The Best of Car Talk - #2630: Private Mag Lee Ozee!

Episode Date: April 14, 2026

Back in the days of compulsory military service here in the US, there was, for a brief time, a certain ‘Private Magliozzi’ struggling mightily to keep his sanity through army basic training. ‘Drop and give us 20’ while you listen to this episode of the Best of Car Talk.To manage podcast ad preferences, review the links below:See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us Click and Clack the Tappertaput Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the ahead-of-one time department here at Car Talk Plaza. Now, it turns out that once again, while we thought my brother was just another moron, we found out that he was just way ahead of his time. And we're going to need some background. You'll have to tell us the story, the original incident. And when it all happened? The original incident...

What was the year? It was way back. It was another millennium. I had just graduated from college. Many, many decades ago. Many, many decades ago. In the galaxy far away. And I was obliged by the laws of this country at the time to perform some kind of military duty,

which involved either volunteering to go into the army for like years or to go into what was called the Army Reserve, which may still exist. What do I know? And that required that you go to six months of real active duty with the real guys who... The push-ups and all that stuff. The guys who were in for two or three or four or 20 years, you're right? So there I am. I go to this place, which is completely foreign to me. I mean, this is not my style.

You don't sit around drinking Campuccino when you're in basic training. So we go through all the business. We run. We jog. Everyone pukes every day. We eat in the mess. Hall, we do all this stuff. One of the parts of the operation that really troubled me was we had to fire rifles. Oh, I mean, what? Come on, what is that? The worst part, however, was every time you shot the gun,

you had to clean it. We took the thing apart, put it back together. I learned how to do that. Right. So one night, we're doing night maneuvers, and we go out in the dock, and we go to the firing range, and we're supposed to be lying down in the mud and every once in a while some kind of a thing 150 yards away is supposed to pop up and you're supposed to shoot at it. And then they look to see if you hit it.

Well, what did I give a damn if I hit it or not? Who cares? What are they going to do, send you all? They're not going to fire me, right? So there I am, it's pitch black, pitch black, moonlight, starlight. And I'm lying there saying to myself, I fire this gun just once

and I'm going to have to spend two hours cleaning it. Yeah. I says to myself, I says, if I don't fire it, who's going to know? Even Sergeant McNeely, who knew everything? I said, how's he going to know? There's a hundred of us lined up lying on the ground. I said, what he's going to probably do?

And he's watching us. And there's a recoil, of course. When you fire the thing, boom, it pushes you back. Right, right, right. So I lie there on the ground and I start doing bang. Bang. I mean, I had to give myself the message that the thing had fired. All right.

That was your motivation. So I'm saying out loud, bang. And as I say bang, I'm recoiling. Got it. And I figure from the back, who the hell is got to know? Right. Bang. Bang.

It was great. I said, I've got this deal beat. All of a sudden, I hear in my ear. I mean, like his mouth is right next to my right ear. And he's leaning over me, evidently. good old Sajor McNeely, and he says, private maglioso, what are you doing? And I say, oops. And of course, he hit me over the head and told me to start shooting.

So I had to clean it. But I thought it was a pretty good idea. I mean, I wasn't hurting anybody. That's the background to the story. No, that was 50 years ago, right? Well, let's fast forward to the year 2000. London, Reuters. Boop, Boop, Bo, Bo, Bo.

British Royal Navy recruits are being ordered not to fire live shells. There you go. Instead, they are instructed to shout, bang! It is all part of the Ministry of Defense's drive to save money, but sailors say it makes a mockery of their training. It's like being a kid again playing cowboys and Indians in the school playgrounds. It's okay by me. It's a sad joke and sailors are disgusted.

It makes you ask what the Navy is coming to. But you would, Frank, you were just... I was 50 years ahead of my time. You were 50 years ahead of your time. Just say bang. That's it. I can see it as a bumper sticker now. Just say bang.

