The Best of Car Talk - #2579: Hi, My Name is Crash

Episode Date: October 4, 2025

Crash from San Diego is trying hard not to live up to his nickname and he wants Click and Clack to figure out why his Mazda sways so much from side to side. Grab your helmet and check out this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

In the U.S., national security news can feel far away from daily life. Distant wars, murky conflicts, diplomacy behind closed doors. On our new show, Sources and Methods. NPR reporters on the ground bring you stories of real people, helping you understand why distant events matter here at home. Listen to sources and methods on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the I Rest My Case Division here at Car Talk Plaza.

Yes, indeed. You may remember a few weeks ago, we reported on widespread dealer outrage in Denver over a series of TV ads being run by AutoNation. And AutoNation was making fun of the typical image of car dealers with a series of ads featuring fast-talking guys in what? Plad suits. Dealers naturally complained. And there was even an article in Automotive News.

Well, in a follow-up last week, Automotive News prints a large photo with a quote next to it. The quote says, any organization that does that isn't doing any dealer any good. and the caption goes on to say that's Ron Boyer from Denver Ford dealer speaking about Auto Nation's ads depicting dealers as plaid jacketed hocksters. Shame on him. Shame on them. And next to it is a picture

of Ford dealer Ron Boyer right next to his quote. Yeah, and what's he wearing? A plaid jacket. Oh, well. Hey, you can't get him all right. You figure he did that on purpose or he's just...

I don't think he even knew. He even knew. He doesn't even know. that's plaid. Well, you know, I thought afterwards that this is the way you know who the salespeople are in a dealership. Of course. You walk into a dealership.

You may see all kinds of people wearing suits and ties and whatever. But you never see any of the customers wearing black jackets. It's just the salespeople. If you see a guy wearing a little pinstripe blue suit, you know that you don't want to ask him, what's the price of this? No, because he's a customer just like you are. Go for the guy with the plaid. If you'd like to call us our numbers, 1-888 car talk. That, of course, for the alphabetically challenges, 888-227-8255.

A lawyer on car talk. My name is Londy. Londy. Londy. It's like Blondie without the B. You got it. That's exactly right. I-E at the end?

Just I. That's what I thought. L-O-N-D-I. Right. Lundy. Lundy. And where are you from, Lundy? I live in Los Angeles.

Really? I need something for this car of mine. It is driving me crazy. Well, you'll give us the... gory details. Okay, it's an 85 Toyota Corolla, and I've had it since it was brand new. Oh, cool. Okay, this has been going on for, I hate to say this, but I think like a couple of years. Really? Okay, so while I'm driving, like on the freeway coming to work, you know, it just runs rough.

It sounds like it's not running on all four cylinders. Which freeway do you take to get to work? I take the 405 North. That's the San Diego Freeway. Yes, we know it well. Yes, you do. Yes, we've been stuck in traffic there many a time. Yeah, that's what happens. We used to be in the movies, you know.

You did? Yeah. Yeah. Where? Do you ever see Bride of Frankenstein? That was my brother. You guys. I was the bride.

I was a cross-dresser in those days. I'm no longer a cross-dresser. Oh, that's fun. Okay. So there you are on 405 North. And all of a sudden, it's going to be. It's not in the run rough. Well, it runs rough, you know, the whole time, I mean.

Oh, the whole time? Yeah, the whole time. It doesn't, it's not intermittent. It's consistent. Yeah. And so as soon as you start it up, it runs roughly. Yeah, yeah. And then does it ever clear itself up?

No, no. But this is the worst part. When I'm sitting at a red light with, it's an automatic, with it in drive, when it's idling, oh, it's just like surging and receding and, Right. Shaking like crazy. Yeah, yeah, it shakes and it's bubbling. Got it.

Got it. Yeah, exactly, exactly. And it seems to do this more, the hotter the engine is, like the longer I've been driving. It gets worse. It seems to be worse. So you've had people look at this thing. Well, I had a tune-up at the Toyota dealership a couple of weeks ago, and they think. It's the vacuum advance inside the distributor.

It's very easy to determine. Is it? Well, yeah, they could merely pinch the hose. Disconnected. That goes to the vacuum advance and see if it smooths out. Okay, because I can do that. If it's running as badly as you say it is, I doubt that it's a little vacuum leak like that. Really?

