The Best One Yet - 🏓 “Fruition-izing” — Marty Supreme’s growth hack. Steve Jobs’ Apple Card ghost. Free Zyn at Work. +5am wakeups

Starting point is 00:00:00 This is Nick. This is Jack. It's Wednesday, Savi-Savit. January 14th. And today's pod is the best one yet. This is a T-Boy. The top three pop business news stories you need to know today. But first, happy quarterly earnings season to all those who celebrate. That's right. Our first story is an earnings report. So light your lanterns in honor of the financial holiday. Yeah, I think there are a few of those. Besties, you're looking fantastic. Jack, three stories for today's show. What have we got on the pod? For our first story, J.P. Morgan just announced earnings and that they're taking over the Apple card.

Starting point is 00:00:35 But Jack and I will tell you why the Apple card is actually doomed. It's the curse of Steve Jobs. For our second story, Timothy Chamalais tricked the internet with a fake leaked Zoom call. You say Chamalais every time. It's Salame. Oh, shoot, did I screw that up again? Salome! But Timothy Salome sparked a $70 million box office win for Marty Supreme, thanks to that Zoom call. our third and final story. Forget free coffee. Silicon Valley offices are now offering free nicotine pouches. From kombucha to nicotine, free work perks actually reflect our entire society.

Starting point is 00:01:11 But yeties, before we hit that wonderful mix of stories. Oh, what a mix. No one else is doing that mix. Are you a lark, a bear, or an owl? Because besties, those are the spirit animals of sleep. Or as scientists call them chronotypes. The three sleep profiles of all people. The morning lark, night owl or the snoozing bear. According to sleep doctor Michael Brees, roughly 20% of us are night owls. You know who you are. You're watching TikTok still 2 a.m. 20% of us are also morning larks. You finish five cups of coffee by 5 a.m., kind of like Jack and I. And the rest of us, 60% your bears. Basically normal people, not up super early, not up super late, just right. Now, you won't see a lark smack the snooze button in the morning. And Jack, you won't see

Starting point is 00:01:59 and owl hit the hay after dinner. Which is all to say, you can't biohack your biological clock. Unless you're one of the 20% of us larks, your 5 a.m. Barry's boot camp, that could actually be counterproductive. So even if your New Year's resolution is to rise before the sun does this year, you may want to double-check your chronotype species, yetis. 5am and you, you just might not yell, and that's okay. Yeties, add it all up, and you got to remember what Snoop Dog taught us all those years ago.

Starting point is 00:02:26 Mo melatonin. Mo money. If you know, you know, you know. Let's do our three stars. 15 years before this song, two boys from the Northeast met in the dorm. They had an idea that caused a cultural storm. It's the best one yet, but the best is a norm.

Starting point is 00:02:39 Jack Nick, that's it. I don't even think they need to practice. 50% that's a fat tip. Tea Boy City on your at list. If you know, you know, because we're ready to go. We can't wait no more, so just start the show. First, a quick word from our sponsor. For our first story, J.P.

Starting point is 00:03:11 Morgan Chase had a crazy day kicking off the earning season for 2026. And CEO Jamie Diamond explained why Trump's Fed takeover would backfire and also how Steve Jobs ruined the Apple card. Yet is now that Warren Buffett has retired. Jamie Diamond is the silver back of Wall Street, isn't he, Jack? How old is he? Like 70? Looks 30, Jack. But yesterday, J.P. Morgan reported earnings $57 billion in profit for 2025, not too shabby. This is the second year in a row that America's big, biggest investment bank made more than $1 billion of profits every week. Jamie Diamond carries a chiching button in his pocket. Yes, he does, but there was one surprise weak spot in JPM's earnings report. A $2.2 billion loss related to the bank's takeover of the

Starting point is 00:03:59 Apple card. I'm sorry, Jack, pause the pod. J.P. Morgan and Apple Card, please sprinkle on more context. Goldman Sachs launched the Apple card in 2019 with Apple and has hated pretty much every minute of it ever since. Why? Well, we think it's because of the spirit of Steve Jobs. Back in 1997, Steve Jobs launched Apple's famous catchphrase, Think Different. So in 2019, Apple insisted its very first credit card, think different. Apple Card was the first credit card with a titanium physique. It was the first one with pretty much no fees whatsoever.

