The Best of Car Talk - #2658: He's a Genius!

Episode Date: July 21, 2026

Kim’s hubby had his eye on a 4 year old Lexus that was left abandoned at the airport by a burglar after a robbery. Kim’s worried about ‘karma’, but hubby got a great deal on the car. Do ‘the bad vibes’ negate the great price? Find out why not on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us Click and Clack the Tapwood Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the Department of Higher Education here at Car Talk Plaza. Well, specifically higher education at one of the great institutes of technology. Which one is that? The Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Do you know how you have to fill out a course evaluation thing? They ask you for the... They never asked me my opinion.

They never, you know, they never asked me either. This must be a new thing. No. Because no other... I don't think it's new. No. I think they... They didn't want to know.

There was some from whom they wanted no opinions. They didn't want my opinion. Well, they asked the opinion of some people now, and here are some of the choice comments that people made about classes at MIT, specifically, and you may recognize this from whatever school you go to. Here's one. Have you ever fallen asleep in class and awoke in another class? That's the way I felt all term.

I'll just give you a few of these. Here's one. I would sit in class and stare out the window at the school. squirrels. They've got a cool nest in that tree out there. The TA, the teaching assistant, yes, call them TAs. The T.A. improves steadily throughout the course. I think he started drinking and it really loosening them up. The quality of the text? I think the text was written on very high quality paper.

And my favorite, this course was very thorough. What wasn't covered in class was covered on the final exam. And now that's a classic. Well, you know, I do remember taking a few final exams where I actually had to get out of my seat. And check to see if you were in a row row. And check the room number. Exactly. I mean, well, I was at a disadvantage for most of them.

I didn't recognize anyone in the final exam because I seldom went to class. That's right. You count on one hand how many final exams you went to and said, that was pretty easy. On one hand, I can count on one finger. You know, that was true of. All the math courses, but none other. And some of the courses which you thought were going to be easy. Oh, you wondered if you were in the right room.

We're brutal. Like music. Well, you know what? I took one semester of French, and I got a D. And I never made a mistake on any exam that didn't have to do with the placement of the accent. Of the accent. I never got anything wrong. every grammatical thing,

100% like. Yeah, because French is one of those languages where... And Professor Boltea, I'll never forget that bum. If you've an accent, you changed the meaning from, like, heaven to goat. You know. I suppose it was important, but I remember saying to Professor Botelia, but you need to tell me that I'm practically flunking this course

only on the basis of accent marks, because don't forget, I said, if I was speaking to someone rather than writing it down, you wouldn't know if I were putting the accent marks in the wrong place. He said you're a moron. Get out of my mind.

Well, I'm glad you've been able to put that behind you. What was that? Like 45 years ago? 50. Well, look, if you'd like to send us a nasty evaluation, get in line. But if you have a question about your car, we'll happily take your call.

The number is 8888-8-288-2-25. Hello, you're on car talk. Hi, this is, Jamie from Alpine, California. Jamie, where's Alpine? Alpine is in San Diego, East County. I'm about 40 miles east of San Diego up in the hills here. Off in the hills.

Well, that's an appropriate name for someplace up in the hills. Alpine. Yeah, yeah. So what's going on, Jamie? I got myself a 1989 Nissan Pathfinder. Let me give you a little backup on this. This thing has got about 224,000 miles on it. When I drive this thing for, you know, a couple of hours,

hours on the freeway. I've been driving it like 70 miles an hour, or maybe a little above, not that I would do that because that's illegal and all of that. Right, right. But if I've been driving it like that for a while and I start to get off the freeway and I'm sitting there at the exit ramp, I hear this really weird sound coming underneath the hood.

It's kind of this clacking sort of a sound, right? Okay? But after a while, I've been driving on Surface Street, it stops. Now, I also get this sound sometimes in the morning when I first started up for like the first five minutes until the engine warms up.

Got it. Got it. Got it. You like that idea, huh? You're going to stick with that? You know what I'm sticking with? I think I know. My brother's going to write down on a slip of paper what he thinks his idea is. Well, I don't like it. It agrees with mine. Well, I'll see what's your idea is. Okay. What's your say?

