The Best of Car Talk - #2637: Meet the Staff

Episode Date: May 9, 2026

It’s not often we get a call from members of the Car Talk staff during the show. And you’d expect that call to be from our chauffeur Pickov Andropov or perhaps our automotive seat tester, Mike Easter, but instead we hear from Pat McCann of our HR department. Somebody’s in trouble on this episode of the Best of Car Talk. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tappert Brothers. And we're broadcasting this week from you, Lewis Dewey's office here at Dewey Cheatham and How. And I assume there's some legal news to report, huh? You figure? Otherwise, why would be handcuffed to the deposition table? Oh, you think it's bad to be a handcuffed to the deposition table? Wait till I tell you? Here's the story. We both, perhaps, but maybe more eyed than you, have been troubled, let's say, by the deplorable.

condition on the roads. The behavior of people on the road. Yes, it has to do with the potholes and mostly. It has to do with the way people drive. And I don't know how it is in other cities, but here in Boston, it's absolutely, it's really unacceptable. I mean, have you ever driven on Route 128 during rush hour? There isn't a single vehicle that's going under 65 and the speed limit is 55 for most of Route 128. There isn't a single person in the car who is not violating the tailgating law. I mean, the other day, for example, I was driving down 128, and there was a truck right on my tail. I was in the slowest lane, and I was...

Duh. No, I mean, the speed limit was 55. I was doing 60. And this guy right on my tail for miles and miles. He could have passed me if he wanted to. Not only was he on my tail, he's blowing the horn at me. Now there's a car in front of me. Because your car was on fire probably.

He's trying to save your life. He's gesturing and blowing the horn at me. I mean, it was absolutely, a couple of times he attempted to pass me in the breakdown lane. I mean, the behavior of people is absolutely ridiculous. My question has always been, why are we allowing this to continue to happen, to happen and will it ever, where's it going to end? I got it. Yeah?

I got it. No, I know what you're, I know what the thrust of this is. Go ahead. Oh. Vigilanteism. No. No, I've given up on vigilanteism. Because I figure, why should we put our lives in danger? We're already paying people to put their lives in danger.

We don't have the authority to do anything. But we're already paying people who do have the authority. We call them the state police. And it is clear to me. that the state police are purposely becoming invisible during rush hour. They hide. In your opinion? Well, have you ever seen a state police call?

Oh, yeah. In fact, I've been pulled over a couple of times. Not during rush hour. Oh, no, because it's dinner time. Exactly. Or doot time. Whatever, whatever it is. Hey, they're going to eat too.

They do. The problem is... And first of all, there are hardly any tickets to be given out at rush hour because traffic is moving too slowly. They know when the time to give out tickets is. No, traffic is not moving slowly. They don't know what time. They give out tickets at 3 o'clock in the morning when no one knows they're giving out tickets.

Got what? It was at 3 o'clock in the line. I mean, you well know that all you can drive on 128 any time of the day almost during daylight hours. Yeah, yeah. And you can find probably 100,000 people who are violating the law, but there's not a single policeman out there. Here's the deal. I am organizing a class action suit against the state police. of Massachusetts. God help us. And so we're trying to get several thousand people who will sign up

as part of the class action suit. And of course, we unfortunately will need a lawyer to help us do it. Have you got any volunteers yet? None. I didn't think so. No lawyers. So if you would like to be part, if you agree with this, that the police are in some part, they don't have to be primarily responsible, but in some part through their negligence, responsible for your high blood pressure for the fact that you lost your driver's license for whatever it is. Hemorrhoids? Hemeroidal flare-ups, all of those things, because you drove on Route 128 or any other of the roads around the Boston area,

you can sign up for the class section suit, the Car Talk section of Cars.com. Click on Wanted, Dead or Alive. Do you take your pills this morning? No, I'm not taking the pills anymore, doctor. In the meantime, we'll try to talk about some simpler things, like Volvo computers or maybe Mercedes automatic transmission. Let's do that.

The numbers 1-888-car talk. That's 888-288-28-8-2-25. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Nancy. Hi, Nancy. Where you're from? Well, I'm calling you from Irisburg, Vermont, but I actually live in our fair city. Really?

