The Best of Car Talk - #2611: Hey, Mr. Spaceman

Episode Date: February 7, 2026

Back in the day, local baseball hero for the Red Sox, Bill ‘Spaceman’ Lee took some of his bonus money and bought himself an old BMW that he still has and it’s giving him trouble. Can Click and Clack help Bill get the Bimmer started in exchange for tips on how to throw a better curveball? Find out on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us Click and Clack to Tapper Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the Avian Preston Digitation Center here at Car Talk Plaza. I wish I could remember who sent this to us because I don't have the piece of paper in front of me, but I'll just, I'll tell you the story. Here's the story. This magician gets a job on a cruise ship. Uh-huh. And he soon realizes that he doesn't have to come up with a new.

set of tricks every week. Because what? Different audience every week. People get off the boat. 3,000 more people get on. Except the captain has a parrot. And the parrot sits there through all of his shows. And the parrot pretty soon learns all the tricks.

And being a parrot, a troublemaker, the parrot starts yelling out stuff. So in the middle of a trick, the parrot says, it's under the table. Or he says, it's in his other hand. So pretty soon, the poor guy is devastated. He's ruined. And he's got to come up with all new tricks.

And on the way back to port, the ship hits something. Not an iceberg, but it's a cruise ship, unless you go to Alaska, which would be stupid. The ship hits something and goes down. It's a garbage scow. Garbage scow. So the ship goes down. And wouldn't you know it? A parrot and the magician find themselves clinging to the last little bit of debris.

And there, the magician is on one side holding on, and the parrot's on the other side. Hours go by, and they're just staring at each other, staring at each other. Finally, the parrot says, okay, I give up. Where's the ship? I liked it. I did, too. If you have a joke for us or you want to talk about your car, the number is 8. That's a good way to... We should start the show with a joke every week. Some say that the show is a joke.

The show is a joke. The number is 1-888-Cart Talk. That's 888-227-8-255. Hello, you're on car talk. Hi, this is Joan from Lamont. Joan from Lamont. Yeah. Let us figure out where Lamont is.

Lamont must be in Vermont. No. I have to guess Pennsylvania. It's in Illinois. I knew that. I was just testing new, Joan. Lamont, Illinois. Yes.

I won't ask where in Illinois, because it doesn't matter to me, frankly. I don't know anything about Illinois, nor do I care to learn any more than I know already. Oh, it's a nice state. Well, maybe it is. I don't care. Chicago is pretty neat, but that's about all we know. That's in Illinois? Well, we're near Chicago.

Oh, you are? Well, that makes you all right then. Oh, thanks. So what's up, Joe? Okay. I drive the neatest little car. It's a 1990 Ford Festiva, has 80,000 miles on it, and it does this really weird thing.

When I'm accelerating from a stop sign or a stoplight, or when I'm turning the wheel, it makes this really loud screechy noise, and everybody looks at me. It happens when you're accelerating and when you're turning the steering wheel. Yes. Oh, that's because the hamsters are applying extra... torque to the flywheel.

I mean, we know what this is, but I have to say that the festiva I mean, you love this car. Joan obviously loves it. She loves it, and I'm not going to say anything bad about it. Yes, you are. No, I'm not. My kids do. They make fun of it all the time. Our

friend Phil Bertone has lived his entire life driving festivas of one kind or another. He probably has had ten of them. Usually all at one time. It's on the one-a-month program. And it's amazing. I mean, he now has a band, and the entire band, and all their instruments travel in the festiva.

Drums, stand-up bass. Unbelievable little car. Well, you know, my son is a percussion player, and we have fit the drum set. There you go. Yeah, I know. We have. Well, it's an efficient use of space. It certainly is.

And it's fun. But it's a little embarrassing to drive it. Now, my husband, he thinks he's a mechanic, but he isn't. He says, I need new belts. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. We would say, too. Oh, really?