No, I doubt it. I'm going to give you two other things to look at. Okay, let's hear it. Let's have it. I want it. I'm going to suggest that you have a vacuum leak at the intent. Manifold, where the manifold bolts to the cylinder head. And these cars have these problems. Uh-huh.

Okay. And the other thing I was going to recommend, which is still a possibility, is something called the AAP diaphragm in the carburetor. Okay, AAP diaphragm. It has a hole in it. Uh-huh. And it's feeding extra gas into one cylinder and fouling the plug. Uh-huh.

So you should ask them to pinch off the AAP hose and see. if that improves it. Okay, all right. And only the Toyota dealer is going to know about this in all likelihood. Okay. But I suspect that it's not that, rather it's the intake manifold gasket, and they can test that with a propane enrichment tool. Propane enrichment tool.

Yeah, so it's a little device that hooks up to a propane tank of fuel, and you basically move around the area where you think the leak might be until you find the spot by having the propane sucked in. At that spot? Uh-huh. And the engine will smooth out. And the engine will run like a dream, and you'll say, ha-ha, that's the problem. Man.

So that's what they need to do. Okay. And you'll be back in traffic in two days. Oh, it would be so, it would be heaven if it just would run smooth. Lundy, the best of luck to you on 405 North and South. Okay, guys. Thanks much. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Thank you. Bye-bye. 1-888-278-8-255. Hello, you're on car talk. Hi, this is Tom. from Mount Pleasant, Michigan.

Mount Pleasant. Hi, Tom. We got you, man. Okay, well, here's the deal. I've got a 1994 Chevrolet Camaro Z-28. I'm the original owner. It has about 60,000 miles on it. It gets its oil changed all the time in a bath,

whether it needs it or not. Great. It has never leaked oil, and it has never used oil until now. And what happens now is when you fire up the car, first thing in the morning, it will run for about 30 seconds, at which time it will pump about two cups of oil out onto the ground. And then, after a couple minutes, it will stop doing that, and it won't leak the rest of the day.

Pump it onto the ground? Where? Like, under the car, ground? But under the engine? Yes, under the engine in the vicinity of the oil filter. You don't say? I couldn't make this up. Does this thing have an oil cooler? Oh, yes.

Well, that's probably where it's coming from. Well, but that's not where the oil cooler is. The oil cooler is mounted in the front of the car. But doesn't it have an adapter that the filter screws to? Yes, it does. That's where it's leaking. Why would it suddenly leak out of the adapter? You want the answer and the reason to?

Yes. I don't know, because whatever is holding it to the block is probably loose. Would that be something that would be influenced by cold weather or the use of synthetic oil? Mm-hmm. I don't know. I can't think of any of those. It seems like if the adapter had failed that the thing would never stop leaking. Why does it only leak for a moment and then quit? Isn't that a great question?

Well, I don't know the answer to any of those questions. But I did home right in on the oil cooler adapter, didn't I? You did. You did. And the only reason I went there, even though I probably shouldn't have, I was unencumbered by the thought process. It just happened. is that every GM car I've ever seen that has one of these oil cooler adapters has leaked there. The one that the old...

Yeah, I think you're going to find that the bolts that hold this cooler onto the block are loose. I think it's held on, either that or the nipple that the filter screws onto holds it on. But something is loose, and it may be that once it's run for a few seconds, and you've built up enough pressure that it seals itself. Okay, well, this sounds like something then I can probably tackle myself. I think so, and I hope I'm right, because I don't have a... another clue, but it's got to be that. Okay, I'll check it out.

All right. Thanks very much. See you later. Bye-bye. I mean, it couldn't be a seal, like a crankshaft seal, because it would care would leak all the time. I mean, I was impressed that you went right to it. Right to it. Right to it.

And it didn't bother me that you didn't have any reason why. Didn't bother me. Didn't need a reason. Didn't have to have a reason. No, and you know, you know. If you know, you know, and that's it, do you fix it? And, I mean, how many things can you know reasons for? I mean, there are so many things that simply cannot be known.