Starting point is 00:04:32 And Apple demanded it have genius bar-level customer service. Okay, but here's the problem yet. Credit cards as a business model, they hate being. For example, Apple insisted that for each user, credit card statements arrive on the first of the month, because that just makes sense. It does make sense, Jack, but if every credit card statement arrives on the first day of the month, then all the customer service requests also come in on the first day of the month. That's why credit card companies stagger your statement dates randomly across all the days of the month. They don't want to overload their customer service department. But in this case, Goldman had to hire an entire customer service department to handle your complaint about some erroneous $4 Starbucks.

Starting point is 00:05:11 charge, and it all happened on the first day of the month. Because Apple, channeling Steve Jobs, refused to stagger it like all the other card card companies. Think different. That's what they demanded of Goldman Sachs. But it's in that situation ship that Goldman's rival, J.P. Morgan, saw an opportunity. Basically, J.P. Morgan said, you know what? We could be Apple's rebound dude on the credit card. You see, J.P. Morgan is three times bigger than Goldman Sachs. And unlike J.P. Morgan, Goldman never really had a consumer business. But Jack, J.P. Morgan has a huge customer service department. They're handling 5,000 branches and 30 different credit cards right now.

Starting point is 00:05:49 Sapphire this, sapphire, that. So J.P. Morgan made it Instagram official last week. They announced they're taking the Apple card from Goldman Sachs. And they're already ready for the surge and complaints about random Starbucks charges that happen on the first day of every month with the Apple card. Basically, J.P. Morgan's so big they can handle any surge in customer service complaints. In the long term, J.P. Morgan plans to make money on those Apple card balances through interest and swipe fees. But in the short term, they had to account for the probability that some cards are going to default and lose money, hence the $2 billion charge.

Starting point is 00:06:21 Add it all up and Steve Jobs would have probably been pumped about this, but would have spanked us if we said that publicly. Yeah, he's a real hard ass in the office, isn't he? But besties, while J.P. Morgan's Apple card hookup fascinated us. The bigger news yesterday was really J.P. Pal. So Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over J.P. Morgan? When Polly Sye tries to take over econ, the results are disastrous. Yeti's the big story yesterday. It was the president asking the Justice Department to investigate the chair of our Federal Reserve, Jerry Powell. Well, everyone wanted to know, what did Jamie Diamond think, the CEO of J.P. Morgan?

Starting point is 00:06:58 And yesterday, he came out in support of Jerome Powell. Okay, but more importantly, Jamie Diamond said that political pressure to cut interest rates typically backfires in reality, just look at the country of Turkey. The authoritarian president of Turkey interfered with Turkey's central bank back in 2021. He forced interest rate cuts, even though economics required the opposite. The result, inflation in Turkey quadrupled from a brutal 20% in 2021 to an absolutely crippling 80% just a year later. 80% inflation. That's the kind of thing that destroys an entire country.

Starting point is 00:07:34 Because when a central bank loses credibility, confidence plummet and inflation rises. Or as Jamie Diamond more diplomatically put it yesterday, it will raise inflation expectations and probably increase interest rates over the long term. So besties, Apple card aside, J.P. Morgan's CEO, and basically all of finance agree, let Fed chair Jerry Powell Cook, don't put him in jail. Because when Polly Sye takes over econ, historically, it's disastrous. For our second story, the big winner of the Golden Globes was Timothy Shalome for the movie Marty Supreme. But Marty Supreme's buzz began with a viral fake Zoom meeting that got 10 million views. Yeties, last week we talked to about the great hockey movies of all time bringing in the big dough at the box office. Yeah, Mighty Ducks, one, two, three, happy Gilmore.

