The Best of Car Talk - #2592: How to Divorce Your Car

Episode Date: November 18, 2025

Ellen from Boston has had enough and wants to divorce her Honda. It's been in 3 accidents, vandalized repeatedly and been hit by a falling tree. Will Click and Clack agree that this union was simply not meant to be, or will they suggest some expensive counseling sessions at the Good News Garage first? Find out on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Support for NPR and the following message comes from the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. RWJF is a national philanthropy working toward a future where health is no longer a privilege but a right. Learn more at RWJF.org. Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us Click and Clack to Tappert Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the new diet division here at Cartham Plaza. Now, as you know, every year or so, or maybe it seems like every month, a new diet fad sweeps the country. And as we know, all too well, none of them works. No.

You always end up standing in front of the freezer at midnight eating a cheesecake right out of the box. But here's a diet that might actually work, and it was invented by none other than our dad. And this is going to work. Oh, absolutely. I mean, it's a simple matter of stoichiometry. Right. What goes in, either comes out or stays inside and turns to what?

Fat. Right. But my father, man, the guy's a genius. One day, my mother is out of the house for the day. I don't know. She goes to the bar down the street. Who knows what she does? She comes back in the middle of the average.

afternoon and she says to my father, do you have lunch? He says, oh yeah. She says, what'd you have? He said, I had that frozen chicken pie that we had in the freezer. She says, oh, how was it? He said, it was delicious. Who's, huh? So she's roaming around the house and she walks by the microwave. She peaks in the microwave and there's the chicken pie. She opens the chicken pie. She opens the door and she says, Lou, you didn't eat the chicken pie. He says, I didn't. But it was so delicious. Well, I realized that he was satisfied by the aroma. That could have been it. It smelled great. We call this the geriatric diet because all you got to do is remember that you ate it. And you ate it. And you ate it. It's good enough. He was completely satisfied and had a memory of it being delicious.

so we are going to inject into people's brains forgetful stuff. I don't think I need a dose. So that you will have the memory of having had lunch, dinner, anything you want. And this is a diet that stoichiometrically

can't lose. I mean, maybe you just need to look at the pictures of the stuff. We'll work up to that. I mean, why bother buying the whole chicken? I mean, you have to buy it. I think the money you save. I mean, one chicken, bye,

could last you two or three months until it starts to get moldy. Why don't you get sick me? He might say, so you know

I had that yesterday. No, because we can fix it so you want remember that he had it yesterday.

Oh, boy, you're evil. He's going to hear this and we're in trouble. But he can take a joke. God bless him.

If you want to talk to us about your car or your diet or anything else, our number is 1-888- car talk

that's 8-88-28-2-7. 8-8-8. Get it? I ate, I ate, I ate, Ah, that's the mantra. I eight, I eight, I eight, I eight. That's what you do all day.

Maybe you don't even have to do the injections. I eight, I eight, I eight. Just sit down and you say, I eight, I eight, two, two, seven, eight, two five, five. Hello, you're on car talk. This is Gary Jacobs from New Smyrna Beach, Florida. Hi, Gary. From where Florida? New Smyrna Beach.

New Smyrna Beach. We're just south of Daytona Beach. New Smyrna. I have it. I figured that. Yeah. New, I've never heard of New Smyrne. What was so bad?

about Oldsmurter Beach? Well, I don't know. I've never been there. Oh, just curious. Yeah, so what's up, Gare? I have a mechanical moral dilemma. Moral. An MM.

Mechanical. We're ready. All right, I'm a doctor. Two doors down is a mechanic. And I have a 1995 Toyota pickup truck that I always changed my own oil on. But I worked out of deal with a mechanic. And don't tell me, he's driving a Jaguar. And I worked out of deal with him that he would change my oil and do all the mechanical, you know, routine mechanical things,

and I'd take care of his family for free. Really? Yeah. But anyway, when I was over there watching him change the oil, I went over there, the car had been over there about two hours, and I wondered if it was ready. So I went over, and I noticed that he had a concoction of socket set extensions and U-joints and all kinds of mechanical things to get. down to the oil filter to take it off with an oil filter wrench, and he'd already burned himself twice, and it looked very, and he'd already been working on this for an hour and a half.

