The Best of Car Talk - #2570: Those Dang Mud Chiggers!
Episode Date: September 2, 2025Betsy moved from Vermont down to Louisiana and, upon arrival, found her Toyota pickup to be infested with ‘Mud Chiggers’, or so her mechanic says. Can Click and Clack the exterminator brothers get... to the bottom of this one? Find out on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, it's Rachel Martin. I'm the host of Wildcard from NPR.
For a lot of my years as a radio host, silence sort of made me nervous.
That pause before an answer, because you don't know what's going on on the other side of the mic.
But these days, I love it.
Hmm.
Ah.
Gosh.
Give me a minute.
Yeah, yeah.
Think.
Listen to the Wildcard podcast only from NPR.
Hello, welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, click and clack to Tappard
Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the Center for Unapplied Mathematics
here at Car Talk Plaza.
Now, I'm going to step back, way back, while my brother alienates yet another huge portion of
the NPR audience, so go ahead.
You've got the floor, the ceiling, the walls, everything.
And they're all padded.
And it may well be that I alienate all those people,
but this is something that needs to be said.
And who better to say it?
Who better?
And it's one of those situations where some very small incident
erupts into a tremendous insight.
And here's the incident.
As you know, this past summer,
I fulfilled a lifelong dream and bought
A fountain for my backyard.
Yes, we know.
Right?
And this fountain has four lions out of whose mouth spew water into this large, what do you call that,
like a cistern thing.
A vessel.
A vessel, which is octagonally shaped.
So if you're looking down from the top, you see this big octagon.
Got it.
I'm sitting there one day this past summer, and I'm drinking my cup of espresso and pondering the universe.
So my wife says, fountain doesn't look quite right like that.
I said, I don't even like what?
She says, it needs something to sort of set it off from the rest of the debris in the yard.
She said, in fact, I saw a couple of little Italian tiles.
She said, we could like make a border around the base of the fountain.
She said, but I don't want it right under the fountain.
And I want it to be out like a foot.
And I said, well, how big are these tiles?
She says, I think they're like 10 inches long.
Now you see what the problem is.
I got it.
The question is, how big do these tiles have to be?
In other words, what will be the length of one side of the octagon?
If it's a foot further away from the center, then the cistern thing is.
I got it.
So I sit down, I say, wow, ho-hoo!
Something to do.
do. So I grab an old envelope
and a pencil and I start dittling around
and sure enough, we can use this
as a puzzler someday, but I
managed to figure out that the
size of the tiles that she
has seen in the catalog are
exactly the right size.
You put two of them side by side and they would exactly be right.
Oh, how serendipitous. And I said, isn't that
great? Then it comes
to me, bingo!
I said, doesn't make any
different. I said, in the
50 years that it's been since I've taken geometry,
algebra, and trigonometry.
This is the first time.
This is the first incident that there has been,
in which there has been a practical use of that stuff.
Aha.
Then I says to myself, if that's the case,
why is it that schools are subjecting
practically 100% of all students
to take geometry, algebra, geometry, trigonometry,
Calculus, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
Why are they doing that if it has no practical use?
Well, it took me 50 years.
And the truth is, I could have done it
by taking a piece of cardboard
and cutting little pieces out
and sticking them in the ground.
So I didn't really need it.
I only used it because I had to.
I realized this.
You take these mathematics courses
which are completely
useless in your life.
I'm writing this down.
Now, get this.
What is the reason that you take
a useless mathematics course?
Well, I know the reason.
Here's the answer.
Okay.
It's to prepare you
for the next mathematics course
that you take,
which is even more useless
than the previous one.
Uh-huh.
Why are we teaching kids
stuff that they will never use?
Answer?
to give jobs to all those people who majored in math
and not smart enough to get real jobs in the world
because there's no practical application for what they know.
There is no practical application for what they know.
And therefore, it's just another example
of how screwed up the American educational system is.
And I don't care what the NEA says to me.
I know they hate me already.
But tell me that this isn't crazy.
I don't think the National Endowment for the Actual really.
I have much to say about this.
Them too. They hate me, too.
But this is the stupidest thing.
I don't know what to say.
I'm speechless now.
Evidently.
Well, you have no practical application for that geometry you learn,
but every tile setter in the world uses it.