Oh, he's right. Oh, he's right. Yeah, he's right. You don't have belts, plural, on this car. I don't think. Oh, there's only one? I think it's suspenders that the festival for Stephen comes with. You don't have air.

Do you have air conditioning? Oh, my gosh, no. Are you kidding? You have power steering. I don't think so. Yeah, you probably have power assist. Yeah, you must. Oh, I might.

I don't have airbags. I know that. Airbags, no. You have a couple of shopping bags. Fill up with bill up with fill up cases. Yeah, no, it sounds very much like a loose belt or a glazed belt. Oh, so nothing really serious. Like a glazed donut.

Yeah, no, I don't think it's anything too serious. I think your husband's right. Now, why did you doubt him, Joan? I'm not going to tell him he's right. No, I will. What are you going to tell him? Well, see, before I knew him when he was 18, he had this really cool TR4. Oh, yeah.

And he dropped a bolt into the transmission when he was working on it and blew a hole in the housing. So the only thing I'll let him do on the fest Is change my headlights when I need new lights So this guy has to live With the legacy of this stupid little bolt I mean how many years ago was that? 20? Yes, it was before we even knew it for you

And so he has to live with the sin He's got a big A on his chest because of this? Yeah I mean, would you let him... I won't say what the A's stand. But yeah, I don't want him, you know, dropping a bolt in my transmission. No, I mean, give the guy a break. He may have learned a lot in the last 20 years.

Well, I'm sure he has. I'm sure he has. What does he do for a living? Is he like a rocket scientist or something? No, no. He's the director of music at a high school. He doesn't know anything about mechanics. Keep him away from your car.

Change the belt, Joan. That's all it's going to need. Oh, gosh. Thanks, thanks, guys. That's terrific. See you later. Bye-bye. Thanks for calling.

Motor mounts are probably. bro. The engine's going to fall out in the street tomorrow. I saw Bertone just a few weeks ago. He's got another festiva. He does, huh? I jokingly said, so what year festiva are you driving now?

He said, 92. Well, I figure he's doing a thing like the Hunt Brothers tried to do with silver. Yeah, that's it. Corner of the market, and pretty soon he's going to drive the price up. You won't be able to get one for... Three or four hundred bucks.

Which is probably triple what do he think. for it. One 888 Car Talk. That's 888-227-8-8-255. Hello here on Car Talk. Hi there. My name is Helen, and I live with my car in Greenwich, Connecticut. You live in the same building with your car?

I do, too. Yes, sure. You bet you. Well, see, I live in the garage. Oh, I see. Well, the garage is attached. Oh, I live right in the garage right next to the car. Yeah, well, Tommy's house and garage used to be attached,

but his wife had the contractors take care of that. They moved. They moved the garage. They put up this big cement wall with no doors, gates or anything. They had to truck in the pieces. They had to ship them from Berlin. Something about that they didn't need it anymore. Yeah.

But I do visit occasionally. You know, she invites me to dinner once in a while. That's nice. Not often. When the dogs don't finish. Where are you from, Helen? Greenwich, Connecticut. Greenwich, yeah.

Got it. This beauty car. is a 1970 Buick Skylark. Oh, really? And it's gray and has some chrome on it, and 30,000 miles only. Wow. No kidding. Isn't that some...

Was this a car that you bought new? Mama did. And in the glove compartment is the owner's manual, you know, all that good stuff. But it has a slow leak of coolant. And the radiator also rests on a couple of things like made of rubber, a little blocks down there. Yeah. And one of those is eroded. and so the radiator tilts slightly.

Ah, that's probably why it's leaking. The mechanic wants to give me a new radiator. Yeah, but the new radiator is going to spring the leak also if these rubber blocks aren't replaced. I mentioned that. I showed him that and mentioned it to him, and he said, well, we can do something about that. I don't know what he's going to do.

Sure. They're not very big. No, no, no. He can make something. But it looks to me like they have to take the whole front end of the car apart to get a new radiator in. No. And everything's running gorgeously, and should I do it?

