The Best of Car Talk - #2599: The Lincoln Lawyer

Episode Date: December 13, 2025

Bruce’s son is a lawyer in Orlando, Florida who, like most of the other lawyers in the area,  drives a Lincoln Town Car. Except this one is not really helping his image. Instead of looking stylish and high class, paint is falling off in sheets leaving Bruce wondering whether repainting it would even work. Grab a brush or a can of spray paint and check out this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us Click and Clack the Tapper Brothers and we're broadcasting from this week from the men are from GM, women are from Ford Division here at Car Talk Plaza. I, this says it all I think. And it's only 27 paragraphs, pretty good. It's actually quite brief. Roughly three years ago, my girlfriend climbed into her car, a 1986 VW golf, to leave for work. Just before she shut the door, she said, I love you.

It was the first time she'd ever said it to me. Being an emotional 90s kind of guy, I paused, glanced at the steely. gray sky to savor the moment, then redirected my gaze at her car to say with what any true romantic would say, given the same circumstances. You're leaking oil. Quote, you're so close. I should really fix these rust spots. Tears welled up in her eyes.

The moment was more than she could bear. She turned the kick in the ignition and sped off to her workplace. Not much later that day, I received the phone call from the very same girlfriend. Rather than greeting me with an enthusiastic, hello, my love, as I felt I had every right to expect, she was downright bitter. According to her, my response to her confession of love was callous and insufficient. My viewpoint was somewhat different. In fact, I argued by promising to fix the response on her car, I had gone beyond telling her that I love her. You transcended love.

I was actually extending the intention to demonstrate it in a most tangible way. Yeah. She didn't buy it. No, I didn't think so. Three years later, she still tells the same story to everyone willing to listen. The message finally got through to Nellie, my girlfriend, that the promise of rust repair equals love. On September 11th, 1999, we missed it. We are to be married.

She still drives the 86 golf. And by God, I really should fix it for the sports. See, people say that men aren't warm. Yeah. But, no, I think he's right. I mean, he did go beyond. It went beyond. He could have merely said, I love you, too.

But it's understood. It's uncreative. Exactly. I really should fix those rust spots. It's like giving your wife a shop vac for her birthday, as we have done. It says it all. Yeah. Did you give her the wet, dry one?

She doesn't speak to me. I gave her the wet dry Yeah, me too I was I was worried about being strangled by that hose It looked rather substantial to me Yeah

It doesn't hurt too much though She waxed me with it Everyone's like If you'd like to talk us about your car Or your shop vac or your love Our number is 1-888-8-8-8-8-2-7-8-25 Hello, you're on car talk How you doing?

I'm great Who's this? This is John. I'm in Sogerties, New York. Sogertes? Upstate. Yeah, that's good enough. All right, fine.

Okay. Fine. We don't care. I'm doing the phonetic spelling. S-O-G-G-E-S-E-S-E-Z. That's close. Z. I like to see.

The Z is a nice touch. It gives it that teutonic feel, you know? Yeah, so what's up, John? I got an 86 Lincoln Town car. Really? My land yacht. Uh-huh. Cool. Since I've gotten it, there used to be a very small gas smell, unburned. Definitely raw gas.

Uh-huh. I've replaced the tank. I've replaced the lines. I've replaced the ventilation, little gizmachi up there that holds the fumes. The gizmachi, oh, yeah. The left gizmachi or the right gizmach? The town car has two. No, no, it's only got one. The charcoal canist of gizmachi. That's the one.

Yeah, yeah. And if I open the front windows, the car smells like gas. Hmm. And I've even parked it out in the driveway under white sheets and let it run to see if I can find a drip. Yeah. I cannot find any gas. No, you won't find the drip because the gasoline evaporates so quickly. Right.

And it doesn't take much of a leak to give you a lot of smell. Okay. So... But have you replaced all this stuff just on a whim, or have you had some professional advice about it. I've been to about half a dozen different mechanics. I've had at least half a dozen have it up on the lift and look. And, you know, the one guy says, oh, yeah, your tank is bad.

It's okay, well, replace the tank. It probably was. And it still stinks. He says, oh, yeah, there's some, you know, another guy says there's pitted fuel lines. Yeah. Okay, replace the pitted fuel line. Very, very good. Still stinks.