Starting point is 00:08:26 It was a pretty good rundown. But the more Nick and I think about it, ping pong is the real hit machine in the real hit machine in the box office. Jack, whip out the whiteboard. We got balls of fury. Top spin, Forest Gump, all ping pong movies. Tamble tennis also had a huge role in the movie, Beer Fest. Ping pong and ding dang. And it also happens to be the core theme of the Golden Globe winning movie Marty Supreme. Marty Supreme, a sports comedy drama thriller based roughly on a true story. In 1950s, New York kid caught up in crime, the mafia, and an underground ping pong tournament. Also, he hooks up with Gwyneth Poutherald.

Starting point is 00:09:02 Spoiler. And at $70 million, it's A-24's biggest production budget ever. And Marty Supreme just hit $70 million at the box office on Sunday. So it's broken even. This is the highest grossing film ever from the famous indie studio, A-24. Plus, Chalameh just won Best Actor at the Golden Globes, and now there's a 74% chance of him winning the Oscar, too. According to Polly Market. But bestie's the real story here. What we truly found fascinating is how Marty Supreme went viral in the first place. It went viral with a Zoom call.

Starting point is 00:09:33 Get this. The A24 Studios team created a viral spectacle with an 18-minute fake-leaked Zoom meeting. Jack, please explain. Back in November, A-24 wanted to promote Marty Supreme. And they did it by publishing on YouTube a video of an unedited, very raw Zoom meeting. We've seen it a few times now. You've got the nine squares that we've all had before, and it starts with intros just like every other corporate Zoom meeting. The awkward pleasantries after the intros. How's the weather out there?

Starting point is 00:10:03 And then a little totally uncorporate-looking bald dude in a yellow tank top appears in the corner. It's Timothy Shalameh. It's Timmy Shalameh. Now here's 45 seconds of the video. It's quite entertaining. You have to experience it to understand what we're talking about. Push and play. Well, Timothy, we're excited to share our ideas with you.

Starting point is 00:10:22 I know you sent me an email. You said you had some of yours as well. Do you want us to go first or you go, whichever works? Why don't I go first? Yeah, go for it. man like I said thank you all for jumping on very humbling for me yeah I just wanted to like make sure that we're all like I said a line because I'm so excited like like when I wake up every morning I think culmination integration like all of us in fruition fruitionizing which is not a word

Starting point is 00:10:49 obviously but fruitionizing the release of this movie like really making sure it comes out in a great way I'm thinking big you know what I mean this has got to be like one of the most important things that happens on planet Earth this year. Our boy Timmy goes on to offer some insane marketing ideas to this marketing team. Everything needs to be orange. Paint the statue of Liberty Orange. Eiffel Tower, pyramid. Everything orange.

Starting point is 00:11:15 Orange is his obsession because that's the key color of the movie, and it's the color of professional ping pong balls. Timothy then goes on to skewer the whole marketing team for interrupting him, and then he shows off a design for his giant orange blimp. All crazy ideas, all bad ideas. But all these marketing professionals keep saying, yeah, Timmy, yeah, because he's the talent and you don't say no to the talent. The theme here, besties, the reason this resonated with 10 million people, this was a fake Zoom meeting that felt like the real Zoom meetings we've all been in before. To promote the movie, they made fun of promoting movies and got 10 million views.

Starting point is 00:11:48 And that and a ton of buzz is a financial trick shot. So Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over Marty Supreme? This was a master class of breaking the fourth wall. Yetis, there's a concept in acting about an imaginary fourth wall between the actors and the audience that you do not break. The performer stays in character. Don't break the fourth wall. It'll be awkward and potentially kill the magic. That's the key.

Starting point is 00:12:11 Breaking the fourth wall is so rare, so unexpected, it's also therefore memorable. And that's what this Shalamee's Zoom meeting did. He took a risk with it and it paid off. The stunt of a fake, real Timmy Shalamee got millions of people to buy tickets for an indie film about Pins. Pong. And there's a business insight here. Yes, there is. Brands can break the fourth wall with consumers too. You see, transparency, even if it's embellished and marketed up a bit. And in this case, staged, exactly that is still refreshing. It's a concept from showbiz that works in real biz. Break the fourth wall. Now a quick word from our sponsor.