Here's something that I bet you don't know. What? Last week's puzzler. You know, no, no, wow. It was a card trick. You mean, like, three card Monty? Well, kind of, like 104 card Monty. I'll have the answer.

I think I remember it. This message comes from Rince. Who knows that mastering the perfect house party table spread takes time? But so does laundry. So Rinse takes your laundry and hand delivers it to your door, expertly cleaned. And you can take the time once spent sorting and waiting, folding, and queuing, to finally pursue your real passion. Rolling delicate roses of Capacola alongside meandering ribbons of Amon Serrano, transforming a humble plank of weathered barnwood into a show-stopping charcuttery spread.

Rinse, it's time to be great. On NPR's TED Radio Hour, investigative journalist Hilka Shelman digs into how companies are using AI for hiring and what it means for your job search. We are at a tipping point. We have AI tools generating your resumes. We have avatars interviewing other avatars for jobs. Like, you know, it's AI versus AI. Listen on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, we're back. Car Talk with us, Click and Clack to Tappert Brothers, and we're here to talk about cars, car repair, and the answer to last week's puzzle.

Now, here it is. I'm sure you'll remember it in a minute. I remember it already. You do? Yeah. Cool. Let's say you have two decks of playing cards, 52 cards each, you know, regular cards. Yeah. And you put both decks together and shuffle them up. Got it. So you've got 104 cards all shuffled

together. Then you split them back into two equal piles. So you haven't looked at them now. You're in traditional manner. You've just counted them out, so you have a pile of 52 on one side, we'll call that pile A, and a pile of 52 cards on the other side, and they're all mixed up. Pile two. Piled two.

Here's the question. What are the chances that the number of red cards in pile A equals a number of black cards in pile B, and question two, or B, how many cards you have to look at to be sure of your answer? Yeah. Well, I happen to know the answer. Imagine. Go ahead. the chances are

one yeah 100% 100% imagine if you let's say by some luck you shuffled up all these cards and all the red cards wound up in one pile we'll call that pile A

and for simplicity's sake we'll call the other pile B and all the black cards wound up in that then then you would say well certainly the number of red cards in deck A or pile A equals a number of black cards in pile B

now I I ask you to construct a scenario where it wouldn't be the case, always. How about one in the 51? Exactly. Take a card out of Pile A and donate it to Pile B. But when you do that, you must reciprocate. Right. You must take a black card from Pile B and donate it to Pile A,

and therefore you have 51 in 1 and 51 and 1. And no matter how you do this, if you wind up with 52 cards in each pile, and this is like, remember the puzzle years ago where you had a thing of, of water and a thing of wine. You took a teaspoon of wine and put it in the... Oh, that one. Same thing.

And part B of the question, how many cards do you have to look at to verify your answer? None. Not a one. Isn't that a great... Well, you think it's great because you got the answer. If you hadn't got the answer,

you'd be all over this thing. For one thing, the answer was a given. Because when you said, what are the chances? I gave it away, you mean? You gave it away? I mean, what are the chances? Are you expecting someone to say 12 out of 49?

Yeah. Or 0.2375? Yeah. Yeah. Everyone who would have thought that that was the answer would have given up. And the only ones who would have not given up would be the ones who said the answer either has to be zero or one. Okay, that's true.

Anyway, who's our winner this week? Our winner this week is Dominic Matrunga. M-A-R-A-N-G-A. Hmm, he's from Mobile, Alabama, and for having his correct answer chosen from among the thousands of correct answers we got, Dominic is going to win a $25 gift certificate to the Car Talk Shameless Commerce Division,

with which he can pick up our new puzzler book, a haircut in Horsetown, and have almost enough left over to get a best-of-carat cassette. So you make Dominic's going to have to fork over some of his own money? It's always the way. He will not have quite enough money to get a second item, so he either has to forfeit the five bucks.

Right. Do we give him the five bucks? What if he buys one? No, we give him nothing. It's a gift certificate. We can't give him back to five bucks. No, because he didn't. So if he wants to use the five bucks, he's going to spend another five bucks.

Oh, plus the shipping and handling. Oh, the shipping and handling where we make out like a bandit. We croak him on that. I love it. Anyway, we'll have another puzzler coming up in the third half of today's show. And I hesitate to say new, but it's new to the vast majority of our listeners because I think I used it about 18 years ago. Huh. In the meantime, we'll take your calls at 1-888-8-8-8-8-8-8-2-7-8-25.

Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, my name is Stephanie, and I'm calling from Middletown, Connecticut. Hi, Stephanie. Middletown. That's like the middle of Connecticut, isn't it? Yes, pretty much it is. Is anything in middle town that we should know about? Wesleyan University.

He heard of it. And me. And you, more importantly. That's correct. Yeah. So what's up? I have a 91 Nissan Center, and it was making some strange noises, some clicking and clacking noises. So I took it to my mechanic, because I thought it was my CV joints.

And he looked at it, and he said that it's my drive shaft as bad. but he said that not to worry about it, I could drive this car for another three to nine months and it would not break on me. Well, your dry shaft is the CV joints. Yeah, you were right. Oh, okay. It is the CV joints. See, I'm a good guesser.

You certainly are. No, we call it diagnostician. Yes, you don't use the word guessing anymore. We don't use guess. It's an FCC regulation. Not allowed to use that term. Well, he told me that it was safe to drive. he told me that if it did break, that the car would shimmy a little, I would not be able to

steer, and that I would coast to the side of the road. And I said, even if I'm going 85, and he said, yes. Well, you would be able to steer. Okay. You wouldn't be able to go if it broke. Okay. But before it broke, it would give me lots of clues that was going to break, because the noises would get a lot more serious than they are now.

Okay. At this point, do you only hear the noise if you're making a turn? Yes. When you get the noise going straight ahead. Then I'm in trouble. Then fix it. On the other hand. Why wait?

Why wait? Exactly. So I should fix it. Well, are you planning to dump the car? Well, I'm thinking of buying a new jetta, actually. Well, when you go to trade this one in, they're going to discount the trade in value. Okay. Because they're going to have to replace the axle.

Okay. If you try to sell it outright, you'll never sell it with this noise. The person who's interested in it is going to discount the price. Uh-huh. So you might as well fix it. You won't have to listen to the damn noise. Well, how much do you think it should cost me to fix it? That's $300 or so.

I don't know. You replaced the whole axle. Okay. See you, Stephanie. Thank you. Bye-bye. Good luck. Thank you.

Bye-bye. 1-888-car talk. That's 888-227-8-255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Catherine. I'm from Loveland, Colorado. Hi, Catherine. Catherine, with a C.

No, with a C. I know it. Really? Yeah. Loveland? Loveland, Colorado. Loveland, Colorado. So what's cooking, Catherine?

Okay, so I have a 1987 Mazda pickup B-2000. Uh-huh. And I just drove from Colorado to Washington State, and I had to make time, so I was going really fast, and I wasn't stopping only for gas. That's all I stopped for. And when I would stop for gas, my car would stop for gas, my car would say. start smoking and burning oil. What do you mean burning oil?

Well, it smelled like oil. And when I would lift up my hood, it was smoking on the engine. You know why? Gotcha. Do you know why? Why? Because you have an oil leak. You know, I figured that.

Yeah. Well, I can't figure out where it's coming from. So I took it to three different, well, two mechanics and a friend of mine who's a mechanic. And they replaced a valve cover gasket. It's too bad. And that didn't do anything. And it only happens when I drive fast for a long period of time. When I just drive around town, it's not a problem at all.

Huh. Yeah. And no one's been able to find any oil on the engine? Oh, no, on the engine they found. They can see where the oil is at. It's on the when you're looking at your engine on the right-hand side, kind of on the bottom is where the smoke comes from. Where are my little dipstick thing is?

Yeah, right. That's where it would be. And that's in the vicinity of the exhaust system. Mm-hmm. And this oil is getting onto the exhaust system and causing the smoke. Right. Are you consuming a lot of oil? No, uh-uh, not really.

I mean, I put one quart of oil in on my way from Colorado to Washington and back again. So why were you rushing up to Washington? Did you have to get Windows 98 installed? What are you doing up there? I have friends who live up there. Oh. And I went on vacation, so. Oh, okay.

And you were the late arrival. Right, exactly. Very late. Well, I mean, the usual technique for finding new early, because you find it anywhere, it's usually down at the bottom and back toward the back of the car. Uh-huh. Because things fall down due to this thing we have as gravity. And they get blown back.

