The Best of Car Talk - #2677: Stumps and Chumps

Episode Date: September 26, 2026

Jane and Andy are ‘the stumpers’ and we all know who the chumps are on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.Support public media with NPR+ and enjoy perks for over 25 podcasts like this one. Car Talk's perks include full archive access, new call-in bonus episodes with Ray, and sponsor-free listening. Learn more at plus.npr.org.See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us Click and Clack to Tappertr Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the Small Victories Department here at Car Talk Plaza. It might be small, but it might be big. As you know, we have been proponents of banning cell phones while driving for the last hundred years to the point where every cell phone company has our pictures on a dot board. Things they throw at us. It's a Dodge dartboard. Dodge dartboard.

And the other day or last week, I guess it's all done. The grand state of New York has banned the use of handheld cell phones while driving in the entire state of New York. And I have to give them a big, a big whatever you give people. Salute. No, no, no, no. A salute. A salute. Bronx cheer.

And I hope, I just hope that this gives other states that the courage. You know, sometimes you don't want. want to do something, you don't want to be first. And the state of New York has taken up the challenge here. They're first. And now all the other sleazeballs politicians, I shouldn't say that, who didn't have the guts to do this and were succumbing to all the lobbyists of the cell phone industry. Maybe we'll have the courage now to do it too. And so we say to the previously all powerful cell phone lobby in the spirit of safety and public spirit. Nah, nah, nah. I hate lobbyists, every single one of them.

I am a little disappointed because it seemed like it was a compromise. Well, it was. That you really don't want cell phones used at all in cars, whether they're hands-free or not. We know that they have to go a little bit further. And hopefully over the first few months when this new law gets instituted, which I understand is not until December or something, maybe they'll realize that there are just as many accidents without hand-hound. phones, which we know from research is what's going to happen.

Well, and maybe it'll go the next step. And maybe then they'll go the next step. And we will do things because they're right, not because somebody has to make money. I'm sick and tired of it. Well, anyway. Someone said, I haven't been ranting enough lately. No. I haven't been ranting enough.

It's amazing. When you get the right size underwear, everything falls in a place. And the right dosage. The right dosage. Well, anyway, the cell phone campaign goes on. I mean, this is just one little tiny, victory. Yeah. So if you want one of our free bumper stickers that say, drive now,

talk later, just send a self-addressed stamped envelope to bumper sticker, Car Talk Plaza, box 3,500, Harvard Square, Cambridge. Our Fair City? Matt, 02238. If you want to call us, not from your car phone, of course, the number is

8888-8-8-2-7-8-255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Gary. I'm calling from Hollister, Missouri. Hi, Gary. Hollister, Missouri? Hollister, Missouri. Just down the road from Silver Valley Hillbillies came from. They did? Yeah.

Didn't you know that? No. Yeah, that's where all the oil was back then. I mean, the clampets? Yeah. That's what they did, the first show was in Silver Dollar City, and they've now got a big theme park there. No.

Yeah. Really? Boy, that's great information. But, yeah, they're talking about oil. Did you know that the country's oil problems, why they were having all this oil problems? Why? Because nobody's checking on our reserves.

All the oils in Texas and Oklahoma, but the dipsticks are in Washington, D.C. You ain't kidding. So what's up, Gary? Well, I've got a 1990 Plymouth Grand Voyager. Uh-huh. It's got a whole slew of recurring problems, but the main one is that the radiator keeps boiling over. Before last winter, and straight after it was done, I drove about 30 miles on a boiled over, as I took it back, and the guy looked at it and said, oh, he says, you water pump this.

So I replaced the water pump. I went for drive, about another 40 miles of boiled over again. I took it back. This time he said, well, you need to go to a radiator shop. So I took it to the radiator shop, you put a new radiator and it boiled. And I took it back to him, he said, oh, it's got a rebuilt wall pump in, so he's replaced with a new water pump, but it's still boiling over. The first incident happened right after the guy had winterized it, meaning he had changed the fluid. But it had boiled over before. They had boiled over. I took it in for him to check, and he said it just needs winterizing. That's when he went through the train that I put all the stuff in and everything. Okay, so it had been boiling over before that.