Yeah. Interesting. Well, this car is fuel injected. Yes. And my guess is the leak is under the hood someplace. Really? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Did anyone put the sniffer on it? I don't know. The sniffer is the exhaust gas analyzer. Okay. And exhaust gas analyzers pick up unburned hydrocarbons. Okay. And there's no better example in the universe of unburned hydrocarbons. Then gas is gasoline on your foot.

What we do when we have these problems is we run the car and we go around with the sniffer. Okay. And what it is, it's just a probe that's at the end of the hose for the emissions tester. and we begin to look for places where the reading goes cuckoo. Okay. And it's very possible that you have... Which mostly happens when you're going near a peep. Right.

And we'll often find with that, something you could never find with just your nose. Okay. So I would suggest that you go to somebody who has an emissions tester and ask him to use it to detect the leak. And I wouldn't be surprised if one of the fuel lines that goes into the throttle body is... leaking. Really? Yeah, really. Yeah, but that way he'll be, you'll be able to figure out exactly

where it is instead of replacing stuff at the opposite end of the car. Right. I mean, I just assumed it was coming from the rear end, from how, because you could smell it in the trunk, too. Well, they can sniff under the car, too. We put cars on the lift, and our, you know, we go around the sniffers, got a big long hose on it, and it takes a while for it to register. You can't just sniff it for four seconds and move to the next spot, because when you move to the next spot, you might be picking up the reading from the previous spot. Exactly. And the sniffle will tell you exactly where it is and you won't have to spend any more money. So I don't have to throw the car out. No, are you kidding? Good luck, John. All right, thank you. See you later. Okay. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. My solution, I other solution would have been to buy 20 or 30 of those. No, those pine tree air freshenies. 1-888-88-48-8-8-2-278-25. A lawyer on car talk. Hey, guys, this is Eric calling from London. Hi, from London. London, Europe. London, Europe, my foot. London, England. Are you really? Yeah. Okay. No kidding. There is. I believe it. What are you doing in London? I married a Brit a few years back. Oh, you did? Yeah. And how do you hear us? Over the internet? Over the internet. No kidding. Because we're on some satellite network in Europe. Yeah, I think you're on the Astra satellite. Astra. Right. And you're not one of the two people that has the receiver, huh?

No, because you all have to pay for the television service as well. Oh, yeah. Hardly worth it. So I just cheat and do it from work. Oh, yeah. So do you drive a British car? German. German?

I've got my sister-in-law's 85 Volkswagen Golf. Cool. And the problem that I'm having is the turn signal lens is filling up with water. Yeah, because it's cracked. No? It's not. Oh, yeah. Well, I can't see a crack.

I've tested it. I've taken it off because the first time was when the indicator started, you know, doing double speeds. I realized that one of the bulbs was out. Good. So I went around, checked the front one. Sure enough, it was the lens was full of water. So I took it off and bubble tested it underneath a sink full of water. Ah, good.

And it didn't seem to have any leaks at all. So I thought, well, whatever, put it back together. and within a week, that thing is full of water again. Now, this lens is held on by two screws. Is that true? Yeah, it's just open the hood, and from the back, you take the wire harness with the bulb out. Right. Oh, okay, and that's how you change the bulb.

Yeah. There are two approaches you can take. Well, three maybe. Okay. One is you could buy a new fixture. Right. Which might be like 20 bucks or so. I don't know what it.

They're about 25 pounds, which is about... Oh, they're not that heavy. They're about 25 pounds Yeah, forget about buying it I can't even lift it That's $39 Well my question is If it is cracked

Then how come the water's not escaping Well, isn't that a good question Because the crack can act like a check valve Don't forget The way the, if there are hairline cracks in the front And we see this all the time on lenses and headlights There's not an obvious crack But when you're driving at 70 miles an hour

And it's raining Which it often does in England and you are forcing that water in at high speed. Okay. And when you stop the car, you would have to drive in reverse at 70 miles an hour. To suck it out. Right. Right.

Just to suck it out of there. And you just, it won't happen. And one of the, if you wanted a clue, if you want to turn this into a research project, I've got all kinds of great ideas for you. Oh, excellent. One is this. You have to take off the lens again, as you did before. Okay.

And where do you work? I work at a radio station, as a matter of fact. Not good enough. Try to get a job in a high-tech company where they have electron microscopes. Wind tunnels. And wind tunnels. And take it into work someday and look at it under a microscope. Wouldn't that be interesting?