No, what are you? I'm not telling what's your say. You have to tell you. I asked your first. You didn't write yours down. How am I going to know if you're telling the truth? I'm written right there. What does it say? It says pick up a loaf of bread on the way home. It says starvation.

Oil starvation. Yes. Oil starvation. What did you write down? No, I didn't like this. I like oil starvation. He wrote down dome lights. It's your dome light, Jamie.

I wrote down sticky valve. Well, you were close. I don't like sticky valve. No, you like oil starvation, huh? I don't like oil starvation. Here's what I think is happening. Go ahead. It's just a wild guess, and I could be wrong.

Well, let's wait. Say that again. It's just a wild guess, and I'm probably wrong. Okay. Go ahead, man. Oil starvation. Yeah, I mean, the reason it happens is that you have either a weak oil pump or a plugged-up oil stream, considering it has 224,000 miles, either one is a very good possibility.

Oh, and I pretty much refuse to service this vehicle. Yeah, we know that. And that includes changing the oil. And it could also be that the oil ain't getting back. Well, it could be that. So here's what happens, I think. You drive the thing along and you're sucking oil out of the pan, which in a sufficient amount when you're going at low speed. But when you take the thing up to 70 miles an hour, you can't suck oil out of the pan fast enough because the screen is plugged up or the pump is weak.

And you don't actually hear the noise until you slow down because of all the other noises that this jalop is making. When you finally slow down to like warp one, you begin to hear the valves making noise because not enough oil is getting to them and they're getting. Filled with air. Now, the remedy for this, you want a remedy? Sure. Change the oil. Simple. Yeah, you ever done that yet, have you?

Not for a year or so. See? See, that's good. Yeah, I think you need an oil change. A couple of them. Maybe a couple of them. Do one Saturday and then do on Sunday. I love this idea.

It's cheap. Yeah. And don't forget, the disclaimer. It's just a wild guess. Yeah. And I'm probably wrong. So if the car blows up, I can call you again. Exactly.

Exactly. You could be unstumped chumps. See you, Jamie. Thanks, guys. All right, bye-bye. That's good. I like that. That was good.

Yeah, I mean, your thought that maybe the oil isn't draining back into the crank case. The crank case is another possibility. And if you haven't changed the oil for a long time, but although this has not happened on the Colt Vista, if you haven't changed oil for a long time, ugly stuff happens and plugs up all. All this stuff's happening to the Vista, all right? Not to mention the fenders which are falling on, but that's another story altogether. 1-888-8-8-8-2-7-8-255.

Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Jennifer. Hi, Jennifer. How are you? I'm doing well. How are you? Actually, I've had a little lower back pain. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Get a new cushion for your car seat. Yeah. Car? Is it way down on the back? Yeah, right? my ankles. Well, I was thinking of another part of the anatomy because you are. You are a lower back pain, man.

Am I a lower back pain already? Tommy is. No, no, you're all right so far, Jennifer. Where are you from, Jennifer? I'm calling you from Lexington, Kentucky. All righty. That's good. But you don't sound like a Kentuckian.

Well, I was born on the other side of the river in Ohio. Oh, okay. Ohioan. That's right. All right. So what can we do for you today? I have a 91 accord, and it's just about due for its 90,000 miles checkup. Oh, which includes a timing belt on this car.

And which costs about $100 more here in Lexington than it does in my parents' hometown, which is a smaller place back up in Ohio. Really? What's the difference in price? I think it's 170 versus 270. And the difference is $100. Well, so here's the question. I'm planning to go to Florida in a couple weeks. Fly.

There we go. You solved all my problems. See, that difference is too much because even if the labor rate were off by a lot, the parts would be pretty much the same price. Well, I don't think... In a small portion of all of this anyway. I don't think either one of these shops is planning to change your water pump. And I believe this car has two belts.

Okay. This has a timing belt and a counterbalance shaft belt. And both should be changed. And I don't think anyone's going to do the timing belt and the water pump and flush the cooling system and all that for 170 bucks. How long is it going to take them to do the work? They want it for an entire, like, four or five hour afternoon. Just an after, because I was figuring that they're shipping it to Mexico. Where the labor rate is six bucks a dollar.