I see it too. Anyway, if you want us to look into your future or your car's future, call us at 888-8-8-2-7-8-25-5. Private Magliusia. What the Sam Hill are you doing? Hello, you're on car talk. Hi, guys. This is Linda from Apple Valley, Minnesota. Hi, Linda, from Apple Valley.

Apple Valley. The snow is gone. Wow. So the ice fishing season is officially over, too. Oh, absolutely. Okay. So what's going on, Linda? I've got a big problem.

A big one. Yeah? I have a 21-year-old daughter who is home from college, and she may be riding in the death trap at this very moment. Uh-oh. And although I get mad at her sometimes, I don't want anything bad to happen to her. Certainly not. We've got to get to that stage in life.

where she starts doing nice things for me, which I figure's about 30 years from now. Wait a minute, let me just tell you. She's 21, huh? See, my son is 19, and he actually has started doing nice things for his parents at 19. Is there something wrong with mine? Is it because she's a girl?

Well, I'm wondering. I don't know. Is there a gender difference here? I don't know. We should commission a study on this. We should. I mean, there must have been one already, but I just wanted to let you know.

So your daughter, if she hasn't started already, could be behind the times in which case we'd have to institute some kind of punishment. Maybe I shouldn't fix this car. Maybe. We'll let you know. Well, this is, we had a wonderful Honda Accord, 1988 car that was never, ever going to die until it got taken to one of those,

drive-in, get your oil changed, get your fluids topped in drive-out places. And apparently the 18-year-old kid who only worked there for two weeks before he got fired must have put in some strange fluid into the brake system because three weeks later the brake system is gone and we took it into a different drive-in real quick and get your muffler changed kind of a place. And they said there's a strange fluid in here and they showed us it and it's in a cup in the garage

because my husband never throws anything away. And they said the entire brake system needed to be repaired, replaced $1,400. I believe it. Well, we put the car in the garage for six months until the daughter came home from college a couple weeks ago, and the math classes must have paid off because she said there's three cars, there's three people.

And they were all set. Yeah. So we took it to the mechanic on the corner, like the real mechanic. And he said, you don't need to replace every single thing in this car. You just need to flush out the hoses and replace a master cylinder, and it will be $450. So we did that. And now people are telling us, no, at any moment,

minute, you could have no brakes, your kid is in jeopardy, you really have to replace every single part of the brake system. Yeah, I mean, first of all, the 18-year-old kid who made this thing as an agent. Exactly, and that operation, that company should pay for the $1,400 bill. Well, I called them, and they said, no way would we do anything like that. And I said, let me speak to the guy who worked on our car, and they said, well, we fired him. after two weeks, but not because he put stuff in the wrong hole in a car. Oh, no.

Well, I think if you went to court, you'd win hands down. Really? Absolutely. Absolutely. We've lost easier cases than that. So I think if you did take them to court or even the threat of going to court would make them pay up. Really?

So you think we should get tough, huh? I think you should get tough, but I think you should also replace everything. Really? Well, I think so, just to be on the safe side. On the other hand... Well, everything doesn't mean... I mean, you don't have to replace the rotors. No, let me tell you what they said everything should be.

The calipers, the hoses, the master cylinder, the wheel cylinders, the bleed the hydraulic systems, and resurface the rotors. Well, the rollers don't need to be resurfaced unless that's unrelated to the problem. The rotors are unrelated, but all the other stuff definitely should be done. Oh, boy. All the hoses, the calipers have to be replaced, and this guy who just replaced the master cylinder, that ain't enough. Well, it may be, he may have ascertained that the contamination didn't reach down to that, level. Okay. I would just change the wheel cylinders actually because they're real cheap. The calipers, I would certainly take apart. And if they look all right, then you can have it put back together or you

can... Just buy a new one for that one. Yeah. You know, but I think to be on the safe side, I would replace everything. But I would, the first step I would take is to go back to these guys and tell them after much consideration, you're going to sue their pants off. And you'd like them to pay. I can get mean if I have to. Good luck. Yes. Thank you guys. I love your show. Thanks for calling. Sure. Bye-bye.