And they get blown back. Uh-huh. So if you find it somewhere, if you go up and forward, you should find where it's actually coming from. Uh-huh. Doesn't that sounds so good and so intuitive and so obvious that every oil leak should be findable? It sounds very simple. But it never works that way. No.

I mean, what they might have to do is steam clean the engine. Uh-huh. Get rid of all the oil that's every place. Uh-huh. And then they might be able to find it. I have a suspicion that the head gasket is leaking oil. Oh. Okay.

Oh. So when you drive it's a sustained high speed, you spit out just enough. It doesn't take much oil spilled on the hot exhaust system to make a lot of smell and a lot of smoke. Okay. Now, what you can do is you can find a shop that has a leak detector kit. There's a dye that you can add to your oil, okay, that will be visible under a black light. So they can put this dye in there. Can you have a party too?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, put on some Grateful Dead. Yeah. Yeah, I think you should play like trucking. That sounds like fun. And then they could find the leak that way, and I bet you they're going to find the head gasket is seeping, but I wouldn't be too worried about it.

Eventually, it will get worse. But you won't own the truck then. And you know what? I've met so many great people, because every time I pull into a gas station, somebody always comes over to tell me that my car's on fire. And then we wind of having a conversation about it. Exactly. You make a new friend.

It's kind of a great way to meet people. Leave it alone. You never know. You might meet the man of your dreams. It's like having a puppy. It's better than having a puppy. You don't have to walk it. See you, Catherine. Thanks. Good luck. All right, it's time to take a short break.

And when we get back, my brother is going to dazzle you with a puzzler that is going to knock your socks. Don't you think you're raising expectations a little bit higher than they ought to be raised? I love watching you fall right in your face. We're going to be back in a minute. Well, my double chins will be. Protect me. We're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us,

Click and Clack the Tappert Brothers, and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and the new slash old puzzler. And we are ready to be dazzled. Oh, really? Yes, we are. Why? Because I promised that.

I don't have dazzled. I promised it. Well, I have received some complaints of late that there haven't been very many automotive puzzlers, and I was reminded of this puzzle when a car that had the same problem came into the shop a few weeks ago. No kidding.

Oh, here it is. A guy came in with his Volvo on the back of the tow truck, and he said, I'm in trouble, I need your help. He said, my clutch cable is broken. And I said, no problem, we can fix it, and he says, ah, that's no all.

The clutch cable is broken five times in the last five months. Oh. And I said, oh, bummer. And I said, well, what happened? He said, I don't know. He said, I had a new clutch put in like six months ago. And when they put the new clutch in, they put a new clutch cable in.

And I said, who did this? He said, some guys who have escaped to a different continent. He said, but within that period of time, the clutch cable breaks. So he puts a new clutch cable in figuring the one they put in was defective. And lo and behold, a month later, that clutch cable breaks. Another month goes by. Another clutch cable breaks. And he says, by this time I was at my wits end, so I took it to another shop,

figuring the clutch had to be defective, right? Ooh. Right? He didn't do it. Right? He didn't do that. He didn't put a new clutch in. He did.

They put a new clutch? So these other guys put a new clutch in and what? A new clutch. Another new cable. And a month later, bingo. No. The cable breaks. So he tells me this whole story.

Wow. And, you know, I did all the preliminary stuff. first before, you know, before I got all these facts. Oh, you got his financial statement. I asked him if he had much exposure in, you know, in Latin American equities, you know, the whole bit. You know, once I found out that he was on firm financial ground, we put a new clutch in this guy. No, I asked him, I said, that's interesting. I said, under what circumstances does it break?

And he said, I start the car. I go to drive it away. I step on the clutch. Or I go to shift it in gear. I get to the corner, for example. I shift into neutral. I go to start when the light turns green. I step in the clutch and the cable breaks.

And I said, well, does the car start now? He said, well, I didn't bother to start it because I couldn't drive it. And I said to him, I bet it won't start. He said, well, of course it should start. Why not? Because it's just the clutch that's broken. And we go out to the yard,

and we turn the key and nada. Absolutely nothing. Not even a click, right? Zilchow. And he says, what does that have to do with my breaking clutch cables? And I say everything. Everything. Yeah, I like it.