They must have a C-5A waiting in the parking lot. They fill up the whole thing. Right, it might also be six bucks an hour. That's a great idea, you know? But now there are two acute problems that I'm really worried about. Yeah, well, you can't drive to Florida before you do this, if that's one question. The answer is no, you can't do that. Well, what do I do about the fact that it's getting really bad gas mileage to the extent that I wonder if I'm actually losing gas?

Well, that's a separate problem. Yeah. That's a separate problem? Yeah. They'll address that when you have it in. I mean, I'm going to, first of all, you have to ascertain that both people are giving you the same work for the money. Well, I'm telling them, you know, it's the checkup that's in the book. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, wait a minute.

Wait, oh, whoa, whoa. Let's go back a step. This is the 90,000 mile. Yeah. I always use the Freudian slip of a $90,000 checkup. No, no, no, no. This 170 does not include doing anything. this is just for the checkup.

The 270 of the other guys are going to charge you is also to just look. If you consider going to like... Mexico. Well, how about readjusting your planes? Instead of going to Florida, how about Tennessee? Tennessee's closer, and you'll have enough money left to go to Tennessee. Yeah, but the conference is in Florida

and my professor is in Florida this semester. Well, you have to bite the bullet, but you're going to spend many hundreds, especially if you need breaks too. Got it. Okay. But nonetheless, I mean, it does seem as though going to Ohio is going to be worth it. Well, there's no way that I can go to Ohio before going to Florida.

Oh, man. Then you can't drive there. Or you chance it. Yeah, and have it done somewhere like in Arkansas. That'd be a slight detour. A little detour going west. Well, you could chance it, but I wouldn't. Because if it breaks its curtains for this engine, you know that?

Okay. I don't want you to break down halfway there. Thank you. That would be nice. Bye-bye. I appreciate your concern. See you. Thanks, guys.

Bye. Okay, I know you don't remember last week's puzzler, but I'm going to give you two hints that I know are going to jog your memory. All right, go ahead. The richest man in the world. Bill Gates. Right, Gates. Okay.

Good, good. Yeah. Here's a second hint. Yeah. The number of days last week that you decided to stay home and drink cappuccino rather than go to the office. Seven days. There you go.

puzzle is about seven gates and a particularly alluring mango tree. Oh, the mango tree! And I'll have the answer shortly. Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Clack the Tapper Brothers, and we're here to talk about cars, car repair, and the answer to last week's puzzler. But before I do that, I've got to read a quick little email talking about answers to last week's puzzlers. Yeah. Dear Click, I think that's you.

I'm writing in response to your skepticism about the engine oil slash. vacuum cleaner trick in last week's puzzler. You may recall in one of these recent puzzlers, it was about my brother's neighbor Frank, who uses vacuum cleaner to keep the engine oil in while he took out the drain plug. Wow. And put a new gasket on.

Yeah. The drain plug. To which I said, come on. Yeah. I've been a heavy equipment mechanic for 30 years. 30 years. I hear it. And I've used this technique success.

at least 100 times to change suction hoses on hydraulic tanks as large as 500 gallons. The seal of the tank opening doesn't have to be perfect. It's actually helpful to be able to adjust the strength of the vacuum to a low level to keep the vacuum from ingesting oil. My worst experience so far was when a coworker shut the noisy vacuum cleaner off to tell me it was break time. I ended up wearing about 20 gallons of hydraulic oil. Well, wow. So there. Wait, who is this guy?

This guy is John Carrig from God knows where. And what institution is you? No, no, no, no. I have been a heavy equipment mechanic for 30 years and have used this technique successfully at least 100 times to change suction hoses on hydraulic tanks as large as 500 gallons. I wrest my bloody cakes.

Well, is that the equivalent of 100 endorsement? one guy who says he does it a hundred times. If you had a hundred letters like this from people who said they had done it once, I mean it's possible that other people will communicate with us to tell us they had done the same thing. You haven't had any such communication. I haven't had any. You're a liar.

How come this one has your email address as a sender? Okay, this was his last week's puzzler. This was a mathematical puzzler from Inja. It seems there was a mango tree owned by a certain Maharai that had a very sweet and very abundant fruit.