Now, I know, having changed the oil before, I know that you can just take four little bolts off inside the wheel well, and a little panel drops down, and you get a straight shot at the oil filter, and you can just pop it right off. I see the problem, too. Now, he's a bona fide, he's a bona fide, working. Is he an employed mechanic? Yes, he is. But it doesn't work for Toyota.

No. Obviously not. No. My question is, shall I tell him? No. How shall I tell him? Don't tell him. Well, he's going to figure it out soon or he's going to figure it out soon.

No, no, he isn't. I don't think so. No, because he's going to go to work someday and he's going to say, man, I was changing the oil on a Toyota the other day. What a pain and the butt that is you got to do, but, blah, blah, and someone will tell him sooner or later. You didn't take the little panel off? he's going to say, huh? Well, here's another possibility. A synonymous note.

The next time you're going to have him change the oil, you take the little panel off but say nothing. Oh, I'll leave it hanging. Yeah, leave it hanging. Sure. Right. And when he goes to check out what's making all that noise, he'll say, Sonia Hannity's Tutu.

I think that's a good solution. Yeah. I like that, too. Yeah, because it would be an affront, I think. Yeah. I mean, the same thing is going to happen in the other direction one of these days. You know, you're going to be treating one of his kids or his wife or something, and it's going to be something painfully obvious to him,

and you're going to start prescribing antibiotics and who knows what surgery, because you have a boat payment due, and he's going to know that... The kid has a bean in a note. Yeah, what do you guys do when you have a boat payment do? Yeah, I mean, how do you make... We know what we do. See, it's pretty... easy to manufacture illnesses.

All you'd have to do is plant the suggestion. Is this some code of silence that you guys? No, we just hope people get sick. Yeah, that's great, isn't it? How are you feeling? Great, Doc. That's too bad. Well, I would remove the plate and hope for the best. I think that's a great idea.

See you later. Thanks for asking. It was a very sensitive issue. Thanks, Gary. Thanks, guys. Bye-bye. At least he had the decency to ask that question. Yes.

The sensitivity. That's it. The sensitivity, most guys wouldn't. You said, hey, oh, moron. Hey, jerk. 1-88-car talk. That's 8-8-2-27-8-255. Hello, you're on car talk.

Oh, this is Sue. Sue? Yeah. And whence do you call? I call from Philadelphia. What's up? I have a big problem. Sure.

I have a Jimmy, a Jimmy. A Jimmy. A 1990. 95 Jimmy. It's white. White. It has blue interior. Blue interior? 40,000 miles. Don't go giving us all these hints, so. I'm sorry, I want to make it easy for you. Blue interior? Yeah. Isn't that kind of tacky looking? No, it's okay. It's okay. Fine. It's the last one on the lot, huh? Yeah, it was. Yeah, you got a deal. Got a deal. Yeah. Anyway, it makes a funny noise.

Uh-huh. And when you first started up, when it's cold, it makes a loud noise. Is it a roaring kind of noise? Kind of a roaring noise. Do you want to hear it? Yeah, we want you to make a fool of yourself on the national public radio. Okay, okay. Hold on to something.

Here we go. Woo! I'll do it again. Woo! And then it lasts for about a block. Is it exacerbated by revving the engine? No. And as you drive down that one block while it's doing this,

is the truck sort of going faster than you want it to? No, no, no. It's not. So it's making this noise. And then after a minute, like somebody threw a switch, it just goes right off. Yes. But during the time that it's making this noise, it in no way affects the performance of the vehicle. No, not that I can tell.

My brother is asking you a lot of questions, which would indicate that he's on the trail of something. That's good. Knowing my brother, as I do, he ain't on the trail of nothing. Does it have a blue interior? Yes. Because I knew that none of those questions was going to get him anyway. Because he has no idea. Well, of course, I have an idea.

