The Best of Car Talk - #2673: Thelma and Louise II

Episode Date: September 12, 2026

Lydia is about to finish her graduate program and to celebrate she wants to grab a girlfriend, hop into a classic muscle car and drive across the US, just like Thelma and Louise. We think maybe Lydia kind of forgot how that movie ends, but hey… Find out which model Click and Clack think has the best aerodynamic potential on this episode of the Best of Car Talk. Support public media with NPR+ and enjoy perks for over 25 podcasts like this one. Car Talk's perks include full archive access, new call-in bonus episodes with Ray, and sponsor-free listening. Learn more at plus.npr.org.See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us Click and Clack to Tappert Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the complaint department here at Car Talk Plaza. Geez, what are you complaining about today? I am not complaining about anything. I'm just anticipating the complaints that we're going to get. This is so unpolitically correct. I know this is in very, very bad taste. I know it's going to annoy and disturb lots of people, but I can't.

out myself because it's so funny. Good enough reason for me. Here it is. I'll laugh at anyone's expense. That's my motto. You'll just know that I give you the title. You know your trailer trash, when? Oh, okay.

And I'll just pick out a half a dozen of these, which are all fabulous. You've been married three times and you still have the same in-laws. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean. This might be the best one. You know your trailer trash? If anyone in your family ever died right after saying, Hey, guys, watch this. You don't have to be trailer trash.

You just have to be a guy. You know your trailer trash if you think Don Perignon. is a mafia leader. You know your trailer trust, if you think the last words of the Star Spangled banner are, gentlemen, start your engines. You know your trailer trust?

If you think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. And my personal favorite, you know your trailer trust, if you think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.

Now, I know that that's going to get a lot of people upset, but it was worth it, wasn't it? I love the one. Hey, guys, watch this. Hey, guys, what is this? If anyone ever died after the words. Well, look, if you've had enough unfounded stereotypes that you'd like to move on to unfounded car advice, then give us a call. Our number is 888-car talk. That's 888-2278, 244.

55. Hello, you're on car talk. Hello, this is Hendie from North Carolina. Hendie? Yes, actually short from my real first name, which is Hendrick. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. So what's up? I have a 1993 Ford Escort.

Okay. And when I slowed down, this started a well back, and it started faintly, and it's gotten stronger. When I slow down towards the very end, the front two tires make this thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, fump, fump, sound. Yeah. And, okay, so I took the tires off the front and I look at the disc brakes and everything, and everything looks just hunky-dory, and I knocked my hammer on once or twice just for good measure. Yeah. And put the wheels back on, and it went away for about a day or two.

And then it slowly came back again. What did you whack with the hammer? The calipers? Uh, yeah. Something on the top of the caliper. Just kind of gave him a little knock. A little knock. Yeah.

Did you say to your friends who were around, hey, guys, watch this? No. You don't know what you hit, but you gave something a little knock. Yeah, I mean, I knocked the top of the caliper. Does that make sense? Yeah. You say you hear this dump, dump, dump, but you don't feel anything? Oh, yes, I do feel it as well.

In the brake pedal. In the brake pedal. Yes, a little bit in the brake pedal, yeah. And it's definitely, it's not anything. If I slow down without hitting the brake pedal at all, it doesn't happen at all. So it's definitely in the brakes. Oh, yeah, and it's in the front brakes because if you were to slow down by applying the emergency break, for example. It doesn't happen anything.

Which is what we do when we test these things. We try to isolate it. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I don't know why it went away. Okay. I think you're hallucinating that. Yeah, that's the only piece of the story. I mean, we like to have nice, no, as Columbo would say, we don't want any loose ends.

Uh-huh, uh-huh. And so the idea that you could have tapped and made this go away. is very disturbing to both of us. Okay. Right, and it sounds like you made it up and you're lying to us. We won't hold that against you. Well, I mean, don't forget,

there is a phenomenon. I don't know what... The placebo effect of some kind. It's akin to it. Akin to placebo that you want to think that what you did worked. Well, well, my girlfriend agreed that it did work.

She did. Yes. She must love you very much. Because it had gotten really bad, and when I took the tires off and put him back on, it was basically a wave. Well, here's one thing. His what's wrong with the car, and here's an explanation.

We're going to have to assume he's not lying. All right. He's very, very... Doesn't sound like a liar. He's a very credible witness. I can pick out liars just like that. That's what I told him when I was called for jury duty. They threw me out on my rear end.