And everyone would come from miles around to pick the fruit. So in order to protect the tree, the owner erected a series of seven fences around the tree, concentric, you know, circular fences. Each fence had a gate with a guard. So to get to the tree, a person had to pass through seven gates guarded by seven guards practically impossible. One day a man approaches the guard at the outermost gate and says, If you let me pass through, when I come back, I will give you half the mangoes I have.

But then you must give me one back. The guard agrees and lets the man go through the gate. The man proceeds to make the same deal with the other six guards, eventually reaching the mango tree. Where a helicopter comes down and helps him to steal 150,000 mangoes. No, no, not really. The question is, how many mangoes did the man have to collect to pass back through the seven gates, giving half of his stash

to each guard and the guard giving one back. Of course, you can't cut me mangoes in half that would be cheating. So the challenge here is to find the number when you divide it by two gives you an odd number

because if you give the guard half of that amount, and you will wind up with an odd number. When he gives you one back, you'll have an even number. And then you want to divide that number by two again and wind up again

with an odd number, so when he gives you one back, your median number, because we all know that odd numbers are not divisible by two. And you can't do it unless the number is two. Wow. Yeah. And we struggled with this. We started with infinity. And we started working backwards. Yeah. And two. Yeah. Yeah. The question is, what if it were only six guards? That's next week. That's next week. But this was quite clever. So who's our winner? The winner is T.J. Hahn from Oak Park, Illinois, and for having the answer picked at random from the bushels of correct answers that we got this week, T.J. is going to get a $25 gift certificate to the shameless commerce division, which is at the cart talk section of cars.com.

You go to cars.com. You click on car talk, and you go to the store, and you get $25 gift certificate. You look at all the things you can buy. You find nothing that you want, and you throw the thing away. That's it. Why not? It was succinct, if nothing else. Anyway, we'll have a new puzzler in the third half of today's show. This is your chance to win, folks. So stay tuned for that. In the meantime, if you have a question about your car or anything else, the number is 888 Car Talk.

That's 888-27-85. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Richard. I'm in Durham, Maine. You know, today we have had towns. Durham. I have never, Durham, Maine, Newton, New Jersey. Jersey. We've had

calls from cities that we know the names of, but they've been in the wrong state. Right. I mean, Durham's supposed to be in North Carolina. Or New Hampshire. Or New Hampshire. Newton's supposed to be in Massachusetts. Trenton's supposed to be in New Jersey. Yeah. And they were all from

the wrong place. Someone's been moving the cities around. I think they're messing with our minds. Hey, what's your name again? I forgot. Richard. His name is still Richard. Is it still Richard? So what's up, Richard? Okay, we have a 1988 Bullsmobile Cutlass Sierra. It has about 125,000 miles on it. We've had it about a year and a half. Ever since we've had it, whenever you go to start it, you can hear the starter engage, and then it immediately disengages and just makes a whirring sound. Right, yeah, yeah.

You know, up until recently, on the second time you do it, the starter engages long enough to start the engine. But now it's getting to be that you have to do it three or four or five times, and it gets a little bit. disconcerting. And you're interested in fixing it, or you just want the explanation? My son is interested in fixing it, because it's basically his car. Oh, he might be able to just do it himself, as a matter of fact. When it does what it does, is it accompanied by any awful noises? It just goes whee-you-hmm.

It starts to engage in the end. Right. It goes, er, whew. Right. The starter kicks out too early. Yeah. Kicks out too early. Right.

In fact, if you could listen to the thing when it was, it goes. wasn't misbehaving, if the engine didn't actually start and make noise that overshadowed this sound, you would hear at the end of the cycle. You would hear the same whing-noise as the starter disengaged. Right. And what's happening is yours is disengaging before it has a chance to turn the engine fast enough to start it. Right.

