The Best of Car Talk - #2557: Baby Driver

Episode Date: July 19, 2025

Janet fr Charlotte(or maybe it was Charlotte from Janet?) had a simple question: automatic or stick for her 16 year old daughter's new car? But when Click and Clack find out that the new car is a BMW Z3 M Roadster -it's fireworks time on this episode of the Best of Car Talk. Get access to hundreds of episodes in the Car Talk archive when you sign up for Car Talk+ at plus.npr.org/cartalkLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

It's rare to find a podcast that can actually change your life. But when the show is called Life Kit, that's kind of the whole point. I'm Mariel Segarra. Three times a week on the Life Kit podcast, we guide you through a topic we could all use help with, from personal development to healthy living to managing your dinero with takeaways so you can start living what you learn right away. Escucha el Life Kit podcast from NPR. Hello and welcome to car talk from National Public Radio with us clicking clack the tappert brothers And we're broadcasting this week from the Center for Applied Sociomathematics here at car talk Plaza now This was sent to us by Creighton tray hand from I guess University of Kentucky

And I don't know if he's the author but no one knows who the authors are of anything anymore You just pass it on to put it on your mailing list and it's gone here. Here it is. Go ahead It's that it's about the teaching of mathematics. gone. But here it is, go ahead. Here it is. Go ahead. It's about the teaching of mathematics and how it has changed over the past few decades. Yes. And it gives examples of questions that people had to answer. Teaching math in the 50s. Here's a question.

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is four-fifths of the price. What is his profit? One-fifths of the price. What is his profit? One-fifth. You probably did. You probably did problems like that. Teaching math in the 60s. A lager sells a truckload of lumber for $100.

His cost of production is four-fifths of the price, or $80. What is his profit? Teaching math in the 70s. A lager exchanges a set L of lumber for a set M of money. The cardinality of set M is 100. Each element is worth $1. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set M. The set C, the cost of production, contains 20 fewer points than the set M. Represent the set C as a subset of set M and answer the following question. What is the cardinality of the set P for profit? Did you do those

problems too? Oh yes. Teaching math in the 80s. A lager sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment, underline the number twenty. Teaching math in the nineties. I can't wait. By cutting down beautiful forest trees, a logger makes twenty dollars. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class discussion. How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees? Worth 20 points.

Isn't that interesting? Well, obviously, you're not a mathematician, otherwise you'd appreciate. Set P. If you want us to appreciate your problem or your question or whatever it is, call us at... Or your cardinality. Or your car-dinality. Or your car-dinality. Call us at 888-CAR-TALK.

That's 888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. My name's Paris. I'm calling from Haverhill Maths. Paris? Yeah. Gee, I once knew a guy. Is that a common name?

No. There's a few of us running around here. Hello, you're on Car Talk. My name's Paris. I'm calling from Haverhill Mass. Paris? Yeah. Gee, I once knew a guy. Is that a common name? No. There's a few of us running around. There are. Well, it's a name from Greek mythology. That's what I was named after, actually. So what's up, Paris? Did you ever forgive your parents for giving you this name?

Once I turned about 20, I was actually able to grow into the name. Oh, I think it's a good name. It's a good name if you a good name six four two thirty five what that you six four two thirty five six one two fifteen actually that's good good also not that's close enough yeah i don't have any need to go to mary ellen uh...

that's right so anyway we're from again abham calling from the you call it in byron of the northern Essex Community College campus out here in Haverhill. Haverhill? Oh. Yeah, it's really nice out here. I didn't realize how nice it was until I started going to school here this year. Oh, it's great. So what's up? I got this question, you know, I'm a college student, I'm on a budget. Yeah?