Yes, and when I first had, I mean, I've had it for about 8 and 9 years. Now I got it used to run real cold. It would never get about the halfway mark on the temperature gauge. Then it started running really hot. You didn't know how good you had it then. You'd take that now, wouldn't you? Yeah. Yeah.

Well, now, I remember in the old old days, cars just a thermostat at some sort somewhere in the water line. You do, too. Yeah. Oh, okay. And no one has ever changed that? Well, not that I'm aware. I've seen they would check that if it was going in boiling. Wouldn't they check that?

Well, long before I would replace a water pump, especially a perfectly good or perfectly adequate rebuilt one with a new one. I think I would want to change the thermostat first. Now, does the overheating occur when you're driving at sustained high speed, or does it occur after you've slowed down? No, if I drive around town, like just a regular trip, it never boils over. But as soon as I do about 30 miles or 60 miles an hour, that's when it boils. Oh.

Oh. Well. My brother just boiled over. Don't worry about a thing. I nodded off there for a second. No, you could easily have a bad thermostat. And if the thermostat were only opening halfway, for example, that would allow enough coolant to pass through to be adequate for city driving.

Right. On the other hand, if it's only opening halfway, it's not going to allow enough flow at sustained high-speed driving. Right. So I would take the thermostat out. That would be the first step. Put a new one in. Either that or leave it out and see what happens. But then it went, don't you need it in winter?

That was the problem. You're not going to make it to winter. We're working on the last ditch effort here. Because when that doesn't work. Yeah. I'm going to have to go with a blown head gasket. Okay. Yeah.

Head gasket. Okay. Good luck, Gary. Appreciate it. Bye, bye. Bye-bye. 1-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-2. 227, 8255, a lawyer on Car Talk.

Hi, this is Deborah from Washington, D.C. Is that the five-letter, Deborah? No, it's not. The seven-letter Deborah? Yes, it's the biblical, Deborah. It's a biblical, yes. Oh, my God. I suspected it was the seven-letter Deborah, because I heard the...

The way she said it. Yes. Good, good ears. Yeah. Yeah. Where are you from? I'm in Washington, D.C. You probably told us that, and we didn't hear it.

That's how good are you is on. That's right. Washington, D.C. Yes. That Washington, are you a politician or a lawyer? Well, strangely enough, I'm neither. But I do work in the area of politics. You do?

Yeah. And are you disgusted every day with what you see? Well, I do most of my work overseas now. Oh, that's what I would do, too. Oh, yeah, so you're part of the international spy community. I'm often times accused, but I'm not, but I do democracy and peacekeeping work overseas. Really? Yeah.

Oh, really? Yeah. Who do you work? Do you dare tell us who you work? I am a consultant right now. Oh, you're out of work. Self-unemployed, right. Well, I've actually worked for a number of really good institutes and agencies.

So you're a colonialist. Well, no, we're trying to teach all the developing nations how to run elections like we did in Florida this past fall. Great. Anyway, what's up? Well, I have a 1990-a-audy-80. and this car has some minor creaks and groans, but just keeps on going. The adometer stopped at 197,000 miles. Wow.

It was picked up by a tornado once and dropped, and they had to chainsawed trees away from the car, but eventually I got into the car and it drove away. When is it time to retire a car? What will be the symptoms that it's... no longer safe to drive this car. Well, I think any car that gets picked up by a tornado would qualify as having nine lives. How long ago was the tornado incident? The tornado incident, it was actually called a Doraco.

The tornado-like storm came through, a freak storm came through upstate New York, Labor Day 1998. Really? Is that like Dorito? Yeah. Dorito, Dorico. Call it what you will. It lifted the damn car.

And wrapped three trees around it. Did you... Was this a nacho cheese, Dorico? Or did you actually see the thing lift off the ground? No, it happened at about, I can remember, well, 1.20 a.m. in the morning. Well, how do you know that it actually was lifted off the ground? It wasn't where I parked it at night. Oh, my.

