The Best of Car Talk - #2668: You Betcha!

Episode Date: August 25, 2026

From Aitkin to Zumbrota, this edition of the Best of Car Talk ‘Climaxes’(poulation 243) with a flurry of calls from the gopher state. You betcha!Support public media with NPR+ and enjoy perks for over 25 podcasts like this one. Car Talk's perks include full archive access, new call-in bonus episodes with Ray, and sponsor-free listening. Learn more at plus.npr.org.See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us clicking clacks to Tappert Brothers and we're broadcasting this week from the creative writing department here at Carataw Plaza. You're on, Tommy. Wait a minute, I was doodling. Remember we discussed Edward Bullard Litton many years ago? The writer of those famous lines, it was a dark and stormy night. Of course, of course. Edward knows Edward Buller Litton.

Well, evidently, the San Jose State University of the English Department sponsors a Bullwood Litton Fiction Contest, which according to this email says, a whimsical literary competition that challenges entrance to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels. Someone sent us this email, and we don't know if these were real winners, or even if they came from this contest, but we liked them anyway. Here's one. As a scientist, Throck Martin knew that if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber,

he would never hear the end of it. I mean, is that not a winner right there? That is. I mean, how can it get me better than that? Didn't flow as well as it could, but not bad. It didn't convey the message. I mean, these are brilliant lines. Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism,

was about to give his body and soul to a back alley sex change surgeon to become the woman he loved. And how about this? I still like the Throck Martin one. The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the green sward, and with sickly fingers pushed through the castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated sordant amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the frog's deception and screaming madly,

you lied! I mean, that's pretty good. No, that's very good. But is it as good as with a crevacious figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned, unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure blue eyes, fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition and a small small, straight nose, Mary Lee had a beauty that defied description.

Don't you wish you had written stuff like this? Read the Throck Morton one again. As a scientist, Throck Martin knew that if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it. Well, look, if you think those lines are bad, wait till you hear some of our upcoming answers. If you have a problem with your car or anything else, I would like to hear some of our fiction.

You can give us a call it 888 Car Talk. That's 888-227-8255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, guys, this is Liz from Rochester, New York. Liz, with a Z. That's the one. Hey, Rochester, New York. The one, the only.

Now, what are they doing Rochester now that they don't build carburetors there anymore? Yeah. Well, I mean, we've got codec, which is downsizing. So, I mean, we got stuff going on. I mean, did you know anyone who worked at the carburetor factory? No, we just moved here a few years ago. Oh. Yeah, we're kind of a reload.

But the buildings must still be there, huh? I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. They're probably all Starbucks now. Probably are. Imagine it must have been like in the heyday of the carburetor.

Indeed. Oh, man, just a little beehive of activity. Anyway, Liz, what's... You guys get out a lot, huh? Not a lot, no. No, no. They don't let us out. We've tried to get out.

But there are those big fences, you know. What's up? All right. I've got a 1996 Nissan Maxima. It's got 40,000 miles. It's in gorgeous condition. I also have an older home which my husband and I are re-landscaping in Rochester, New York. Yeah.

Now, in the front of the house, we have these horrible, ugly, nasty shrubs. I know the question. You do? Yeah. Okay. Can you pull them out with your maxima? You're so smart. Yeah. They're juniper bushes, aren't they?

Uh, use. Use. Use. No, it's Y-O-U. What are you from Arkansas? Oh, God. Oh, there goes Arkansas. No, use is actually a New York expression.

Use. Where are yous from? Hey, that's a correct sentence, isn't it? Where are yous from? So you want to tie a chain. around the used bush and tie it to the axle or the bumper of the max. The bumper's a bad idea. Yeah, I was afraid I'd leave the bumper in the driveway.

Yeah, you could tie it to the rear suspension. What's the size of these things? How tall? How tall? Maybe three feet, but they're real. You're crazy. Don't do it. Don't do it?

My sister, our sister, had a similar... See, this is a subject on which we actually have experience. One Easter Sunday, many, many moons ago. Okay. I remember it well. We were at our sister Lucille's house, and after feeding us and plying us with wine, she says, oh, by the way, before you leave, I want to take out that you that's right in front of the house. We had a jaguar that we were test driving, and we tried to get it out with that.