I'm looking at an 88 Nissan Pulsar NX. It's got some cosmetic damage up front, but they're asking 500 bucks for it. They say it runs good, you know? I went to go see it and they said, oh, you can't drive it because we don't have a license plate on it. You can just turn it on and drive around the parking lot. I'm thinking, I don't know if I want to buy something, even if it's 500 bucks, if I can't take it out and open it up. My question to you guys is what sort of basic tests can I do you

know like pulling a plug or whatever to determine the roadworthiness of this thing besides taking it out and really open it up you know it's a stick shift I believe it is a five-speed yeah well I mean my sister was was had a car. Someone actually gave her a Fiat 128. So we went with her to get it. It's in the guy's garage and it has no plates on it obviously because the guy had it there for six or eight months. But it was beautiful because it was what? Dark. So she says, what the hell? What can I lose?

So this is even a better deal than you. It was for nothing. She got it for nothing. So we get in the car and she says, oh, it's a stick shift. She doesn't know how to drive a stick shift. We told her she would learn on the way home. So she drives the car home in the dark. With no plates. No plates. And no experience. And she can't drive a stick shift. So she's driving, we should say, erratically. And unfortunately

she gets stopped by the Lexington Massachusetts police. At which point we jump out of the car and run away. We book. We figure why should all three of us get in trouble? No. We had radio careers to consider. We couldn't be caught with this felon.

So we run away. We hide in the bushes while they read her the riot act, tow the car away and take her away in handcuffs. And while she's doing her best Ralph Cramden, ah-mah-dah-mah-dah. So, I mean, it does make it a lot more difficult if you can't drive it, but there are things you can do, but it's gonna be hard. I mean, for example, will it go on the highway? Well, not being able to take it on the highway, you're gonna have to do a compression test.

But you can certainly test the clutch, by, you know, you know, do that test, you put it in fifth gear, set the handbrake, you'll at the same time discover if the handbrake works and try to drive the thing away. Put the gas pedal like halfway to the floor and let the clutch out. If the clutch is good, the car should stall. If it isn't and you can continue to run the engine with the thing in fifth gear and the clutch all the way out, then the clutch is no good. Right away, you cross it off the list and go look at the next car. If the clutch is okay, you can determine if all the cylinders are firing

evenly in this car by, with the engine running, pulling one spark plug wire at a time. And if you had something like a tachometer, you could actually hook it up to find out how much the RPM drop was, but you could hear it. You could hear it. And it won't tell you that you have good compression It'll just tell you that you got the same compression in all four cylinders, which might be good enough Yeah And also you can look to see if there's a lot of smoke blue smoke coming out the tailpipe when it's first started You can open take the radiator cap off and see if there's anything living in there

Yeah And you really ought to jack up the front and see how bad the front end is shake the wheels back and forth and see if there's anything living in there. Yeah, and you really ought to jack up the front and see how bad the front end is, shake the wheels back and forth and see if the tie rod ends move a lot. Spin the wheels and listen for any wheel bearing sounds. Right. So there's a lot you can do. Yeah.

And you can do it in the parking lot. In the dark. Really? In the dark, right. That's what I'm thinking, you know, I'm kind of coveting this car. It looks really good, in good shape. Yeah, and it's only 500 bucks.

Exactly, you know. But it could, if all these things that you test fail, it could cost $2,000 to fix them. Oh, if any one of them fails, you'd go on to the next car. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. And if you need to drive it at night, call us. We'll accompany you. See you, Paris. Hey, thanks a lot, man.

All right. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. company you. See you in Paris. Thanks a lot. All right. Bye bye. 1-888-CAR-TALK that's 888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Catherine from Seattle. Hi Catherine, what's the scene? I'm not so sure. Seattle is funny there, it's on the line. Maybe it's with a CH. What is it? With a K. See, I told you. Yeah, well you told me, sure. RYN. Hey, I'm calling about a safety issue with my tires. Yeah?

Yeah. And I've got a 94 Ford Explorer, and I've got the tires that came with it. They're Firestone Radials. They started out as four black walls, and I have three white walls now that have slowly evolved from... No kidding! ...either error. Excellent! Really? So you just went out one morning and... BOOF!

