The Best of Car Talk - #2656: Remote Nonstarter

Episode Date: July 14, 2026

Gladys was gifted a remote starter for those cold winter days in upstate New York. But the promise of a warmed up interior on those icy cold mornings has given way to rumors about wrecked engines and voided warranties. To install or not to install: that is the question on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us Click and Clack the Tappert Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the Department of Gender Studies here at Car Talk Plaza. Now, since Valentine's Day is approaching, we thought that this was an appropriate topic. One of those topics that can just drive a wedge right in between a loving couple, right? I mean, I'm sure the name Laura Doyle rings a bell with you. Yes. Yes.

Laura Doyle, as some of you may know, has written a book called The Surrendered Wife, a practical guide to finding intimacy, passion, and peace with your man. Yeah. And the basic premise is right in the title there? It's submit. It's taken the place right next to the Bible. I immediately ran out, and I bought a dozen of these and I sprinkle them around the house. Basically what Laura says is.

is that for happiness, a happy marriage, what you need to do, you the wife need to do, is just surrender. Whatever your husband says, you say, yes, dear. Yeah. That's it. You don't ask any questions, and you just go out of your way to submit in any way possible.

Now, here's a woman who's really thinking. Don't you think? Yeah. Too bad. She's crazy. She even gives, like, a little quiz, to test yourself on how intimate your marriage is, you know. Do you have to answer,

rarely sometimes or frequently, feel superior to your husband, nag your husband, commiserate with other wives about your husband, hear yourself say, I told my husband, blah, blah, blah. I mean, what if there were a similar test like for men? Okay. How rarely sometimes or frequently? Do you sleep in the garage? Frequently. Questions like that.

I mean, this book has the potential to revolutionize. everything. She may have ruined everything. Yeah. At first blush. Yeah. I was encouraged by your thesis. But it's...

Well, it's interesting. It turns scary. My brother turned me on to Laura Doyle because he saw it in Time Magazine. We have another brother? And interestingly, we get Time Magazine, even though it's a rag. Your wife had torn out to me.

I have several times now can. cancel my subscription to it. Somehow we keep getting it. Yeah, I know why you do, while you re-up, it's the free phones, right? They give your phone every time.

I got 14 phones now. So, so he says, did you read about this new book about the surrendered wife? And I say, no, he says, well, I saw it in Time Magazine.

And I say to my wife, huh, where is Time Magazine? She says, I don't know. I said, well, we did get it, right? I don't know. She evidently had seen it in Toronto.

Throw them the whole issue away. Didn't want me to even look at it. Yeah. Maybe that was your way of surrendering. Well, if you want to surrender, you can call us. Actually, if you have a problem with your car, we don't want to hear about your marriage problems. At least not for the first 15 minutes of the show. Give us a chance to recover.

That's 1-888-car talk. That's 888-227-8-255. I don't want to sleep in the garage. Hello, your own car talk. You want to know how cold it is? in my garage. I know how cold it is. I happen to know. Even as cold as it is outside.

It's for the dog complaints. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Heidi from Scottsdale, Arizona. Hi, Heidi. You sound like there's a party going on there. She's got a Scottsdale dog. No, it's a three-year-old. A three-year-old.

Yeah. And what's this three-year-old's name? That's Robert. Robert. Robert. Is he a little animal yet? That's terrible twos time, right? No, he's three.

Well, but two's last for about 17 years. Oh, we do. I think especially with this one. Yeah, this is number one? No, this is number two. Number two. Cool. And I have Laura Doyle beat, by the way.

You do? Yes. What do you do? The trick is you make the husband think you've submitted. Oh, yeah. Well, there is no one better at that than my wife. I did only to recount the tail of the clock. Yeah.

Tell us about the clock. My brother has this most annoying. No, I buy this thing. I see it advertised. I don't know on television. It's a bird clock. And every hour on the hour are different bird tweets to six to six. It's got pictures of these birds.

So it's, you know, it's got a tit mouse. You know what? I mean that in a catalog. Yeah. Yeah. So I buy the thing. And I hang it up. It takes three batteries.