Yeah, it probably wasn't lifted very high. And after this happened, did you have anyone look at it? Sure, it's had... Oh, it's fine, right? Yeah. Yeah, I'm not worried about that. Your question, however, is, when do you know it's time? Yeah, my greatest fear is this, is that I'm driving down the interstate some point,

and my tires sort of roll off with a car breaks into or something. Yeah. Yeah, well, that could happen. Well, I don't know. That would ruin your day. I have a strong feeling that once a car gets beyond a certain mileage, and the magic mileage for me is 185. That's the number.

Once you get beyond 185,000, then it could go forever. Oh. Yeah. Well, is it, I mean, do frames break? Well, they do. Especially when they fall out of trees. That would be the kind of thing that you really could check. Yeah, I mean, the frame is unlikely to break in half.

It's because of the fall from the sky. It's more likely to rot away. And anyone that knows these cars, if you have a mechanic that you take the car too regularly, they'll know where to look. Okay. And you want the frame rails checked out. You want the floor pan checked out.

You also want to make sure that all the steering and suspension stuff is checking. You know, the ball joints, tire rod ends and all that. And if that stuff is all sound, and the brakes are good and the brake lines aren't rusted, then drive it. Yeah, I'm sure there's a little rush just because of the upstate winter. Of course there is. Don't forget that there are cars on the road that are a lot older than this, and there are cars on the road that have a lot more miles than this. So it isn't a given that just because the thing is 11 years old,

that it has to be a complete piece of junk, unless, of course, it's something that I've owned in the past. But, I mean, there are cars, don't forget, I have a lot. a car that's 50 years old. And that's a piece of junk. That's a piece of junk. But there are cars that are 20, 30 years old that people drive every day. Okay. There's nothing that says that it can't go on for a very long time.

Especially if you use it judiciously. I mean, I wouldn't jump in this car and drive it to California because there were lots of pieces which you can't test. Well, that's important advice because I do a lot of traveling. I just take off my car. I just returned, in fact, from Kentucky, which was a 9-10-hour each-way trip. And you took this car? Yeah.

Are you crazy? Well, I mean, the thing is, you can do that if you drive during the daytime. You don't, I mean, I wouldn't want to be in a 12-year-old car in the middle winter at 3 o'clock in the morning, driving on some lonely little road. That wouldn't be judicious. Okay. But you can do most anything. Yeah, as long as you're on the interstates.

Yeah, someone will, they'll find your body within date. Just what my mother wants to hear. She's already worried about me in this car. Well, she should be. Yeah. Well, thank you very much. Good luck, Deborah. Bye, bye.

See you later. Okay, Tommy, are you ready for your puzzler hints? I'm ready to roll, man. Go. Okay, here's the first one. The only way to kill a vampire is to drive a blank through his heart. A Lincoln Navigator. No, but that might work, too.

I was looking for a steak. Okay, here's the second one. Around Car Talk Plaza, you are known affectionately as the big blank. I know that one, unfortunately, the big jerk. I said affectionately. Oh, the big cahona. Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us.

Click and Collect the Tappert Brothers, and we're here to talk about cars, car repair, and the answer to last week's puzzler. And this puzzle was sent via email by someone named Tim Pugh, and the subject was The Steakout. I remember it. You do. Something about two guys go together. I forgot.

With puzzles like this, you always have to remember that all the hints are right here. You can't go looking for anything. More than you could ever ask for. It's usually more hints than you could ever ask for. No, no, there's just one. Here it is. A detective is on a stakeout. He's watching a warehouse where he knows a bunch of crooks meet.

But he wants to catch the boss, the Kahuna, you know. So he's watching this warehouse from the second floor of a nearby building. And crooks come and go all night. but he decided to wait until the boss shows up to move in. Now, he doesn't know what the boss looks like. All he knows is that he always travels with two bodyguards, never just one, and that he'll be in a white car. Finally, a white two-door coupe pulls up, an El Dorado, I think.

There are only two men in the car, so he knows that the Kahuna isn't with them. They get out of the car and they go into the building. The detective waits. While waiting, he nods off for a few minutes. When he wakes up, the coop is gone. He watches another half hour and falls asleep again. And when he finally wakes up for the ninth time, the same white coop is back. He uses his binoculars to look into the car.

