The Best of Car Talk - #2653: Mechanic with Benefits

Episode Date: July 4, 2026

John is in the early stages of Ferrari ownership. Along with the exorbitant bills he’s noticing a certain ‘extra special attention’ from the dealership mechanics. Click and Clack help John decide if his mechanic’s intentions are pure on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tappert Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the Center for Continuing Education here at Car Talk Plaza. And everyone knows how interested in education we are. Oh, we certainly are. This came from cyberspace from Samantha Morris, wherever she may be. And it says something fun for Tom. Evidently, there was some contest of the worst analogies in high school essays.

And these are some of the ones that won the prize for the interesting ones. Okay. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality. Like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7 o'clock instead of 7.30. That is eerie and surreal for sure. Here's another one. He was as tall as a 6-foot 3-inch tree.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. I like this one. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience. like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole of it

and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole Well, if you'd like to complain about the lack of clear thinking in ours, you're going to give them an A for effort though. Oh, I mean, hey. I mean, the box with the

pinhole in it, I mean, geez, not everyone knows that, evidently. He was as tall as a 6-foot-th-threat. Or if you'd like to complain about the lack of clear thinking on our show, you can call us with your car question at 888 Car Talk. That's 888-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-5. Yeah. Hello, you're on Car Talk.

Hello, Virginia Ellington from Tallahoma, Tennessee. Hi, Virginia, from Tallahoma? Yes. Tallahoma, Tennessee. Right. Between Chattanooga and Nashville. Okay. So how are you today, Virginia?

Virginia. I'm fine, and you guys? We're not bad. You sound wonderful. Yeah, well, I look pretty good. My brother looks like hell, but I guess he feels good. They're not all not, huh? Is that New Year's Eve celebration I haven't recovered from yet? So what's going on? I've got a 1991 Lincoln Connell Nittle, and I took it and set it in the sun in the summertime, of course, on asphalt.

I came back to get in, I looked at it, and I thought, I don't know that car. It was up, the back end was bucking up at least eight to ten inches off the check. I think it doesn't like the hot sun. Wow. So guys, geez, the part of your car that is not working is something that we avoid, have avoided fixing, like the plague. Yeah. And what's wrong with it is the level ride system. Your car has the ability to change the ride height in the back by means of inflating bladders that are inside the, I believe, inside the springs on this car.

There's a little compressor and it pumps air into it and raises up the back of the car. Why anybody? Oh, we know why. Never mind. For me. Just for me, right? So, for example, let's say you were taking a ride to, I don't know, some place that was going to be fun, like Gatlinburg. Oh, yeah.

All right. And you had three or four your girlfriends in there, and some of them were a little on the heavy side. Mm-hmm. And you pile them all in the back. Then it's possible that the back end would sink down, you know, with your suitcases and all that in the trunk. And this system would compensate and a little pump would come on, and it would raise the back end. up so that the car was level. You don't even know that you have this?

Well, I knew it had some kind of thing. Yeah. One of my mechanics said, get rid of it. It'll go up and never come down. If it does, it'll come down and eat you tires. I had new tires. I didn't like that idea. Yeah, well.

Well, you can probably get rid of it. Oh, sell the car? No, no, get rid of the level ride system. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, who usually write? rides in the car with you? Me.

Just you. I must be way too heavy. I only weigh a little over 100, barely five pounds. No, no, and it's not you that's doing this. There's something wrong. Oh, thank you. By all means, there's something wrong with the sensors that making the car think that there's a lot of weight in it, and it turns this thing on,

and he keeps raising it up and up and up, because it thinks that there's a lot of weight in the back. Oh. Okay, and it's possible that whoever, worked in the car. I believe when you lift these cars up on the lift, you have to turn this thing off. Yeah, otherwise it gets all confused.

Oh. So I think if your local guy can't figure this out, I would take this thing to your Lincoln Mercury dealer and tell them what it's doing, and they're going to be able to fix this. And nobody else is going to be able to fix it because no one else has this. I mean, this is a wacko thing.

Too bad. And eat a little more. You're too skinny. Right. There you go. 105 pounds. I'll be riding in the back. See you later.

Bye. Thanks for calling, Virginia. 1-888-Cart talk. That's 888-278-8-255, a lawyer on Car Talk. Hi, this is Garner-Mabry from Coronado, California. Hi, Garner. Garner Mabry. Can I use that name?

