The Best of Car Talk - #2661: The Dreamsicle-Mobile

Episode Date: August 1, 2026

JoAnne’s kid at least has imagination. And he wants his first vehicle to be an ice cream truck. Not for it’s fine handling on the freeway or the high output motor, but more likely for the fun of bouncing around the neighborhood and blasting a nursery rhyme on his horn while pulling a ‘Klondike Bar’ out of one of the freezer compartments. Is this the best ever ‘first car’ or the worst? Find out what our two ‘Screwballs’ think on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us Click and Clack to Tabbert Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the PT Barnum Division here at Car Talk Plaza. Now, here's a product that someone undoubtedly will buy. I mean, otherwise, they wouldn't be making it, right? Well, I mean, for those few people out there who still think that maybe the automobile companies could do something smart, this will tell you that you... Or responsible. Or responsible.

You can just give up on this idea because our pals diamond. Lach Chrysler, are introducing a new vehicle. It's called a Unimog, and it's an SUV to end. You think the excursion was big? This thing is 20 feet long. It weighs 12,500 pounds, which is the equivalent of two Chevy Suburvents or a Tyrannosaurus Rex. That's how much a Tyrannosaurus rex weighed, 12,500 pounds. these guys are making this vehicle.

At least a Tyrannosaurus Rex could take out a few trees in your yard if you needed it. Maybe this could too, actually. You're going to be driving down the road and this thing, which is also like 10 feet tall and wider than a Hummer, is going to be right behind you on your tail. It's completely ridiculous. However, our goal here today is not to tell you how stupid the automobile industry is. But simply to say that the thing has the wrong name. Unimog?

I mean, what's Unimog mean? Unimog doesn't mean anything. It must be an acronym, you figure. If you go online and you can read the old New York Times stuff a couple of weeks ago, they had a big story about this, like giving all the dimensions and all that jazz. But we'd like to come up with some other names for it. I mean, because I don't think Unimog is right. And we should help them.

I mean, someone suggested the Daimler source. I like that. Chrysleros sounds good too. The Unismog. And I like the, I think David Green came up with I'm a hog. I like the I'm a hog. I'm a hog. But if you have other suggestions for naming this, either write to us.

Or an explanation for this acronym here. Or an explanation for it. Yeah, what does Unimog really stand for? Either way, you can either write to us at Box 3500, Cambridge, Massachusetts. Or you can go to our website, the Cart Talk section of, cars.com. There'll be a, of course, we'll have the necessary stuff there, and you can tell us what you think the name of this hog should be and what we should write to Daimler-Kreisler, what we should say to them. Indeed. I mean, I don't know what to say. I've given up. All right. I've given up on

them. I've given up on the entire automotive industry. Well, look, now that you've gotten that out of your system, it's kind of. It's not completely out, but it's close. Are you ready to give out some of your patented, bad car advice? Yes, I am. Okay, the number is 8888-8-8-2-278-255. That's not a phone number. Hey, guys. Hey, who's this?

This is Russ. I'm from Connecticut, but I'm up in Kiddory, Maine right now, so it's kind of confusing. Cut you. Yeah, what are you doing up in Kitterrey in the winter? Well, actually, I learned a ski, but I'm a chief of a boat on a submarine. I'm up here in a shipyard. Oh, the Portsmouth Naval Shipyard. Yeah, that's it.

Yeah. Which is in Kittery. Yeah, it really is. Tell me about that. Well, yeah, I mean, what's with that? It was done to confuse the Russians. I try to confuse the Russians. The shipyards actually on an island in the middle of the river that's the border between Maine and New Hampshire.

What's your chief responsibility, so speak? Well, right now I'm the chief of the boat, so I'm the senior enlisted guy on the submarine. Oh. But what I've done for most of my time in the Navy is I've been a torpedoment. Hey, my brother happens to have a boat. He's a mechanic, and so it's almost redundant. He has a... Could you, like, hire yourself out to be chief of his boat someday?

Well, how much is he paying? Pay? For the right money, I can probably be... I'll be there. Want to make a deal right now? Well, we could, huh? So, you got torpedo problems, submarine problems, or car problems? I got car problems.