So it's probably not the starter. Yeah, it is. It probably is the starter. It is. It almost certainly is the starter. Yeah, it's a part of the starter. called the starter drive. Or in the old days,

they used to call it the Bendix drive. The Bendix, yeah. Yeah, named after William Bendix. Yes. Whom nobody can remember anyway. Yeah, this is a classic, you need a starter situation. Yeah, you could have somebody

rebuild the starter. In the old days, we used to take the starters apart, and we used to put new brushes in them, and we used to put a new starter drive on and put them back together. And when they started failing at an, alarming rate, we decided to have them done at a factory. So we buy, in most places now, buy a factory reconditioned starter. Right. And you bolt this thing in, and your problems are over.

Okay, well, that doesn't sound too bad. I was worried that it was some kind of linkage problem or gear problem. No. How old is your son? He's almost 17. This is a perfect job for him. You should go to the parts store. This would be a great father, son. experience. Bonding experience. You go to the parts store, but before you drive the car there. Wait, wait, wait. The kid is 17 years old. He doesn't want to do anything with his father. He's going to. No, he can't even be seen with the guy. Are you kidding? Come on. This may be your last chance to do anything with his son.

Go after the Texas's car, he'll be motivated. I think you drive to the parts store and you're going to say, we need to start a motor. They're going to ask you what size the engine is. You're going to go out to the car, open the hood. There's a decal which tells you the size of the engine. It's probably a 3.8 They're going to ask you if it's an automatic standard. You're going to give them all this information. They're going to give you a starter in a box.

Which is going to be the wrong one. Right. You're going to take it home and you're going to take the old starter out and this one's not going to fit. Then you're going to have to get a ride back to the bus. So they can match it up. But this is all part of the automobile repair experience. And I think you have some tools like sockets and the like at home? Yep.

Do you own jacks? No. Chance to buy jack stands. Oh, great. Right. Don't forget, every repair is an opportunity to buy new tools. Right. And, of course, you don't have a jack either.

No. And you might need a trailer. Oh, yeah. Have you ever thought about taking up fishing? But this starter worker costs you about 900. If you do yourself, if you take it to a gas station, it'll cost you 125 bucks. But I think this might be a one and only chance to buy. bond with your son at age 17.

Okay. Well, good luck, Richard, and don't get hurt. Okay, great. See you later. Thank you very much. Bye, bye. Bye, bye, 1-88-car talk. I've often thought that it would be wonderful.

I mean, you would think that I would have an opportunity to have my sons learn at my knee. At your knee. You'd think they'd be all over you like a cheap suit. Dad, dad, dad, show me how to do a valve job. Yeah. Hey, Dad, Dad, they don't even check the oil. Neither one of them. Can't even get to check the oil.

A couple of knuckleheads. Be sure to stick around for more calls and the new puzzler coming right up. Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, click and clack the Tappert Brothers. And we're here to discuss cars, car repair and the new, I'd have to call it,

for lack of a better term, mathematical puzzler, I guess. Is it one of the string series? Magic Hat series? Oh, I had forgotten. Yo-yo series? I had forgotten. I've put all of those. I have to revive those. Mathematical. Okay, yeah. Go ahead.

Yeah. I like those. Okay. Anyway, who sent this in? Some guy named Norm Leiden from Franktown, Colorado. Okay. Yeah. And you're going to participate in this puzzle, even though you don't know. There'll be a part for you. When your lines come up, I'll cue you. Okay. Okay. I'm impressed that this is written on a piece of paper with a pencil. I am too. That's why I chose it. Absolutely. No emails for this guy. I want to start boycotting emails. The date on it is 1974. I'm a little behind. Oh, did they have pencils then?

Yeah, okay, go ahead. I'm ready to participate. Okay, and I'll just do it the way he did it because I like it. Three different numbers are chosen at random and written on each of three slips of paper. The slips are then placed face down on the table. You got it? The objective is to choose the slip upon which is written the largest. number. Here are the rules. You can turn over any slip of paper and you can look at the amount

written on it. If for any reason you think this is the largest, you're done, you keep it. Otherwise, you discard it and you can't go back and get it. And you turn over a second slip. Again, if you think this is the one with the biggest number, you keep that one and the game is over. And if you don't, you discard that one. And you're stuck with the third one. And you're stuck with the third one. Got it. Okay. Mm-hmm.