I like the business. Well, he's not here anymore. We fired his little sorry, but... But not for that. But he was great. He was a great employee. We loved him for those two weeks. Hey, do you remember the probability puzzler that I introduced last week?

What's the probability of that? I mean, what is the chances that I would remember anything from last week? Is this possible to have negative probability? It is. We have to make an exception in your case. We'll be back in a... Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Clack the Tappert Brothers, and we're here to talk about cars, car repair, and the answer to last week's puzzler.

It had to do with probability, I understand. Probably. This was really geared for the kids in the audience, but since Berman had such a tough time with it, we said adults were eligible to work on it, too. And it is a probability problem. There's this baseball team that consists of 20 kids, and at the end of the season, the coach decides to have a barbecue at his house. And when the kids arrived, the coach says, listen, I know how your kids love your team and all that, but you can't wear your hats at the barbecue. So they all tossed their hats into a pile. And they fill their little faces with, you know, hot dogs and hamburgers and the like.

And at the end of the party, they all reach in, and at random, they grab a hat and each one puts a hat on his head. And the question is, what's the probability that 19 out of 20 of these kids gets his originally. hat. This is a classic case of a little knowledge being a dangerous thing. Yes. I have no idea how to solve that problem, but I do know that the answer is in fact, as difficult as it might be for 20 out of 20 to get their hats. It's even harder for 19 out of 20 to get the right hat. In fact, it's impossible. Because if 19 kids get the right hat, that leaves only one hat and one head. and it must belong to the wrong kid

the other kid right Louis just got it alright Louis if one kid's got the wrong hat there's got to be another kid with the wrong hat it's as simple as that exactly and that's why I got the answer so fast

because I didn't do any calculations because I don't know how to do any calculations anyway who's our winner Tommy oh winner the winner is David Crump from Penn Hills Pennsylvania and for having his correct answer selected at random Among all the correct answers that we got,

David will get a $25 gift certificate to the Car Talk, Shameless Commerce Division, on our website, with which he can get a copy of our father's CD why you should never listen to your father when it comes to cars, which is a perfect Father's Day gift, by the way, provided your father has already cut you out of the will.

Oh, there's no will. So, congratulations, David, baby. Anyway, we'll have a new, I guess they'd have to call it quasi-automotive. Thank you, Mr. Thank you, man. Quasi-foloric. I mean, it's folkloric automotive

has to do with physics. Ooh. Chickens. Really? And it'll come up. All of those things. The third half of today's show. So stay tuned for that.

In the meantime, you can call us and ask us any questions you'd like about anything. About anything, the number is 888 Car Talk. That's 888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. This is Kim calling from Nashville, Tennessee. Kim, how are you? Good.

Long time, no C. Real long time. Yeah, very. Never. I've only been to Boston once, and it was February, and I said I'll never go back. It was very way too cold. No kidding. No way and kidding.

Still that cold. Anyway, what's happening? All right, I have an 87 Toyota Tercell that has a pretty good. A.D. problem. Acceleration deficit disorder. Oh, really? And I've heard you rant on more than one occasion of the fact that you shouldn't use a high-octane fuel unless you have a high-performance engine. That's true. Well, we didn't say you shouldn't. We probably said you needn't. Well, yeah, that it would be throwing your money away. Well, and puts more pollutants into the atmosphere and, yeah. Okay. Well, then I, how do you explain then the fact that when I put

a high-octane fuel in this car as opposed to the cheap stuff, it seems to have a little bit more power and doesn't make as much engine noise. No, you're right. You are not imagining it. In fact, when you put the premium gas in, the thing is performing better, and it's performing better because your timing is off. Oh. And when your timing's off, if it's too, someone must have done this because you complained

about the lack of power. Yeah. So your mechanic. Someone advanced your timing. He said, I'll shut her up. You advance your timing five degrees. And you said, hey, not bad, except every time you accelerate it hard, the thing would ping. You'd get this like marbles on a coffee can noise.

