The Best of Car Talk - #2583: Tell Us Your Fantasies

Episode Date: October 18, 2025

Katherine was looking for some simple but sage advice on what sort of mid-life crisis car would be right for her and instead of a make and model she’s getting a complete psychological work up from Drs. Click and Clack on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

In the U.S., national security news can feel far away from daily life. Distant wars, murky conflicts, diplomacy behind closed doors. On our new show, Sources and Methods. NPR reporters on the ground bring you stories of real people, helping you understand why distant events matter here at home. Listen to sources and methods on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers,

and we're broadcasting this week from the Image Problem Department here at Car Talk Plaza. I don't want to get us into any trouble, but do you know who Junior Gaudy is? Yeah, he plays center field for the Mariners. Oh, no, no, Junior Gordy is the son of the mob boss, John Gaudy. Goddy from New York. Junior Griffey. That's Junior Griffey. There was an article in the Boston Globe, our local newspaper here in Boston, all places,

about John Gotti, who evidently has been a disappointment to his father. As many are, as we have been. Exactly. Because Junior just doesn't seem to have a knack for the family business. Evidently, you know, he screws up everything. Instead of being a good fellow, the New York newspaper. papers call him dumb fella, he would go to visit his father in jail, and his father would spend the whole time yelling at him. Now, to add to it, to confirm that he really is not boss

material, I'm going to ask you a simple question. What car do you think junior gaudy drives? Oh, caddy? No. Um, town car? No. Uh, all right, let me go to the other end of the Spectrum. A Kia Sportage? You're so close. He drives a Dodge minivan. I mean, how can you be a mob boss and drive around in a minivan? He's trying to change the whole image of the whole organization. Maybe he's trying to bring mobness into the 21st century. I mean, talk about doing everything wrong. But it's, what the heck? Who knows? Maybe he's a good guy. Maybe he is a good guy. And if he's not cut out for the job...

Why do it? Why do it? Exactly right. There's an old Italian expression. If the shirt doesn't fit right, rip it off, and throw it away. Oh, yeah? My mother has told me to return it. After you've wanted three times.

Hey, by the way, we have a dart update. Yeah. Coming up later on, we'll discuss that. And by the way, I'm working on the epilogue to the... The string puzzlers? No, no, no, no, no, no. The poem about your dart that was read last week. Yeah, wasn't that great?

Whatever that was, yes, I have a few closing stanzas, which are not quite ready for, yes, they're in the works. Will they be ready during the show? No, because how they're going to get ready, you'll be here. Well, not unless you can answer any questions. If you'd like to call us the numbers, 1-888-car talk, that's 888-227-8-25. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Francine from Falls Church. Francine, and do they really call you Francine?

Yes. Yeah? No kidding. See, I have a friend whose name I think is Francine. It is. And everyone calls her Fran. Yeah. And I call her Francine.

And she sort of gets angry with me for calling her that. Oh, well, I used to be called Fran, but I went to Francine because I like my name. It's a pretty name. It is. It's a very pretty name. And I'm going to insist on calling her Francine whether she likes it or not. I think you should. I think I should, too.

What do I kid? what she wants. So what's going on, Fran? Well, I've got I got a 1987 Toyota. Toyota what? Camry? Camry. And it's given me 12 years of loyal faithful service. And I'm

turning 50 after the millennium next year. The answer is a geezer. Mazda Miata. You've had enough of a penance driving a good reliable car. You need some excitement. I need some excitement. I need some excitement. I'm spoiled by such a good

reliable car. So I wanted with your vast encyclopedic knowledge of automobiles, if you could help me figure out what midlife crisis car I'd get. I've had the crises. I deserve the car. It depends on who you are. Tell us about yourself, Francine. We need to know about you, Francine. We need to find

out who you are, what you do, what you like. Tell us about your fantasies. Is that the... No, no. That's a different show. I don't think this is the right show. Well, I mean, What turns you on? I mean, what would... Well, I do love to drive fast, but I've always been very, very pragmatic.

