The Best of Car Talk - #2537: The Bro

Episode Date: May 10, 2025

Nancy's hubby has finally gone too far with his car gadget hobby. He's constantly taking an oversized undergarment on and off the front of his Acura. Click and Clack attempt to lift and separate the v...arious underlying issues on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:01:01 You help make NPR shows freely available to everyone. We are proud to do this work for Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the Department of Excuses department here in Car Talk Plaza. Now, this is the time of year when we begin to see tourists here in our fair city, and even though we move the garage like every two weeks to avoid the internal revenue service, people find us nevertheless. And they always come into the garage and I know who they are.
Starting point is 00:01:49 They have the cameras around their necks and I go over and greet them. They don't have a car. They don't have a car. They're not driving either. And I go to meet them and I introduce myself. Hi, I'm Ray. Welcome to the garage and our fair city. And after noticing the look of disappointment on their faces, they inevitably
Starting point is 00:02:07 ask for Tom because they figure, geez, he's got to look better than this guy. Yeah, that's true. And because my brother's never there, I feel compelled to make up some excuse. So I would say something like, he's just gone out for coffee. You missed him. Just missed him. Yeah. At which point, they'll say, we'll wait. We'd love a cup of coffee. Where missed him. Just missed him. Yeah at which point they'll say we'll wait
Starting point is 00:02:26 We'd love a cup of coffee. Where did he go? We'll meet him there. So that doesn't work. So then I say well You're not gonna believe this. He just stepped into the bathroom. How long could he be? I said well, you know, he did take in the complete works of honor a de ballzac So he may be tied up for a while. We'll wait. Well, then I started to use the excuse, it's his day off, I figure that's good, right? That'll get you out of trouble. We'll be in town all week. We'll come back tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:02:50 And I'm getting sick of making these excuses. I can't take it anymore. I just can't take it. It's wearing me down. So what do you propose? I'm going to tell everyone you're dead. I just say to everyone, he ate a kielbasa bomb off the coffee truck yesterday and we found
Starting point is 00:03:07 him dead at the kitchen table and that's it. Don't ask for him anymore. He's not here. It's brutal. Well, I know it's difficult. I'm sorry that it has to happen. I'm sorry that you have to be the front. There should be a designated day where you show up at the shop and just hang around.
Starting point is 00:03:21 Or maybe we could do a cardboard cutout. People probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Yeah. Anyway if you want to... Thanks for covering for me. Yeah yeah. Appreciate it. Yeah get out of the bathroom. If you want to talk to us the number is 888-CAR-TALK that's 888-227-825. Hello you're on Car Talk. Double five. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Mita and I'm calling from Austin, Texas. Mita? Mita. M-I-T-A?
Starting point is 00:03:49 M-E-T-A. M-E-T-A? Yes. Mita? Yes. Isn't that charming? Yeah, well, it is. Would you like to meet a woman from Texas? Oh, you're so funny and will you sing lovely reader meter made?
Starting point is 00:04:04 Because I never hear that either What kind of a name is meter? It's kind of a joke from the 60s. I guess it is. No, I'm kidding It's supposedly Greek meter you pronounce it meter. I do that's why my mother pronounced it. I could be saying it wrong She's the one who's chosen my name, right? So I can pronounce it. Actually my dad's from New York and he calls me meter He said I named you that to get up quite anything i want uh... they don't so i can't get so he was in on it so i think that i think that so anyway what's
Starting point is 00:04:35 up nita well i have a nineteen ninety two mitzvah bc expo i've had the break down on it two or three times and most recently now it the car kind of vibrates Wow, just slightly when I'm just above 60 but then when I go to apply the brakes the car really shakes a lot when I'm depressing on the brakes and my husband thought that perhaps it was like like a strut and I didn't know if there was still a problem with the brakes because as I'm applying the brakes,
Starting point is 00:05:07 I'm still feeling a little bit of a grinding. Aha! Has anyone looked at this car? Hopefully they had their eyes open when they were installing the brakes, so that's up for question. And how long ago did they do that? Probably about eight months ago.