Starting point is 00:12:51 For our third and final story, this is wild. Startups and tech firms are given workers zin pouches for free. The new work purpose. productivity hack in Silicon Valley and Wall Street. Free nicotine in the office. But yet, he's, in order for us to tell this story, let's set the scene. Sweet green salads, mindfulness Mondays, an entire wardrobe dedicated to Pilates. It's with that wellness girly backdrop that this story is so surprising to us. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:13:21 The new work perk in the tech industry is nicotine. Tech workers and finance folk are packing a half inch pouch and nicotine under the lip walking around the office. Your body isn't a temple. Your body is a productivity machine. Now, we covered the popularity of the Zin business nicotine pouches in a story last year. They have the same flavors as spindrift, mango, espresso, mint, but we didn't realize nicotine pouches were safe for work. And venture capital wants in. Lucy and Sesh, two nicotine pouch startups have made their own vending machines to distribute the nicotine pouches.

Starting point is 00:13:53 And Palantir, a $500 billion AI company bought two of those vending machines. and plopped them into their offices. We repeat, right next to the coffee station over at Palatiers' DC office is a vending machine with free Zinn. Let that sink in. Literally. This is part of a surge in the nicotine industry that you can see in the stock market. True Jack.

Starting point is 00:14:16 Philip Morris acquired Zinn for $16 billion three years ago. And now Philip Morris's stock is up 40% in the last year. It is near an all-time high. That's right. Tobacco legend Philip Morris is living its best life. Now, Besties, the reason why Wall Street analysts and Silicon Valley PMs are popping nicotine these days, they say it's for productivity. Because nicotine is a stimulant.

Starting point is 00:14:38 It increases alertness, focus, and heart rate. It's not that different than coffee, I guess. Also, we should point out, as the Wall Street Journal pointed out, this is the least medically harmful nicotine. No cancer risk if you're using a pouch. Companies already offer you free coffee so you can work harder. Why not another stimulant, they say? But we should also sprinkle on more context here,

Starting point is 00:14:58 which would be the downside of the pouches. The big difference with coffee is addiction. You might wear a t-shirt that says you're addicted to lattes, but you're not addicted. Yeah. However, nicotine is literally addiction in chemical form. It's hard to quit and could become a gateway to other things like cigarettes as a result. The founder of Sash, the vending machine company, we mentioned earlier,

Starting point is 00:15:21 said he accidentally got addicted to these things. Addiction. Great business model for the business, not necessarily for the end use. Just because Palantir PMs are doing it doesn't mean it's the right thing for you. So, Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over in the Zinbiz? If you want to understand culture, open up the corporate fridge. Yeties, let's look back a decade ago at the work perks from 2015.

Starting point is 00:15:44 Free kombucha, a closet full of kind bars. Jack, a full fridge of Greek yogurt. It was peak millennial. Today, 44% of companies offer free snacks to workers. The goal is to make workers happy and keep them in the office long. But 10 years after that free kombucha we just mentioned, those fridges in the offices look different. In this economy, there's a lot less free stuff. And instead of nap pods and pet bereavement leave and unlimited dry mango indulgences.

Starting point is 00:16:13 I was curious where you're gone. Offices are now offering you free nicotine. This, besties, this reflects the pivot in priorities to productivity, or at least presumed productivity. The AI industry is so cutthroat, some employers are literally endorsing your new drug habit. Jack, remember last year? we saw that in the 996 work culture working around the clock. Well, now we're seeing it in the Zinn.

Starting point is 00:16:33 If you want to understand where culture is, one place you can look is the corporate fridge. Open it up, see what's free. Jack, can you whip up the takeaways for us for Saviche Wednesday? The ghost of Steve Jobs has haunted Goldman's management of the Apple card, but J.P. Morgan says they're ready for it.

Starting point is 00:16:52 And Jamie Diamond agrees. When politicians take over central banks, it backfires big time. Second, Timothy, Shalameh starred in Marty Supreme and in the staged Zoom video that promoted the movie. That was breaking the fourth wall. It's a concept that works in show business and in real business. And finally, nicotine pouches are popping up in offices as a work perk to keep you alert and stimulated. And it's a reflection of society's pivot from millennial wellness to Altmanian productivity.