Yeah. And you will find a hairline cracks, which aren't visible to the eye. Yes, you could epoxy those up. Yeah. But the more elegant solution is to drill a small. hole on the bottom of the fixture. I like to say. So that when the water comes in, it can leak out.

You need a hole that's big enough so that water tension won't keep the water from leaking out. Yeah, and that's really the most elegant way to deal with it. I mean, isn't that good? And it's so simple. Is that not going to crack the plastic lens? You're going to drill it with a drill. I mean, you're not going to smash it with a hammer. You're going to drill it with an electric drill or, you know, a hand drill.

Yeah. And you're going to drill it. I like that better than spending the next four years getting a degree so I could look under an electron microscope. Exactly. You're going to drill it in a rearwood-facing direction so that when the water comes in, and it's going to be obviously at the low point

or close to the low point of the fixture, the water can go out, but it won't be a receptor for water when you're dry. In other words, you don't want to drill the hole in the front of the lens. Right. You got it? Yeah, I got you.

Okay. If you do, drill two holes, one at the top and one at the bottom. And put a little arrow so the water will know that one way is in, and you're right in, and on the bottom one you write out. If you do it the other way, it'll never work.

It's just going to keep filling up with water. That's right. There'll be nothing left but holes. Hey, Eric, thanks a million for calling. You may be our first and only international caller. Hey, I'm over here. I'm listening. Hey, great. Thanks.

Love the show. Thanks for calling, man. Take care, guys. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. There's a lot more stuff coming up right after the following messages. So stick around. This message comes from Wise, the app for using money around the globe. When you manage your money with Wise, you'll always get the mid-market exchange rate with no hidden fees.

Join millions of customers and visit Wise.com. T's and C's Apply. Ella McKay, coming to theaters December 12th. Your father's here. Why? A heartwarming new comedy from James L. Brooks. I'm a different person. I have never in my life.

felt this way about any other woman. Jesus! I wasn't counting your mother! It's a perfect holiday comedy about an imperfect family. You can use a scream, Ella. Starring Emma Mackey, Jamie Lee Curtis, Camel Nanjani, Iowa Debrie, with Albert Brooks and Woody Harrelson.

You should do that every afternoon. Ella McKay. Hey, for you, t-shirt wearers out there, all relatives of t-shirt wares. We just got a veritable shipload, that shipload with a P, of new car. talk t-shirts at the Shameless Commerce Division. The folks there made a great series of t-shirts out of their favorite car talk quotes.

So in addition to the classics, you know, don't drive like my brother, Dewey Cheathman, how you can now get car talk t-shirts that, say, for instance, if money can fix it, it's not a problem. Life is too short to drive boring cars. Do it while you're young. You may never have a chance to do anything this stupid again. Reality often astonishes theory or happiness equals reality minus expectation. How about this one? Lousy car advice since 1977 and many, many more.

If you'd like one or want one to ship to a friend or relative, you don't really like. Just head over to shameless commerce.com. That's shameless commerce.com. Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us. Click and Clack the Tappert Brothers. And we're here to talk about cars, car repair, and the last spring's final puzzler. final puzzler. Now, we presented a puzzler that we said people could work on all summer long. So, have you been working on it? I didn't think so. You've been waiting for our listeners to work

on us. You could steal their answers, haven't you? Yeah, me too. All right, what was the puzzler anyway? I can't remember. It was so long ago. Here it is, and we're going to give people a little more time to work on it, perhaps. There are at least two words in the English language that we know of that are their own antonyms. And the two that we know of are cleave and sanction. You can cleave to something or you can cleave away from something, right? You cleave the meat, you separate it. And as we mentioned, then there is cleavage.

Yes, of course. We're not sure which definition that is. But we like it anyway. We've been studying it for quite some time. Similarly, you can sanction something, endorse it, or impose sanctions on something, which is, you know, prohibiting it or whatever, you know, or not endorsing it, the opposite of endorsing, criticizing, not criticizing, like, sanctioning. Sanctioning it, you can sanction it, right. So our question was very simply, are there other words that are their own antonyms? Yeah.

I have cite, C-I-T-E, or citation. Oh. Yeah, for doing good, such as military gallantry versus for doing bad, such as a stratac citation from a cop. I go with that one. Here's another one that I like. Consult to give advice and to seek advice. Oh, I'm going to consult my attorney. I consulted my attorney.