We actually tied a rope. We tied a substantial rope. Oh, it was like a four inches in diameter rope. This is a big row. We tied around this thing with a hangman's noose, and we actually tied. tie the other end to the rear suspension of the car, we couldn't budge the thing. Oh. I mean, we burned up that transmission.

The thing had been there for 40 years. And it wasn't as big as yours. It was not three feet tall. It might have been two feet tall. Well, that's because she cut it down. It used to be six. Yeah. Because those roots, man, they go down.

But I think I'd recommend that you engage a landscaper who will tie a chain around it. Okay. and then pull it out with his or her truck. Well, the landscape rule charges $575 to do it for us. How many of them are there? Four or five. I think your car's too new to risk it. Okay.

And you really don't want to do it with a rope. Okay. Too dangerous. You need a chain. Okay. And that's too expensive. The chain's going to cost you 500 bucks. But then you'll have a chain.

You can always use. The rope, at least you can use to hang yourself later. I think I'd call the landscaper. Okay. Yeah, bite the bullet. All right. Well, thank you very much. All right, Liz.

See you later. Okay. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. 1-88-8-8-8-8-2-7-8-25-5. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hey, this is Jake. How are you?

Excellent. I love your show. Thanks, take my phone call. Hey, it's a pleasure. Where are you from, Jake? Nashville, New Hampshire. No kidding. Yes.

Jake is a great name. It is a great name. Did you see the movie The Two Jakes? Tommy and I are doing a row. remake of that. They spelled Jake peculiarly. J-E-R-K. No, they think they made a mistake, don't you?

Anyway, what's going on, man? Well, listen, I have an 86th Jeep Comanche. Oh, boy. Which is the pickup truck. Yes, and it has 100, right now, has 145,000 miles on it. Uh-huh. I replaced the clutch last year. It's hard to throw the shifter into third gear.

It's getting very notchy. So it's the consequence of this. my right hand, I have a a splint. I have a disability with my right thumb. Really? Yeah, I have to go see a surgeon. And you attribute your thumb problem entirely

to the shifter on the Jeep? Yes. Oh, that's no good, Jake. I know, it's not good. It's got to be work-related. Exactly. What's the matter with you? What do you do for a living? I work for a lawyer. Oh, what could be better? What are you crazy? Yes. There's some kind of divine justice at work here. Somehow

there's going to be some repetitive thing. that you're doing at work at work, Jake. I'm always in the road, though. I'm the outside guy. I'm always driving. And you're driving the Jeep? Yeah. If you weren't driving the,

if they gave you a company car. Oh, a company car? All right, well, we'll put that aside. Forget that. So is there a question embedded in all this narrative here? So what is causing the shifter to become so notchy? over the last 14 years. Well, probably you.

It's me? Well, that and the fact that there's probably no lubricant in the transmission. Well, now, ironically enough, I am very diligent in my fluid changing. Ah. Now, every 3,000 miles, I know this sounds outrageous, but I change the oil in that thing, and also change the gear fluid. What are you nuts? No, because, you know, I have a schedule because I drive so much.

It's from New Hampshire. No, I'm not. That's not very nice. So you've changed this gearbox oil like 45 times. Yeah. Yeah, so I go back to my original premise that it's you. It's me. Yeah, I would skip third gear.

Well, you know what? It's even hard to get into first. Oh, how's reverse? Is reverse just as hard? Reverest is as hard, but sometimes when you stop and everything winds down, I go to put into reverse. It goes... Oh, it's not you. It's the clutch.

I take it back. Oh, really? This thing has a hydraulic clutch. Yes, it does. And one of those pieces, either the slave or the master cylinder, ain't working right. Okay. You need to look at those to see if they're leaking.

So that when you step on the clutch, you're not, in fact, disengaging the clutch completely. Oh. So Saturday, when you're under the car, as you always are on Saturday. Avoid the life. You said it, not us. Right. You can just take a peek and see where it's leaking from,

and that's the thing that's going to be. place, and that will solve all your problems, including your thumb problem. But I want to be out on disability and not have to work anymore. Well, when your wife gets a hold of you, I think that should be a problem. Yeah, you'll be pretty much disabled. See you, see it, Jake. All right, man, thanks a lot. Hey, thanks a lot for calling.