There was one white wall. No, they've evolved over years of hitting curbs as I try to park. Yeah. Well, that's interesting. All these started out as white walls and they painted over the white wall. So you've scraped off the black. I have scraped off the black to the point where I cannot even read the writing on the side. Oh, you've really scraped the stuff off. I've pretty much scraped it off.

Is it safe to drive on it? Does it weaken the steel sidewall? It's unlikely. Well, it depends how much you've scraped them and it doesn't, it's not good to scrape the rubber off the sides. My husband tells me that. The sides are a critical part of the tire. I mean do you typically run into curb stones and stuff? It's usually when I'm parking. Oh you know what you need? Curb feelers. Those little wires that stick out? Yeah, the little wire things. They really work?

Oh yeah. Because that thing will hit the curb before the tire does and you'll hear a little scraping, you'll say, what was that? And then hit the tire with the curb. Well, sometimes I hear the tires as I'm scraping them already, so I'm not sure that will help. Yeah, I mean, the tires are old enough that you probably need new ones anyway. Okay. And it's possible that if the blackness has come off because you've scraped it off, you may have done damage to the sidewall.

Okay. And I hate to recommend that you take it to a tire retailer. Oh, gee. And go to a couple of them. That would be the safest thing to do. See, actually, I wouldn't go to a tire dealer. I would go to your mechanic. Okay.

Because he doesn't sell. Hopefully, he doesn't sell tires. Right. And even if he does, they're a smaller part of his business than a tire dealer, so he's got less reason to lie to you. Oh, crazy. And when you go to a tire dealer, they sell what? Nothing but tires.

That's it. You go in and you ask, do I need tires? What are you expecting to say? I may say, ha ha ha ha, you need tires. Are you kidding me? If you got a car, you need tires. Are you kidding me? Have you got a car? You need tires. Of course my mechanic works for a car dealer.

Oh, well, their income from tires is a small percent of their total income. He's more likely to give you a true answer. Let him look at the sidewall, and he's going to look to see if it's cracked or if it's damaged in some way. And tires and sidewalls do get damaged and it's very dangerous when they do. So have someone look at it. And be more careful. I will. Thank you. Alright, Kathy. See ya. Bye bye. Okay, look, it's time to take a short break. Right, and when we come back we will have the answer to last week's preseason puzzler.

We have to give answers to the preseason puzzler? I thought they didn't count. They didn't count. They don't count in the standings. You got 60 seconds to figure out an answer. It doesn't matter if you're a fan or not. We have to talk about season seven of Love Island USA. Brittany Luce It's a huge indication to me of this kind

of generation of people who don't know how to be open and vulnerable. Britney I'm Brittany Luce, and on this episode of It's Been A Minute, I want to show you how reality TV is getting a little too real by revealing what it's really like to date today. Listen to the It's Been A Minute podcast today. These days, there's so much news, it can be hard to keep up with what it all means for you, your family, and your community. The Consider This Podcast from NPR features our award-winning journalism. Six days a week, we bring you a deep dive on a news story and provide the context and analysis that helps you make sense of the news. We get behind the headlines. We get to the truth. Listen

to the Consider This Podcast from NPR. Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, click and clack the Tappet brothers, and we're here to talk about cars, car repair, and the answer to the first preseason puzzler. I can highly... I mean, this is an exciting moment. Ashley, this shouldn't be a preseason. This should be a regular season puzzler. I mean, this is just counting the standings, shouldn't it?

Yeah, but the reason that you called it a preseason puzzler is because it was lousy. Well, it isn't lousy. And it won't get counted. It will not get counted if it's preseason. It will not count on your batting average. But I wanted to count. It will not count on your batting average. I want it to count. It will not count on your batting average. How am I going to negotiate for a bigger contract next year?

Actually, I will preface the answer. Oh, you probably think that it's better than you thought it was last week. No, I knew it was a great puzzler. Oh. I knew it was a great puzzler. A lot of people sent in information relating to this puzzler, but the most authoritative piece of correspondence came from Colonel Larry Hildebrand, USAF retired. Oh!