No, no, they're not going to take all the car apart. The radiator is pretty straightforward. Removing the radio from this car requires basically removing two transmission cooler lines, which is very easy to do. Two hoses. And two radiator hoses and two bolts. Oh. Yeah.

I think that's a go-ahead signal for me. Oh, absolutely. I mean, this is a job that we'll take him. I mean, considering that he's going to have a cup of coffee in one hand and the wrench in the other. He quoted me something already. He quoted me $330.30. We found it okay to me. Including the labor and the antifreeze and all that.

And making the new blocks. Yeah. Go for it, Alan. Oh, hey. Go wait another minute. I mean, this job is so simple that we used to allow my brother to do this. That's right. The shop.

I mean, this is the one job. Whenever we got 70 skylarks and the irradiators, we put Tommy right on them. And I used to just wait around until someone came in with a 70 skyline. Then he got smart and he said, well, look, I'll be home. Listen, I enjoy talking to some guys from MIT on my little problem. Great. Bye, bye. Thanks for calling.

So long. Bye, bye, Alan. And it's not an average MIT student or graduate who can solve any problem. I'll render misinformation. All right, Tommy. You remember the only puzzler of the new millennium to date? There's only one to remember. I know you can do it.

All right. You mean this current millennium? Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us. Click and Collect the Tappert Brothers. And we're here to talk about cars, car repair, and the answer to last week's puzzler. Here it is. You're ready? Yeah. You are kidnapped and unceremoniously dumped on a deserted island in the Pacific. Now, this island is 10 miles long, but the dimensions don't really matter that much.

And about 100 yards wide. And it's completely covered with grass and palm trees. Mm, I love it. Your captors have been nice enough to give you a few things to assist you in surviving. They've given you a case of San Pellegrino water, a life-sized poster of Ginger Grant, the flashlight, a box of matches, and a space blanket. Yeah.

The first day you walk around the island and you realize that there's no chance of escape, the island is a sheer drop-off all around, 500 feet onto sharp rocks, and worse than that, shark-infested waters. So you're going to sleep the first night, and you're awakened by the loud clash of thunder and the bright flash of lightning.

You realize that lightning has struck the far end of the island about five miles away from you. You're in the middle of the island and the lightning has set the grass and palm trees on fire. And as luck would have it, there's a breeze blowing, there's a breeze blowing from the fire toward you. So you're what? You're in a lot of trouble. You're done for. It's pushing the flames in your direction at a rate of, say, two miles an hour. So if you run to the other end of the...

the island, you've got five hours until it reaches you, and you know that everything on the island is going to be toasted, including you, unless you think quick. Yeah. And don't forget what you got. You got a flashlight? Let me get a look at that list. Let's go back to the list. What do you got?

A life-size poster of Ginger Grant. Right. A flashlight. Right. A box of matches. A lot of what they're going to do. The island's already on fire, right? And a space blanket.

Space. And a case of San Pellegrino. How big is the case? Is it like a thousand gallons? No, what's a case? Six, eight, 12, bottle. Yeah, okay. You could douse yourself with the San Pellegrino, right?

Yeah. No, that's not going to last long. That's not going to work. No, you'll be burned up. You could douse the space blanket, but it won't absorb any of the water because it's, what, space blanket? Right. You could cover yourself with the space blanket and hope that the trees leave enough oxygen behind for you to breathe. You could do all those things.

However, you save yourself with the matches. You turn around with your back to the fire. Yeah. And you light on fire the grass in front of you. The same wind that's blowing that fire toward you is going to blow the new fire toward the end of the island and leave behind a place where there's nothing combustible. Oh, man! This is great!