And you know what it teaches you more than anything, all that stuff?
It teaches you to take a bunch of information
and apply it logically to solving problems,
not problems that you ever will need to solve necessarily in your life.
Right.
But just solving problems, it gets you into the habit of taking a situation that is seemingly unsolvable
and using what you have at your disposal to solve it.
I knew you were going to say that.
And that's what education is all about.
But see, that's exactly the answer.
And they've taken the chickens' way out.
Exactly.
They've taken the chickens out because geometry and calculus and algebra, especially, all teach you to do stuff,
which you'll never use again.
But they do teach you to solve problems.
but there could be a lot better ways to do it.
What they would say, if you said this to all the math teachers of the world,
they would say to you that we're doing this
because it teaches people critical thinking.
Well, geometry and algebra happen to be easy ways to do it.
They're not the best, but they are the easiest ways.
Anyway, Peekaboo Street directs our intensive care unit,
which is known as the Peekaboo ICU.
You've wasted another hour.
We must be out of time, right?
We must be.
Can we please, Dougie, can we take a call?
I want an answer to this.
I'm sick. I'm sick of it.
Anyway, I never saw these tiles.
Did you ever put the tiles down?
No, I didn't think so.
They didn't.
We bought them, but they didn't fit.
You couldn't figure it out, could you?
They were the wrong side.
So you should have paid attention to the geometry class.
You're going to talk about geometry or anything else.
Our number is 1-888-88-227-8-25-5.
Hello, you're on car talk.
Hi, my name is Christian, and I'm calling from Burlington, Vermont.
Really?
Yeah.
Hi, Christian.
How you doing?
From UVM?
No, no. Beyond the UVM, I'm a working professional, believe it or not.
So you're a working, let's see, a working professional, as opposed to an out-of-work professional.
Yeah.
How professional are you?
Well, I'm in my office, and, you know, I...
That's it.
That's good enough.
You've got an office, you're professional.
That's right.
You've got a phone, and you're all set.
Yeah, and a computer and a fax.
Oh, man, you are a professional.
And a 1986 Subaru G.L. Wagon.
That's right.
Business has been bad, huh?
Well, we're working on it.
We're working on it.
That's right.
And it runs like a champ, but one of the reoccurring problems that I've been having
is that my clutch cable snaps.
And it has snapped about three times in the past year and a half.
Oh, that's unusual.
Yeah, well, we can't figure it out.
Does it seem extraordinarily difficult to press the pedal?
No, it doesn't.
Not really.
Does it seem to get worse and get very difficult just before the cable breaks?
Just before the cable breaks?
You better hope he says yes to this one.
You're in such trouble.
In fact, you know, now that you mention it, yes, there is a certain more friction just before it snapped.
It seems a little bit more hard.
to depress in the paddle.
Yeah, great.
Perfect.
If you hadn't given that answer,
we'd have been here for so long.
Is that the right answer?
That's the right answer.
What does that mean?
We don't really know.
Well, it is possible that you need a new clutch,
and what happens, any clutch,
when it gets near the end of its life,
it's more and more difficult to disengage
and puts a greater load on the cable.
Uh-huh.
I think there's something else going on here.
Do you now?
Yes, I do.
Yes, I do.
Here he comes.
What I think is going on is the following.
Okay.
I think there is a ground wire missing from your car.
A ground wire.
Oh, I love it.
A ground wire.
A bunch cable is acting as the ground between the engine and the body of the car.
Well, that's a wicked answer.
Isn't that a vicious answer?
I think we used this as a puzzler once.
Like 25 years ago.
25 years.
Before we even had the show.
Before they even had clutch.
Before they even had radio.
So that causes the clutch cable to get heated up.
Yeah.
You got it.
And then probably, you know, it snaps.
There you go.
That's what happens.
So should I take it to the mechanic and ask them or what?
Yes, ask them if it's missing a ground.
Okay.
Yeah.
You want a ground that goes from the bell housing?
Yeah.
To the firewall.
Bell housing to the firewall.
So there's a conductive path for electricity that goes.
from the battery to the starter, to the firewall, to the chassis, back to the battery.
If there isn't a complete circuit, what happens is that the clutch cable begins to act as that
ground wire, and it will get frayed, it'll get brittle and frayed and break.
