The Best One Yet - 🍦 “Fo-Sho” — 16 Handles’ return. Paramount’s hostile takeover. Sephora’s football strategy. +Bieber’s iPhone diss.

Starting point is 00:00:00 This is Nick. This is Jack. It's Tuesday, Teen Boy, Tuesday, December 9th. And today's pod is the best one yet. This is a T-boy. The top three pop business news stories you need to know today. I mean, Jack, the mix is so good. What do you say? We get right to it today, man. For our first story, the Empire Strikes Back. Paramount has up the ante to acquire Warner Brothers. Yesterday we told you Netflix was buying Warner Brothers, but today Paramount is attempting a hostile takeover. For our second story. Sephora's makeup sales are at an all-time high right now, thanks to the same strategy that works in football. And it's the only strategy that works if you're trying to sell something. And our third and final story, Pinkberry, T-CB-Y, 16 handles.

Starting point is 00:00:45 Delicious. Nick, you notice more Froyo chains popping up around you? I kind of want to lick the podcast right now. Oh, boy. We'll explain why frozen yogurt is the hottest food of this winter, and it's not just nostalgia. Don't make a lick sound right now. We're going with so close.

Starting point is 00:01:00 But yet, he's, before we hit that wonderful mix of stories. Fantastic mix of stories. Love the mix of stories for Teaboy Tuesday, Jack. They've got some awkward times going on over at Apple. Yeah, you see, Apple's stock is at an all-time high, but everybody is leaving. Last week, Apple's chief lawyer announced they're retiring. And their chief designer said he's ditching for meta. And Apple's AI business is still MIA.

Starting point is 00:01:21 But the worst business story for Apple of the year so far is Justin Bieber? The Canadian singer-songwriter, Justin Bieber, just dropped a disc track on Apple. All right, Jack, pause the pot. You got to bring on some context for us, please. Over the weekend, Bieber complained on social media of his most hated iPhone feature, that little dictation button. Ah, the dictation button. In I message, why is the talk-to-text button right next to the send button?

Starting point is 00:01:48 No, it's on top of the send button. If you first push talk-to-text, it becomes the send button. And so apparently every time Bieber goes to send a text message, he accidentally records himself in a very unscripted moment. So, as he posted on Instagram and X yesterday, Jack, if I hit this dictation button after sending a text and it beeps and stops my music, one more time, I'm going to find everyone at Apple and put them in a rear naked chokehold. Translation, if Apple doesn't issue a software fix, Bieber is going to start wrestling them. It sounds like he's going to spank them. I don't know what a naked chokehold is, Jack. Me either. But why did Apple stock

Starting point is 00:02:23 fall 1% yesterday, Nick? Well, Jack, blame it on the Bieber Bash. We have never seen Bieber more bitter, baby. So to quote Bieber himself, hey Steve Jobs, where are you now that I need you? Jack, it reminds me of that Bieber song, Beauty and an Apple beat. He was like, baby, baby, baby, oh, baby, baby, baby, oh. Baby, baby, baby, oh. I thought you'd always fix your universe. Jack, let's in our three stories. Fifteen years before this song, two boys from the Northeast met in the dorm. They had an idea to cause a cultural storm. It's the best one yet, but the best is a norm. That's it. I don't even think they need to practice. 50% that's a fat tip.

Starting point is 00:03:01 Tea Boy City on your at list. If you know you know because we're ready to go. We can't wait no more. So just start the show. Start the show. First, a quick word from our sponsor. For our first story, in a dramatic escalation to yesterday's Netflix story, Paramount is now attempting a hostile takeover of the Warner Brothers.

Starting point is 00:03:34 The Empire Strikes Back, Nick. And that Empire is funded. by Trump's closest friends. Yeties, this is page six news meets the Wall Street Journal. Just yesterday morning, the bombshow report was that Netflix was eating Hollywood. But immediately, after Netflix announced their acquiring Warner Brothers on Friday, Paramount's investment makers and lawyers must have pulled three straight all-nighters. Because on Monday morning, Paramount announced a $108 billion hostile takeover attempt of Hollywood.