I've been thinking of changing my name. Well, it's actually Garner-A-Mabry the 3rd, so there's three others. Oh, man. There's four others, and he's... See, I was going to change my name to Shippin-Bradshaw Throckmorton the 4th. Ghana, Mabry. Yeah, okay, so what's up, Ghana? Where are you from again?

Coronado, California. Coronado. It's a little island five minutes away from San Diego. Oh, yeah, sounds romantic. Yeah, it's old. And they've got a hotel here called the Hotel Del Coronado, which is kind of responsible for the entire island. And what do you do there?

That's part of my call. I'm a partner in a one-bus historical tour company. Oh, oh, the bus breaks down, and you're on a business. That's right. This is an important call. What I drive my passengers in is a... Is it a bluebird? No, it's a fully restored classic Volkswagen, 1965, 21 window deluxe microbus.

And it holds nine passengers. 65, huh? And it's blue, green, and white, and it's completely restored. And it's beautiful. It's got a full three-foot-by-five-foot sunroof on it that retracts. Oh, beautiful. But I took my wife and my son for a ride, and I hit a bump. And after I hit that bump, a squeak came out.

And I'll make the noise for you if you'd like. Oh, by all means. Okay, as good as I can. It goes, uh, depending on... It sounds like you're in over a donkey. It does. Wait a now. You hit a bump and...

And a squeak came out from... It's coming from underneath the driver's side. Yeah. And when I stopped the car, and it's not... moving and I rock it back and forth, it will squeak. Good, good, good, good. But then sometimes the squeak goes away. Bad, bad, bad, bad.

Bad, bad. Yeah, I know. For us. When I turn left, the squeak goes away. So I'm considering designing a tour of just left turn. You can do it. And I could on this island because it's pretty small. But so that the squeak is there, it goes away. I took it to a mechanic.

We put it on the rack. I needed to put heavy-duty shocks on it anyway because I carry a lot of passengers, hoping that would get rid of it. Well, as soon as he took the shock off that particular wheel, I rocked the thing back and forth, and it still squeaked even without a shock. So you knew. I knew then at that point. We brought it down.

Before bringing it down, he put on a stethoscope, and he went all along the axle. Great. And he isolated the noise inside this, you know, simple little microbus axle. Volkswagen are pretty simple. And he isolated... This is the front axle. Correct. Right.

He put it up underneath the driver's side, and he said that's where your noise is coming from. I don't know what it is. Well, there's a bearing in there. Oh, God. Yeah, but the berry wouldn't make that kind of noise. Oh, yeah, there's a berry in there because this thing doesn't have springs. This thing has torsion bars. Exactly.

And the torsion bars attached to the upper control arm. Okay. And I believe the lower control arm, too. Right. I thought it was the control arm. And, well, it could be the ball joint, but if he is coming from inside there, there's a grease fitting on that thing. Yeah. Well, we've lubed it until I've got grease oozing out everywhere.

But is it making it all the way to the bearing? I think you need to take the whosie-wetze off. Do undo the ball joints and pull the control arms out? Okay, ball joints, control arms. Right. And then you're going to be laid up. You try to run these tours every day? When's the slow season?

I do have another job. This is not my day job. But I think that you're going to need, I think if you spread enough grease, I don't think the grease is getting all the way out to the bearings, because the bearings are at the outer end. Okay. And I don't think the grease is making it out there, but if you pull those control arms out, you can grease them manually,

put them back in, and the noise will be gone. Awesome. By the way, my brother wants to buy this thing from you. Okay. Yeah. No matter what it costs, he wants it because he needs a microbus. I certainly do. Now, how many people does this seat again?

Nine? It'll hold nine, including the driver. Nine people. And does it have an engine in the front, the end of the back? No, it's got the 36 horsepower, 16-10. Good thing. There are no hills on Coronado. It's got to be only on flat land and only if you don't have to go over five miles an hour.

You have the perfect application for this vehicle. And that's my passion. The tour is an excuse to have the bus. Yeah. I can understand that. I went on the Internet, and there's all sorts of people that work on Volkswagen theoretically.

Yeah. One of them referred to a basilone flange. You ever heard of that? No. No, I think

the heat play with the Garland Baro in the orchestra Yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right.