No kidding.
Yeah.
Isn't that good?
You guys are on the ball.
Not really.
No.
Fantastic.
Good luck, Christian.
Thank you very much.
Bye-bye.
All right.
To help you remember last.
week's puzzler. We're going to play a little password. You remember password? No. What's password?
Okay. Here you go. If I were looking for information on your personal life, I would be, uh, probing.
I was looking for fishing. Oh. U.S. planes drop, bombs, ordinance. Ordinance. When you own a dart,
you commute by foot. Bus.
I'm close
This puzzle was about
A bus, a city ordinance
And a fishing
Oh
You stole it from that book
That you had last week
What is that book it is
And I'll have the answer in just a minute
Wow
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A lot of short daily news podcast focus on just one story.
But right now, you probably need more.
On Up First from NPR, we bring you three of the world's top headlines every day in under 15 minutes.
Because no one's story can capture all that's happening in this big, crazy world of ours on any given morning.
Listen now to the Up First podcast from NPR.
It's been 20 years since Hurricane Katrina, and the StoryCorps podcast is bringing you the voices of those who lived through it.
We hear the door blow open like a cannon shot.
The water was up to my waist, and I heard fear in my dad's voice.
Hear the eyewitness accounts of the survivors.
Some recorded only weeks after on the StoryCorps podcast from NPR.
Ha, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Clack the Time.
Tappert Brothers, and we're here to talk about cars, car repair, and, of course, the answer to last
week's puzzling.
Now, you're going to do the answer now?
Right now, Charlie.
I remember the puzzler now.
This was a great puzzler.
It's from our new puzzler book, and I might add an excellent example of how mathematics
is applicable.
Essential, you might say, to everyday life.
And this kid would never have gotten home had he not taken geometry in the eighth grade.
If he didn't know about a certain famous Greek.
That's right.
A boy gets a bunch of money for Christmas and decides to go downtown and buy a fishing rod.
So he takes the bus downtown and goes to the sporting goods store and buys himself what?
Fishing rod.
There you go.
Soon after that, he's standing at the bus stop.
The bus comes.
He goes to get on, and the bus driver says, Sunny, where are you going with that thing?
The boy says, I'm going hunting for deer, you moron.
Where do you think I'm going to go?
I'm going to fish it.
The boy says, I'm going home.
The bus driver says, not on this bus, you ain't.
How tall are you?
The kid says, four feet.
The driver says the fishing rod is taller than you,
and it looks to be pretty close to five feet, in fact.
The kid says, yeah, and the bus driver goes on to say,
don't you know there's a city ordinance
that you can't carry anything on a bus
if it's longer than four feet?
The kid says, yeah, I didn't know that,
but I have to take the bus home
because I've got a meeting of the young existentialists this afternoon,
and if I miss it, they'll kill me.
The bus driver says tough,
and he boots the kid off the bus.
Anyway, the boy goes to the sporting goods store and tries to return the fishing rod.
They laugh at him and point to the sign that says, no returns on fishing rods over four feet.
So the kid stands there.
What are the chances of that?
The kid stands there in bewilderment, and then he asks the store clerk for something.
Five minutes later, he's riding the bus home with the fishing rod.
Now, he didn't ask for a saw so he could cut the rod in half or a string so he could bend it.
He didn't hold it out the window.
So he didn't alter the rod in any way.
He legally got on the bus and rode it home with his fishing rod.
And how did he do it?
Wow.
He got a box that was three feet by four feet.
Yeah, and just deep enough to hold the rod.
So the rod became the hypotenuse of a right triangle, the diagonal of the box.
Now, how could he have ever gotten home had he not taken geometry?
Well, the ironic thing is he hadn't taken geometry, he's only 10.
He's only 10.
Who's our winner this week?
The winter this week is Marjorie Butcher from West Hartford, Connecticut.
No kidding.
And for having such superb mathematical skills,
Marjorie gets a $25 gift certificate
to the Cockatoc Shameless Commerce Division.
And with that...
Don't spend it all in one place.
You can get yourself a copy of the book
that includes that very puzzler,
a haircut in Horsetown.
Yeah.
Or you can order the special Click and Collect Home Calculus
course.
so you can figure out the area under curves of all sizes and shapes.