I have the side that likes to take risks and stuff, but it's balanced by this very pragmatic side. I mean, if we said something like a BMW, what would you say to that? Isn't it expensive to keep? All right, that's the pragmatic side. That's the pragmatic side, but what is it, how does it feel? What does the right side of your brain say? Yeah, wow. That says a sob.

Sob? It says sob. It says sob. Oh, sob might be a car for you. Does it say sob convertible? Well, it does, but I don't have a garage, so I don't think it's a garage. It doesn't matter. That's an old, that's an old, old, old belief that you have to take a convertible and stick it in a garage.

Really? I've had convertibles all my life. I never had a garage. He never put the top up, though. Yeah, and you don't have to worry about it. And the bird droppings are a little bit tough to get off the convertible top. You must admit. They are, but who cares?

So, I mean, Assad, I mean, they should make a convertible top. The same color as bird droppings. The bird drop top. Sounds like the ticket. Why not, right? What does a convertible idea do for you? A lot. A lot.

A lot. We may have honed right in on it. See, I mean, Assam actually does satisfy a lot of your criteria. I mean, it's fast, it's sporty, it's exciting, and it's safe. It's practical. And practical. Yeah, but isn't it expensive to keep? No, I mean, no more than...

No more than a Mercedes. ...an expensive cars. Yeah, but I'm so spoiled with my toy. Yeah, no. You will definitely go into Sobshock. No, I mean, when you take it in... I mean, it's going to take a few years. If you plan to buy a new one, it will take a few years for something to break.

And whereas it took 10 years probably for something to break on the Camry, it'll take a few years for something significant to break on the Camry. the sob and when you take it into the dealer for something that you think ought to be $20 and it's $375 then you'll start to get some sob shock well I was going to follow y'all's advice to always buy a used car and not a new one yeah now I'm single so is this going to help me catch guys too oh I'm telling you you're going to love it okay and what about taking stuff to the dealer should I find a private shop Or dealer?

I would. I would find both. I mean, for maintenance. Well, for maintenance, you can go to a private shop or non-dealer sanctioned shop. Yeah. But you should also develop, and you will develop a relationship with the dealer, too. I mean, you should always have a fallback place. You should.

Because there will be things that your local guy can't do. But you ought to find someone who has had sob experience because sobs are sort of like Pujos in a lot of respects. Yeah. As my son says, it's like they made a car without ever looking to see what anybody else was doing. They must have collaborated with the French. They might have collaborated with the French. They just didn't care what anybody else was doing.

They just said, let's see, where should we put this? And they just decided where to put it? And they never said, where does everybody else put it? Well, don't forget that Saab originally was making airplanes. Yeah. And it took them a long time to even take the wings off the cars. That's why they look funny. Francine, you are all set.

You need a three-year-old sob convertible, and then you're going to find yourself a mechanic, and you're going to find yourself some guy who's going to find you, actually, when he sees you driving down the street there in Falls Church with your hair blowing in the breeze. That sounds great. Yeah. I can see it.

Do it right away, because this is the time. A month from now, it's going to be perfect time. That's what I figured. And let us know when you nab that fella. I will. All right, Francy. Keep us post. Thank you.

Good luck. Take care. Bye-bye. That was easy because she really knew what she wanted. Yeah, it was good she told us because we didn't have a clue. I mean, how were we ever going to come to sob convertible? Never. I mean, of all the cars that are out there, but we have homed in on that one car, I doubt it.

So why did she call us? She didn't need us. She wanted... Yes, positive reinforcement. Corroboration. Okay, do you remember last week's Puzzler talked about corroboration? It was about the two pieces of string and a zippo lighter. You know, you're getting like within a week or two of having the right answer.

Was I right about the zipple? This message comes from Wise, the app for using money around the globe. When you manage your money with Wise, you'll always get the mid-market exchange rate with no hidden fees. Join millions of customers and visit wise.com.

T's and C's Apply. Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Clack the Tappert Brothers, and we hear to talk about cars, car repair, and of course the answer the last week's puzzler, and here it is. What was the question? About the Zippo Lighter, remember?

