The Best of Car Talk - #2667: Witless Intimidation

Episode Date: August 22, 2026

Laraine’s Acura is making a weird fricative noise that seems to be coming from impossible locations within the engine compartment. And Click & Clack have to resort to ditching their ‘nice guy’ personas in an attempt to make Laraine’s answers fit their desperate guesses on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Support public media with NPR+ and enjoy perks for over 25 podcasts like this one. Car Talk's perks include full archive access, new call-in bonus episodes with Ray, and sponsor-free listening. Learn more at plus.npr.org.See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack the Tapper Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the hate mail division here at Car Talk Plaza. Man, have I gotten it lately? It's unfair, too. I've been getting, I have been getting pummeled. It's not unfair. It is. It's unfair.

It's all deserved. But go ahead. Well, not long ago, we had a caller on the show, a guy named Jack from Davis, California. He was complaining about how his fiancé stopped at a four-way stop. and while stopped, proceeded to continue her conversation with him while cars backed up in all directions. Right, because she was the first one there

and no one else wanted to... They were all obeying the rule, which was the first one there's got to go, and she was too busy running her mouth. Did you say you got a lot of hate mail this week? He was upset by the... We told him to call off the wedding. I don't know.

Because she was doing what? She was talking. Just talking. Anyway, that discussion that we had, that brief discussion, prompted this letter from Sarah, who lives in Italy and is evidently in the military. I don't know. As I was cleaning my hostess last week, I heard your pathetic weekly broadcast over the Armed Forces Radio Network. At the end of your show, a caller called in about his girlfriend's choosing to stop at a four-way stop,

and let everyone wait until she was finished running her mouth. You both proceeded to blame all bad driving in America on the increase of women drivers. I didn't really say that. I'm going to later, but I didn't say it then. I have to say that I must protest. Women are not the worst drivers. Italians are the worst drivers. I've been living and driving here in Sicily for about a year and a half.

During that time, I've witnessed a long list of bad driving techniques that are too numerous to mention. What, are Italian some new gender? Yeah. I will give you the brief, brief version. One, it is against the law to talk on a cell phone while driving in Italy. But really, since when did anyone follow the law here? I followed a guy yesterday for about 10 miles. It was a two-lane road through vineyards and very windy.

And for 10 miles, this guy was talking on the phone, speeding up the car, slowing down the car, weaving across the road, weaving back across the road. And since Italians are so animated when they talk, there was much of the drive where it could see both of his hands in the air while he was driving. And you say, women are bad. Number two, speed is no issue here. Italians are either one of two things. This is good.

They're either in a hurry to get to dinner or in no hurry because they just ate. In a country that makes some of the fastest cars, you sure wouldn't know it. Have I mentioned yet that women rarely drive in this society? Have I mentioned that it is about 95% men on the roads here? Tom and Ray, you should know better than the time. a population that is 50% women that they are bad drivers. I am sure I am not the only one who wrote in disgust, signed lovingly Sarah. I threw in the lovingly.

She didn't say that. So, what do you have to say for yourself? Well, here's what I, here was what my theory was. What I was going to say to Jack from Davis, California, was that everyone knows the situation on the roads has gotten horrendous in the last, who knows, how long gradually over the last 20 years maybe. I'd say certainly the last decade. Certainly the last decade. It's gotten ridiculous. And my theory is that we used to be able to count on women to be the sane ones on the road. And I guess they got sick of having that role to play. Right. Like your wife

would say, don't shoot out that guy's tires, Tommy. Yeah, that. And so they have somehow decided that, If the men can get away with horrendous driving, why not us? We're equal. It's all the women's movement, you know, this equality thing. Keep going. I'm enjoying this immensely. And so what's happened now is that when we could count on only half of the population, the crazy jerky men driving like crazy jerks,

now we've got the women's movement and the equality of women making the other half of the population just as crazy. and jerky and that's now the women. So now we have crazy jerky women. I don't mean this in a bad way. I'm simply saying that it immediately double the number of crazy people on the road when the women gave up. Louis is cringing, thinking of the inundation of hate mail that will follow this little explanation of yours. And you notice that I have distanced.