Bye. Bye. Okay, Tommy, are you ready for your puzzler hints? Ready, willing, and... Well, two out of three eight. All right, here we go. First hint. Yeah.

Calm on TV. No, I was looking for a vacuum. Okay, next. When a sailboat is stuck facing straight into the wind, it's considered to be in what? Deep doo-doo, unless you have a paddle. We'll be back in a minute.

Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us Click and Collect the Tappert Brothers, and we're here to talk about cars, car repair, and the answer to last week's puzzler. Yeah. This was one for my Day in the Life of Ray series. Yeah, when you screw up something else. What did you do?

Drop a car off the lift again? No, no, no. No, I remember this puzzler, actually. A few weeks ago, our vacuum cleaner broke, and before throwing it out, I decided to take it apart to see if I could fix it. And this is a conventional,

I think what you call a canister vacuum cleaner that's kind of on wheels. It looks like a torpedo. There's the hose on one then, and it's got the switch on top, and the cord which gets tangled around every chairleg in the house. It comes out the other end. And the whole thing is made of plastic.

In fact, it's fair to say it's lightweight junk. Anyway, I take the thing apart, and I find the problem amazingly, there's a broken wire at the motor. So I say, whoopty-do, I don't really have to throw it out. I can fix this thing. While I'm fixing it, I notice that attached to the base of this thing on the inside is a huge chunk of metal. I think it's iron.

It looks like it weighs about two pounds. And I remember years ago when I took my stereo amplifier apart, I noticed it also had a huge chunk of metal. Otherwise, it was a big empty box. And they put that in there so you wouldn't think it was a big empty box with 65 cents worth of electronic components. They stuck in a big chunk of iron to make it seem like it had some heft to it. Those evil marketing. It's marketing people who do stuff like that.

Yeah, they made the thing and they said, are you kidding me? No one's going to pay $300 for this. Exactly. Had some beef to it. Where's the beef? So I say those sleaze balls, they put this big hunk of metal in my vacuum cleaner to make it seem like it's not just a cheap. piece of plastic. And I thought, wait a minute, do I want my wife dragging around the vacuum cleaner that's two pounds heavier than it needs to be? I'll just throw this piece of iron out.

So I remove it and I toss it out. You with me so far? I'm with you, man. And I put the vacuum cleaner back together and I'm sitting at the kitchen table. Feeling pretty smug. Smugly fixed something else. Smugly chewing on an apple. Waiting for my wife to finish her outdoor chores so I can have her come back to there. She was She's slapping the pigs. She's slopping the pigs, painting the house, cutting the grass. So I could demonstrate to her. You could make it easier for her to take care of her indoor chores.

Anyway, she comes into the house, and I proudly proclaim that I fixed the vacuum cleaner and made it lighter. Yeah. And I invite her to press the button. To press the button. And she does. The question is, what happened? Well, I'm sure most of you would expect it to think burst into,

flames or it vibrated itself to death. But I gave a hint. And the hint was I was chewing on an apple. And the apple should remind you of whom? William Tell. Adam and Eve. Well, you get three guesses. A doctor.

You get three guesses for a war. I got the three most obvious things. What if an apple hit you in the head? Who would that remind you of? Isaac. Isaac Newton. There you go. And I was reminded of Newton's third, second, the first law.

I think it's the third, which says for every action, there is an equal and opposite. Oh, that's why you were eating the apple. That's why I was eating the apple. It was a hint. A hint. And when she hit the switch, the fact that I had removed this hunk of iron made the vacuum cleaner behave in a peculiar manner. Sure. The motor started turning in one direction, and the whole vacuum cleaner.

Turned in the other direction. Started doing flips in the kitchen floor, right? Ripping the cord out of the wall, creating all kinds of sparks at which point. And a fire. Which point my wife said, good work, hon. So they had put the weight in for a reason. Yeah, I guess so. I guess so.