And you'll escape, but you'll only last two more days because there'll be nothing to eat on the island and you'll be dead. But you'll have gotten two more days. And you would have won the puzzler. That too. And every firefighter knows that this is a classic fire break. Yeah, this is great. Yeah, Ken Rogers said, as soon as you like that match, the wind. changes the direction. And then you really

don't. So who's our winner, Tommy? Yeah. The winner is the guy on the island whose name is oh, Margaret Reynolds. That's a funny name for a guy. From Ocean Springs, Mississippi. And for having her answers selected at random from among those thousands of correct answers, our pal Margaret is going to get a $25 gift certificate to the Car Talk Shameless Commerce Division, with which she can buy any of the returned car talk merchandise

that's been piling up here for the last couple of weeks. Oh, man. And anyway, we'll have a new... Automotive? Non-automotive? No. None of the above. I'll go for quasi.

Quasi. You can always make it quasi. We'll have a new quasi-automotive puzzle coming up in the third half of today's show, so stay tuned for that. In the meantime, you can call us and ask us questions about the car of your choice. Our number's 1-888-8-8-2-27-8-25.

Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, guys, it's Bill Lee and Craftsbury, Vermont. Bill? Webb, Vermont? Bill Lee, Craftsbury, yeah. You're not the same Bill Lee that used to pitch for the Red Sox. Pray, so. Are you really?

Yeah, I bought a car from you guys back in seven, no. You did like help. No, I bought it from Beaconwood Motors, a 74 Beamer. Beaconwood? Yeah, and I want to give it back to them, but they don't exist. I think they're out of business. For those of you that don't know it, Bill Lee was the, the star left-hand picture for the Red Sox in the 70s.

I remember the name. I never left. You never left, huh? But now you're in Vermont. Yeah, I was deported to Canada back in 78. Well, you were called maybe aptly or inaptly, the spaceman. Why? Why?

Because I'm not from this planet. Also, it was correct then. Then you should be called the spaceman. We're all spaceman. We're only visiting for like 70, 80 years, and we're out of here. Oh, you're absolutely right. Right. Yeah.

And the way I've always lived my life, which is contrary to, I guess, what would be called management's ideas. Well, we knew that. I was always well loved by the fans. Let's put this way. If I go to Boston, I never have to buy a beer. Great. Yeah. So now you're stuck up in, with Craffsbury?

Yeah, Craftsbury. I'm not stuck up here. It's a place that we don't let anyone know where it is. Okay, then don't tell us. So what are you doing these days besides playing baseball? Well, I've got a sugar bush up here with the Reed Farm, and we make maple syrup. I make woodbats. I raise chickens.

I've got a five-year-old daughter. Cool. Yeah, so I just, I pinker around. I do this. I do that. I'm kind of like you. People call me, and they have problems with their kids. Like, they're out of a line.

Out of alignment, yeah. And I do alignment problems on them. So what do you call on us about? Well, my car's at the bottom of the head. It's a 74 beamer. Oh, it's the same car. Yeah. It's got the Alpine a manifold with the Norris camshaft, the dual Weber carburetors.

Oh, yeah. And it's always been finicky, but only most of the time it's when the temperature's freezing, it runs fine. If it's hot, it runs fine. It's when it goes from freezing to warm. I have a lot of difficulties. And then I use as much WD40 as I can. And what do you do with the time? This WD40.

I spray it on all the wires inside the rotor cap, distributor, and usually it'll get going again. Oh, so when it goes from being cold to being warmer, it won't start? Yes. Is it worse if it's accompanied by damp weather? Yes. Aha. And you have tried all the usual things like spraying the cap, the rotor, and the wires. Yes.

And maybe even replacing them at some time or another than the last. last 25 years. I have once and probably have to do it again. The big thing is, I'll get it going, and then it'll run really rough, and then it'll come, I'll die, and then it won't start again. And I'm wondering if it's the rotor, because I'm going through rotor caps real quick. You are? What happens to them? The contacts get all black? Yes. Oh. And that happens within like 5,000 miles? Yes. Why do I ask him those questions? Never ask a question that you don't know the answer to me.