Yeah, kind of. Yeah. Except that when you put the premium gas in, it doesn't do that. Because the premium gas has what's called a higher ignition point. And it has less of a tendency to knock and ping. and when you get smoother combustion, you get more power. So you can continue using the premium, which is going to cost you like 25 cents more a gallon. Right.

Or you can have the timing set correctly, and it won't ping, and you'll get almost as much power. And I would opt for that. Okay. And setting the timing on this thing is tricky. If I'm not mistaken, this has like three vacuum hoses going to the distributor. I don't know that. I'm making this up, but it doesn't. Tell me if it sounds good.

And they must be removed and plugged in order to time the thing. Okay. And it's very easy to put them on the... And it would be good to put them back where they came off of it. It would be... It's imperative. It's very easy to put them in the wrong place. Oh.

So make sure that the vacuum hoses on the distributor are on correctly. There's a little vacuum routing diagram under the hood, or there should be. Okay. And ask them to double check the timing because I bet you it's at least 10 degrees off. Cool. Yeah, a piece of cake. Thanks. With that 25 cents a gallon that you save, you'll be able to buy a new car like any day.

See you, Kim. Thanks. Bye, bye, bye. 1-8888-car talk. That's 888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hello, my name's Stan Mitchell. I'm calling from Las Vegas, Nevada.

Hi, Stan. How are you? From Lost Wages, Nevada. That's right. Uh-huh. What's shaking? My wife insists on turning the air conditioner on in the car when we're on the freeway going about 75 miles an hour. And I've always, I tell her to, that we might pop a belt

doing that. She thinks I'm nuts. And I always tell her to put the clutch in, let the engine go to idle, then turn the air conditioner on and then get on down the road. Am I nuts or what? Yeah. I am nuts. Yeah. Well, we got a letter about this, and some guy had the same opinion as you, that the things should not be engaged when, in fact, you're moving at high speed because you're taking a compressor, which is just sitting there, and all of a sudden you're asking it to spin at 3,000 RPM. Right.

Right. And it seems contrary to all the laws of nature. And it seems that it's something that's destined to ruin the compressor. So we agree with this fellow. And a week or two later, we get a nasty letter from the NAA National Conditioner Institute of America, some such thing. And they contend that, no, first of all, most compressors do cut in and out. In fact, many cars now have a wide open throttle cutout. So when you floor the gas to try to pass, in order to gain more power, it cuts out the compressor. And then what happens when

you're back off in the gas and the engine is still going at 4,000 RPM? It just kicks back in. And they contend that you're not going to do any damage of the compressor. Bear in mind, however, because they are the N-A-I-A, they are in the business of selling new and reconditioned of compressors. So, I mean, certainly to be on the safe side, it would be nice to engage the compressor only when the engine is turning slowly. Right. But I think in the giant scheme of things, I wouldn't be too worried about it.

My concern was popping a belt out in the middle of nowhere. Well, I mean, the truth is, I think theoretically what you say is correct. on the other hand, it may have such insignificance, such a small probability of happening, because don't forget, nobody else on the planet, except you and the guy who wrote to us 10 years ago, has this theory. Everybody else, the other 180 million drivers,

are just flipping the thing on whenever they feel like it. That's hot. Turn on the AC, will you, I'm dying in here. And none of their serpentine belts have jumped broken or done anything, nor have their compressors broken for the, most part. And so the likelihood of it really doing any damage is so small as to be not worth arguing with your wife about. I mean, with a buddy you can argue about stuff like this. But not with your wife. And you will have all kinds of discussion about the theories and forces, but not with your wife. Well, see, guys tend to choose battles like this with their wives because

they think they can bamboozle them. Yeah. With things like F equals M.A. If you throw a few equations around and your wife says, I give up, I don't take that. Whatever you want to do, hon, you just do it. Well, she's not doing it anyways. No, right? Well, she's not going to. In fact, worse than that, when you're on in the car,

she's turning it on, off, on, off, on off. Exactly. Yeah, so don't worry about it. And don't worry. It should always carry an extra serpentine belt with you. Just to be on the safe side. It's unlikely that it's going to do any noticeable damage to anything. Very unlikely.