Several months ago, I was at Logan Airport here in Boston. I just go to smell the jet fuel, and I don't really fly any place. And thank God that you're not getting on a plane. No, and while I was there, I happened to see an old college chum of mine, and as I'm struggling to remember his name, what happens? Inevitably, he disappears into the crowd, and I think, gee, that's too bad. I would have liked to have said hello to him, if nothing else. Yeah.

Where the heck did he go? He was my roommate for the three years, and I'm sure he still wants his 200 bucks back. I'd borrow 200 bucks for me. But for the life of me, I can't remember his name. All I can remember is that he lived in the Midwest someplace. So I run to those overhead monitors, and I see that there are like a dozen flights

going to destinations in the Midwest. You know, Missouri, Iowa, Indiana, New Jersey, Florida. Springfield. Puerto Rico. All those Midwest states. So it's hopeless. And I stand there for a minute, And suddenly, I come up with a plan, and two minutes later, I find him.

Really? Aren't you clever? How did I do it? Well, I will confess that there were obfuscations here. The fact the Midwest thing was an obfuscation. Yeah. A red herring. Completely red herring.

Completely red herring. Blazing red herring. And then when I say I'd find him, I didn't find him. No. He found me. Exactly. Because I went to the customer service desk. A white phone.

The white foam. And I paged myself. Exactly. And he says, That, no. I'm going to go collect that $200. That sleaze ball hasn't paid me for 20 years. And there he was.

And there he was. With his hands are on your neck. His hands are in my wallet. If you had given that, if you had given that as part of the puzzle. And within two minutes, he had found me and had his hands are on my neck. That would have done it. Anyway, who's our winner this week? Winner, the winner, is Susan Dyer from Seattle, Washington.

And for having her correct answer chosen from among all the correct answers that we got this week, which is two. Susan will get a $25 gift certificate to the Car Talk, shameless commerce division, with which she can pick up our new book of collected puzzles called, what, a haircut in Horsetown, currently number two on the New York Times Best Smeller list. The book actually has a very nicer roll. He has roses, I think. Yeah, and we did it purposely. Yes, because we know we didn't sell them otherwise.

Yeah. Anyway, we'll have a new puzzler coming up in the third half of today's show. In the meantime, we'll, of course, take your calls at 1-888-car talk. That's 888-227-8-255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Tom Van Herron in Boca Raton, Florida. Hi, Tom. Boker Raton.

You know the place. Sure, man. How is it there? Oh, it's beautiful. We haven't had any rain all year, but it's beautiful. Yeah, well... We haven't had any rain either in the northeast. No, there's been no rain.

No. No snow either. Yes, better, no snow. Better no snow. You haven't had any snow either, I'd take it. Yeah, we haven't had any snow since about 1975. That's good. Cool.

So what's going on, Tom? I've got a blue Honda cord. 92. 92 blue. About 83,000 miles. Oh. The way I'm seeing it, I either have two very simple problems or one extraordinarily difficult one. Okay, lay it on us, man.

Here's what goes on. We just, I actually had a blow out on the road, so we replaced the tires. Okay, front tires, both of them. Car drives great, things are doing fine, except now, when I go around a turn, I get a noise. Okay, we know what that one is. Good. That's easy. That's good.

And it makes it on right-hand turns? Right and left-hand. And the noise is coming alternately or from the same side every time? No, it'll make it in both sides. The sharper, the turn, the louder the noise, and the faster I'm going, the louder the noise. And did this happen, the very day that you put the new tires on are a week later? About a week later, I think. Good. Good. Good!

Don't ever discount. Dumb luck. So, now, here I am. New tires. Balanced, right? Yeah. First day, got it out on the highway in Florida, turnpike, speed limit 70. No problem. A week later, I can't do 70 because the steering wheel starts to shake in my hand. Uh-huh. And this is a pretty severe vibration.

If I do it, I'll actually get a headache. Wow. So I keep slowing down. Well, at this point, I'm at 48 miles an hour. Really? Really. And you haven't gone back at all? Well.