Cool. I got an 87 Jeep Cherokee, and it's got a hydraulic clutch. Yeah. And this is what it does. Somehow it gets air. It's like it gets air in there, and it kind of goes away. You really notice it on the interstate, you drive it for a long distance, and you have to actually pump the clutch,

like you'd pump brakes on an old car that weren't working. And you pump it up, and then it releases, and you can shift. And around town, it's not too bad. It sits overnight. It's much better in the morning. And I recently drove it to Florida, and when I, you know, down there in the heat and the warmth of Florida, it was much worse.

You drove this thing? What are you nuts? You're listening all the way to Florida? Yeah. How do you know where he started? from. He might have started from South Carolina. He started from Kittery, I'm sure. Yeah, and I brought it back here, too.

No kidding. Did you drive all the way by yourself? No, I took my son with me. Does he drive? Yep, well, he got his license on Wednesday, and we left on Friday. He does now. And did you drive straight through or did you lay over somewhere? We drove straight through.

How long did it take? About 21 hours. 21 hours? Wow. Hey. Not big. We're planning a little trip like that, the boys. Yeah, we feel we'll be making 48 hours.

So anyway, let's get back to your problem. Well, forget this problem. We need to clutch master cylinder. So, on this trip, where are the best places to eat? Well, wherever you buy gas. That bad, huh? Yeah, well, you know, you can't be, you're going to make it in 21 hours. You can't be stopping and messing around.

So anyway, Russ, it's the consensus opinion here that you need a clutch master cylinder. unless you tell us you've replaced it already. But see, why is it different on the interstate than driving around town? Because it is temperature sensitive because what's happening is the fluid is sneaking past the seal. Oh, oh! I thought about that. And the diameter of the seal is temperature sensitive. Yeah.

I mean, we're not really 100% sure of any answers. Well, for example. But in this case, we're pretty close to 100% sure of this. Okay. Are we in agreement on this? Imagine you have a torpedo in the tube. And someone heats up the tube. The tube gets bigger.

So the torpedo is going to be loose in there. Right. Hey, you want to drive down to Florida with us? We could use it on a driver. You guys stupid dive? Not yet. Hey, Russ, nice talking to you. Okay.

See you later. Thanks for call it. It's like a busman's holiday, right? The guys have a submarine for 10 months out of the year. He goes to the car. He goes scuba diving. Okay, I can't figure. Well, maybe he likes that stuff.

Maybe he should have been a fish. 1-888-court-taught. That's 888-227-8-255. Hello, you're on car talk. Tom and Ray, this is Will Shorts. No kidding. No kidding. Well, Frost my shorts.

The name that you use in Vade week after week. We've been kind to you lately. I had a question about last week's puzzle. Will Shorts, for those of you who don't know, everyone knows who Will Shorts. No, of course not. Is the New York Times? If everyone knew who Will Shorts was, he'd be rich. He's the puzzle editor of the New York Times.

And I do the puzzle every week with Leanne Hanson on Weekend Edition Sunday. Yeah. So what do you call me? You probably noticed. the poor quality of our puzzler lately. Maybe you call to offer some words of encouragement. Actually, I do have a puzzle for you later, but I have a legitimate car problem, too. All right, okay.

I have a 1992 sob. Wait, wait, do we get reciprocal thing? I mean, can I call you when I'm really stuck on 23 across? Sure, why. For 95 cents a minute, you can call and get answers on the Ties puzzle. Is that what it costs? I want it right from the horse's mouth. I want to run right from the horse's shorts.

I'll be your free 900 number of calls. So anyway, you were saying? I have a 92 sob. And for the last couple of months, there are times when the car simply doesn't start. It usually happens at night, often when it's cold, sometimes after it's snowed. And I just, the car simply won't start. Especially when you're in a place you don't want anyone to know you're supposed to be at. And when I try, maybe when I try the car the next morning, the engine starts up perfectly.

Yeah. And I took it to my dealer, who checked. every wire and everything that he thought it could be. And, of course, when I took it to the dealer, the car was working fine. They kept it for several days. It kept working fine, so they really couldn't trace the problem back. Do you have an alarm system? Yes.

Do you have an automatic transmission? Yes. Do you know the answer to the seven down? I do have an ignition cutoff system. Oh, you do? I never use it, basically, because I live in a safe neighborhood, and I park my car in my driveway. But the ignition cutoff only cuts off the ignition so that if you were to engage that thing, it would crank.