Although, theoretically possible, but you don't want to be theoretically right. It's not worth it. All right. It's no fun. Yeah. Exactly. Ask those pawns and Fleischmen guys. See you, Stan.

Okay, thank you. Thanks for calling, Stan. Bye-bye. Bye, bye, bye. All right, it's time to head off to Camp Coffee Cup for a minute while we give our stations a chance to do some business. You mean this is where they thank the people who sponsor the show and all that stuff. Is that right now? Well, no, this is where they call them and personally apologize.

We'll be right back. Ha! back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, click and collect the Tapper Brothers, and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and the new puzzler. Quasi automotive involves chickens is folkloric. That's what

you've said. I said that. You said that just moved. What was I thinking? In the first half of the show, or the second half. Not in the third half, because this is the third half. Oh, and this is the time we're supposed to do the puzzle. This is the time you're supposed to come up with it. Here it is. Go ahead. You remember the story, the bridge

of San Luis Ray. Man. Thornton Wilder. Oh, the first chapter of that book was maybe the best writing I have ever come across. Went downhill fast after that, and so did the people on the bridge. Chapter two stunk. Well, this story is the bridge of Tom and Ray. Yeah.

In Borneo, there is a bridge connecting two islands constructed of bamboo lashed together with hemp. And it's been used for hundreds of years. Yeah. pedestrian traffic, vehicular traffic. Vehicular? Both directions. Really? Except the bridge has a weight limit.

It's four miles long this bridge. It has a weight limit of 20 tons. So one day a truck pulls up to the bridge ready to cross and the official stop him. They say, we have to weigh you. And so he drives onto the scale. And the truck is full of, I think, pigs, sedated pigs. Oh, this is not the old chickens flying in the truck thing. sedated pigs

sedated pigs pig iron and dead chickens got it got it yeah and with the driver on the scale in the truck

with all the he weighs exactly 20 tons so the guy at the other end gets the signal and he weighs off traffic everyone has to stop and the bridge is emptied

and this guy is allowed to drive over the bridge you got it he's just making it 20 tons to right at the limit You with me? I'm with you.

Yeah. Yeah. As he drives across... I know he's not going to make it. Oh, no, he's done for it. As he drives across, a sparrow begins to follow alongside. No! No!

And begins to hover. Oh, man! Over the truck. Yeah. Flapping its wings. So he's halfway across the bridge, and there's the sparrow. Yeah. Flying alongside the truck and now over the truck.

And just when he's a little beyond the halfway point, The sparrow lands on the truck. Oh, man. Bummer! What does the driver do to keep the truck and the sedated pigs and the dead chickens from plunging into the abyss? The abyss. Now, if you think you know the answer, write it on a postcard or a 500-gallon Redwood Hot Tub with micromasaging jets and hydraulic butt scratches and sand it to. Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3,500, Harvard Square, Cambridge.

Our Fair City. Matt, 022-38. Or you can email your answer from the Car Talk section of Cars.com. You'd like to talk to us, the number is 1-888-Car talk. That's 8-8-2-75. 78-2. That's a nice one. Hello, you're on Carat-Tock.

Hi, this is Kara. I call you from Monroe, Michigan. Kara, like C-A-R-A? K-A-R-A-R-A. That's what I thought. That's close. From where? I'm calling you from Monroe, Michigan, but my car is in South Carolina.