It could be, I mean, there's a lot of nomenclature about these that I've forgotten. Yeah. But that isn't

one of the pieces. And I do remember Guy Lambeau on the Baselon flange. Yeah. Oh, they were great. They were great. Castanettists,

I believe. See you later. Great. Good luck. Good luck. Bye luck. Bye, bye. Hey, don't go anywhere because we've got a lot more calls.

Well, a few anyway. And the puzzler answer coming up right after this. Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Clack the Tappert Brothers, and we hear to talk about cars, car repair, and the answer to our most recent puzzler. Yeah, which was old. It's old. Well, this was an automotive puzzler, kind of.

You remember our pal Vinigumbats? Yes. Well, he had. Had. Two cousins, Rocco, and Throckmore. Morton. From different genealogical pieces. Oh, yeah.

And they found themselves in the middle of a little mob fracas once. The next thing you know, they're both locked in the airtight trunk of a late model Lincoln Town Car. Yeah. So after the gunplay subsides, Rocco and Throcko realizes that if they don't get out, they're going to die. So Rocco begins beating on the trunk and screaming,

I mean, let us out. Of course, nothing happens because there's nobody around. But he expends considerable energy and most of the air supply. Finally, after several hours... This is an airtight trunk, which is not usual in many cars, but the Lincoln Town car was particularly purposely made for that purpose as most of us. No. It turns out it's an option.

You want the airtight trunk? No, we shouldn't. We shouldn't. It's not just a Lincoln Town. We're in enough trouble now. You can also get this with several models of Cadillac. That's right. Don't go any further.

You're in enough trouble now. Anyway, after several... Which Cadillac has there? After several hours, Rocco ceases his banging and screaming, and in fact, he expires. Oh, man. During this time, Throckmorton has done nothing. Has it made a sound? He's been like in a trance.

He's just been lying there, saving his breath, breathing very seriously. slowly while Rocco sucked up all the air. Hours later, Throckmorton is still alive. He is a car approach and he figures this is his chance. For good or bad, he's going to bang on the trunk. Sure enough, it's the police. They open the trunk and let him out. The question is, how could Throckmorton have possibly survived for hours after Rocco

had sucked up all the air and expired? Pretty good, nifty little story, huh? Pretty crummy little answer coming up. Really? I wonder, I don't know what the answer is. You don't? And I know that you're not going to like it. I knew three weeks ago when you brought up this puzzler that I wasn't going to like the answer.

Can I expect the... I would. Go ahead. You might as well just do it now. No, no, go ahead. I want to hear. Well, what would you do, Throcko? If you were in there, how would you have survived?

How would I have survived? I would have stuck a plastic bag over my head so at least I would have a little air after Rocco sucks up all the rest of the air. No, you should have put the plastic bag over his head. Yeah, the plastic bag would have been a good idea. That would have been good. No, but if you're going to hold your breath,

you want to at least save some of the air that Rocco is going to be sucking up. Yeah, yeah, but you didn't have a plastic. Did I say you had a plastic bag? No, you didn't. So why would you deduce that you were a plastic bag? I don't know. What else is in the trunk besides Rocco?

Oh, the spare time. Exactly. Throck Morton, being the low life that he is, that we knew he was. He had to wait till Rocco expired. Oh. To maximize the time he would have on the spare tire air. So he waited and did nothing while Rocco beat his brains in the poor thing. I can just see him now eating the meatball grinder, the sauce dripping on his tie. Actually, that's not bad.

So who's our winner, man? The winner is Sean Devaney. That's a nice thing. name, isn't it? Yeah. Sean Devaney from St. Louis, Missouri. And for having his answer selected at random, from among all the correct answers to that we got, Sean will get a $25

gift certificate to the shameless commerce division at the cart talk section of Cars.com. And with that $25 gift certificate, he can get five-nights of an official car talk all-season shell, which is what? What is a shell? It's blue and a red nylon

jacket with a hood and the car talk logo on it, which you can rip off if you don't want it. It's according to those who know, one of the least fashion-challenged pieces of clothing we have ever offered. In other words, people actually like this one. No, they didn't dislike it as much. Ah, there you go. I'm sorry. I was going a little bit too far. By the way, if you got stiffed over the holidays and you want to visit the shameless commerce division, you know, pick up something for yourself. It's at the car talk section of cars.com. Anyway, we'll have a new puzzler coming up in the third half

of today's show. So stay tuned for that. In the meantime, If you'd like to call us, or if you wouldn't like to call us, the number remains. 1-888-car talk. That's 888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hey, my name is Jason. I'm calling from Needham, Mass. Hi, Jason, from Needham, right in our own backyard.