Starting point is 00:05:24 And it was okay for a while? Yes. Now I think that one of the new discs they put on is warped. Yeah. Oh, a warped disc he says. Yeah. A warped disc he says. Oh, right?
Starting point is 00:05:37 Well, I will explore that avenue then. Well, I mean, it's a classic symptom. I'm surprised. I mean, if you had gone back to these guys and explained this to them, I think they would have jumped right on that. Well, see, I wasn't sure if it was a break thing or if it was something like this threat,
Starting point is 00:05:52 which was not even at all involved, and I'm a little distrusting. Oh, so you, I, I, I. Always the issue, isn't it? It's, well, you know, I trust you guys. Do I go back and blame? Who do you blame? You didn't go back because you were afraid
Starting point is 00:06:05 that they were going to attribute this vibration to something else which would cost you money to replace. You know, it's like you know me. Yeah. Yeah, well, I mean, this is dangerous, actually, because what if this was something terribly dangerous? You waited all these months to do something about it because you're afraid of...
Starting point is 00:06:23 I'm not sure what you're afraid of. Here's what you do, Meeta. Go back to these guys. They're going to ask you to fill out a repair form. Okay. When you do that, do not give them a phone number. Okay. Okay? Just tell them about your complaints and tell them they did the breaks and you
Starting point is 00:06:36 would expect that if one of the discs was wrong, that they would in fact replace it free of charge and they should agree to that. But do not, under any circumstances, give them a phone number. Or give them the wrong phone right that way they can't call you and say oh you need struts and da da da da da da so it can't cost you money if they can't reach you and tell them don't do anything unless you call me so do i indicate to them my suspicions that the disk is worth yeah tell them that both your husband and your boyfriend think it's a warp disk that both your husband and your boyfriend think it's a war pisc. Yeah. All right?
Starting point is 00:07:05 Very good, thank you so much. See you, Amita. Okay, bye bye. Bye bye. 1-888-CAR-TALK, that's 888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Oh, hi guys, my name's Ted from New York, Flushing, New York. Hey, Ted. Hey.
Starting point is 00:07:20 You didn't have to tell us where you were from, we could tell. You can, why? Why? Because you sound like you're from New York. Oh, we don't all sound alike. Yes, you do. What's going on, Ted? Well, I have a little problem with my van.
Starting point is 00:07:33 I bought a Dodge van in 91. It's a customized van. This is a full size. This is like a B250 or something? Exactly. A B250. Gotcha. And it's nice. of b two fifty or something that took exactly a b two fifty and uh... it's it's not that the pv and you know captain's chairs and i'll
Starting point is 00:07:49 fold down rear seat fold into a bed and stuff like that and what do you know camping in central park with this well uh... uh... that's the even by the party you got to do it i like the way you think you've got to look at it you pay you could go up from the
Starting point is 00:08:10 never get to you guys anyway the band has a little bit of a problem when i from the first day i got it uh... it was raining when i picked it up as you're writing in the rain for first five minutes everything is fine but then you start getting this wobble not a wobble like a physical wobble but a
Starting point is 00:08:28 a sound wobble like like a go walk a walk a walk a walk a walk a walk a and i i took my mechanic and i says what do you think it is so it is all it's probably water inside the the between the body in the floor you know the outside body in the floor to plan put up on a lift,
Starting point is 00:08:46 and sure enough, there were some weeper holes there, a little bit clogged up with paint, he drilled them out and water came out, and that was the end of it. Really? But you would hear this, would this be in step with the speed of the car, this wonka, wonka, wonka? In other words, if you doubled your speed from 10 miles an hour to 20, would it go from wonka, wonka to wonka to wonka wonka wonka wonka? Kind of, yeah. Kind of like that. And did you ever experience vibration? No. Okay. No vibration. Continue the story. Okay. So we, the van was fine until it rained again and after five minutes sure enough there would be that wonka wonka sound. So I took it back to my friendly mechanic and he put it up on the lift and lo and behold there was no