Don't forget, he's in a warehouse across the alley. And he sees the car as empty. But he knows that the boss is inside. He calls back up. The joint is busted. They catch the big cahuna. How did he know? You know what I think to hint?

I have no idea what the answer is, but you know what I think the hint is the second floor? Really? No, the hint is the two-door coupe, because when he looks into the car after it arrives, it's empty. Don't forget, he wakes up, the car is there, but it's empty. Yeah. He notices that the seat back is pushed forward. It's a two-door car. The third person in the car.

Sneaked in while he was in the back seat and got out. So the Kahuna was riding up front, of course, and the other bodyguard was in the back. seat and when the three of them got out, the seat back was pushed forward and he said, now I know the big bosses in the building because there were three people in the car this time and not just two. So do we have a winner? Pretty good, huh? Well, I do like it.

I do like it. Well, it's better than... Ball... We have a winner. The winner is Michael Wilk from Quaker Hill, Connecticut. And for having his correct answers selected at random from the yacht full of correct dances that we got this week. Yeah, we did. Woof.

Michael is going to get a $25 gift certificate to the shameless commerce division at the Car Talk section of Cars.com, with which he can purchase two and three 11th copies of our tape. Men are from GM, women are from Ford, calls about couples and cars. Hey, look, we're going to have a new, I can't describe it yet because I haven't figured out which puzzle I'm going to use. for the season finale. I was wondering about that. It is the season finale. Well, you missed this is the seventh game, man.

You missed the playoff. You missed everything. I did. So don't tune us out yet because that's coming up, baby. In the meantime, if you have a question about your car or anything else, give us a call at 888-8-8-8-8-8-2-7-8-25. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Jane.

Jane. That's been a long time. Hi, guys. How are you doing? Fine, thanks. And yourself? Pretty good. Where are you from?

Well, I'm calling from a stump and a clear cut in the Eumatilla National Forest in Oregon. A stump in a clear cut. Standing on a stump in a clear cut because it's right above camp on this hill, and I get really good reception from this one certain stump. Really? Yeah. And what's a clear cut? That's like a place that's open because someone that's cut down the trees?

Lumber company. She was there trying to save this tree, but a day late and a dollar short. What are you doing there? I'm doing timber stand exams. I'm an independent contractor for the Forest Service. Really? Yeah. Do you have a question about lumber? Because you must know a lot about trees and the kind of harvesting that's being done. Yes. It seems that the wood you buy these days, i.e. like number two pine. Yep.

Is junk. Junk. Well, compared to wood of yesterday year, which was like naturally grown wood in the forest. Well, what they're doing now, what used to be able to get in terms of lumber was the beautiful, tight-grained old growth. Yeah, slow growth stuff, yeah. Guess what? That stuff takes a long time to grow, and we cut it all down about 80 years ago.

And we can't make enough money if the growth of the country is just so fast that we can't keep up. That's it. Basically, we're cutting them down too fast. They can't grow fast enough. All right, well, anyway. Well, thanks for calling, Jane. It's been nice talking to you. But wait, but wait, I'm having car trouble.

Oh, you are? Yeah, I have a 94-mast-B-3,000. Yeah. I'll be driving around just fine, no problems. And then if it's a hot day, I'll shut the truck off. And if I start it up again and the engine's still hot, as soon as I start out and give it gas, it'll just lurch and buck down the road as if it's getting no gas

and then too much gas and no gas. And, of course, you know, this isn't really very good if I pull out in front of a logging truck or something. Yeah, oh, yeah, that's for sure. And what happens is if I depress the clutch and let it sit for 45 seconds to a minute, it'll be fine, but first it has to go through this routine where it'll rev up to four on the, tachometer as if it's getting too much gas, then back down to one, and then up to four again.

And I'm not doing anything to the gas pedal. I'm just sitting there, and the engine is revving all by itself. Hmm. I love it. What we did was we took it to my mechanic in Benji in Washington, and he plugged it into his computer, and it gave him 70 codes. Oh, 70. You've got troubles.

What is it? Well, 70? 70? 70 codes. Well, here's what I think is going on. Are you feeling fuel? Are you feeling... Gas.