Yeah. Irisburg, Vermont. So you're vacationing in Irisburg? Yes. Great. What's it near, Irisburg? Well, it's about 20 miles from Canada. Oh, it used to be Iceburg, Vermont.

They didn't get any tourists. so he changed the name. And that's why it's nice to go to. Which fair city are you from, Boston? Cambridge. Cambridge. Yeah. What can we do for you, Nancy, Nancy.

Okay. Well, this is a story. I have a 1990 Ford Festiva, which I love. On June 30th, I was driving back from Worcester, and when I got to the toll booth on the turnpike, I stepped on the brakes, and the pedal went down to the floor. Not good. And so I had about one thing.

second to decide, should I pull over and get towed, or should I keep driving and go to the garage where I had all the brakes done two years ago? Uh-huh. You were, excuse me? You were going to continue with no brakes. Well, I see, when I pumped the brakes, the car actually stopped. Of course, got it. Right.

And you were encouraged by that. Yeah. It's interesting, when people have a choice between possible death. Or spending money. Or inconvenience. They will choose possible death. Yeah, well, I figured I wouldn't have to step on the break again until I was off the highway. Okay, so don't keep us in suspense here.

Right. Did you make it or did you get killed? No, I made it. Oh. I had a very exciting half a mile from the exit to where the garage is and walked into the garage, and I was shaking. And I said, you know, this is what just happened. I don't have an appointment, but, you know, you guys did do my breaks two years ago. and, you know.

So you're going to hold the responsible for what they did. That's right. Why not? Why not? Someone's got to be the blame. So they said, no problem, no problem. You know, we can look at it about 10 minutes. So I sat down, and about 20 or 25 minutes later, they called my name, and I went up

and they said, well, you know, we took it out, and there's no problem with your break. It wasn't doing what you said it was doing. Yeah. So here are your keys. So that was six weeks ago. And it hasn't done it since. Well, I've been afraid. I've only driven 200 months.

since then. Okay. So how did you get to iceberg, Vermont? In a different car. Of course. Good thinking. Good thinking is right. So anyway, my question is, am I nuts to be driving this?

And what should I do? Take it to a different place. Gee. Okay. I heard a little voice in my earphones. Yeah? It must have been Dougie saying, answer the question. Now, that was your conscience.

We've been on vacation for a while, Nancy. You may have figured that out, and we're a little rusty. But I do have an answer. Yeah, so do I. Okay. What happened was your brakes overheated. And when they overheated, the brake fluid began to boil. And it was probably a hot day when you were driving the car.

You had been driving it on the pike for a while. And whatever was stuck and caused the brakes to overheat and thus the fluid to boil got unstuck and cooled off everything when you got into the gas station. by the time you got it. Or it didn't get unstuck, but everything cooled off at least. Everything cooled off enough so that the brake fluid was no longer boiling, and the brakes were restored to their previous splendor. So you either have a stuck caliper or a stuck emergency brake,

which can also cause this, or a clogged brake hose. Uh-huh. There's a brake hose that's clogged either because the rubber has deteriorated and inhibited the return flow of fluid after you've applied the brakes. Uh-huh. The other possibly, of course, is the master cylinder is no good. I should mention that. Right.

So they should check those things, and one of those things is going to come out positive. Even though the brakes have been working now. Yeah. The reason they were working now is you haven't driven it far enough and hard enough to have the thing overheat. Yeah, I mean, if you want some excitement and you want to really prove to yourself that we're right, just go back to Worcester. Better than that. Drive up Mount Washington. Put your affairs in order before you do it.

So, I mean, it will probably be okay driving around. town. But who knows when it's going to do it. Right. But it was foolish of them to have sent you out the door, especially when you told them that the brakes had failed. I mean, what did they think was going to happen? And that's why I said the first thing you have to do is go someplace else. Okay. Say it, Nancy. Bye, thank. Bye-bye. Good luck. Tommy, do you remember, you put your thinking cap on last week's puzzler? Yeah. It had something to do with smoke ham, euro dollars, and scientific notation. No, that was Bugsy's expense report from last week's luncheon.