It would turn the key, but it just wouldn't fire up. Is that true? When I turn the ignition, there's absolutely nothing. Oh, no, no. But when you engage the cutoff, the ignition cutoff, you said. It's the same thing. There's nothing. Oh, it's wired that way. Yeah.

So it isn't just an ignition. It's a starter cut off. Yes. So it could be that that's malfunctioning or engaging when you don't want it to. Yeah. And that would be my first guess. Yeah. My advice would be to disconnect it.

Uh-huh. Yeah, that would be my first guess, too. Yeah. Other guesses would be the starter, the ignition switch. Or the neutral safety switch. Or the neutral safety switch since you have an automatic transmission. Uh-huh. When it does it again, take it out of park and put it into neutral and see if it'll start.

And jiggle it, jiggle the shifter. Oh, that's interesting. You know, a couple of times I've been able to make it work by, well, once I opened the hood, and shut it again, and then the car started fine. That's the Microsoft approach. Yeah, so I... Ah, you open the hood and shut it again. Yeah.

I'm going back to the alarm system that you have. Me too. Uh-huh. You went to puzzles besides crossword puzzles? Any kind of puzzle. Oh, yeah. Sure you are. Let me give you a quick puzzle on the air.

Go ahead, man. Well, this will be a bonus puzzle for our listeners. Here you go. The name's sob. has only A's as vowels. Infinity has only I's, and Volvo has only O's. What 12-letter auto name has only

E's as vowels? Mercedes? There you go. Good going. Jeez. That's how you spell Mercedes. Starts with an E! I'll give you one more. This is a harder one.

All right. Wait, wait, didn't you say 12 letters? Mercedes-Benz. Oh, Benz. Oh, yeah. I forgot the Ben's part. Well, you've got another one for us? Go ahead. Here's a tougher one, and this is, I would not expect you to get off the top of your head.

Take the name of an old make of automobile, change the first letter to get the name of a current make of auto. Now, I'll tell you an almost answer to this puzzle is Rio and Geo. Well, I wrote Rio the very first time you said that old car. Yeah, but they don't make, geos, those aren't made anymore. Those aren't made anymore. That's right. There is another answer. Okay, that's good.

Okay. So there you go. We'll get right on that one. Well, I appreciate your answer to my problem. All right. Thanks for calling, Will. Thank you. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.

Wow. All right. Will Shorts. He'd give you his home number if he thought he could trust you with it. It's time to coax you toward remembering last week's puzzle. All right, coax away, baby. Your wife threw you out of the house because you had blank. Fleas?

No, I was looking for words. You had words. Oh, that's right. That's a euphemism, you know. Here's the second one. When someone asks your teenage daughter if you're her father, she says, no way, he's not even blank to me. Human? No, I was looking for related.

Related to me. Related to me. Related to me. Related to me. Related to me. Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers. Here to talk about cars, car repair, and the answer to last week's puzzler.

And for those of you who think my brother's just another pretty face. That doesn't include my wife, by the way. She doesn't even think I'm up to start her right. And what she thinks of you? We can't repeat on the year. My brother, in a second, solved Will Shorts's little puzzle. Oh, it took more than a second. I mean, all right, 20 seconds.

The deal was you take a name of an old car, you replace the first letter, and you get the name of a currently made car. And the answer is... And it's not the model, it's the make of car. It's the cord and the Ford. Ha, Will? Where's Will? What, do you really need them?

Well, there may be others, but I think that's certainly an acceptable answer. That's the one that jumped right out of it. Right. It only works if the number is two. It only works if the number is two. Anyway, to get back to the business at hand, this last week's puzzle was a non-automotive, non-historic, non-phulgloric, non-obfuscated word puzzle. Oh, yeah.

And here's what I did. I gave out a list of words, and the assignment was to tell me what those words had in common. And I'll repeat the list. deft, as in no one would ever call my brother deft. No, I hear perfectly. Are you deft in one ear? First, my brother came in first in the ugly contest. Calmness.

A calmness set in as my brother left the room. Canopy. Past the canopies, said Bugsy. No, that wasn't it. A canopy covered the entrance to the garage, so my brother wouldn't get wet when he got up in the middle of the night. laughing my brother's mental condition is no laughing matter stupid don't even don't easy crab cake i won't go there either

don't go there either no hijack as in the hijacker gave up immediately when he realized my brother was one of the passages wow well you could actually solve it just by just using the two words. Really? Yeah. Deft and first. What all of these words have in common is they all contain three consecutive letters of the alphabet. Oh.

