The Best One Yet - ☠️ “Chug the Nookie Seltzer” — Liquid Death’s $700M water. Elon's Twitter reversal. Credit Suisse’s Lehman moment.

Episode Date: October 5, 2022

Remember yesterday when we said Elon Musk is always in the news 3 days in a row? Now the Tesla CEO has changed his mind and offered to buy Twitter for his original price of $44B. Liquid Death just hit a $700M valuation for canned water that tastes like an Iron Maiden tattoo (but is it their Macarena Moment?). And Credit Suisse is getting all the attention this week, but for the wrong reason: Investors are getting Lehman Brothers vibes.$TWTR $CS $KOFollow The Best One Yet on Instagram, Twitter, and Tiktok: @tboypodAnd now watch us on YoutubeWant a Shoutout on the pod? Fill out this formGot the Best Fact Yet? We got a form for that tooLearn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is Nick. This is Jack. It's Wednesday, October 5th, and today's pod, out of every pod we've ever done, this pod is the best one yet. It's a T-B-Boy. It's a T-B-L-Y-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-T-O-O-T-O-O-T-O-T-O-T-E, Jack, more like Shock-Tober. Stocks just had their best back-to-back day in two years. Markets kicked off the month with a kick. Let's go Libras. What's our first story, man? What do we got today? After six months of awkwardness, Elon Musk finally blinked.

Elon just offered to. to finally buy Twitter for real. This time, super serious, we're being super serious. He's buying it. No takebacks. No backsies. Thank you, swear. For our second story, Liquid Death just hit a $700 million valuation for their canned water.

Liquid Death, the La Croix killer, has struck again. Our third and final story, it's Credit Suisse, the investment bank. It's in such trouble right now. People are whipping out the L word. Ah, is Credit Suisse, the next L-WReed. Credit Suisse. Credit Suisse. But yet is, before we.

hit that wonderful mix of stories. A fantastic mix. I love this mix today, man. We have to have an emergency tea boy meeting right now. Emergency tea boy meeting because something we lost has been found. In 2020, the unprecedented happened. The never-ending pasta bowl at Olive Garden, it ended. Now that's ironic because the pasta doesn't end. Right, but apparently the deal that the pasta came with, that did end and it can and it did. But get this. Olive Garden just announced the reviving The greatest marketing hack of all time. Olive Garden is bringing back the unlimited bolognazzi. We're calling it the return of the rigatoni.

It's the resuscitation of the ravioli. We're ready for more spaghetti. Now Yeti's during the pandemic, Olive Garden just didn't have enough cooks and didn't have enough servers. No, they didn't. It was a logistics nightmare that not even Chicago could solve. Jack, you can't do unlimited tortellini for takeout. Are you kidding me? And all that fusili?

It was a super spraider. This is like amateur owl. for the Alfredo sauce. So here's what the OG did. They paused during the pandemic that never-ending Pappardelli deal. And that great Pene pause, it felt permanent.

But now, the Olive Garden sees an opportunity. Because there is no better marketing move right now than unlimited anything. Prices are up so high. You do anything for free Fettuccini. Jack, you do anything for that non-stop nioki. You're ready for more spaghetti. Because besties,

if you binge enough Bucatini, you don't need to buy groceries for like a full week. That's not a deal, Nick. That's a lifestyle. Jack, let's hit our three unlimited stories. I'm ready for more spaghetti. Fifteen years before this song, two boys from the Northeast met in the dorm.

They had an idea that caused a cultural 50%. That's a fat tip. Tea Boy City on your at list. If you know, you know, because we're ready to go. We can't wait no more, so just start the show. For our first story, Elon has offered to drop his lawsuit and finally buy Twitter for the original price. Elon's Twitter.

Elon's Twitter. Elon's Twitter is about to become reality. Jack, what did we say yesterday? What did we literally say like 24 hours ago? Can we say Elon News comes in bunches? We said when we were covering Tesla, Elon News comes in bunches and what do we get today? Another bunch. Boom, Yeties.

It is the Elon show, episode 8, return of Elon. Six months ago, reality TV took over part of the finance section. the latest episode of the Elon show, Elon just blinked. It's official. Elon has offered to end his Twitter lawsuit. And Elon has offered to finally buy Twitter. Now, Elon's probably thinking, this lawsuit against Twitter and me trying to bail out of the deal, it's embarrassing, it's expensive, and it's a lost cause. It's not pretty. So he has offered to honor his original offer from six months ago to buy Twitter for how much money, Jack? $44 billion or $5420 a share. eight lifts. Now, if Twitter forgives Elon and accepts this offer, this might be the final episode of the Elon show.