It was a trick question. The Puzzler was on vacation last week. Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Clack the Tappert Brothers, and we're here to talk about cars, of course, car repair, of course, and da, hot off the presses, the results of our most recent car ownership survey. Yeah. We had over 95,000 people respond to the survey, and now we have results, and some of them are extraordinarily interesting. like to hear something? Are you kidding? I can't wait. Would you like to have a couple of little teasers? Yes. Get this. We ask people, if you had it, this is a great question. If you had it to do all over. Who came up with this question? I didn't. That's okay. If you had it to do all over again, would you buy the same car? Is that a

good question? Yeah, yeah. You know which car comes out on top the highest percentage of people who said yes to that? I happen to know because I looked at the data. Oh, you looked. Yeah. And I'll tell you one thing right now. It's phony! It's been docked it up, I don't believe it. Number one was Porsche. Yeah. Isn't it Porsche? No.

Porsche. Well, the car company is Porsche. But the doctor... Oh, the lady with the scales. But doctor. Doctor Porsche. Porsche. That's how he wanted to pronounce it.

Oh, that's a mask of Porsche. Porsche. And the top five in that list of a likelihood of buying the same car again are Porsche, Honda, Honda, Lexus, Torch. Toyota and Saab. Got it. Okay, the other question we asked is how satisfied are you with the dealer experience of going to the dealer specifically to get your car fixed?

That if the Porsche guys were that happy with the car, they'd be happy also with the dealer. Well, you would think that. That would be one component of their happiness. And it turns out that Porsche came in almost dead last for satisfaction with the dealer. People love the car. And yet they would buy the car again. In spite of that. In spite of that.

Boy, it must be a spectacular car. It must be a spectacular car. Why don't you own one? Huh? They cost money, don't they? But you know, who's most satisfied with the dealerships? Which dealerships are the most satisfied? I happen to.

Yeah, well, it was the same in the last report. Saturn. And the top five in this list are Saturn, Lexus, Infinity, Accura, and Saab again. Well, Saab is a double whammy, and so is Accura. Well, there are... So is infinity. There are, in fact, six cars, which are on what we call the double top ten list. People love the car, and they love the dealership.

And if you want to find out if your car is on it, or if your car is on, as we call it, the Fegal roster, you can go to the Car Talk section of Cars.com, and we've got some exciting stuff there. Well, I'm impressed. Good work, Tommy. All right. 1-888-8-8-8-2-7-8-25. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Ellen from Mountain Lakes, New Jersey. Hi, Ellen from Mountain Lake, New Jersey.

Mountain Lakes. Uh-huh. Mountain Lakes is a kind of upscale community, is it not? Yes, but I live on the wrong side of the track. The wrong side of the track. Well, we'll see if we can help you. What that, the lady? That's good.

The wrong side is better. So what's cooking? Well, you know, if I was on the right side of the tracks, I'd be calling you about the the new Audi I purchased for my 16-year-old who got his learner's permit, but instead I'm calling you about the 1990, Honda Accord that I purchased for them. A 16-year-old boy? 16-year-old boy, yes.

Okay. So my daughter, who is home from college, took it on as her car for the summer. And she took it out. Oh, the first time, the second time, something like that. And she came out of her job, went to start the car, and it would not start. Okay.

Okay. So she turned the key and nothing happened? No, turn the key, and it did everything short of start. the engine. Oh. We wound up having to have the car toad to our mechanic who took a look at it the next day, tried to get it not to start, of course. and he did successfully get the car not to start. And then after a while it started, and then I finally got it to my mechanic.

Got it. Okay. Got it. We're with you, Alan. All right. And you don't know how the first mechanic got it to start. He didn't. It just decided to start after about the hour.

It decided to. It decided to. You know cars can think like that. Oh, yes. Okay. Okay. So he went in, couldn't find anything wrong directly. So he did something that he called bleeding the fuel system.

What this is, I don't know. But for the next. I'm working on it myself. Okay. I said, gee, did you take all the gas out of the tank? He said, no, no, no. Not one of this is. At any rate, the next few days it started like a champ in all circumstances, which was really good.

But the next hot day that it was left out... I was just going to ask you if it was a hot day. It was a hot day. It all fits together. Yep. With what does it fit together with? With all the different theories that you were... Oh, oh, oh, it fits together, Alan.