I'm feeling gas. Gas? Are you feeling... I know what I'm feeling. Yeah? I'm feeling nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Nothingness. Oh, so there's nothing wrong. No. I'm feeling vacuum. No, I think... But my brother is not as... I can tell in the studio with him that he's feeling gas. Am I right?

No, no. Actually, I'm not feeling gas. You're not? I'm feeling electric. No. Oh, stop it. Yeah, and here's what I think is going on. Yeah.

I think the problem that you have is not going to be picked up by the scanner. Rather, the scanner is going to pick up all the things that are caused by this problem, all the misreadings. Oh, sure. And what I think is wrong is you have a bad ignition system. Really? Yeah. Because under what's called this hot soak condition. Yeah.

You run the truck, you shut it off, the heat that's under the whole. hood get sucked up by the electronic ignition components. And I would test each one of those individually, and you're going to find out that one of those is causing the problem, because what's happening is the spark is being interrupted because this electronic ignition isn't working correctly. And when that happens, you're getting a very rich mixture being sent to the catalytic converter, and that in turn has an oxygen sensor in it, which is sending a signal back to the computer that says I'm about to burn up because I'm getting too much uncombusted gas. Cut down on the gas.

Because the spark isn't working all the time in burning that gas. And what it says is cut down on the gas and make the idle go up. So it sends a signal to the idle air control, which boost the idle speed so that the catalytic converter doesn't get melted. So it's all this stuff. There's a synergy here that is all being affected by this one bad component. You're a genius. That could be, you know that? Or it could be complete.

Both. No, I mean, I considered bogus, but I have to say I love it. Well, there's a fine line between genius and bo-oh-oh-gous. No, I think this is closer to genius. Yeah, I think so. You haven't given Jane any idea what's wrong with her car, but nonetheless. We're just here to steer the ship. I can't give you the exact piece.

It's not allowed by the Geneva Convention. Right. but I can steer you in the right direction. It is in the ignition system of your truck. Okay. See you, Jane. Thanks a lot, guys. Keep up the good work.

I'm trying. Bye-bye. Bye. Hey, do you know what time it is? Time to sell off those old spark plugs. It's 4th of July bottle rockets? No, no, no, no. It's time to play.

Stop the Chumps! This is the part of the show where we checked back on one of our callers to see if the advice we gave was so good, so-so, are... So sue me! So, who's our like? the player this week. It's Andy from Sitka, Alaska. Andy called us a few months back because his 79 Toyota pickup was crying out desperately for help. I get up in the morning and I turn it on and let it warm up for a few minutes. I'm sitting in here having my coffee and I could hear it making sounds like it's going, uh, mm-hmm. What? You're sitting where? What are you in your igloo? I mean,

you shut this thing off? You can't shut this off? Yeah, so by the time you get into the the car is, the truck, is it still making noises? Yeah, a lot of times it is. It's just, you know, it starts racing and then it's like backing off and then it's sort of like stuttering, like, da-da-da-d-d-d-d-d-d-drub. It's been a long

winter, hi, Andy. It's been a long winter, but a lot of times. Get a little lonely up there. So you don't actually drive this thing, you just started up so you can have some company. We fire up the old songbird today And listen to the engine ride

For a few hours I don't know I don't remember What do we tell him with the road? I don't remember read it But it says on a little piece of paper here Andy gave us another important hint He said it also stalled out when he got to the one and only stop sign in Sitka.

I remember that. So we quickly deduced that the secondary throttle in the two-barbarator was sticking. Oh, yeah. We told him to stick a long screwdriver down there to see if he could unstick that throttle plate. Well, let's see how we did. Andy, are you there? Yes, I am here. I look, before we find out whether the throttle was stuck.

Okay. Yeah. Or our brains were stuck. We need to verify that the answer you're about to give here and stump the chumps has not been influenced by our staff, the staff of National Public Radio, or that all expense paid seven days, six nights trip to Bora Bora that we gave you.