Oh, broke down, eh? Where in South Carolina are you from? I live in Columbia, South Carolina. Columbia, you know, that's an important city there in South Carolina. They make the bicycles there. They make... I had a Columbia bicycle when I was a kid, yeah. So did I.

I didn't know that. It was the same bike, you knucklehead. I wondered where that bike went. So, Carol, what's up? Well, I actually work in Clinton, South Carolina, and I was giving final exams at Presbyterian College where I work, and I went to go get gas on an empty tank. Yeah. And I filled it up with what I thought was gas, but it actually was water. Huh?

Really? It was water in the pump. 100% pure water. Really? Yeah, so I didn't get very far. I got across the street. Did you get back to the gas station and explain this to them? Well, no, actually, they found me.

They called around town. It was a small town. They called around and tried to find out the car that was taken that wasn't working very well. I don't know how they found me. And what town was this? This is Clinton, South Carolina. No kidding. So they tracked you down because they knew that they had a problem.

Yes. Boy, you know, that wouldn't happen in Boston. Oh, for you? I'll tell you the first thing that would happen is they would try to hide the fact and deny. Yeah. They came back with pails of water in your hand. They said, look, I just drained these out of. my tank. I was here five minutes ago. They'd say, oh, no, that's impossible. And the reason

they do that is they do that stuff is they're afraid of the consequences. Yes. But in Clinton, South Carolina, they are honest people. Yes, they are. That's wonderful. It is wonderful. And it basically says that big cities have ruined the world. Yeah. Is that it? And I'm convinced that big is bad no matter what, unless you're an elephant. And that's the only case where big seems to be okay, for the most part. But everything else that's big is probably not good. Except for the guy that has to walk behind the other. Well, you're going to have a big show.

So why are you calling us, Kara? Well, actually, my car is running again. And, you know, my mechanic says he thinks it's great. It's not going to cause me any problems. Then my father, my father-in-law, my brothers, their friends, I'll say, oh, no, it's not going to last now because there's going to be corrosion in the cylinders and grit. I've heard this word grit, too, that there's grit in there somehow. Well, we have a CD, which you maybe have heard of.

It's called Why You Should Never Listen to Your Father when it comes to Congress. Or other guys. And this is one of those situations. Okay. Yeah, grit. I mean, when you drink water, do you have grit stuck in your teeth? No. I mean, how bad is the water in Clinton, South Carolina?

Well, yeah. Come on. So the grit story is bogus. Okay. And what were the other stories? The corrosion in the cylinders. Corrosion in the cylinders. No.

No. Well, you should point out to them that water is the primary product of combustion. There's water in there all the time. And don't forget what's going on in there. Explosions. Combustion. How long could the water be there if there was water? Turns in the steam, it comes out the tailpipe.

And the fact of the matter is that there are many engines which actually add water by water injection to the combustion process to improve it. Oh, okay. However, it is bad to have water, for example, going through your injector nozzles. Yeah. And I would hope that when they drained out the tank, they flushed out the lines. They probably, as a precaution, put in a bunch of dry gas, which is alcohol, which absorbs the water. And if you didn't drive the car for days and days with this water in the tank... No, I got across the street.

Then, you did... I was able to cross the street. You cross the street, and it conced out? Yeah, and then it just quietly died. She was on fumes. That was good. Yeah. So all these guys who gave you advice, they're all full of all.

Yeah, I don't think you did me. Every single one of them. Including dad. Yeah, and maybe including us, too, because we're guys too. We're guys, too, so what do we know? Okay. But wait a minute. Before you go, what do you teach it there at Presbyterian College?

I teach math there. Math? Yes. What kind of math? Oh, you know, calculus, this and that, algebra. So these are all kids who now will be able to calculate the area under a current. Yes. And no, the slope and any point on that curve.