Starting point is 00:04:08 Netflix offered $27,000. and $75 per share to acquire Warner Brothers. But now Paramount is offering $30 per share to buy the same company. But Nick, you used the word hostile earlier, and we want to point out, hostile is a real finance term. Yeah, Jack, why don't we sprinkle them some context over there, please? Paramount's offer bypasses Warner Brothers Board of Directors, which voted on Friday to sell the company to Netflix.

Starting point is 00:04:33 Instead, Paramount is aggressively going directly to Warner Brothers shareholders to vote on which deal is better. And that is the definition of a hostile takeover. The result is an epic vote for shareholders of Warner Brothers. By January 8th, they have to decide, do we want to sell to Netflix or do we want to sell to Paramount? Yes, which one are you going to give you a rose to? Now, Paramount's pitch is not only are we offering more money than Netflix, but we're also more likely to be approved by regulators. But that all up, and it feels like we are in the middle of Warner Brothers Bachelorette. So two is already meatier and spicier than episode one, Jack.

Starting point is 00:05:12 But yet he's, here's what we find most fascinating about this story. Why would Paramount get approved by regulators? Why, Jack? Because all of the buyers have done sleepovers at Mara Lago. Yeah, let's kick it off with our buddy Larry Ellison. Second richest man in the world. He actually bought Paramount for his son as a gift. Must be nice.

Starting point is 00:05:29 And the Ellisons have been saying for months that they're the only ones President Trump would allow to buy Warner Brothers Discovery. And interestingly, it's not just because Ellison is a Trump's super donor, right, Jack? It's also because he's tapping President Trump's inner circle to help pay for this huge deal. All right, let's look at the tab. Three Trump-Allied sovereign wealth funds

Starting point is 00:05:50 from the Middle East are going to write checks because they are part of the Paramount Ownership Group. Saudi Arabia, Abu Dhabi and Qatar, President Trump has visited each of his allied countries this summer and they're all going to be buying Paramount. Plus, Jack, you've got affinity partners, the private equity firm run by... Jared Kushner.

Starting point is 00:06:08 the president's son-in-law. There you go. He's funding Paramount too. Add it all up, and that's why they think regulators will be on board. So how can Paramount worth $15 billion afford to outspend Netflix, which is worth $400 billion? Well, by opening up a split-wise account that includes everyone the president sent Christmas cards to. Or did he open an Evite account? It may have been a Venmo account. Either way, though, Jack, if you know you know, so Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over at Warner Bros? Whoever wins, David Zaslov wins, the failed CEO who is now winning. Yet he's back in April, David Zaslov's strategy as the CEO of Warner Brothers Discovery had utterly failed.

Starting point is 00:06:49 The guy who merged Warner Brothers with Discovery and changed HBO Max to Max decided it was time to unmerge Warner Brothers from Discovery and rename Max to HBO Max. Yeah, that was back when Warner Brothers Discovery stock was just $8 a share. It was low. But then the Ellison family decided to acquire Paramount. And then the Ellison's got interested in acquiring Warner Brothers, too. So they offered Warner Brothers $19 a share in September. And then $22 a share after that. And then $24 a share after that. David Zazlov said no to all three of those Paramount offers.

Starting point is 00:07:23 And that's when he got $27.27 from Netflix. And now that has driven the Ellison's crazy, so they're offering $30 a share in this hostile takeover. $30 bucks a share for something that six months ago cost $8 a share. Best is at this price, David Zasloff is going to become a billionaire no matter what, whether he sells to Netflix or sells to Paramount. Warner Brothers Discovery was much more valuable as a pawn in the streaming wars than as a standalone media company.

Starting point is 00:07:50 That's what Zaz has discovered in the last six months. And now whoever wins, the real winner is David Zasloff, CEO of Warner Bros. For our second story, Sephora, the biggest cosmetic, chain in the West is celebrating sales that are all-time highing. Because Sephora knows that beauty, like football, is a game of inches. That's right. We're connecting lip liner to John Madden. You should have said linebackers. I should have said linebackers, Jack. Besties, it is the Disney World of Moistrizers, the Olympics of Impulse Bies. You walk in for a $12 lip bomb.

Starting point is 00:08:28 You walk out with a new 12-step beauty identity. Sephora, they were bought by Louis Vuitton back in 1997. in a deal that at the time was called crazy. But not today, because Sephora is a 56-year-old company. It's middle-aged. True. But its financials must have anti-aging cream. We say that because Sephora's numbers have never looked better, baby.

