The Best of Car Talk - #2627: Better to Die in a Fiery Crash

Episode Date: April 4, 2026

Jose is stuck on the horns of a dilemma -or is he? Whether to risk getting ripped off by a local repair shop or to die in a fiery crash. Click and Clack help him weigh his options on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.To manage podcast ad preferences, review the links below:See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us Click and Clack to Tapit Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the Department of Shameless Self-promotion here at Carat Talk Plaza. It is that. Honesty is the best policy, so we'll just call this what it is. What it is is the publication of a book that we wrote, which is out on your shelves just today. And if you hurry, you can get it before it's most of the buck of books. The title is, in our book. a humble opinion, and we're not asking you to buy it. And I'll tell you why. I'll read to you

from the introduction, which explains that we're not asking you to buy it. We're not. It says, you may have some misgivings about buying a book about someone's opinions as well. You should. After all, we all have opinions, and as we know, men have strong opinions about everything, especially topics they know nothing about. Moreover, you have your own opinion, so why would you give a rat's patootie about ours. And it goes on to say, we wrote the book because someone actually offered to pay us to write it. They gave us what's called in the business an advance. Now, it says, we really don't expect to make any more money than they've already given us. So if it makes you feel any better, none of the money you spend on the book will come to us.

It will all go to the publisher to help defray the expenses of the very big mistake that they have made. And they're suing lawsuits and negative publicity and all that. Of course, you may or may not want to reward them for that mistake. It's up to you. We don't really care. We really don't care. I mean, are we going to sell enough books that were going to make more money than they gave us already? No, I'm just afraid that if you don't sell enough, they'll be asking for money back. So, I mean, you may want to help them out, but you ain't helping us out.

So frankly, we don't care if you buy the book or not. If you would like to shamelessly promote your own car problem, our number is 888 Car Talk. That's 888-2225. Hello, your own car talk. This is Jose from Baton Rouge. Hi, Jose from Baton Rouge. What's going on?

About a couple of weeks ago, I'm driving a green Dodge Caravan, 95. And I woke up and it had a flat tire on it. So I got out to Jack. I put everything into its place, and I started to change the tire. halfway through, I decided to put the spare under the car just in case, and forbid, the Jack, you know, would break. That's the way my dad taught me. That's an invitation to a disaster.

Well, it was like a prophecy of disaster that day. So you put the spare underneath the wheel that you had just taken the bad tire off? He was about to take the tire off. Actually, I did both. First, I put the spare under the car. Yeah. And then when I took the tire off the flat, I swapped them. Brilliant.

Well, almost. Maybe. Soon to be, we'll see that. I put it underneath the car right below the front driver's side door. Because that's sort of near where I put the jack. I figured if anything happened, that would support the weight. So this was a front tire where you had the flat. Yeah, that's right.

So this tire now is behind the front wheel. Exactly. Got it. Well, and I didn't even touch it. And the Jack made this horrible creaking noise. And I thought, well, maybe I just should give it a little nudge or something, just to make sure it, you know. And suddenly, you know, the thing just slipped and the car went down.

And it hit the tire. And I watched the disc break, and it actually hit the ground. as well. Those discs are tough. They are. Oh. Well, that's what I was wondering, because, you know, I don't want to be driving out, and all of a sudden hear another creaking noise and have my left wheel fly off.

But I don't want to take it to a cardular ship, tell them the story. God forbid. And then, you know, see their eyes shine and dollar sign and say, oh, yeah, we have to change the whole thing. Better you should die in a fiery crash. At least it'll be quick. It's amazing. The lengths that people will go to to avoid going to a dealership.

This guy would rather die in a fiery crash. Well, no, he wouldn't. That's why he's calling us. Jose called us. I was telling you to clear my life here. But he's calling us? I mean, he could still die in a fiery crash. He's going to take our word for it?

He's going to take our word for it. Jose, what are you thinking? He's going to take our word for it. He is, I know. I'll tell you a story, Jose. Okay. I once drove a triumph, TR 250, a little sports car. My dad had a triumph.