My lawyer tells me. Wow. Yeah. And so if you clean off those contacts, will it start? No. No. Have you ever replaced the coil? That's a good question.

No, because that was... I've been checking the spark to the coil, and I've got pretty good spark there, and I got a pretty good spark to the spark plug. So you know you're getting good spark out of the coil and to the plugs. Right. Well, when it's running, you do. Yes.

But when it's not running, you're not so sure of that. I'm going to suggest that you have a cracked coil tower. You are, huh? Yeah. See, after I asked all those brilliant questions, I was going to go the other way. Really? Go ahead. I was going to go with the Webbers.

Well, the Webbers are leaking. You're right. I had a couple of backfires and burned up a few things. How many acres of woodlands? It was one of those inopportune times when I was having wood delivered, and all of a sudden I was trying to start the car to facilitate the moving of the wood, and I looked back and my engine was on fire. Oh, well, it happens.

Those are small things. Those are small things, yeah. Well, it could be that the Weber is, if I'm not mistaken, have a temperature compensator in them, and it could be that when you are, that temperature compensator isn't working, and as the weather warms up, you're running way too rich, and even though you have good spark, you have fouled plugs. I think you're right.

And I'm going to suggest that if you took out the plugs and didn't change the rotor cap. I like that. And put plugs in it, it would probably fire right up. I like that. Which may be cheaper. You might be able to buy like a case of plugs. Yeah.

For the price of fixing the temperature compensator. Well, my five-year-old is starting to destroy this phone call. He is. All right. We'll let you take care of him. Next time it happens. Hey, Bill. There she goes.

Hey, Bill, the Red So, Red Sox gonna need you this season, so start warming up, will you? Hey, I've already won the over 50 world championship this year. Is that right? This is right. I've voted the best over 50 ball player in the universe. Well, they may need you, so get ready for spring training.

Clean up your spikes. Thanks. See you, Bill. Thanks for calling. Take care, boys. See you soon. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Oh, he was the best on the planet over... What planet? Well, he is a space man. We don't know. on planet. But Bill Lee was a big star for the Red Sox, and we're hoping that he comes back and bails them out this year because they're going to

need some pitching. Why would a guy over 50 not be eligible to play? Just because he... He's collecting his pension already. Yeah, he's up there. Sucking sugar out of trees. Well, good luck to you, Bill. Wherever you are. All right, look, it's time to take a short break. Oh, man, thank God. I've been working for like 15, 20 minutes now.

Straight. We'll be back with this week's new puzzler. Just a minute. Ha, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us. Click and Clack the Tappert Brothers. And we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and the new puzzler. Which you said would be quasi-automel.

I did. So here it is. Actually, I stole this. I mean, what is that little book? What is that? It's an advanced copy of a puzzle book. See what it says here? Advanced uncorrected proofs for the answers could be all wrong.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned it. What does that say there? Advance. Uncorrected. What if they had all the answers right, but in the wrong place? Oh, fun.

Well, this is a little book by Terry Stickles, and there's a forward in here by Will Shorts. Everyone knows Will. Yes. Frost My. No name. Will Frost My. Frost My Shorts. Who, of course, is the puzzle editor of the New York Times.

A frequent visitor to National Public Radio. Anyway, here's the puzzle. Yeah. You've been invited to go on a camping trip in the woods with your 25 or 30 of your closest buddies, and you've rented a cabin in the woods. Got it. You got it? Yeah.

Okay, so you're piling your cars. This is the automotive part. And you drive. And you drive to the woods. You drive to the cabin in the woods. We're finished with the automotive part now? Yeah. You get out of the car and now it becomes non-automot.

You go. Got it. The next morning, everyone gets up and it's decided that cookie is going to make homemade pancakes for everyone. But he needs to add to the recipe two gallons of water. Exactly two gallons of water. So you are sent to the well to fetch two gallons of water with no, what, measuring device. Oh. You get to the well.