Two for the chirping and one for the clock. And I hang it up, and the first thing I notice is that it's driving my cat crazy. So right away, I like it. But it's also driving my wife crazy. And all the visitors to your house. All the visitors. Every hour, some little, woo-woo, what the heck is that? Oh, that's a wild titmouse.

So three or four months later, I come home from work one night, and I'm sitting there having dinner. And at seven o'clock, I noticed that no chirp. And I say to my wife, what happened? And she says, I don't know, I guess it stopped working. I said, cheap piece of junk. I guess it just wasn't meant to wait. I knew it wasn't going to last that long. And then I remembered that it had two batteries for the chirper.

And many weeks later, I take the clock off the wall. And what do you think, Heidi? Oh, it might be missing. That year. Removed. What are the chips that happened? How did that happen? They must have just, like, fallen out again into the wall.

I think so. Yeah, and my wife, Angelica, she is. She's very devious. How innocent did she look when you turned that clock over and there were no batteries? Was she present at the... She was present and she knew. So you just say yes. You just nod and smile and say yes, dear.

Well, see, that's what I do. I'm the submissive husband. And whenever my wife says anything, I, yes, dear, I pull up my pants and I say, yes, dear. I mean, I pull up my, I hitch up my belt, you know, warm around my chest and I say, yes, dear. I'm in trouble. What will you do with your pants now? I didn't mean that. I know.

All right. I'm recovered now. Okay. What do you want to talk about, Heidi? I have a 91 Lexus LS 400. Yeah. And it has 116,000 miles on it. Good.

And I have a problem with my power steering fluid. It keeps disappearing? Yes. It needs power steering fluid like every three days. And I'll check the reservoir. Reservoir, thank you. And there's power steering fluid. steering fluid in there, but unless there's power steering fluid all the way up to the top,

it does not like me. Yes. And it makes noise. Yes, and it goes, ah, ah, right, because... People look at me funny. You have power steering fluid in there, but it's all full of air. And that's why it looks like it's enough, but in fact it isn't because most of that is air. Really?

Yeah. It's a pump, basically, that thing. That thing that you're pouring... Well, the reservoir in this car is actually a separate plastic vessel. and then there's a hose that leads from that to the pump. And then the pump is responsible for creating pressure that moves the rack back and forth. And those kind of pumps are usually not good at pumping air.

They like fluid, liquids. They like liquids. So how do I get the air out? Well, you have a leak, and you have to fix the leak. If you're lucky and you've let a good submissive life, you will need something like a power steering hose. There are hoses. There are many places where this thing can leak.

system can leak. It can leak from the pump out of the front seal. It can leak from any of the hoses that go or come from the rack and pinion. Or worst of all, it can leak from the rack and pinion itself. I'm going to guess, from my vast experience of these cars, that you're going to need a rack and pinion.

Oh, man. Really? Yeah. But you've had this thing for 10 years. Well, we're getting ready to sell it. Yeah, well, this is the day to do it. You're a couple of months late. Just put some power steering fluid in it beforehand? Oh, man. That's on... We can't I think you should write to Randy Cohen, the ethicist of the New York Times Sunday magazine,

and ask him what he thinks you should do. And then ask him if he wants to buy a truck. I know what I think you shouldn't do. I mean, you're going to have to be honest about this. But Hannah's on the other hand. I would put it straight power, stereo. That'll leak right out. Okay.

Good luck, Heidi. Thank you. See, bye-bye. Bye. Bye. husband think you're being submissive. That's another theory, isn't it? 825.

Oh, my wife did say, you know, she said initially I didn't like the clock, but it's kind of grown on me. Oh, that was... Birmingham got the clock, and his wife had the battery's out in two days. Yeah, but it was even sneakier. Sneakier, because she allowed it to stay there for a long time. Long enough that I would believe that it broke. That it actually broke.

It was a masterful stroke on her part until I uncovered her little plot. No, good. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, my name is John Findlay. I'm from Minneapolis, Minnesota. Hi, John. John. What's up?

Well, I have a 91 Azuzu trooper. It's an automatic, and as it builds up to shift into the next gear, it makes a noise, kind of a growly noise, kind of goes, like that. And then it shifts kind of rough into the next gear. It doesn't do it every time. but probably 70% of the time. And when you say it shifts rough, what does that mean? It sort of feels like it's building up, you know, to shift like you can hear the

RPM of the engine increasing, then all the time it goes, boom, and it shifts into the next gear right when it makes that noise. Yeah. And how long has this been going on? Oh, six months. During which time, other than calling us, you've done nothing about it. No, I haven't been anywhere. I've been waiting to talk with you guys.