Is that sneaky? So they do. D-E-F-R-S-T, L-M-N, N-O-P, and Kenepy. O-P. G-H-I in laughing, et cetera, et cetera, S-T-U and stupid. Very, very good. A-B-C and crab cake. Do we have a word?

winner? I-J-H-I-J. Yeah, yeah, we do. You didn't trust me, did you? Just go out. No, I didn't. Yeah, we have a winner. It's John Leet, L-E-E-E-T-E from Arlington, Virginia, and for having his answers selected at random from the back hole full of correct answers that we got, John is going to get a $25 gift certificate to the Shameless Commerce Division, which is at the Car Talk section of Cars.com. And with that $25 gift certificate, John can get a best-of-car talk cassette. or a CD or so many things that I can't even begin. I already did begin, didn't I? You already see that.

I can't even end. Anyway, we'll have a new puzzle coming up in the third half of today's show, so stay tuned for that. In the meantime, our number is 888-car talk. That's 888-227-8-255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, Aaron. This is Aaron calling from Vancouver. Hi, Aaron. One-A or two?

It's actually just one-A, if you believe that. Really? just like the king. That's right. Whoa. Of course, my brother's referring to Elvis Presley. Yeah. Anyway, I just purchased a 94 Mazda pickup to B-2,300.

Yeah. Now, I got a pretty sweet deal on this, but this little pickup has a little bit of a history. So I did take a risk. However, a situation is there's some sort of lubricant that seems to be leaking underneath the dash panel. And it's right in the center, and it shows up. I'll clean it up. It shows up again. It's right in the center from left to right?

Yeah, it's almost like under a heat ductors of some sort. But, you know, I look into the engine. It's a small four-cylinder, 2.3 liter. There's not much engine back there, and I just have no idea. What color is this thing? What color is the engine of the food? We don't need to know what color is. The truck.

The truck. What color is the truck? The fluid and the carpet. The truck is red, right? Okay. Now, the truck is silver. Okay. And the fluid is like a brown-based lubricant. some sort of, it feels like oil in your fingers.

Does it have air conditioning? No, it doesn't. Okay, it's a really... I'm just sitting on B-23. They don't even have windows. I'm lucky I got. It's got an airflow whatsoever. All right, I was asking.

I'm just trying to narrow it down. It's brown and it's slippery. Yeah, like it's slick. Could it be break fluid? That's a good call. Break fluid? Sort of slippery. That's right.

All we got to do now is get it to the... the middle of your dashboard. And that's going to be a problem. Where's the brake, or that, what is it, a brake booster? The master cylinder is on the other side of the firewall. Yeah, but it's, unfortunately, not in the center. Right. But this is a, this is a manual shift?

It is, high speed. It could be leakage from the clutch master cylinder. Okay. Now, would that force anything to do with a clutch, like, you know? Eventually, it would become difficult. to shift and then impossible to shift. Okay. Here's the other thing that comes to mind, and I don't know what Canadian vehicles are like

and whether this thing has a vehicle speed sensor or a speedo cable, but the other source of these kinds of underdash leaks is a spenometer, seal. There's a cable on cars of yesterday, all cars had a cable that ran from the transmission to the back of the spenometer. And this truck, being in 94, may still have one. The seal could be gone. allowing transmission fluid to travel up the cable, leak out the end of the cable,

and then kind of travel on the outside of the cable, and drip down near the middle of the dashboard, and that's the thing I like the most. I like it. That sounds great. Doesn't it? I'll try it. And what we're saying is the stuff is not coming directly

from someplace and dropping down in the middle of the dashboard. It's traveling along some wires. It's traveling along some wire. That sounds good. Yeah. Stick your gnauggan under there, Aaron. Okay. You'll see it.

You'll say, aha. You'll see that little drop on the bottom of a Y. You'll trace it back, and you'll say, uh-huh. And then you'll realize you needn't have wasted 10 minutes with us. See you. Thanks, well, boys. Take care. 1-8-88-88-48-8-28-2-27-8-25.

A lawyer on car talk. Hi, my name's Alicia. I'm calling you from Southern Illinois. Elycia? E-L-C-I-C-A? A-L-C-I-C-A. Very good. Like Elycia Silverstone.