Don't worry. Don't worry. I'm pulling all the strings together now. Yeah. Good. So it worked fine for a while. Uh-huh. And now it doesn't.

Otherwise, why would you be calling us? Exactly. And, you know, it's not happening as frequently as it did before. No, because it's been raining every day for the past month and a half. Yes. You've been in the area. It's been a great summer, isn't it? Yeah, it has been a very interesting time.

Don't get me started. We'll get my brother started. His two weeks of vacation. At the shore, so to speak, had 12 out of 14 days of rain. And I slept those days. Not only rain, but the temperatures plummeted. And he called me one morning from his beachside, what's that word?

Retreat, retreat, that's the word. And he said it was 47 degrees at my house this morning. and I can't tell you what else he said. Not on the air. I keep hearing that voice. Answer the question. There are no fish under the ice. You want the answer?

Yes, I do, actually. All right, well, I'll give you the answer because Dougie's hassling us. He's yelling at us to give you the answer. Tucked up under the dashboard in this car and all Honda's of recent vintage is something called the fuel pump relay. And in hot weather, these relays fail. Okay. And everything fits together the fact that they couldn't figure, I don't know what this bleeding of the fuel system was.

It may go back to ancient Egyptian times when they board holes in people's heads to let the brain worms out. It's like the leeches. I'll do the research and call you back. But in fact, what he discovered was that there was no fuel pump pressure. And there was no fuel pump pressure because the relay was not energizing the electric fuel pump, which is inside the tank. and what he needs to do or someone needs to do is buy a new relay and plug it in. It's as simple as simple as that. The relay costs about 30 bucks or 40 bucks.

I don't know what it costs, but it's relatively cheap. And that's going to solve the problem. Okay. I'm really glad to hear this. Isn't it good? Isn't it wonderful? Yes. Yeah.

All right. Oh, that's it. Bye. Thank you very much. Hey, have a wonderful time in Mountain Lakes. Oh, thank you very much. See, Alice. Bye-bye.

2827-82-85. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hello. My name is Abhijit, and I'm calling from Augusta, Georgia. Abhijit? Yes, that's correct. A-B. H-I-J-I-T.

So you were obviously born in Georgia. No, I was born in... You have that classic southern accent. No, I don't. I guess I have an Indian accent. Ah, that's what it is. So what's cooking? I drive 1993 Mazda.

6-6-6-D-X, which I had purchased used. Yep. It has 94,000 miles on the odometer. Yeah. For the past 3,000, 4,000 miles, I have been noticing that what used to be a very smooth-sounding engine note has started fluttering. Makes a fluttering noise when I go from 35 to 55 miles per hour, and I may have to mimic the sound for you. Oh, I'm ready.

All right. It begins as a very smooth note. but then at about 35, it starts going. Oh, I love it. Yeah, and then after about 55, I guess these pulsations kind of come in so quickly that it again sounds like it's one single note. And could you feel any vibration in the car?

I can notice the vibration when I'm idling. And where do you think the noise is coming from? I have a feeling it's coming in from the engine compartment. and it's definitely not the wheels and it's nothing in the car is loose so that it may shudder. Okay, it has no metallic

tone to it. Is that correct? No, it doesn't have a metallic tone. Does it sound more like like air? Possibly, possibly. Have you ever worked in the intelligence community? America wants to know,

I think. He can't tell you. If he did, would he tell you he'd have to kill you. All right, I withdraw the question then. Why did you ask? Oh, it's a code? He's nuts. He's flicked up.

This may be trying to communicate. The car is. All right. Well, it sounds to me, I mean, the reason I asked you about air, it sounds to me like an exhaust system noise. You know, meat. Of fact, what did I have written right here? Looks like Papachino's phone number.

Well, right under that. I have written down exhaust leak. That's what it sounds like to me, too. Someone suggested a crankshaft dampener, perhaps, or the hydraulic lash adjusters, but I'm not sure. Well, you would... It doesn't sound like either of those. You would hear those things if you revved up the engine

without the thing being under load. In other words, without the car moving. If you had bad lash adjusters or if you had a bad vibration damper, those things would manifest themselves even with the car not moving. Well, so would an exhaust leak. So with an exhaust leak if you plug the tailpipe. So I think you have an exhaust leak. I do too.