He told me I should go consult somebody else. I like this one. Clip to attach. He clipped it on. Ah, and you clip it off. Oh, he got his head, got his ears clipped. Here's another one I like. Dust.

Oh, love it. Dust is very, very good. I'm going to dust. The verb, the verb dust. Yes. To dust and to dust. Right. I'm going to dust for fingerprints, which is I'm not sure.

I'm going to put dust on. I apply dust. And the other one is I'm going to dust the furniture. I'm going to, what? Remove dust. At dust, remove dust. I like it. I like it.

It's weak. No, but it's good. And messy. Yeah. Here's another one I like. fast, moving rapidly versus unable to move. I was held fast all to my bed. I like it.

Yeah. Well, see, here's my trouble with some of it. Don't stop with the troubles. Just keep reading. See, if the word means exactly the opposite of itself, it must, by definition, be the same part of speech. Well, I just, I... It cannot be an adverb in one case and a verb or an adjective in another.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, dust is good. Dust works. How about oversight? How about oversight? I like oversight. Well, oversight, one meaning is watchful and responsible care. And the other one is part of the oversight committee. Right. And it was an omission. It was an oversight. Yeah. Right. And they're both nouns. In the first case, it was an adjective. The second case, it was a verb. Well, they're close. Here's another good one. Oh, this is good. Sanction. We should read the mail. Right. All right. Now what?

Reservation. I like reservation. I like reservation. Yeah, okay. Look, look. We may have to name several winners for this puzzle. I don't know who they are yet because I'm going to have to spend more time perusing some of these, and you're going to have to read everything. And so I will have to announce the winners next week. And next week, and I'm giving my brother fair warning here, the new puzzler season will begin. Are you with me on this? Huh? Do you have any clue? Did you want to give us about what the first puzzler of the fall 99 season is going to be? It's

Preparation is everything, isn't it? It's going to be You know, it's going to be something puzzling And I'm as puzzled by this Oh, God It happens so fast And the puzzle goes on vacation Next thing you know, boom!

I mean, we don't get the same vacation The people should know We don't get the same vacation That the puzzler gets. Yeah. The puzzler gets two, three, four months We get a couple of days. Yeah.

We don't have the time. We don't have the time. No. But I will tell you, I'm planning to start off with some real crummy ones and work my way up. Work your way down. That's what usually happens. Anyway, if you'd like to call us, number is 1-888-car Talk. It's 8-8-2-27-8-25-5.

Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, guys. This is Carol from Edwardsville, Illinois. Is there an E at the end of it? My name? Yeah. No. I didn't put one.

Well, Edwardsville has an E. It certainly does. Illinois. Yeah. Which part of Illinois is that? It's sort of a metropolitan area of St. Louis. St. Louis. I'm from New Jersey, so it's St. Louis to you guys in Illinois.

No, we say St. Louis. I didn't know it was in Illinois, though. But that's okay. Oh, it's right across the river. Oh, I know that. Yeah, East St. Louis. No, no. Well, yeah.

I'm north of East St. Louis. North of East St. Louis and south of West St. Louis. Yeah, excellent. All right. Well, first of all, I want to tell you guys that I am so devoted to you that I broke up with a guy once over you. Really? I did. I was going on a day trip, and I said, well, as long as we're leaving in the morning, you have to know,

I have to listen to click and clack at 9 o'clock on Saturday morning in the car, and he said, not in my car. Those guys are rude and obnoxious. And I said, hold it, hold it. If you think they're rude and obnoxious, then you don't understand me at all, because I'm, I'd love their sense of humor. This is what I get. You know, you don't get me then. And that's it. So I, that ended pretty quickly. Yeah. And have you had any luck finding another guy? No, actually. No, it's pretty tough, isn't it? It is. Yeah, you set those high standards. Not everybody gets to you guys.

Yeah, you're going to lower the bar a little carol. Well, I have a spiritual dilemma, and you should know that I'm a minister, so I'm calling you for a spiritual dilemma. Oh, we are ministers also. I know. Yes, you know that. And that's why I appreciate you so much. Okay. I have a wonderful car, an 89 Toyota Corolla wagon that I absolutely love. Great. It's been a wonderful car. 184,000 miles on it.