And I will... Oh! This happened to have been an aeronautic puzzler. So I'm going to restate the question. And then everyone will appreciate who this guy is. Exactly. It was a dark and stormy night. The location is a secret airfield somewhere in England during WW2.

The RAF had summoned one of England's most noted mathematicians to help them solve a problem. I think I mentioned he would remain nameless because… Anyway, they were having a problem, as I'm sure most people were aware, because they were attempting to bomb Germany and the German anti-aircraft fire based on the ground was, you know, inflicting heavy losses on the Brits. Yeah. And their planes were being shot down right and left and the RAF realized they had to

do something to diminish their losses. Now clearly, they could put armor plating on the bottoms of the fuselages and the wings, but there were several problems that came along with this. One, they would have to become ground-based planes because they wouldn't be able to fly. The ones that could would have their range considerably reduced, and of course their ability to carry cargo and bombs and fuel would be diminished because of this additional weight.

Yeah, so they had to be very selective. If they were going to put any armor at all, they had to be very selective. If they were going to put any armor. At all. They had to be very, very selective. So anyway, this nameless mathematician crawls underneath the planes and looks at where the bullet holes are underneath them. Now there are bullet holes all over the place, as you might expect, in the wings and the fuselage and seemingly distributed randomly on the undersides of these planes. He studies hundreds of planes, takes pictures, draws things and whatever, and then he makes

his recommendation. The question very simply is, what armor plating, if any, does he recommend putting on these planes and why? Wow. Now Berman just leapt on this right away and he said the propeller. That was one of your guesses too, if I remember. An armor-plated propeller. Because if the propeller gets shot off, you're a goner.

You're a goner. Better it should weigh six tons. And not be able to turn. Right. At least that way you can be assured that you won't crash, why? Because you won't fly. Because you won't take off.

Well what he noticed was that the planes that returned, the surviving planes, indeed had bullet holes all over the place. But he figured that the ones that didn't return had bullet holes where these planes didn't have bullet holes. Exactly. Right? This is brilliant. I love this. So what his recommendation very simply was, armor plate, the unhit areas that the returning or surviving planes had in common. When he surveyed the undersides of these, he noticed there were a few spots that all of them had in common that had no bullet holes.

And you have to assume that the ones that hadn't returned had bullet holes and that's why they didn't return. They were in the English Channel. Well did they ever return? No, they never return and their fate is still unlearned. Do we have a winner for this preseason puzzler? Did you want to say anything more about the USAF retired general there? Well no Larry Hildebrand in fact sent was one of the ones that sent us this very same puzzler. Oh and did he know the answer? Yes he did. Good for you Captain Major. Colonel Colonel Colonel yes we have a winner it's not him why shouldn't it be him? He won too we'll

send him a flight jacket. The winner that we chose through our random method is John Robertson from Chillicothe, Chillicothe, is that how you pronounce that? Yeah, I would say. Chillicothe, Ohio. And for having his answer selected among thousands of correct answers that we received, John Robertson will get his choice of t-shirts. We have the adult car talk t-shirt, which we've talked about at length,

small, medium, and large to be specific. And now we have the brand new kids Kartalk t-shirt. It's purple and yellow. It's available in little kid sizes and it says Kartalk Kid on the front and on the back it says, Help, my parents make me listen to Kartalk. So it's your choice, John Robinson from Chillicote, Ohio. You can have any one of these that you want. Just let us know. Anyway, we'll have another puzzler coming up later in the show and brand new. Preseason? This is the real season. No

no this is still preseason. The season doesn't start until November. If you want to call us the number is 1-888-CAR-TALK that's 888-227-8255 Hello you're on Car Talk. Hi this is Karen Beaver calling from Yuma Pine Oregon hi Karen I have a problem Yuma Pine Oregon yeah okay smallest of my problems my major problem is I have a 1978 Ford F-250 pickup truck a camper special and it's a automatic transmission with the extended cabin all