Now, Yetis, when this news broke yesterday, Jack and I had to like scramble, change the stories we were covering. And Jack, what was the very first thing that happened? We noticed Twitter stock exploded. Nick and I actually owned Twitter stock because we wanted skin in the game of this reality TV drama. We were just curious whether Twitter stock went up or went all the way to zero. We just like wanted to be involved. When Bloomberg originally broke the news yesterday, the stock surged so much, it had to be halted twice. Because Twitter stock has been in this awkward in-between situation like since May. It's been stuck in a limbo like a second semester senior.

Because if Elon buys Twitter, like experts insist all along he has to do, the stock would be worth $54.20 a sheet. But if Elon somehow manages to wiggle out of the deal, then Twitter would be left in worse shape than ever. And I don't know. Would the stock fall to 20 bucks in that case? Well, either way, Jack, ipso facto Twitter stock. It's been stuck in the middle. It's been stuck around 40 bucks a share for the past six months in a purgatory between these two possible outcomes. Well, yesterday Twitter stocks searched 23% to $52, which is a very particular price, isn't it, Jack? $52 is very close to the $54.20 that Elon will buy Twitter for. So this news crushes most, but not all of the damn.

that Elon is going to buy Twitter and he's going to pay $44.20 per share. Eight lifts. This is Jack. Nick and I both own one share. We're eager for that $54.20. We just bought one share. So, Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over at Twitter? Twitter never should have been a company at all. Twitter never should have been a company at all. Those actually aren't our words. Jack, whose words are those? Those are the words of Jack Dorsey, co-founder and former CEO of Twitter. Court records showed that Jack Dorsey texted that line to Elon calling it Twitter's original sin. Jack Dorsey thought Twitter was too important to society to be subject to the whims of Wall Street.

He didn't think Twitter should have been a company at all. But funny thing, Twitter's also probably too important to be controlled by one person. If Twitter accepts Elon's offer, Twitter will now be controlled by the world's richest human beings. Who's also distracted by the three other companies he's CEO of. And who's got an ego, the size of a rocket ship. Also, Twitter employees are traumatized, exhausted, and probably resentful now of Elon for all this drama they've put him through. Yeties, maybe Twitter should have never been a public company all along. Should it have been Elon's pet project?

We're about to find out. For our second story, Liquid Death, the canned water company just hit a whopping $700 million valuation, check. It has Nick and me asking, is Liquid Death the future of fluids? Or is it just dancing the macarena? All right, the trivia question for this weekend, Jack, the fastest growing non-alcoholic beverage of all time isn't alive. It's dead. It's liquid death.

It's liquid death. Most water brands sound like spa treatments. Yeah, you got Perrier. You got Desani. They sound like meditations feel. I'll have the 60-minute aquafina with a San Pellegrino peel and an Evian facial, please. If we have time, can I get the Fiji finisher? Liquid death is the exact opposite.

Because liquid death is selling water, but it comes in a 16 ounce tall boy can. Jack, what is their catchphrase? Murder your thirst with liquid death. Now, Jack and I introduced liquid death earlier this year in January. And Jack, what were the financials back in January? We were shocked that a water company had a $500 million valuation, and we're selling $45 million a year if that problem. Okay, Jack, 10 months later, What kind of numbers are we now seeing from liquid debt?

Sales have tripled to 130 million of water sales per year, and the valuation is almost a billion. We're talking about a company that has the number one most watched TikTok channel of any beverage brand ever. It's the number one selling H2O on Amazon right now. Now, yet he's here's what Jack and I found fascinating about this story. Back in January, we said that it was a case study in branding. Today, we'd say that the past.

package is the product. Because when it comes to liquid death, the product is the water, like mountain, H2O. The world is mostly water. You're mostly water. I'm mostly water. That's true. There's one ingredient in this product and it's just three atoms. That's it.

Jack, you add that up? Isn't that like one molecule? It's actually two atoms. It's just H&O, but O is there twice. Oh, now we're splitting hairs. This pod is 100% water. But yet it is the packaging doesn't say water at all. No, it doesn't.