No, you don't. I do, I do. It's wrong. You know it's wrong. See, even you know it's wrong. But my first idea that I had was that you have a bad fan clutch. Oh, let me write that down.

Well, don't write that down because that's wrong. Oh. Because had that been correct, it would have been made louder by revving the engine. Oh, and it does not. It does not. It does not. So, I'm going to go to my fallback position, or is it spring ahead position? Spring ahead.

And that is that you have a bad, a worn-out belt tensioner. A belt tensioner? Did I write that down? Yeah. Okay. Oh. And you may have a worn belt as well. Oh.

In many cases, this vehicle has what's called a serpentine belt. There's one belt that drives everything. Because it snakes around all these different pieces. Back in the old day, the water pump. You had a belt that was dedicated to running the alternator, another belt that was dedicated to running the power steering and one that was dedicated to the air conditioning. So you'd have a stack of belts like four deep. This vehicle, like most modern vehicles, has one belt. and that belt snakes around all these accessories

and runs everything at the same time and if the belt gets worn it will make this kind of noise especially on startup and I hesitate to ask you if it's worse in cold weather yeah actually I think it is by the skin of his teeth

yeah I would have your mechanic look at your belt and if the belt seems to be all right I would suspect a weak tensioner. Okay. Gee, that was good. There I was. I have to apologize.

I thought from the series of questions that you were asking that you had no idea what was going on. How silly of me. Underestimated again. Again. See you, Sue. Thanks for calling. Thank you very much. Bye.

Bye. Okay. Do you remember last week's puzzler? Do I remember? I mean, well, you keep asking me, do I remember last week's? Puzzler? I'll repeat. Do you remember last week's Puzzler? No, I didn't make so. This message comes from NPR sponsor, eBay. Buying a car should feel secure. Start to finish. That's why you should buy your next ride on eBay. Now with secure purchase, sellers and titles are verified,

and financing, delivery, and insurance options are built right in. Plus, eligible vehicle purchases are backed by up to $100,000 in protection. So buy your next car on eBay. eBay, things, people love. Secure purchase is powered by Caramel Dealer Services LLC, an eBay subsidiary. So I just want to check in really quick. Are you okay? Or are you suffering from sleep deprivation, a stack of bills, or political propaganda?

If so, you may be stuck in the parent trap. On the It's Been a Minute podcast, we're diving headfirst into the anxieties of modern parenting and how that trickles out to all of us, even if you don't have children. Come find some relief. Listen to the It's Been a Minute podcast on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts. Support for NPR and the following message comes from the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. RWJF is a national philanthropy, working toward a future where health is no longer a privilege. but a right. Learn more at

our WJF.org. Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, click and clack the Tappert Brothers, and we're here to talk about cars, car repair, and the answer to last week's puzzler. Now, this is another in the very famous matchstick series. I think this one was the best. Oh, do, huh? Yeah.

Anyway, in order to participate in this puzzler, you had to have had either a bunch of matchsticks or toothpicks or pen and paper to draw the matchsticks, and here it is. You get your matchsticks, and you make the following equation with Roman numerals. XI, which is 11, 11, plus I, plus I, which is 1, which is 1, equals X. Okay, so it's XI plus 1 equals X, which is clearly wrong. It says 11 plus 1 equals, what, 10? Not everyone knew it was wrong.

Well, those who knew it was wrong. The people who took new math. This is old math. As Tom Lera says, the goal is not to get the right answer, but to understand what you're doing. Right. And the question was very simply, what's the fewest number of matches you can move

to make the equation correct? And I said that the plus sign and equal sign matches are fair game, but you can't throw away any matches. And, of course, I obfuscated, as you'll soon find out. But the basic question was, what is the least number of matches you can... Is that the question? Yes, the smallest number of matches.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. And the hint that I gave is that when I presented this to my younger son, Andrew, the other day, he got the answer after he had left the room and returned. That's brilliant! I thought that was brilliant. A brilliant hint. A brilliant hint, that's what I'm saying.