Starting point is 00:08:50 Jack, what are we seeing? 18.5 billion dollars of revenue last year is more than Dick's sporting goods, half as much as best buy. But this beauty chain with the black and white bags is more profitable than both of those big box stores. And last week, in the Louis Vuitton earnings call, the CEO joked that he can't share the all-time Sephora profits because you wouldn't believe how big they are. Jack, did you see that the Sephora store in Paris gets more visitors than the Eiffel Tower in Paris? Is that true?

Starting point is 00:09:17 It's true. More people are lined enough to buy Mac lipliner than see the seventh wonder of the world. It is possible. I know it's possible. But yet, this is what Jack and I find fascinating. Sephora has faced more competition than ever before, and yet, Sephora is thriving more than ever before. Alta Beauty is gaining market share. started selling subscription makeup online. Jack, TikTok shop? Beauty influencers are selling serums

Starting point is 00:09:41 directly through Get Ready With Me videos. And yet, Sephora's 3,400 global stores are in their all-time high era, and Nick and I found a few reasons why. Well, the first, Jack, is exclusivity. Of the 300 upscale beauty brands that Sephora sells, half you can only buy at Sephora. Yeah, we noticed that Sephora basically signs makeup brands like Team Signs Athletes. If you want the new road blush, you can only buy it at Sephora. And the second reason for the Sephora surge is economic. We've told you before about the lipstick index.

Starting point is 00:10:14 If you feel bad about the economy, you'll still buy a lipstick as a little treat for yourself. And if you're feeling good about the economy, you'll also still buy a lipstick. You'll just buy a more expensive lipstick. So no matter the economic situation, somebody splurging on Glossier at Sephora. Or maybe Christian Dior, if they're feeling good about the economy.

Starting point is 00:10:32 And the third reason Sapphora's in its all-time high era is our takeaway. Jack, since you have a 42-step skincare routine and we're once a backup D3 college high school quarterback, I feel like this SIFOTA takeaway was made for you. Are you ready for this? Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over at Sifora? In the competition of retail, you have to fight for every inch. Yet he's last month, Jack and I got to interview the CEO of Lyft, David Risher, who has this great rule from his days of Amazon.

Starting point is 00:11:02 Here it is. Every page must sell. The idea is that every part of the customer experience must add value. Every moment is a selling opportunity. Well, that's how Sephora thinks about their stores. As their CMO put it, every square inch must be productive. Every inch is like a little jewel. You'll notice it if you go there.

Starting point is 00:11:22 Teens linger by the Tom Ford fragrances that have naughty names. And while the mini makeup section is strategically placed in the checkout line where you're going to wait for five minutes. The giant table over there, it's for everything that's training on TikTok right now. There is no waste space, no shelf for things that don't sell. There is no generic aisle 6 at Sephora. Like football, retail is a relentless game of inches. And Sephora has become a Hall of Famer. Now a quick word from our sponsor. For our third and final story, Frozen Yogurt, it's having a major revival led by the legendary DIY Froyo chain 16 handles.

Starting point is 00:12:02 But the reason Froyo went away in the first place is not the reason. you think. Oh, Yeti's. Every generation has its soft-serve brand that it loves. Boomers had Mr. Softie and Carvel. Gen X had tasty delight in Coldstone creamery, and Millennials had Pinkberry and 16 handles. Pro tip, you're going to want to put the mochi on those. If you don't put the mochi on, it's not really a soft serve as a jack. When we millennials had just graduated from college, it was the Obama-era Froyo Frenzy in New York City. DIY serve-yourself chains with all-you-can-eat toppings, that was the trend. And how do you pay for it, Jack? It was literally a soft-served frozen yogurt buffet, and you built your own cone and topped it with whatever you wanted. You pay what's your way.