To have them look at it. Because I have a theory that fits everything. Well, I mean, for one thing, you shouldn't keep driving. I mean... Something is seriously wrong. Something is seriously wrong. And here's what I think is wrong. I'm going to write down in small print.

I am too. And I'm going to show you mine. Don't go away, Tom. Okay, I'm waiting. Okay, I've got my two ideas written down. Let me see yours. Oh, you got your head of them. Both of these fit every criterion.

Yeah, well, that's the one I wrote, and that's the one it is. It is... My brother and I did agree, actually. We did agree, actually. You have what we believe are loose wheel nuts. That's why I said you shouldn't be driving. Loose wheel nuts. Yeah, the wheels are ready to fall off.

Yes, I think when the wheels are loose, these are the nuts that hold the wheel to the rest of the car. If they are loose, you can get unusual noises when you turn and accelerate. Because the wheels are wobbling against the lug nuts. Because there are forces at work there that aren't there when you're just accelerating at a straight-ahead fashion. And the reason that it's happening, that it's getting worse every day is that the lug nuts are ready to fall off into the street if some of them haven't already. So don't drive another foot.

You're not on your cell phone, are you? I wouldn't, I mean, I'd be willing to bet five bucks. I mean, I originally thought that you had a bad CV joint or maybe two bad CV joints. Yeah, but the coincidence is too strong. We dismissed that because of coincidence. Probabilities. So you're saying open up my trunk. And get your lug wrench out.

Get your lug wrench out, and you'll find that all of those lug nuts are loose. Okay, well, I have one quick question. I go out there, okay, and the car is parked out of my window here. Uh-huh. Yeah. I try to tighten these lug nuts. Yeah. They are completely tight on the tire.

Then what? Then what? Do I call you guys again? Call us right back. You'll never take a guy like me twice. We will. No, no. We like we took you the first time.

No, you want to go out? go do it, go do it. Call us back. We'll be here. And if it is... You're going to do it right now. You promise. Okay. All right. See. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. 1-8-88-car talk. That's 888-278-255. Hello, you're on car talk. 1-888-8-2-7-8-255. Hello, you're on car talk.

Hi. This is Denise, and I am from East Point, Michigan. Hi, Denise Point, East Point, Michigan. East Point, Michigan. Yeah, we got it. All right. I have a 1990 Dodge Monaco. It is my parents. They are giving it to me.

I flew from Michigan to Texas and drove them home. And I'm sure the car's never been driven over 50 miles an hour, and so when I'm driving them home, I'm going much faster. Because you're anxious to get rid of them. Hello. You got the news. Now, they are darlings, but it was a long... Oh, yes.

You didn't know it was 8,000 miles from Michigan to Texas. In slow motion. So, wait, let me get this straight. You went to Texas to get the car and you drove it back to Michigan. With my parents in it. Why? And they're going to fly back to Texas. Well, this is all up in the air right now.

Or they're moving in with you. We are going into life changes here, and we're not quite where this is all going to head. Oh, oh. So they're staying with you at the moment? No, they have a home near Flint, Michigan. Ah, okay. So I drove them there. But on the first day and the last day of this trip,

and I am going much faster than 50, the car starts making a moose call from below, it seemed below the driver's seat, but outside. It is a howl. Oh, woo, woo, and loud. Oh, my. So, of course, my sweet mother said, well, we better not go over 60 miles an hour.

And I'm thinking, I'm not going to get to Michigan until 2000. So I just talked louder. Yeah. And it happened again on the last day, which was the fourth day, but I came from both sides of the car. It was the fourth day, but it felt like the 12th day. you know so much you know so much

this has really been an ordeal you know and it's you can't to lie down while you tell us about this well it seems that on this first day and the fourth day the wind was blowing

a lot yeah what is going on with this car well I have no idea at this point what it is but I'm going to maybe this will give you some insight I remember years ago

I had a customer that came to the shop with a similar noise. In fact, it speeds above 40 miles an hour. The howling from the underside of this car was so annoying that it just, he couldn't stand it. Right. And we assumed it was a wheel bearing or a transmission bearing or some such thing or a bad differential gear.