Now, if you think you know the answer, write it on the back of a $20 bill and send it to Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3,500, Harvard Square, Cambridge. Our Fair City. Matt, 02238. Or you can email your answer to us from the Car Talk section of what? Cars.com. If you'd like to call us, our number is 1-888-8-8-8-2-27-8-255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. This is Jill from Brighton. Brighton, Massachusetts? That's right. How cool that is. We're ready, Jill. Go ahead. Okay. I have an 87-A-Suzu trooper. It starts out. It only happens when it's very cold, and it's when it's been sitting in the cold.

And I take off out of the driveway, and usually within about two minutes, there's, a loud whirring in one of the front wheels. And that very quickly shifts to the diagonal rear wheel. Then there's a series of loud bangs. Wow. Yeah, I know. And for, oh, I don't know, about 30 seconds, it feels like I'm riding on square wheels. And then the last bang suddenly will just stop all the problem and everything's fine.

Ah! I know. No, I knew you'd like this one. Give us a break, will you? I know. I know everybody who hears it says, you're lying. This can't be happening. You pull out of your driveway.

Yeah. And within two minutes, you hear this loud sound from the left front wheel. Well, sometimes it's the right. Okay, but a whirring sound. A word. Oh, higher pitched? Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, no, more like, Woo!

Okay, got it. Okay. Number one noise. Okay. So that lasts for a minute or so. And it's very loud. It sounds metallic. Sounds metallic.

And all of a sudden. It switches to the opposite. Diagonally opposite real wheel. Exactly. And then there's a series of very loud bangs. Woo! And then boom, boom, boom. Yes.

It's very metallic. And then there's a series of boom. What are your neighbors is taking shots at you? You know, I can't imagine what this is, but there are people who can vouch for me. There are a couple of people who have heard it. Votes for your sanity? Yes. Has a trained professional heard this noise?

He says he has. He says he has. He fixed it supposedly. It seemed like he fixed it, but it came back. Did he fix it by taking apart the front hubs, the locking hubs on the four-wheel drive? Yeah, that was one thought, or the calipers. The calipers? Yeah, he replaced the calipers.

And that fixed it for a while? Well, it seemed like it, but, you know, it doesn't happen all the time. So you don't know. It may have done nothing. Yeah, it may have done nothing. Geez, I mean, I think you have two different things going on. I think the whirring noise is coming from your locking four-wheel drive hubs in the front. I like it. And there may be no remedy for that.

A lot of four-wheel-drive vehicles do this. Uh-huh. We've seen it on troopers. We've seen it on Toyota Land Cruises and what's other things? Four-runners quite a bit. The other noise, I think, is a stuck emergency brake. So that as you begin to drive away, the brake is sticking, and it's causing the wheel to lock, release, you know, grab, release, grab release.

And that would account for the boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, coming from the back. Right. I would ignore the first noise, but I would certainly have the second noise looked at. Okay, I will. The handbrake. Yeah. I'm going to suggest that. Next time, I bother somebody with this problem.

Yeah. Good luck, Jill. Thanks so much. See you. 1-8-88-car talk, that's 888-227-8-255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hello. Yeah.

How are you guys doing? We're doing great. Okay, I'm in San Diego. Who are you? Well, they call me Crash Corwin. Crash Corwin? Yes. Crash.

Now, I wonder why. Oh, I don't know if you want to hear the story. Oh, you're kidding. Of course we do. Every detail. Oh, God. Well, make a long story short, I was in the Navy, and I fell off for one of those great things.

ships. You did? Yeah, well, it wasn't so bad because I didn't land in the water. I landed on the pier. Oh, that's better? Well, it would have been worse, but the guy that I landed on, it was on the pier, softened the blow. How high up were you when you fell off?

It was about, it was one of those rope ladders in Subic Bay, Philippines. It was kind of drizzling rainy, and it was about 20 guys on the length of this whole ladder. Yeah. And I was being real show-off because a couple hundred guys down below watching a couple hundred guys of above waiting to get off because we didn't have a gang plank and I started going over the guys showing off.