And the numbers written on the slips could be anything from anything to anything, any number at all. And there is no way, obviously, to know. So I present you with this little game, and I present it also to Vinny. And here's where your part comes in. I got it. You say, well, that's pretty stupid. Go ahead.

Well, that's pretty stupid. Your chance of getting the highest number is one and three. The chance of getting your highest number is one and three. Vinny, on the other hand, says, Uh-uh. I don't think so. I don't think so. I think you can do better than that.

Now, is Tommy right or is Vinny the moron that we think he is? Is there a strategy by which you can improve the odds from one in three? Now, if you think you know the answer, write that answer on a postcard or teach it to a fully trained rare Amazon parrot and send it in an art deco cage with installed tree branch. And a six-month supply of organic birdseed. It's a puzzler tower. We're really going for the high-end stuff. Puzzler Tower.

Car Talk Plaza, Box 3,500, Harvard Square, Cambridge, Fair City. Matt, 2-2-338. Attention, Vinnie. Or, of course, you can email your answer from the Car Talk section of Cars.com. If you'd like to call us, the number is 1-888-8-8-2-7-8-25. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Kim from Washington State. Hi.

How are you? What's the city? You want to divulge. Tacoma. So what's up, Kim? Well, I've listened to you guys enough to know that you're great marriage counselor. Yes, indeed. And so what I need to know, this has to do with cars, trust me.

I need to know who was more stupid, me or my husband. We don't use words like that, Kim. Oh, you don't? No. How about idiot? We'll get to that. You'll go ahead and tell us the problem. And we'll tell you the proper method of communication because we've been in therapy on this for a long time.

I knew. Trying to learn the lingo, you know what I mean? And the words moron and stupid are to be eschewed. Okay. Okay, go ahead. Give us the story. My husband. That moron.

I'll put in the parentheses. Right. He'll put in the parentheticals. So the words don't come out of your mouth. My husband, that moron. My husband, that blank. Yeah. Okay.

He found a Lexus that was abandoned at the airport. Oh. And he decided it was there for three years. I sought to. Every time we flew out, there's that Lexus. Pretty soon it's got grass growing around it. It has a boot on it, you know, so nobody can steal it, right? Really?

So he decides he has to have it, so he purchases the Lexus. From whom? From the bank. because the guy that abandoned it never made a payment on it and quit paying the airport. Okay, so it was a brand new car. It was in 1994. Okay, so he owed the bank $22,000, and the parking lot he owed him $19. And they made a deal.

Right. Right. They made a deal. But I was concerned about the car because of what he found in the car. What he found was bolt cutters and shoe covers and one of those key punch things, you know, that you punch out the lock of a car. Oh. Yes. And he found the dome light was disconnected, and then the lights on the doors were taped over.

So whoever was using this car was using it to, in some nefarious enterprise. Yeah. Wow. I'm feeling like we need to go in witness protection. So does he have this car now? Oh, God, yes. He has the car. Did you get it running? Of course.

It's running. And it runs well. It runs well. But you're all worried that it has... I want it out of our sight. Yeah, it has dragon tracks as the Chinese side. It's just got bad vibes. You ain't just...

Well, how much did he pay for it, all told? Well, see, here's where you guys are going to think that he's not so dumb. He paid $4,000 for it. He's a genius. Really? Between the bank and the parking place and getting the boot removed, what a deal. Like, guys, a genius.

Oh, shoot. Well, you know, I'm going to tell you, Kim, before you go on, that this is every guy's dream. Oh, God. It is. I mean, there's nothing better. I mean, I guess women don't respond to this like guys do, but there's something euphoric about getting something for nothing. I mean, he practically got the car for nothing.

And men are somehow susceptible to these, you won't believe this. You know, the too good to be true thing. I mean, there were years and years and years in which guys would show up at kinds of auctions, government auctions, where they were expecting to get a complete. Jeep, albeit in pieces. In a crate for $50 left over from World War II. And when those ran out, they were going to sell them the jeeps from World War I. And you can't believe the millions of men who showed up for these things because they believed this to be true.

That was the first million man March, actually. They were all going to the... Was it the government? It was the post office. Because someone had mailed a few hundred thousand of these jeeps in crates. It's no surprise that your husband succumbed to the lure of this Lexus. He couldn't help himself because in his mind this was the Jeep that he never got when he was 17. He became quite upset.