It wasn't the sleazeball marketing type, it wasn't the sleazeball engineering department. Anyway, so who's our winner? Well, the winner is John Harding from Washington, D.C., who may be a lawyer or a politician in which case he will not get the prize. But if he is neither of those, he will get a $25 gift certificate to the shameless commerce division at the Car Talk section of Cars.com. With that $25 gift certificate, John is going to get one and nine-sixth copies

of our CD, why you should never listen to your father, when it comes to cars, which, by the way, makes a perfect Mother's Day gift. It also comes with a two-pound chunk of steel. Which we happen to have left over. Right. Anyway, we'll have a new puzzler coming up

in the third half of the show, so don't slam off the radio and disgust just yet. Hey, do you know what time it is now? Time to introduce our new spring fragrance, O'Do de Mechanique? No, it's time to play? Stop the Chops! This is the part of the show

when we hunt down a caller from a previous show to see whether or not his case against us has any merit. So who's our lucky player this week? I don't know, but the notes here say it's John from Burlington, Massachusetts. You remember John? No.

Of course. Of course. No, not really. I'll refresh both our memories by reading from the little piece of paper. John called with an ethical relational dilemma. He had just met this classy woman and was taking her on a second date. Oh, yeah.

I remember this guy. He wanted to know if he should clean his disgusting Pontiac Grand Prix to impress her. And it would be a false impression, of course, or if he should establish an honest basis for the relationship, just the way it is, let us see right off the bat that he was a total slob who drove around in a pig pen. and we drilled him with a rapid file line of questions, as I recall. How old are you, John? A 38. How's the hair doing?

You got hair. I got good hair. How's the physique? Medium, you know, I'm a 38-year-old guy. Average, your average guy. Would you describe yourself as cuddly? A little bit less than cuddly, but a little bit more than spelt. You have not been married?

No. Do anything. Do whatever it takes. Lie, lie, and lie. I mean, you have to get your foot in the door. There's plenty of time for them to hate you later, as the way I look at it. Anyway, we told him, do whatever it takes

to deny his true nature until she was already in love, and it was too late. Can she sue us for this? John, are you there? Oh, yeah. All right. All right. All right, look, before we find out what happened, we need to verify that the answer you're about to give here and stump the chumps has not been influenced by our staff, the staff of National Public Radio, or by any of the restraining orders she's taken out on you.

No, it's fine. Okay, good. Now, first of all, did you clean the car before you went on the second date, and did she fall for it? Well, I had plans to clean the car before the second date, but I inadvertently met her, and she saw the car the way it was. Oh. And actually had to get into the passenger seat while I was frantically throwing things like bodies and cups and things into the backseat. Yeah. And did she ever speak to you again?

I did get a, at this point it would be a third date. I cleaned up the car. I changed the wardrobe. And that went better. Yeah, not wearing the plaid pants probably helped. Well, I mean, I would say we're only half right. I don't think we're right on this one. No, the fact that she saw the car.

car. She saw the car in the mess. She saw you throwing stuff in the back seat and she still went out for the second date. Yeah. Yeah. So I did take your advice. In that, you did what? I did clean up the car and from now on I'm trying to put on a false impression. And I still have not been in her white Lexus though. I think she wants to put a sheet down or something before I get in. Yeah. She's waiting to have you fumigated.

Well, good luck. And I hope it works out, and more important, be yourself. I mean, we told you the lie, and we meant that. We did mean it, yeah. But now that you've gotten your foot in the door, so to speak, I think you need to become the real you. Yeah. And don't forget, if you're a slob, you're a slob forever.

I mean, it's not as though you can fix it. Yeah. I mean, I don't want to do it. I'm not going to go there. Oh, Tommy, go for it. We depend on you for these insights. My wife claims that she knew from the beginning that I was a complete loser. She knew all the things that were wrong.

Really? You might have had something to do all the phone calls from our friends. And I guess I wasn't attempting to lie, despite the fact that if I knew that it would get me a second date, I would have lied if I had known. how to lie. Right, right. I just was too stupid to even know because I didn't have the benefit of being able to call up too very erudite gentlemen on the radio to get their advice. Dashing and debonair, ladies men. Ladies men. Right. With more divorces between them. Well, John, congratulations and keep up the good work. Thank you. If you need any more advice, don't call us.