I thought that was a brilliant hint. After I knew the answer, of course. As he stood there at my side and looked at the equation, he said, gee, I don't know, Dad. He said, I can certainly move a match and make the thing correct. He said, but I told him, I said, well, you don't have to move any matches. Wow. And he walked out of the room, bewildered.

And when he came back... Was he just bewildered? I was a stupid jerk. Well, that's true. Things like that. He mumbled. But when he came back, he had the answer because if you walk around to the other side of the table and look at the equation...

You see it upside down. You see it as 10 equals 1 plus 9. Oh, man. And you have to move no matches to make the equation correct. Who's our winner this week, Tommy? Wow. What I know, I've been so spellbound here. I wouldn't even look.

Here it is. The winner is Jim Shaughnessy from Troy, New York. And for having his correct answer chosen from among the thousands of correct answers that we had this week, Jim is going to get a copy of our new book of puzzlers, are haircut in Horsetown, which is now available in all the best bookstore.

Yes, check the buck bin. Buck a book bin. You check the remainder bins or the dumpster out back if you don't see it on the shelves because that's where it'll be. Anyway, we'll have a brand new puzzler coming up in the third half of today's show.

In the meantime, we'll take your calls at 1-888-Cartalk. That's 888-227-8-25-5. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Yeah, hi, guys. This is Pete. I'm in Norwich. Vermont.

Hi, Pete. Norwich, Vermont. They were Norwich, Vermont. Is that the place that's like way, way up north? That, it's across the river, the Connecticut River from Dartmouth College. Exactly. And last week, you had a guy from Hanover, and you guys didn't know there was a medical school at Dartmouth either.

Yeah, there's a lot we don't know. Well, I thought you'd gone to MIT, and so I expected, you know. Well, that's exactly right. That's why there's so much we don't know. Every damn impressed by how little I know. So what's up? Well, I have an 84 GMC pickup truck. What series is it?

It's a, what is it, a 1500? 1,500, yeah. Yep, yep. And I always had kind of a pickup problem with it, especially going up hills. It just, you know. Oh, I thought you were talking about girls. Well, that too, if you saw the truck. And don't tell, my, my wife might hear this.

Not a good-looking truck, but it runs well. Yeah. As long as your wife doesn't look like the truck. No, no, no. That's all that matters. Yeah, because some people have a wife that looks like a truck. You're not going to do that again. No.

It's been great sleeping in the garage all week. I'll tell you. I mean, I just wanted how you did this week. All right. When you get to your problem, for God's sakes, we haven't got all day. Well, anyway, it ran great, except I always had kind of a pickup problem with it, especially going up hills. It would just sort of go slower and slower and slower, and the only thing I could do was drop it into first gear.

It's an automatic, and I put it into first. The RPMs would kick in, and it would start to, you know, go right on up the hill. Well, and two years ago, I managed to blow the engine, but it led to getting a new engine. Good. And that was great, and yet I still, and the engine runs wonderfully, and I also rebuilt the transmission at the same time, but I still have that same problem.

Is this a six-cylinder engine? Uh, no, it's an eight, a $3.50. Okay. And it's an eight. And then the last part of the story is that about a month ago, we were getting some tires put on, and I was talking to the fellows out back, and I mentioned the truck problem, and the two of them were there, and they looked at each other with this knowing look, and they went, Rochester. And I said, what do you mean?

And they said, you've got a Rochester carburetor in there. And they said, they're no damn good. So I don't know. Wow. They said, what you've got to do is put a Hawley or an Engel Brock or something like that? or another type of... Englebrook. They make a wine, I think.

Is that the... Englebrook. A single look. Engle nook, yeah. So these guys want to rip... They want to rip off that Rochester two barrel, which you have on there. That's what they were saying, and they said if you had the holly in there, that my power problems would be over. No.

Well, it may be. I mean, I'm sure your power would be improved. Your gas mileage would go down. But there are gillions of these trucks still on the road that have all the power in the world. Yeah. With that two-barrel Rochester on there, and there's no reason why yours shouldn't, too. Ah. I mean, it should shift down on its own.