So I hope you're going to understand it in that context. Okay. That doesn't mean he is not a moron. Yeah. But it's almost redundant. To call him a moron because he's a guy. There you go. I thought this was going to be easy.

No. No, no. But I do agree with you that there are certain dragon tracks associated with this car. Yeah. But you may be able to visit someone to get them removed. The dragon tracks. He had it detailed last couple days ago. I don't think details do that.

Yeah, they do your white walls. Dragon tracks. Dragon tracks. That's different departments. I'm afraid to tell you what I did, because now you're going to say I'm a complete idiot. I haven't even told you my part. What I bought. Oh, I know what you bought.

You bought the whole ginsu knife set. No, no, no, it was not that done. My wife did the same thing. It goes into the garage and he glances over at what I bought, and then I have no argument. Oh, you bought a car? Yeah. I got it. Okay.

A hummer. No. I bought a 1966 Volkswagen camper van. Oh, man. Well, look, if you dumped this guy, call us. We'll marry you. Oh, you're so well. Those are cool.

Was it in great shape? It's in perfect shape. It's beautiful. I have to say I came very, very close recently to buying one. Yeah. And he also came very close at the same time to being divorced. Yeah, well. Again.

Yeah. But enjoy, well, I don't think, I mean, I certainly side with you and your move. I think you did a wise thing. Drive it carefully because it's a dangerous vehicle. As long as you use it judiciously. I do. And you wear an NFL-approved football helmet when you drive it. In knee pads, you'll be all right.

Well, an answer to my question then. What was the question? Was there a question? Who was the stupidest? Oh. Oh, he was, obviously, because he just bought a Lexus. You bought a legend. Oh, I love that line.

That's worth needlepoint. Kim, it's been a pleasure talking to you for the last 45 minutes. Maybe we can do this again sometime. Thank you. See you later. Good luck. Bye, bye, bye, bye. Well, she made my day.

Well, it's happened again. You vaporized another perfectly good hour listening to Car Talk. Our esteemed producer is Doug the subway fugitive. Bongo Boy. We just can't shake that Bongo Boy image. It's so perfect. Bongo Boy, Berman. Our social producers, are Louis Cronin.

He's got Bugsie to thank for that, by the way. He does, indeed. And David, I wonder if they allow double wides in Cambridge Green. Our engineer is Tad Massaman Curry. Our senior web lackey is Doug Yak-Boy Mayor, and our technical, spiritual, and menu advisor, just back from his lackluster performance at the Walla Walla Curry lentil loaf off

is John Bugsy Waller. Our public opinion pollster is Paul Merkey of Mercky Research, assisted by statistician Marge in Overa. Our customer care representative is Haywood Jabuzov. Our document security expert from the island of Jamaica is Euripides Upman, who is not related to our tailor, Euripides, I Menides, or to our staff bounce Euripides, I break your face,

or to the proprietor of our men's bowling shop, Euripides, Eonides. Our divorce attorney is Carmine, not yours. Our staff archivist is Bernadette File. Our bullfighting intern currently on medical leave is Gordon Head. Gordon. Our sexual harassment investigator is Hank Panky. Our meteorologist from the New Delhi office is Luke out of Vindo.

Our director of Pavlovian research is Isabel ringing. Our Shakespearean waiter is coffee and on. Our Russian chauffeur is peek off and drop off The banker at the car talk poker games Is Nikolai put in And our seat cushion tester is Mike Easter We're going to need bigger offices And the staff is expanding at a geometric rate

Isabel ringing Our chief counsel from the law firm of Dewey Cheeverman How Is Hugh Lewis Dewey Known to the snow-shoeing meter maids in Harvard Square As Ui Louis Dewee Thanks so much for listening We're click and clack to Tappert Brothers Don't drive like my brother

Don't drive like my brother We'll be back next week Bye-bye. Car Talk is a production of Dewey Cheatham and Howe in WBUR in Boston. And even though Darwinians consider adding a survival of the dimest corollary, whenever they hear us say it, this is NPR National Public Radio.