Yeah. But you don't have to associate me with her. I just... Who is she? Who's she? She's an actress. Yeah. He's a bimbo.

She's a bimbo? Oh, I didn't think. I thought she's very cute. I don't... You didn't think she was a bimbo because she's very cute? She's cute. Well, you can have to be. There's a big difference with being cute and being a bimbo.

That's right. I'm cute. Is she prettier than me? I'm prettier than you. Oh, God. Oh, man. It just goes to show you how a man's mind works. Is she a bimbo?

No, she's cute. I mean, you're on a different wavelength completely. Am I? You're not a sensitive man of the 90s. 90s are gone, man. They're history. What's up, Alicia? Well, I have a 92 Nissan King Cab pickup,

and when you let up on the clutch, it goes, And when you put the clutch back in, it stopped doing it. Oh, in other words, when you've released the clutch and it's all the way released, the noise continues? That's when it starts. When you're letting the clutch out. And it stays. I mean, it doesn't go away.

No, it goes until you're about 25 miles, 25 to 30 miles per hour. Then it stops. It's just when you're in the low gears. 92. Have you ever had the clutch replaced? We just had the clutch replaced. Ooh. Yeah, I thought it was that, too.

And did you go back and discuss this issue with the guys who replaced the clutch? Well, it happened so long after the clutch was replaced. We thought that it didn't have anything to actually do with the clutch that was replaced. Never stopped any of my customers. Remember that tune up you did in 1987? Well, my radio was just blue. You sure you didn't have a pen in your pocket when you leaned over the hood? Really?

So even, so, let me get this right. So when you shift from first to second, when you switch from first to second, when you step on the clutch, the noise goes away. Right. And then you put the thing into second gear. As you begin to engage the clutch, the noise begins to return. Again, yes. Again. Until you get to 30 miles an hour, the matter how many times you've shifted in between.

Right. What if you slowed down below 30? Will it come back? Yes. It'll come back. Yes. And my husband, when we first bought the truck, it'll come back?

He looked at it and he thought, yeah, they told him that. something was wrong with the rear differential and told us to never downshift. So I took that to heart and I've never downshifted, but he does, and he says it comes back when it downshifts. She's, the problem is not in the differential. I'd be hard-pressed to believe that. No, no, no, no, no. I am convinced, however, that the problem is in the transmission itself. Oh, that would make sense.

And that would be awful. Yeah, I think the first thing I would do right now, hang up the phone, run out, and check the transmission. oil level. Okay, well, now he thought it might be the throwout bearing. So a couple weekends ago, he took the thing apart. And of course, when he did so, it totally emptied out the transmission fluid. And then he filled it all back up again. Oh, really? Yeah. And the noise came back after he put it back together. And it was not the throwout bearing. No, it can't, it is not the throwout bearing. It can't be the throwout bearing. And now we know that the transmission is full. Right. We know that.

Oh, boy. And he drained out the transmission, and there. And there's not. And he drained out the transmission, and there was plenty of stuff that came out? Well, it was all over him. It looked like a lot to me. I had to wash his clothes, so... I'm afraid that I have to agree with my brother that it's inside the transmission. If you're taking this to anyone?

Has anyone been able to reproduce this, like, on the lift? No, we haven't taken it to anyone. He's been talking to friends who work on cars and things trying to figure out what's wrong. That approach. You know. Yeah. That approach.

Your home car is doing a rugged individualist. He's going to fix this himself. If it kills it. No matter how many pairs of shirts it takes. Yeah, I'll end up buying him a whole new wardrobe, but would have been cheaper to take the car in. Okay, I've got one last hope for you. Okay. Really?

I'm going to cross my fingers here. Oh, you better cross your toes, too. Okay, got them. I think it's possible that the starter motor gear is hitting the flywheel No No no no

She slows down The noise comes back But it's all related to stepping on the clutch And It's the transmission You're done for I tried You did try

But it ain't gonna work man So just take the car to the dump And leave it Well no here's what I would do put the vehicle up so that all four wheels are off the ground. And it's standing on stands, not on cinder blocks. And then you're going to run the truck. One guy goes underneath and one person gets in the truck.