Yeah. And you discover there are two jugs there. One says, 13 gallons. And the other says seven gallons. How can you, everyone knows this kind of puzzle, right? You pull one and the other. Do you also have a book of matches and a space blanket? Yes.

If a book of matches, a space blanket, and a full-size poster of Ginger Grant. And a gallon jug of San Bernardino water. So you have no measuring devices except the 13 gallon. And the seven. And the seven. In your job, if you choose to accept. Yeah. is to come back with exactly two gallons of water.

Wait a minute now. Did you go empty-handed? You went to the well to get water. So you don't have another container? No, you don't have another vessel. Ah, that was my question. You could carry the two gallons back in your undershorts. But you're going to use one of these vessels to carry the water back to the...

After you've measured it so precisely. After you've measured it precisely, exactly. Wait. Can you make two trips? No, you can't. The jugs are very heavy. You're going to need a hurdy a operation. They're only a gallon.

8.33 pounds. The empty jugs, they're earthenware. Actually, the jugs are made from spent plutonium. And you have a bad ticker. And you've got a bad ticker, a bad back, and a bad front. So you're allowed one trip. You got it? Yeah, I got it.

And you can't take your car because the automotive. portion of the puzzler is all over. Can he leave the room from now on when I do the puzzler? I love it. Now, if you think you know the answer, write it on the back of a $20 bill or a picture of Carlo Santana and send it to Puzzler Tower. Yeah. Car Talk Plaza.

Yeah. Box 3500. Harvard Square, Cambridge. Our Fair City. Mass. 02238. Or you can email. your answer from the Car Talk section of Cars.com.

If you'd like to call us, the numbers 1-888-8-8-8-2-2-7-82-5. Hello, you're on Car Talk. This is Gene from Tower, Minnesota. Tower? Tower, Minnesota. Yeah, Minnesota. Like Sears Tower. Yeah, like that.

Yeah, that one. Boy, you were unmistakably... You have the classic Minnesota accent. Yeah. Or whatever they call it. Just the way you say... Can you say Minnesota again? Minnesota.

Minnesota. Right. That's great. You were born there, obviously. We kind of sound like Canadians here. I mean, you don't get this in a couple of years of living in Tower, Minnesota. You've lived there pretty much all the time that you've been alive, right? Well, I spent 15 years in Ohio.

Same thing. Still the Midwest. Yeah. Come on. So what's cooking? Well, I call because I listen to your show all the time. and I never have any mechanical problems to call you with because my husband trades our cars in all the time. Really?

Well, about every 18 months to 24 months. You must be loaded, huh? Because we put so many miles on them. He says that they will depreciate too much if we wait too long. How many miles do you put on them? Probably about $45,000 a year. That's a lot of miles. Yeah, so he trades them in when they're about $68,000.

Something like that. Yeah. Oh, so you're doing everything possible to get that? the hell out of Minnesota every chance you get. Is that it? No. Oh, just asking. Are you guys driving like to Vegas every weekend?

Don't pry into the woman's personal life. That's fun, though. Well, he likes to trade everything, and I'm just worried that I might be next. Well, that's the point, isn't it? I mean, that's important. I mean, people who turn in their cars every year and a half, they don't have attachments too many things. If you can't get attached to a car.

I'm worried about the kids. I'm worried about myself. The kids, yourself, everything. The house. What am I going to do? Oh, no, I think the fact that he is trading all this stuff in means that he's saving his attraction for you. Oh, man.

Yeah, that's what I tell my wife, because I trade everything in all the time. And the reason the car's got 45,000 miles on it is not that he's got a girlfriend in Michigan. No, he's a salesman. Uh-huh. He's got a girlfriend everywhere. Everywhere. All right, enough for this. Come on.

Come on. Enough of this fooling around. It's a long distance between cities up here in the... I know. Yeah, we know that. So what's the question? My question is, should we be doing this or should we be keeping our cars longer than that? Do it.