We hardly ever get calls from Massachusetts, you know? We used to get all our calls from Massachusetts. That's because we were only on in Massachusetts. Yeah, we were in the truck. We used to broadcast from the truck. So what's new, Jason? All right, well, here's the deal. I have a 1997 Honda Civic EX, and I bought it new.

And as I was thinking about the car, I was remembering an issue which I've had since I bought it. And that is, whenever I'm driving, and it's just me in the car. And I go over a rough road surface while driving at a decent clip. The car rattles. There's like this intense rattle. which feels like it's coming from the center bottom of the car. Was it tinny? I mean, is it metallic sounding?

No, it's not metallic sounding. Blu-bblum, blah, boom. Yeah, it's more like a vibration type thing. And when I first got the car, I guess maybe the first time I brought it into the dealer, I asked them that, and they said, oh, that's because one of your wheels is airborne. Oh, I like that. What did you say again?

One of your wheels is airborne. Wait a minute. Yeah, the wheels is airborne. One wheel, I've never used that. And most people wouldn't have. fallen for it. Jason, you're very, very susceptible to me. Well, they put you off for four years. Yeah. Well, I figured, all right, whatever, I'll just let it pass. It seems fine. So this has been gnawing away at you for four years. Exactly. Exactly. So then... Does it make a difference if you hit the

bump with one wheel as opposed to another? Uh, I don't think so. For example, if you singled out a bump and decided to try to hit it with your left front wheel first, would that elicit the same response? You're asking an awful lot. Hey, this is very important. Of course it's important, but Jason is not obliged to have it. He's been listening to it for four years. You ought to have a complete dossier on the rat by now. You are right.

I mean, as long as you've got a noise that you're going to put up with for four years, you ought to at least have been gathering data. All right, right. Well, it only happens when I'm alone, which is difficult. Well, isn't that interesting? And do the voices only come when you're alone, Jason? That's what I was thinking. It's just something with me.

I love it. But no, no, no. It only happens when you're alone. See, that's important. I wrote down alone on my little scrap of paper here. You would. Because I knew that was going to be important. Really?

Yeah, alone. Because you thought I was making it up? Well, it was one way or the other. It was going to be important. No, but there's a certain dynamic that gets changed when there's a passenger in the car. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.

So definitely your hit railroad tracks. Yeah, but it tends to be kind of, I don't think it's really related to one particular wheel. It seems like when the whole car is going over a rough road surface. Right, and it's been the same for four years. It hasn't gotten worse. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I mean, rest assured that things are tight in this car.

I mean, what I mean by that is the exhaust system is pretty close to the undercarriage. Yeah. And it could easily be that with just you in the car, that under the right circumstances, the exhaust system is hitting the heat shield or the floor of the car, and that would make a blow-bl-low. It would. But here's what I don't like about that answer. Yes. He was going for it.

No, but I feel as though I must be an advocate for Jason because Jason is extraordinarily gullible. No. And I'm going to try to protect you from my brother. Oh, okay. Because, I mean, if my brother is correct, it would be worse with two people in the car, not one. Uh-huh. So, dear brother, explain me that. Talking to me?

Well, you know, when... He dozed off. No, when someone else is in the car, you're engaged in conversation, and not paying attention. It's actually worse, but you just don't notice it. He's going for the psychological. And what you don't realize is when there are two people in the car and you go over railroad tracks, Two wheels are airbound. Airborne.

Airborne. Two wheels are airborne. That's right. One in the front and one of the back. Like the left front. Diagonally all the same. Exactly. Yeah.

Yeah. And they cancel each other out. Oh, is that what it is? Yeah, I think so. Okay. I don't know what this is. I don't think I'd be too worried about it, but it would be nice to drive another Honda. Uh-huh.

Now's the time you could go to a dealership and ask if they have any 97 EXs for sale. Okay. And you'd like to test drive a couple. So I can make them gullible and think that I'm trying to... Well, so you can at least make the comparison. See if they all do that. Yeah. And if the noise is there in those cars, then just turn your radio up.