Yeah, well, that was the right thing to do. because it would have cost you a lot of money if you got anywhere. Yeah, yeah. We're going to give you the option of selling the truck, which the transmission guys would not have given you. That's right.

Well, you know, it could be something as simple, if you were lucky. Go ahead. As insufficient transmission fluid. Ah, okay. Oh, you didn't even check that. I haven't checked that. Oh, so you really have done nothing.

You're right. I'm a busy guy. Yeah, John abides by the philosophy. If it ain't broke, wait. It will be. Yeah, I mean, my brother's absolutely right, of course. It could be something as simple as that, but only if you have led a very good, clean life. On the other hand, it could portend the end of the transmission.

Yeah, that's my nervous now. Yeah, and that's why you haven't even opened the hood, you chicken. All right. How many miles on this thing? 100-something thousand. Ninety-four. Ninety-four. And what kind of driving has that been?

Been, oh, combination. though, you know, just normal city driving and that type of thing, some highway driving. Oh, but more city than highway? Yes. It's more likely than the transmission's dead. Well, because in the city, it has to shift more times. Right, right. Whereas when you're on the highway, you get into high, and that's it for an hour, two hours.

Well, I think you should take it into your local repair shop. But before you do that, even, you might want to check the transmission fluid yourself. I will do that. Hopefully, you're going to find that it's low, and you're going to find that it's low, You have a small leak in the transmission cooler line, and a 25 cent of hose clamp is going to fix that, and all will be right with the world. Won't that be nice, John? That would be great. Yeah.

Three months. That's chance. But you never know. So it's either going to cost you, let's see, a couple of box, a hose clamp, $25, or $2,500. So we're going to take the average. Okay. 1252. See you later.

All right. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Hey, don't go anywhere because we've got a lot more calls. Well, few anyway. And the puzzler answer coming up right after this. Hi, we're back.

You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Clock, the Tapper Brothers. And we're here to talk about cars, car repair, and the answer to last week's puzzler. And I guess this was an automotive puzzler. Well, it certainly was. Could be a household puzzler. The vacuum cleaner was involved. Well, you remember my neighbor Frank who lived across the street? Certainly do.

One morning out my mouth from my constitutional, I noticed that Frank is in the driveway. working on his Lincoln. He's got the thing jacked up, and I'm assuming he's changing the oil or something like that. So, of course, I make myself scarce. I'm hiding in the bushes, and I see that he's under the car working away. After a few minutes, he rolls out from underneath on his creeper, and the next thing I know, he bends over and picks up something off the ground. He holds it up. I can't see it well, because of a considerable distance away, but it looks to be about the size of a quarter. He has a look of disappointment on his face. He stands there puzzled.

I'm still hiding behind the bushes, don't know. I don't dare move, knowing that if I'm spotted, I may be asked to help. Anyway, Frank enters the house and comes back a minute later with his vacuum cleaner. I figure he's going to clean the car. But instead, he attaches the hose to something under the hood. He plugs the vacuum cleaner in and starts up the vacuum cleaner. Hmm. He gets under the car.

with this little thing, the size of the quarter, does something, emerges from under the car with a satisfied grin in his face, turns off the vacuum cleaner. The question is, what the hell did he do? Well, I have to say that I'm completely baffled by this one. There were a plethora of hints, I think. No? Maybe no. I didn't hear a single one. Ah, well, I'm assuming he's changing the oil or some such thing, and in fact, that's what he was doing. But in changing the oil, he left out the drain plug gasket. There was a little gasket that goes between the drain plug and the pan. And when he finished the job, what he found on the ground was the gasket.

It was the gasket, which he held up and looked at with a disappointed look in his face. Yeah, I considered that for a while. Now, not having a clean vessel into which to drain the oil, he decided to use his wife's vacuum cleaner. So he goes into the house, hooks the vacuum cleaner hose up to the place where you pour the motor oil in. turns the vacuum cleaner on, and draws a vacuum on the entire crank case. Oh, my God! Don't try this at home! You can blow yourself up.