Should you ever need to do that?
Anyway, we'll have a new puzzler coming up.
Later in today's show, in the meantime, we'll take your calls at 1-8-88-Cart talk.
That's 8-88-227-8-25-5.
Hello, you're on Car Talk.
Hi, this is Betsy Collin from Norleans, Louisiana.
Hi, Betsy.
Norlings.
Norlands.
Norlands.
N-A-U-L-L-I-N-S, right?
Something like that.
Isn't that a good?
great city, huh?
Uh, well?
Yeah, well. No?
Well, I just moved down here about two and a half weeks ago, actually.
No kids.
And if you're not thrilled about it at this point, it's only going to get worse.
Where'd you move from?
I moved here from Ferrisburg, Vermont.
And you don't think New Orleans is better than Ferrisburg, Vermont?
Well, I'll tell you what. I don't drink, and I'm a vegetarian, so there's not a lot left
for me to do down here.
So what's going on?
Well, I got a big problem with my truck.
I got a 1988.
Toyota, four-wheel drive pickup truck.
Yeah.
And I drove it down here.
My girlfriend and I drove it down here from Ferrisburg about two and a half weeks ago.
Mm-hmm.
And we had gotten it all ready for the trip.
Actually, I'm in law school in Boston right now.
I'm all over the map.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I'm down here for an internship for the winter.
And before I came down here, I brought it to the most lovely mechanic in the whole world,
Patrick from West Cork Auto, who I've...
found through your show. He's the mechanic of a woman and her boyfriend and the woman
was her boyfriend. Yes, yes. Yeah, Patrick! Oh, buddy, Patrick. Well, I heard about Patrick right before I
moved to Boston to go to law school, and actually his shop is right down the road from where I live,
and I will just affirm that he is the most wonderful, lovely man. He fixed a truck all up
and, you know, changed all the bell-toes everything. I should also mention, before we came down,
we had almost every piece of the exhaust system replaced
because it was all sort of rusted out from the Vermont salt.
And Patrick was not the one who put the exhaust on.
The exhaust was put on in Vermont, but different outfits.
Yeah, a Ferris Bueller muffler and...
Yeah.
So we get down here, and it took about three days,
and the exhaust started to sort of...
Something went wrong, and it started to get a little bit loud,
and it got louder and louder and louder,
And then the next, the following day, we pulled into the driveway of my new apartment and turned off the truck.
And gas started just pouring all over the driveway.
Gasoline.
Gasoline.
And it seemed to it.
I mean, my initial reaction was, oh, my God, we must have just broken a fuel line.
And, you know, what are the odds that that just, we had this totally uneventful tip down here.
As soon as we get in the driveway of my house, gasoline.
gas all over the place.
So we put a little pan under to catch all the gas.
And a couple days later, I had the truck towed over to a local garage.
Good.
Well, the exhaust, the piece that went right into the manifold,
three of the four screws had pulled out, and that's where the problem was.
So he fixed that.
And when I went to pick up the truck, he also said,
oh, I fixed the gas leaking problem.
You don't have a broken fuel line.
You had some mud chiggers in the fuel line.
Huh?
Excuse me?
The diagnosis was mud chiggers in the fuel line.
Is this a Noland's problem?
In Noland, yes.
That is a mud chigger.
Mud chiggers.
Anyway, he cleaned that out, and he said that's all fixed,
and there's no problem with the fuel line.
It's all fixed.
But why do you turn the car on right here and listen to how nice the exhaust sounds?
So I turned the engine over, and the exhaust sounded great, and fuel started pouring out of the bottom of the car.
Those dang mud chiggers.
The dang mud chiggers.
So he said, wow, I guess it wasn't the mud chiggers.
I have to think about it more.
So I went back a little later, and what he said was the pressure, there's so much pressure built up in the gas tank that even, and at this point, I mean, there were,
was like no gas in the car, barely any, maybe two gallons of a 17-gallon tank.
Okay, this is beginning already. The beginning of that sentence sounds like a lot of hogwash
to me. But go ahead. There's so much pressure in the tank. So much, his theory is there are so
much pressure in the tank that the fuel was pushing back, something like up back through the fuel
line, through, there's like a charcoal canister in there, in the hood, and then out the fuel
vent line. That's where the fuel
was pouring out. It was poor. Ah, that's good.