Starting point is 00:09:28 water nothing but it was just annoying it really didn't affect the driving or the steering or anything wonka wonka wonka well it you know if you take a wash tub an old-fashioned sure and you know and you look the water slosh back and forth no no it's not a slosh. It's more like a, you know, like a... It's what you get by shaking a piece of sheet metal. There you go. That's exactly what it sounds like.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Oh, that sound! Oh. And is it constant? Yep, but it's a little bit more pronounced when you hit a bump. A little more pronounced when you hit a bump, but only when it rains. Well, wow. I remember there were some Buicks and some other GM. Pontiacs. Buicks Pontiacs but I first heard about Buicks that had a problem with an exhaust system that was that was a shielded pipe or a heat shielded pipe and it was a I believe was
Starting point is 00:10:23 the pipe that led to the catalytic converter. That sound. Okay. And what would happen when the thing got heated up it would expand but then if you drove the thing through a puddle for example and got the outside of it that is that part of the wrapping of the pipe cold it would begin to contract and it was the movement of one pipe against the other that would make that
Starting point is 00:10:45 wonka wonka sound. Oh. And I would try an experiment. I would try getting the thing hot, getting the car hot and you get out your garden hose. You don't have to be moving to do this. You don't. This is good because it would be tough to do what my brother's going to suggest. Oh okay.
Starting point is 00:11:03 I want you to hose down the exhaust system from underneath. Let the engine get good and hot. Okay. And then sprinkle the hose on it. Now you have to be moving to get the noise. Yeah, we just standing, well. You might not have to be moving.
Starting point is 00:11:19 You may be able to get a hint of it by doing what I suggested, by hosing down the exhaust system. And if you can do that and get a hint of it by by doing what I'd suggested by hosing down the exhaust system and if you can do that and get a hint of it then you'll know it must be exacerbated by by the vehicle moving sure I think I should give that a shot give it a shot and your wife can always strap you to the underside of the vehicle and drive along yeah good Ted. Why thank you so much. The pleasure's on you too. See you later. Bye bye now. Bye bye. See you later. Okay now before we give the answer to last week's puzzler we have to take a short break. Yeah my brother's doughnut gauge only since a quarter full. We'll be back in a minute.
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Starting point is 00:13:24 the NPR Politics Podcast, available wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, click and clack the tappet brothers. And here is the answer to last week's puzzler. What was the question? I'm glad you asked. I have to do with me. Yeah, you know, I called you. Yeah, you go I needed to get told right because my car broke down right and here it is many many years ago I really want to remember a late night phone and I'm proud of myself. I Receive this late night phone call from my brother and I know it's one of two things either his wife threw him out He needs a place to sleep or his car is broken down. Or both.
Starting point is 00:14:08 It's his car he says I need help do you have a rope to tow with I say yeah sure I'll be right there so I watched Ted Koppel tonight show. That's because you didn't ask me where I was. I had to call you three times. I take a shower. I'll be right there he says and he hangs up. Wait a minute you don't know where I am. I make a sandwich and then finally after the third phone call I decide to head out and give him a hand. Anyway I arrive with my car tow rope in hand. He's asleep in the car of course snuggled up with one of his favorite raccoons and he tells me what's wrong with his car and I say, I can't tow you, you knucklehead. And he says, we only have a few blocks to go. I'll tow you. I say, huh?
Starting point is 00:14:52 But he's right. What's wrong with his car? Don't forget, he's the one that broke down and he's gonna tow me back? How could this be? How could this be? Well, what's wrong with his car? And the reason I can't tow him with the. Oh him with so good. It is so good
Starting point is 00:15:07 I know I used it before I never would have let a good one like this you never use this before Never Dougie says no Absolutely, we can do my memory there were two people on the in the universe on whom we can rely One is dead. Yeah, and the other is Murray Priceler. Exactly right. Call them up. Right? Oh yeah, that's right. Murray may have it on tape. And I know Dad does, because he's what? He's keeping 3M in business.