And finally, after like my ninth test drive, I remember I had the window, one of the driver's side window open, and I had my hand. sticking out the window, touching the roof rack. Yeah. And all of a sudden, I realized the noise was coming from the roof rack. See, this is what I'm thinking is there something's catching this air. Well, the fact that you said it happened on very windy days is very encouraging. Okay.

And you obviously don't have a roof rack on it. No. Yeah. And you said it sounded like it was coming from underneath. Or the outside of the car. it kind of seemed like it was from underneath me, but on the outside. Boy, this is so hard.

It could easily be coming from a windshield leak, for example, or weather strip, you know, that's not seated properly. Okay. And that could make a terrible howling noise. I remember a few years ago, and that's what this was, was howling. It was a howling.

Hondas had a problem with wind noise coming from windshields that weren't seated correctly, and it would make that same kind of noise at 60 miles an hour to get that. Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-noise. Excellent. Woo-woo. But you've got to take it to somebody who can drive it and say, oh, yeah, I know exactly what this is.

I mean, you can try experimenting yourself. If you run into a brick wall, you can try getting a roll of duct tape and taping up the window, not the part that you look through. Right. But, you know, the scene where it meets the body. Right, right, right. And see if you can change it. Okay. All right, I'll give it a try.

And you can also try experimenting by opening one of the. Other windows are crack in order of the door windows. And see if that eliminates it or makes it happen. Exactly. Excellent. Gentlemen, thank you. Denise, I wish you the best of luck in all your endeavors, including getting your parents back to Texas.

Thank you. Bye. Bye, bye. Hey, we have back on the phone, Tom, with the lug nuts. Tom, you're there. I am here, yes. And? They are all tight.

Oh, no. They're now tight because they're not tight because, They were loose, and you tighten them, right? No. No, no, this is clearly a plan B time. It's Plan B time. Really? Yeah.

Well, I think the first order of business is to limp it to the nearest tire shop and have them balance these tires and see if one of them is not defective. But it's possible that you have tread separation, and that would account for the fact that you are driving increasingly slower speeds. Plan B, this is Plan B. This is very good. But this wouldn't account for a slow speed noise and a turn. It could.

Oh, yeah. It could. Definitely. Okay. I would go immediately to the closest tire shop. Tell them what's going on. Make them test drive it at 50 miles an hour. Don't go with them.

No, no. Tell me you're going to make a phone call. Too dangerous. And they'll figure out that you have a bad tire. And I think that's going to solve your problem. I do too. I mean, it sounds very dangerous to me. Okay.

Well, that's my biggest concern. All right. And Tom, don't call back. No, call back. I want to know. Yeah, we do. All of America wants to know now. All of America wants to know.

Does Tom have a bad tire? We'll talk next week. Okay. Say it, Tom. Thank you very much, as always. Guys are great. Okay. Thanks. All right.

All right. It's time to take a break and try to scrape up another puzzler. That's kind of a defeatist attitude. Scrape up. You mean fine tune, don't you? You want to fine tune. No, I mean scrape up. Ha!

We're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Clack, the Tappard Brothers, and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and the new puzzler. Here it is. This guy is a new house built. You're paying attention. You need to pay careful attention because there are all kinds of... When you speak, I always, I always pay attention because I know that you are going to one of these days

come out with some words of pearls of wisdom. But it hasn't happened. It hasn't happened yet. So pay attention. And his luck would have it. His entire backyard is just dirt. And he's planning on having a big Fourth of July celebration. So he goes to the local nursery and he says to the guy, look, I've got to buy some grass seed.

He said, because it's almost June 1st and I've got to have this party in Fourth of July weekend. I want a yard full of grass. Yeah. Sood, they tell him. He says, sword's too expensive. Can't afford that. Too much money. He says, well, how much is seed?

And they discuss various options. And finally, the fellow at the nursery, he says, hey, We have this new product. He said, it just came in a few months ago. He said, you may be interested in it. It's a plug of grass. He said, well, what's that? He looks about the size of your fist.