Starting point is 00:17:23 But besties, this pod's not over yet. Here's what else you need to know today. First, will Tom Brady lead Team USA in flag football as the quarterback in the 2028 Olympics, Jack? Maybe. Yes. Because Fanatics, the sports apparel company announced yesterday a new media business. And the key highlight, the Flag Football Classic held in Saudi Arabia coming up in March. The goal is to get Tom in shape to potentially lead Team USA in the inaugural flag football that's happening at the next Olympics. Because if there's one thing Tom Brady loves more,

Starting point is 00:17:57 than rings. It's deflated balls. And second, Elon Musk has retirement advice for you. Here's the advice. Don't save for retirement. In a wild podcast interview, Elon suggested that the future of AI and robots could lead to a future that's so abundant that money is abundant as well. So saving for fundamental needs like retirement and rent would be obsolete. This is not financial advice. It's just fascinating that these techno-optists are so optimistic about AI. That in 20 years, They think money will grow on trees. You won't need a 401k. And finally, the Tomogachi is making a comeback.

Starting point is 00:18:34 Google searches and sales for Tomogachi are at their highest point in over two decades. And the business just sold its 100 millionth Tamagotchi last year. They're still going strong. But the question is, is your Tomogachi still going strong, Nick, from childhood? One sec, one sec. No, Mom, you need to give them a vitamin. Dude, the moment when that little creature transformed into a new level of maturity, it's a beautiful thing.

Starting point is 00:18:55 That was a dopamine hit. happy 30th birthday to the Tomogachi. This is your year. Now time for the best fact yet. This one's sent in by Josh Favale from lovely Pawtucket, Rhode Island. Just outside Providence. That's some context. Josh is what's known in the Navy as a nuke, which is slang for the sailors who work with the nuclear submarines. Josh noticed we covered meta's big investments in nuclear power earlier this week, but did you know that the U.S. Navy submarines actually use nuclear power? And did you know that those nuclear submarines can stay underwater for 90 days without coming to the surface? That's right. It is thanks to that nuclear generator on board the sub that power is not the limiting factor.

Starting point is 00:19:39 Food is the limiting factor for when they resurface. The salt water from the sea is actually transformed into drinkable water and even air. And it's all powered by nuclear energy. Josh, thanks for the best fact yet and for your service. Yiddies, you're looking fantastic today. stuck the landing on the Shalamee pronunciation. Look at you. I screwed up the first one, right?

Starting point is 00:20:01 Besties, Jack was looking in the mirror before the pod going, Shalameh. Not Chamon. Shalameh. Do you know he's born and raised in New York? He's a New Yorker through and through. Perfect role. Was this Marty Supreme Character for him?

Starting point is 00:20:13 Timothy Shalmay proves the greatest career pivot you can make is adding a French accent to your first name. Coming from the guy who dropped the H from the name, Nicholas. But that's a story, Jack, for another pod. Yeties, remember to tap to follow us. So you get this podcast, one yet every single day. Because shockingly, 20% of you aren't subscribed yet.

Starting point is 00:20:30 Come on, let's do with people. Jack and I, we'll see you tomorrow. And before we go, a happy birthday to legendary Yeti, Sam Stoby, from Bountiful, Utah, who's also got a new finance job at the Dairy Farmers of America. This guy is worth more than 2%. That was the best finance dairy joke I've ever heard Nick. He earned it. And Jamie Gonzalez, some lovely Long Island, New York, just converted from T.

Starting point is 00:21:01 Light to T-Boy Heavy. Jamie, welcome to the pod. That is a promotion. And a shout-out to Leo Kedanas in Madrid, Spain. Thanks for the best fact yet about Venezuela. And Jack, a special one here for Gilly O'Leary, the legendary Yeti I ran into in Pack Heights. She's got the best granola brand west of the Mississippi. Slow Street. Love the branding. And to anyone else celebrating something today, Nick and T-Boy. Celebrate the wins. This is Jack. Nick and I both on stock and Apple.

The Best One Yet - 🏓 “Fruition-izing” — Marty Supreme’s growth hack. Steve Jobs’ Apple Card ghost. Free Zyn at Work. +5am wakeups

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