Oh, yeah? Okay. Say it, Jason. You know, I've been working on a theory here. You have? Maybe you can help me with this. Noises are the bane of the existence of a mechanic. Oh, without a doubt. I can't get this.

I have a theory that it's very... First of all, it's very difficult to know where the noise is coming from. But what's making the noise is a function of where it is and how big it is. Right? And there are noises, bo-bo-bo-boom. He said bo-bo-boom. First of all, the bo-bo-boom has a pitch. So it could be a low...

Oh, so you're going to... You're going to devise a matrix. And the frequency of the noise, not the pitch frequency, but if it's... B, boom, versus how often it occurs. Right, right. Oh, you're going to need a multi-dimension matrix here. I think it's at least three. Oh, yeah.

And it might be four or five. Right. We might have to go into the fifth dimension. You want to work on this? Would you like to fly, my beautiful balloon? So would you like to join me in this, writing a little monograph on this? Yes, I would. We'll be right back with more calls and the new puzzler after these messages.

We're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, click and collect the Tappert Brothers. And we're here to discuss. Cars Car Repair and the new Puzzler from the insect kingdom. We haven't dealt into the wonderful world of... No, I mean, we've had the string series of puzzlesers. Oh, yes. We've had the Krusty series.

Oh, yes. And this is from the Bug Collection. In order of Bugsy, who happens to be here today. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, he heard there was a free lunch and he actually, he got the aroma wafting out of the cafeteria. you're ready now pay attention okay go ahead two grasshoppers are hanging around one day and each of them is boasting that he can jump faster than the other one jump faster yes in other words cover a greater

distance in the same amount of time you mean father no faster i mean if two guys are running if you and i are racing yeah and i get to the finish line first and admitted admitted at that very instant i will have run farther, but the objective is to see you can go faster. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so that's how they do it. They jump and then they jump again and they jump again. Each jump being like a step that we would take. Or something, I don't know what grasshoppers do.

Whatever they call them. Anyway, to settle the argument, they decide to have what? A race. There you go. I'm quick, huh? Yeah, okay. The larger of the two grasshoppers who can jump 10 inches at a bound. Yeah.

His name is Throck Morton. Throcky. Okay. And the other one, who's named Rocky, can jump six inches at a shot. Yeah. Okay. Oh, I get it now. So the larger guy says, okay, here's what we're going to do.

So we're going to set up a race that consists of 24 feet, 12 feet out and 12 feet back. Yeah. So he's going to start off at the starting point. Okay. I got you. Vinny's going to shoot the gun. Yeah. And we're going to take off.

Okay. Now, even though the bigger guy can jump 10. inches at a shot, the other guy jumps more often. So when they get to the five footmark, which is 60 inches, the little guy will have jumped 10 times. Right. Right? The big guy will have jumped six times, but they're dead even.

Exactly. Neck and neck. Do they have necks? Grasshopper. Antenna. They're antenna to antenna. Gotcha. You got it?

Okay. So the bigger grasshopper who takes the bigger leaps has designed the course and it's 12 feet out, and it's 12 feet back. Gotcha. Can either one of them win the race? And is there a part B? How. And how's part three?

Who? Who? Good question. Right? So you do want to know who? If you want. Okay. If you choose.

All right. If you think you know the answer, write it on a postcard. This is very good. Or freeze it inside a 10-foot-high ice sculpture of Britney Spears. And send it to my son Andrew, care of Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3,500, Harvard Square, Cambridge.

Our Fair City. Matt, 2,2238. Or, of course, you can email your answer from the Car Talk section of Cars.com. If you'd like to call us, the numbers 1-888-88-8-8-8-2-27-8-25. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hey, guys, this is John from San Francisco. John?

Hello, John. How are you? We're doing well. How are you? Good. I am doing terrific. Great. What can we do for you today?

Okay, I have a 1989 Ferrari 328 GTS. Oh, and I bought this car because the guy that sold it to me told me that it was cheap and reliable transportation. Did he have any bridges that he was selling? Most of the time, I'm a happy and well-adjusted owner. However, I've had this problem now for about two years

that just does not go away. The issue is this. The car works fine when it's going forward. It works fine when it's stopping. The problem comes when I try and put it into reverse. About 25% of the time, if you try and engage reverse, with the car at a complete stop, the gear goes in with this horrible crunch. It's as if you were trying to engage reverse with the car moving.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You look like a real plonker. Yeah. And it's difficult to look suave. Well, look at the bright side. in the two years, it hasn't gotten worse. No, no, that's true. Yep.