Could be a part of your dart, even. And he says, you plant this in your lawn, in a central location, and every day, it doubles in size. So he asked the owner of the house to draw a little picture of his backyard with the dimensions. And because he says, you may need a lot of it. of these and the guy said well let's figure it out and he says well he said i've done all the math you need one he said even if i plant this thing like june first by june 30th i'll have a lawn and the guy said well according to my calculations no problem he said and then what you have to do is once the lawn is in place you have to spray it with this arrestor spray so it doesn't

continue to and grow up the side of your house right doesn't subsume your car you know the driveway yeah sure and the guy says you show you you're sure you show you did the math correctly. The guy says, I'm telling you, he said, plant one of these, and in 30 days, you'll have a full lawn in your backyard. Wow. And he says, great. He said, but just to be in the safe side, I want two. Good thinking. Wasn't that good thinking? Well, I mean, why not? So the question is, if, in fact, one would give him a lawn in 30 days, if he plants it on June 1st, by June 30th, he'd have his entire lawn when he buys two

what day must he apply within let's say with plus or minus two days what day must he apply the arrest to spray to stop it from subsuming his car his garage and his kids yeah that's the question

why is it plus or minus just to obfuscate even further all right that's good If you think you know the answer, write it on the back of a $20 bill or a piece of ripe fruit or fish. Fish is good. It's fish season. Yes.

A lot of people go out fishing at this time of year. We accept freshwater fish only. Oh, is that right? Oh, yeah, because the stink is. And send that correspondence to Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3,500, Harvard Square, Cambridge. Our Fair City. or of course you can email your answer to us from the car talk section of cars.com. If you'd like to call us, the number is 1-888-car talk.

That's 1-8-8-8-car talk, which is 8-8-8-car talk. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Kathleen from Atlanta. Hi, Kathleen. Boy, you sound chipper. Oh, boy. I guess I am. Yeah. Yes, you sound so happy.

I'm hoping you can resolve this problem. We shall. Okay. Kathleen would do anything for you. A voice like that, isn't it interesting that a voice can be so powerful? Exactly. I mean, Kathleen has a friendly, happy, engaging. I mean, we would do anything for her.

Right. She might be the worst person in the world, but she doesn't sound it. No, no, no. No, she doesn't sound it. And she may in the next few minutes prove herself to be nothing like what her voice is. Oh, I hope not. So if we're disappointed, if we sound disappointed at the end of this call. Don't take it personally.

Take it personally because... So, all right, what's the problem, Kathleen? Okay, I have 100,000 miles on my Buick century, and although it's seen me through a lot of hard times, it's time for this car to go. My family, mother and brother predominantly, are convinced that in order to survive on the main streets of Atlanta, I must drive a sports utility vehicle like everybody else in this town.

This is an ethical, moral, I mean, there's no end. It covers all the bases. It covers everything. Well, do you think? Well, I mean, it's one of those, do I go with the flow here, so to speak, and try to put myself in a position of power at the expense of many, many other people, even though I know that I present a danger to them, only because I am so selfish that I want to prevent any injury to myself. See, though, I just, I don't want one. I want to drive a car.

Unfortunately, the car I've decided I really want to drive is a VW. Passat. Which is a very nice car. Boy, well, I would say that a VW. Passat is certainly a good compromise. A good compromise. Yeah. What is a compromise?

Well, it's a compromise because it's a, it's a, small car, but it's not that small. And it's not that light. I think a facade weighs 3,000 pounds. Okay. Well, it is a lot smaller than your Buick century. It's a lot smaller than the Buick century, but it's a lot bigger than

a lot of cars on the road. And those Toyota Land Cruises are going to squash you like a mud chigger. This is not what I want to hear. Well, I mean, but that's the ethical issue. Because either you're going to join those crazies who are driving those SUVs. And I have to say that I don't agree with the

SUV philosophy. But if you don't join them, it's sort of like the guys on the freeway. They're driving 70 miles an hour, even though the sign says 55. And if you try to go 55, you're going to get killed. So the question is, what do you do? Do you break the law and do 70 miles an hour like they're doing? Or do you try to make some kind of a statement that, hey, guys, you shouldn't be doing that. So you're going to decide, are you some kind of a moral preacher? Or are you going to just say, I don't care what happens. I'm going to do what I have to do.