Starting point is 00:12:47 Like the 16 handles located on 2nd Avenue in the East Village, we used to go to all the time, right, Jack? Peanut butter and chocolate swirl, topped with Oreo crumbles and gummy bears, and of course, aside of the Vichy soundtrack. I would go three times a week. I went so often alone that I once went with Molly Jack, and they knew me by name. And she'd, Did know how they knew me by name. I think she put two and two together. Kamara, I miss seeing you every day. But what was once a growing industry has lost a third of its business in the last eight years. Froyo sales are down 28% since 2017, according to the New York Times. And the number of stores across America are down by 35% in that period. A couple key reasons for this,

Starting point is 00:13:27 right, Jack? First, Froyo fits into the three Fs of fads that we've discovered, fashion, fitness, and food. Something's cool today, but it's cringe tomorrow. But then the pandemic killed self-served frozen yogurt because it was literally a health hazard. Shocker. When Jack clams down on that peanut butter chocolate swirl handle, yeah, it's a super spreader event. I might have put my mouth directly underneath it before. I know you want to say lick on the pod there, Jack. But besties, here we are years after the pandemic.

Starting point is 00:13:56 And there are signs of life in that poorly built froyo swirl that just toppled over in your dish. Yeah, bro tip. Even if you want a cone, get a dish. because you're not building that thing right. Always get the dish. We jumped in Tea Boy Style, and the New York Times just did a deep dive on 16 handles,

Starting point is 00:14:11 the East Coast chain almost in bankruptcy. And it's a wild story about a young man who has saved the brand 16 handles and the industry of self-serve frozen yogurt. This is wild. His name is Noah CUNY Lichteny Lichtenen, and he made a bet

Starting point is 00:14:24 that the problem wasn't with Froyo demand, it was with Froyo Supply. So he took out a $500,000 loan from the U.S. Small Business Administration when he was only, only 23 years old. And Jack, he didn't just pray for millennial nostalgia. He reformatted the stores to adapt to 2020 trends. Blike. Protein maxing. Protein maxing. What do you do with that? He introduced a high protein chocolate peanut butter banana flavor that has more grams of way than a

Starting point is 00:14:51 burger. Okay, what about date night at the new 16 handles? He turns the lights down and the music up after 8 o'clock and pulls out some high top tables. Boom. It's a zero-proof nightlife option for people not interested in alcohol. Now, to scale this remixed concept, he started granting franchises to other young, ambitious believers, even students. Noah sold a 16-handles franchise to an MBA student at Columbia

Starting point is 00:15:15 to open a location on the Upper West Side that's doing very well. This business school student is literally running a business, add it all up, besties, and this man has sparked a Froyo Renaissance. If you Google Frozen Yogurt right now, you'll see dozens of stores are opening up across the country,

Starting point is 00:15:31 probably near you. By the way, 16 handles already profitable with plants to add 200 more stores. We're going to have to change the name to 200 handles. So, Jack, what's the tag away for our buddies? Why is it called 16 handles? Are there 16 flavors of Froyo? It's a story for another pod, Jack. So Jack wants to take away for our buddies in the Froyo Revival.

Starting point is 00:15:51 Why did Frozen Yoger ever fall? Well, it was a victim of its own success. Yeties, today, Froyoprenores are betting this isn't a fat. They're betting that this is a multi-generational trend. would argue the reason 16 handles got into trouble was its business model. Froyo was so successful that it got simply too big. This is fascinating, but it turns out self-served machines are not expensive. And since customers can pour and build their own Froyo bowls, these stores require fewer employees, and they can handle higher traffic. It's like a buffet. It has low capital needs,

Starting point is 00:16:24 low labor costs that attracted people to open up new Froyo locations. Too many locations, In fact, and kind of like craft breweries, the industry was just oversaturated with supply. That's why the industry fell apart. It wasn't a demand deficit. It was a supply surplus. So, besties, add it all up and this latest Froyo Wave, or Ice Age, if you will.

Starting point is 00:16:47 And we will, Jack, should learn from the last one. Don't let Froyo fail because of its own success. Jack could you whip up the takeaways for us for Teboy Tuesday? Paramount is going directly to Warner Bros. shareholders, telling them to accept Paramount's offer, not Netflix's. It's the latest episode of Warner Brothers Bachelorette. Whoever buys Warner Brothers, the real winner, though, is David Zasloff, who's going to become a billionaire.