It was a great little car. And one time, I personally was responsible for forgetting to tighten up the lug nuts when I had been doing something. I think I put new pads in it. That was the last day we allowed them to work at the garage. And I neglected to tighten the lug nuts. And that night, I was driving down one of the major highways here around Boston. For those concerned customers, that was the last day coming to work at the garage.

Yeah, it was the last day. And as I'm driving along, interestingly, I'm doing about 60 miles an hour. This is a road that goes in two directions. There's no barrier or center strip between the lanes going. A yellow line separating you from a fiery crash. From other guys doing 60 miles an hour going on the opposite. direction. Okay. And all of a sudden, one by one, unknown to me, one by one, the lug nuts had been falling off. There were four or five of them. I don't remember. Well, well, none when

you were done. And all of a sudden, the last one fell off. I was, I was not aware of any of this. And the only thing that made me aware of it was suddenly the wheel fell off. Oh my God. I mean, no sign whatsoever, no noise, no shaking. It was, it was magnificent. At least no shaking that you could discern from the other shakes of noises that the car made. The wheel falls off and naturally now the same thing happens that happened to you, except I'm doing 60 miles an hour. The spark display was magnificent. Because now I'm driving on three rubber wheels and one disc.

And I managed somehow to not crash into the oncoming traffic. I managed to pull over to the side and pull. Which is, X, Y says, shut. For my luck, there's a gas station there, and I pull into the gas station, sparks flying everywhere. Everyone comes running out, and I say, fill it up and check the oil. A true story. A true story. A true story.

And I, I mean, it was dark. It was late at night, and I left the car there. The next day, I went back. I found the wheel in the middle of the road. and I found all the lug nuts. Yeah, and it was a great demonstration. It was a great demonstration of how Darwinism failed sometimes. Darwinism doesn't always work.

That's right. And I just put, I jacked it up, I put the wheel back on, tightened up the same old lug nuts, and drove around for the next five years on the same car. No, no, there's problems or anything. No, you're not going to have any disc problem either, because what happened when the car fell, indeed the disc did hit the pavement, but because there's a spring attached to the McPherson strut, you compressed the spring. That's what I thought.

Yeah, and don't forget, the vehicle weighs a couple of thousand pounds, so there wasn't that much force being applied to that disc, and it's designed to take a lot more punishment than that. I mean, it's not something I'd recommend you do every week, but you did nothing to put your life in jeopardy. Well, I should say, unless there was already something wrong, and it wouldn't hurt to have someone take a look at the time. wrought ends and the ball joints on both sides. Because if you had one that was very weak, you may have gone that last eighth of an inch to make it fail. I wouldn't worry about it.

I would have someone just take a peek. Don't tell them anything about the incident. Jose, who you're going to listen to? The guy whose wheel nuts fell off at 60 or the guy whose nuts didn't fall off. Come on. I beg your pardon. I wouldn't worry about tyroids. I mean, it would be nice to have them checked as a matter of course.

Okay. The next time you're in for something, you just might want to casually mention it. Without any fanfare or melodrama. Absolutely. It'll be an invitation for overspending. That's what I was wondering. So I would downplay it. It's like it happens all the time.

Oh, yeah, it fell off the jack again. But don't worry, you didn't do any damage to it or anything else in all likelihood. Yeah. And you're lucky that the car didn't fall on top. of you. And you have good luck. You know that the forces of nature are with you. Your chi is working fine. Thank you. Have a great day. Bye. Bye. Hey, Tommy. Do you remember anything about last week's puzzling? Uh, um, no. Well, I'll help. It was a story of love, romance, ingenuity, and dead batteries. And Bedouins? And I'll have the answer in just a minute.

Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, clicking clack Tappert Brothers, and we're here to talk about cars, car repair, and the answer to last week's puzzler. I can't remember it. Oh, here it is. Murray Price and I conspired on this puzzler. Many, many, many years ago when Krusty, our old mechanic was a young man in courting the girls, he decided to take one of his dates out for a ride in the country one evening.