Here's what's wrong with his car, and here's what I think happened. All right. You have a warped disc rotor. Okay. And the talent. The snapping did nothing to take care of the warp. What did do something over was taking the wheel nuts off and putting them back on. Because it's often the case if wheel nuts are overtightened,

that's one of the leading causes of warped disc rotors. And they caution all of us in the auto repair industry not to overtaken wheel nuts because you can take perfectly good rotors and warp them. I see. So it may be that the reason that the rotor warped in the first place was that someone had overtightened the nuts and that you simply, by taking the nuts off and putting them back on, you unworped it a little bit, or maybe you corrected the warp by putting the lug nuts back on

for a short period of time. And then it came back. So that's the whole story, Hendon. You've got to take it someplace and have your rotors replaced. Okay, okay. Yeah, and they're real bad, so you've got to do it soon. Okay. See you, man.

Thank you so much. Bye-bye. 1-88-car talk. That's 888-227-8-255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hey guys, this is Bruce in New York City. Hi, Bruce. How are you doing?

Good. How about you guys? Not bad. Great. Hey, I have a paranormal car problem. Yes. I inherited a car when my father passed away. It's a 93 Christler Concord.

And I'm in New York City, so I don't own a car. I never had a car before, and there's nothing to really do with a car. So the only thing I could think is to do is to go visit the cemetery and pay my respect and thank him for the car. So I took my 10-year-old daughter, Juliana, with me, and we drove out to Long Island to the cemetery, and it was time to leave, the battery was just dead. Like everything else there. So I needed a jump, and just as an aside, I don't know if you ever tried to get a jump

in a graveyard, but it's actually pretty hard. Excuse me, ma'am, I'm terribly sorry for your loss. But do you have jump a cables in your trunk? I found the guy who was relatively composed, and he was alone, so I asked him if he can give me a jump, and $10. later he said sure he charged you yeah it's new york still remember oh yes new york i'm sorry okay now here's a problem i'm driving home we'd leave the cemetery and all of a sudden i hear a horn blaring at me and i look around and there's no one there it's me it's my horn and it's not stopping

and then all the sudden the locks just start going up and down all on their own so i pull over I turn off the car, I stop it. The horn is still going off, but then the trunk popped open. Great. Really? Really? Wow, this is the ghost of dad. Yeah.

So. Were you on good terms when your father passed away? I was his favorite. I was absolutely his favorite. I think he's getting even with something. You think so? Well, it could be. So anyway, so what happens now is I parked my car in a garage,

and the garage attendants are a little bit of afraid to the car because the horn just goes off on its own until it blows out. The locks go up and down. And I thought of a solution for the trunk was I bought a roll of duct tape and a center block. But finally, the battery was draining because whenever the trunk would pop open, the light would go on, and then I'd get my car and there'd be no battery. So finally, the garage attendant, he unplugged something in the back of the trunk so the trunk won't pop open anymore, but I still have the horn and the locks going on, and then I can't use the electric trunk. So I guess my question to you is, do I need an exorcist or a mechanic?

Oh, both. Man, that's great. Yeah, no, this is... I especially like the locks going up and down, don't you? Constantly. Boom, boom, boop, boom. Yeah. And that day when it first happened, and you pulled over to the side of the road and shut off the engine,

it started right up again. Oh, the car starts fine, yeah. Where did your father live? On Long Island. Was the car ever in a flood of any kind or high water? No. Would you like it to be? Very much.

Well, here's what I mean, I don't know where the controller is located for all this stuff. That is the relays. But my guess is that somehow water has gotten into the relays that control the power door locks and the trunk releases. All that stuff is operated electrically. There's actually a little solenoid that operates the door locks. What you should do in the short term at the very least is instead of taping down the trunk or removing things like that, you should just remove the positive or rather the negative terminal from the battery. Uh-huh.

And that's easy enough to do. It takes a few seconds. And that will absolutely kill everything. It will prevent all these things from happening. And more than that, it'll prevent the battery from dying. So when you want to use the car, which I suspect is infrequently, you can just hook the battery up. and the horn may start blowing, but it may not. But I would say that your best bet here is to take it to an electrical shop

and have them first look at the relays. And I would bet you that all those relays are affected somehow by the same thing. When you fix one problem, you're going to fix them all. Okay. I love it. I love it, too. Man. Yeah, I love it too.