myself. I've even moved about six inches farther away. I don't see that this is not a bad... You know what I think? This needs a little more clarification. It's just a theory. I just wanted to clear it up so that I wouldn't be in trouble. Okay, well, look, would you

like to take a call? No, sure. If you are a member of one of the few groups, and I mean few, or genders that my brother has not completely offended and alienated, yet. And you have a problem with your car, please give us a call it, 8888-8-8-8-2-27-8-2-55. Hello, you're on Car Talk.

Hi, this is Jessica from Nashville. Hi, Jessica. Are you one of those crazy women drivers? Yeah, I guess so. I've been called that before. What's up, Jessica? Well, my car is making this really weird noise. I have a 1995 Chevrolet Beretta.

Where are you from, by the way? Nashville. She's from Nashville. Well, I'm currently in Nashville, but I don't think I'm from Nashville. You're trying to become a recording star? No, I'm in graduate school, actually. No kidding. I can't sing a darn thing, so I went to grad school.

In what? Well, if I finish my thesis, I'll be getting a degree in geology, a master's degree. Great. So you're going to figure out where to drill for oil? No, I'm not one of those geologists. I like the landscape, and I play with dirt. Oh, really? Yeah.

I look at landscape dynamics and how the landscape forms and what that can tell us about the history of the area. Like long-term history, 500,000 years or so. Yeah. So you're not going to put your education in any practical use. No. No. Do you like to cry with that? You got it.

Just as long as you know. Okay. That's good. Because you're doing something that interests you. Yeah. Very much so. I agree. Not everything ought to make money.

And as long as your needs are modest, you'll be all right. Well, that's why I'm driving the Chevy Barretta. Yeah, we can see that. So what's your noise? Well, it is this crazy, squeaky noise. It sounds like metal, rubbing on metal, like a knife on a pipe plate, you know. Oh, that's not good. Well, it's not.

I don't think I like that. Oh, oh. Well, every time I start the car, it does that for about five or ten minutes. When you start the engine, before you stop moving? Before I start moving. And then while I'm moving. But you don't have to be moving to get the noise. I don't have to be moving to get the noise.

And it sounds like it's coming from under the hood. Yeah. Can you make the sound? Um, it's not a fan belt screech because I had a car, a truck once that did a fan belt screech. Well, one of the things that makes you maybe think that it isn't a fan belt noise is that the last car you had had a different kind of fan belt. But it doesn't make that kind of like, you know how when a fan belt screeches, it kind of reaches a pitch and then goes back down. Right. Right.

This just stays at one pitch. Even if you rev up the engine? It kind of goes faster. So the frequency if it were composed of little pulses, that changes, but the frequency of the tone doesn't change. Exactly. Oh, that's good. I mean, can't you see the process here? Oh, man.

How we're homing right in on it? Yes. Do you have any idea what it is? No, not really. I didn't think so. But it almost doesn't matter. Doesn't... I mean, just the whole concept

of the pulses, the frequency, it almost doesn't matter. It is kind of a letdown, though, isn't it? It would be so close. It would be nice if you could then say, uh-huh, and give her the answer. But it's almost anticlimactic. It is.

So with that, we'll just say, good night, Jessica. Okay, thank you. I think that it may not be the belt, although it certainly could be, but I think it is the belt tensioner. This car, I believe, has one belt called the serpentine belt, because it goes around like a serpent, which is a flat, grooved belt, unlike the old days

where we had belts that, the cross-section of which was a V, and those were called appropriately V belts. Very good. And so these, these... And some of them had none at all, and we call those Sanzibeltz. And what happens is this tensioner is supposed to keep that belt taut so that it, that it's, you know, has the right amount of tension on it so it doesn't slip on any of its pulleys. And if that tensioner goes bad, there's a bearing in it. Oh.