Are you crazy? So he takes off the drain plug. He takes off the draincloth. The oil is held in suspended animation by the vacuum cleaner. Oh, bull feathers! That's... He then... Oh!

Definitely throws the gasket on there. He puts the plug back. lost a little bit of oil, but certainly not the five quarts that he would have lost had he just taken the drain plug out. Oh, stop it! Hey.

What do I know? Well, I suppose theoretically, this is possible. But it would require, of course, that the vacuum cleaner connection fit perfectly into the little hole. I didn't say that it didn't

tape it up with duct tape, but he stuck it into the... He stuck it in there. Yeah, it just so happened that he didn't. It happened to fit right into the thing. It happened to fit right in perfectly. He turns the thing on and within a couple of seconds, that vacuum was trying to suck the life out of his engine.

And when he was satisfied that he had pulled enough vacuum, he slid under there, took that drain plug off, slapped the gasket in, threw the drain plug back in, and emerged with a grin in his face before the house blew up. All I can say is, I'm not disappointed. that I didn't get that. Oh, come on. I thought it was wonderful.

Oh, God. It is wonderful. What does it take? It is a little far-fetched, and I'm going to try this in your car as soon as they get out of here. All right. Do we have, and I will admonish people not to try this because as you suck vapors out of the crank case, gasoline vapors, you could blow up the vacuum cleaner in yourself. And yourself. And you're Lincoln.

You're Lincoln. And the house next door. And the neighbor across the street was hiding in the bushes. That would have been poetic justice. That never occurred to Frank. And had I know what he was doing, I would have run over and stop them. But I felt I was far enough away so that any explosion would not reach me. Well, Frank didn't really do this.

You made this up, right? Yeah, you did. Okay. We have a winner, actually, and the winner is Gerald Runyon from Atchison, Kansas. Atchison. Topeka. Is that? Atchison, Topeka.

and the Santa Fe? No. And for having his answer picked at random from the buckets of correct answers that we got this week, Gerald Runyon, is going to win a $25 gift certificate

to the Shameless Commerce Division at the Cartalk section of Cars.com. So you go to Cars.com, you click on Car Talk, you go to the store, and you look at all the wonderful stuff there, Gerald Runyon. And you can buy anything

that costs $25 or less, including our wonderful CD, men are from GM, women are from Ford, calls about couples and cars. Maybe Laura Doyle will be on the next one that we do of that. Should be a guest. Oh, very good. Anyway, we'll have a new puzzler.

I guess you'd have to call it Automotive 2. Kind of, in a way. Well, this one being automotive 1? Yeah. That'll be coming up in the third half of today's show. There you go, one, two, and three. We get all numbers. In the meantime, if you have a question about your car,

or anything else for that matter, the number is 888 Car Talk. That's 888. 227-8255. A lawyer on Car Talk. Hi, my name is Gladys, and I live in Clinton Corners, and I don't have any car trouble. I need your advice. Where's Clinton Corners, Gladys? What state? New York. New York.

I'm not far from Taconic Parkway. Oh, the Laconic Parkway. Yeah, we've been there. So what's the problem, Glad? Well, for Christmas, I got an engine starter, and I heard wonderful things about them. I don't have a garage, and I'm not that young, and I thought, gee, I can warm the car up before I go out. Now I hear horror stories that they ruin your electrical system, and you don't have a warranty anymore, and I'm leaving for Florida, and I'm scared to death that this thing I don't have it put in. Well, if you're leaving for Florida, are you taking the car with you to Florida?

Yep. You're not going to need the engine starter in Florida. No, I know. That's why I decided I'm waiting until I come back, and I'll have it put in then. but I just live in fear of breaking down. What Gladys is talking about a few other people may not know is a remote starter. You can attach this device on all the accoutrement to the engine. And from inside the house on those cold winter days when the snow is coming down,

you press a little button and the car starts. Doesn't that sound wonderful? And by the time you get down there 15 minutes later, everything has melted, the seats are heated, your tush is warm. Right, there were buds on the trees. and screams. Flowers are growing in the back seat. The little babbling brook or the babbling brother is babbling. Well, I'm not a big fan of these, and I will tell you that... But don't forget that 25 years ago, you and I worked on the design of one of these. We were hot.