Starting point is 00:15:33 Anyway, the reason he can tow me and I can't tow him is that his brakes have failed. And because I have a rope, if I tow him, when I stop, he's going to slam into me. But if rather he tows me, when he needs to stop, he can signal me, and by my stepping on the brakes, I will stop him as well. Pretty cute, huh? That is very, that's very good. And our winner is- I mean, that qualifies as a superb puzzler.
Starting point is 00:16:02 I wouldn't get carried away. Because the answer is so obvious as soon as you hear it that you say, Mamma Mia! Mamma Mia! Both come and say it! Do we have a winner? Yes! Who is our winner? Oh, here it is. Oh! Oh, another name I can't pronounce. Marion
Starting point is 00:16:20 Freywald from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. And for having her correct answer chosen at random from among both of the right answers, Marion Froywald from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. And for having her correct answer chosen at random from among both of the right answers that we got this week, Marion is going to get our unencumbered by the thought process coffee mug. Oh, on one side it has my motto in Latin, non impediratione cogitationes. And on the other hand, the English translation, which is, huh?
Starting point is 00:16:49 Unencumbered by the thought process. And we had to consult with many, many Latin scholars before we got this wrong. I wonder if it's right. Non impediti ratione cogitationes. Well, you know, I like it. The real experts never come out of the woodwork until you put the thing in print. And then they say, that's not right. So hey, drop us a line. We can take it.
Starting point is 00:17:18 And drop dead. Anyway, we'll have a brand new puzzler coming up in the third half of today's show, an automotive puzzler I might add, so don't touch that dial. In the meantime, we'll take your calls at 1-888-CAR-TALK. That's of course 888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Yeah, this is Mike Scott out of Oatmoggy, Oklahoma. Hi, Mike. Hey, no last names from where?
Starting point is 00:17:42 Oatmoggy, Oklahoma. Okay, Oklahoma would be good. No, no, spell it for me. I'm trying to learn about the geography of this country. Okmulgee. Okmulgee. Wow, that's cool. It's up there close to Telequah and Potawatomi and all this. Okmulgee.
Starting point is 00:17:59 And we're in Oklahoma, I mean what part of the state? What does it matter? That's just curious. The northern part of the state, just south of Tulsa. South of Tulsa? I mean what kind of a word is that? Is that like an Indian word of some kind? Yeah, it's creek.
Starting point is 00:18:12 It means boiling water. Boiling water Oklahoma. You got it. Cool. That is okay, you know? That's the slogan. I love it. So what's going on, Mike?
Starting point is 00:18:22 Well, I've got this 85 Cadillac Seville Uh-huh. Yeah, I bought this about a year and a half ago and just first extra transportation goes got too many cars and kids and what-have-you in the family. Yeah and Found out that this car was wasn't using oil, but it was going through a quart of oil about every hundred hundred fifty miles I came back from from toss one evening and uh... daughter wanted to borrow the car to go to our shopping in poor impure no boggy called bali world uh...
Starting point is 00:18:54 and anyway which he got back to get the cars making a funny noise well somewhere between my house and the store and back tailpipe realm manifold to come loose and since that time, 2,000 miles later, it hasn't used a drop of oil. Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Starting point is 00:19:13 I'm trying to figure this out, why it has quit using oil. So the tailpipe is still loose? Not the tailpipe, it's the header pipe. Yeah, right. Came loose, the head pipe came loose from? From the manifold. Right. I love it, I got it. You do got it
Starting point is 00:19:26 I think what happened is this oh? Thank you. This car had a leaky head gasket Okay, that's where the oil was coming from a leaky head gasket when the pipe broke away from the manifold didn't break away completely But it separated enough so that it was spewing hot exhaust gas onto the area where the gasket was leaking and it like cauterized it. It sealed it right up. Well... Grant, you come up with something. Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:20:09 Go ahead. It's good. I'm going to go with it. I'm going to go with it. Come on, huh? No, I can't do better than that. No, of course not. Well, I can't do better than that.