It screams like Red Bull Energy beer. cocktail because on the can of liquid death isn't a pretty polar bear it's actually a flaming human fleshy skull it's like a judas priest t-shirt that was raised by ozi osborne you drink liquid death it tastes like a tattoo it's the only drink that could beat us up in an hour and it's water you're open liquid death and you're looking for the nookie come on the nookie jack we just bought some our refrigerator looks like an album by kiss yeah it is the packaging is the product because no No one sees what you drink. They only see the thing you hold.

So the way Jack and I see it, Liquid Death is actually solving a social problem. It's solving foma. It's solving alcohol fomo. You can be at a concert at a party wherever and not drink alcohol. Because the can doesn't look like alcohol. Nobody's gonna notice. They'll be like what's that freaky double IPA thing in your hand? And you're gonna say it's actually molecules of water.

So Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over at Liquid Death? Is Liquid Death dancing the Macquarie? Ah, the macarena. One maca, two, maca, three macarena. Yeti's, that is not just a song. It's actually the most famous one-hit wonder of all times. Do you know what band did the macarena? Jack didn't know. I didn't know. Nobody knows. You don't know either, Yeties. You don't know either. And that is because the macarena is that band's only song. Well, liquid death rose to a $700 million valuation on just one product. Yeah. Still in sparkling water in a crazy can. But in the last few months, they're trying a new thing. Flavored water. They got four fruity flavors. Jack, I just tried like the mango chainsaw flavor.

And it tastes like mango from LaCroix or mango from Spindrift, but it's good. Already, those flavored waters are 40% of sales. So the loyalists, they're trying it out. But here's what Jack and I are wondering. Will Liquid Death fans keep buying those new flavors? Will Liquid Death's new products still take off in a year? Or will Liquid Death be singing the Macarena because it's a one product wonder? Jack, do you one more.

It's not Liquid Death. is liquid death. Liquidia. Now a word about our sponsor, Robin Hood. You can do just about anything from your phone, but some industries, they've just been slow to move. The finance industry was slow to move

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is almost as easy as downloading it. So you can invest at your pace on your terms by downloading the Robino. Robin Hood app. If you're not investing on Robin Hood yet, to get started, go to robinhood.com slash T-Boy and choose your free stock. That's Robinhood.com slash T-B-O-Y limitation supply. Stocks are offered by Robin Hood Financial LLC, member SIPC. Crypto offered through Robin Hood crypto. All investments involve risk. By the way, this podcast is not owned by or part of Robin Hood, and we are not employees of

Robin Hood. Our third and final story, Credit Suisse, is getting all the attention this week, not too shabby for a financial institution. That's not for a good reason, though, because the big question on Wall Street is Credit Suisse, the next Lehman Brothers? All right, now, Jack, I'm sorry, it's been years. I'm a little rusty on my Swiss, but I believe Credit Suisse translates roughly to Swiss Bank. It does, but they spell Swiss like the Swiss do without a W. Because they do want to be confused with a chocolate company.

And they don't call it Swiss. They call it Swiss. Yeah, well, like the nation of Switzerland, Credit Suisse likes money and it likes fondue. But they may have gone a little too deep on one. And it's not the fun dude. No, it is not. Yet is Jack and I jumped in T-boy style to their latest earnings report. And Jack, what do we do? We control-fed those earnings.

And we found the word exposure mentioned 36 times. Yeah, using it in a sentence as in exposure like our money was exposed. Credit Suisse invested or lent $900 billion to risky companies, risky countries, and risky funds. Well, risky companies, especially right now, are vulnerable to rising interest rates. So, Credit Suisse, it is exposed. It's exposed. It's exposed. Investors think Credit Suisse is about to lose a lot of money in the next couple of years.

So they're selling the stock now to get ahead of that. To sprinkle on some more context, Jack, where is the stock of this 166-year-old bank now compared to the financial crisis? At the depths of the financial crisis, it was about 10 Swiss franc. Right now, it's less than that. than half of that. It's exposed. So, Yetis, we know what you're thinking when you see a bank that's so exposed. Do you want to know how scared investors are? To figure out how scared investors really are, we're looking at one thing. One thing. We're calling it the I'm not buying it ratio. The I'm not

buying it ratio. Not taught in business school, but it is a real thing we believe. According to Credit Suisse's own reports, the difference between what the bank owns and what they owe is 44, billion dollars. Well, that $44 billion is the book value of the company. It's what Credit Suisse thinks all its assets, everything it owns is worth. Wall Street's saying, I'm not buying it. Wall Street's like, hey, Credit Suisse, we think you're worth less. Actually, like, much less, a lot less. One quarter of what you think you're worth. The value of Credit Suisse stock in the stock market, that's what Wall Street thinks this bank is worth. And Jack, what is Wall Street thinks Credit Suisse is worth in the stock market? 11 billion dollars. Yeah, so Credit Suisse thinks it's worth