Thanks for playing stump the chumps. Okay, thank you. See you later. We'll be right back with more calls and the new puzzler after these messages. We're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Collect the Tappert Brothers, and we're here to talk about cars, car repair, and the new puzzler. I can hardly wait.

Well, this is from the wonderful world of statistics. Oh, not another day in the life of Ramey story? No. No. The wonderful world of statistics. Statistics and academia. This is right up your alley, Tommy. This is me, man.

I used to teach statistics in academia. There you go. They threw me out. I know. They couldn't take it, Joe. With considerable justification, I might add. Of course. Here it is.

A graduate student working at one of the institutions of higher learning in our fair city is writing his dissertation on the relationship between uncontrollable outside forces and automobile accidents. You with me? Wow. He collected thousands and thousands of accident reports from the state of Massachusetts, and he was correlating the time of the accident with all the other factors like temperature, road conditions, automobile. Beal size, age of the driver, alcohol usage, speed limits, or whether or not they're listening to car talk, et cetera, et cetera. Yeah, yeah. After thousands of hours of data input and hours of computer grinding, he discovered an amazing

statistic. So amazing that he collected even more several hundred thousand more statistics from neighboring states. After many more hundreds of hours of data input and seven more years of graduate school and more computer crunching, he found the absolute safest time of the year to drive an automobile on a public highway. So safe, in fact, that not one single accident had occurred. However, still not able to believe his own conclusions, he returned to collecting more accident reports, this time nationwide. After many more thousands of hours inputting data and several more years of graduate school

and numbers crunching, he found nationwide there had been a few accidents during this time. but statistically less than 2% of the number of accidents in any other time frame. The question is, when was the safest time of the year to drive on a public highway? And why? Now, if you think you know the answer, write it on a postcard. Are you with me? Not only am I with you. I know the answer already.

You know, and I'm... He's not just another ugly face. Yeah, I'm sorry. You are. I don't really know the answer, but you have... I'm there. You have... I know how you're thinking.

You do. Yeah. If you think you know the answer. By the way, this was submitted by, I should mention, so I don't get to hate mail. Sure, gets himself off the hook right away. Roger Hogan from Denver, Colorado. We have his whole dossier on him, so if you think this is bogus, you can send the hate mail right to him. If you think you know the answer, write it on a postcard or tape it to the bow of a wooden, ocean-ready, two-person, expedition-level.

kayak with bow and stern bungee hatch system, molded memory foam seats, and recessed cup holder, and paddly your way over to, Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3,500, Harvard Square, Cambridge. Our Fair City. Matt 02238. Or, of course, you can email your answer from the Car Talk section of Cars.com. If you'd like to call us right now, the number is 1-888-8-8-8-2-255. You're on car talk. Hi, guys.

Hey, do you know my friend, Les Block? Less Block? Yeah. No. Okay. He sounds like he should be in our credits, Les Blots. He'd be on our staff.

As what? I don't know. Less block, more block. I don't know. I'll think of something. Well, listen, I got a 1989 Dodge Omni. When I turn left, I can hear kind of a growling like, and also, though, when I'm going over 50,

when I turn left, only on a curve, but only left, turn the wheel to the left. And how long has it been making this noise? About three weeks to a month. Yeah. You're not that concerned about it. It's not horrible sound, no. Does it sound like the noise is coming from the wheel area or from right up there on the dashboard?

No, it's definitely outside. It's out there. I think you have a bad wheel bearing. Oh, okay. And if you listen carefully, well, I'll take that back. if you could listen carefully, i.e., if you could hear it over all the other noises the car makes, you might be able to hear the wheelbearing making noise even when you're going straight ahead. Oh, really?

Yeah. But the reason it makes its noise worse when you make a left-hand turn, I would guess it's the right front wheelbearing that's bad. Yeah, isn't that good? Does it sound like the noise is coming from the right? Should I have asked that question? Does it? I honestly haven't. I've been able to distinguish.

That's all right. That's neutral. See, this is how we get by with most of our answers, because they all sound so logical, and everything seems to fit. You know what, to tell you the truth, though, I can't hear out of my left ear, so I can't tell where things are coming from.