And I think the person underneath should be armed with some kind of listening device. Okay. Like a paper cup. Yeah, literally, a paper cup are a short piece of rubber hose. You know, like a piece of garden hose or whatever. And I think it'll be painfully obvious where the noise is coming from. Right. Yeah.

Gee, I'm hoping it's the starter motor. Well, I hope so, too. That'd be a lot less expensive. Good luck, Lisa. Thank you so much. We love you guys. Hi, bye. Bye-bye. Okay, look, it's time for us to take a little break. Why?

Because it's time! So what? Is it we're going to end if we don't take a break? No. Would NPR go off the air if we didn't take a break? No. I'm sick of this mindless conformity. I'm sick of being a slave to the clock.

What about the spontaneity? Innovation. Good old American ingenuity. What did that happen to that? Hey, Bugsie just brought in some donuts. Let's take a break. We're back. Don't wake me up like that.

We're listening. We're not listening. You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Collect the Tappert Brothers. And we're here to discuss, of course, cars, car repair, end of the new puzzler. Yeah. Which I guess would have to be mathematical in nature.

I love them. You do. I really do. I don't get most of them, but I like that. They just feel good, you know? Just remember this. It only works. You can't do it.

Unless the number is. Well, that's a hint. That's a hint to the new puzzler. Yeah. Is it about mango trees? Close. Banana trees. Here's the deal.

Potato trees. Why don't potatoes grow on trees? I'm going to give you a $1,000 bills. $1,000. Oh, I know this puzzle. Okay. And you're going to give me a bunch of envelopes. I'm not going to give you no stinking envelopes.

It costs a penny of your piece. Get your own damn envelopes. I just gave you a thousand bucks. You can afford your own. You want everything? Okay, you're going to give you $1,000 bills. And you're going to come up with 10 envelopes. What is that puzzler?

Okay. And your assignment is to figure out a way to configure those envelopes, i.e., to put various numbers of dollar bills in these different envelopes, so that no matter what amount of money I ask you for, you can hand me some combination of envelopes. And always be assured of giving me... So if I say, give me $637, that would be envelope number one, envelope number six, and envelope number two. There you go.

And here you go, $637. Right. So no matter what number I ask for, between one and a thousand, you'll be able to give me the appropriate envelope or envelopes. Do you like it? I do. And I love... I'm not going to even mention it. I'm not going to say anything about it

because I think I know how to do it. And I don't want to give away any hints. What? How is this different from any other puzzle? Now, if you think you know the answer, write it on a postcard or on the back of a hand-carved Victorian-era,

white Italian marble fireplace mantel, 52 inches of wide, and sent it to Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3,500, Harvard Square, Cambridge. Our Fair City. Matt 02238.

Or you can email your answer from the Car Talk section of Cars.com. By the way, we did receive, although it wasn't a yacht, we did receive some nice hats from the nice, the kind people at Hinkley Yachts. Yeah. I mean, I just assume that the yacht is in the mail. I presume that the picture they sent this is the one they're sending us. I think so. The yacht's in the mail.

I've heard that before. The yacht's in the mail. Yeah. And they sent us a couple of nice little key chains because I guess you need a key. To start the yacht. There were no keys on those key chains. Yeah, that bothered me. That troubled me a little bit.

Yeah. Well, we'll see what happens. We'll see what happens with the Italian marble fireplace. There's always hope. 1-888-8-8-8-8-8-2-7-8-25-5. Hello, you're on car talk. Hi, this is Joanna from Dallas, Texas. Hi, Joanna.

Yes. What are we doing for you today? Oh, I need major help. Okay, what's up? I have a 16-year-old son who's in the market for a car. Oh, man. But it's not just any car. He wants an ice cream truck.

Does he? Yes, he does. He must have seen that Cheech and Chong movie. Exactly. You got it. She doesn't want a milk truck so we can drive standing up. We've talked about this. I've suggested those things.

But it's an ice cream truck he wants. So, we went to look at one. You actually went to... Where the heck did you find it? He found it over the Internet, and it actually was in Texas. It was. Of course. How far did you have to drive to look at it?

About an hour. Oh, that's not bad. Yeah, three and miles. In pouring rain. Yeah. But it's a... Now, it's the difficult part. It's a 1969 GMC ice cream truck.

Yeah. That's old. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah. There aren't any new ice cream. But whatever parts you can't buy for this, you can make out of clay.