And the deal was there, it was the
pressure, so much pressure was doing
this, and he's got to be right because
when you release, when the fuel
starts pouring out, the way
to stop it. Take the gas cap off.
And a huge
push. Yeah.
But he can't figure out
why it's doing this, and why
all of a sudden, I mean, I've owned this truck for years,
I've never had this problem.
Oh, yeah. And now I'm driving around without the gas
cap on. So let me get this straight.
Yep. You come from Ferris-Bule of Vermont, but you're going to law school in Boston.
That's right. Where are you going? B.C. or B.U.? I'm at Northeastern University.
Northeastern? Yes.
And you're going for an internship for the winter. That's correct.
In New Orleans, with a law firm, I presume. I work for a capital defense firm. We're doing
death penalty trials. Capital, capital offense things.
Capital defense. Yeah.
Wow.
Did anyone take the gas tank out of this for any reason?
At any time?
Ever, yeah.
Well, I don't know.
I'm the second owner.
But like I said, I mean, I've owned this truck for several years and have never had any fuel-related problems with it.
Well, I mean, the line that feeds the charcoal canister sits in the top of the tank.
And that's one of the reasons, for example, they tell you when you fill up your gas tank not to top it off.
Because it is possible if your vehicle is inclined slightly and you put the last drop possible in the filler neck that you can actually get gas to back up this line, which comes into the very top of the tank.
And what's supposed to go through that line is gasoline vapors.
Vapers, right.
Right.
The reason I ask if the tank could be removed, it's entirely possible that somebody has crisscrossed some of the lines because there's also a return line.
Yeah, but, I mean, she drove down from...
Ferris Buella, Vermont.
Ferrisburg.
Ferrisburg, Vermont.
Man, the crisscross answer
sounds about as good as a mud chigger.
That'll be enough of that.
You won't be on stuffed of chums.
I'll guarantee you that.
How do you know?
You don't get to pick stubs and chums.
Oh, I don't.
Yeah, I don't do it.
But we can use mud chiggers for a lot of them.
I mean, we don't use choke pull-off anymore.
No, we can't.
Mud chiggers in the fuel lines.
Mud chiggers.
I mean, I can't think of anything.
Anything that would make pressure build up in the gas tank?
Well, I think what he has to do is he has to go back to the source.
The gasoline we know is coming from what?
The tank.
Yeah, but how is it getting to the canister from the tank?
If there's only a gallon of gas in the tank.
Something is haywire.
Boy.
Well, he just has no idea how to proceed.
He's got to drop the tank.
He's got to drop.
the tank and take out...
Drop the tank.
Yeah, he's got to take out...
It's not that hard.
No, it's easy.
Don't get nervous.
And it's easy.
There's no gas in it.
He's going to take the tank out and he's going to look at the unit that plugs into the top
of the tank.
There's a unit that's held on by like six or eight little screws that houses the fuel sending
unit and these vent tubes.
And I think when he takes this thing out, he's going to say, oh, my God, how the heck did
that that happen?
And I don't know what he's going to see.
But somehow he's going to figure out that a tube has fallen into some place where it's
allowing gas to be pumped up through the vent.
Well, does this happen every time you're on the engine now?
Well, now I just drive it around with the gas cap off.
Or actually, it can be on as long as it's very, very, very, very...
But when you took that gas cap off the first time,
you got positive pressure coming out.
You felt...
Yes.
It wasn't sucking air in.
It was pushing stuff out.
Well, it sounded like it was.
I mean, I didn't feel it, but it was that...
Oh, you didn't feel it.
The pressure release sound, the p...
Well, yeah, but it could be either way.
Because it would be a lot easier to believe vacuum than it is to believe pressure.
Have them drop the tank.
I'm telling you the problem's in the tank.
Yeah.
In the tank.
Or the return line is restricted somehow.
Right.
That was the mud chigger theory.
Because coming off the fuel rail is a return line that dumps gasoline back into the tank.
Okay.
How would that cause vacuum?
It's causing vacuum, not pressure.
It's causing too much vacuum.
How would it do that?
I don't know.
Well, because here's what's happening.