that good stuff. But the problem I'm having with this is that it seems really gutless and I'm trying to pull a horse trailer that's 17 feet long it's like a three horse trailer and when I get three horses in there I can barely make it up a hill I'm getting passed by semis and old grannies in motorhomes and everything it's really embarrassing. What do you expect with a three-horse engine? Well I think that a three quarter ton pickup would be powerful enough to pull a horse trailer and it's got a huge engine in it it's got like a 460 it's as big as my bigger than my washing machine I think. There's no question that it should have enough power to pull three

lousy horses. What does a horse weigh? A thousand pounds? Twelve hundred pounds? Twelve hundred. Well, my horse weighs more than that, but he's an unusual one. But normally they only weigh around there. He's as fat as a horse. Yeah. So I mean they're a mother-in-law.

A horse mother-in-law. Don't go there. It should pull it. Do you feel that the engine speeds up but the truck doesn't? Can you hear that happening that you step on the gas to make it go? No, not really. How long you had this truck? Three years.

Ah. Who had it before that? I bought it from a fellow in Portland, Oregon, and he had done a bunch of work on it. He had the transmission overhauled and put in a new carburetor. How many miles on it? When I first bought this truck the fellow told me that it had had the engine rebuilt at a hundred and forty thousand and now it's getting ready to turn over again so I'm not sure exactly how many miles are on it. Well if you're lucky it's something as simple as incorrect timing if you're lucky. Timing? Yeah the ignition timing is off if the timing is

correct there are other reasons why it might have low power. You could have a restricted exhaust system. There could be the dead animals in the exhaust system that are preventing the exhaust from escaping. That would diminish the power considerably. Wouldn't that stink? Not if they've been dead a long time. Oh. Plus the stink is behind you. You don't smell it. The horses are killing the horses. That would be horrible. Well, I mean, I don't know. And the worst thing is you could need an engine rebuilt.

Yeah, because you may have 400,000 on this thing and you might have no compression at this point. And you haven't brought it anywhere to have someone look at it? Well, I do finally now have a mechanic that I think is really reputable and everything. So I've had him hook up my trailer brakes and wiring and stuff but I haven't had him do any engine work. When this guy drives it, whoever this guy is that hooked up your lights, he'll know in one minute what's wrong with it. Yeah I just thought maybe I have a truck that's too big for

my brain or something like me. No no no this thing should fly when you step on that gas pedal. Like my neck should snap. Your neck should snap. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, and it doesn't. No, no. So there's something wrong. And if you're lucky it's just the timing or maybe the timing chain has jumped or some such thing or maybe you have a restricted exhaust, suggest all these things to him if he can't figure it out.

But give him a chance to drive it and he'll say, I know what it is. Good. There you go. Okay, thank you very much. Good luck. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Look, it you very much. Good luck. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Look, it's time to take another short break.

Huh? Time to prepare the new puzzler, you mean? To do a little fine-tuning on it? To do a little verbal polishing, perhaps? You're just raising expectations. That's why I look even dumber than usual, aren't you? Yes, and not an easy task, I might add. The new puzzler is coming up, so please stay tuned. Ha! We're back.

You're listening to Car Talk with us. Click and clack the Tappet Brothers, and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and the new puzzler. I can hardly wait. This is lengthy and complex and Obfuscated and full of useless Information. Yeah, but so pay attention pretty perfect. Okay, I'm gonna set the scene. Was it a dark and storm? No, no here it is Our producer Dougie Berman is walking home from work late one afternoon about 2 15

and as Berman is walking home from work late one afternoon, about 2.15. And as he approaches his house, he notices that there's a car parked in front of his house whose engine is running. And in the driver's seat is a man. And while this car is sitting there, he notices someone coming from the direction of his house carrying what looks like a huge pile of rags. He opens the back door, throws the rags in the back seat, he jumps in the car, the driver puts the thing in gear and they speed away. Speed away?