Yeah, the kickdown cable may need to be adjusted. Right. And what you're doing by shifting it down manually is what the kickdown is supposed to do, and that's exactly what's supposed to happen. Okay. That makes sense. It doesn't, it is not necessarily the carburetor. Well, that's what I wanted.

That's why I wanted to talk with you guys. Well, I'm glad you did, Pete. I am, too. Just, I mean, just shift it down a gear, and it'll go. Well, but why wouldn't it do it on its own? Well, because there's something wrong with the linkage. Yeah, either the cable is adjusted wrong or there's something wrong inside the transmission or... Okay.

If you really want to get it fixed, have someone take a look at the kickdown linkage, otherwise just shift it down yourself. Yeah. And if it's giving you problems, hesitating from a dead stop, it isn't that. It could be that you just need an accelerator pump in the carburetor. Ah. So, you have them do that. Good luck, Pete.

That sounds great. Thanks a lot, guys. See you later. your show. Thanks. Good luck. Thanks for calling. Bye. Bye. 1-888-8-8-8-8-2-2-7-8-25-5. Hello, you're on car talk. My name is Carol, and I'm in Washington, D.C. Carol, with an E? Yes. With an E! Wow.

Yeah, unlike Christmas. Yeah, yeah. And I take no responsibility for most of what happens in Washington, D.C. Thank you very much. Okay, so we won't ask. Okay. No questions. I'm calling because I have a 96 Saturn. I'm going to have to trade my Saturn in because I have just accepted a position in Africa. I'm going to be living in East Africa and driving around on road set, as a friend of mine puts it, you need a jog bra to drive on. Excellent. Where in East Africa are you going?

Well, I'm going to be based in Nairobi, but doing a lot of work also in Arusha and various parts of Kenya, Tanzania, Uganda, and Rwanda. kidding. What are you going to be doing? I'm working for an international private organization that's dedicated to wildlife conservation and development, economic development. Good for you. You might bump into our producer Doug Berman.

Okay. Who ran away from home several years ago. We keep mentioning him on the air, but he's not here anymore. And he went to East Africa to study drumming. Really? And he has, I guess it's been a couple of years now. Well, you know, interestingly, he went to East Africa to study West African drumming.

Exactly. That's what I'm thinking. And that's why he's failed miserable. Oh, he wanted to get the stranger's perspective. Yeah, he got it all right. So anyway, you need... So I need some advice. Everyone, of course, everyone has advice, but nobody really knows what they're talking about.

I'm not going to be... No one aside from... Oh, okay. Oh, you may change your tune in a minute. Yeah, well, I was just going to say that... Why would you ask us? Because we wouldn't know. Well, I was hoping you might be able to venture a guest.

as to what kind of, I'm thinking, four-wheel drive vehicles, somewhere in my budget, which would mean up to maybe 17,000, 18,000 use. Good. That's a lot. Wow. Which doesn't require a lot of fixing. Well, I mean. I'm thinking basically, basically, I think I've narrowed it down to Jeep Wrangler or something

that I haven't found yet. Well, see, I don't think of taking something with you. Yeah. See, we have spoken to people in the past who have. done the same thing. We've always suggested that they try to find something there. Well, apparently if you find something there, it's pretty

badly beat up, and it's highly inflated in terms of cost because whoever took it there the first time probably paid duty on it. All right, then what is there? You want to get something that's already there? Right. In other words, if you show up with your Jeep Wrangler, and they don't know Jeep, you're done for? I think

there is, when you look at the Jeep website, for what it's worth, there is, Mr. Somebody or other's shop. Right, Nairobi, Gee. Exactly. It doesn't have email, but it has a phone number. Really? Yeah.

Oh, so there is a Jeep dealership. Of some sort. We've always recommended, I mean, the vehicle you'll always see in all these nature programs is the Toyota Land Cruiser. Yeah, of course. If you've got 40,000. Well, yeah, they're expensive. Yeah.