And you can't sell the car now. Oh, no. Of course not. Well, the Exorcist idea might take care of it. I could donate it. No, you can't do that either. Who are you going to donate it to? No, one's going to take it.

No, especially when you tell them what happened to it. Definitely some kind of nonprofit astrological society. Good luck, Bruce. Thanks a lot, guys. Thanks for you call. Bye-bye. Man, there are some strange things. There are indeed.

That was strange. We'll be right back with the answer to the puzzler after these messages. Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us. Click and Collect the Tappert Brothers. and we're here to talk about cars, car repair, and the answer to last week's puzzler. This is from my coin series.

I'm dying to hear the answer to this. Here it is. I'm dying to hear the question for them. You're sitting at a table and you're blindfold and you're wearing mittens. On the table is a bunch of pennies. You don't know how many pennies. It's unimportant.

But I did tell you a certain number of them is facing heads up. Let's say it's 10. Okay. So you tell me he's only. bunch of pennies in front of you, and ten of them are heads up. Now, with your mittens on, you can move the pennies around, your blindfold and you're wearing mittens, you can move the pennies around, you can pick them up, you can put them down again,

you can listen to them, you can shake them, you do whatever you want, see if Abe Lincoln talks to you. Yeah. And the question is, is it possible to separate those pennies into two groups so that each group has the same number of pennies facing heads up? I got it. Okay. All right.

Now, the reason you're wearing mittens is that you can't feel the, you know, if we could trust you, we wouldn't have. You can trust me. I don't trust you. You're wearing the mittens. Yeah. Well, here's how you do it. Yeah, go ahead. I can hardly wait.

I'm going to tell you, like I said, you don't know how many coins are on the table. I'm going to tell you there are 10 coins facing heads up. From that big group, take 10 coins. I can slide them over. I can do that. So now you have up, so now you have in front of you a little group. of 10 coins. Got them right here. And the larger group, okay, off somewhere on the rest of the table. And some of the heads could be in my little group and some not. That's right. Now, I always like

using limit theory when solving this kind of a problem. What if you had, by luck, chosen all tails? Yeah. Okay? Where would all the heads be? In the other pile. Okay, they would be in the other pile. So how would you make the two piles show the same number? I would flip over every single one that I just had except I can't do it because I got a stupid mittens on. But for this part, once you've gotten to this point, it will allow you to remove the mittens. And it turns out that no matter which, no matter what number of heads you manage to cull out of that bigger group,

you're going to flip over all your coins, because it turns out that the number of tails that you pull out always equals the number of heads remaining in the larger group. Say that again? The number of... Well, let's say, for example, that you pull out your 10 coins, nine of them are tails, and one of them's a head. Right. How many heads are left in the big group?

Nine. Nine. Let's say it's eight and two. How many heads are left in the big group? Eight. How many tails do you have? Two. No, eight.

And when you flip those eight tails over, you have eight heads in your group and eight heads. So the way you do it is you take out ten coins. Or whatever number of coins you're told are facing heads up. Right. And in this case, it's ten. And I flip those. over. And you're done. And I'm done. Pretty good, huh?

Wow. That's very good. Do we have a winner? You bet we do. William Innes from Missoula, Montana. By the way, this only works if it's two... It's only working if it's a two-sided coin. Three-sided coins, it wouldn't work. No. The winner this week is William Innes from Missoula, Montana, and for having his correct answers selected at random, from all the correct

answers that we got this week, William is going to get a $25 gift certificate to the shameless commerce division at the Car Talk section of Cars.com. With which, I might add, he can get our father's CD collection, why you should never listen to your father when it comes to cars. And if you order it now, William, we guarantee you'll have it in time for Father's Day. If not this year's Father's Day, definitely next year's Father's Day. Indeed. Anyway, we'll have a new, I guess you'd have to call it automotive or semi-automotive puzzle. what coming up in the third half of the show. Quasi. I don't know what it is. It's quasi. Yes, master. So don't touch that dial. In the meantime, if you have a question about your car or anything else,

give us a call it 8888-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-2-5. Hello, you're on car talk. Hi, this is Kathy in Kansas City. Hi, Kathy. I'll let my brother ask if it's a C or a K. Oh, it's a given. It's a K. It's Kansas City, K-K. Of course. Happy from Kansas City, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have an, I'm the original owner of an 89 Honda Accord LXI. Okay. The last two or three years, when the weather gets warm, it intermittently doesn't want to start. Really?