Speed away. They take off. He goes into the house. Probably the border health come in to get his laundry. He plays with the dogs. He opens his mail. He takes a nap, et cetera, et cetera. Several days later, he notices that all of his clothes have been stolen. Took him a few days to notice. So he calls the police to make a report. And they come down.

The inspector comes down and says, well, what happened? He explains everything. And he's standing there in his underwear because what? All his clothes have been stolen. He can't wear them. It's been weeks now. And they asked him if he noticed anything about the guys. He said, no, they were average height, average build, average weight.

You know, I don't know. He said, what about the car? Did you notice anything about that? He said, well, I happened to be a student of the automotive field and I did notice that it was an 89 Corolla, midnight blue. I noticed of course that the engine was running. I noticed it had Massachusetts license plates and there was a dent in the trunk. And they said, we'll get back to you. Weeks go by. Weeks. During which time he stays home from work because he's got no clothes. That was that two week hiatus?

Yes, he spent two weeks in hiatus. Weeks go by, the police call him up and they say, we have the car and two suspects and we just need you to come down and do something. Identify your underwear. So they have no underwear. They have the car and the two suspects and he comes down to the police station and he looks at the two guys but he doesn't recognize them because he's not that attentive to the details.

He goes up into the parking lot and sure enough there's the car. There's an 89 blue Corolla. Midnight blue. Midnight blue, mass plates. Dent in the trunk. Dent in the trunk. And the engine's running. Is it running?

And he says, these must be the guys. Hoo hoo hoo, I'm going to get my clothes back. And he remembers that there was one thing he forgot to tell the police about the car. Oh. He walks over very quickly and looks inside the car for one second and walks away and says, That's not the car. That's not the car. These aren't the guys. What did he look at?

Just one second. Just a quick look inside and walked away and he said, Can't go to work for another two weeks, I won't have any clothes. Okay, I know the answer. You do, you may know it. Now if you think you know the answer, write it on the back of a $20 bill and send it to Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza,

Box 3500, Harvard Square, Cambridge, Our Fair City, Matt 02238, or you can do an electronic funds transfer and email your answer on a $20 bill to us from the Car Talk section of Cars.com. Wow. If you'd like to converse with us at this very moment, our number is 1-888-CAR-TALK. That's 888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi. Hi. Hello, Seattle. We're here for you. No, this is Charlotte. Oh Charlotte Where you from Charlotte? No, I'm in Charlotte. Oh, you're in Charlotte

Your name is Janet Janet from Charlotte, right? All right. What's up? What's up? We are in the process of purchasing a car for our 16 year old daughter We have decided on a BMW Z3 Roadster 2.3. No, no, no, no, no. Yes, yes, yes. No, no, no. The problem is we cannot decide whether to get standard transmission or automatic transmission. I vote for standard because I think it's important to learn how to drive standard and since it is a

little car i think it would be more fun and when you drive a standard car you obviously can't talk on the phone so i think it's much safer she on the other hand thinks that automatic at the way to go because uh... it's mostly stop and get traffic hopefully she won't be dipping around to the mountains of the beach and um... it would be easier for her to drive. We talked to our mechanics and we got two different responses.

One was, absolutely go standard transmission. It is a steel bullet. Nothing can happen to it. And on the other hand, we also got from the other mechanic at the same place, that by all means get her automatic because she will go through several clutches learning how to drive standard. So I thought I'd come to the professionals. Well, first of all, let me ask you. Does your daughter know hypnosis? How did she talk you into getting her a Z3?