And that bearing, that's metal. That bearing could make that same kind of noise that is akin to a screeching belt, but in fact is a metal on metal of a bearing. That's what you hear. Yeah, that's what it sounds, it's definitely metal on metal. It's kind of like plate tectonics. Oh, speaking of geology. Your car's going to have an eruption. God, I hope not.

And, I mean, if that's the case, it ought to be easily traceable by a mechanic because he ought to be able to hear it and stick his ear right next to it and say, uh-huh. Okay. And, you know, for a hundred bucks, you're going to be back in business. Wonderful. See you later. Thank you. Thanks for your call.

Bye, bye. Hey, look, we had an interesting puzzle last week that neither of us knew the answer to. And that would be different because... Well, here are your hints. All right. During the summer months, the staff at Car Talk Plaza shows up for work in blank. In frequently. True, but I was looking for in shorts.

Shorts. Does that ring a bell? Yeah, shorts. Will Shorts. Frost my shorts. It was a Will Shorts. Automotive slash word, puzzler. That's right, and I'll have the question

and the answer in just a minute. Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, click and clack the Tappert Brothers, and we had to talk about cars, car repair, and, duh, the answer to last week's puzzler. I can't take any blame for this, fortunately. No. Last week on Stump the Chumperts, we had Will Shorts, you know, the Puzzle Master, and he was unable to stump us there. We actually correctly diagnosed his car, but he was able to stump us with a

puzzler of his own. So we could, we could. turned around and put the puzzler to you guys, and here it is. Take a current make a vehicle, like Dodge or Ford or Lincoln, okay? You got to look at it. Yeah, one of those. Add a letter to it. Scramble the letters. Or unscramble them. They will be scrambled. We want you to unscramble them. There you go. So take the current make a vehicle. Add a letter to it. Unscramble that mess. And come up with another make of vehicle. Like, for example, take Saturn. If you add an E to Saturn

and then unscramble the letters, you have Neratsu. Oh, that's good. Would that be the answer? Not quite, but they're working on the Naratsu. It's also Strath.

Stunato, yeah. How did Will Shorts know that word? I didn't know it was a 10th. Anyway, we racked our brains for hours. We did, yeah. And, of course, we didn't come up with the answer, so fortunately, we had Will Stooper. And he has assured us that this is the one and only answer.

Yeah, go ahead. Izuzu. I'll repeat. Izuzu, spelled I-S-U-S-U-S-U-U-S-U-U. It only works with Izuzu. Z, U. You add a K to that, and you get Suzuki. After unscrambling.

You don't have to do a lot of unscrambling either. No. In fact, this is so easy that we should have gotten it. Zuzu. You should just take the eye, stick it out. on the end and put a cave just before it, you got Suzuki. Yeah, why didn't you get it then? Oh, I did. I had to get

a lot of hints, though. Yeah. Like it was Japanese obscure? It starts with an eye. Anyway, who's our winner this week? Oh, the winner is James Napoli. We shouldn't show such nepotism by always giving

the prize to an Italian. People are going to start catching on to this. The winner is James Napoli from Los Angeles, California, and for having his answer selected at random from the hamster cage full of correct answers that we got this week, James is going to get a

$25 gift certificate to the shameless commerce division of the Cart Talk section of Cars.com. And with that $25 gift certificate, James can get two and three-twenty-fifths taped copies of the second best of Car Talk. Really?

Is that good? Which, by the way, is better than the first best of Car Talk. Now, isn't that counterintuitive? How did that happen? I don't know. Anyway, we'll have a new puzzler coming up in the third half of today's show, and I can't let you in on any more of it than that because I really don't know what it's going to be. So stay tuned for that, and right now, if you have a question about your car or anything else, the number to call is 888-8-2-8-8-2-8-2-8-5.

Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Sean from Seattle. Hi, Sean. How are we going to spell that one? S-H-A-W-N. Oh, all right, I had already misspelled it. Really? Everyone does.