Starting point is 00:20:24 I mean, obviously, whatever... I mean, if we're going to assume that both of these incidents are related. Which we have to because Mike swore to it. He swears to it. Mike swears to it. Right, Mike? I mean, it has even gotten better gas mileage up going from... Now, let's not get carried away.
Starting point is 00:20:38 Let's not complicate it. Well, the better gas mileage is understandable too because you have less back pressure in the system, so it would improve your mileage. Yeah, that would do that. So it all fits together. So, I mean, the pipe is still disconnected. Yes. Sort of.
Starting point is 00:20:50 It's like hanging there. It's not too badly disconnected. The motor's not too loud. Well, it may be that you could fix this leak, and now the oil consumption will stay where it is. Yeah, I mean, so I would tighten that up, that clamp, and see if the oil burning stays away. Okay.
Starting point is 00:21:07 Yeah. I had my own theory on this. Oh, you got one too? Is it as good as my brother's? I think it might be better. Okay, go man. Holy cow, let's hear it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:18 Well, I was thinking that since it has a blow by valves where you are re-burning the fuel. That maybe the PVC valve was clogged up. And by this coming undone the pressure has been relieved and before there was so much pressure it was probably blowing through a leaky gasket or something. No, that wouldn't do that. No, I don't think so. Although that sounds very good, the pressure is in the wrong place. All right. I think. Yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:21:52 Unfortunately, Mike, even though you've given this considerable thought, I can move my answer unencumbered by the thought process. I think mine has a slightly better chance of being true. Yeah. All right. As lame brain as it sounds I'm Sticking with the leaky head gasket. Well, no when you fix the exhaust leak Let us know what happens to the oil consumption Oh, I will because I was just worried that if I fix the tailpipe to make it run quieter that I was gonna go back To the oil problem. Well, you can always loosen up the motor you don't have to take a chance. You can always disconnect it again.
Starting point is 00:22:27 Oh yes. Oh yeah. I would. Hey, thanks for calling Mike. Good luck. Thank you for your help. See you later. All right. Bye-bye. 1-888-CAR-TALK, that's 888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hello, my name's Nancy. Nancy. And I'm calling you from Meriden Connecticut Nancy we can tell you in advance yes do whatever you want well then I'm gonna take it off okay but no no no no I'm I'm married to a wonderful man for almost 49 years.
Starting point is 00:23:05 However, he has a terrible weakness. Young girls? No, never mind. I'm sorry. No, I think he's given up on those two. Too old for that. He's a gadget lover. Ah.
Starting point is 00:23:17 And he's been giving me gadgets ever since 1949. for since nineteen forty nine and and my problem is we have and nineteen ninety six acura and he decided that he's going to protect it by putting what i'm gonna call it nude on it because i don't like the word you know bro colin bro all right i'll go with
Starting point is 00:23:42 that because i looked at bro anyway the first couple of times he took it off every time it rained because the direction claim that it will uh... is that the damage to the paint yeah how i don't know we should explain what this was the most people don't know what this thing is okay you don't even very well you don't see them very often because they're so
Starting point is 00:24:04 stupid this thing is okay you don't see them very well you don't see them very often because they're so stupid you certainly is basically is a brassiere that covers the front of the nose of the car it covers the nose of the car and you you may have seen people mostly I hate this bad to be BMW BMW's are the ones that you see these on many many times. It's covering the front of the car like a bra. I think it's very ugly myself. It is the stupidest little device I have ever seen. And does it really do the job?