But in the absence of that, when that fails... And before we get off of that one, plugging up the tailpipe is a way to exacerbate the problem so that you will more likely hear the noise. So if you had an assistant or the mechanic that you take it to, put the car in neutral and run it and have someone plug up the tailpipe. Okay. And you may even have to try to rev it up a little bit. And the noise should, if it is an exhaust leak, it will be there.

I see. But when it turns out not to be that, the other three things I'd look at would be a bad wheelbearing, a bad tire. Uh-huh. Or a bad axle. I see. Wheelbearing? Yeah. Really?

Those are they? You think so? I'm sticking with it. Oh. Good luck, Abushita. Thank you very much. Thanks for your call. Thanks for calling.

Bye-bye. Okay, Tommy, I can see that the stress of always being wrong is finally getting to you. It's not the stress, man. It's the one. Not me. Well, look, you're in luck.

It's time for a short break, so I can guarantee you you won't be wrong for the next 60 seconds. Woof! Ha! We're back. You're listening to Car Talk

with us, click and clack the Tappert Brothers, and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and the mail. Yeah, mail. M-A-I-L. Okay, man. Here it is. I mean, we have posed this question. You know, some things are so hard for us to understand, especially us.

But do you recall that we have addressed the issue of where there was the 60s, everyone knows about the 60s, and there was the 80s, and the 90s, and here we are at the year 2000, and we don't know what to do about that. And here is the answer, and it's from Dan Hartford. Oh, I know his brother John. No, that was Johnny Hancock. Dear Click and Clark, I believe it was on your show that the question was posed as to what to call this decade.

Prior decades were easy. They were the 60s or 70s, et cetera. But what do we call the— Let's not forget the 50s. The 50s. I would never forget the 50s. Yeah. So don't forget the 20s.

In fact, you owe me a couple of 20s. But what do we call the current decade? Yes, we posed that very question because we had the problem. And Dan has the answer. He says, this decade is made up of two-digit years starting with zero. Zero is what? Nothing. Zero.

According to my dictionary, the word naught. Ooh! Ooh! Is defined as the figure zero. I got it. So what is it? You got it? What is it?

The naughties. The naughties. Of course. Isn't it great. Frank, you're going to go down in history. Not me, Dan Hartford. No, don't mention his name. It's your idea.

Come on, steal the idea. He's from Palo Alto, California. Dan, you're a genius. You may be out of work, you may be destitute. Your wife may have left you, but this will put you down in history. And the dog won't play with you unless it's a pork chop tauter on your neck, but Dan, you're all right in our book. Look, if you have something to share with my brother, and as you can see, it doesn't take much to get him excited. You can either drop it off at the Leavenworth Visitors Center or.

or the intensive care unit at Cambridge City Hospital. Because he's going to be there pretty soon. Or mail the stuff to Car Talk Plaza, Box 3,500, Harvard Square, Cambridge. Our Fair City. Matt 02238. Of course, you can also email him stuff from the Car Talk section of Cars.com. In the meantime, you can call him and me at the following number, 18888 Car Talk. That's 888-227-8-8-25-a-lawyer-on-car talk.

Hello, my name is Pat McCann from North Carolina, New York. Pat, you're on our staff. I know. You're a sexual harassment counselor. Yes, you, man. Well, my younger son, Andrew, has a friend with the same name. Yeah. So you're two of vying for the same position.

Yeah, he thinks he's the sexual harassment director. And he's doing a good job of it. So what's shaking, Pat? Hey, I wanted to catch up with you guys and talk about my 95 Chevy Luminat AP. And I'm notorious for running out of gas. But lately I've been running out of gas and it's just not my fault. Three or four times in the last year, typically on a long trip and highway driving, I'll run out of gas and there's still gas left in the tank.

How do you know that? When I fill it up, the first time it took some. 16 gallons, and it's a 20-gallon tank. And the second time, it took about 15 gallons. So I had five gallons left. So how did you conclude that you're out of gas? Stop running. Yes.