It will turn over, but it won't actually start. See, you know, we must have had. And then you go away, and you come back maybe like the next morning and it starts. It's getting longer as the years go by. It used to start in about five minutes. Yesterday it took about three hours. Getting tough to keep a job. Yeah.

You've endured this for what, three years? Yes. And you haven't had anyone fix it? Well, I've had my mechanic come a couple times, but by the time he gets over there, it starts right up, and he says, well, I can't fix something that isn't broken. Yeah, I know. Well, that isn't really true. Yeah, we have that same problem, so our solution is we break something, then we fix it. Oh, well, I break something, but I don't know what to break.

Well, you need, if we had a rash of these phone calls about this very problem, last summer. Great. I'm not alone. When it got warm in most of the country. Right, when most of the country was experiencing high temperatures. Uh-huh. And I regret to tell you that we couldn't help any of those people.

No, no, we know what the answer is. It's not a gremlin after all? It is not a gremlin. No. So good. But what you need is a fuel pump relay. A fuel pump relay. The fuel pump relay is located above your left knee.

Okay. Only when you're sitting in the car. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Not now. Not now, no. And it sends electricity to the fuel pump, which is in the tank. And what's happening is that the relay, when it gets really hot, doesn't close and doesn't send the current back to the pump.

And the pump won't run, and you can crank the car all you want. It'll go, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wow, wow, wow. Yeah, and never turn over. It won't fire up. That's right, because it's not getting fuel. Oh, okay. Now, if you parked in the shade, or in a cool spot or didn't lock your car. Okay.

You might try that as an experiment. It will probably start right up. But better than that, go to the Honda dealer and ask them to replace your fuel pump relay. Fuel pump relay. Cool, huh? Cool. Well, it seems complicated to me, but it sounds pretty simple coming from you. Doesn't it?

Yeah. But you guys are having way too much fun. Good luck, Kathy. Okay, thanks. See, bye. Bye-bye. Good luck. Wow.

All right, Tommy. It's time to dig into the call. webbed reaches of your mind. I thought we did that last week's puzzle that thing already. No, even deeper. Deeper. It's time for where are they now, Tommy. This is where we tracked down a formal

wacko caller from the past and find out how institutional life is treating him or her. That's right. So who is the subject of our deep background investigation this week? Johnny? Well, it's Kirsten from Kosovo. Kirsten called us last year. You're going to remember to get advice on storing her 86 Honda CRX

while she spent two years in Kosovo, the jewel of the Balkans. 86 Honda? An 86 Honda, yeah. So are you going to Kosovo for the money? Is that it? No, we do good work over there. We do?

Yeah. And so the government has this facility. Do you know where they're going to store it? I mean, is they going to just park in the street? They're going to store it in Kosovo. What is it to meet it for three years? I mean, what does it mean, storm? Why are you going to Kosovo for two years?

You're some kind of a state department person? Sort of like that, yeah. Spy? No, not a spy. Well, she wouldn't be able to tell us. I work in international development. Spy. International development?

Yeah. Spy. Anyway. Like weightlifting? Spies are such good liars, you know what I mean? I guess they would have to be. Kirsten, are you there? I am.

I'm here. Hey, are you calling us from Kosovo? In fact, no, I'm calling you from California. I'm home on R&R for two weeks. So what did you do while you... What have you been doing? Well... I mean, you can tell us about.

I'm telling you, I'm not a spy. I work in international development. There's nothing to spy on over there for pity's sake. I believe that, too. There's no intelligence in there, believe me. There's no intelligence right here either. So what's going on there? I mean, what should we know about?

It's a pretty interesting place. I'm the public affairs officer for the U.S. Agency for International Development, so I spread the good word about the work that our government is doing to help people of Kosovo rebuild their country. Oh, so you're a propagandist? Yeah, pretty much, yeah, just like you guys. So are you driving a car while you're there? I'm not. We have drivers.

We're not allowed to have cars over there. No propagandists. We're entitled to drivers. Spies are. You guys are going to love this. Whenever we leave Prisina, we have to ride around in these fully armored vehicles. And they're Chevy Suburban's. Yeah.

And they weigh about 12 tons. They're fully armored. The doors alone weigh about 500 pounds. I always need help opening the door to get in and out of the car. Jeez. So what have you heard from your car? I've heard nothing from my car, quite literally nothing. Well, you told them you wouldn't be back for two years.