Do it? Yeah. That's the easiest answer. Well... I mean, it costs you money. First of all, if he's a salesman, does someone else sort of help buy the new car? Someone subsidized that? Oh, he pays for it himself.

No, no. He has his own company. So they're... Oh, so the company, it's the company car. Well, there's two of them. Sure. Yeah. A personal and a business.

I mean, if you're going to put 90,000 miles on a car in two years. Right. I mean, if you were trying, if you were literally trying to save money only, if money was your only consideration, it does not make sense to sell a two-year-old car to buy a new one. No. On the other hand, if you're on the road for 45. thousand miles a year, then money isn't your only consideration. Reliability is a more important consideration, in which case he's doing probably exactly the right thing, and maybe he should

be trading it in even sooner. Okay. Maybe he can have a new car waiting at every... No, he's got to kind of figure it out. I mean, if he does it like every year and a half, so he's up to like 65, 70,000 miles on the car, that's about the right time to do things. Okay. Yeah, because that's the time when things are going to start to break, and if he really needs the car every day, which it sounds like he does, then you can't get stuck someplace, getting a water pump replaced and miss, you know, meetings with clients and such. Yeah, and all your girlfriends will miss you.

It's important to have that car at the ready. So he's doing the right thing. Okay. It sounds stupid, doesn't it? But it's the right thing. Okay. But you never get to drive the car anyway. Well, I do.

You know. Don't. The IRS could be. listening. Gene, you never drive the car. The car is 100% used for business. Right. Right. The only time you drive it is to take it to the car wash. Right. Right. And he pays you to do that. Right. Right. Right. Right. Okay. Okay. Let me get that established. See you, Gene. Good question. Bye. Bye. Bye-bye. Minnesota. I love it. I love it too. One 888 car talk. I love it. Yeah, you bet you. That's 888-227-8255.

Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Peter, and I'm in Mill Valley, California. Hi, Peter. How are you doing? Peter. I'm really good, gentlemen. How's yourself today? We're not bad. I have no complaints. Well, you should complain. Why?

Because it's worse than you think it is. What are you, a psychiatrist? Psychologist. Ah, see? I could tell. So what's up? Well, I've got a 1986. Honda Accord, fuel injected. Mm-hmm.

And what it does is driving out in California in kind of our nominal inclement weather when it's like 60 or 70 degrees. Mm-hmm. And I ride short distances, and then I stop, and the cooling fan comes on. And it won't go off. What's the longest time it's ever run for? Well, you know, I don't sit by it and time it, but it'll go on for like 10, 15 minutes, 20 minutes.

Have you called the Guinness people? I mean, there may be money in this. Well, only the Guinness stout people. Well, you know, it's supposed to come on. You know, I'm looking at the temperature gauge, and it's... It's dead cold and the thing's still running. It's pretty cold and it's still running. It's got short distances on it.

If I get in the car and then turn on the ignition, I don't start the motor, but I just engage that contact. Right, and then shut it off. Then the fan will go off. Right. Well, there are a lot of choices here. Yeah. To fix it, there is a cooling fan timer device, which works in conjunction with the fan and the switch that's in the radiate. You have a switch that screwed into the radiator that reads the radiator temperature.

But that sends a signal to this timer, which is located under the dash, right in the middle. Uh-huh. And that timer is supposed to run the thing for a predetermined amount of time after the thing shuts off, almost regardless of what the temperature is. Ah. So you need to replace that timer unit. Okay. It's called the cooling fan timer.

You can probably find one at a, what do you call that? An auto recycling center. Hmm. You know what that is? Junkyard. That's where I take my cans and bottles. That's the place. Yeah.