Starting point is 00:24:38 Who cares? I agree. The job of this thing ostensibly is to protect the finish in the front, because it's the first line of defense, so to speak. As you're driving along the highway and all those big semis are in front of you. And all the little stones and pebbles and dust and bugs and whatever is on the road are smashing into the nose of your car, this is designed to protect it. However, the directions claim that if you don't take it off when you wash the car etc etc then you're going to damage the
Starting point is 00:25:10 paint so you've got your kind of doomed if you do and doomed if you don't yeah I don't think there's that much up there to protect I mean what is it protecting the headlights are there the grill is there and there's a little bit of paint and then there's the very front of the wood that i'm going to go out and make sure he takes it right on your to do cut it with a scissors you really have to on i mean if it's ripped you won't be able to use it you were he sure won't surely won't go by another one
Starting point is 00:25:38 almost cost a hundred and fifty bucks up at the wherever it was very expensive but that's alright i'm not going to worry about that don't worry about it That's just another gadget. I know on the other hand. It's not doing any harm to anybody No, and if it's keeping him out of your hair to have him out there putting it on taking it off Yeah, but it's even on well. Thank you. I don't think your husband bought it for the the overt reason of Protecting the front of the car.
Starting point is 00:26:05 What do you think he's talking about? I don't know. There's some deeper psychological meaning to it. I don't think we need to explore this on this show. No, no, I don't think it's that. I think it must have something to do with BMWs. That's what it is! Oh my word. No, no, it has to do with BMWs. Okay.
Starting point is 00:26:20 I think he wants to be a BMW owner. If he tells me the next car we're going to get at the bmw you'll know that i was right um no you people are like a bible for us nancy it's right up pleasure talking and well i was gonna mention something about the victory is a great catalog but i want nancy good luck to lock i'd like to about that before we get to the new puzzle we have to take a short break yet because i can see from the steam coming out of your brain that it's starting to overheat. We'll be back in a minute.
Starting point is 00:26:54 Are you like me suddenly using words like conclave, cardinal, and papa billet in casual conversation? Well, friend, you too may be Pope-pilled. I have a whole list. I was starting with like 25, 30 names, and I was like whittling it down. I'm imagining you like Claire Danes in Homeland, like the full board, like some strings connected. Literally. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:14 For everything you need to know about picking a new pope, listen to the It's Been A Minute podcast today. This message comes from the Kresge Foundation. Established 100 years ago, the Kresge Foundation works to expand equity and opportunity in cities across America. A century of impact, a future of opportunity. More at Kresge.org. Ha! We're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Clack the Tablet Brothers. And we're here to discuss cars car repair and the
Starting point is 00:27:46 The new puzzler yeah, this is a brand new one. It was inspired by a photograph. I saw it in the paper recently No kidding yes. Oh Picture this we discussed this just the other day we did in the green room in the green room Yes, we're one of our endless hours of preparation for the show Yeah, I you know if the truth be known In the green room. In the green room. Yes, during one of our endless hours of preparation for the show. Yeah. I, you know, if the truth be known, that's one of the reasons my brother isn't at the garage when he should be because he's spending 18, 20 hours a week.
Starting point is 00:28:14 Preparation. Preparation. Preparation is everything. People don't understand that. I remember when I was, in the old days, when I was a college professor, and I would teach three hours a week, and people say, you work three hours a week? and people say, you work three hours a week?
Starting point is 00:28:26 No, I don't work three hours a week. I work four. I work one hour a week. Preparation is everything. You think we just walk in the studio? And come on, everyone knows. I remember a few years ago when my brother was about to resign his lucrative professorial
Starting point is 00:28:46 position and he presented the evidence to our father and told him that he was going to leave because it was just too much. And my dad says, well, I mean, if it's too much, couldn't you work instead of five days a week, couldn't you work just two days a, instead of five days a week, couldn't you work like just two days a week? Wouldn't that lessen the burden on you? And Tommy says, I'm only working one day a week now. And he still is incredulous. He doesn't understand.
Starting point is 00:29:14 One day, he walked one day a week. He's mumbled every once in a while. Even today, he mumbles. And he's quitting. I don't understand. One day a week. Well, anyway, here's the puzzler. I'm driving down the highway and I see way up ahead one of those diesel tractor trailers
Starting point is 00:29:31 spewing from its smokestacks the vilest, blackest, thickest, most awkward smoke imaginable. And as luck would have it, I'm closing in on the guy and I realize that after a minute or so that he's pulled over to the side of the road and the thing is running and the smoke is just pouring out. So I pull up next to him and I put down my passenger side window and I say, Hey, knucklehead, you're killing everyone behind you.