Well, too bad you know the phone up to your left ear now. You'd be much better off. It would be good to have someone ride with you, if anyone will. Maybe you've lost all your friends already. But they could, like, roll down the window on the passenger side and see if the noise seems to be coming from there. But you really have to have a professional look at it because this could be dangerous. Oh, really?

Yeah, and there's a good chance that if you took it to a shop, the mechanic might be able to hear it. Okay. Then he can just replace it, and you don't have to have it seize up on you when you're doing 70 miles. You're not doing 70. You're not doing 70 in this car. When he's speeding at 40 miles an hour on the freeway. Good luck, Alex. Well, thank you very much.

Appreciate it. Thanks for you. Oh, bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye-88-Kart talk. That's 888-227-8-255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Greg from Minneapolis.

Hi, Greg. Minneapolis. Yeah. You know my friend Les Block? You know, I don't think so. Does anybody know him? Sick of asking. What, you lost his number, huh?

I did. So what's up, Greg? Well, I have a 1991 Mazda B-2,600 I. Yeah. And I changed the rear brakes on it. And about three days later, my breaks decided that they would start smoking. Well, no, they decided that every so often they'll pump up pressure and just kind of engage

and start dragging. All by themselves. All by themselves. And I've drained what I do each time, given that I'm not going to take it to the show. is just go to the master cylinder and release the pressure and drive on. Is this the reason you replaced them in the first place that had been doing this? No, no, they hadn't. So I'm obviously the cause of the problem.

Yeah. Now, this is a pickup truck for those of you who don't know. And it's got drum brakes in the back. Yes. Yes. And that's what you replaced. Yeah. You replace the shoes.

Yep. Yeah. Did you, is this the first time you've done a break job? No, no. It should be the last maybe. How many break jobs have you done? Oh, probably 10, 12. And so the reason that you know something is wrong is that the vehicle sort of doesn't want to go anymore.

Right, right. It just starts slowing down. Yeah, and it doesn't matter what speed, and it doesn't follow any rhyme or reason. I mean, it may start five minutes after I start driving. it may be three days later. Well, what alerted you to the fact that you needed breaks in the first place? They were beginning to squeal a little bit. And the front brakes were fine.

Check those. The rear brakes were worn down. How sure are you that you put all the springs back in the right places? Very sure. When you replaced the shoes, did you have occasion to do anything with the pistons in the cylinders? Well, okay. I'll confess here, I made a little boo-boo. I actually got in the truck before I was...

And I stepped on the brakes. And the pistons popped out, didn't they? Yeah. And you weren't going to tell us that way, Greg. Well, you know, I was trying to avoid that part of the story. Oh, Greg. They went back in fine. And then after you put the whole thing together,

You then bleed the brakes? Yeah. You had an assistant help? No, you just opened the bleed. No, I didn't to begin with, but after, you know, I did the old screwdriver on the brake pedal, but then after my father and I discussed the whole situation. Oh, man. I got my wife out to give me a hand with the actual bleeding.

All right. Before we answer any other questions. Would you promise never to do this again? What do you do for a living? I'm a lighting designer in theater. You don't actually plug the lights in. Do you someone else does that? Yeah, unfortunately I do.

He may do it. You actually touch electrical things. Yeah. All right. Where do you live again, Minneapolis? Minneapolis, it's a safe distance. Okay. I've got to think you screwed something up.

Although there was a slim chance that it's got nothing to do with what you did. Actually, it sometimes is the front brakes that drag, and it's sometimes the back breaks. Oh, really? Oh, Greg, you didn't tell us. Greg, you may be exonerated here. I think you're fully exonerated here just on the basis of that statement alone. Oh, I like that. In fact, I can hear the phone ring, and it must be the governor now.

Wait a minute now. How do you know that? Well, when I look at them, when I stop to pull over to drain this, I can actually feel and smell which set it is that's dragging. All right, well, that being the case, I think you may have a faulty power booster. Exactly. And the way you're going to figure this out is the next time it happens, instead of opening the hydraulic lines, unbolt the master cylinder from the booster. Okay.

Because when it happens, you can't move the truck. You can't even push it. It won't roll. Right. If you unbolt the master cylinder from the booster and the problem goes away that it's the booster that's no good. Ooh. If the problem doesn't go away, then it's the master cylinder.