Although the older ones are cheaper. Before they got to be luxury cars. Right. Right. You might be able to find one for like 15. Maybe, yeah. You want a vehicle that's well known so that there are people who understand how to fix it, and there's an infrastructure of hot parts.

Junk parts. And we don't know what that is, and how could we know? Yeah. I mean, have you been there lately? Not to Nairobi lately. I understand, though. But see, that's another thing. In terms of the advice I'm getting, oh, you should get a Japanese car because everybody has a Japanese car.

And then other people say, whatever you do, don't get a Japanese car because it will get stolen right away for parts because everybody has a Japanese car. So you want a car that's not attractive to thieves? Oh, you need a Rangerover. But that's a tough trade-off. I mean, if you're going to get something that's not attractive to thieves because there aren't any of them around,

the first time it breaks, you might as well get stolen because you're not going to be able to get it fixed. Because I should fix my sandals then at that point. I would invest in the jogging bras instead. I mean, how far do you have to travel daily? I mean, why is it a car necessity? Well, apparently, it is just to travel even around Nairobi and to get out for weekends. So aside from theft and price and whatever, what holds up over really grinding kinds of, you know, major?

Oh, I mean, Toyota Land Cruises. And the Jeep Cherokee, a Jeep Wrangler would too. Would? Yeah, sure. Yeah, sure. You know, I don't think I'd want to get something like a Subaru. throughout back, because I don't think it will hold up. That was my next question.

I don't think it's rugged enough. But I don't know what the roads are like, but I'm pretty sure they're pretty lousy. Pretty bad. So you want something that has good ground clearance and something that can really take a hit. Yeah. And the vehicles we just mentioned are probably among the best. But it would be really nice to get some information from people who either are there currently or have been there recently, and so they can tell you what's around and...

Well, you need to call the American concept. Yeah. Contact them. Automotive division. Ask them what they drive. Sure. So that time I talked to someone, they said, oh, well, I just brought over my old Peugeot from France. Oh, that sounds like a great idea. Exactly. Okay. And you might want to go on the web, and I mean, these days of modern technology, they have to be people. In fact, we have a page on our website, which we call good karma, the people who want to do good deeds for others. and you might just throw yourself upon the mercy of the court and say, I'm going to Nairobi.

Anyone know anything about what kind of vehicles are popular there and parts available in the mechanics? Oh, it's someone like to lend me his land cruiser for five years. Or whatever. So you might want to just put a note on there and see if you get any mail back. Well, thank you very much. And if you ever want to come on Safari, you come look me up.

All right, Carol. Take care. Well, Safari, I haven't had that desire. So far. I'll let you know if I do. Okay. Thanks for calling, Carol. Bye.

Bye. All right, before we get to the new Puzzler, we have to pause for a moment. What? We're going to, like, pray? Yeah, pray that I come up with a Puzzler in the next 60 seconds. We'll be back at a minute. Ha, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Collect the Tappert Brothers,

and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and the new puzzler. I can hardly wait. Did I ever tell you about Krusty's wedding? I didn't even know Krusty was married Oh, Krusty's been married Like five times No

Yes, anyway On the occasion of his most recent wedding He had to take a long trip To meet his Bride to be Yeah And you know The arrangements have been made

If she dies, she dies Is that mentioned here? No No, no And it was important That he'd get there It was quite a distance away I think it was in some place

Like Unidilla New York Wow That's no way It thought it was important that he should take his most reliable car. And he didn't want to be late because she told him if you're late for the wedding and it's off. It's off. Absolutely off. And it's thought every day that a geyser like him gets to marry a teenager.