Took them all out for the country. And his plan, of course, was to park by the lake and do a little smooching. So they parked the car and they go off for a little walk in the woods, and, you know, end up by the water's edge. Very romantic, you know. Yeah, I love it. And an hour later, to his horror, he remembers that he left his headlights on. So he runs back to the car, leaving his date at the lake, and turns off the now dim headlights. He puts the key of the ignition.

He tries to start the car, but he gets that awful... Oh, dead battery sound. The engine is just turning over barely and clearly not fast enough to start the engine up. Now, he knows if he doesn't get his date home on time, her father, or maybe it was her husband, is going to be waiting with the shotgun. So he's got to think of something quick. The car is parked in such a location that he could never hope to push it out of there. And in any event, he couldn't push it out of because it's an automatic transmission car.

Oh, man. Anyway, in the trunk, he's got a gallon of Felipe Barrio extra virgin olive oil. Doesn't everybody? A family-sized tube of preparation age. Doesn't everybody. A pair of pliers and a se. set of jumper cables, but alas, no one to get a jump from. And yet in about five minutes, he gets the car running. He does get his date back in time when her father never finds out. Wow.

The hint was, he used the pliers. How did he do it? Use the pliers? He used the pliers. Now, the hints are all there, of course. They're all embedded. Did he have a cell phone? Yeah. What he did have was an old car. One of those cars where you could take out the plugs with a pair of pliers. Oh, man. And what he does is he takes out... Two of them. If it's a six-cylinder car, he takes out two plugs, like number one and number six, which

is halfway through the firing order. Right. And now he's got a four-cylinder car, and he's got better than that, he's got two less cylinders to compress the mixture in. Yes. So he turns the key, and now with the available energy in the battery, it cranks up, admittedly, it sounds like a gatling gun when it starts. but he can run it long enough to charge up the battery.

Put the plugs back in. Put the plugs back in. All the neighbors, of course, from miles around come because they think someone's being shot at. But he can then put the plugs back in and fire the thing up. This was brilliant! And drive home.

Brilliant! Do we have a winner this week? Who cares? The winner is Marie Priceland. No, the winner is Robert Cattabriga. Caterbriga. I would say Caterbriga. Catabriga from Lebanon, New Hampshire.

Good work, Robert. For having his answer selected at random, Robert is going to get a $25 gift certificate to the Car Talk store on our website, with which he can get a copy of our new book in our humble opinion, Click and Clack, Rant and Rave. It's hard cover so you can shim up a really wobbly table.

I mean, this is really heavy duty. Look at this. You won't find this in the buck of bin. And it's adjustable. See, if you have just a small thing, You can open it up and just use the cover. Very hard. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you can have all, I think, all shims up to, what's that? It's an inch, isn't it? Wow, we wrote an inch. We wrote an inch. So, congratulations, Robert. You're going to have the best shims in town. We will have a new mathematical, non-automotive. It's not mathematical.

It's a logic problem. Well, it's from the series of the... The balanced beam. The heavy coin series. Yeah. Okay. So that will be coming up in the third half of today's show. So stay tuned for that.

In the meantime, you can call us and ask us questions, and we can fumble through the answers. The number is 1-8-88-car talk. That's 8-88-227-8-25-5. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Burma Madison and Silver City, New Mexico. Burma? Burma.

Burma, B-L-L-Ly-L-E-R-M-A. Cool. Thanks. And you're from Silver City, New Mexico. New Mexico. call? The Eseigneur.

So now, more importantly, what's what does Burma think? Yeah, what's Burma? You know, I just knew you were going to ask you. Oh, did you? Oh, what the hell, of course. I wish I had a really clever answer, but I don't. It's just a family name. It is, huh?

Yes, uh-huh. So other people in the family have had the name and you don't know the derivation. Right. What is your ethnic background? Maybe we can trace it that way. Probably mostly German and some English. German? Burma.