We thought this was the idea of the century. Well, we thought this was a big deal for people that lived in the city. We called it the Manhattan Project. Our timing was a little off. My car's going to blow up. And the reason I don't like them, number one is, I mean, first and foremost, I think, as a people, it's making us soft. Yeah. Well, I'm old.

Well, that's all right. You're tough, though, Blanis. I can tell. Yeah, you're going to spend six months living in a yurt, Tuveniska. And then, you know, milky. yaks at 5 a.m. And you'll be, you'll be dying to go out and start your car in a cold winter morning. We don't know what tough is.

I'm opposed to it on that. But more than that, or as much as that at least, I'm opposed to it on the grounds that if you're not there when your car is running and something happens, you won't know enough to shut it off. Let's say, for example, that you were low on oil. Mm-hmm. But you were inside the house, you know, making a cup of tea while your engine was running. Right.

And you could easily ruin the engine. Oh. Yeah, oh. Whereas if you were in the car with it running and the oil light came on, you would know enough to shut it off. So that's why I don't like it. Right. But no big mechanical mess-ups with my car if I haven't put in my? No, it's not good.

Assuming it's done correctly, it's not going to mess up the car. I mean, there are various... But there have been some stories that you've heard, and I've heard too, that incorrectly installed. weird crazy things can happen. Like the car can continue to try to start itself. Right. In which case it might chew up the starter motor. One girl told me they put it in and it was too powerful for her car and it blew everything

up in her car. Well, I don't know about that. I mean, I don't know. My guess is most of these failures are due to faulty installation. Okay. I think if you really wanted to have one, you should go to someone who does nothing but this or who specializes in it. Okay.

And I wouldn't trust it to Dave. Dave is your regular mechanic. No, Mike. Mike. Or Larry Moore. As good a guy as he may be, if he hasn't done these, you don't want him to learn on your car, Gladys. So I would go probably to a company that installs alarm systems. All right.

And ask if they'll install this thing. And if they say, oh, they gave you the Cadillac of remote starters. That's what this is. Deluxe. If it's a deluxe version, they'll put it in for you for a normal. nominal fee of a few hundred bucks, and you'll be on your way, and you can even start the thing from Florida. That's right. Yeah, when the plane's going to land, you can start the car at the airport.

It'll be running for you. That's what I wanted to. I think it'll be okay. Okay. Well, thank you very much. You answered my question. I don't mind getting soft and old. I just want a nice warm car when I go out.

Have a wonderful time. Hope you're living it up like Wayne Newton. Enjoy yourself. Okay, thank you very much. All right, bye-bye. Or Barry Manilow. Oh, yeah? Yeah, he lives it up.

Does he? Yeah. No kidding. Really? No. 1-88-Cart talk. Who is Barry Maltaught? He writes the songs, man.

888-227-8-255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, Tamin Ray. My name is Michelle, and I'm calling from Wheaton, Illinois. Hi, Michelle. Are you formal? Wheaton, Illinois? Wheaton, Illinois.

Well, hello, Michelle. My name is Tom Alianzanoz. I was to talk to you. What's up? Well, I have a 97th Saturn that was recently in a car accident. Wasn't your fault, though? No, it was not. Of course, we know that.

I'll deny it to the end, that it was my fault. The point of impact was the front driver's side tire. So it trashed the suspension and blah, blah, blah. I'm guessing $1,875 fixed it. $2,675. Wow. It was close. Yeah.

But when I got it home, you know, I took it home, started fine, but the next morning it wouldn't start. Well, I was so angry, of course, I threw a fit in the car, and I pushed on the steering wheel, and when I shoved back in the seat, the dashlights came on. So you were having a little hissy fit there sitting in the car, and you pushed on the steering wheel. Right. You say the seat went back? I went back in the seat and it rocked the car back, and when the car rocked back, the dashlights went on. And then the car started. No?

And then it rolled forward and the dash lights went off. So what I did was I put my foot outside of the car and I rocked it back and forth and back and forth until I got enough momentum that I could hit the ignition switch when the lights came on. And it started. All right, so? So what's wrong with this? Doesn't anyone screen these calls? I mean, do we let any wacko just call us and talk to us? Yeah, I mean, do we deserve this?