Tell me about it. That isn't a blood relative. So anyway, he fires up his most reliable car, his 65 Falcon, and he makes his way through Massachusetts onto Route 7 in New York. And he's bebopping along And all's right with the world And pooh The car backfires and dies And he coasts to the side of the road

And he realizes immediately That his points have burnt out And he says, oh, shucks If only I had another set of points And he opens the glove box And to his amazement Is a brand new set of ignition points Oh, I thought you were going to say

A salami sandwich That too And as luck would have it His entire toolkit is in the glove box. It consists of a screwdriver, a hammer, and a jackknife. So he opens the hood, takes off the distributor cap, and proceeds to remove the little screw that holds the points in. Don't tell me. He dropped it. He deftly removes the screw, installs the new points, and drops the screw. Where does it go? Where it always goes?

Inside the distributor. And he can't get it out. He can see it. He can even touch it with his screwdriver, but he can't get it out. He says, oh, my God, what am I going to do? Runs to the trunk, opens the trunk, and he finds it in there. That's kind of stuff you usually find in the trunk. Another salami sandwich. Salami sandwich. The jack.

At first, he considers jacking up the car and tipping it over onto its roof. And if you were to do that, the screw would fall out. Sure. But he dismisses that possibility because it might damage the paint. Yeah. He finds a 50-pound bag of dog food. He says, hmm, dog food. I don't even own a dog.

He finds a junky old lamp that he bought at a garage sale. This was to be the wedding present for his teenage bride to be. Oh, yeah. Okay. And a gallon of Felipeo Barrio extra virgin olive oil. The usual stuff. Using one or a combination of these things. He is able to.

extricate. He is, he manages to extricate the screw from its hiding place. Inside the distributor. Inside the distributor. Within a matter of minutes. Wow. And he does not tip the car over on its roof. All right. A jack. You're the standard bumper jack. A bag of dog food. Yeah. Iams. 50 pounds. Iams 50 pounds. Yeah. Or yours. Doesn't have a dog. Your arms. Uh, an old lamp. Yeah.

a salami sandwich and a gallon of Felipe Barrio Extra virgin olive oil And using one or more of these items Yes And the screwdriver of the knife and whatever else And his entire toolkit

Right The screw drive of the jacked knife and the hammer Ah, it's beautiful It's beautiful So if you know how he does it Send your answer to Puzzler Tower Car Talk Plaza

Box 3500 Havitt Square Cambridge Our Fair City Matt 02238 Always some precious electrons By emailing us your answer from the Car Talk section of Cars.com

If you'd like to call us, the number is still 1-888-8-8-8-8-Cartalk That's 888-227-8-255 Hello, you're on Car Talk This is Ellen calling from Boston. Can you hear me? Ellen! Yes, of course we can hear you. Hi. Boston, the actual Boston Boston.

Just across the river from Car Talk Plaza. No kidding. Yes. Well, I'm calling with a moral, ethical, legal question. I really need your help with. Oh, I think we may have to excuse ourselves. I have a 1991 Honda Civic. It's a four-door sedan, and it's red, and it seems to have a curse on it. It's been in three crashes. It's been vandalized nine times. A tree fell on it. It's been stolen and unfortunately returned. And then there was the time that I thought it was vandalized and brought it into the body shop for what I hope was a small repair. the forensics expert at my body shop told me that, in fact, a couple of kids that had

a fight on it, and he could determine that because the dents were not angled as they would have been it if it had been smacked with a crowbar. They were rounded as if a body had been shoved into it. Someone's head had been smacked. Wow. Wow. Clearly the car, you know, it's bad karma, pardon the expression. And, you know, I want to get rid of it. I'm just tired of having major car problems and having to spend $500 of my deductible on getting it fixed. And I need to know, here's the moral question. How much do I have to disclose about all these things to prospective buyers? Nothing.

Nothing? No. No, because. And you gave us, this is going to be good. You gave us the reason yourself. Because all these things that have happened to the car don't necessarily have anything to do with the car, but they really have to do with the fact that you and the car are incompatible. So is what you're saying, that it's.

possible that the curse is on me and not the car? No, the curse is on, it's just like... The union. The union of you in the car. You know, you can take two perfectly nice people and they get married and horrible things happen, only because not that each of them individually is an evil person, but that the union is wrong. Bad car ma. And so all of these things that have happened to the car may not happen ever again. Well, what if they ask? Has the car been in the crash? Well, Well, there's a way out of that. You can hire an agent to sell your car. This is why when you go to look at a house that's for sale, the owner is never there.