Well, as you know, our producer's name is Doug Berman. Yeah, maybe you're related to. Well, that's close. I hope you're not related to him. No. Oh, no, that would be awful. So what brings you to call us today, Burma? Well, I have a really unusual problem for you.

I have a 94 Nissan Centra. It's got almost 100,000 miles on it, and I've taken very good care of it. But I have to go to Elbequerque, New Mexico, about once a month, and I drive through a mountain range called the Black Range, and it has around 200 fairly sharp curves. The last three trips that I've made to Albuquerque, I've noticed this feeling, and I have to emphasize that it's a feeling. It's not a noise. That when I turn to a sharp curve, after I've done to a sharp curve, after I've done. been driving for a while. I feel a sense that it would almost be if a copper pipe had a dimple in it. Is it like a rumbling that you feel? It's not a rumble. It's almost like a dip in the steering somewhere. Oh, so you're in the turn. I'm in the turn, and I... And you feel a little hitch in the steering?

Yes. And it seems to me that it's gotten worse every time I've made that trip. And the last time I made the trip, it almost felt like it wanted to stick there. Ah, good. Very good. So I don't want to take that drive over the black range anymore because I'm... Oh, no, you don't want your steering to stick. Right. If you've completed the curve.

Yeah. Right. Because you could wind up either going over the edge. Or into another car or... Or into another car. Yeah. Oh, we don't want to even think about it. But can I just finish this story?

Because every time I've taken that over the black range, I've gone straight into the repair shop and said, there's something wrong with this car. And they said, no. And they have given it back to me. They've kept it for hours and zigzagged through parking lots and given it back to me and said, there's nothing wrong.

I mean, the trouble is there are many, many things that do this, And the only one who really notices it is the person who is one with the vehicle. And that is you. And that is you. So some snort-nosed mechanic who's going to drive it around for 15 minutes isn't going to notice something that you, only you who drive the car 100,000 miles are going to feel. But this is not something that we can take lightly because you're driving on mountains. And you probably have something wrong with your steering rack. That's what I think.

Do you think that? Yeah, I do. There's one other possibility, which is not as expensive. That would be nice. And that is the coupling between the steering column and the rack. There is a coupling which consists of a couple of universal joints. And that can be binding up. And you might be able to feel that even if you were on a straightaway, after it's begun to do it,

if you could pull into a parking area and stop the vehicle but leave the engine running so the power steering still continue to work. If you were to turn the wheel slowly all the way to the left and then back all the way to the right, you might notice that every half turn, it got a little bit stiff and then got easy to turn and then got stiff again, then got easy to turn, and then a half a turn later got stiff again. If that's what you notice, then I would suspect this coupling between the steering column and the rack. If, however, the stiffness is not predictable in that fashion, then I would suspect the rack is bad. And I think, you know, assuming that they've checked all the other stuff, the tire rod ends, the control arm, bushings and all that, it's almost got, and of course, I would imagine they would have checked the brakes to make sure that none of the calipers was sticking. You should ask them to check that too, but because a sticking brake can make the car feel like the steering isn't working correctly.

Oh, okay. So it could be something like that, but let's assume they've checked all that stuff and given it a clean bill of health, then I would suspect either the steering, or the rack. Okay. And if they can't, the steering coupling is easy to check. They can take it out and try to flex it. If it gives resistance in any direction,

then it's junk. Uh-huh. And that's relatively cheap. And if they can't find out a problem, they can't find a problem there, then I would recommend you just put a rack and pinion in it because you're going to die otherwise. Okay.

Yeah. And don't drive on the black range until they find something. All right. Really, it could be really dangerous. Okay. Well, thank you so much. See you. And we don't have many listeners named Burma.

If we lose you, we're going to be very, very disappointed. Oh, all right. Well, I'll keep listening forever. Great. All right. Thanks. Bye. Bye-bye.