What's the wrong? Why us? Why us? Come on, man, this is NPR. I mean, would Robert Siegel put up with this nonsense? Even Juan Williams doesn't get called this bad. Why? I said, I have a waco car question.

I know the number to call. That's what I said. I don't even understand the question. She's not getting current. The car is dead. I'd be willing to bet that when you turn the key on, nothing works whatsoever. Correct.

Even the headlights? Have you tried the headlights? Even the headlights. the headlights. Nothing works. I think you have something as simple as a loose chassis ground. Yeah. There's a wire that goes between the engine and the chassis of the car and then eventually

to the battery. And that is the ground path or the return path for all the electricity that comes out of the battery to run your heater, your wipers, your radio, their headlights to start the car. Right. So if the electricity can't get back. We call them little Eddie and E. We do. I see.

Okay. So if little Eddie electrons can't get back home, then he won't leave. I see. So if the return path has been interrupted somehow, then nothing in the car will be stone cold dead. And rocking the car is moving stuff around enough

so that you finally do get it started. I would recommend that you take it back to them immediately because if you have a bad ground connection, you can burn things up. That would be bad. That would be bad, yeah. Hey, Tom and Ray, thanks a lot. Hey, Michelle.

See ya, Michelle. Thank you. All right. Thanks for your call. Bye-bye. Hey, let me guess. You'd like to take a little break right about now. Why do you think that?

Well, you've got the door open, your headphones off, and your rollers gets a lace-up. We're back. You're listening to Car Talk. Don't wake me up like that. You're listening to Car Talk with us Click and Collector Tappert Brothers, and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and the new puzzler. You're going to hate this. I know you are, but tough. Well, I love the last one.

Go ahead. You know, no one likes to follow a city bus. I mean, they're ugly, they're noisy, they're smelly, they're big, they're slow. Hey, I just described my brother. And in our fair city especially, they don't even have the decency to pull over to discharge or admit passengers. They kind of stop in the middle of the street. Right in the middle of the street. Yeah.

But I discovered something interesting lately that about half the time that I drive to work in the morning. Mm-hmm. I don't mind following the bus. You don't mind following the bus? I don't mind following the bus. In fact, I look forward to it. Really?

Yeah. I say on average, about half the time. Wow. The question is why? Going to work? Going to work. And the hint is that if it's snowing, I don't want to follow the bus.

Oh, that's a hint. Hmm. So if you think you know the answer, write it on a postcard. or taper to the aft deck of a Hinkley, South Wester, 61 Ray Salon, Custom Yacht, with state-of-the-art navigation station. Are we even Rob's report? And wraparound banquet sofa, leatherette banquet sofa.

And sailor to, Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3,500, Harvard Square, Cambridge. How old city? Matt, 02238. Do we have a slip? Right there at the post office? You send it. We'll have it. Or you can email your answer from the Car Talk section of Cars.com.

If you'd like to talk to us right now, the number is 1-888-Cart talk. That's 888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hey, this is JP from Richmond, Virginia. Hey, JP. What can we do for you today? Why did you choose to be called by initials instead of by a name? Oh, well, it's...

Instead of by John Patrick, which is your real name, isn't it? Yeah, that's correct. Really? Yeah, really. Well, that's very common in the south anyway, isn't it? Initials. Maybe. More common than it is up north here.

Okay. Here we just have Shippin Bradshaw, Throck Martin, the fourth. Right. And when you call him, you say, hey, Shippon Bradshaw, use the whole name. All right. Okay, J.P. Okay. Keep passing, man.

I have an 87 Chevy S-10 pickup truck, and it has 300,000 miles on it. Woof. And it's a wonderful vehicle. Really? Now, my wife has been trying to get me to get rid of it for probably five years. Well, why does she want you to get rid of it? See, I also have this old motorcycle that doesn't run that well. And then we just got a little minivan.

So now we have too many vehicles. And she's embarrassed, quite honestly, to be seen in the S-10, right? Yes. Yeah. Even though I think women look hot when they're in a pickup truck. Yeah. She's going to get all the guys in the neighborhood to tell me I won't be any less of a man if I don't have a pickup truck. Yeah, well, don't you believe that.