That's kind of what it looked like. Or coat hangers. You're describing it exactly. Maybe you asked this question and you didn't get a satisfactory answer. Why? Why? He said it would be cool. And, you know, I've got to count my blessings that he doesn't want.

He doesn't want a Viper. He doesn't want a Z-3. Exactly. One of those stupid cars. He wants an ice cream truck. and I think this is a wonderful thing. This shows that you have done something right raising this kid. All real wacky.

Well, both. But anyway, so I went to see this thing. And, you know, neither one of us are real mechanics. Yeah. And I drove this thing, and first of all, if there had been any people on the street, I would have run out from because there was minimal visibility, but I suspect that could be fixed. But it's also, there's a lot of rust, and it has, it's automatic but doesn't have power steering,

which was a challenge for me. Yeah. Not that I'll be driving it, but if I lose my job. If you will, when he borrows your car. It'll be something to fall back on. Yeah. And like when he parked it, things fell off. Well, probably they were unnecessary.

So you would actually consider driving this thing as a backup vehicle if you had to? Oh, sure. Oh, I want to meet you. Well, I think you should go for this thing. Before you plunk down the $75 bucks they want for it, you should try to get it someplace to see if it's sound of body. Yeah, I mean, the same thing applies to ice cream trucks as applies to any used car that you buy. You can't trust you or your son or your neighbors or anybody else to evaluate the car.

You've got to take it to someone who can really check it all out. I'm worried that it would get there, but okay. Well, I mean, and the trouble is that the thing is an hour away, so that's going to be difficult to do. But you really have to have someone check out everything. I mean, first I've got to check out the frame to make sure it's not rusted away. Because if it's cosmetic rust, you can fix that or forget about it. And it may need kingpins.

It may need breaks. And at the same time that you have it checked, you need to find out what the availability of parts is, too. Yeah. But if you're satisfied that the thing is, sound or can be made sound for not much money. That's what he thinks. Yeah, well, of course he thinks.

He doesn't know. He's dreaming. He's in love. He doesn't know. He's nuts. But if someone who doesn't have a stake in this can give you an opinion about it. Uh-huh. And that opinion is that it could be actually made into a viable motor vehicle.

Right. Then you should do it. And you can saw, I mean, you could, because it has those, that big expanse of sheet metal on the side, you can have someone put windows. and so it's improved the visibility. You could just carve a big hole in the side. Yeah, I mean, since he's not going to use it as an ice cream truck, we presume. Yes.

And the ice cream truck part of it probably doesn't work anyway. Well, actually, it does. It does. Which was a plus to him, but it even has the freezer. It does. And it works. But, and the music plays and the light goes around. Oh!

But the problem is there's no air conditioning. Oh, of course not. No, when you get too hot, you jump in with the ice creams. Hey, that's exactly what he said. What are they asking for this thing? Well, they were asking 1800. I'll take it. I love it.

I know. I can understand how he could fall in love. And you just don't want to fall in love with something that's going to be headaches for the rest of your life. I've done that before. Yes, so have four of his wives. I've done that. Well, you have a wholehearted support in this endeavor. Yeah.

We're not going to try to talk you out of it because we think it's a great idea. Yeah. I mean, is your son, forget the question. I was going to say, as he's sane, but he's 16 years old, so that's a ridiculous question. Of course he's not. Is he in any way responsible? Nah, that's a ridiculous question, too. Is he in the band?

Does he play in the band of school? Not the band, but... He's into music. He's into music, yes. He is. Is he in the drama club? No. He should be.

No kidding. But when you do buy the thing, send us a picture of you behind the wheel. We'll send you pictures. See you later. Okay, bye. It's like wanting a pony. Well, I always wanted a pony. I got a pony.

You did? Oh, yeah, you didn't know that? I got a pony. Well, you, they told me I couldn't have a pony. As soon as you went off to college, you got me a pony. You didn't know that? Oh, yeah. They were waiting for you to leave, man.

Oh, man. Oh, yeah. Shemp was his name. Well, it's happened again. You've misspent another perfectly good hour listening to Cartar. Our esteemed producer is Doug the subway fugitive, Bongo boy, Burman. Our associate producers are Louis Cronin, the barbarian, and David, no problem I grew up eating lead green. And our engineer is Tad Massaman Curry.

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