Yeah. But anyway, Seattle. Yeah. Got it. What's up? So, I've got a Volkswagen Shrocko, 1988. And whenever I drive over 45 miles an hour, the dashboard screams at me. Oh, really?

Yeah, it's like a big, whee-h. And I can't hear the radio. I can't talk over it, and it's really distracting, and I can't go on the highway. Open the hood. Uh-huh. You're with the car now? No. You have the car with you at all times.

If you open the hood, I believe you will see a speedometer cable, which is about, I don't know, maybe 3-8s-of-an-inch in diameter and black. This cable is pointing right at where the speedometer would be inside the car. Okay, if you follow that cable and you'll come across another piece of plastic, which you may have to move out of the way, I think you'll come to a little black box. Okay. Unscrew the cable from that box. The noise will be gone.

But will my speedometer work? And your spadometer will be gone, too. But you'll have ascertained. But I think it's more the odometer than the speedometer. Well, you can't have one without the other. They can't have one without the other. So when you disconnect the cable, you are going to determine that that's where the noise is coming from.

Now, you can, if I'm not mistaken, this car may have a long cable and then a little short cable. Okay. And it could be either one of them that's making the noise. And I'm going to guess it's the short cable. Okay. And you can go to your Volkswagen dealer, and you can buy one and put it in. Okay.

And there's no way of just making the noise stop and keep the spinoffere. I'll have to do all this stuff. That's correct. Yeah, but at least in the meantime, you won't have to, you won't, A, you won't have to listen to the noise anymore, and you won't be incurring high. mileage numbers on your odometer. Well, my edometer is broken anyway.

Oh, the odometer has already... Yeah, it hasn't worked since I've owned the car. Oh, but the speedometer works. Yes, the speed dominoers always work. There you go. You can have one without the other. Well, by the way, it's illegal to drive around without a speedometer. I don't care.

They arrest Sean in Seattle. What's it to us? Yeah, go for it, man. Go for it. Power to the people. Just leave us alone. Leave us out of the story. I was once pulled over by a very nice state police woman.

Yeah? For speeding. Oh, yeah? Yeah. And? Well, it was a trumped-up charge, of course. But I informed her, as everyone does. Did your sput?

Oh, but it worked. No, it worked, but I couldn't possibly have been going 78 miles an hour. My sprangler said I was doing 55. And she said, well, I'm writing up for 78 and for faulty equipment. Whoops. Good for her. Yeah, so if you do get stopped for speeding, I don't think I'd use the excuse to get a speedometer doesn't work. Okay.

Yeah. See you, Sean. Okay, thanks. Bye-bye. Bye-bye-eight-eight-eight-eight-two-seven-eight-25-five. Hello, you're on car talk. Hi, this is Lorraine in St. Louis. Hi, Lorraine with an O-R-N-A.

With an A, I'm probably one of the only people around with an A. Really? My mom couldn't spell. So what's up? Well, I have an 88 Accura Legend, and it's making a funny noise, kind of like a, it goes on for about five seconds. If I apply the break, it usually stops, but not always. So it happens when you're driving along?

When I'm driving along, it usually also happens, especially when I've first started up and I'm pulling out of the driveway. Hmm. St. Louis, huh? Gotcha. So let me get this right. You pull out of the drive where you begin to hear this, what I have to describe as a scraping noise. Well, not so much as a scraping.

A rattling. Kind of like if you put a baseball card, you put a baseball car under the spokes of your bicycle, that's right. And as soon as you touch the brakes? Yeah, pretty much so. But not always. It doesn't always stop when I touch the brakes. Oh, really?

It doesn't always stop when you're... Mm-hmm. It's these little words. My brother's passing a brainstone. If we could just chop out certain words. Life would be so simple. It doesn't always stop when you step on the brakes? No.

All right. Well, then then, then, but where'd you get this number? This is bakea cake.com. Yes, it is. Well, I do have one other clue on this. Good, good. We need all the clues. I started noticing this in about October, and it was just really bad throughout the winter.

and now that the weather is perked up a little and temperatures have come up, I'm not hearing it as frequently. Oh. Where do you think this noise is coming from? Well, inside the engine compartment. Very close to you? No, it actually sounds like it's probably about three feet forward of me. Oh, shut up. For a minute, I thought my brother was hot on the trail or something.