Yeah. My 25-year-old son is a graduate student, and he's a musician, and he needs a reliable car, which he doesn't have. The plan was when I graduated and became a minister, I was going to get a church and get a new car. And that sort of has happened, except the church position I have is only half time. Oh, you only get half a car. Yeah, I only get half a car. So I decided not to look for a car. The plan was I was going to give him this one if I found a car,

but I decided not to, you know, actually go out and look for one. But I found one sitting in a car lot one day as I was driving past that just was calling to me. You know, Carol, look over here. It does happen. It's a 96 Volkswagen Jetta, GLX, loaded. Uh-huh. Gorgeous. It's the green.

It's the color and everything that I want. Oh, that dark green? Yeah. Isn't that a nice green? It's a gorgeous color. Yeah. 30,000 miles. I took it to a mechanic.

He said, I would buy this car. All it needs is a wheel alignment. The guy before me apparently didn't rotate the tires. Yeah. The place I'm talking to said, hey, we'll throw in the wheel. New tires and a wheel alignment, you know, for the cost. What are they asking for it? They're asking 15-7.

My guess was 14. Yeah, and 14 was my limit. And so my question is, help me out here. I'm going to cry when I give up my Toyota. But I'd rather have my son have it. my son have it and know that he has a car that's a sure thing. And I want something a little jazzier. The Toyota was very practical and got us through a lot of things.

And I'd like something a little, you know, something for people to talk about. Hey, look at a very. You do have, I understand the nature of your spiritual dilemma. I wouldn't have called it spiritual. I mean, on the one hand, you're a minister. Right. And you should, I guess, therefore, have shown the characteristics of ministering, ministership, ministerness, whatever.

that is and jazzy ain't part of the description however i'm a unitarian minister ah then you're all set makes a big difference right yeah there are no rules there that's right just go right how about a how about a Ferrari three i mean you don't you don't think i'm crazy to give away my Volkswagen my my toyota to my son well not at 184K okay no how much how much does he need a car oh badly i mean but does he is he going to do a lot of driving well he has to drive from, he's at Indiana University. He has to drive from Bloomington to Indianapolis once a week for a position he has. Here's what I think this grew up. And you're not going to like this, Carol. You're not

going to like this at all. What? Carol? What? How come it hasn't occurred to you that you should give the Jetta to your son? Oh, he wants to know that question too. Of course. And? Are you crazy? No, no, no. You are a Unitarian. It doesn't work that way. Ah, that's great. That's right. Yeah, you're absolutely right.

He doesn't deserve any brand-new Jetta. No. Of course not. You're totally cool with giving this my wonderful Toyota to my son, huh? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, I think you deserve the Jetta, and I think you're absolutely right to say, if you'll pardon the expression, to hell with your son.

I mean, come on. Let him work for his own car. Well, thanks. Good for you. I appreciate your advice. Good. luck. Thank you. See it, Carol. Take care. Bye-bye. Bye. All right, look, we're going to take a short break, and when we come back, we'll open ourselves up to ridicule, derision, and litigation.

Hey, for you, T-shirtwearers out there, all relatives of T-shirtwearers. We just got a veritable shipload, that's shipload with a P of new Car Talk T-shirts at the Shemless Commerce Division. The folks there made a great series of T-shirts out of their favorite car talk quotes. So in addition to the classics, you know, don't drive like my brother, Dewey Cheathman, how. You can now get car talk t-shirts. Let's say, for instance, if money can fix it, it's not a problem. Life is too short to drive boring cars. Do it while you're young. You may never have a chance to do anything this stupid again. Reality often astonishes theory or happiness equals reality minus expectation. How about this one? Lousy

car advice since 1977 and many, many more. If you'd like, one or want one to ship to a friend or relative you don't really like just head over to shameless commerce.com that's shameless commerce.com. That's shameless commerce.com. Ha! We're back. You're listening to car talk with us, click and clack the Tappert brothers and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and the not the new puzzler. No, my brother begged me for one more week. He said, please, I'm begging you. I'll do anything. And I said, okay, buy me a 1940 Buoyer Conver

And we'll wait till next week for the puzzler. And since you're not doing a new puzzler, I guess that we have a deal. Is that it? Sure. You take Tonka, don't you? Well, if you have a puzzler you think I can use next week, please rush it to me. Send it overnight delivery to Car Talk Plaza, Box 3,500, Harvard Square, Cambridge. Our Fair City.