And, you know, you put your foot in the gas pedal. But how do you know it didn't stop running because the stars were wrong? I mean, why do you blame it on the gas? Well, being one who has run out of gas before, you get to know that feeling. Yeah. And once you, as long as what do you do? You get towed or you go with a five-gallon can somewhere and you get gas. You pour in a couple of gallons of gas and it starts right up.

Yes, and then I drive to the gas station. Or sometimes, actually, if I just sit there long enough, after a while, it'll start right up and I can chuck my way at a half a mile. Ah! Uh-huh. Now, this is a two-part problem. The first part. So wait a minute. Pat.

Pat McCann. Yeah. So would you accept that you're not really justifiable in the, you're not really justifiable in, you're, blaming gas as the problem. So you could be running out of Spark. You could be running out of all kinds of things. You could be running out of steam.

But if you ran out of spark for whatever reason. But when I... But when you add gas, when you add gas, it starts, I understand that. But time always passes. So it may be time that's the problem.

Sometimes, I just happen to get lucky and it does this, you know, a mile from an exit. that's got a gas station, and I can almost coast there, and put gas in, fill it up, and get back in, and it's running. And then you can drive it, you can continue to drive for another couple of hundred miles. Another few hours. And it's all right, then. Yes.

And it's okay. I mean, the first half a tank, well, the first five-eighth of a tank now, it's good. But when I get down to that bottom part. All right, all right, we give. You're probably running out of gas. Thank you. Jeez. All right.

Take it easy on us, will you? Give a guy a break. And I'm wondering. Oh, and we're just out of time. Have you asked anyone to look at this? I've looked at it. You've looked at it. That didn't do much good.

I pulled the tank up. I looked at the tank. It was still there. When was the last time, for example, that you, change your fuel filter? I had a major tune-up at about 60,000 miles, so 40,000 miles ago. Well, you could have a clogged fuel filter. That could be a lot of, wow, wow.

You could easily have a weak fuel pump. Have you ever noticed if you're driving the truck at any speed, but under quiet conditions with the windows rolled up, for example, that you can hear a humming noise coming from the back of the vehicle that's not coincident even with its moving? In other words, it was... Very faint. Like,

Mm-hmm. Same tone. No. You know, fun. Do you ever drive on unimproved roads? Yeah. Well, here's a guess. Yeah, go for.

Nice question, man. Nice question. Yeah, too bad the answer wasn't good, but the question's good. It's a possibility. that you have struck the gas tank with something like a boulder or a tree stump or a raccoon or some such things that has stove it in. Is that the right tense of the verb? Stoven. Stoving it in.

Pushed in the bottom of the tank. So that, in fact, when the tank is an eighth full, you're not really getting the gas out because the area where the pickup is has been pushed up because of some impact. Ooh. Ooh. So it may be that, in fact, that's happened, and that would explain everything. And then I just have to learn to live with it and fill up at a half a tank. Well, you could live with it.

But at the very least, I would have someone look at the tank to see if this, in fact, is true, and then you can send us the Genius Award. Yeah. If it isn't true, then you can choose to live with it. But before you do that, you should change the fuel filter. Okay. With 40,000 miles, it might be dirty. And you should ask them to check the fuel pump pressure.

Okay. Pat, we wish you the very, very best. Well, listen, guys, thanks a lot. All right. Thank you for your help. Take care. Thanks for calling. Bye-bye.

1-8-88-car talk. That's 888-225. A lawyer on car talk. Hello, you're on car talk. Hello. My name is Alice, and I'm calling from Hastings on Hudson, New York. Hi, Alice. Hastings on Hudson.

I really don't have a car problem. I have a family squabble problem that's related to cars. Yeah. The problem is that I'm very lucky. I have a daughter and her little family living on the other side of town from where we live. And I like to go to her house on, I call it the low road, because there's a big hill between my house and her house. And my husband says it's so much longer to go that way.

I should just go up and over the hill. Well, I've clocked the distances, the distance from my house to her house on the low road, It's two miles. And if I go up and over the hill, it's a mile and a half. Yeah. And, you know, every time I go my way, you know, you take it so much longer. And if I go his way, I just feel it's more of a strain on the car, and I use up more gas climbing up this hill.