Yeah. You might be able to do that or you might have to buy a new one from the dealer. Uh-huh. But alternatively, you could do what you've been doing. Uh-huh. You know how to fix this by turning the key back on. Correct. So you could continue to do.

that. If you were real cheap skate and you didn't want to fool around with it. Boy, you got me, all right. I think if you were willing to sit there for one minute after you stopped the car. Uh-huh. I can do that. During that one minute, you'd let the fan run, then you'd turn the key on, turn it off, and you'd leave the car. It would be good if all cars had some kind of a peculiarity like this, which required people to sit there for a minute after they shut the engine off.

It would really be a contemplative moment, wouldn't it? I mean, all these people were jumping out of the car. Think about all these frazzled and frenzied housewives and mothers, jumping out of their little minivans to go somewhere and do something if they were obliged, required to sit there for 60 seconds. Well, that would be the mandatory minute, wouldn't it? The mandatory minute. I love it.

I love it, too. Huh? Maybe we could get Detroit to do this for us. They owe us something. God knows. Certainly a computer chip could stall the car for at least 60 seconds while you contemplated. Yeah, I'll lock the doors. At least.

lock you in. I like that. I like walking the doors. Well, good luck, Peter. Well, thank you so much. We thank you for your input, because we're going to ponder this, this contemplative minute. It'll be a beautiful thing. What did you call it? Meditative. Meditative minute. The mandatory meditative minute. The mandatory meditative minute. Mandatory. 3M. 3M. Here it is. Cool. All righty. Yeah. See you, Peter. Thanks so much. The magnificent mandatory meditative minute. Oh, yeah.

Oh, I liked it even better. Four M&M's. M&M's. Could be sponsored by M&Ms. You could eat the bag of M&Ms. That would take about a minute. That's right. This could be an ad campaign.

This could be our ticket out of this dump. The Mandatory M&M Meditative Minute. That's five M's. I love it. I'm telling you, there's big money here. You never listen to me. Well, it's happened again. You vaporized.

You're another hour listening to Car Talk. I certainly have. Our Steve producer is Doug the subway fugitive, not a slave to fashion Berman. Our associate producer is Ken the Diaper Slayer Rogers. Our assistant producer is Frow Catherine Fenalosa. Good work, George. Our engineer this week is George Hicks. Our senior web lackey is Doug Sheep Boy Mayor,

and our technical, spiritual, and menu advisor is John Bugsie make that two triple cheeseburgers waller. Is he on the free lunch tour again this week? He is. He's on the tour. I talked to him just the other day, and he's everywhere, man. Choking down another cheeseburger. Our public opinion poster is Paul Merkey of Mercky Research, assisted by statistician Margin Overa. Our customer care representative is Haywood Jabuzov. Our pseudonym consultant is Norm Diplum. The head of our division of threat assessment is U.N. What Army? Our director of luxury car horns is Tony Blair. And I like that. And our car stereo installer is Carlos Antenna,

our chief counsel from the law firm of Dewey Chitima How is you, Lewis Dewey, known to the sunbaters in Harvard Square as Ui Louie Dewee. Thanks so much for listening. We're clicking clack for Tappert Brothers and Don't Drive Like My Brother. Don't Drive like my brother. We'll be back next week. Bye-bye.

A special guest here in Car Talk Plaza is our chief mechanic, Mr. Vinnie. Gumbats. Vinnie? Thank you very much. Now, if you've worn a copy of this here show, which is number 0-0-0-0-0. Oh, oh, three. Just pick up your phone and call this number one, 8888.

8888-88-88-88-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-C. And what if I wanted some other Car Talk stuff? I mean, you know, like a Best of Car Talk CD or something like that. Would I call that same number, then? No, you call Henry Pope Peel and ask if they come free with the pocket fishermen used to hope. No, you call the shameless commerce division at 888 Carjunk or visit it online at the Car Talk section of Cars.com, you know? Thank you, Vinny. That was very well.

Deliver this, bub. Car Talk is a production of Dewee Cheetahevin-Hau and WBUR in Boston. And even though 98% of all laboratory mice beg scientists for earplugs when they hear us say it, this is NPR National Public Radio.