Yeah. So they had on the two-year lease. Exactly what I think. They have it on a two-year lease with the with an adornment rollback program. You recall, you recall it was in 1986 Honda CRX

with 153,000 miles. I don't think they're going to get much money for this. You'd be surprised. You know, the government is very precise. It will have exactly 153,216 miles on it. Oh, yeah. Which will be what you left it there with.

Minus a tenth. Right. Right. That's right, because they backed it into the parking space. Whoops. Hey, Kirsten, thanks a million for being on. See you. See you. See you guys. Bye-bye.

Interesting person. If you hear someone on our show that you'd like to hear from again, drop us a note, and maybe we'll try to track them down for where are they now, Tommy. We'll be right back with more calls and the new puzzler after these messages. We're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Clack the Tappert Brothers. and we're here to talk about cars, car repair, and the new puzzler. And this came right out of cyberspace from a guy named Michael Leiden, and I don't know where he's from.

No one knows. And he says, I heard an encore show, da, da, da, da, I figured you guys are in bad shape for puzzlers. It sounds so pathetic and, you know, the usual drivel. Anyway, he goes on to say, I cut my mechanics teeth, so to speak, as a pump jockey at a Sunoco station in the Burbs of Cleveland. In other words, he pumped gasoline in the suburbs of Cleveland, and he says in parentheses, that's the one hint you get. Oh. We had a guy who helped out holding wrenches, catching oil spills, holding up cars, and his name was Harley.

Strong as an oxen, twice as smart, we said. Yeah, I like it. One day a friend came in with a Chevy 350 engine that he had picked up at a junkyard. and he was going to rebuild it. He wanted some pointers, what to do, and I'd go about to tear down and all that. And after some pointers, he asked one question, how do I get the engine to rotate in the other direction?

Harley was stumped, as you might expect. Strong as an oxen and twice as smart. So we goofed around them and told them that maybe it installed a transmission in backwards and all that, and that's why he wanted the engine to run backwards. But the question remained. Why would you want to rebuild an engine so that it ran backwards? That's the question. Harley couldn't answer it, but maybe you can.

If you think you know the answer, write it on a postcard, or on the back of two third-row center orchestra tickets to the producers. And send them to Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3,500, Harvard Square, Cambridge. Our Fair City. Matt 022-38, or you can email your answer from the... car talk section of cars.com. The number if you'd like to call us is 1-888-8-8-8-8-2-2-7-8-255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Yeah, this is Gene Kott from Shakapapu, Minnesota. Gene from Shokat-Tee? Shaka-Pee. And I have a problem with a 90-to-oit-Turcell.

90-Tur-Sel. Yeah, it's a car that shouldn't have lasted this long in Minnesota, but it has. 11 years old, pretty good. In Minnesota, you're right. Yeah, it must have 100. 68,000 miles on it, right? Close. Actually, I just replaced the engine, though. So you're going for the lunar record?

Possibly. Yeah. Rulner record, for those who don't know, is 225,000 miles. I'll probably make it with this one. When you said you put a new engine in it, what's new mean? Yeah, what I did. There's a company called Japanese Engine Exchange that you can buy them from Japan. They have a weird program where they tax people in Japan reverse,

so as your car gets older, your tax goes out. So people turn their engines in, and in cars, they scrap them and sell the engines to the U.S. people. Boy, that sounds like a made-up story, doesn't it? But it's true. I mean, you believe it? It's like Cozmaline. Have you been there? No.

It's like Cozmaline, exactly. When we were kids, we were told it for 50 bucks you could buy an Army Jeep packed in Cosmoline that was left over from World War II. They had shipped all of these over for the Pacific Theater of Operations. In crates. And when the war ended early, because of the atomic bomb, they had thousands of the, left, and they were making them available only to high school students. And for 50 bucks, you could have one, and we said, yippee! So, I mean, this story sounds good, so anyway, you have a relatively new engine.

Yeah, I do, and it actually performs really well. It has good compression and everything, but my problem is it idles super fast when it's cold, and then when it warms up, it slows down to where it will barely idle. And if I turn the AC on on a hot day, it dogs the engine so much where it will want to quit. And I think there's some type of a controller on my carburetor that's, you know, controlling that idle, but I don't know what it is. Oh, you have a carburetorz? Yeah. You have a 90?