Starting point is 00:29:58 Why don't you shut this thing off? And he says, I did. I turned it off, but it won't shut off oh all right yeah I gotta remember the rest of it now because this is very important this is important and I say to him well obviously something's wrong why don't you stall it out he says I't, it has an automatic transmission. And he says, but don't worry in a couple of minutes, the engine will be seized.
Starting point is 00:30:34 And I say, really? And I look at an emblem affixed to the side of his truck and in an instant I know why. What did that emblem say? And there's an emblem affixed to the side of the truck. And part B is what was happening. What did the emblem say? But if you know what the emblem said, you'll know. You'll know what part. It's unnecessary to explain. Exactly. Like they always say, show your work? No, you got the answer, that's good enough. We don't need the work, it's just unnecessary. Or if you saw the same picture in the newspaper
Starting point is 00:31:05 that we saw the other day. Then you'll know the answer. So if you think you know the answer, all the bosses away this week, and your cubicle happens to be near the stamp machine, you can send your answer to Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3500, Harvard Square, Cambridge,
Starting point is 00:31:20 Our Fair City, Matt 02238, or you can email your answer from our website which is www.cartalk.msn.com. Just click on the Talk to Car Talk section. And if we choose your correct answer at random from among all the correct answers, you'll get one of our Unencumbered by the Thought Process coffee mugs. Now wait a minute, before you say the next thing, do you know what the cosine of 79.11590889189 degrees times 10 million is? Sure.
Starting point is 00:31:48 1888-227-8255. That's right. Hello, you're on Card Talk. Hello? Hello. Hello. I'm sorry. Where the heck are you?
Starting point is 00:32:00 I'm in Ulyss, Texas. And this is Kelly. You're in where, Texas? Ulyss. Ulyss. How do you spell that? It's like shoeless, but without the SH. It's like EULESS. ULIS, Texas. What part of Texas is that? It's between Dallas and Fort Worth. Yeah, we've got a fix on you. Yeah, so what's up?
Starting point is 00:32:18 Um, I have a 1989 Buick Park Avenue. It was a gift from our parents-in-law five years ago. Yeah. Since the day we got it and probably before, it does this. All on its own, hot, cold, morning, night. Doesn't matter. It goes... Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and walking out to the garage to pick the kids in the car feet and it's that's doing the and it just like that like it that good morning i just want to make sure i understand your in-laws gave you a five-year-old car
Starting point is 00:32:53 uh... lesson that they work they were trading up so they gave us this car it had a hundred thousand miles on it when they get it the the set the wrong precedent here but i don't know if decide to give me a car, I want it to be brand new. Yeah, that kind of was the... Well, I think it's very sweet of them to have thought of you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:16 Alright, now what was this thing about the... It's like it converses whenever you see the car. Oh, so your premise is that when you're not there It's not doing this no. Oh, no. It's doing it on it There's no way to know of course because of the Heisenberg uncertainty principles right in the tree in the woods theory Exactly you want to know what the noise is I have a feeling it's the fan no it isn't the fan It isn't no what it is It's the auto leveling thing that this car has. This thing has a pump and it has a sensor which
Starting point is 00:33:50 tells the car whether it's level or not. For example if you were to load up the trunk with suitcases you know five or six hundred pounds of suitcases or if you put would have put five hundred pounds of mother's in law on the back seat. I was gonna say this is not an appropriate time. For the mother-in-law story she gave her the car. But if you did have 500 pounds of mothers-in-law in the backseat, then this thing would kick in, this little pump would kick in, and it would send air pressure
Starting point is 00:34:17 to the shock absorbers in the rear, and would actually raise up the rear of the car to make it level again. Okay. There must be a leak in the system somehow It loses pressure Then it will think that the car is unbalanced and it will try to balance it by turning on the pump You could if you chose to if it was easy to find the leak or you could just ignore it
Starting point is 00:34:41 But now that you know that it's something benign Yeah, but it might be running 24 hours a day for all we know. Well, when it begins to run 24 hours a day, then you'll find where the leak is. What's the matter with that guy? Here's my other problem. I have two kids and a husband that won't buy me a new car. How old are the kids? Two and one. Oh, brother.