And most people succumb to mob rule. Yeah. Because the crowd says, if you don't drive one of these, even though it's against your better judgment, you're putting yourself at great risk. Especially if your mother and your brother are telling you the same thing. What do they drive? A Jeep and a Ford Explorer You're done for

And if you get If you buy this Passat And you get killed You'll never hear the end of it And for that matter You'll never even hear the beginning of it You hope you won't hear the beginning of it You certainly won't hear the end of it

Absolutely So I mean I would This is a This tells everything This says everything about you I just, I don't want to be another one of those people. Well, then don't. Well, then don't, start the trend.

You start the trend to going back to reasonably sized cars. I think it's not so that everyone's driving these towering behemoths. Yeah. That they, in many cases, don't know how to drive and can't handle correctly, and they are endangering other people. I don't want to get started on things like the Ford excursion. Right. I mean, I don't want to get started. And I think it's terribly irresponsible that any car maker, just to satisfy the bottom line or some niche market, should build a car that's that unreasonable.

All the bottom feeders, for that matter. It's as irresponsible as building a car that can go 200 miles an hour. Yeah. Right. So if I'm going to make a big moral statement with my next purchase here. Yes. Yes. Make your moral statement.

Buy the facade. So now you're on my side and you save me money too. I'm on your side and I haven't changed my mind since I first heard your voice. I'm still a good person. You're better than good. You're wonderful. You're great. I'm so really.

See you. And tell your mother and your brother, flake off. I'll let you tell you. There comes a time when you have to say that. Absolutely. Flake off. I appreciate the backup. Thank you.

Bye, bye, Kathleen. Don't have a talk to work. Well, it's happened again. You've squanded another perfectly good hour listening to Car Talk. Our esteemed producer is Doug the subway fugitive, not a slave to fashion Berman. Our associate producer is Ken the Diaper Slayer Rogers. Our assistant producer is Catherine.

I'm having a bad leather day, Ray. Our engineer is Dennis DeMittanyl. And our technical, spiritual, and menu advisor is Mr. John S. Lawler. Our customer care representative is Haywood Jabuzzoff. Our mortgage loan consultant is Nora Linderby. Our staff chiropractor is Winston Payne. Our chief negotiator is Bernadette Bridget. And the manager of our donkey-based video equipment is Cameron D.S.

What about all the old people? people that used to work for us like K. Serra. Yeah, Paul Murky. Paul Merck. I mean, you know what happened to all those old standby people? Yeah. Did they quit? I mean, they don't work for us anymore? Yeah. How about it's a big new Chrysler? I mean, what happened to him?

It was one of my favorites. My brother's personal physician is Carmen dating. Our staff dietitian is normally Choward, and our chief counsel from the law firm of Dewey Cheyman Howe is you, Louis. Dui, known to the IRS auditors as Ui, Louis, Dewey. Thanks so much

listening. We're clicking clack for Tappert Brothers. Don't drive like my brother or my son. You certainly don't want to drive like my son or my brother. We'll be back next week. Bye-bye. And now, here is Cox Park Plaza's assistant chief mechanic, Mr. Vinnie Bag of Donuts. Thank you very much. If he's wanted a copy of this week's show, which is number 17, All you're going to do is call 888 car junk. That's all you're going to do? You don't have to pay for the stuff?

Can you cut his microphone, like, right off? You can't cut my microphone. I have just as much right to be here. That's better. Now, if you want other car talk stuff like books, T-shirts, or CDs, you call that same number 888 car junk or visit the online shameless commerce division

at the cart-talk section of cars.com. You got anything else to say, Mr. Funny Man? Ain't technology wonderful? Car Talk is a production of Dewey Cheatham and Howe and WBUR in Boston. And even though Al Gore backs off his claim that he invented NPR, when he gets us saying, this is NPR, National Public Radio.