$44 billion. Wall Street thinks it's worth $11 billion. So Wall Street's telling Credit Suisse, I'm not buying it. That is the I'm not buying it ratio. Investors aren't buying anything Credit Suisse has to say right now. So Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over at Credit Swiss? Credit Suisse is not the next Lehman Brothers. Yeti's Lehman Brothers, the iconic investment bank that kicked off the 2008 financial crisis while Jack and I were in college. Like a bomb, Lehman's explosion caused huge damage to all the other banks 14 years ago. But because of that Lehman problem, the financial system today is changed. Regulations are tighter. Banks are more prepared.

Finance generally is just less risky. So ironically, because of Lehman Brothers falling apart, banks today can avoid being like Lehman. Credit Suisse could extinguish as an institution, but it won't explode onto all the other banks and the whole system like Lehman. That Credit Suisse is struggling right now, but it's not another Lehman Brothers. Jack, can you expose the takeaways for us over there? Twitter never should have been a company. Now we'll see if Twitter should have been Elon's pet project. For a second story, Liquid Death's valuation jumped despite this brutal market.

Will Liquid Death grow beyond one product or will they dance the macarena? Our third and final story is Credit Suisse. It's exposed. Exposed. So the stock is absolutely in the dumps. But it's not the next Lehman Brothers. Now, time for the best fact yet. This one sent in by Sam Goodman from lovely New York City. It's a continuation of our tricky trademarks and crazy copyrights.

Get this yet. He's one musical artist has more known trademarks than any other singer. And that musical artist is T. Swift. Taylor Swift, she has more catchphrases trademarked publicly known than any other celebrity. Over 350 terms from blank space to look what you made me do. Honestly, Jack, if it is a lyric, Taylor protects it. Her team protects it. If you say shake it off three times in a row,

Taylor's going to send you a cease and desist. What word, Jack? Shake it off. Which word? Shacketka. Yeties, you look fantastic today. And remember, if you're ready for more spaghetti, we would love you to drop us a five-star review in today's podcast.

And if you're having a bad day, just shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it. And before we go, happy birthday to Yeti Momo Miyazaki over in Tokyo, Japan. Happy birthday to Flora. Beautiful name. She's listening with her dad and turning one in Grand Junction, Colorado. And Alan Rosenfeld is turning 70 down in Charleston, South Carolina. And happy birthday to Tyler Wahlbaw, Frederick, from the Ohio State University. And a happy birthday to Jeff Bosnay over in Buffalo, Bill's New York.

And happy birthday to Elliot Anderson, turning the lucky number seven in Fullerton, California. Been listening to this pod since kindergarten. Oh, and Jack, Elise Grovance just paid off her $30,000 in college loans. Huge, huge milestone. And Mariana Tenori's got a new job over at Visa. Creditor debit? Credit. And Megan Gillen and Tyler Hallmark, they just had their one-year anniversary down in New York City. And happy three years together to RJ and Anna Uglo,

in San Diego. And to anyone else who's celebrating something today, make it a tea boy. Celebrate the wins. Now a word about our sponsor, Robin Hood. Jack, rule number one about a kitchen renovation. Tell your friends about your kitchen renovation. We know the cabinets are expensive. Well, in the pandemic, a lot of companies renovated their businesses focusing on apps and

digital. Robin Hood didn't have to. It was built digital from the start. Robin Hood's mobile first and intuitive design makes investing a little easier for every stage of your investing journey. Whether you want to trade options, ETFs, or stocks through Robin Hood Financial, or buy some Bitcoin on Robin Hood Crypto,

you can do all that right on the Robin Hood app. If you're not investing on Robin Hood yet, to get started, go to robin hood.com slash T-Boy and choose your free stock. That's Robinhood.com slash TBOI. Limitations apply. Robin Hood Financial LLC, member SIPC, all investments involve risk. By the way, this podcast is not owned by or part of Robin Hood, and we are not employees of Robin Hood.

Well, you didn't get me to do it three times, dude. I only did it twice. You said it three times. Oh, did I? I think I only said it twice. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off.