Matt, 02238. And right on the envelope, of course, puzzler, submission. Urgent. Emergency. Urgent. Puzzler. Submission. Urgent.

Or email me your puzzle or suggestion from the cart talk section of cars.com. That's it. I mean, that's the only message I have. If you like to call us, the number is 1-888-8-8-8-2-8-2-5. Hello, you're on car talk. Hi. Hi. Elaine.

That's close enough, but... Elaine from... Clifton, New Jersey. Clifton, New Jersey. Elaine. Got it. What kind of a car do you have, Lady Elaine? I have a 97 Buickla Sabre.

Practically brand new. Well, I've had this problem from day one. Day one. And I've had it to a few dealers. Yeah. And they seem to think it's the design of the car, although my friends don't even want to come in my car because it's so hot. They can't stand it. Really?

Yeah. And you've got the, they all do that answer from the dealers? Yeah. Yeah. But he does that with everything. So what's the deal? What do you mean? mean the car is so hot? Well, there seems to be some kind of heat emanating from the dashboard,

and I felt a little on the side door. There's a vent on the, actually on the door, and there's a vent on the upper left, and this is with no fan on nothing, and one of those hot days we had, it was like 90 out. Well, my car was 110 inside, because they told me, get a little thermometer because I took it back two, three times, and they didn't believe me. And they said, get a little thermometer. And when I told them that, they didn't believe me again. So I'm at my wits end, and my warranties running out, because I almost have $36,000. Yeah, no, your warranty's not running out because you've already been to him many times.

So your warranty is good forever until they fix it now. Oh, well, they don't think there's a problem. But does this car have air conditioning? Yes. When you have the air conditioning on, you don't have this problem. The air works, and even though the air is very cold, that heat is still coming in and it can't... So it's mixing with the cold air and the air coming out of a couple of vents is not as cold as air coming out of the other vents? Yeah, and I'm a cold kind of person, so it takes a lot for me to heat.

For a while, I said I had a fever. I went to the nurse. You went to the doctor instead of the dealer. Oh, yeah. Well, he keeps telling it's me in my sense. I don't think there's anything wrong with the air conditioner, and I think what's happening is that the heat's on all the time, because there's either something wrong with the heater control thing on the dashboard,

or there's something wrong with the doors. When you turn the heat off and you turn the air conditioner on, there are various doors in the heating unit that close and shut off that hot air so that it can't get beyond the heater core into the passenger compartment. And that's what's wrong with your car. The door is not closing, and the heat is sneaking by and getting onto the driver's side of the car. It's just like leaving the oven door open and running the air conditioner in your kitchen. Every time you walked by the oven, you'd say, geez, it's hot in here.

Right. And you'd be decreasing the efficiency of the air conditioner because you'd have heat pouring out of the oven. You have the same thing going on with your car. Yeah. Yeah, because they told me it was, they said, well, this is so hot because the car runs at 400 degrees. I don't have to feel it in the car. No, you don't. Tell them, they're morons.

You're going to go back and tell them. I know what's wrong with the car. All I need is for you guys to fix it. The door for the heater is not closing tight enough, and the heat is sneaking by. And just fix it, that's all. They don't want to do this because it's a rotten jaw. It means crawling around on your belly like a reptile.

Yeah, well, they should be used to that. So if they won't do it, take it somewhere. else, because that's what's wrong with it. Well, see, that's what I was wondering. Are they just dopey, or is it so much trouble? Or they, you know, they need to be geared into the right direction of what it is. They have no clue. Well, they don't believe you.

They need to be helped, and you're going to help them. Yeah. They don't believe you because they think you're nuts, and you have to prove that you're not nuts, or at least not in this one thing. You might be nuts in other things, Elaine. And I have a suspicion that you probably are. Oh, thank you.

I'll take that as a copy. It is a compliment, but you can at least show them that regarding this particular issue, you're not nuts, and then they'll fix it. Well, you know, you're going to think, Diane, when I say this, that I've heard this, and you're going to think this is weird, but I actually heard that people have had something in there, maybe metallic or whatever it is, something that, when they go near or any type of, not necessarily automotive, but any type of appliance, but any type of appliance. something? It doesn't work, and I seriously think that's me. I don't think I'd share that with me. Don't mention that. Don't mention that. I don't think, yeah. No, you won't mention it. No. Yeah. Good luck. Thank you very much. See you later. Thanks for call. Bye-bye. 1-888-8-2-7-8-2-double-5. Hello? Hello? Hi, I'm here. Oh, who's this? I'm sorry, I thought you. This is

Bruce from Orlando, Florida. You fell asleep, huh, Bruce? Dozed off a little there. What's up, Bruce? Okay. Our son is a lawyer, and he lives with us, and several years ago, he bought a lovely 90 Lincoln Town car. Wow.