Starting point is 00:17:13 For our second story, Sephora faces intense, physical, and online competition and beauty, but it's all-time highing anyway. Because retail is a relentless game of inches, and Sephora sells lipstick like a linebacker. And our third and final story, the hot treat of this winter is frozen yogurt bowls, self-serve, and priced by the past.

Starting point is 00:17:31 Ah, the biggest risk to Froyo is an ice cream. It's that the business model is just too darn good. But yeties, this pod's not over yet. Here's what else you need to know today. First, according to some PFWTMs, people familiar with the matter, SpaceX is planning to IPO next year at a $1 trillion valuation. If it does, Elon Musk's space business will have the biggest IPO valuation of any company. But in the meantime, SpaceX is still what Jack and I call a sumo stock. And what does that stand for? Jack. If you want to invest, you're straight up missing out until the IPO. S-U-M-O. And second, for the first time ever, for any country ever, China's trade surplus just passed $1 trillion and 2025 isn't even over yet. What's that mean? It means China exported $1 trillion more to foreign countries than it imported from foreign countries. That's actually the biggest trade difference of any country, any time in the history of the world. It's also a sign that with

Starting point is 00:18:29 Americans buying less Chinese made goods, China has found other buyers all over the world. And finally, Sweet Green just became the first fast casual chain with the value meal. Sweet Green stock is down 80% this year. Consumers are cutting back on $20 salads and double-digit lattes. But now, Sweet Green is offering a $10 bowl of veggies their lowest price yet by far. The $10 harvest bowl. Sweet Greens, questionable profits. Your move, Chipotle, your move. Now time for the best fact yet, this one on answer to yesterday's Tea Boy trivia question. We asked you what color is a subliminal message trying to touch your hunger buttons? Like, blue is a subliminal message about safety.

Starting point is 00:19:13 That's why banks have blue logos. But what color makes you hungry? Well, a lot of folks said yellow in the comment section. Even more people said orange jack. Because Burger King? Okay, but Jack doesn't even know the answer to this, but you know what the answer is, man? Uh, brown? It's red. It's red. Like, if you think about all the fast food chains now, think about this, right?

Starting point is 00:19:33 Like McDonald's, KFC, Burger King, Wendy's, In-N-Out, Panda Express, Chipotle, Pizza, Jack, Red Lobster. It's called Red Lobster, man. True, but Red Lobster went bankrupt, right? But they're back, baby. Jack, look at your food delivery apps, DoorDash, Rezi, open table. You're right. I'm salivating just thinking about it. Dang. Coca-Cola. Dude, there's no blue food delivery apps. Red Baron pizza.

Starting point is 00:20:05 Kellogg's Frosted Flakes. Okay, we could go on, but we got to pause the pod. Yetis, you look fantastic. The Tea Boy Tuesday. And just a thank you to all of you have already started buying your tickets to our live shows for next year. We got the links in the episode description

Starting point is 00:20:18 if you want to see us. And it means the world that you do. So join us on the T-Boy IPO tour for 2026. We can't wait to see you there. And Jack and I will see them all. And before we go, Congrats on surviving to Yeti Neil DeVay from his bachelor party in Tulum this past weekend. He's all in one piece and all he did was a whole lot of yoga.

Starting point is 00:20:41 I was going to say, isn't Toulom where you go for like yoga cleanses and like... It's all he did there, Jack. That's all he did there. And congratulations to Courtney and Lucas Weatherby, who are getting married after eight years. They met at Cal Poly in beautiful San Luis Obispo. SLO, congratulations guys. And Danny Regalado has got the best birthday yet. Just moved to San Francisco.

Starting point is 00:21:01 Danny, you're going to have a little. blast. And happy birthday to Selvin Dubois in Ciadad de Guatemala, Guatemala. And Addy Gilbert is a legendary Yeti who made us a profit puffy graphic, literally the design of a profit puppy and sent it to us. Addy, thank you so much for your art. Addy, just send us over the royalty-free license in perpetuity. And then we'll talk business. We're putting it up in the DeBois Studio. This is Jack. I own stock of Disney and Netflix, and Nick and I both own stock in Apple and Chipotle.

The Best One Yet - 🍦 “Fo-Sho” — 16 Handles’ return. Paramount’s hostile takeover. Sephora’s football strategy. +Bieber’s iPhone diss.

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