Well, I was. Yeah, his tail was pointing and his nose was in the air, but evidently it didn't pan out. And when I first had noticed it, I noticed it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, wait, wait. Is it more likely to happen when you have the defroster on? No. No. I'm going to ask you one more time, Lorraine.

Is it... Is it more likely to happen when you have the defroster on? You know the penalties for perjury? Well, here's, I mean, here's what I thought it could be. It could be a bad air conditioner compressor. That's three. The distance is right. I'm going for distance, that's all.

It's a geographical oddity. I'm going for distance only. I was going for sound. No. I was going for sound. Too many possibilities. Distance is good. I mean, in the winter.

When the weather was not as friendly as you say, then I suspect that you had the heater on all the time, and therefore the blow-a-motor was running all the time. And the defrauster. And now that you said the weather has perked up a little bit, you've probably turned off the fan. No, I still run it. Have you had the air conditioner on?

You're just running the heat? Actually, I've had the air conditioner on, too. And it hasn't made the noise? It has made the noise. You have to do an experiment. See if the noise goes away. Turn all that stuff off. Okay.

And see if the noise disappears completely. Okay. And if the noise goes away, call us back. If it doesn't go away, don't call us back. We don't want to talk to you. We don't want to see you again. Don't dock it out of the airwaves again, Lorraine. Hey, hey, hey.

See you. See you. Bye, bye. Bye. It's been a lot of fun, Lorraine. You're a good sport. Bye-bye. Bye.

Boy, I like this new method. of intimidating the father. They don't give me the answer you want. We'll try anything. Put a little pressure. We're getting desperate. We'll be right back with more calls and the new puzzler after these messages.

We're back. We're listening to Car Talk with us. Click and Collect the Tappert Brothers. And we're here to talk about cars, car repair, and the new puzzler. Hardly wait. Really? Yeah. Well, we received a few.

thousand emails of, no, it's just a handful, a smattering of emails recently about some explanation we gave to a question on the show. The mango question? No. You can't do it unless the number is two. No, it had to do with... Not that one. No, no, I had to do with an explanation we use for a while.

Should you try to go backwards if you're going to hit somebody or... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, undaunted by that, I'm going to venture into the wonderful. world of science again. Physics? Could be. Quantum mechanics? Could be.

All right. I can take it. I'm ready, too. A few weeks ago, my vacuum cleaner broke. And before I threw it out, I decided I'd take it apart. Of course. To see if I could fix it. And this is a conventional vacuum cleaner.

Another kind that's on wheels and the hose plugs in one end. And it looks like a torpedo. Yeah. You know, everyone's had one of these at one time. And it's got a switch on the top. and a cord that gets tangled around everything when you're not using it. Yeah. And it's plastic, you know, it's lightweight junk.

I was surprised that it worked as long as it did. I take the thing apart and I'm surprised myself and I find the problem. There's a broken wire. Really? At the motor. How old? So I say, fortuitous. What do I don't really have to throw it out.

I can, in fact, fix this thing. And while I'm fixing it, I notice that there is. attached to the base of this thing is a huge chunk of iron that looks like it weighs about two pounds. And I remember years ago when I took a stereo component apart, my amplifier stopped working. Actually, they stopped working because I took it apart, but I'm not sure. And I noticed that it also had a huge chunk of iron. It was a big empty box, so that you wouldn't think it was a big empty box with 65 cents worth of components.

They stuck a big chunk of iron in there to make, oh, this is pretty hefty. This is nice. Yeah. And what it really was was a bunch of puffed wheat with a big chunk of iron in there. So I said, those sleaze balls, they put a big chunk of iron in my vacuum cleaner. So it wouldn't feel like. To make up for the fact that it's made out of cheap plastic. Cheap plastic.