Here's what's happening.
Here's what's happening.
I don't know.
Here's what's happening.
What?
The engine is running.
Gasoline, let's assume the gas cap is on.
Gasoline is being sucked, is being pumped by the fuel pump from the tank.
To the engine.
To the engine.
There's no return line.
And let's assume that the...
So the gas has no place to go.
No place to go.
Because the mud chiggers are still in that.
wine. And what's happening there...
How they got in there, God only knows.
No, we don't know. Maybe it's a crimped line.
But the fuel now, we have excess fuel.
Which can't go any place.
Can't go anywhere. But so it's trying to get to the canister.
No, it can't get to the canister.
I said, it's trying to get to the canister. We've got to come up for the root.
But we are creating suction in the tank.
And there's no return line.
Somehow the canister is acting as a siphon. It's pulling gas up the walls of the tank by
capillary action.
If only we had...
They'd in class that day.
If only I do my geometry better.
Wow.
Betsy, good great.
This is a real puzzler.
Well, you guys want to, you know, continue with your show and just call me back sometimes?
Yeah.
All right.
We'll talk.
Have your people call our people.
So this will come to us.
All right then.
Wow.
Sit by the phone.
Right on.
I will.
Thanks for calling.
Thank you.
Bye bye.
Bye.
I wish we had an answer for her, but after all that time, if only we could have said,
and here's what to do.
Yeah, that would have been good.
We'll keep working.
We'll be right back with more calls and the new puzzle right after these important messages.
Ha! We're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Clack the Tapper Brothers.
and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and the new puzzler.
I can hardly wait, Ollie.
Well, this is very brief, and I'll try to obfuscate as much as possible.
Yeah, go right ahead.
My son was performing a common household task.
Okay, you satisfied with that?
I like that, yeah.
He asked me, is 50 enough?
No, I said, I don't think.
think so. Yeah. He said, what about 125? I said, no, I don't think that's enough either. I'd try 90.
What? There you go. This is a common household task, which most of us, I would say, have performed.
Have engaged in many times. 50, not enough. He says, is 50 enough? No. I said, I don't think so. How about 125? No, I
I don't think so.
Try 90.
And he says,
okey-doke.
Did it work?
No, no, 90 wasn't enough to be for actually.
So that's it, and the question is, what was he doing?
What was he doing?
What household task?
Could he possibly have been doing for this little conversation?
To have taken place and to be correct.
This little exchange, as we said.
Indeed.
Now, if you think you know the answer, write it on the back of a $20 bill
and send it to Puzzler Tower,
Car Talk Plaza, Box 3,500, Harvard Square, Cambridge.
Our Fair City.
Matt 02238, or you can email your answer to us from the Car Talk section of Cars.com.
If you'd like to call us, the numbers, 1-888-8-8-8-8-8-2-7-8-25-5.
Hello, you're on Car Talk.
Hi, this is Alston from Denver, Colorado.
Elsa?
Allison, yeah.
Allison.
Hello.
Oh, Allison.
Yeah.
Oh, A.
I'm sorry.
L.
Two else?
Well, Allison has an A for Apple.
Yeah.
Double L-I-S-O-N.
Oh, straightforward.
Yeah, very straightforward.
You're from Denver, but previously from like Sweden.
No.
Near, but not quite.
Finland?
No.
Norway.
Go south a little.
Go south a little.
Yeah.
Wales.
Italy.
No.
I'm actually from Scotland.
Scotland.
Oh, no.
As soon as you said, Scotland.
That would give it away.
Yes, yes, slightly.
But you were now of Denver.
Yes, I'm now in good old sunny Denver.
Yeah.
So what's up, Alice?
Okay.
I am about a month ago, I bought a 94 golf two-liter manual transmission.
Yeah.
And it was a really cool morning, and I came out, she put the key in, she went room, and then she died.
And then she was like, roo-r-r-ro-r-r-r.
She wouldn't start.
And when she did start, she said like an old tractor.
Yeah.
I'm with you.
Okay.
So then I take it back to the dealer.
And they said your timing belt had jumped.
No, they said I had a cracked breather.
A cracked breather?
Yes.
Whatever that is.
And then they said my spark plugs were arcing.
Uh-huh.