Right. So was it the secondary throttle? I stuck the screwdriver down in there, and it definitely, usually works. Oh, holy cow. Usually, you know. Now it's sort of like lurches, you know. Yeah, I mean, you didn't fix it yet,

because by sticking the screwdriver in there, That was just a test. But now you can actually fix this so it doesn't happen again. I'm not sure Andy wants to fix it. I'm not sure I do. It's got a lot of problems. The frame is cracked in a few places. It's so rusty, you know.

Yeah. And there's so many little things that are adding up that I'm starting to say, gosh, is there another free truck around town? What did you divulge all this to us last time? We would have hung up on you. Well, I would say kiss it goodbye and take it to the vet. Yeah. Tell them it's time.

Are you having a good time up there? Yeah, I'm having a blast. I wish I had some wheels right now that I'm in this little town, but that's all right. Well, yeah, you need a girlfriend with a car. That'll solve all your problems. I need a teacher to drive. Or maybe just a girlfriend. Then you won't need the car.

They've got a couch anyway. That's one or the other. Good luck, and thanks for playing stump the chumps with us. Hey, no problem. Thanks a lot, Robin. Good luck, man. See you later. All right.

If you hear someone on the show that you'd like us to bring back for stumped chumps, you can just email us the suggestion from the Car Talk section of Cars.com. Hey, Tommy, I think we should take a break and meditate on all we have to be thankful for. Yeah, you mean our health, our families, our loyal staff, the fact that we get paid for doing practically nothing. No, for Bugsie. He just derived with a box of donuts. What are we waiting for? Hi, we're back listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Collector Tapper Brothers, and we hear to talk, of course, about cars, car repair,

and the new and final puzzler of this current season. 99, 2000, 2001 season. What is this? I would say this would have to be the 2001 season. Yeah, I think it's Q2. The Q2, Q1, QE2. The QE2. The QE2 season, yeah.

There's a rare disease that's sweeping through your town, okay? And of all the people that are exposed to it, 0.1% of the people actually contract the disease. You with me? Say it again? 0.1% of the people who are exposed. 0.1%. Okay. It's rare.

Very rare. It's rare. Okay. And there are no symptoms until the disease actually occurs. However, there's a diagnostic test that can detect the presence of the disease up to a year before it strikes. So you can actually seek treatment. Okay. Yeah.

So you go to your doctor. And he administers the test. And it comes out positive. Yeah. And you say, oh, I'm done for it. Then you get a little bit encouraged. You say, wait a minute, Doc. Is this test 100% accurate?

And he says, well, not really, but it's 95% accurate. 95% accurate. Right. In other words, 5% of the people who take the test will test positive, but they don't really have it. Yeah. Okay. I like this already. Yeah.

You're going to obfuscate everything here. Go ahead. I love it. So here's the question. What are the chances that you actually have the disease? Now, if you think you know the answer, write it on a postcard or tape it to the bottom of a tournament quality, indoor outdoor ping pong table with waterproof aluminum composition top, four deluxe paddles, an extra durable net. And chip it to. What ever happen to my telephor?

I thought that was in the works. Went in the tank, huh? Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3,500, Harvard Square, Cambridge, Our Fair City. Matt 02238. Or, of course, you can email your answer from the Car Talk section of Cars.com.

If you'd like to call us, the numbers 1888-88-48-Cart Talk. That's 888-227-8-255. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Tim calling from Boston. Tim. Boston Mass. Boston Mass.

How are you? Great. What's going on, man? I've got an Audi-quatro coupe, a 1990, and we're still in love and all that, but the car stalls on me every time I start it when it's cold. Yeah? The instant where you go from starting to running the engine, it just dies, and it just cuts out totally. So I have to play games with the gas pedal. I have to give it a lot of gas, and it'll run.

Once the car warms up a little bit, it idles fine. So what you do is you get it to start and you immediately floor it. Pretty much. He plays with the gas, right? You feather it, as we say. Yeah, I'm playing the clutch and the gas. And how long does it take on the clock for this condition to clear up? The car has to get probably 20 minutes, maybe, 15.

Oh, so for the first 20 minutes, you're feathering the gas pedal and going. Yeah. So if you have to stop, you need three feet, right? You need one for the clutch, one for the brake, and one for the gas panel. Exactly, yeah. At a certain point, I'm like, oh, my God, I can use one foot again. How nice. How long does it take for that to sink in?