I have a son. I mean, did she say something like, you will, you, you are getting sleepy? Do you remember those words along the way anyway Well, it's a very good car and it's a very safe car and it has all of the standard safety features It's got you know airbags inside airbags and that's Janet. I'm gonna do respect Yeah, it's not a very safe car. Are you getting the four or the six cylinder car by the Six cylinder you can only get a six. Are you buying a brand new one? Yeah, six cylinder the 2. the uh... on the six-cylinder you can we get a six-year buying a brand-new one yes six-cylinder the two point three they're new for ninety nine okay

i have to say i have to come out and say this publicly i am violently opposed to that car stu fast because it's way when they made it with four cylinders it was all on the respectable car they had they saw it necessary

to go from four songs sold as to what i'll read justly powerful six on their engine but they put a little computer they didn't they don't know my what they make to sts to six on their engines one of them is one of those really outrageous and the other one it's just also outrageous so i have to be i have to say that i'm not violently opposed to anyone buying that car and

especially for a sixteen-year-old kid but just because you're sixteen there just because you have a uh... uh... car that have the ability to go fast doesn't necessarily mean that all all i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i're a i had i have not uh... i'd i'd i'd consider myself a reasonably safe driver and i'm not a knucklehead behind the wheel and less on driving one of these and i had i recently drove the emma yes but they that's what i thought i was just saying that but i don't i don't the other one too

and the the regular c three and in both both instances I drop it like a nut yeah because the car asks you to. In the owner's manual it gives you instructions for driving on the sidewalk and other such things. Giving a 16 year old a car that's this fast and in and handles this well invites a 16 year old to take chances with it. Yeah and it's not true that just because it's fast means that you don't have to drive it that way, because as my brother so correctly says, that's not true.

You could put a, when she was alive, and maybe even now, you could have put Mother Teresa in this car and she would get herself killed because she would drive like a maniac. And it's not true. When a car goes that fast, it happens to you. You can't help it.

I found myself speeding today as I was driving here to the station. He walked up to 40 miles an hour. I was flying. I'm flying, man. And you cannot help it because you just touch that pedal and the car is gonzo. And I think it should be illegal and it certainly is unethical and immoral to make such a car. In my humble opinion. And I'm not going to buy a BMW for one year! No BMW!

Now, Janet, now that you've already told your daughter you were buying her a Z3, you're going to have a hell of a time talking her into a Volvo. What ever made you do anything so bonehead? Yeah, I'm sorry to come down so hard, Janet, but... But you still haven't answered, let's say I was going to buy a Volvo then, since you were so opposed to the Z3. I would get a new driver, an automatic transmission car. She's going to have enough to think about without shifting.

Is it true that you'll strip the clutch? Yeah, sure. Oh yeah, she'll wear out the clutch, but that's not the end of the world. No, if you're going to afford a $40,000 car, what's a $1,000 clutch job every now and every couple of weeks? I mean, what the hell's the difference? And that's what she wants. And kids ought to, more importantly, learn the responsibility of owning a car that doesn't always run. So they know they can't go too far or too fast. I mean, kids ought to drive junk boxes.

Well, that's why we didn't get our Jaguar. So you're going to get a Junkbox Z3. Hey Janet. Yes? Wanna adopt me? He'll take a four cylinder. He'll take a used one. I'll take a four cylinder Z3.

I would buy her a bigger car because even with the speed of this car aside, the car is not safe because it's too small. It really is too... I mean your daughter is going to hate it. Yeah, but semis don't care how little you are. They just care how little the car is. And when they drive over you, they don't even notice. They just a little bump.

Oh, what was that? Oh, a Z3. Well, gee. I know your daughter's going to hate us, but... Oh, I know. You know what I would get her? A C70 Volvo. But is it cute?

It's adorable. Yeah. Okay. It's cute. It's safe, safer, and even though it's powerful, too, it's not ridiculously overpowered. And I think if she's gonna crash something, let's assume she has crashed something that has a roof. I tell you, my son recently was 16 and he lobbied- Let me guess, he's 17 now? He is 17 now. He lobbied heavy for a car and I

finally bought him a 20 year old Volvo for a thousand dollars and very shortly thereafter, within the first six months of driving, he had a rather serious accident in which, had he been in a different car, he could have been very seriously injured. And after the accident, he said to his mother and me, thank you for forcing me to buy a Volvo because I probably wouldn't be here if I were driving something. If I were driving dad's dark. Because as as sane as you may think your 16 year old kid is, she isn't. Trust me there isn't a 16 year old kid on the planet. And if she drives into a tree at 110 miles an hour, seat belts and airbags not withstanding, she will be dead.