Well, we've got the altitude on the hill. I don't know if you need all these numbers. How long have you been retired, Alice? How long have you been retired, Alice? I'm not retired yet, but he is. He is. He is. Okay.

I know one of you had to be retired. Yeah. Okay. Okay, go ahead. Give me the data. The altitude. I live at 170 feet. My daughter is also at 170 feet high.

And the hill between us is at 320. Yeah. And I don't know which way we use more gas. And I know which way you use more time because my way, have to go through a traffic light. Well, you're always longer, both in distance and in time. Yeah. It's shorter in so far as you don't have to climb an unnecessary hill.

Yeah. He says, well, you go on the other side, you go down again. There you go. And so whatever you've spent going up, you regain going down. Is he an engineer? Yes. Doesn't this sound like an engineer? Of course.

It's a classic engineering approach, which is entirely wrong. He's listening? I hope he's not listening. Well, actually, he is. Because we're going to dump all over. I'm not so sure, Alice. I mean, theoretically, he is exactly, of course, right, theoretically. Okay. That the energy, I mean, if this were, you know, if this were a physics problem when he went to school and he did a physics problem.

Yeah. And the energy expended going up would be regained. Almost except for losses from friction. Right, potential energy. Going down. A potential energy, kinetic energy, all that stuff would be a great theory. That's assuming that you didn't mind if you were going 85 miles an hour when you hit the bottom of the hill. Which you don't.

And you do mind, and that's why you have to use the brakes. It's the same as if you were walking. Which way would you walk? I would walk a long way because it's so much easier. You ain't kidding. Ask him if he had to walk. Would he walk up over? the hill and down?

Well, a better question is, would your bicycle? Oh, your bicycle, you'd go the long way. Absolutely. Every time. Every time. Every time. There is no formula for how much gas you use going up the hill. Sure, I mean, we could calculate all of that.

I doubt we could calculate it. Somebody could calculate it. The husband probably could calculate it. He's got nothing to do. He's retired. And that's exactly what gets him into trouble. Because he could make all those calculations and the answer would be, so what?

See, what you can't take advantage of, as you pointed out at the beginning of the call, is you can't take advantage of the potential energy that you gain by getting to the top of the hill. Yeah. Because you must slow down. You have to break. You have to break. So that being the case, I think I would always opt for the roundabout way, especially considering the fact that you only are climbing an additional 20 feet in elevation.

Uh-huh. And it's only costing you a half a mile. Oh, wow. You came in on my side. on your side completely, but we would always come in against an engineer because they're all bozos. And we're going to, actually, we're going to open a special website just for your call, Alice, because I know we're going to get like 50,000 emails.

Engineers who are going to tell us that it's better to go up and then down, and I'll say the same thing to them that I say to you. Okay. Well, thank you. I hope your husband has some other redeeming. characteristics. Oh, he does. And he probably does.

Yeah, and try to cure him of this engineeringness that he has. I mean, he's telling him he's retired now. You can forget all that stuff because most of it is nonsense. Okay. I'll tell him. Buy him some golf clubs, Alice. He can plot some trajectories. Okay.

Thanks for calling. Thank you very, very much. See you, later. Bye, bye. Well, it's happened again. You've atomized. Another perfectly good hour listening to Car Talk. Our esteemed producer is Doug the subway fugitive, not a slave to fashion

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And now here in the studio is Cart Talk Plaza's chief mechanic, Mr. Vinnie Goldbott. Thank you very much. Now, if you want a copy of this year's show, which happens to be number 35, you can get one on the web, just head on over to the online store at the cart talk section, cars.com. You know what I'm talking about? Yes, but, I mean, what if I wanted something else, Vinny? I mean, what if I want to think the best of a Car Talk CD?

Would I go to the same site? No, you dope. You go to www. Joe Lieberman's House Party.com. Of course, you go to the same site. What, you're a stupid or something? You go to the Card Talk section of Cars.com where you'll order by phone.

You just call 8-88 car junk. Well, thank you so much, Vinny. That was very bueno. Hey, Bueno this, will you? Car Talk is a production of Dewee Cheetah and Howe in WBUR in Boston. And even though Scott Simon wonders if it's possible to get NHTSA to recall us, whenever he hears us say it, this is NPR National Public Radio.