See, what she doesn't know. Don't fall for that. What I think would comfort her is that you say that gals look hot driving a pickup truck. Yeah. But trust me, you're driving this 87. You don't look hot. Oh, I don't care. Well, that's good.

That's it. I mean, and guys don't care. Right, yeah. But it means something to you to be driving around. First of all, the fact that it's that old and it's still running, that's a sign of manliness because you've managed to make it keep running. By whatever means. That's what everybody thinks.

Sure. That's why I drive a 40-year-old car. Good stuff. 50-year-old car. My brother always tries to drive a car that's 10-year-old. years younger the D is. Yeah. Yeah, just about.

The gap is actually widened it. There's some kind of a logarithmic. There's something going on there. I don't know what in this. Hey, I wish I had one of those wind-up things. So what's, do you have a question? Okay, what's wrong with it is I leave the key in it in case any of my neighbors want to borrow it. What a guy.

Yeah, and, well, they give me beer, so it's trade off. No, they do. They put it right in the tank. So my neighbor said he's going to borrow it, and I'd say, that's cool. And then I get a phone call saying, J.P., what do you do about this stalling thaw? And I said, what do you mean to stalling problem? Man, I was on Route 95, and the thing, you know, died on me. I said, I don't know. It's never happened to me.

So I'm like, you know, I don't know. And I'm just thinking this guy, he did something goofy or whatever. So then he makes it home, all right? So that's good. And I think, I'm going to test drive it. You know, I'll drive it to work. So it's like 4.30 in the morning and I'm going to work. And it happens to me.

And I'm like, what, this is not right. So I get to, I'm on the highway, the interstate. And it just slowly dies on me. Like, it'll chug and then I'll slow down and then I'll give it gas. And when I put my foot on the pedal, it seems to die even quicker. So I make it up to an exit ramp. I get it in neutral. and then I'm just gunning it, you know, trying to blow out something or whatever.

Exactly, of course. That's a time-on-in method. Right. Let's blow it out. So, hey, you know. So it worked. It worked. It never works.

It took a couple of minutes. I went about five miles and hours as the fast as it would go. Yeah. And then finally I was going downhill on the exit ramp going back home, and it opened up, and I made it home going 70s. miles an hour. Well, did the check engine light come on? Yes. The check engine light is on almost all the time. But was it on before this incident? I'm not sure. It probably was. It's always on. Who knows? Who can keep track of stuff like that? One day it's on. The next day it's not on.

Well, first of all, I want to say that I think it's wonderful that you and your neighbors share your truck. I mean, I think that's a very, you. I think that's a very, you know, You know, wonderful thing to do. I'm lucky we have a good neighborhood. Yeah, my neighbors borrow stuff, and I never see it again. Oh, yeah, right. Yeah. Well, I mean, the first thing that comes to mind is that you have either a plugged fuel filter or a bad pump, a bad fuel pump. But I wouldn't just go ahead and replace that.

I mean, you should have somebody at least scan the thing to see if, in fact, the check engine light means anything. Okay. I would go there first. Okay. Okay. But where you go, JP? I mean, since I was so good at picking out what your real name is, I'm not. I'm going to put my reputation on the line again.

And I'm guessing that even though you now live in Richmond, Virginia, that you have not always lived there. That's correct. And I'm going to further guess where you used to live. Wow, you're going to be good if you get this. Baltimore, Maryland. Wow, man. Wrong, huh? Yeah, wrong.

How close? But you're within 20 miles. 20 miles? Yes. Come on. That's it. I call it. that a win.

Yeah, Boomer Island. How did you know? I'm just too good. I'm just too good. Yeah. It's frightening, you know? He is. That is frightening.

Yeah. It is. Unfortunately, that's all that he's good for. Hey, you can't have everything. Hey, thanks for calling, JP. Hey, thank you. See you. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Okay, bye. While you've wasted an otherwise perfectly good hour listening to Car Talk, our esteemed producer is Doug the subway fugitive, Bongo boy Berman. Our associate producers are Louis Cronin the Barbarian, and David, I'll see you and raise your 15,000 dream.

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