But the speed limit in the city is only 35 miles an hour. But since when does a 16 year old kid even know or care what the speed limit is? Ah, Janet, you've got a lot to learn about mothering. We're going to have to talk. All right. What have we been doing? We're going to have to talk for a long time. I'm going to have to go down to Charlotte.

We would feel better if she were driving a C70 Volvo. I would certainly feel better. Alright, we'll go look at them. Go look at it. It's a cool car. But what do we do with the Z3 that's been on order for two months? You give it to my brother. Okay!

We'll do. So which one did you order, the stick shift or the automatic? been on order for two months you give it to my brother okay but it's always one of your the stick shift of the automatic uh... that the option that we can change uh... all you had ordered this picture well if you change that you cannot order it yeah you cannot or they have no dearth of buyers if you don't buy it those be someone else right behind you that wants it my daughter's not going to be real please back off

janet thanks a lot of calling i'm sorry we were hard on you, but our conscience has forced us to do that. Well, it's going to be my daughter who is greatly disappointed. Oh, boy is she ever. Tell her to write to me. I will do. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. I'm emotionally spent.

I can't go on. It's interesting. I mean, we don't know who is ever going to call. And I have been meaning to vent about this Z3 and the M3 for days now. Hours now. Hours now. And it's unconscionable. And they're not the only ones.

In fact, I'm in the process of writing a little rant for the website. It's about time you adhere to my theory that vehicles should only be allowed to go 85 miles an hour. Tops, every manufacturer has within his capability for a buck to limit the top speed of any car that's made today. Every manufacturer in the world. Well, I agree with that, except I'm not sure that it will make a big difference. Oh, yeah.

Because the trouble, and I was doing- No, you get a lot more trouble at 125. You know, that Z3 will go 160, I didn't get it above 140. It'll go a hundred and sixty Yeah outrageous. Well, it is outrageous There's no reason and you don't think that most of the morons that buy these are at some point or another I'm gonna try to take that thing up to hundred and forty or fifty miles an hour But most of the people who are gonna die in them are gonna die at much lower speeds not because of the speed they're driving At but because of the acceleration.

Well you can't limit acceleration. That can be dangerous. But speed you can. Oh, but what do you mean it's dangerous? It's dangerous. What do you mean? Right now, a Saturn does not have the acceleration of an M3. Does that mean it's dangerous to drive a Saturn?

No. You don't drive like a moron because you know what the car can do. Acceleration and speed. We have to control everything. We have to become philosopher kings as I have said this many times before and we're going to have to stop BMW from selling cars in this country. You can limit acceleration with engine size. So we should have a designated horsepower to weight ratio.

Exactly. We're going to have to do it. We can't trust the manufacturers. The manufacturers will do anything for a buck. Cars have to have a certain horsepower to weight ratio and that's it. That's it. We just need to get the states to legislate that you can't drive, you can't register a car with a greater horsepower to weight ratio than a Saturn. Exactly.

There you go. Okay that's it. So we need to talk not only to lawyers, but now to politicians. Why don't we just kill ourselves? Well, it's happened again. You sublimated another person while listening to car talk. Okay. Our esteemed producer is Doug, the Subway Fugitive, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Our associate producer and dean of the College of Automusicology is Ken Tukar-Garages. Our assistant producer is Katherine

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We'll be back next week. Bye bye. And now, here is Card Talk Plaza's entertainment critic, Mr. Vinnie Gumbatz. Vinnie? All right, now listen up. Today, I'm recommending a copy of this week's Card Talk Show, which is number 39, an hour of high drama punctuated only by apt information. Apt information? Apt this, buddy. Now, if you just want a cassette of this week's show or any other Card Talk stuff, just call our shameless commerce division and 1-888-CARD-JUNK.

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