That's good. That is good, yeah. What it means is that you have no more teeth on that synchronizer to grind off. You've ground all, every one of them off. And I just want, you know, this is about the only Ferrari question that we would have had a snowball's chance of answering. Yeah, so lucky you. Lucky you. If you had said anything else, like if you asked us, like, is the engine in the back or in the front, we wouldn't have known.

Okay. I think you know this one. All right. So what's wrong is that you no longer have a synchronizer left for reverse. Thankfully, the other gears still have their synchronizers. Right. And that's why you can shift into those gears without the grinding. I would recommend you could have the transmission rebuilt, which would cost you about 400 million lira. Or is that 400 billion lira? I don't remember.

I think it's a billion, but you have to bring the car to Rome. Yeah. Now, the other possibility is that the clutch is not sufficiently disengaging. When you drive the car, is the clutch engaged very close to the floor? I guess the friction point is maybe two-thirds of the way down, around about where it should be. I mean, the Ferrari mechanic guys, I mean, if you own one of these cars, you enter into a deep and meaningful relationship with a whole bunch of different mechanics. Yes, there's an involved holding hands and Ken, Ken, yes, it involves holding hands and Ken, the light dinners?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That happens before and after. Yeah. Yeah. And they claim that pretty much all of the time when they look at the clutch, the friction point is okay.

Do you have any idea how much free play there is in the clutch? When you push it down with your fingers, how far down does it go before it gets hot? Yeah. Essentially none. No free play. Well, very, very little. I've never pushed it down with my fingers, but you can. can't feel any with your feet. Is that an insufficiently...

Yeah, the feet are not sensitive. Well, you might know. I think John has sufficient sensitive. He sounds like a sensitive guy to me. He does. He's very sensitive. We are a legendarily sensitive people. You are. I mean, it's known throughout the world. You want to find sensitivity. Right. Drink warm beer. Well, anyway, I would have to say that it could easily be that the clutch is not disengaging and reverse would be the most difficult gear to get into if the clutch weren't disengaging fully. But I'm still going to stick with my original theory that you've ground up the synchronizers.

Okay. But I would ask them to bleed the clutch first. Okay. I think you're in for some huge bucks here. But, I mean, why else would you own a Ferrari if you weren't prepared for that? Right. And on some level, you must enjoy it. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, you could have bought a Holden and you wouldn't have any trouble like that. Well, here's what I, here's the order in which I'd recommend you do things. Okay. Are you ready? Yep. I would, if bleeding doesn't help, I would then go ahead and replace the clutch master cylinder.

Right. And maybe even the slave cylinder, but you can do them separately. Okay. If neither one of those helps, and you're still embarrassed by this condition, and or you have any money left. Right. You can go ahead and replace the clutch itself. Oh!

If that, not if, but when that doesn't solve the problem, then you'd have to go ahead and rebuild the transmission. but that's last on the list. But I think before you get to that point, one of several things will have happened. Either you will have solved the problem or run out of money or an earthquake would have struck

and your part of the city would have fallen into the ocean. Oh, you would have sold a car. Or I will have sold the car. Or you'd build a circular driveway. See you later, John. Which would be cheaper, by the way. Thanks, guys.

Very much. Good luck. Bye. That really was the only question he could have asked us. Maybe about the cooling system we might have had a shot at something about a Ferrari. Have you ever seen a Ferrari? Oh, yeah, I go to the auto show.

The year I see them. Yeah. Yeah, I'm kind of disappointed in all these years they've never offered to let us test drive one. You're not surprised, though. None at all surprised. Not one-888-8-8-8-8-2-278-25. Hello, you're on car talk. Hey.

Hey. My name is Katie. I live in Durham, California. Durham, California. What the heck is? Durham, California. California. The land of the nuts and fruits.

Oh, you're in the San Joaquin Valley. North. North. North in the Sacramento Valley. Sacramento Valley. Yeah, about 90 miles north of Sacramento. Boy, you know, I was amazed at how much stuff is grown in California. You probably don't have an appreciation for it because you've been there your whole life.