Oh, this is the last one. Probably so. I mean, the very last one. Okay. What's your vin? A, B, C. No kidding. Yeah.

Well, luckily, it's... If you really do have a carburetor, this is a simple thing to fix. I think it's more complicated. It's more complicated because this thing has a variable venturi carburetorreterator. Yeah, there's some controller on it that it's proprietary, and Toyota won't tell me about it unless I take it in. Yeah. We're not going to tell you about it.

You want us to get killed him? Come on. If I tell you, I'll have to kill you. Well, the ninjas are over. outside the studio as we speak ready to take us out. That's right. But I don't think I've ever taken one of these carburetas apart. Okay.

But wait a minute, when you bought this engine, it came without a carburetor. That's correct. So where'd you get, you used the carburetor from your other engine? Yes, I did. And it worked okay on the old engine. It's just the engine had a problem with the oil pump and it wiped the cam, so I just tossed it. You know what I'm thinking? Yeah.

I'm thinking that you don't have a carburetor problem at all. rather you have a vacuum leak. Okay. Yeah, because if it worked on the other engine, it should work on this one. Okay. You didn't drop it down a flight of stairs or anything, wouldn't you? No. Before you put it on, did you?

No, I haven't. He's laughing because you dropped it on the ground once, didn't you, change? Those castings don't hold up to them. Well, it's possible that what you have is an intake manifold leak. Okay. And that could account for all of your conditions. Hmm. And the way you can find the vacuum leak is by spraying,

carburetor cleaner while the engine is running. All right. To see if you can change the idle. You can spray it around where the intake manifold bolts to the cylinder head. Sure. And if you can change the speed, then maybe you have found it and the new gasket will fix it. Okay. Otherwise, start saving up for a carburetor.

Yeah, or get rid of the car. No, you can't get rid of it. Now you're going for the record, man. I will. See you later. Okay, thanks. Bye. 1-888-car talk.

That's 888-227-8-8-25-5. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hey, this is Lydia from Washington, D.C. Lydia. What an interesting name. Yeah? Well, actually, I have a bet with somebody. I thought that you would sing the Groucho Mark song.

Oh, of course we would do that. Lydia, oh, Lydia, that encyclopedia. I want a tattoo lady. No, my, I have a niece named Lydia. No kidding. I guess we both have a niece named Lydia. No, we don't. Because she happens to be Tom's daughter.

Oh, well, there you know. That would explain it. I thought she was your daughter. Where'd you say you were from, Lydia? I'm calling from Washington, D.C. Are you a lawyer or a politician? Actually, I work at the Smithsonian and on a graduate student. Do you really?

Yes, I do. Wow. Oh, a graduate student in art history. Yes. Which actually brings me to my question. I'm working on an exhibit right now called America on the Move. We're redesigning the entire Transportation Hall of American History. Yeah.

And it's supposed to open in 2003. And I'm hoping that my dissertation will also be done at that point. And so I've decided that since I'm doing this whole thing on transportation, and we have a piece of Route 66, that the summer after I finish, I want to do kind of a Thelman-Louise thing, take a tour across the country, without the blood and carnage, of course. I don't want to, like, kill anybody. Unless they get in your way.

Exactly. Well, you know, that's why I'll need to call you guys on. I don't want to kill anybody unless I really have to. So I'm sorry. That's fine. Okay. So I'm trying to think of what kind of car I want to buy it, because I want to buy a cool car. I want to buy something like the one that Thelma Lewis was driving, you know, convertible or older car.

Oh, yeah. And I also want to be able to be able to work on it myself if I need to. So I wanted to get your opinion on this. If you had the opportunity to drive cross-country for a summer, what car would you want? I would want a 70s Chevrolet. Okay, 70s Chevrolet. Because a 70s Chevrolet, the only thing you'd be missing is an airbag. Okay.

But you would have pretty much all of the other technological advancements made since the turn of the century that last time. Okay. Like air conditioning and so far. You could have air conditioning. You could have an eight-track tape player. And you could have power brakes, power steering, all that stuff. Okay. And you wouldn't have seatbelts and you wouldn't have an airbag, but you might not need one because.

the thing would weigh 5,000 bucks. Right, right. Yeah. So I would shoot for like a 72 Chevy Caprice Classic convertible. Ooh. I happen to have one for sale. Well, that was my other question.