Nothing happens to me when everybody looks at me. I've got to do something smart. So it was working. It was working fine. And I was going over these guys, straight on my elbows kind of going around them. And then, well, I stepped on this guy's fingers. And then the whole line started kind of slowly twisting and kind of doing ways. Well, I just clawed my way down these guy's backs and led on his guy's shoulders just as he was walking away. Oh, great. And, of course, a fight broke out. That's good, Krasch.

Yeah. I need to be proud of that. So has your life been one constant calamity after another? No, it's been pretty good, but the name has been good to carry me through the little music I play around town and stuff and the dance instructions. Yeah. So what are you calling us for? Pretty much eliminates the possibility of being like a driving instructor.

I got fired from that job a long time. Yeah, he's our chief instructor, Crash Corp. Yeah, business didn't go well. I had to quote. So what's going on? Well, I have this Mazza 626. Uh-huh. G.T.

How old is it? It's an 86? Yeah. My girlfriend and I get sick when we drive this car. We really do. Really? It sways from left to right. It's just nauseated.

Maybe you're making each other sick. So is this a slow sway, you know, one, you know, it's a yaw, right? In other words, the car... It's like being at sea again, back in the Navy. And, you know, some ships have a list. It's like being in an elevator, it kind of goes up, but then at the peak it goes to the left and goes to the right. It's like the power steering is... oversensitive. I turn it just a little bit.

Yeah. And then that's where this, that's where it starts. Yeah. And, you know, I put new shocks on the car. That helped a lot. And I put new bushings on the tie rods or something to kind of help it from sway. Sway bar, whatever. Sway bar bushings. Yeah, yeah. Oh, really? Cool. Didn't mean to hit you to the punchline here, but I, you know.

No, no, no, that's okay. I have many tricks up my sleeve. So this means, since someone has actually looked at these and replaced them, I suspect that that means that that's, same someone, has looked at the entire front end and knows that you don't have idler arms that are falling off. You don't have an idler arm. Ball joints that are falling off. Tyroids that are falling off.

You don't have any of that stuff. Well, you know, when I got the sharks done, I said, see anything else? He said, well, he said he didn't really look. So that's when I came back and I brought my own bushings because I just read about it out of it. Oh, oh, that was a self-diagnostic procedure. Ah, so he didn't look at the other stuff.

But I didn't know if there was, what else could there be, you know? I guess he didn't like that. Well, I have to ask you one question. When it does drift to the left and you correct to the right, does it seem like it overcorrects very easily? Yes. Now, it's minimal. It's not as bad as it used to be, but that's the, yes, that's the tendency. What I think is wrong with this is something that they may easily have overlooked or done wrong.

Oh, great. And I think that your alignment is off, especially what's called. the caster the caster. Yeah, the caster component of the alignment is what keeps the car going, among other things. In a straight line. In a straight line. And it also makes it correct

to straight after you've made a turn. For example, if you're cast, you know how casters on a T-cart, the wheel will always follow behind when you turn no matter what. It goes on the direction you push it. Well, that's what that caster part of the alignment does. It makes sure that the

car follows so that when you make a turn, for example, and you let go of the wheel, the wheel straighten out. And if the caster is way off, it's very difficult to drive the car at high speed because it goes kind of where it wants to go. And if you had, for example, overinflated tires, the car would be almost impossible to drive. So I'm willing to bet that whoever did your struts, did not then go ahead and align the thing. Oh, alignment. No, no, he did say he aligned it. He threw that in for free. Well, I think he aligned it wrong. Okay.

Or it's either that or it's your girlfriend. Oh, it's my girlfriend's fault. Can I tell her you said that? No, Ray. Tell her Ray said that. Well, I didn't want this to talk. Well, good luck. And make sure you double-checked the tire inflation, too, because that could do it as well.

All right, thanks for that. Good luck, crash. You may be living up to your name if you keep driving it like this. Okay. Watch out if you're in San Diego. Don't worry, we will. Thanks. Thanks for the warning.

Bye-bye. Goodbye. Well, it's happened again. You've squanded another perfectly good hour. It seemed like about three, didn't it? Listening to car talk. Our esteemed producer is Doug the subway fugitive, not a slave to fashion vermin. Our associate producer is Ken the diaper slayer Rogers.

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