And I thought, well, wait a minute. Do I want my wife dragging around this vacuum cleaner that's two pounds heavier? I'll just throw this thing out. How nice of you? Now, there's a man. I didn't throw the vacuum cleaner out. I throw out the piece of... No, I mean, a man who's really thinking about his wife.

You were going to take that two pounds and throw it away. Yeah, well, if I was... You ever think of, like, vacuuming instead of having her... Oh, no. No, I hadn't thought of that, actually. So I pries off this piece of iron. It's glued to the plastic. And I throw it out.

And I put the thing back together. And I'm sitting there in the kitchen table... At the kitchen table. Feeling pretty smug. Smudgy. Fixed. Something else. Smugly chewing on an apple.

And it doesn't work. It works, but something funny happens. Now, if you think you know what happens, write it on a postcard or on a pair of rollerblade, core carbon inline skates with biodynamic trifor boots, 80-millimeter hyperwheels, and ninja minimiser bearings. And size seven, women's? Who's behind this?

Cronin? Yes, I think it is. And send them to Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3,500, Harvard Square, Cambridge. Our Fair City. Matt, 2,2238. Or you can email your answer from the Car Talk section of Cars.com. And boy, am I going to get mail about this puzzle. 1-8888-8-8-8-2-278-25-5.

Hello, you're on Car Talk. This is Ruth, Wittan R. Hi, Williamsburg, Virginia. Hi. Williamsburg. How are you? I have the perfect car talk problem. Yeah.

This is a domestic distinction. involving a 1970 Dodge Dart. Oh, man. How is that? I mean, is that good or what? That is good. I will defer to my brother in All Matters, Doctor, because, and all matters vis-à-vis disputes. No, I mean, I've already shown that I don't know how to handle domestic disputes because how many wives can a guy have.

Okay. The Dart just got a heart transplant. Along with its new engine came a 500-mile, please bring it back so we can complete the warranty info. Yeah. we gave the car to my 16-year-old son. And then we made a big mistake. 200 miles into the new miles, my husband and I went away for a week.

And when we came back, it no longer had 200 miles on it. It had 2,000. How did you know? Yeah. So now with the deer in the headlight, look, okay, my 16-year-old says, oh, who's been driving my car? And so my husband says, look,

There's no way. The speedometer only misreads by having less miles, not more. My son says there's no way unless somebody was sneaking out here and driving the car at night out of state. So I'm caught in the middle and I'm saying, well, there's only one person who can answer this. And that's y'all. So it's pretty clear in your mind that someone has driven this thing 2,000 miles. So you have to decide if it was your son, if it was aliens, school chums. Who else has a key to the car, he says, you know? Oh, come on.

Who's going to get into this Dodge Dart and drive it around Williamsburg? Are you kidding me? That's the most coveted car there is. To some. Now, he wants to paint it black and put red flames on the side. And I said, come on, honey, this is a dart. You know, this is not a firebird. Okay, so you can say that there is no possible way that someone has misread the odometer.

I went out and I looked. He came in. and he said, you know, you're not going to believe this. And I thought, oh, this is very bad. Well, first of all, it's almost impossible for the odometer to be off by a factor of 10. You know, but you can easily verify this. I mean, you can drive the car someplace, you know, a known distance and see if the thing really reads the correct mileage. It's possible that it's off.

And it could be. I've seen odormators off by factors of 10. You have. Before you take the sun to the woodshed, so to speak. Yeah, I mean, I think we have to absolutely. determined that it really does read 2,000 miles more than you think it ought to read. Okay. And so I should drive it more than one mile.

I should drive it 20. You should drive it 200. Yes, exactly. Okay. Or maybe 200. Yeah. You know, there's a girlfriend involved here, so. Oh.

Is girlfriend hyphenated? It's girlfriend one word. Not in this case. No, it's very close. The girlfriend had. But where is this girlfriend? Two thousand miles away? No.