And it was doing fine for, well, still a great car, but after a couple of months, the paint starts sheeting off. He's convinced if he goes through a car wash, you can take it all off. There you go. I convinced that there's nothing he can do except take the paint down right to the bare metal which is not economically feasible

with the 90 town car Yeah, yeah But this is especially a problem for a lawyer I mean the guy is trying to impress people That's why he bought a town car And it hardly makes much of an impression Unless he's trying to create the impression That he's a starving lawyer

In which case nobody would hire him because who wants a lawyer who doesn't have any clients. That's right. He's doing fine. Yeah, he's doing fine. Too good to give up on, but not good enough to get the paint job. I think he ought to just get spray paint and do it. But when he does that, then it flakes off around.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, he has to go for contact paper. What? And they have some really interesting designs. Oh, absolutely. Anything you could put, zebra. You can go for the animal look.

It can go stripes in two directions. They've got right to the center of these issues. Well, I mean, if he really likes the car, Bruce, the truth is that he could take it down to his local Maco or Earl Shibar by one of those... He wants to do that, but I'm convinced it'll just flake off on that. No, no, no, because they won't just do a Mickey Mouse job, I don't think. Even though you're living in Orlando. They will do that.

I mean, they will strip it all down. They'll prime it and they'll put a coat of paint on it. It's maybe more than a coat. That costs money. Well, no, it's not that much. I mean, they have... It's going to cost, I would imagine, somewhere around $1,500. Why?

Because the... Well, that's all the cars worth. Because the stripping process is labor-intensive. Right. It's very labor-intensive. You've got to wait until they have specials. They always have specials. Well, they never have specials on stripping the cars.

They always have the paint. specials. I mean, alternatively, I mean, for a couple of hundred bucks, you could just take a shot at having to paint it. I mean, what they'll do is they'll sort of get the flakes of paint off, and they'll paint right over it for 300 bucks. On special. No, not real. I don't, no. But maybe long enough to sell it. That's what the last guy did. Yeah, I suspect so. Well, you've got to continue the legacy. If this doesn't work, he'll be in contact with Dewey Cheateman and how you know. Here's what he does. I mean, he's He gets a couple of clients for whom he has one cases and kept out of jail.

Uh-huh. And says, hey, come down Saturday. I'm going to Sears Roebuck, and I'm going to buy a sander. Okay. And you guys are going to come and you're going to sand down my car. Okay. Otherwise, I'm sending you back to jail. I'm going to go back and tell him I lied and you really shouldn't be on the streets.

So are you willing to do this, Bruce? Well, he's a bankruptcy lawyer. I don't. Oh, all the better. All these people are out of work. get nothing to do. Well, that's true. And you'll just get them, because if that's the labor-intensive part, then you take it

down to MAKO, and for $3.99, that's regular price, $3.99, I think. Right, right. They'll paint the whole car. They'll put the supreme paint job on it. For $25, as my brother says, they'll roll up the windows. But you do feel if we don't take it right down the metal, it's just going to flake it. Oh, I believe so. You're going to strip it right down to bare metal.

And it is something you could do yourselves. I mean, it is labor-intensive. But don't forget, every project is an opportunity to buy a new tool. Oh, yes, as I well known. And so he should certainly go down to Sears to the tool department and buy himself a sander. Oh, not just a sander. You need to buy the entire line of sanders. Yeah, it's a big car.

It's a big car. You're going to burn out all those motors. Right. And you want four or five guys working at the same time. Okay. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Yeah, it'll be fun.

Two on the front, two in the back, and one on the roof. That's wonderful. I can see it now. See you, Bruce. Thanks a lot. Good luck. Well, it's happened again. You've vaporized.

You're another hour listening to Car Talk. Our esteemed producer is Doug the subway fugitive, not a slave to fashion. He needs a new name. We've got to work on that. He needs a new wardrobe is what he needs. We knew that, too. And a haircut. Get a haircut.

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