So they replaced all the spark plugs, all the wires, the ignition cable, the breather.
And I went collected her and thought, yeah, great.
Next morning, did exactly the same.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
The breather.
The breather.
Oh, the breather.
They're referring to a captain.
They just can't take it.
I believe the bellows that connects to the intake manifold that goes from the air mass meter to the intake manifold.
Oh, that breathing.
I think that's what that's the, unless the breather.
We don't know what that is, but that's okay.
Well, the breather years ago used to be the air cleaner.
Oh.
But it isn't the air.
The air cleaner wouldn't be cracked, and that certainly wouldn't prevent it from running correctly.
So I'm assuming they're talking about this bellows, but continue the story.
Anyway, so I called back up the guy at the dealer, and he said, well, that's really strange, and bring it back in.
And when you first turn the key, it starts right up.
Oh, beautiful, yeah.
But it only runs for a few seconds.
Yeah, and then it dies.
And then it dies, and then when you turn the key again, it cranks.
It goes, ah, ah, ah.
Yeah, it sounds good.
as if he's got, like, a bad case of the flu?
Yeah. It's like, er-ro-ro-ro-ro-r. Okay, but does it crank
slowly, or does it crank
at the regular speed? Here's
regular speed. Here's
slowly.
Slowly.
Slowly.
Yeah. Did they know this? Did you tell them this?
Yeah. You did?
Yeah. Tell me you want your money back on the
spark plugs, the wires, the cracked
breather. The breather. And everything else
they might have done. The breather.
If you told them that, and they replaced all this
other stuff.
Yeah.
That was, I think, uncalled for.
Oh, really?
You may have needed these other things.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, well, she may need a back scratch, too, but they didn't do that for her.
They should have.
Come on.
I mean, it sounds like the battery's dead.
Really?
That's what it sounds like to me, too.
Or the starter isn't working properly.
Yeah.
That simple.
Well, it could be simple.
It could be.
But I think your plan of attack at this point should be to call them
and tell them you're a little bit disappointed
and to ask them to keep the car overnight.
Well, that's the problem. I did that.
We had like six inches of snow, and they said it started no problem.
Oh, you left it with them?
Yeah.
Oh, so it's you.
What's the problem?
Probably, yeah.
So with six inches of snow, it started fine.
Yeah, and then they replaced all this stuff,
And then I called them again, and then they said, we'll bring it back in and leave it with us for two days instead of one.
And now it's home, and it doesn't start.
No, she starts because the weather's not that cold here.
Yeah.
So now she's starting.
Yeah.
And it may have started for them, because despite the fact that there was six inches of snow, it may have, in fact, been a warmer day than it was when it didn't start for you.
Yeah.
So I still think they should do a test on the battery, the charge.
charging system and the starter.
Oh, brilliant.
And the reason it starts the first time is that the battery will kind of rejuvenate itself,
you know, overnight, and may have enough umph in it so that it does start or it does give
you 20 seconds or so of adequate cranking.
But once you've exhausted that and the thing hasn't started.
Yeah.
Because it really isn't cranking perhaps fast enough.
Oh, okay.
Then subsequent cranking gets you that, whoa, that pathetic sound, my brother made.
And it sounds like it's right on the hairy edge of being okay.
And if I had to guess, you have a bad cell in your battery?
You think I've got a bad cell in a battery.
Yeah.
Anyway, what are you doing in Denver?
Just out of curiosity, I mean, we should have asked you this an hour ago.
I'm a medical researcher at the National Jewish Medical and Research Center here in Denver.
And they don't do this kind of stuff in Scotland?
Yeah, they play golf at Scotland.
This is a great research place.
Cool.
Yeah.
And do you like it?
I love it.
Do you ski?
I'm learning.
so I'm getting 10 out of 10 from my falls at the moment.
And do you like Americans compared to Scots?
Yeah.
Tell the truth.
I think them...
You met any fellas yet?
No, not yet.
Not yet, huh?
I've got a lot of good friends that are brilliant.
Brilliant doesn't count.
Yeah, brilliant doesn't cut it.
But it's okay for a while.
Yeah, you get sick of that.
Okay.
Very good luck to you, Alison, and welcome.
Welcome to America.
It's been great talking to you. Good luck.
Thank you.
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