No. And the real estate agent answers to... Does it have any termites? Well, I don't know. They didn't say anything. Gee, I don't think so. Yeah. And, of course, they don't ask the sell or any of these questions because they don't want to know.

So you could hire a real estate agent to sell your car. They're good at non-disclosure. Based on what you're telling me, what I really need to do is divorce this car. And I don't really have a procedure for that. You put an ad in the newspaper. You put an ad in cars.com on our website. I mean, all kinds of ways. Okay.

Yeah, but I think, I mean, you have to disclose. Okay, but if I disclose, would you buy this car if I told you all these terrible things that happened to it? I mean, this happens. No, but my brother would. This happens in the city. It happens in the suburbs. It happens on vacation. Wherever I take this car, bad things happen to them.

Yeah, well, I mean, you know, and anyone that looks at it. that is going to figure it's you. Maybe you can dress in a manner. That's comforting. Maybe you can dress up in a manner that would make them think for sure. That's you. Oh, what a brilliant strategy. Okay, so what should I wear?

I'm trying to think. Well, we'll send you pictures of my sister. I mean, you're going to go to one of these wacko out-and-left-field hippie joints. Okay. Where you buy used clothing. Yeah, you're going to wear some beads. Yeah, beads. You're going to wear pachuli.

A long, long dress. Pachuli perfume. Yeah. And a great big piece. And have your hair hanging way down. And don't bathe for like four or five days. And then people will say, phewf, it's clearly not the car. It's this wacko, Ellen.

All right. Say you, Ellen. Thank you very much. Bye. Bye. Well, it's happened again. You've squandered another perfectly good hour listening to Car Talk. Our esteem producer is Doug the subway fugitive.

Not a slave to fashion Berman. Somewhere in East Africa. Indeed. Our associate producer is Ken the Diper Slayer Rogers. Our assistant producer is Catherine Kiki Ray. Our engineer is Dennis DeMennis Foley. Our senior web lackey is Doug Sheep Boy Mayor. And our technical, spiritual, and menu advisor is the bugster John Bugsy Lawler.

Our public opinion pollster is Paul Murky of Merkey Research, assisted by statistician Margin Over. Our customer care representative is Haywood Jabuzoff. Our daylight savings time manager is Conrad Adanauer. and the director of our Latin American shameless commerce operation is Chico Miniora. Our director of Japanese cooling system technology is Emperor Overhito and our chief counsel from the law firm of Dewey Chittunhao as U.

Louis Dewey, known to the meter maids as Ui Louis Dewey. Thanks so much for listening. We're clicking clack to Tabbert Brothers. Don't drive like my brother. Don't drive like my brother. We'll be back next week. Bye-bye. And now, straight from a hot, hot series in Las Vegas, is Car Talk Clauses Director of Human Resources, Mr. Vinnie Gumbats.

Well, thank you very much for that intro. Now, if you're human and you're looking for resources, I got your resource right here, okay? Just call 1-88-car junk, and you can get any car talk stuff you want. So if somebody wanted a copy of, like, today's show, which is number 26, they would just call 8-8-8-car junk, right? Right, Dave? Very good, Dick Tracy. And if you want other cars, Talk stuff like t-shirts, CDs, or books. You can get that stuff, too, at the Shameless Commerce Division by calling 888 car junk or online at the Cart Talk session of what, Cars.com. Thank you, Vinnie. That was very informative.

Yeah, thank you, Dick Tracy. Car Talk is production of Dewey Cheatham and Howe and WBUR in Boston. And even though Dr. Evil, Snickers in Devious Delight every time he hears us say it, This is NPR, national public radio. Support for NPR, and the following message comes from the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. RWJF is a national philanthropy, working toward a future where health is no longer a privilege but a right. Learn more at RWJF.org.