Not exactly. We moved from Syracuse, New York. You have to have a great appreciation. I mean, if you've driven the area obviously and seen the stuff, it's amazing. It is amazing. California feeds the whole country. Thank you. I hope it doesn't slide into the ocean in the near future.

So anyway, Katie, what's shaking? Well, an 88 mercury marquee. And the shake is only in the front. Oh, there is a shake. Get out. I was using a figure of speech. I know. Yeah.

Here's my question. Yeah. The mercury, when I turn on the left-hand signal, the blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink. When I turn on the right-hand signal. Big-da-g-da-g-da-gig-d-d-git. Just the opposite. Bung, bong, bong, bong. Right.

Yeah, it means there's a light out on the left side. The right one's working correctly. But here's the puzzler. Yeah. I had an 89 Subaru wagon. They did the exact same thing. And? My girlfriend has a 70-something Volvo, and her car does the exact same thing.

They all have the same problem. You know why? No. Because you're living on the left coast. That's it. Yeah, and if you take a left turn there, you'd be right in the ocean. And so it's warning you, when you say it left turn and saying, no, don't do it. What are you crazy?

So all the cars in California are plotting against us. They want us all to go to the right. Exactly. You guys are focusing too much time on the election. Yes, we are, aren't we? Yes, you are. But all of those cars really do have the same problem. There's a bulb probably not working in the front or the back on the left side.

Or a bad ground or some such thing. Many cars will have more than one directional bulb in the front or back. And if one of them, for example, is out in the left rear, when you turn the thing on, one of them will blink in the left rear. the one in the left front will blink, but because there's not enough resistance in the circuit, it causes the flasher to actuate faster. So you get blick, blick, flick, blink, blink.

And it's a message to you to check the bulbs because something is wrong. So here's what you do. Turn on the key. Turn on the right blinker and notice how many lights light up because that side's working correctly. Yeah, you can get out of the car

and you can just walk back and forth and look. And then you can do the same thing with the left and you'll say, aha, I've got a dead bulb. You're so clever. Thank you. Isn't it easy? We are clever if you ask a simple question. So what are you doing in Durham?

Picking nuts. Are you really? No. You lied to us? I would have figured. But the blinker problem really exists. But you obviously recently relocated from Syracuse to Durham. My husband teaches at the state college here just 10 miles north of us.

Oh, yeah. What does he teach? Exercise physiology. Is that a good living? You know, it's better than being free for public radio. All right, rub it in. All right. Okay.

And you have your MIT degrees. Yeah. We could have been contenders. We could have been somebody's. Instead of were a couple of losers. By the way. Are there any jobs out there picking nuts? Because we have the summer off.

Yes. Really? Yeah. Absolutely. I can see it now. Two nuts picking nuts. There you go. See you, Katie.

Hey, thanks for calling. Thank you. Bye-bye. Well, it's happened again. You've misappropriated another perfectly good hour listening to Car Talk, or misjudged, maybe. Our esteemed producer is Doug the subway fugitive Bongo Boy, Burman. There's a ring to it, doesn't it?

Bongo Boy. And the fact that his name is Berman. Yeah. I mean, it's great. It's so illiterative. Bongo Boy, Berman. If his first name were Bob, Bob Bongo Boy Berman. Or Bill.

Bill. You'll have to work on that. Our associate producers are Louis the... Well, it could be Bob the bungling bungle boy, Burma. Our social producers. Louis Cronin the Barbarian and David, things are suspiciously good. What are you guys planning green? Our engineer is Tad Massimand Curry.

Our senior wear black. He is Doug the old gray mayor, aka Zoo Boy, who's... We don't know where he is. We don't know. God only knows. God only knows. And our technical spirit... I hope at least God knows where he is.

Or Pakistani air. And menu advisor, just in from the Banff Ice Chai World Finals, is John Bugsie Waller. Our public opinion pollster is Paul Murky of Merkey Research, assisted by statistician Marjor. Our customer care representative is Haywood Jabuzov. Our new truck reviewer is Zubignau Rigg. Our staff bodyguard is Liam Lohn. The force attorney is Carmine, not yours. Our director of genealogical research is many cousins.

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We're clicking and clacked the Tappert Brothers. Don't drive like my brother. Don't drive like my brother. We'll be back next week. Bye-bye. Car Talk is a production of Dewey Cheatham and Howe and WBUR in Boston. And even though Manny Ramirez thinks, if I'd known they were from Boston,

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