Starting point is 00:35:04 Tell him it's time for the suburban to say Two and one. Oh brother. Tell him it's time for the suburban to say it for me. Oh it's definitely time. You mean you don't have a suburban, Kelly? And we're from Texas and we don't have a suburban. Anyone from Texas? Everyone in Texas has one. You deserve a suburban. I can see you in a suburban.
Starting point is 00:35:18 Yeah, you're gonna need it with those two kids. Two and one. Yeah. Alright, Kelly. We'd love to stay in chat but it's getting to get on our nerves it's obvious that you're busy oh yeah I agree the kids says I want a suburban I heard them every male listening to your program is gonna say I'm so glad I go to work. Oh, yeah, we know that See you Kelly
Starting point is 00:35:53 Well it has happened again you've wasted another perfectly good hour listening to car talk Yes, we have our esteemed producer is Doug the subway fugitive not a slave to fashion Berman our associate producer and Dean of the College of Automusicology is Ken babyface Rogers our assistant producer is Katherine Crystal Ray and our engineer is Jonathan. Wait, how can you just skip over Katherine Crystal Ray, who happens to do all the work? She does everything. From now on, the credits will read. Katherine Crystal Ray. Our assistant producer is Katherine Crystal Ray. And that's about it.
Starting point is 00:36:19 And we'll start there. From now on. Right, yeah. And our tech, well, and our engineer of course is Jonathan Superhighway Sideburns Marston and of course our technical, spiritual and menu advisor from afar is Mr. John S. Waller. Our public opinion pulser is Paul Murky of Murky Research, assisted by statistician Marge Inovera. Our customer care representative is Haywood Jabuzoff. Our attorney general in charge of tobacco cases is Hubert H. Humvee III. Our director of catering is Russell Upsomgrub.
Starting point is 00:36:49 That's good. And the president of the Cartog Hair Club for Men is Emerson Fittibaldi, who by the way is also a client. Peekaboo Street directs our intensive care unit, which is known as the Peekaboo ICU. Our junkyard manager is Ricardo Dismantlebon. Our director of moral support is you demand our sexual harassment Counselor is Pat McCann and our real toll story biographer is more in peace author of real toll story by more peace Our chief counsel from the law firm of Dewey Chidman how is you Louis Dewey known to the other?
Starting point is 00:37:18 Gucci low-front bums in Harvard Square as you eat Louie Dewey. Thanks so much for listening We're clicking clack the tappet brothers don't drive likeappet Brothers. Don't drive like my brother or my sister. Don't drive like my brother or my sister either. We'll be back next week. Bye bye. And now with an important announcement. Here is Car Talk Plaza's chief mechanic, Mr. Vinnie Gumbach. Hey, that's me, now.
Starting point is 00:37:40 Now, hey, look, if you want a copy of this week's Car Talk Show, which is number 18, the number to call is 1-888-CAR-JUNK. You got that? Yes, and if people wanted other Car Talk things, you know, like coffee mugs and CDs, would they call that same number? No, you called the Menendez Brothers toll-free line, you dope. Of course you call the same number. That's 8888-CAR-JUNK, or you can get stuff through the online shameless commerce division at card talk dot msn dot com.
Starting point is 00:38:08 If any of you are bottling up your feelings again I can tell. Have I told you you are ugly recently? That's better. Card Talk is a production of Dewey Cheetahman Howe and WBUR in Boston. And even though Noah Adams voice goes up an octant every time he hears us say it this is NPR National Public Radio.

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