It won't be forever if she goes off that mountain. No, no, no. Hey, stick around for more calls and the new puzzler coming right up. Ha, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Clack the Tappert Brothers, and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and da, and da, the new puzzler. The new excellent puzzler, I must say. Well, if you've been listening for a number of years, as we have.

You may remember some of the coin puzzlers of yesterday year. Yeah. You know. I remember a few of them. Yeah. One was you got eight coins and you've got a balance scale and how can you figure out with the fewest number of wings, which is the heaviest coin. Remember that? Yeah.

Oh, you got ten coins and an analytical balance. What does analytical balance do? Like, think about it a lot. I don't understand what they're putting all these coins on here for. And of course, there were the pill puzzles. And the string. There was a string series. Well, so this, we're going back to coins.

String theory. Imagine that you have in front of you 50 coins. Okay, they all look exactly alike, except one of them is a fake. And because it's a fake, it weighs an ounce more or some amount more. It doesn't really matter. A couple of grams. It weighs a couple of grams more than a real coin. So if you were to put, if you had a balanced scale, and you knew which was the bad coin,

You would put it on one side of the scale, and you'd put a good coin on the other side, and it would be immediately obvious from this imbalance, which was the phony coin because it's heavier than... We know that it's heavier than a real good coin. All right. Okay. So knowing that, you have in front of you, 50 coins, one of which is bogus. Yeah. And the question is, what is the fewest number of wanes on a balanced scale?

That is one of which... A balanced beam. No, that's what Nadia Kuman H walks on. Oh, that's a balance. Yeah, a balanced scale. You put some of the coins on one side and some of the coins on the other side. And you have no weights. Balance.

You have no weights save for the coins. In other words, you can only put coins on one side and coins on the other. Got it. So the question is you've got 50 coins. One of them is bogus. What's the smallest number of wangs you can do to determine? Part B, how can you do it in four? How can you do it in four, exactly?

I knew it. I can see it coming. How can you do it in four? Now, if you're thinking, well, this is not. Well, I have to say, I've been working on this for a couple of hours now. Well, 10 minutes. And if you think you know the answer, write it on a postcard or a 35-foot, fully equipped mahogany antique catamaran. With full crew and optional wet bar.

Has anything come through, Louie? Have anyone been to the post office this week? I mean, have we got any big delivery? We may be shooting too high. Mahogging antique catamaran. That's a nice idea. When we were asking for dead fish, we got a month. You got plenty of them.

Anyway, send your answer to Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3500, Harvard Square, Cambridge. Our Fiercity. Matt 02238. Or, of course, you can email your answer from the Car Talk section of Cars.com. If you want to talk to us right now, you can call 1-888-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-car talk. That's 8-8-8-8-8-4-Hococ. 888-227-8255. Hello, you're on. Car Talk. I'm Carrie Beth, and I'm calling from Columbia, Missouri. Carrie Beth? And I have in a 2000 Explorer, and I have 4,500 miles, and I got it on February 14th.

4,500 miles already. Yes. Most of them, almost all of them are on highway. My roommate says that I should not be on the highway in a new car because it's going to age the engine. Too late now. Forget about it. Is this the nature of your call? Yeah, I'm wondering, if that's true, what can I do to kind of work against that? Did you read the owner's manual when you got the car? Yeah, most of it. Most of it.

Mostly how to work the radio, right? I read that first, but then I moved on to the other part. I don't think the answer matters. Okay. Because whatever it was, it's gone. It's done, it's over, and just keep driving and forget about what your roommate says. Okay. You didn't drive it much over 60, did you? I don't know. I've gone to, my car is actually

bought in Kentucky and my parents brought it to me, so it's first drive. So you're not even responsible. Well, I'm sure that dad broke it incorrectly. He probably did. Yeah, I know he did. Typically read the book. If you read the owner's manual, it typically says, and I assume it's the same for the explorer, it says for the first 500 to 1,000 miles, don't drive at sustained high speeds. so that if you do drive on the highway, don't go up to 65 miles an hour and keep it there for an hour. But rather, start out a little bit,

drive up to 50 miles an hour, drop down to 40, go up to 60, come back. But it's only for the first 500 to 1,000 miles. So whatever it is, you're past it now. All right. I will tell you that every new vehicle that I've ever had

where I've done this has ended off burning oil. So my new philosophy is do it Every other knucklehead does. Just get in and drive it. Just get in and drive it. Yeah. And if it burns oil, that's their problem.