Yes. And when will they ever be using that, Kara? Well, if you need to know the instantaneous velocity versus the average velocity, you would need some... That's important. You know, my brother needs to know that when he drives his MG, because his average velocity is about zero, but he has been known to have a positive instantaneous velocity from time to time. Yes. But, Kara, if we, like, asked, just a rough random sample of like a million people.

when the last time was that they needed to know the instantaneous slope. What would those million people say? Huh? You're stealing their money and teaching them junk that they'll never use. But she has a job. Well, back to Presbyterian College and tell them that you quit. Resign. I'd resign tomorrow.

That's right. Well, you can make a Ford statement. I know that the stuff I'm teaching is complete bull, and people will never use it, but I just can't stop. Well, now I probably won't get hired back. Well, you won't. But see, the trouble is if you don't take the job, some other bozo with a P.A.

So you might as well keep it. You might as well keep it. And keep teaching that area under the curve. You never know when you're going to bump into it. Yes, somebody's got to do it. Good God. What's with the American education system? Are we a bunch of morons to allow this to happen?

Come on. I'm fed up with it. Fed up, I'm telling you. He didn't take his pills this morning, but he'll be all right. I'm not taking it anymore. I'm not going to take the pills anymore. You need to settle down. Yes, you are?

Tommy, or those guys with that funny jacket will be coming at the sea you again. They won't be sold ice cream. No, they won't. See you, Kara. All right, thanks a lot. Thanks very much. Bye-bye. God.

Calculus. Well, it's happened again. You've squanded at another perfectly good hour listening to Car Talk. Our esteemed producer is Doug the subway fugitive, not a slave to fashion Berman. Wait a minute. We need a... Oh, we need... We need a better name than that.

Yeah. How about cute, cute, cute? We're social producers with frau, Catherine Pickle, Fenelosa, and Louis Croton the Barbarian. Our engineer is George Hicks. Our senior web lackey is Doug the Old Gray Mayor, and our technical, spiritual and menu advisor. Just back from the California Free Lunch Open is John Bugsy Lawler. Our public opinion pollster is Paul Murky of Merkey Research,

assisted by statistician Marge and Overa. Our customer care representative is Haywood Jabuzov. Our director of new product repair is Warren T. My foot in our shop foreman is Luke Busy. Our pseudonym consultant is Norm De Plum. Our dermatologist for teenagers is Don DePickett. Our commencement speaker is Gladys over with. Our self-esteem coach is Mia Culp.

Our staff tax repair is Lion Little. Our emergency room physician is Henrietta Bad Clam. Our divorce attorney is Carmine, not yours, and our Russian chauffeur is peak off and drop-off. And, of course, our seat cushion tester is Mike Easter. Our Chief Counsel from the Lawroom of Dewey, Sheeeman How is Uly Lewis Dewee, known to the Grouchy meter maids in Harvard Square is Ui-Louis-Doui. Thanks so much for listening.

We're clicking clack to Tappert Brothers. And remember, don't drive like my brother. And remember this. Don't drive like my brother. We'll be back next week. Bye-bye. And now we have the great pleasure of having in the studio, Mr. Vinnie Gumbott's Car Talk Plaza's Chief Mechanic. Hey, thank you very much.

Now, if you're out there, want to copy of this here show, which is number 24. You can get one on the web. Just head on all. over to the online store, aka Shameless Commerce Division, at the Car Talk section at Cars.com. And what if someone wanted something else? I mean, like the Father's Day CD, why you should never listen to your father when it comes to cars?

I mean, would they go to that same site then? No, you dope. You go to www. Make Money Stuff and Envelopes at Home.com. Of course you go to the same site, the Car Talk section at Cars.com, or you order by phone by calling 888 car junk.

Thank you very much, Vinnie. That was very focused. Hey, focused on this, will you? Car Talk is a production of Dewee Cheatham and Howe and WBUR in Boston. And even though Madeline Albright wonders whether the Alien and Siddition Acts could be reinstated. Whenever she hears us say it, this is NPR

National Public Radio.