that my brother is sitting here saying to himself, now in what way is Joseph wacky? Because she lives in Anchorage And you gotta be wacky somehow and I I am trying then you sound like a perfectly normal person Yeah, don't let that fool you

But in some way you must be wacko because why else would you be living in Anchorage, Alaska? Well, I'll tell you yeah Have you ever been to Anchorage, Alaska. Well, I'll tell you. Yeah. Have you ever been to Anchorage, Alaska? Hell no. Ha ha ha. It's beautiful up here. Uh-huh. Yes.

OK, so what's wrong with your car? And it's not crowded. Yeah, yeah, OK, sure, yeah. All right. That's good, yeah. So here's the deal. Go ahead. I have a 1982 Subaru sedan,udor a little white GLF

Yeah, that is I mean you guys this is not just a car. This is a family member All of this information you're giving us is filling in the unknown in the wacko equation Go ahead. Yes, this is true. So maybe I'll answer it when I give you my dissertation here Yes, this is true. So maybe I'll answer it when I give you my dissertation here This car has been in my life for 16 years. She runs wonderfully. Well, she's like my friend. Her name is Phoebe and I took her into the shop because I heard this so every time I turned on the ignition I heard a flushing sound Coming through it almost sounded like it was coming through the dashboard and my heater stopped working yeah so this sounded like someone was flushing a toilet yeah yeah I did yeah so I took it into the shop and a couple

hours later they called me and said that she has a hole in her number four cylinder and the only way they could fix it is to put in a new engine and it will cost Thousands more than this car is worth Of course, so I'm crushed. It's like they they gave her the death knoll She's got six months to live and I don't want a new car. She doesn't have six minutes. She's dead already So I'm calling you to find a different answer because I don't like the one they gave me. Well, I mean, what's our definition here of death knell? I mean, it sounded like you said simply because this is going to cost thousands more than the car is worth, I mean, there's some embedded rule you have that you never spend more than

the car is worth. Where'd you get that rule? Well, I don't know. I guess it's the people around me are telling me I should not put that kind of money into this car. Now her body leaves a little bit to be desired. You know, she was rusting out. I had to duct tape her floorboard. Duct tape the floorboards. I would have to say it's time to junk it. Because even under the best of circumstances, it's going to be rusted like crazy and it's probably structurally unsound.

So it would be crazy to put a rebuilt engine into this thing. Now alternatively you could find a used engine for a couple of hundred bucks, but not in Anchorage. No, true. I've looked at that. The first thing to determine is whether or not it is structurally sound because the rule about not spending more money than the car is worth is complete hogwash. My brother violates that rule every time I get gas. Every time I get gas, if i fill up the tank

i'm spending more than the car is worth so we know that that rule doesn't apply because it can last for many many years beyond that time but the real question is do you want to waste money on something that's a death trap because rust doesn't hold stuff together and if the if the if the frame is really rusted the car if you hit something it will just it'll collapse it'll fold it just disappear you may

find yourself sitting there in the snow in the snow and no car is gone well I think you're right and you're sort of reiterating what my friends and husband have been telling me I guess I just needed to hear it from you yeah well sorry okay you'll have to move on yeah it's time to move on find a new friend okay and move to point barrow no thanks i'll stay right where i'm at see you later bye bye thank you bye bye bye later but we we i will have to say that as wacko as those Alaskans may be they're all happy Oh, maybe they're just they're just who knows what they are. Yeah She waited and she waited there's no one else to time nothing to do Well, it's happened again. You've evaporated another hour listening to car talk

Our esteemed producer is Doug the subway fug Fugitive, not a slave to fashion, Berman. Our associate producer and Dean of the College of Automusicology is Ken Babyface Rogers. Our assistant producer is Catherine Crystal Ray, back from vacation I might add. Lately, rather lengthy vacation I might add. And our engineer is Jonathan Superhighway Sideburns Marston. Our technical, spiritual and menu advisor is Mr. John S. Lawler. Is he here today? No.

No. No. Our public opinion pollster is Paul Murky of Murky Research, assisted by statistician Margin O'Vara. Our director of new product repair is Warren T. Myfoot, assisted by our customer care representative, Haywood Jabuzoff. Our staff butler from the Kartok Mumbai Division

is Mahatma Kot, our document security expert from the island of Jamaica is Uriperdez Uppman. Peekaboo Street directs our intensive care unit which is known as the Peekaboo ICU. Our junkyard manager is Ricardo Dismantle Bond. Our director of moral support is You Demand. Our sexual harassment counselor back from a lengthy mandatory leave is Pat McCann. And of course our real Tolstoy biographer is Warren Peace, author of Real Tolstoy by Warren Peace. Our chief counselor from the law firm of Dewey Cheetahman Howe is U. Louis Dewey, known to the other phenomenologists in Harvard Square as Uee Louee Dewey. Thanks so much for listening. We're Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers.

Don't drive like my brother or my sister. Don't drive like my brother or my sister. We'll be back next week. Bye-bye. And now with a very important announcement, here is Car Talk Plaza's Chief Mechanic, Mr. Vinnie Gumbatz. Vinnie? And now with an important announcement, I'm here, you know, man. If you want a copy of this week's Car Talk Show, which is number 15, the number is 1-888-CAR-JUNK. And if someone wanted other Car Talk paraphernalia, you know, for example CDs or T-shirts, would

they call that very soon? Yeah, they'd call Tara Lipinski paraphernalia, you know, for example, CDs or t-shirts, would they call that very soon? Yeah, or you'd call Tarla Lipinski on her cell phone, you dope. Of course you'd call the same number. 888-CAR-TALK, or you can get stuff through the online shameless commerce division at cartalk.msn.com. All right, Vinnie, would you just repeat after me, I'm breathing in relaxation and I'm breathing out tension. Hey, breathe this jump.

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