You know, it may be cheaper for you to get a third foot than to fix this. This could run into money. Maybe you can use a stick. Well, maybe. 90 Audi, huh? Yes, yeah. It has a V6 engine. V5, whatever, five cylinder.

Five cylinder. Yeah. Oh, those were the days when six was too many. Four was too few. Yeah, yeah, I remember those ads. That was crazy, guys. I think you have a, if you're lucky, a faulty idle air control valve. Wouldn't that be nice?

Now, you could also have a vacuum leak. Mm-hmm. Which is usually 20 minutes is way too long. 20 minutes is a way too... That's exactly what I was going to say. I mean, all the theories can't explain the 20-minute thing. This should be over in five minutes. Okay.

That doesn't happen. That doesn't happen. You might have to go to a shop because I think you could easily have a faulty coolant sensor, which is sending the wrong signal... See, I like that to the computer. But I think what you really have, my intuition... You're feeling vacuum.

You want you? No, I'm not. No, I feel that you have dirty injectors. Really? Yeah. I think you have injectors whose spray pattern is not up to snuff. Okay. I don't like that.

What do you like better? I don't know. I don't like anything at the moment. How about a hamburger? You like a hamburger with a nice slice of onion? Onion. No, I mean, why would it run beautifully when it warms up if it's injectors? Well, he doesn't know it runs beautifully, but it...

At least it runs with one foot. Are you questioning? The witness? Tim, what did you just say? At least it runs with one foot. Yeah, it runs, yeah. But if you're driving around the city and the 20 minutes goes by, when you throw it in neutral and a light, is it running perfectly smoothly?

I... I... The idol's a little lower than maybe I want it to be, but not enough to... complain. How's the acceleration off the line? It's fine. You've given all the wrong answers. Yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah. And as such, we've given you all the wrong answers. I mean, it's only fair. See, I like the cool and temp sensor. Yeah, I'm beginning to like that the best of all. I like it the best of all. Okay. But you're going to have to go to a shop and you're not going to like what

they tell you. Yeah, okay. You know, but either that or you could live with it. Okay. I know he can't. The guy's ready to commit suicide. No, no, he's getting used to it. He's growing a third leg. You know, almost every car I've ever owned has had this very simple. You know, and you do get good at it. It's pretty sad.

But you do get good at it. And what's good about it, no one's going to steal the car. Well, you know, I was bemoaning the fact recently that we don't have enough jalopies on the road. It's true. You know, now in Massachusetts, I'm sure other states, too, we have a stricter inspection code. So not only have we gotten rid of the polluters, and I have no problem with that, but we've at the same time gotten rid of the cars with the bumpers hanging off

and the, you know, the taillight smashed it. And you need a few cars like that to remind you where you came from. Exactly. All where you are. All where you are. Yeah. You can't even get an inspection sticker in Massachusetts anymore if everything isn't perfect. Just the other day.

In fact, yesterday. I was driving down the street. I had the windows open, driving my wife's car. And she said, there's a van in front of me that's spewing out all kinds of evil stuff. And she says, oh, my God, close the windows. That stink is terrible. And I said, I think it's great. Because it was burning oil.

It was, I'm telling you, it was like manor from heaven. Well, Tim. Tim, are you there? I'm here. Oh, I'm here. Cool and temp sense. sir. Okay, we'll give that a try. All right. Thanks very much. See you later. Okay, bye-bye. Bye-bye. Oh, boy. Oh, man. Well, look, it's happened again. You've scorned at one of your precious waking hours listening to Car Talk.

Our esteemed producer is Doug the subway fugitive, Bongo Boy. So my house is Perry Winkle and Fusher. You want to make something out of it? Berman. Our associate producers are Louis Cronin the Barbarian and David Gibraltar Green. Our engineer is the Laughing Tad Tad Masamon Kari. Our senior web blackie is Doug Sheep Boy Mayor. and our technical, spiritual, and menu advisors just back from his picture-perfect performance at the Pocatello pulled pork and poker promenade is John Bugsy Lawler. Our public opinion pollster is Paul Merkey of Merkey Research,

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