Five minutes. It's different. Five minutes away. Of course. Joy riding. I think so, too. I think so, too. Yeah.

I find it awfully hard to not believe the kid. You're too old and naive, you old fool. You're just an old fool, man. And where did you go, pray tell? I went with my husband to Charleston, South Carolina. Just having a good time. Living it up like Wayne Newton. Jerry, when I was in high school, my good friend, Paul Farrier,

had the good fortune of seeing his parents off. They were going to return to the place of their birth, which was Portugal. Oh, my. And they hadn't taken a vacation in like 105 years. Right. So they drive themselves to the airport, which at that time was a pretty tame place to go. Logan's field. There were like 12 parking spots.

Yeah. And they leave the car there, and off they go to Portugal. Paul, thinking quickly, uses his duplicate key. and figures he can drive the car I probably shouldn't tell the story he can drive the car for a whole week sure and how old they go on and then even if he gets there a day early

eventually that very same parking space or the one next to it will show up and they won't remember because what? They're old right right they're old and as long as he's within a few spots so he's got it all worked out we're going to go here we're going to go there we're going to take a trip to Canada

the first day he drives the car into a tree and there was no way he could lie his way on that when he was standing in the very spot with their car which park as they emerged from the terminal with their bags and not one of his friends was there to support him you're not going to believe this folks

but someone stole your car and drove it into a tree but I found it right so I mean I would be very suspicious of your son but before you take him to task on this I would certainly verify that the mileage is, you know, is correct. Right, right. Yeah, and I think you're going to find out it is.

I don't understand. I mean, how could he possibly think that you wouldn't notice 2,000 miles? Because you wouldn't notice. I'm sticking with it. I believe your son. If he says he didn't drive it, I say he didn't drive it. And we're going to find another answer. And I say he's a lying sleaze ball.

Well, I'll let you know if it was the alien factor or the girl's the factor. Let us know. We can't wait. See you, Ruth. Bye-bye. Well, it's happened again. That's a tough one. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't think it's so tough. It's happened again. You've blown off another perfectly good hour listening to Car Talk. Our esteemed producer is Doug the subway fugitive Bongo boy Berman. Our social producers are Louis Cronin, the Barbarian, and David Gibraltar Green. You know, people have been wondering what this Gibraltar thing is all about. I mean, you know what Gibraltar is, right?

Yeah, it's like a huge rock. Yeah, a huge stone, you might say. And if you sail from, say, Barcelona to Lisbon, what would you do vis-a-vis that big stone? Well, you'd pass that stone. There you go. Our engineer is Ted Massimand Curry. I wasn't behind that, Dave. It's just a pawn in the whole thing.

Our senior web lackey is Doug. I'm pro-sheep, and I vote mayor. and our technical, spiritual, and menu advisor just back from the Isle of Pines, poo-poo platter, and spring roll invitational is John Buxie Lawler. Our public opinion pollster is Paul Merkey of Merkey Research, assisted by statistician Margin Overa.

Our customer care representative is Haywood Jabuzzoff. Car Talk Plaza Senior Onathologist is Seymour Robbins, and our special liaison to the California Energy Commission is Tanya Lightoff. Our sexual harassment investigator is Hank Pankey, our meteorologist from the New Delhi office is Luke out of window, and our Russian chauffeur is peak off and drop off. Our French vacation specialist is April Lynn Paris. Mm-hmm. I get it.

Our Australian tour guide is Joaquin Matilda, and our seat cushion tester, of course, is Mike Easter. Our chief counsel from the law firm of Dewey Cheeverman Hall is U. Louis Dewey, known to the GenX slackers turned dot-com billionaires turned GenX slackers again in Harvard Square as Ui-Louis-Dooie. We're clicking clack to Tappert Brothers. Don't drive like my brother. We'll be back next week. Bye-bye. Car Talk is a production of Dewey Cheatham & Howe and WBUR in Boston. And even though NPR President Kevin Close fantasizes about saying you are the weakest link, goodbye, whenever we utter it, this is NPR National Public Radio.