If it was that important, they should have broken it in. Just get in and drive it. Who cares? Okay. See it, Carrie, Beth. All right, thanks for your call. Yeah, I don't think the onus of breaking in the engine should be on the owner. Why should it be?

They're just trying to get rid of the car a little bit faster. I'm going to come off the end of that assembly line. Drive it around for 500 miles before you send it to me. Yeah. Well, actually, the dealerships do that day. And then they turn back the old dormitone. They have their kids do it, right? Yeah, they have the teenage boys do it.

They'll drive this thing around the parking lot for a couple of hours. 1-888-8-8-8-8-2-278-25. Hi, well, hello, you're on car talk. Hi, guys. Hi, who's this? This is Ronnie. Ronnie. Ronnie.

Hello, hi. Where you're from, Ronnie? I live now in Fort Lauderdale. Oh, Fort Lauderdale. Fort Lauderdale. Do you have blue hair? Blue hair, not quite working on it. We're all working on it.

We guys. We're not working on no hair. There you go. But I'd be happy with blue hair. There you go. No, not quite blue. Thanks anyway. All right.

I'll look forward to that, however. So what's shaking? Okay, I have a very technical question to challenge your expertise. Oh, all right. So do you're thinking caps? Oh, I'm ready. Okay. Okay.

For the past 20 years, I've always had a white car. Okay? Uh-huh. Here's a technical question. Get ready. I'm about to purchase a new car and decide to be really wild and go for a black car. Really? My husband cooperatively responded with a resounding. Are you nuts?

How can we have a black car in Florida, where the average temperature is like 85, the humidity is like 100%. Yeah. We will fry. Anyway, we went to the car dealer, and sure enough, side by side were two black and white cars. Right, right. And my husband pointed out touch one. It's going to be about 20 degrees cool than the other. The dealer quickly said to us, no, no, no.

even though the black one is hotter on the outside, it doesn't make a difference in the inside. That only takes a point seven of a second for air-conditioning unit with his great new cars where they're built to kick on and make the temperature internally exactly the same. Point seven seconds? Point seven. Okay. Yeah. Was he wearing plaid pants this guy?

Of course not white. It's too hot in Florida. He wasn't wearing any pants. That's right. Okay. So, wait, it goes on with my husband said, you mean the law of physics doesn't apply to car? Now, it's important for you to understand that the white car I found it afterwards is actually already sold. Ah.

That doesn't surprise. Which canceled out the deal of advice totally. Completely, yeah. Completely. So here's my question, my technical question. Yeah. Does it really make a difference inside of a car, whether it's black or white on the outside? Yes.

It does. Sure, it does. I'm not going to have my husband listen to the show on the, whatever. Well, I'm sure. I mean, you're listening. You know, I mean, if you've ever had, for example, a convertible with black seats. Well, no, I think Ronnie's question is if the metal, the sheet metal of the car were white as opposed to black, but the interior were the same color. There you go.

Would it make a difference? And I don't think it makes a difference in that sense. That's what I'm asking. What if you had a car with no air conditioning? Would it be harder in the black car or in the white car? Answer, it would be harder in the black car. Right. Everyone knows that the white car will reflect away much of the heat that's coming in, or not much, some of it.

How much of a difference will there be? Who knows? But your husband is at least theoretically correct that the black car will be harder. Now, you add air conditioning. You say, well, I can't even tell the difference. Well, that's true. But the air conditioner is working harder to keep the black car cool than it would be keeping the white car cool. So he was right, is what you're telling you.