And this would mean that we've been very cruel to you. and we've blamed you only because of the chronology. Well, and the fact that you withheld valuable information from us. Okay, okay. Good luck, Greg.

See him in. All right, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. Dangerous. I think it could be a piston. He could have put a piston in and jammed it. I think he lied about the front brakes. I mean, and how can it be the front brakes? He didn't touch the front brakes.

We know it was him. Yeah. We know it was him. Can't trust him. No. Don't trust the caller. One-88-8-8-8-8-car. Talk, it's 888.

2,27, 8,255. A lawyer on Car Talk. Hello, this is Les Block from Minneapolis. I want to know if there are any messages. Hey, how are you, Les? Oh, great. Listen, I'm actually calling Tom because I need a bass player. Hey, look, I lost your email address.

And I've been trying to locate there. And there were about 3 million other people who would like it, too. So why don't you give it to us right on the air? This really is Les Block. Yes, it is. Les has a very distinctive voice. Les is probably the greatest musician that has ever lived. Well, I won't argue with that.

Of course. How could you argue with it? And besides, you're such a nice guy. You wouldn't argue with anybody about anything. Well, I don't know about that. Out in Minnesota, they think of me as a New Yorker. So, you know, I'm not sure. It's not the same.

It's not the same. But you are the perfect blend of New York roughness and Minneapolis sweetness. I like that's very sweet. Isn't that interesting? How many years have you? you've been in exile? I actually left Tom's apartment building in Cambridge in 1972.

Yeah, and stay out! So you left exciting Cambridge, Ma, for Minneapolis. What was the lure? The lure was a gig. Yeah. Less is the president of the University of Minnesota. You probably didn't know that. I don't know it either.

And the world's greatest musician at the same time plays every instrument known to man, including the accordion. Yeah, in fact, I was just going to go over to President Udolph's office and chase him out and tell him I really belong there. Get him out of there. Get out of there, Udorf. Tom said I'm the president. Hey, Les, nice hearing from you.

It's great. Listen, I hope to see you soon. We'll have to do it again one of these days. And just practice that bass because I'm in need of a bass player. Okay. Take care, babe. See, see. 1-88-car talk.

So you make it up noise. You make a sense? I knew he would become. I didn't get his number. Well, it's happened again. You vaporized another perfectly good hour listening to Car Talk. Our esteemed producer is Doug the subway fugitive Bongo Boy, Berman. Our associate producers are, now, we got some flack about using Louis the barbarian cronin.

So some family members, I guess, recommended a different name. Yes. It's Louis' mother. Louis' mother. Used to refer to the entire family by this name. Monen, groan, groan. And David Gibraltar Green. Our engineer is Tad Masa Mancari.

Our senior webb lackey is Doug. Asked me about my grand sheep, mayor, and our technical, spiritual, and menu advisor. Just back from the Key West Conch Collada and Cocoa Butter Cotillion. It's John Bugsy Lawler. Really? Yeah, he's back. Our public opinion poster is Paul Merkey of Merkey Research,

assisted by statistician Margin Overa. Our customer care representative is Haywood Jabuzov. Car Talk Plaza Senior Onanthologist is Seymour Robbins. Our employee orientation specialist is Trudy Gauntlet. And our special liaison to the California Energy Commission is Tanya Lighthoff. Our sexual harassment investigator is Hank Pankey. Our meteorologist from the New Delhi office is Luke Out of Vindo. Our liaison to the space program is Roger Houston.

Our Russian chauffeur is peek-off and drop-off. Our French vacation specialist is April Lynn Paris. Our Australian tour guide is Joaquin Matilda, and our seat cushion tester is Mike Easter. Our chief counsel from the law firm of Dewey Cheetahman Howe is Uluis Dewe, known to the chipmunks on no-dose in Harvard Square as Ui-Louis-Dooey. We're clicking clack for Tappertit Brothers. Don't drive like my brother. Don't drive like my brother. We'll be back next week. Bye-bye.

Car Talk is a production of Dewee Cheatham & Howe and WBUR in Boston. And even though public radio station managers put on Groucho glasses and sneak down the fire Whenever we say it, this is NPR National Public Radio.