No, I don't have one for sale. Here's what you do. Okay. You go to Hemmings Motor News. Hemings? Hemings. It's a publication you can get on your newsstand or you can go online.

And you can get to them through our website. Okay. Or you can get to them directly from the Cars.com website. Okay. And you will find a little. of every used car that's more than 50 years old in the entire world. Uh-huh.

And you will find yourself a nice 70s Chevy. Okay. And you'll find someone in Washington, D.C., who just finished rebuilding everything, and he's, you know, he's a philanthropist. He wants to give it away to some struggling grad students. Hey, hopefully he's heard this show. Your future is assured. And that's it.

I mean, the other advantage of this is that when you, you go across the country, you've got a better shot of someone being able to fix this. Exactly. Than just about anything else. Right. And if I don't get the philanthropic gentleman, what would you say the price range that would probably go for? You could get one of these cars, I would say, in great condition for $5,000 to $10,000. Not if it's convertible.

Yeah. If it's convertible, add $5 to $10. Well, you can get, you have to sacrifice. Do you want the top to go up and down? Are you willing to accept when it's just down? Well, I mean, the sacrifice you might have to make is beauty. Okay. And I would certainly make that sacrifice.

I mean, I would sacrifice rust for money. Okay. Your wife made that same decision some years ago. Well, Lydia, first of all, have a wonderful trip. Thank you very much. And secondly, you've got to stay in touch with us. We want to know where and how you broke down. Oh, definitely.

Yeah. We want to know all the details, so we may have to even, you know, chronicle your trip on our website. I would love that. That would be fantastic. Yeah, it would be great. And just for my own benefit, my own edification. Uh-huh. What does a graduate in art history write for a dissertation?

Well, actually, it's history, not art history. Oh, it's history. Yes. Yes. My dissertation is I'm looking at women, African-American women, in the 68 Olympics. You know, the one of I raised. their fists and said, we're mad. Sure.

Well, I want to know what happened with the women. Because it was a guy who got all the publicity. Exactly. So I'm looking at the women. Oh, you've tracked them down? Well, yes, actually, they're all still alive. Unfortunately, Wilma Rudolph has passed on, but I'm still writing an article for her in a text

that's actually coming out of Radcliffe Press. Well, Wilma Rudolph was something. She was my hero. I mean, she was just a terrific athlete, but she was also so engaging and articulate. What a great gal. Very much. And these other women seem to be in the same category,

so I'm looking forward to doing research with them and interviewing them. So I'll keep you a prize of that as well. Terrific. Keep us posted. Great. Have a nice trip. Thank you so much. Bye.

Take care. Well, it's happened again. You've squanted one of your last three hours of the week listening to Carthogh. What a misfortune. Our esteemed producer is Doug the subway fugitive, Bungo Boy Berman. Our associate producers are Louis Cronin, the Barbarian. And David Gibraltar Green, our engineer is Tad Masamankari, our senior web black.

He is Doug Sheep Boy Mayor and our technical, spiritual, and menu advisor just back from his upset at the Cape Cod Cavalcade of Cutlins. He's John Bugsy Lawler. And we had helped this week from Carlis the comic Kursinger. Oh, yes. Callis Sue, the comic. Oh, Carlos Sue, indeed. Our public opinion poster was Paul Murky Research, assisted by status. Our customer care representative is Haywood Jabuzoff.

Our director of allergy research is Teresa Pollinating. Our guide to rapid sun taining is less block. And our air traffic controller is Yulanda. You lucky. Our sexual harassment investigator is Hank Pankey. Our meteorologist from the New Delhi office is Luke out of window. Our Elvis impersonator from the Cairo offices, Amal shook up. Our Russian chauffeur is peek-off and drop-off.

And our Australian tour guide is Joaquin Matilda. and, of course, our seat cushion tester is Mike Easter. Our chief counsel, as always from the law firm of Dewey Cheetahman Howe is U. Lewis Dewey, known to the tofu dog vendors in Harvard Square as Ui Louie Dewee. Thanks so much for listening. We're clicking clack to Tapit Brothers. And remember whatever you do, don't drive like my brother. Ah, shut up.

We'll be back next week. Bye-bye. Car Talk is a production of Dewee Cheetaheeman Howe and WBUR in Boston. And even though Bill Clinton pops out of retirement to tell him, NPR listeners, he feels their pain. Whenever he hears us say it, this is NPR National Public Radio.