I'm telling you that he was right. He is right. We think. Whether it makes any practical difference, except in the life of the longevity of the air conditioning system, I don't know. I would doubt that that would be too much of a factor. However, we are getting perilously close to the arena of electric trailer brakes. Okay, okay. If you ever heard our discussion about cattle trailer.

Cattle trailer, electric brakes, about which we know nothing. Right. It didn't prevent us, however, from going on a long, 10-minute dissertation. Here you go. You know, so we may know nothing about this topic. But I do remember, I would definitely avoid a dark interior. I remember some years ago wearing shorts. Ouch.

And getting into a Cadillac with a black leather interior. And hearing, it sounded like I had gone to the Bissuteki State. coutes and they had thrown a raw piece of meat onto that thousand degree grill and that same sound was there, that sizzling. Did they have a delicious barbecue smell as well?

Well, not really. And you also know that all the Latin American dictators wear white shirts. There you go. Now that I don't want to say anything else. That makes my decision. Exactly. That says it all, doesn't it? So go for white, Ronnie. Oh, thanks, guys. Again,

Blue hair and a white car. I'll fit him perfectly. You'll be great. Send us a picture. See you later. Bye, bye. Well, it's happened again. You've underutilized.

No, you've outright squandered. Another perfectly good hour listening to Car Talk. Our esteemed producer is Doug the subway fugitive. And Martha by mail. Martha by mail. We have it on good authority that our producer, you're ready for this? Yes, Martha Stewart Living. delivered by mail.

Oh, he's shaking his head, but we know you're a lion's sack because Catherine, our spy, saw your name on the, on the magazine. The mailing label. The mailing label.

Well, that's why, first of all, he's so impeccably dressed. And that's why his office is so beautifully. That's why the office looks like a bomb went up. But it was a feng shui bomb. Martha Stewart Living Oh my God Our associate producers

Our frau, Catherine, You Can't Quit, you're fired, Fenalosa And Louis Croton the Barbarian Our engineer is George Hicks Our senior web lackey is Doug the old gray mayor And our technical spiritsman menu advisor Just back from the North American Free Lunch Grand National is John Bugsy Lawler

Our public opinion poster Is Paul Merkey of Merkey Research Assisted by statistician Margin Overa Our customer care representative is Haywood Jabuzoff. Our director of new product repair is warranty my foot. Our audience estimator is Adam Ilyan. Our pseudonym consultant is Norm Diplum. Our dermatologist for teenagers is Don Pickett.

Our conflict resolution specialist is Yvonne, a piece of me. Our emergency room physician is Henrietta Badclam. Our divorce attorney is Carmine, not yours. Our Russian chauffeur is peek-off and drop-off. And our seat cushion tester is, of course, Mike Easter. Our chief counsel from the law firm of Dewey Children, How is you, Louis. Stooie, known to the James Taylor imitators in Harvard Square as Uie-Louis-Douie. Thanks so much for listening.

We're clicking clack to Tappert Brothers, and above all, don't drive like my brother. And secondly, above all, don't drive like my brother. We'll be back next week. Bye-bye. And now here is Car Talk Plaza's chief mechanic, Mr. Vincent Q. Gumbats. Vinnie? Thank you very much. Now, if you want a copy of this year's show, which is number 20, you can get one on the web.

Just head on over to the online store at the... car talk section of cars.com, you know? And what if somebody wanted something else, you know, like the new book in our humble opinion that we just published? Would I go to that same site if I wanted that? No, you dope. You go to www. the Daniel Pinkwater Exercise Video.com.

Of course, you go to the same site, the Card Talk section of Cars.com Or you can order my phone by calling 888 Car Junk. Thank you, Vinay. I appreciate your candor about all this. Hey, candor, can this, right? Car Talk is a production of Dewey Cheatham and Howe and WBUR in Boston. And even though Vladimir Putin calls our office and politely asked for our exact coordinates, whenever he hears us say it, this is NPR National Public Radio.